Lad safari to Ghana, update - YOU'RE NICKED!

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Posted: Fri Jun 02, 2006 11:15 am

Quote:

Dear Brother Kinsley,

Thankyou very much for your pictures. I emailed them to Father Phineas
in the UK. I am afriad to say that he has rejected your application
yet again, I am very sorry. The Church Elders, as I explained in my
earlier email, have YEARS of experience of looking at tattoo
photgraphs, and are very sceptical of attempted forgery. They realise
that not everyone has the commitment to mark themselves permanently.

I attach a picture of a fresh tattoo (not a member of our Church, I
hasten to add, those pictures are Confidential, like yours, and will
never be seen outside this Church). See how there is swelling and
redness?

One of the Elders asked this: "Did he send other pictures? The one
close up does not look like the actual tattoo. It looks like the ink
on the skin that the artist will trace off of."

Another said "Let him know that step 1 is done....he's found someone
who can do the art. Now, all he needs to do is get the actual tattoo."

Also "Look at the picture with the round paper, the lettering is backwards,
reading from right to left .. t is even smudged in a few places. I
think this applicant owes you a good explanation as to what type of
tattoo he got, and where he got it. See
if you can get him to send you a picture of the tattoo parlor .."

I'll tell you what, Kisley, if you and Brother Alex can get over to
see me at our mission in Ghana, I have a tattoo needle gun here (and
35 years of experience) so that the baptism can be done properly. I
can't travel, I am not allowed to leave the orphans.

I have the $54,000 cash to cover the Standard Foundation Grant in the
safe here, I could even give you some expenses to get home again.
Communication is difficult here, to check my email I have to get a
lift into Wa on a lorry to use the internet cafe. My mobile does not
get any signal at all. Please bear with me, I will try to check my
email here every day.

Hallelujagobble!
Brother Roy,

--
The Church of Fundaligion,
Wechiau Community,
Wa,
Upper West Region,
Ghana

There are 3 transport options available:
1. Your own private vehicle.
2. Chartering a vehicle from Wa
3. Public Lorry to Wechiau and bicycle rental to the
orphanage or Wechiau lorry to the orphanage (Return next day)

From Wa (46 km) Take the road past the Uplands Hotel to Vieri (a
T-intersection) and turn right. Continue to Tanvaare (also a
T-intersection) and turn left. The next village will be Wechiau, where
you will find our Mission in the village square.

This was a reply to my email rejecting his second attempt at conning me with a fake tattoo (see http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=76883 ). I have already had many photo trophies from Brother Kinsley, he was the fat mugu in pink underpants, when I got him to perform an excorcism. He told me that if the photos weren't acceptable, he was prepared to travel for his baptism. OK then.

Quote:

Dear Brother Roy.
I am very happy to resiveed your message with a tears of joy .Brother you are a man of truth i have ever seen,we are comeing to GHANA on monday or tuesday.
Please wait to see to us in GHANA , and again we need the proper address of the place, and your contact phone number,so that we can meet with you .

Thanks.
Brother Kinsley
Hallelujagobble!

Joy of joys! If the directions look beleivable, that's because they are directions to a real hippopotamus sanctuary. Very Happy

Anyone care to have a stab at the mileage to Wechiau from Lagos? If this goes off, I'll go and check my crash helmet to see what size pith hat I need.

Posted: Fri Jun 02, 2006 1:08 pm

Good luck Roy. It sounds like you are going to be wearing a pith helmet soon.

Posted: Mon Jun 05, 2006 9:21 am

Oh yes, come to Daddy! (Well, the Hippo sanctuary where Daddy is pretending to be). Laughing

Ive told him I have to travel on a lorry to a distant internet cafe to get my emails (the Orphange is out in the bush, with no mains eletricity or 'phone communications), so they need to keep emailing, so I can be in the village to meet them and take them to the orphanage - what could possibly go wrong? Twisted Evil

This is one hell of a journey by road Very Happy

, I could do with some way of working out the mileage. In a dead straight line it's 800 miles, and their line is anything but. SE corner of Nigeria (all my dumbest lads come from Owerri, for some reason) to NW corner of Ghana. There seems to be Togo, Benin and some very big lakes in the way.

Quote:

Dear Bro Roy
We are on the way now,remember Nigeria to Ghana is a very long journey.we are using public transport (on road )pls try and wait for us and be alert.we will be mailing you at time to time.pls this journey will take us three to four days to reach where you are,because we are coming from a far part of Nigeria (eastern side)so the journey will be far.the shortest way of coming there is through Lagos to Lome and Lome to Ghana.so try and wait for us.we have no money to come back to Nigeria if we come there so try and wait for us please.

They're coming by public transport! Shocked

. We were on the midnight bus on Saturday, and I somehow think they will be on even scarier transport. I like the idea of them on the public lorry.

There's a removal truck icon somewhere for permanent safaris, isn't there?

Posted: Mon Jun 05, 2006 9:29 am

Oh my another "end of the rainbow" is in a remote area of Africa Laughing

Posted: Mon Jun 05, 2006 9:39 am

I told them to bring a trunkbox or a strong briefcase, I don't want them going home with $50K+ cash in a shopping bag. Very Happy

If you have seen Kinsley in the earlier threads wearing his pink underpants, you will see why a hippo sanctuary is an appropriate place for him Very Happy

.

Posted: Mon Jun 05, 2006 11:12 am

I have recent photographs of Wa and spent a day there last year, the cyber cafe in the town centre for example was closed a couple of years back and a new one was built but wasnt operating this time last year due to telecoms problems, probably now sorted. I think I have a photo of it. Email me via the Kilsyth International Carnival website if you need any photos or tips,

Posted: Mon Jun 05, 2006 12:35 pm

No money to come back? BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA Laughing

Posted: Mon Jun 05, 2006 12:44 pm

@ UBP Thought you'd like that, perhaps I could get the Wechiau Police to look out for two notorious vagrants from Nigeria. Laughing

@Dr SF, I hope they don't find out the Wa internet cafe has no service, that's where I'm emailing them from! What are the roads and conditions like out there?

I just measured the straight line distance from Owerri, it's nearly 800 miles! If they tell me their route, I guess I could use a piece of string to measure the distance on my Atlas.

Quote:

Dear Kinsley,

I just got to the internet cafe after a long ride, your email made me
happy for the day. Please update me with your progress, every time you
are somewhere with an inetrnet cafe, then I know which day to meet you
on. As I can only get on line when I visit here, The more often you
can email, the more up to date my information will be.

I shall get the housekeeper to make a room ready for you. When you
return you should be able to fly from Wa to Accra, then on to home.

Hallelujagobble!

Brother Roy

The Church of Fundaligi0n
Wechiau Community,
Wa,
Upper West Region,
Ghana

Posted: Mon Jun 05, 2006 4:55 pm

http://www.paperclip.org.uk/Ghana/Wa.pdf

A fair selection of shots of the dirt road from Tumu to Wa, the flea bitten palace of the former Wa Naa, the main Mosque, various street scenes and the bus station, gives an impression of the squalor and poverty of this very remote rural area, also some useful place names and street names etc to add authenticity to any search.
http://www.paperclip.org.uk/Ghana/Wa.pdf

Posted: Mon Jun 05, 2006 5:07 pm

Cheers Dr Flake, it looks a suitably squalid place to relocate my lads to. And this is going to be 'civilisation' to them, the last place with (hopefully) an internet cafe before they go off into the countryside to find their pot of gold.

They may well return here after not meeting Brother Roy, it's a long hitchike home , boys. Razz

I'm hoping a large hippo will take a shine to our lads, Kinsley looks their type. Shocked

OMG, 6 posts to go before I'm supposed to find something 'special'!

Posted: Tue Jun 06, 2006 7:51 pm

No news from the lads, hopefully they're bumping along on the back of a truck or on a bus right now. How common are internet cafes out in rural West Africa?

I reckon they'll go West along the coast through Lagos, then Benin, Togo and Accra, then North, but we'll see.

Posted: Tue Jun 06, 2006 7:57 pm

Internet cafes are as frequent as the rock piles marking where fatal crashes have happened along the Sagbama Highway Razz

Posted: Tue Jun 06, 2006 8:05 pm

Besides the numbers of Internet Cafes, I also wonder about the number of cell phones that have cameras built in to them over there in West Africa. It would be sweet to get photos while on the road from these guys.

Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2006 12:51 pm

My 1000th post, and my lads have wonderful news for me! happy crowd

Quote:

Dear Roy
please we are in Ghana Wa,and infact we are totaly stranded Laughing

so please kindly reply this mail and direct us inmedeatily,we have gone to where you directed us and we did not see you.

Time to send them back to Wechiau from Wa, get back on the lorry lads. You should have warned me that you were nealrly there, I'd have baked a cake, or at least been there to meet you. Lets see how many times I can get you back out to Wechiau (96km round trip from where they are now). I hope we don't miss each other again. Very Happy

IP address now comes up as AFRInic. Does that mean a sattelite link?

Must go, these guys are taking me off to a 1000th post party...

Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2006 1:06 pm

First, congrats on your 1000th post Mr. Elite Baiter.

Second, congrats on what looks like your first safari. Have fun at the party.

Finally, if you want to post the full header, I am sure that someone can sort out exactly where these turds are.

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 Mar 2006 Posts: 7103 Location: Yes

Beauty Roy!! If only you had sent them into the Sahara.... Laughing

Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2006 1:48 pm

Roycropper...if it's any help... I have crossed from Togo into both Benin and Ghana.
It takes about 1.5 hours to cross Togo from the Benin border to Lome. The road is reasonably good but prone to potholes and the occasional stupid villager getting in the way. From Benin border to Cotonou the road is similar, few straight stretches.

Lome to Accra, Ghana is a nightmare!
The road is 'Western standard' wide dual carriageway for about 15 miles East of Accra. Then the quality tarmac disappears and it's crap road surface/no road surface almost up to the Togolese border. I hit my head 4 times on the roof of the minivan such is the road surface, potholes galore, excursions into the bush - 20 mph is about as fast as you can go.

Cotonou - Togo Border ~ 1.5 hours
Across Togo ~ 1.5 hours
Accra - Lome ~ 5 hours

If your lads took a minibus taxi, they'd have been able to travel from Lagos to Ghana in one hop (though unlikely) either way with this transport, they'd have been crammed in like sardines. 17 of us in a 12 seat minivan!

If they took a 'private' taxi they would have change it at the border, walk through and pick another one on the other side. It is organised chaos and officialdom is verry slow in that part of the world.

They will have suffered immensely! Laughing

Cheers
A.

Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2006 2:15 pm

Wonderful! It sounds a nightmare, lets hope I can get some of their roadtrip stories before they are arrested as peniless vagrants....

Quote:

Boys,

Where on earth are you now? I told you to let me know when you were
coming, I would have been waiting in the square in Wechiau for you. It
distresses me to know that you have come all this way, and we still
have not met. As I have said before, I can only get on the internet
after a long trip - I will not be here until tommorrow to read your
reply.

Which internet cafe are you using? What route did you come, what
transport did you use?

What happened when you got to the Village? Who did you speak to? Where
are you staying now? If you tell the Police in Wechiau that you are
temporarily stranded with no money, I have asked them to take care of
you until I arrive.

So many questions I have for you.

Brother Roy

I got a bit Yoda in that last bit Very Happy

I know that the Police in Wechiau are innocent 3rd parties and all that, but I thought they might want to know that there are a couple of skint lads on their patch, probably for some time....

I'm going to try not to burn them, so we can get some more emails out of them about life stranded in a far off place. Laughing

Baiting Guru Joined: 08 Feb 2005 Posts: 2301

This is funny. Very Happy

Great job!

Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2006 2:29 pm

I would not worry at all about the third party thing Roy. That ideal is taken way too far sometimes. The third party rule is supposed to mean that you don't put into harms way any third parties. What harm have you put the police into? None. No more than anyone else tha lads ran into while in their journey.

Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2006 3:00 pm

Don't worry, I wasn't going to lose sleep over it Very Happy

If I can persuade a couple of 419'ers to turn themselves in as vagrants, I think it's a public spirited thing to do.

If the lads give my email addy to the police as backup to their story, I can always reply by sending the police a copy of their original 419 format which they sent me.

Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2006 3:02 pm

^^^^
That would be awesome. IMHO, an arreest for 419 is like finding the Holy Grail.

Baiting Guru Joined: 04 Jan 2006 Posts: 3193

Try the IP address at http://www.afrinic.net/. There is often more information to be had there.

Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2006 5:27 pm

I tried all the searches on the IP, 196.200.121.15 it is shall we say inconlusive - First attempt I crapped when it gave me this:

Quote:

Accelon Nigeria Limited

Then I noticed this line:

Quote:

org-name: Accelon
country: NG GH BJ TG TD CM NE BF ML
org-type: LIR

A bit more research, and I got this from the Daily Sun, via Google:

Quote:

Accelon, the company Quist manages its operations in Ghana and the entire West Africa sub-region, except Nigeria, where, though he is still a director of the country�s operations, was adjudged the fastest growing Internet Access Company in Africa, in 2004. The company has also deployed over 1,000 sites in West Africa.
To date, we have sites inside of Ghana and Nigeria, in Benin, Mali, Senegal, and we are hopeful that we would have a site in Niger, soon. Accelon offers satellite footprints from roughly Senegal to DRC, at charges that are reasonable. The Nigerian operations take care of the Nigerian market, while the Ghana operations cover Ghana and the entire ECOWAS region, except Nigeria. However, our network-operating centre is in Nigeria. The technical support team in Nigeria supports all of West Africa.

Never straightforward is it? Their original IP beofre they set off was 62.56.147.4 which put them in Owerri, where they said they were.

I think it's a bit like resolving an IP to Israel - no help telling you where your lad actually is.

If they weren't stuck in Wa, they wouldn't be bleating about not meeting me with mucho $$$.

Posted: Thu Jun 08, 2006 5:34 pm

I'd say it's 99% that this is a real safari. There is a lot of circumstancial evidence that supports it.

Perhaps you can get a scanned receipt of some kind if you are still unsure about this.

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