Fatso

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Posted: Sat May 22, 2004 4:15 pm

I forgot to save this one's first letter to me, or my initial response. It was, of course, the standard bullshit, and I replied with a mild "Give me info" letter. So, she writes me back:

>From: Fatou Dangogo <[email protected]>
>To: xxxxxxxxxx.com
>Subject: IN LORDSHIP
>Date: Wed, 19 May 2004 08:03:28 -0700 (PDT)
>
> DEAR DR. HUGH G. RECTION
>Thanks for your kind reply. and for your feeling towards me, just as you made mentioned, all i want from you is prayers. I do hope that you are going to used the funds to spread the gospel of the Lord according to my request. This said funds is purely for charrity work. i want to tell you that our Lord work in a mericulous way. And it is not very easy to trust people now as regards to fund that i am about to leave in your care for charrity work.
>You are not coming to abidjan(Cote d' Ivoire) to sign any document i want you to understand that all i want is to used the funds for the work of God.
>
>As i stated in my mail, my Attorney will give you the details about the security company immedaitely all formalities is been done by my Attorney.
>
>My Attorney will be responsible for the change of ownership to your name and also obtain the power of attorney so that the fund can get to you and he will also obtain all neccessary document from the ministry of justice in your name. I am begging you in the name of the Lord to please use the funds as instructed by me. I will not be happy with you if the money is not used as instructed.
>As a matter of urgency you should send to me the following items
>
>
>1)YOUR FULL NAMES
>2)YOUR COMPANY OR HOME ADDRESS IF ANY
>
>3)YOUR TELEPHONE/FAX NUMBER
>
>This will enable my Attorney to open a file in your name as a change of ownership and next of kin(Beneficiary) to the said funds with the security company immediately. May God bless you for your concern and willingness. Get back to me asap.
>
>Yours in Christ
>Mrs Fatou Dangogo.
>
>Note that as soon as your information reaches me, i will forward it to the Director of the Security Company through my Attorney in order for him to start proceedures at which the money can get to you in your country of residence.
>
>

What a name, yikes!

Dear Mrs Fatty Dong,

I am a serious businessman. There is a lot of fraud going on, as you know. There is only ONE way that I will do business with you, and I will explain.
My company is a high technology research company, and we made over 18 million dollars profit last fiscal year. We are always interested in Foreign Investment.
In order for me and my company's Investment Committee to do business with you, it is imperative that we establish TRUST. Therefore we require that you send us a copy of your passport or other identification. As you know, these things are easily forged, so we have one more requirement. We need you to send us a photo of yourself holding a sign with my company slogan "HUGH G RECTION FOR MY COLON." This sign must be LARGE, CLEAR, and EASY TO READ. This slogan can be utilized as our secret password in our business dealings. A photo like this would be practically impossible to fake, therefore it would enable my company to trust you. This requirement is NON NEGOTIABLE.
If you are able to satisfy this requirement, we can do business.

Yours in Jesus H. Christ,

Reverend Dr. Hugh G. Rection, CEO
NY Gastroentereological Group
Lay Reverend of the Church of the Utterly Indifferent
Fighting colon cancer, saving lives.
"Hugh G Rection for MY colon!"

I guess I'm impatient lately. Sometimes the direct approach works, and sometimes a lot of foreplay is needed...

>From: Fatou Dangogo <[email protected]>
>To: "Dr Hugh G. Rection" <>
>Subject: IN LORDSHIP
>Date: Wed, 19 May 2004 20:11:15 -0700 (PDT)
>
>Dear Dr Hugh G. Rection,
>Thanks for your response, please be informed that i am the one that proposed this business to you and i should be asking for your pic to enable me know you and trust you intoto. So if you are interested, please send me your pic holding a piece of paper boldly written my name. Also be informed that this money is main for God work and not for your company. So i doubt if i can take any pic now because my doctor warned me to stay clear from taking pic because of my situation and finally, you may call this business but to me it is not business because i am not benefiting from it. thanks and email me back soon.
>Mrs Fatou Dangogo.

Oh yeah?!! Bitch!

Dear Fatso,
You are wasting my time.
I am now ceasing communication, as I said, my company requirements are NON NEGOTIABLE. If you had any intelligence, you would know what that means. Now, be gone, and may Satan pay attention to your intestines.
Hugh

I wonder if the beeyatch will write back? Wink