Turd 2: Hector's Grand Tour: GOLDEN PITH AWARD pg 10

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Posted: Thu Mar 18, 2010 1:41 pm

In a note to Hectard, his good friend Walid wrote:

I is do reley masasage to my guy mek him no is gone be yu go be which part he be wit Mr E so he could be wiith yu mek he give yu papesr in Dijbiuti. My guy is sayd ok mek yu go that place yu is sayd yu go be in Djiubiti.

My guy sayd mek yu tell me when yu go is be move to go is be that place mek he no sake of he gone close down file fine next man for arrets who interpols and fbi go be is think yu they catch but is next guy no yu they got and why they got him is yu go travel sake of they got next gyu no yu and they is go be think they is has yu when they got next guy.

He has gyu set up in Ghana, so they is look there now no in Senegal my guy sayd so is when yu go travel he go be have next guy is think is philos catch arrets and wehn he is go be detain yu is go travel under real name no under philos name.

Mon frere, is eat too much food here. Italia, he nice yu is go like thid plaec when yu got works here. My guy sayd is go be send yu on job quick thing with new pasport go Israel, then Italia, then mey Spain aske of Span is nice plaec sell gun.

Yu be carful, bother. No get fuk. Remain bless.

Posted: Thu Mar 18, 2010 1:48 pm

^^^Actually, that´s an image I´d expect from someone with a bible-thumping background. I wonder if the lad hasn´t been a preacher at some point.

@JJ
This is no way to treat a lady. She´s expected to bribe her way out of a hospital, find a cheap, safe hotel, arrange the pickup with Farnsworth and, no doubt, send a stretch limo to pick up ToHeckWithHim.
No, no and no.

I wonder how Irna would react if she saw 'the book'...

Posted: Thu Mar 18, 2010 1:55 pm

@bohigal - Wow! Hectomato in full brown-nosing meltdown. Love this bit:

Quote:

I use my power to get you out despite the fact that i was denied access to reach you by email and phone

So... what? This squashed banana now has supernatural powers?

Posted: Thu Mar 18, 2010 3:30 pm

OK, so Irina gets hold of a mickey-finn to make her ill,based on the expected arrival of Farnsworth, plan is to rope Farnsworth in to fly her out to 'hospital' i.e. Hector, bad weather delays Farnsworth's arrival, now Irina is seriously ill and .......

I still don't get any nookie out of this, most unfair!

What will Hector do next?

Posted: Thu Mar 18, 2010 4:29 pm

I think he is trying to get out of Senegal, with an eye to end up in Djibouti. He will head to Mauritania next!

Posted: Thu Mar 18, 2010 5:47 pm

You gotta love this lad. He practically writes his own destiny by giving us mails like this...

Quote:

Irina,
First, you will need to ask Farnsworth,, he is plane Ask him which private air field is the best and most secured for him to land the plane without any anyone raising eye brows.then i will be able to choose a lcoation near to meet you I am sure he must have several air fields between Gambia and senegal where he can land plane.
Plese be intelligent when you are dealing with him,if he is ok we use him if not we forget about him.
Get back to me.
Hector

Too bad the closest, best, most secure field won't be as near as he thinks. Laughing

Posted: Thu Mar 18, 2010 9:46 pm

Mr. E got this today.

Ramblin' lad wrote:

Subject: Thanks for your help, i really appreciate it

Big Uncle,
Eritrea requires visa application and processing and this will take time.
Djibouti is visa on arrvial, i am considering that.
Can we meet in Djibouti?
Moishe

I'll wait until after the Sabbath to reply. He'll spend another weekend enjoying Dakar, wondering when he can move East.

Posted: Thu Mar 18, 2010 9:50 pm

Hectardarooni wrote:

Tell him that , i am lookign for money to move out of here, i think i have told you several times that i have no access to any money,
If i can get some money , i can move this weekend
You know going to Djibouti, i have to go out of here to another country first, then from there find plane go to Djibouti, all this will cost money. if he can get me some cash, i will move this weekend
The iterpol are done in Gambia and they may want to coem here next week.
Tell himto act and divert them, so that i cna leave, i need some moeny on me, this is the problem.

Posted: Fri Mar 19, 2010 1:39 am

A begging Hecturdlette wrote:

Tell him that, I have check with airline from Mali, there is ethopian airline going to Djibouti.
I can get to Mali, but i need money to get ticket.I think i have told you several times that i have no access to any money here
Can you sk him to find away to get me somoen or ticket from Mali?
If i can get some money ,then i can move this weekend.
You know going to Djibouti, i have to go out of here to another country first, then from there find plane go to Djibouti, all this will cost money. if he can get me some cash, i will move this weekend
Tell him the interpol have finish in Gambia and they may want to come here next week.
Tell him to act and divert them, so that i can leave, seriously i need some money on me, this is the problem.

Posted: Fri Mar 19, 2010 1:54 am

A begging Hecturdlette wrote:

. . .i need money. . . i have no access to any money . . . If i can get some money . . . all this will cost money. if he can get me some cash,. . . i need some money . . .

Summarized it for easy reading. Wink

Posted: Fri Mar 19, 2010 2:00 am

Walid says no when he wrote:

I no is yu said srval time yu is be need mony. I no go no be no send no mony no yu aany atall. My guy he no go be send no mony no hown no at all now way. Mr E he no go be sent no mony now hoew no way neeether. My guy is sayd go be no be go beg no more sake of operationsl securty. He no go be send no monys yu noway nohwo. Yu is go b figger that out mek yu need go be get yuself to which part he is be sayd mek yu fo be that place he sayd you go beand need go fine mony now ok.

I get to unnerstan that Mr E is ready go delver paper yu anytime soon yu go is be which part yu is need be. Djibouti go be work yu now sake of my gys sayd yu go there one time and he go send Mr E who be give yu new paper yu be new man in olde clothhes.

My gu is tell me mek i be is tel yu is time go way from Senegals sake of yu there too long mek interpols fine yu. Better yu be go now soon toay no stay no more in that place. Yu is use same intetnt cafe? If so, is bad move. Yu need go be switsh up, meybe be run next place out Senegals.

Yu i no go be teld me no more about needs mony. Is oprtaional securty. I no go be send no mony no how no my guy no send Mr E he no send no mony now how no go be happen. Get over it.

Mek yu tbe teld me when yu is go be moving ok.

Be carful. No get fuck. Remain bless.

Summarized here:

Walid, making it abundantly clear to Hecturd wrote:

I no go no be no send no mony... My guy he no go be send no mony... Mr E he no go be sent no mony... He no go be send no monys... Yu i no go be teld me no more about needs mony... I no go be send no mony no how no my guy no send Mr E he no send no mony...

Trophy Videos · Posted: Fri Mar 19, 2010 2:57 am

No money means no more credit from friends and family, and his scamming is doing poorly. Great! Very Happy

Do you think he would stoop so high as to beg for cash, or (gulp!) get a job? He might be interseted in this link then.
http://www.learn4good.com/jobs/language/english/list/country/senegal/
Smile

Posted: Fri Mar 19, 2010 3:02 am

It just keeps getting better and better! The poor lad is starting to have problems with his English.

Posted: Fri Mar 19, 2010 11:53 am

Flesh-eating cat wrote:

(gulp!) get a job?

I was thinking prostitution.

Posted: Fri Mar 19, 2010 1:08 pm

Unhappy lad wrote:

No ticket, no money, i have try to figure out how to get money, no way
men dont know what to do

Going on six weeks worth of unhappy travels in Senegal Very Happy

Edited to add, in what amounts to beautiful poetry:

In another email immediately after this, Hector wrote:

You have no idea how hard is this thing being in a country where you know no one.
I have noway ot rasie moeny here, do oyu tihnk i will be here all these while if i have money, I am fucking stranded over here, no ticket, no money nothing.
I am not joking friend, i wish you can imagine yourself in this kind of situation.
I need ticket to move from Mali.Ask him if he cant send money, then let him buy a ticket, if he decline that, then men i will be fucked here

I love this hobby.

Posted: Fri Mar 19, 2010 1:33 pm

^^: As the saying goes: 'That's music to my ears'.

Hector is being a little impatient with the fly-in meeting. Irina and Farnsworth are pressing for details.

Quote:

Irina,
Have you seeing Fansworth?
I wrote him an email since two days, he is not responding?
I do not think we can trust and rely on him anymore?
What is the situation at the camp?
What do we do now? do you think of any other plan apart form Farnsworth?
Maybe if you insist that your passport be given to you that you want to get out of the country? then we meet somewhere.
Can you travelling with the whole cash?
Please be calm,relax and think what we must do You know i cannot come to thecamp now, interpol is suspecting everyone, that lady Sarah is causing the whole lot of bullshit.I am missing you so badly
hector

Posted: Fri Mar 19, 2010 1:57 pm

Date:Fri, Mar 19, 2010 8:24 am

Quote:

nighthawk,
Read my laast message to you quickly

Quote:

Got your blurb old chap,

Totty 2 wants out of camp, need a bit of a recce on a landing site, had a word with Bongo, gave me some gen on a place in Mauritania, dirt strip, bit dicey if wet, I'll get the Met Office to pass the word on what kind of splish-splosh we're likely to see,
Remember the range of Lucy it'll have to be about 300Nm from here so we'll see you there and pik up the smurfs and statues later old bean

Nighthawk

Posted: Fri Mar 19, 2010 2:30 pm

Walid wrote:

Is way he go sometime sake of no bodies no be wan go get fuck sake of brakesing opoerational security. He nos is go be send no mony no way no ho no go be happen beter yu go fine one netx way sake he no go be happen no way send mony no how any at all.

my guy sayd tell yu go be fine fudns go head soon be Djibuiti mek Mr E go give yu paper and mony there whih part he go be teld you go be meet him go be is mek safe no get fuck sake of is there wait yu with mony and pasport.

yu neeed tuffen up men no go be cry cry bebe. yu is need be tuff. is no go be like this forever. when yu reach which part my guy is teld yu go be rech yu go be see all propblem yu din see is temoprery sutiuation an yu go see how sweet life go be onliest has to mek it this lee time until such time yu done reach my guy. Yu go see wht is say.

Look me is in Italia wait job. I is has mony hasjob sleep nice eet this job he is be pay one lot an i only has to be do my guy whet he is be teld me got be do and then no pronlem. I ony need do some few thing my guy aks me go be is do him.

Takee hart frend yu go be okk when you is meet Mr E. All yur porblem is go by by.

Rember, this no go be like this long time. When yu reach, all is go be good.

Posted: Fri Mar 19, 2010 3:35 pm

3TRB wrote:

that lady Sarah is causing the whole lot of bullshit.

Wtf? What happened to "all respect and glory be yours my Queen"? Sonofa...!! Mad

Ok he's had enough fun.

walid wrote:

yu neeed tuffen up men no go be cry cry bebe

Epstein has confirmed he will try to move the operation to Djibouti. It will take a few days to set up, so he may as well carry on enjoying his holiday on the Atlantic coast.

Posted: Fri Mar 19, 2010 4:27 pm

I don't think he has yet said to either of us where the hell he is, but Mauritania is the only option for a safe and secure meeting. Very Happy

Quote:

Irina,
How i wish you have your ticket with you, we will just fly out some quiet palce of our own have time for ourselves and being out of reach of third parties such as guards, interpol,staff,prying eyes e.t.c
The man wrote me,he siad he is look for for a good airfield, i hope we can trsut him, i do not know him, just trying him, you have to keep an eye on him check if he is for real or not,
Darling, i said and i repeat resist to give sexual favours to anyone, you belong to me honey, we are due to alone after all these while, alot of bullshit has happened..
Every attempt i made tosee you has always been thwarted we get close (LOL) ,so i guess this tie,we msut fight all hindrances.You need to check on Fanrsworth to see if he is actually doing it, if he is not setting up, make sure he did not tell anyone where you are onging, we msut aovid all interception, guards, interpol and sarah,staffs , from knowing, this is bettwen us,we deserve it darling.
I am suspecting this Sarah want to set me up unsign her power as the new owner, she seem to be very mad becuase i said and repeat to her on phone that you are the one i love and want to be with.Please be alert, do not give in to her suggestion and simba lies, be strong, keep all that is between us secret, Irina,we both have come a long way than for anyone or any controlversies,lies to seperate us.
we have doen the best we have done the best we can to Sarah,by saving her, so now is the time for us to get over with simba and continue our lives.
If Farnworth,is not going to work,then we have no other option than for you to leave the camp permanently and free out of eyes and guards.
But in the meantime,hang on,i will check with Farnsworth and see if he can do it or not
Tell me what is going on in the camp.
Love,
Hector

Posted: Fri Mar 19, 2010 5:41 pm

In his last email to Walid he mentions being in Mali. He may have migrated across the border, at which point a good meeting place would be Timbuktu. I have not been able to check his IP today.

Bo wrote:

Ok he's had enough fun.

Trophy Videos · Posted: Fri Mar 19, 2010 5:58 pm

Quote:

then men i will be fucked here

Oh, men. Bummer, men. Cool

Catfight 2 will be be another Main Event. Buy your advance tickets to see the show at Timbouktu now. They will sell out fast! Smile

Posted: Fri Mar 19, 2010 6:57 pm

Quote:

Every attempt i made tosee you has always been thwarted we get close

Haha, I was literally on the floor laughing when I read this! Great job JustJane!

Quote:

mek safe no get fuck

Drugs for the mind! happy crowd

Posted: Fri Mar 19, 2010 7:29 pm

Date:Fri, Mar 19, 2010 3:01 pm

Quote:

NightHawk,

Can you handle this confidentially? no fuck ups.It is safe?
Is Nutcracker in the area51 yet?I suppose you know she is ought to be delay till
this is done
How about the blue uniform boys, still in Gambia or where,please give infos.
Apart form the place in Mauritania which other safe landing site do yo that is
safe form interpols and all sorts of bullshit.
Be watchful no,operation security breah
Give me updates quick
Lively

lemme see now,

Quote:

Lively,
Nutcracker due tomorrow morning.
I understand that Fruitbat might also be coming here, no proof of the pudding yet.
Boys in Blue believed heading west.
Mauritania old chap is furthest west the old crate will go without running out of motion lotion.
Could fly south but that would be away from you so not so good.

Where would be better for you old chap?

Nighthawk

He'll have to work out who Fruitbat is (Jade)
Oh dear, Etta might be arriving soon. More problems for Hectobrainimplosion.

Posted: Fri Mar 19, 2010 7:32 pm

IG: Let's not divert Etta after all. If he asks, she will arrive at Sarah's location tomorrow. I need Hectarnit to start imagining they've met and talked.

@Doc: As of 1:10am PDT this morning, his IP was
41.214.37.13 Senegal (Dakar)*.

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