Turd 2: Hector's Grand Tour: GOLDEN PITH AWARD pg 10

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Posted: Fri Mar 26, 2010 8:01 pm

@JJ, congrats! What better way to celebrate than to hear the dulcet tones of Heckforbrains' voice! Laughing

WELL DONE! happy crowd

Posted: Fri Mar 26, 2010 8:43 pm

Mohamed wrote:

My brother,

Salaams.

I have heard from our mutual friend the good news that you are in Mali. I was hoping to see you at Friday prayers today, but alas you were not there. I shall expect you next Friday, or you can come to Menaka and I will meet you there.

In'shallah, may have a small job for you. It would require going to Sudan, and we can make arrangements for you, plane ticket, documents, travel cash, pay on arrival. Its a small job, simply delivering an envelope to a government official, but it would pay a bit.

Please let me know when we might expect you here so that we can adequately prepare for your arrival.

Fi amanullah,

Mohamed

Trophy Videos · Posted: Fri Mar 26, 2010 9:54 pm

bonkaholic wrote:

Any chance of getting Hectowhereintheworld to South Africa for the World Cup so he can pick a trophy up himself? Laughing

Well, you know, there are a couple more 55C's down there.... you never know.
First he must survive Ethiopia, and perhaps Somalia? Wink

@JJ - Me, me, me! Please call me before you get HeroKing on the phone, my evil queen! You know i love listening in. Very Happy

Posted: Fri Mar 26, 2010 10:00 pm

SlapHappy wrote:

@JJ - Me, me, me! Please call me before you get HeroKing on the phone, my evil queen! You know i love listening in. Very Happy

This.

Posted: Fri Mar 26, 2010 10:32 pm

JadeFalcon wrote:

SlapHappy wrote:

@JJ - Me, me, me! Please call me before you get HeroKing on the phone, my evil queen! You know i love listening in. Very Happy

This.

Jade dont forget what you said to me!

Posted: Fri Mar 26, 2010 10:42 pm

^^^
That's best kept in secret, J_J. Very Happy

Posted: Fri Mar 26, 2010 10:45 pm

"Mohamed" wrote:

My brother,

Salaams.

I have heard from our mutual friend the good news that you are in Mali. Alhamdu'lilah. I was hoping to hear from you that you would be attending Friday prayers today, but alas you were not there. You were only partly expected. I shall expect you next Friday, or you can come to Menaka and I will meet you there.

In'shallah, I may have a small job for you. It would require going to Sudan, and we can make arrangements for you, plane ticket, documents, travel cash, you would receive your pay on arrival. Its a small job, simply delivering an envelope to a government official, but it would pay a bit.

I am afraid I do not know what you look like. As you know, we often use codes when we have to meet strangers, and since I have never met you, and to avoid an uncertainties, I would like you to follow these instructions very, very closely. If you deviate from them, I will suspect you are not what you appear to be, and you shall not hear from me again.

Please <snip> you will not hear from me again. I am sorry to be so cautious, but as you are still a stranger to me, these small protocols must be observed.

I look forwar to receiving you here. Please let me know when we might expect you here so that we can adequately prepare for your arrival.

Fi amanullah,

Mohamed

Posted: Sat Mar 27, 2010 6:04 am

Bah, Skype kept crapping out on me so I had a bit of a time keeping a connection. I was able to piece together what we talked about into one file. Just be warned, there are no goodbyes. It will just...end. Sorry about that.

http://yourlisten.com/lusciousrump/26-mar-2010malimp3

Hectard is such a rock star now, I think there were 4 other listeners on mute hanging in the background at the time of the call Laughing

Edit: Oh, he says he's in Kayes, Mali. I'm pretty sure he isn't in a hotel. He's 'hanging around' the bus terminal near a bridge. I will try him again later. Maybe I'll get a better connection.

Posted: Sat Mar 27, 2010 9:19 am

Nice! I love the bushy roads!

Posted: Sat Mar 27, 2010 10:20 am

Quote:

A very terrible trip.

Happy Anniversary, Just Jane! Very Happy

Posted: Sat Mar 27, 2010 12:58 pm

*yawn* I decided to sleep in a little late today. I guess I forgot to tend to our intrepid traveler.

Quote:

Irina,
The tlephoe nextwork was unstable when you called. I can barely hear you.
Maybe you sold buy a local pohne line, for easier communication
I heard you say something about dusty cloud made you to stop the plane
Where are you now?Are you in Mali ,Where in Mali so that i can come look for you immediately.
I am in Kayes Ndi,at the bus terminal,it is after he river bridge.
Which hotel are you?
Please call me.

We talked how long and all he can remember is the 'dusty cloud'? He must have been talking in his sleep. Now why doesn't that surprise me.....

Trophy Videos · Posted: Sat Mar 27, 2010 2:16 pm

Thanks, Jane, for letting me listen in. Very Happy

Good thing we were all on mute, as when he said the word, "catarrh" again like he did after Benin safari, I lost it! Laughing

The ending was perfect. We were all spared of another 10 minute rant about all that has happened to him since last year. Smile

Just for your information about where he is, and where Irina and the pilot are, I got a map for you. I think Jane means the town of Keiela, which is off the main highway north of Kayes, where Hector is. Keiela is circled in red, and Kayes in blue.

And here is a satellite view of the bridge Hector is sleeping and waiting near.

He has some shade trees to hang out under. Damn! Still too plush! Evil or Very Mad

Posted: Sat Mar 27, 2010 2:40 pm

All I got from him was :

Date:Fri, Mar 26, 2010 11:54 am

Quote:

Nighthawk,
Now in Kayes
Where are you?
Email me details
Lively

Date:Sat, Mar 27, 2010 11:08 am

Quote:

Nighthawk,
What is going on? Where are you at?
Spoke to totty2 on tab,now in kayes Ndi.
Tell me how to see you.
lively

Quote:

Lively
Listen sport, old duffer totty2 put us down on some backwater airstrip, Kafa.
Bit of a choker here, will head south ASAP, Totty 2 said she got you on the blower, she'll give you another bell to keep you up to date.

Nighthawk.

Posted: Sat Mar 27, 2010 3:38 pm

Damn you Farnsworth! You are keeping the two lovebirds from meeting! Laughing

I spoke with him again today. This time without skype crapping out.

http://yourlisten.com/lusciousrump/27-mar-10hectormali

Posted: Sat Mar 27, 2010 4:39 pm

"He drinks this British stuff called Pims, it's nasty!"
Nice one Jane!
Laughing

Posted: Sat Mar 27, 2010 6:21 pm

^^ JJ am not convinced by his love! he sounds too casual for a serious suitor. Lovely voice can he sing 'ole man river?

Trophy Videos · Posted: Sat Mar 27, 2010 7:30 pm

Excellent call, Jane. I stand corrected on Farnsworth and Irina's position. They are in Kafa, which is about 7 miles WnW of the circled town on my map, Keiela. Descriptions of dusty roads and hot air is making me thirsty. Nothing like the forcast of Kayes. 110 degrees F, 12mph winds, Widespread Dust. Too bad he found a nice air-conditioned cozy spot to sleep for free in the bus terminal. Smile

Posted: Sat Mar 27, 2010 7:38 pm

DevilWoman, he does <3 me. Lookee here:

Quote:

Irina,
Please get out of there as quickly as you can,i heard northern part of Mali is full of terrorist and kidnappers,it is not safe.
They said there are report that al-queida rebels .
Please get over here.Dont risk your life b'cos of flying test,you mean more to me,my mind is not at restover here, i cant even sleep,just wondering where you are at.
I have been waiting here for you for two days now.
Please be mindful of the timeframe given.
Call me.
Love

Slappy was asking me this morning if I was going to coax him north to come rescue me. I replied that he usually finds some way to bait himself. Hmmm terrorists. We have the FBI, Interpol, crooked Safari Camp operators, jewel thieves, murderers, passport forgers, and Ninjas but no terrorists yet, right? Laughing

Posted: Sat Mar 27, 2010 8:17 pm

^^^ Think it is time for him to jump into fire from fryer pan. Shocked

Posted: Sat Mar 27, 2010 9:08 pm

SlapHappy wrote:

Too bad he found a nice air-conditioned cozy spot to sleep for free in the bus terminal. Smile

Yes... are you trying to spoil your Heckpet?

Kayes Bus Terminal Very Happy

Posted: Sat Mar 27, 2010 9:15 pm

Well, goats to keep him company!

Posted: Sun Mar 28, 2010 7:31 am

Hectard wrote:

Happy anniversary

I wonder if he's using that Universel Informatique cafe in Niagara's picture.

edit: Since Hector has moved, Sarah will tantalize him again. If he hadn't been such a fearboi, he would have seen that she is not angry with him at all.

Queen Sarah wrote:

Our King our Love,

Why so silent with us our darling? We have been dying for words of comfort from you since Etta angered us so with her extortion attempt. Is something wrong? Can we help you in any way?

Your darling loveing Queen
Sarah Bellum
Empress of Simba

Stred-a-lad wrote:

My queen,
I have been sick and hospitalized.
I will write you when i am fit and discharge from hospital in a few days.
Your King

I think he's lying. Mad

Mad Queen Sarah wrote:

King:

Why did you not tell us you are Sick? Where are you hospitalized and for what? Please tell us, we can take anything unless it is a sexually transmitted disease caused by cheating.

We are very consumed with our anger at Etta. She gave us only a name, this Philios Zacariades. We spit every time we say his disgusting name. We hope the ninja will bring back his head from Senegal very soon. But Etta gave us nothing else and in fact demanded $6,000,000 (SIX MILLION DOLLARS US) for the information. We never thought Etta would try to extort money from us, we are saddened and angry. She ran away in shame after the meeting but we are searching for her to bring her to justice. Meanwhile our dear friend Irina seems to have left us, so we are left here friendless and emotionally stranded. Dr Pron says we need a vacation in a sunny place away from all this. We feel isolated and loney.

Your sad Queen
HRH Sarah Bellum
Ruler of all Simba

Posted: Sun Mar 28, 2010 2:05 pm

Epstein thought Hectard would have more credibility as the Israeli Moishe Moskowitz if he were to join Epstein's temple congregation. Here is Hectard fulfilling one of the requirements by saying a Jewish prayer, the Sh'ma Yisrael.

Hector says the Sh'ma in Hebrew

This K7 recording is unacceptable. Hectard is supposed to record it on video for the rabbi, in full "Jewish" dress. In Mali.

btw we mean no offense to our friends who may be Jewish.

Trophy Videos · Posted: Sun Mar 28, 2010 3:00 pm

Great stuff, Bo! Laughing

Good luck on the video. And if he actually gets access to a camera, how about a recreation of Gene Kelley's "Singing In The Rain?" I'm sure there are umbrellas there in that hot desert. And make sure he does it in that goat pen next to the terminal. They would enjoy the show. Smile

Posted: Sun Mar 28, 2010 4:07 pm

No offence either, to our friends who may be Muslim.

Walid wrote:

Mi s be ask me which part you there now sake of he wan no iffn yu is go be which part he is teld yu go be he ask me mek i be tell yu is go be Tiboictou friday sake if is go be Menaka later. Yu is need go timbouctou bby Thursday sake of he is go be look yu there.

Is teld me send he foto. I done deleat the foto you done send me long time sake of no keep tht so he teld me mek i be tell you is need foto noww mek he no yu send him foto so he is no is yu no someone pretend is yu. Is job guy like me caarful no wan get prolbems.

I is go be busy nex few days so meybe no is go be repson yu when u is go be write me sake if i go be bsuy.

My guuy in Eth sayd mek i tell you is ninja is look yu back Sengal and Gamiba. You safe. Sayd iffn you is in Bamako, get out sake of interpols may be there. Sayd Mr E is reddy mek yu meet hi Dijibuit.

Is good no yu is safe bother. Still be carful. Is think of yu.

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