HALLELUJAGOBBLE! Seamugu's tattoo, safari & arrest!

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Posted: Tue Oct 03, 2006 9:06 am

Is that porn videos in front of him?!?! Shocked

Posted: Tue Oct 03, 2006 11:24 am

/\/\ The first thing I thought, I'm afraid Embarassed

, but no I think its all music - I can read Al Green & Will Smith, but no sign of 'Mugu Drillers', or 'Goat Busters' ( Laughing

just thought of that! Laughing

)!

Anyway, Austine has sent me a picture of the finished article, the Church is very proud of his monster tattoo, the picture will be sent to future inductees to show them how it SHOULD be done.

It sounds like he's selling up, so he should be able to afford to get to Ghana to catch his boat. Later I will look for a good ship photo, so he knows what to look out for. Maybe I should send him a picture of the notorious SS Risky Free.

Quote:

DEAR BROTHER ROY,
I did it this way because of the fact that am the first to represent the church in my country moreover i assure the whole members of the FUNDALIGI0N church that my being a member will never be a regret to the church,
Am @ xxxxxxxxxxxx,xxxxx in Anambra state,NIGERIA
coming to think of travelling,am ready any moment but brother i thought i have to cover my expenses first before travelling besides i committed my properties to some people that lend me some money for the whole expenses,look forward to hear from you as soon as possible

HALLELUJAGOBBLE

Austine

PS I just measured on a map, his home town is 500 miles from Accra as the crow flies, and he won't be going by crow. Twisted Evil

.

Do you think I should leave Austine alone now? Hmm - thought you'd say that.

Posted: Tue Oct 03, 2006 11:28 am

He's a good lad.
You must be very proud of him. Laughing

Posted: Tue Oct 03, 2006 11:40 am

Very, Breddan. I have a crush on your avatar, BTW.

A quick Google found me the Church of Scientology's flagship. Yoink!

419Eater is my life Joined: 21 Aug 2005 Posts: 381

Roycropper wrote:

It sounds like he's selling up, so he should be able to afford to get to Ghana to catch his boat. Later I will look for a good ship photo, so he knows what to look out for. Maybe I should send him a picture of the notorious SS Risky Free.

Dont lads need to smell money to move their lazy asses? You could send him pictures of the risky free and a very expensive ship and tell him the risky free will bring him to the other ship for security reasons best known to the church.

I can imagine the lad going to every crappy ship there "HALLELUJAGOBBLE oooo!!! na you dey FUNDALIGI0N????"

Posted: Tue Oct 03, 2006 12:08 pm

See if he is willing to send you the Al Green CD. The man is a reverend after all.

Posted: Tue Oct 03, 2006 12:36 pm

/\/\ You learn something every day, HJF. If just been reading about the Rev. Al's Tabernacle.

I reckon the Church's luxury liner, MV Freekowtski, will be too big to dock in port, so yes, I will have him look for the SS Risky Free (do you think I can get away with calling it that? If not, I'm up for suggestions), pictured below.
(YW, you dont mind, do you?) The MV Freekowtski will be lurking just over the horizon.

An unfortunate complication for him is that while there is a traditional port in Accra, there is now a modern port at Tema, 18 miles away. I wonder what are the chances he will go to the wrong port?

Posted: Tue Oct 03, 2006 1:16 pm

^^^^ hahaha....the "Please, I never want to go an ship again in my life" ship!!!! Laughing

Posted: Tue Oct 03, 2006 2:10 pm

HAHAHAHAHA. The last time I saw that boat, it was having some problems.

Posted: Tue Oct 03, 2006 3:24 pm

I'd best not show him that, he has an appointment with her...

Quote:

Dear Austine,

Father Phineas and I want you to know that the Church is very proud of
you, that is the biggest membership tattoo any member has had. That
shows extra faith and commitment on your part.

If you are ready to travel, can you be in Accra by the weekend? I know
it is not near to where you live, but the MV 'Freekowtski' is
scheduled to be in the Gulf of Guinea this weekend. That is the large
white ship in the picture, it travels the oceans of the World doing
God's and the Church's work. For reasons of size and politics, it
cannot enter the harbour at Accra. For that reason you need to find
the smaller blue ship, the 'Riskyfree' which will be tied up at the
harbour. Ask to talk to the Captain, and show him your tattoo. He will
take you out to the big ship.

You wont need to take any money, or luggage with you, though you can
bring some if you want. The boat will only stay as long as it takes to
pick up out new recruits, if the Captain thinks you are not coming, he
WILL leave without you.

Whilst I am here in Weatherfield, the Church does have a Ghana
representative at our Mission in Wechiau, Wa, Father Hugh Jorgens. If
you need to reach him, his email is [email protected].

Hallelujagobble!

Brother Roy,

Must go, Seamugu #1 wants his baptism instructions, having just sent in the 10 page visa form (which I wont bore you with) and a fresh ladette is interested in being Seamugu #3!

Hallelujagobble!

Posted: Tue Oct 03, 2006 3:53 pm

Btw I think that IS porn on the left side of the pic. There's a definite naked boob in there.

419Eater is my life Joined: 21 Aug 2005 Posts: 381

Roycropper wrote:

I reckon the Church's luxury liner, MV Freekowtski, will be too big to dock in port, so yes, I will have him look for the SS Risky Free (do you think I can get away with calling it that? If not, I'm up for suggestions), pictured below.
(YW, you dont mind, do you?) The MV Freekowtski will be lurking just over the horizon.

If you use the MV Freekowtski you would have to pay taxes, high fees and high bribes to the officials. So the good ship stays away a few miles and the risky free is used to avoid high costs.
Every lad should understand that.

And, yes, please call it risky free.

Posted: Tue Oct 03, 2006 4:11 pm

/\/\/\ Youve got good porn spotting eyes, my friend. There may well be shenannegans going on on that bottom shelf! Just went into my inbox, theres a problem, but it could make it better - stupid lad forgot to mention he has no passport! How shall we smuggle him? (Keep it real!)

I could just send the Riskyfree to Lagos, its still over 220 miles from where he lives in Onitsha, worth another pith 'at! I suppose he wants me to find him a bus route. Rolling Eyes

Quote:

the idea of my coming to ghana will be very difficult,cos 1 i dont have international passport and i also dont have money.honestly brother am more fraustrated now than b/4 so why dont you give another idea over this as soon as possible

Hallelujagobble!

OK then, half a safari is better than no safari at all...

Quote:

Dear Austine,

I spoke to the Captain of the Riskyfree, he can get into Lagos harbour
at the weekend, there is a high tide at 04:32 am and 16:53 pm
Saturday. He can get in in the morning, but must leave on the high
tide on the Saturday afternoon.

Take the photo I sent you of the Riskyfree, so you know which ship you
are looking for.

He will be tied up at the jetty during the day, as he is not familair
with Lagos harbour, he does not know where he will be berthed until he
gets there. If you give me your mobile number I will pass it to the
Captain.

He can then take you to the MV Freekowtski, the Journey will take
about 2 1/2 to 3 hours.

I understand that there is a bus service from your town to Lagos. I
know it is a long way, but it is nearer than Ghana!

I will make arrangements for you to stay in England once you are on your way.

Hallelujagobble!

Brother Roy

What could possibly go wrong? Very Happy

Posted: Tue Oct 03, 2006 9:01 pm

I was under the impression they didn't need full fledged passports to travel between west african countries? I could be wrong though but a previous lad told me something to that effect.

As for smuggling, he could always pull the old "crate and ship himself" cartoon stunt.

Posted: Tue Oct 03, 2006 9:15 pm

How much is he suppose to get out of this ? Laughing

Posted: Tue Oct 03, 2006 10:08 pm

Excellent stuff!

Posted: Tue Oct 03, 2006 10:28 pm

Roycropper wrote:

How shall we smuggle him? (Keep it real!)

In a trunk box of course... Wink

Posted: Wed Oct 04, 2006 1:30 am

Roy, I love this bait. I just want to imagine your lad walking up to ships, showing his tattoo and asking if he can now board.

Even though you told him to bring nothing but himself, I really think he should be made to carry a large piece of chipboard. This will be his 'board of atonement' - He will construct his trunk box out of this. Then all his old worldly possessions will be locked into this box and thrown into the sea.

He could also be smuggled in this box. Duel purpose, killing 2 birds with 1 stone thingo
...

Master Baiter Joined: 13 Jul 2005 Posts: 186 Location: GA

Btw, the Risky Free is my computer wallpaper at work.

So when I say "Ghaaa! Enough!" at whatever project I'm sick of and minimize it to the task bar, I get an instant smile!

On topic:

So the standard method of getting a tattoo there is to A) draw with a marker on the skin, B) pull out whatever pocket or exacto knife is handy, C) cut crudely along the magic marker lines, D) smear ink all over the cut areas, and E) rub it into the wounds?

Dang, stitching it in would be less painful, one would think!

Posted: Wed Oct 04, 2006 8:25 am

ouch !
i dont think i`ll ever get bored of the tat modality

Posted: Wed Oct 04, 2006 9:22 am

@ Dart, oh yes, that the traditional method, no girly needle guns, ask these boys:

Boatofucket removed most pics of these lads, mostly because of the lad todgers involved. You had to be naked in those days to join Fundaligion, and the witnesses wore red pants. I may revive that tradition.

Austine thinks he is getting out of this a UK visa as an Offshore Citizen, and some relocation expenses, he is to train as a priest, but probably thinks he'll do a runner as soon as he arrives in the UK.

He's on his way to Lagos to find the Riskyfree. I hope the Captain's mobile works OK there, as Lagos harbour is a big place to find a small ship like the Riskyfree.

Quote:

Dear brother Roy,
I think am very much ok now but a little thing is confusing me when riskyfree arrive @ lagos which particular ocean will he anchor or is it maybe through mobile calling he will let me know,all the same he can call me with this number{xxxxxxx or yyyyyyyy}thats if he enter Nigeria but if he`s from outside he will use(+234xxxxxxx or +234yyyyyy)so brother i will be in lagos on friday against saturday.still look forward to hear from you b4 then.

HalleluJagobble

Austine

If anyone who is free on Saturday, with the technology to either ring Nigeria or receive frantic lad calls, and record the results, wants to play the Captain (and talk like a pirate!), pm me for details. You could be rather drunk and not quite sure 'which particular ocean' you are anchored on. Laughing

Posted: Wed Oct 04, 2006 9:27 am

I hadn't noticed before when that pic was first posted, but why does the guy on the right have stains on his jocks?

Posted: Wed Oct 04, 2006 9:52 am

/\/\/\ I think he's worried he's next! Peter turned out to be the Oga, I think, as he turned out to be the one with the (old) Mercedes, he put a lot of miles on it chasing his payment in 'nearly three states'. The one being tattooed later became 'Christ on a Bike'.

Meanwhile, Austine clearly is getting ideas above his station, I just found this in Father Hugh Jorgens' mailbox:

Quote:

DEAR FATHER JORGENS
AM BROTHER AUSTINE,THE NEW NIGERIAN CHURCH REPRESENTATIVE FATHER PHINEAS AND BROTHER ROY ASKED ME TO COME OVER TO GHANA THIS WEEK END FOR THE ENTRANCE OF THE WHITE SHIP TRAVELLING TO UK BUT THE PROBLEM IS THAT I DONT HAVE INTERNATIONAL PASSPORT AND I ALSO DONT HAVE ANY MONEY WITH ME.PLEASE FATHER CAN YOU HELP ME IN THIS PROBLEM.REPLY AS SOON AS POSSIBLE

HALLELUJAGOBBLE
AUSTINE

Posted: Wed Oct 04, 2006 11:51 am

More and more branded lads! Well done Laughing

Posted: Wed Oct 04, 2006 4:50 pm

Captain Homer J Fong will be manning the Riskyfree's satellite 'phone on Saturday.

I hope he's sober! Laughing

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