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 Ahizi, my love...

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mrsbean
Elite Baiter


Joined: 06 Oct 2004
Posts: 1775
Location: North of the Rio Grande, South of Alaska


PostPosted: Fri Sep 23, 2005 6:26 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

My first real love scam, I’m soooo proud. (That I didn’t puke.)

Our love got off to a somewhat rocky start. His approach letter was in French, which I barely understand a word of. Ahizi sent me this lovely missive.

Quote:
Salut

Je suis un jeune garçon de 20 ans qui a besoin d'aide,je vous emmene
ce courrier avec l'espoir d'avoir une suitte fovorable .Je suis Ahizi
Maxime ivoirien, ,je suis issue d'une famille laique c'est à dire mon
est musulman,ma mere chretienne, J'ai perdu mon pere à mon age
infantil alors ma mere s'occupait de moi et elle est tombée gravement
malade . puis en 2003 j'ai perdu ma mere a la suite de sa maladie ,le
seule espoir de ma vie vient de me quitter . Puisse que ma mere n'est
plus je vais a la rencontre de mes parents paternel eux de leur coté
me repousse parce que mon pere n'a pas fait le mariage musulman.puisse
que mon pere n'a pas suivi les rituels islamiques donc je n'était pas
reconnu pas la famile de mon pere.
Je ne veux pas me donner la vie que mène certains jeunes
africains(drogue'acool,etc)parce qu'ils sont deçus de la vie qu'ils
mènent c'est pour cette raison je vous ecris pour que vous m'aidiez
dans ma vie .Car je ne poursuis plus mes études par manque de moyens.
C'est avec grand espoir que j'attends votre reponse.
Que *Dieu vous benisse.



But not to be deterred, Trina looked deep into the miles separating them and said, tenderly…

Quote:
Huh? Speak English.


Wondrously, the lad didst discover Babelfish.

Quote:
YES I SPEAK ENGLISH


And the capslock key, but that is a story for another time.

Trina is a very forward girl.

Quote:
Then do it. I didn't understand any of your other message.

Trina


Funny, even though I don’t speak passable French at all, I am able to spot that Ahizi has suddenly become 3 years younger in this letter…

Quote:
Hello ,
I am a 17-year-old young man who needs help(assistant), I emmene you this mail(courier) with the hope to have a suitte fovorable .Je am Ivory Coast Ahizi Maxime, I arise from a laique family that is my is Moslem, my mere chretienne, I have Lost my pere in my age infantil then my mere took charge of me and she seriously fell ill.

Then in 2003 I lost my mere has the continuation(suite) of its disease, only one(only) hope of my life has just left me. Is possible that my mere is not any more I go has the meeting of my relatives(parents) paternel they of their quoted(esteemed) pushes away(repels) me because my pere did not make the marriage I do not want to give myself the life that lead certain African young people (drug acool, etc.) because they are deçus of the life whom(that) they lead it is for that reason I ecris you so that you helped me in my life to .

Car I do not pursue any more my studies due to the lack of means.
It is with big hope that I wait for your reponse.
That GOD BLESS you .


That is some crap Babelfishing. Still, the course of true love ne’er did run smooth, so I make him an offer he can’t refuse.

Quote:
If you agree to be my f*&$-buddy, I'll see if I can get you a student visa.

Trina


Ahizi bends to Trina’s sweet nothings, apparently.

Quote:
Hello my guardian angel,
offered I re-write you to know if you received my last message because I wait for impatiament the reponse because I have it has a good laugh of this life which I lead.
I thank you infinitely.
Aka Aman Ahizi Maxime


Yeah, that Babelfish is something else. I’m guessing he won’t get the subtle humor in this email.

Quote:
Yeah, I got it. Keep your knickers on. For now.

Trina


Now, Ahizi apparently makes some excuses here, but I’ll be buggered if I can figure out what they are, precisely. He thanks me for my comprehension, but I think he could have saved his fingers…

Quote:
Hello
my angel excuses I of this delay of the photo it is that the cyber or I work has ete to close because the invoice of the current does not have ete to pay of or too I is not ete to pay it is for that reason that the photo does not have ete to send as quickly as possible but it will be in your ownership at the latest Tuesday.
Thank you your comprehension

AHIZI MAXIME


I think the bridge is out and the car has no brakes, or something along that line. He can’t send the picture. I get that much.

Then for some unaccountable reason, he asks me in a separate message where I live, and says he will be “swamped with enjoyment” if I can indeed get him a visa. For you Monty Python fans, I suspect that is somewhat akin to having your nipples explode with delight…

Quote:
Hello,
it is with satisfaction that I received your message but indeed I would like that you are more explicit has comment of the fact that you have me to announce in your message and connaitre the country or you live because I need it of connaitre the place or my guardian angel lives.
Because I would like to accept all the conditions to go out of this life of poverty Because if you obtain visa etudiant for me I shall be really swamped with enjoyment.
Thank you in advance.
That the Lord you benisse.

Ahizi Maxime


I didn’t think it possible, but yes, he’s actually making less sense the longer he goes.

Trina’s only interested in one thing, though.

Quote:
You're really sucky at the English, but for what I want you to do, that won't make much difference. I'm in the United States. Send me a picture of you, so I can look you over and see if you're worth the bother.

Trina


Yes, you guessed it. A trophy.

Ahizi babbles… something about photos. I think.

Quote:
Hello,
I am very happy that you re-lay me but indeed I am alone to correspond with you however I would like that you explain to me on what I have to make so that I can take you my various photos and I would like that you to send me your photos my very dear guardian angel.
Thank you for everything


Boy thinks he’s going to get away with sending me some stolen pics off thenet, I bet.

Trina doesn’t ask much.
Quote:
I want to see you, sprawled out on your bed, naked, holding a sign with my name on it. My name is Trina. I want the sign to read "Hello Trina".

Trina


Geez, I mean, I don’t even ask him to hold anything stupid. I don’t think he would understand even if I tried to explain it to him, frankly.

Ahizi is not at all full of himself. Oh, no.

Quote:
Hello Trina,
offered I want to bring you my commes photos you have him to mean in your message but at the moment I have no means to make these photos because I surf in a cyber coffee of a type which makes me clean the cyber in exchanges of the hours which I use. Thus indeed I would like at first that you bring your photos so that I can admire my guardian angel and also you ask for a service I need a little money to make these photos so that to admire me to you of all my splandeur, because I have a size about 1mètre 75cm, I have a shape of mini mike tyson, and I have sex of 25cm and erection I is 35 cms.
I believe that I am given to you any information about my physical appearance and a precision I am a beautiful boy.
Thank you for everything.
Ahizi Maxime


So, to sum up, Ahizi surfs in a giant cup of coffee, has very clean cyber sex, wants my picture and wants me to send him some money so he can take his photos. Or something like that. He’s apparently taking these photos in a “splandeur”, he’s shaped like a Mike Tyson action figure, which is strange, because he’s well over five feet tall, and he would have me believe he’s creeping up on 10 inches long. In the trouser snake area, flaccid, and nearly 14 inches when erect. Ha ha, dream on, Ahizi. (And as a side note, why do men think length is impressive anyway? The average vaginal canal is in the four inch range, it only has real sensitivity two or three inches in, and I think most women would agree that trying to put 13 inches of penis into a four-inch vagina is not likely to produce ecstasy on the part of your bed partner. It’s more likely to make her produce the garden shears and take a few inches off of you for being an overgrown b*stard.. I don’t give a damn if you’re dragging the ground when you walk if I can only put four to five inches of it to use. Trust me, any woman with good sense is going to be more interested in diameter than whether or not you think you can tickle her tonsils during intercourse. Brag about girth, men, brag about girth! But I digress…)

Trina pulls no punches.

Quote:
My, aren't we full of ourselves? If you can't prove it with pictures, that all means nothing. Prove it with a picture or forget it. I could tell you I'm a purple elephant with green horns. Doesn't make it so. Let's see proof.


Isn’t this cute? We’re playing “No, you first… No… you first…”

Quote:
Thank you for your message as you said it I shall send my photo but to forget not that you have to bring me your photos.
Thank you.


Grateful, isn’t he?

Ahizi sends me a reply, but it’s a big, fat broken link with no picture at the other end.

Quote:
Nothing visible. Try again.


Um… yeah. You do that…

Quote:
Hello my guardian angel
I would like to know that you not to voyer not in on photo.
So I waits for impatiamment your photo
Ahizi maxim


I take a stab. A rough one.

Quote:
You didn't send me your photo either. There was nothing there. You first, remember?

Trina


Quote:
hello my guardian angel
here are my photo.I have hate to see you on a photo
THANK YOU


Whatever. He also includes this cute little photo.

Image


Happy looking, isn’t he?

But this is not what I asked for.

Quote:
Why are your boxers still on? And where's the sign with my name?



Ahizi makes a small attempt to actually respond sensibly.

Quote:
Hello my guardian angel,
I want to know or you want that I put the sign concerning your name which part of my body.
And so made I to reach your photo, I want to see you.
Thank you


Okay. Um… yeah.

Quote:
I want to see you, lying on your bed, naked, holding a sign reading "Hello Trina". Hold the sign in your left hand, and make sure I can see your face.

Trina


Ahizi’s modest. Or something. I’m not really sure. He seems to be stalling.

Quote:
hello my guardian angel
Excuse me much for what I will say you but I should be included/understood in measurement or I cannot send to my naked photograph to a person only I board not seen his because same if since the day or you have me ecrit, you hold me with heart and also I have agree to be your fucker. You will see me naked if and only if you want it. :
N.B is the rersultat you will remain for me an unforgettable object of nostalgia


Lessee, I’ve only asked for a naked picture, oh, a dozen or so times by now. Think I want one, Ahizi? Yeesh. I question his manhood.

Quote:
I told you, send me the naked picture so I can see if you're worth the trouble. If you're lying about what you look like naked, you can forget it. How am I supposed to know if I want you to be my fucker if you won't even drop your trousers and take the picture like I asked? I'm beginning to think you're ashamed of how small it is, or something.

Trina


Ahizi… well… he replies. I think.

Quote:
my angel I need to know has which I ammene my photograph naked.


Sorta. Trina is tired of this coy business.

Quote:
Send the fucking naked photograph already or stop wasting my time, you thick twat.

Trina


Ahizi suddenly goes all proud on me or something.

Quote:

HELLO MY ANGEL
It is true that acctuellement my happiness depend of you, as I am conscious as you can change my life and queje am also conscious of immense the etendue of your assistance of which I have besion. But any time it would be necessary that you a thing knows which I do not want this happiness at all costs because there is better for me to remain low in remaining worthy and proud of my person to be rich and without any dignity then if you want to help me do it in the contrary case knows that that fixed will not put fine A our friendship. I knew you without your assistance you became my friend without your assistance and you i YOU WILL REMAIN TO IT TOUJOUR
ON those I leave you while esperant to read you very soon
AHIZI MAXIME


Yeah, well, same to you, pal.

Quote:
Whatever. Send me the f*&%ing nude photo.

Trina


Ahizi finally gets it. Well, duh!

Quote:
OK,
me who believed to have to deal for one person wise person and intélligente, maybe pious. I indeed am to plant. You are only a sexual maniac, mazote furthermore. If I could, I shall already have you to sue sexual arcellement. Thank you for everything, God blesses you. Let us remain quite even friendly!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ahizi maxime


It gets ugly. Well, actually, it got ugly a lot earlier.

Quote:
Oh, YOU'RE professing your undying love like two emails in, and I'M a sexual maniac? You're the freak, boy. Bragging about your cock but not wililing to prove it. I still think you're lying. I bet your dick is all of a half-inch long, and that's why you're afraid to send me the picture. You're probably a pathetic, ugly little boy. Go lie about the size of your prick somewhere else where they might believe you.


Quote:
hello
my angel I have the impression that you same are afraid of your face. totot initially knows that I am a boy who a tap normal like all the others and I also I want to know if to help me as you says it are what you have need to see my tap has open sky my angel it should be known that in front of god it is not normal and also in my habit thus so veritablement you likes me finds to me a new condition qiu would be more suitable. aussitu will see it when you same you will want it. also what would say you of me envoiyer you also your naked photograph


What would I say? That you’re a fairly normal, typical guy? I mean, show me someone who doesn’t like naked photographs of someone sexually attractive to them, and I’ll show you someone in therapy.

Trina’s having none of it.

Quote:

hello
my angel


Stop calling me your angel. Anyone who won't even send me the picture that they promised me does not DESERVE to call me their angel.

I have the impression that you same are afraid of your face.

No, but I am not sending you one until you send one to me, you creepy little wanker. For you're a creepy little wanker, aren't you? Assuming you can find it.



totot initially knows that I am a boy who a tap normal like all the others and I also I want to know if to help me as you says it are what you have need to see my tap has open sky my angel it should be known that in front of god it is not normal and also in my habit thus so veritablement you likes me finds to me a new condition qiu would be more suitable. aussitu will see it when you same you will want it. also what would say you of me envoiyer you also your naked photograph


You are apparently fucking nuts. And impossible to understand. What part of "fuck off and don't write me any more unless you're willing to send a photo" am I not making clear? Fuck off unless you send the photo. It's quite simple. Get a small child to explain it to you. Or a monkey. I'm sure they would be about on your level.


Doesn’t this boy know when he’s been dumped? Apparently not.

Quote:
hello
my angel I must understand that you are afraid of me ammener your photo.mais I demmande only one thing because God to find to me a autr condition for my sending of my visa. THAT GOD BLESS YOU


The boy just cannot resist Trina’s feminine wiles. Or her visa-getting skills, more like.

So I decide to throw him a bone. After all, his subject was “I LOVE YOU MY ANGEL”.

Quote:
You know what? I'm going to send you a photo. One that shows you exactly how I feel about you...


And I sent him… you guessed it. bathing-lady. Funny, he hasn’t written me back since… I think the romance is gone.

_________________
Night of the Deaded Banks - 6 x United Kingdom United States Netherlands Spain Ivory Coast Mortar x26
I believe that you cannot get this type of opportunity again till you enter grave, you are such a bounch of stupid that I have never seen. - Jerry Gezi
Heaven help us, I've started publishing my baits in a blog... If you want to learn how to straight bait, thisaway...
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caramba
Not quite a Newb


Joined: 12 Jul 2005
Posts: 79
Location: Planet Earth


PostPosted: Fri Sep 23, 2005 7:59 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Hahahaha! Too funny, just what I needed after a boring day at work. Great stuff!
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mrsbean
Elite Baiter


Joined: 06 Oct 2004
Posts: 1775
Location: North of the Rio Grande, South of Alaska


PostPosted: Wed Oct 05, 2005 5:56 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Believe it or not, Ahizi attempted to rekindle things with me.

I get this rather unintelligible message (what else is new?) from him.

Quote:
hello
my angel I will like to know that are what that wants to say this photograph that you me sending all this that shows well you does not have anything in the belly but you one amateur sending me your photopour that I puissete to see and know has what my angel resembles and not to send this degenre kind to me photograph what I want it is you to fairesentir my sex in your she-cat. .
ahizi maximJoin Xkiss


Um... yeah.

And he sent me that three times.

I was not interested in getting back together.

Quote:
I sent you that photo because I think you're just like it. Full of shit.

_________________
Night of the Deaded Banks - 6 x United Kingdom United States Netherlands Spain Ivory Coast Mortar x26
I believe that you cannot get this type of opportunity again till you enter grave, you are such a bounch of stupid that I have never seen. - Jerry Gezi
Heaven help us, I've started publishing my baits in a blog... If you want to learn how to straight bait, thisaway...
Straightbait

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Nurse Nasty
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Joined: 31 Aug 2005
Posts: 7251
Location: Australia, where a dingo stole my eski


PostPosted: Fri Oct 07, 2005 5:07 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Thats great Mrs.Bean,

The love baits can be exciting, disgusting and just downright naughty. I have finished a love bait which I will be posting soon. I'm currently flogging the pictures here of my one true love.

FRANCIS AND HIS 'CORK'

This lad was keen to drop his pants for me. All I had to do was drop mine. I had to do some serious photochopping on some stuff, but he wasn't joking about the size of his manhood.

I'll keep my eye on this one. (the bait, not the willies)

NN

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Marvin
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Joined: 20 Aug 2005
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PostPosted: Fri Oct 07, 2005 10:02 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Well who would be willing to walk into a photgraphers studio drop his pants and get a 14" stiffy on in front of a total stranger (the photographer)?

But I think he got to say what he really wanted to .....
Quote:
what I want it is you to fairesentir my sex in your she-cat. .


Altavista says "faire sentir" is to "make feel" dang I could have sworn it was "stick" and I really don't have to re-translate she-cat do I? Rolling Eyes

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mrsbean
Elite Baiter


Joined: 06 Oct 2004
Posts: 1775
Location: North of the Rio Grande, South of Alaska


PostPosted: Fri Oct 07, 2005 9:48 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Marvin wrote:
Well who would be willing to walk into a photgraphers studio drop his pants and get a 14" stiffy on in front of a total stranger (the photographer)?


Professional models and porn stars? (And probably a good portion of the internet that I don't want to think about...)

Quote:

Altavista says "faire sentir" is to "make feel" dang I could have sworn it was "stick" and I really don't have to re-translate she-cat do I? Rolling Eyes


You know, I kept thinking "I wonder how much more dogged he would be if I sent him that picture of my breasts?" I was afraid to try it and see. Especially after he reacted that way to bathing-lady...

_________________
Night of the Deaded Banks - 6 x United Kingdom United States Netherlands Spain Ivory Coast Mortar x26
I believe that you cannot get this type of opportunity again till you enter grave, you are such a bounch of stupid that I have never seen. - Jerry Gezi
Heaven help us, I've started publishing my baits in a blog... If you want to learn how to straight bait, thisaway...
Straightbait

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Mark Time
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 13, 2005 5:30 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Damn! I love reading your baits! Especially the commentary! Who said replies to lad emails need to be long or detailed? Excellence in simplicity!

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sweety2006
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PostPosted: Tue May 16, 2006 10:47 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Hi guys
Please help me... I’m from Poland and I’m not very accustomed with the Internet.
I hear that I can make pretty easy money by being a video chat model.
Someone recommended me a website, [URL=http://www.li*e*f*r*h*t.com] Live Video Chat - Live for Chat [/URL]
He told me there are a lot of members because they have a full screen video chat and also the price is good.
I would like to create a chat host account there but I couldn’t manage to create one.
It keeps telling me I didn’t fill in all the required fields.

Mod Edit: Link mangled. We don't like spam here, thank you.
Evil or Very Mad [BB]
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PostPosted: Tue May 16, 2006 11:02 am Reply with quoteBack to top

^^^^^ Spam and necro Evil or Very Mad Evil or Very Mad

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Mr Fishe
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PostPosted: Tue May 16, 2006 11:18 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Click!

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