Parti boi adventures - Baiters wanted

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Posted: Thu Mar 06, 2014 4:00 pm

INTRO.
If you're not familiar with my lad Sley, here's a quick story of him.
In september 2011, Next Victim found a lad selling chemicals who was massbaited. The Gomers were introduced and with them, the Xmas parti leitmotif. The two lads (Sl3y, aka parti boi and Paul, his "broda") were safaried from Lagos to Benin City. Next year a bunch of baiters directed by Stoney started massbaiting him as the Gomerbois, inviting him to the Christmas party, where a gigantic pot of money, coming from all the chops the gomers have done throughout the year is shared in equal parts. The lad safaried to Benin and spend some days in a hotel, paid with borrowed money. Of course, he couldn't find the party venues. Then the CIA raided the party and the pot was lost for good. On november 2013 Stoney and I started working in a new safari for him, in order to rescue the pot, in hands of a mysterious Dr Williams. The lad travelled to Benin and spent two days there. Of course he couldn't meet with Dr Williams and the pot was lost.
Then, I, as a Gomer chief sent him a stupid format and he was massbaited again (the bait got rumbled so I had to delete the thread).
With this excuse, I told him that the Gomer Committee (Chairman, Chief John, Chief Kanga and Chief Harry) would meet in Kano to clean all the Gomer computer systems and question some lads about the matter (the boi found himself on Eater, but I convinced him that it was a mole that had done this).

EDIT: He travelled to Kano on the 17th of march. Safari history starts on the bottom of page one.

Now Sl3y is about to travel to Kano. After he found himself here we invented that we had a mole in the gbois. The gomer emergency committee met up in Kano, where we're still trying to establish who's fault it is. Obviously, we have to interrogate our lad.

Here's the conversation we've had during the week. He has finally borrowed some money and he's about to travel (I love this. He'll whine for weeks and weeks on end and suddenly, boom. He self baits into something). Now, I need him to call me from a landline in order to check that he has actually travelled.

Small Boi
Chief I'm coming with one friend on mind O, hope that will cause problem O

Tururut/Gomer Chief
very good
but he must wait somewhere else while we speak to you
which friend is it?

Small Boi
He the one that want transport me

Small Boi
He the one that want to borrow me transport fee, It that okay by you chief?

Tururut/Gomer Chief
very good

Small Boi
Alright chief, I hope we are very safe, because I hear that a lot of boko harm are in Kano state? is't true

Small Boi
hello chief, the Guy that want to give me money said he must follow me down to kano, and the money he is giving me is just ten thousand naira only, and the money is just for the GOING alone, after we get to kano we will run out of cash, chief are u assuring us that we will see you there when we get to kano? Because we will be left stranded in kano if we don't meet you there. please let's be sure if we will meet you in kano.. One Love

Small Boi
Chief call me now please...one love

Tururut/Gomer Chief
Hey broda, listen, I dont want any guy who's not a gomer know where we are meeting

Small Boi
Call me on phone let talk about it...
Chief
Are you there???

Tururut/Gomer Chief
then for security I get redirect number. I don't think mobile phones are safe so I want u to do d following. If u don't do it, we will not meet with u. Listen carefully bcos it dey very important. 1) U get to Kano city. 2) U find a place with LANDLINE phones. Landline, no mobile. 3) U use this phone to call +1xxxxxxxxxxx and leave a message saying where u are. We go come very soon.

Tururut/Gomer Chief
Remember, if u don't call from a landline, we will not pick up d phone, it can be unsafe
it could be that someone is bugging the gomer phones
do you understand?

Small Boi
I'm confused chief
I don't even understand your massage

Tururut/Gomer Chief
Holy crap. READ. VERY. CAREFULLY.

Small Boi
No

Tururut/Gomer Chief
1) You get to Kano.
Can you do that?

Small Boi
Chief please just come down there and pick me up
Pleaseeeee

Tururut/Gomer Chief
hey broda, we agreed you would get to Kano, right?

Small Boi
What is the mean of landline (Holy cow how can he be such an idiot)
Yeah

Tururut/Gomer Chief
A phone that is not a mobile
a phone from a shop/restarurant/cybercafe/whatever

Small Boi
See chief, if I get to kano on Saturday or Sunday
I will massage you on Facebook and meet me (No thanks, only Mrs Tururut massages me)

Tururut/Gomer Chief
look boi, we really must use the safest way
a phone that doesn't belong to the gomers is the only way to make sure we are not bugged
remember what happened in your last trip to Benin, the CIA raided Dr William

Small Boi
Am scare now chief (Don't worry. Your beloved chief will protect you).

Tururut/Gomer Chief
because we didn't use safety measures
LOOK BRODA, if u follow our instructions, then you are safe.
if you do what you want, then you are not safe

Small Boi
Hmmmmm
Chief please, when I get to kano I will call you, please are you assured me that I will see you there

Tururut/Gomer Chief
of course

Small Boi
But I'm a little bit confused chief
You believe what I say or do
You not even send me small money like 10,000 naira
I go to benin and I lost everything
You don't even say sorry bro for your lost
And I trust you guys with all my heart all because of money

Tururut/Gomer Chief
look. We have given u plenty of opportunities
any guyman would have given a right arm for what u have had
this is ur last chance. COme to kano now and get money

Small Boi
Which Opportunity? Name Tham
All the opportunity mess up
No back up, No supporter, No helper
No money to try again
Is that opportunity

Tururut/Gomer Chief
listen very carefully. Ur mess ups have cost us thousands of dollar
we lost the pot, you didn't recover
you'd better be grateful for all the opportunities
we never punished you. Other gomerbois have been punished for a lot less
now, I'll see you on saturday in Kano
have to go now
one love

Posted: Thu Mar 06, 2014 4:08 pm

If he travels, how many safaris will that be from him??

Good Luck Tururut, I hope for success.

Posted: Thu Mar 06, 2014 4:12 pm

Turu, tell him Candi has flown down just for the occasion!

Posted: Thu Mar 06, 2014 4:20 pm

Oh, this is going to be good! The only thing better than a lad borrowing money to safari is when he borrows only enough for a one-way trip.

Very Happy

Posted: Thu Mar 06, 2014 4:31 pm

^^^ ...and he's taking his debtor with him.

Posted: Thu Mar 06, 2014 4:37 pm

Good luck TV!

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 11 Jan 2014 Posts: 688

This is genius! I wish your lad a pain filled and soul destroying trip.

Amen

Posted: Thu Mar 06, 2014 5:24 pm

Big Al wrote:

^^^ ...and he's taking his debtor with him.

It doesn't get any better. Good luck Tururut!

Posted: Thu Mar 06, 2014 5:35 pm

Big Al wrote:

If he travels, how many safaris will that be from him??

Good Luck Tururut, I hope for success.

His fourth-

1. Benin City-Lagos-Benin City (By Stoney and some other baiters, unproved).

2. Lagos-Cotonou-Natitingou (By Stoney and many, many baiters, including me).

3. Lagos-Parakou-Kandi (By Stoney and I with the cooperation of Dr Mike).

4. Lagos-Kano (By Tururut, still to be done and proved).

5. Who knows? But I'll try to push him further, fear not.

And yeah, I love the fact he's taking his debtor with him. I hope broken legs will ensue.

Posted: Thu Mar 06, 2014 8:08 pm

Kewl! It'll make for an even better script (if/when he ever gets round to writing it).

Posted: Fri Mar 07, 2014 12:41 am

Kelvin travelled from Edo State to Kano. He told me that the journey via minibus took 11 3/4 hrs.

Posted: Fri Mar 07, 2014 5:41 am

Looking forward to reading the outcome!

Posted: Fri Mar 07, 2014 12:06 pm

News from the little twerp.

yesterday, small boi wrote:

chief
Please send me 10,000 tomarrow morning please
Please I'm beging you

and today, small boi wrote:

Chief all my mate that will started yahoo together are buying cars, houses, and materials things, is a pity that I haven't achieve any things at all, please chief make me rich and me let to buy car, house, materials things too, please show me the way... You know I always do anythings you ask me to do, please help me out, I need money to buy those things, please, I don't want to reglet coming to Kano, if na small car self give me, I will collect it...One Love

Pure gold. Love every single sentence of this.

The chief answers.

Quote:

Broda, we already agreed that you will recieve ur help when u get to Kano
now very important. This evening I will call you and give u the phone number you have to call. Then I WILL SHUT DOWN MY FACEBOOK AND MOBILE PHONE. We have other gbois to question and we want to take zero risks. I will also give you a code name
You will speak with the hotel receptionist

Posted: Fri Mar 07, 2014 12:13 pm

The Monsignor wrote:

Kelvin travelled from Edo State to Kano. He told me that the journey via minibus took 11 3/4 hrs.

Edo state is 200 kilometres closer to Kano than Lagos. If he goes by private car, it should take 13 hours according to google maps. If they travel by bus, a lot more.

Posted: Fri Mar 07, 2014 8:42 pm

The chief called today. Thanks a lot to TM who'll play the role of the hotel owner.

http://www.4shared.com/mp3/QZ2nHtl0ce/boi_prepares_for_the_travel.html

Posted: Fri Mar 14, 2014 12:01 pm

As you can deduce, lazy boi failed to travel. It looks like the guy who had to lend him money let him down on the last minute (wise of him, though).
He sent me a message telling me that he wanted to come this weekend. TM, as the manager of the hotel he's staying in called to confirm, but everything looked like he wouldn't be travelling. However, today I got this message.

Quote:

Yeah, I'm on my way benin City pack (I guess he means Car park) now, to look for kano state motor pack, be expectng me on Saturday Or Sunday, because I hear that the journey is 10hours 30minutes, please don't let me down this time around, because all my friends did not count on me again, they all called me failure, I want to prove them wrong chief. I really need your help...

Posted: Fri Mar 14, 2014 12:18 pm

I hope he really is travelling for you. Poor boi gonna be Stredded again. He will have a nice hotel room waiting for him though.

Posted: Fri Mar 14, 2014 2:25 pm

Yeah, a ten ft by ten ft room with a temperature over 40C, no windows with five fellow criminals inside.

Posted: Fri Mar 14, 2014 3:49 pm

Wishing you all the very best with this. SH Kano will extend a warm welcome to your Guest (if he can find us Wink

)

Kano Motor Park? Ah, brings back great memories! Cool

Posted: Mon Mar 17, 2014 11:09 am

Lad sent me this.

Quote:

I'm in kano now... Ask than to come and pick me up, their number is not though... I'm in kano pack now...

TM and I are about to check it... Let's hope he travels.

Posted: Mon Mar 17, 2014 3:22 pm

We got him into a taxi to the hotel and I spoke to the driver. I think we can call this safari confirmed. Thanks again to TM for his help.

http://www.4shared.com/mp3/-O8prLcpce/Call_with_2348039196081_dl_mar.html

Posted: Mon Mar 17, 2014 3:28 pm

Congrats!! Did his Buddy travel with him or is he alone??

Posted: Mon Mar 17, 2014 3:32 pm

Alone, AFAIK. Well, he'll have to sleep rough tonight.

Posted: Mon Mar 17, 2014 3:35 pm

Supercalifragalisticexpialidocious clapping

Posted: Mon Mar 17, 2014 3:37 pm

Great job! I especially loved this:

Quote:

because all my friends did not count on me again, they all called me failure

I don't know how he'll show his face at home again....

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