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Message |
Psychomillionaire
Hello I'm New here!
Joined: 24 Jan 2006
Posts: 18
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Posted:
Tue Mar 14, 2006 7:25 pm |
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Hi everyone
I used a version of Yea Whatevers letter (Many thanks) and hooked someone in Nigeria.I had a bit of fun but I think he began to cop on to me.Its pretty straight.With the "F" word used a lot by an editorial staff under pressure.Its not very funny and I didn't get any worthwile trophies but I did manage to keep him going for a while.I know that I worked too hard but I hope to streamline my input with practice.
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Steve
The boss is on the warpath if you don't have the story on my desk first
thing on tuesday morning I think he means it
when he says that he will sack you this time.Look man he has already advanced you 2000 bucks for this story and now
you are looking for another $1500.It had better be good.
I have sent the full amount by moneygram to
Equitorial Trust Bank
75, Warri/Sapele Road,
Warri, Delta State
Since I don't know what name you are using
The test question is :What is the worlds greatest newspaper?
Answer :The New York Times
Don't fuck this up man both our asses are on the line.
His memo to me is below
Cheers
Jerry
Internal memo
From J Jameson
To Jerry Rockford
Jerry.
You tell that asshole Steve Jones that if he thinks that
the New York Times is a bottomless pit of money only here
to fund his useless escapades then he has another thing
coming ie. a new fucking job.
This is the last time that I am funding his useless bloody
African photoshoots.Send him the damn money but this is the
last time.If he does not have me the story by this fucking
Tuesday he can row home in a fucking canoe.
JJ
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This chap adapted real fast
Quote: |
Hello Mr. Jerry,
I got your message,you have to stop the transfer now and listen to me.dont you ever reply any email from any person or email adress except for this.we are experiencing some sought of manipulation in our system.to avoid paying into wrong hands,stop the transfer and then use this information to make the payment.
Name: MR. ONWUEGBULE CHUKWUMA
location: NO.17 AVU STREET INENEGBU LAYOUT IMO STATE,NIGERIA
make the payment as I have told you,and one more thing Jerry,dont reply or listen to any emails from any other box and make sure you make the payment through western union not money gramm.make sure you stop the payment and resend the bills ok.bye
steve.
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Me
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Steve
What are you talking about man.Who the fuck is Mr Jerry?Stop pricking around.I am following Your instructions.You set up the bank.I have to go out of the office on a story right now and I can't change anything until Monday afternoon why do you want me to change it when you yourself said that this was the best way?Can you send me some of your pictures just to keep JJ of my back?
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Does every lad have to start at leastone email or conversation with "Just listen to me"
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hey,
just listen to me,this is not the time to start making delays or fool of our self.You really have to do this like i have told you today which is monday,and be fast about it.I wonder why you need my picture,I have been trying to do that since morning,but my scanner seems to have a litte problem and you find an excuse to keep jj waiting.you have to do this for me pls and be fast about it.I will be waiting for your reply as soon as possible.dont worry everything is in control and I aplolgise for the inconviniences.
pls make it today so that by tomorrow we will get of this ok.
steve.
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I started making things up.A bit daft I know but I will see where I can go with this
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Woah Tiger.
I do not need YOUR picture.I need your PICTURES!.PHOTOS!HELLO!!!!!!!!!!!Are you a photographer for the New York Times or not.You were the one that told JJ that you could get the photos of the White Rhino.
If your scanner is not working then go out and fucking buy another.Its $100 dollars to save your worthless fuckin ass.Now I am going to cancel the moneygram payment and change to western union but when I come back you better have something for me to give to JJ because I am not sticking my neck out for you again.And do not ever call me a fool again.This is not my job to look after your ass.
Your sub editor will be back on Thursday mabey I should just leave everything for him to clean up when he comes back.I am doing you a favour here pal by stalling JJ so don't you forget it.
Oh yea.I just realised that I deleted your western union details give them to me again. What is the problem with you changing all the arrangements that you made?
PHOTOS! WHITE RHINO!!!!! or you are dead and JJ will probably kill me just because I know you |
In the mean time someone else sent me a reply to the same email which I sent onto my work mate Steve
Quote: |
Steve.
Did you just send me this?
Hello Dear,
I don't be offended on my late submission, please kindly pay the remaining money to this account name and number.
ACCOUNT HOLDER'S NAME:NKECHINYERE GOODLUCK SUNDAY
A/C:1403010403900
BANK NAME: FIRST BANK OF NIGERIA
BRANCH: ENUGU
NAME OF A/L: SAVINGS
the amount of the money is $2000[TWO THOUSAND DOLLARS] send the bank details when the payment is made and the payment slip. |
It made him send his details again
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Hey jerry,
I did not send any sought of that to you,where did you get that from and how are you getting to know anyone like that.just dont reply anybody ok.the western union infomation for payment is as follows.
name: ONWUEGBULE CHUKWUMA
location: NO: 17 AVU STREET IKENEGBU OWERRI IMO STATE.
just be careful with the kind of emails you get.I am trying to get another scanner and make it look as if am stupid and lazy ok.I am trying my best .anyway thank you and keep it on i appreciate every thing.
steve
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I started to be nice.Well a little bit
Quote: |
Steve
Look man I am sorry for riding your ass yesterday but JJ was all over me like a rash and you know what he gets like.He has told me to stop the payment to you until he gets what he paid you for.I know that you are working undercover and its dangerous what you are doing but you went there for a reason and although JJ pisses me off at the best of times he does have a point.$2000 paid and nothing to show for it is a bit much.He was really angry that you didn't deliever what you promised and he dosen't want to be seen to be a fool.
I cannot send the money via western union because the accounts dept needs JJ's signature to authorise the payment but I have not cancelled the original payment that went to the Equitorial Trust Bank in Warri if you get down there it is waiting for you but I will have to cancel it in two more days to cover my ass with JJ.
To save anymore hassel just send me some sample photos for the story and I will talk to JJ
Later Dude
Jerry
Question. What is the worlds greatest newspaper?
Answer The new york times?
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This guy works in the field for the New York Times and he can't spell "working"?
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jerry,
i dont know what to say, but i advice you do just like i have said.if jj really needs this,he will pay.I cant be orking my ass off and taking risk which you its worth payng before I send it.
tell him everything is down and let him know i got everything as soon as he pays \i will send the picture immediately,no one is taking him for a fool.Any way you know what to do about the money you left in equitorial and know what to do about it.thanks men.later
steve
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Its amazing how I have started to lie with such ease since joining this forum.I am going straight to hell.
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Steve
I will tell him but you have to give me something to give him or he will chew my ass off again and it is easy for you to tell me from over there what to say but I have seen you bow down to that asshole as well.
Why are you causing this problem man?He paid you $50.000 for the Iraq story and this is even bigger.
We both know that everything will work out when he calms down but I am not getting in the middle of you two anymore because life is too short .I will go back to him if you can give me a taster of what to expect but if I go to him with nothing then he will fry my ass as well
Or better still take it up with him yourself. |
He kept quiet for a day so I gave him a nudge
Quote: |
Hey Steve
Have you been in contact with JJ cos he hasn't mentioned anything to me.
Jerry
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I think he has lost intrest but never fear my Boss is just back form Columbia doing the same thing Steve is but Steve just dose'nt know what he is doing yet.
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jerry,
if want to do something for me, just make him understand cos i have some
thing to settle out here and make him send the money to me now ,i have
things to take care of.pls
steve |
Jerry can't handle it anymore so he passes the shit to someone else
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Steve
This is now out of my hands.Tommy is back and I passed it onto him
Jerry |
I then sent this email to Tommy my boss so I could finally let Steve know what the hell he was doing trying to photo an almost extinct animial in Nigeria that probably dosent even come from there
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Hi Tommy,
Welcome back.I have got into a situation with Steve and JJ I am right in the middle and it is not even my job.
Steve Is on some job in Nigeria tracking some Drug Lord and the trail led him to Warri.Last week he told me that he had photos of the whole setup,the guy is growing some cannabis called white rhino and he was to send me the photos of the crop but this week he is acting weird.He was looking for money and changed the bank where it was to be sent and asked me to redirect the money.JJ stopped everything until he got the photos which still haven't arrived.Can you help?
The email address that steve is using at the moment is:
[email protected]
Jerry |
(If you want to drop him a line please don't mention Steve cos he might bite the hook again)
I then forwarded this message through tommys mail box so that he would see my email to Tommy
Now I am Tommy Jerrys boss
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Hi Steve
Its Tommy here.I just got back from Columbia and Jerry filled me in.I am back in charge here now.
Firstly screw JJ I will take care of him.Tell me how much you need to cover expenses and I will send it any way you want.
How are things progressing out there? Jerry says you have pictures of these drugs,the white rhino thing if so let me see what you have got.Can you get me Photos of the mister big?
Do you have drug shipping details?
Give me an idea because I might run part of this story in the next few days.
If you come up with the goods on this one I will give you an extra $10.000 bonus on top of your fee.
Tommy |
I might have got him back here
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Tommy,
I got all you said,but I need to let you know something,my ass is broke
here
and I need to settle out some bills on information which I got and my
scanner aint good I told this to jerry ,cos I need to get a new one.
All this I have to do with money ok. I got everything down ,the whole
picture ,tommy you really got to see this.But you see what the problems
came
to be and i need to get out of it.You know what,just send the money and
\i
will send the whole information like I promised ok.Am counting on you.
Steve |
Tommy takes charge
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Steve
I am on it man.How much do you need?
Tommy |
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Tommy,
$2000 only. jerry got the information which you will use to send the
money
through western union.
steve |
I thought I would see if I could get him to mail me the details for the third time so here goes
Quote: |
Steve
Jerry said that he got two sets of details but he deleted one set.He gave me this one.Pleas can you confirm them for me
NKECHINYERE GOODLUCK SUNDAY
A/C:1403010403900
BANK NAME: FIRST BANK OF NIGERIA
BRANCH: ENUGU
NAME OF A/L: SAVINGS
Thanks
Tommy |
Well it worked
Quote: |
Tommy,
I told jerry to make the payment through western union money
transfer,tommy
just make the payment with this information.its an easier form of
transfer
here in afrca.
Name: ONWUEGBULE CHUKWUMA
ADRESS: NO.17 AVU STREET IKENEGBU LAYOUT OWERRI, IMO STATE.
After which you send the MTCN NUMBER and information which you made the
payment to me in return.make this a fast one.
steve |
I try for any trophy and I am giving up now
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Ok so I will do that.Can you send me a rough draft of the story that you want to run with because I am going to run a taster in Mondays second edition
Tommy |
I may be pissing him off now cos he gets a bit stroppy
Quote: |
Tommy,
I dont understand you too,this is not meant to be this way but it
turned out
to be ,and I am trying to fix some shits over here.ok. I have all the
picture .
I have the mode of operations and how the work,the route.all this are
through the help of some other informants i hired.
I hve to make some payment and get the hail out of here.I will send
everything to you as soon as i get a scaner,i will send the pictures to
you
and brief on some story but for now let me settle some shits.Dont give
me
anther crap please.
steve |
Now hang on amoment here,In fairness I am Steves boss and he is not going to speak to me like this so I tell him.And what is an Anther ?
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Hey Steve.
Are you on something?Because I hope that you would know better than to talk to your boss like that .What does "Dont give me anther crap please" mean?
I am beginning to understand Jerrys doubts and JJ not wanting to have anything to do with you anymore.
What I do not understand is that we have paid you over $200,000 in the last year on quality stories with regular updates during the time we were investing money in you but so far all you have done is given excuses and very bad excuses at that,with no results to show that any work has been done.
We had a mode of working for the last three years which you have changed with no explanation at all.We sent the money to the bank you asked and when we informed you you then told us to to recall it and send by Westren Union.
You normally give us daily updates by email and these have stopped.Again with no explanation
Have you started gambling again?Are you smoking those drugs that you are supposed to be doing a story on.Like You say"I don't understand you too,this is not meant to be this way"and it is not meant to be this way but you changed the rules,you created the mess and you won't supply me with updates.
What would you do in my shoes?JJ will have to see the costings on all this eventually so here is what I will do.
You send me last weeks updates and I will send you all your expenses for next month my calculations work that out at $9500 I will send that to you as soon as you give something.Anything,otherwise I will pass this to JJ and you know what he is like.
Tommy
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Well he seems quite apologetic
Quote: |
ommy,
I apologies for apologies for that,am really very sorry .I just got a
lot
going on here right,I'm really needed some assisitance and attention
from
you right now. I had to change my mode of operation for some
reason,really
the bank is too far for me to go to as to get some money,if not I would
have
gone there to get it.
I'm already at the top of the story right now,I dont need to be far
from
this one so as not to lose it.I really need to get the pic of the big
man
and the crew,with the help of some guy that lives there,and i dont
really
want him to know am some sought of a reporter or spy,its not good. I
really
need to get closer and get this story and i really ned to figure out
something before i send the last week updates to you.tommy you know me
and I
have everything under control and would want you to trust me.nothing is
change ,just that the situation demands that,ok.
hey trust this is done.and just send me what I asked so that i can get
some
things settled and get this job done very well,please do me just this
favour
okay.Like I said I am sorry,I come from far to send this email to you,I
am
in a tight coner and need focus,You gonna love this one.Await your
email
immediately okay.
steve |
I tried to get him to write me something so I gave him some guidelines
Quote: |
Steve
Well you have me in a tight corner right now.Jerry showed me your expense sheet and it dosen't make sense.Never mind that for now,you don't seem to realise my position here I can send you the $9500 in as long as it takes me to go to the Western Union but JJ has to approve it.He may not like you but he listens to me and since you have given me nothing.No Photo,no story,no names,nothing!I have nothing to make him believe why he is to trust you.
Not only will he cut you loose but I will undermine the trust that he has for me.
Give me names.
Who is the boss?
Who is his second in command?
Who takes care of the money?
Who ships the drugs?
How do they ship them?By land,air or sea? How?
How many people are involved?
What is the address of the warehouse?
Have they got bank accounts?How many?Account numbers?Bank addresses?
Has the boss got a wife,grlfriend,both?Names?Children?Brothers;sisters?
Has the second guy got a wife ,children etc.Anything you have got give me.
The names of the politicians involved.How high up does it go?
The names of the people in the oil industry involved.
The names of the police involved.How high up?
The name of the US senator involved.
What off shore accounts do they use.
The Mugabe connection.
The Vatican connection
The Mafia connection.
The French connection
Give me names dates,places,shipments.I do not know why I even need to ask you for this information because this is all we expect.All that JJ wants.
You get me this information to take to JJ and he will know that we are both doing our jobs and he will be happy and authorise the transfare.You come up with these goods and I am sure that you will be able to name your price for this story.
Tommy
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I got JJ to fire him from his job and I might get jerry to bait him next week |
Last edited by Psychomillionaire on Fri Mar 24, 2006 1:27 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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BagJob
Hello I'm New here!
Joined: 19 Mar 2006
Posts: 5
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Posted:
Wed Mar 22, 2006 12:02 am |
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Some quite funny stuff in there man, keep it up. It's funny the way the mugu tries to copy your style of writing but ends up getting it wrong.
Quote: |
i will send the pictures to
you
and brief on some story but for now let me settle some shits.Dont give
me
anther crap please. |
As for the story, maybe you could try for a safari. Say that the reporter was supposed to be hiking through Africa following the drug runners and so you'd already sent the payment (and maybe a new scanner 'par avion') to the new destination. Take it slow with the story, try to get him to just confirm names at first "is Mr mugubu stilll the boss man?" then get him to come up with more of the details. |
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Psychomillionaire
Hello I'm New here!
Joined: 24 Jan 2006
Posts: 18
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Posted:
Fri Mar 24, 2006 1:25 pm |
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JJ sacked him because he would not give him a contact phone.He came begging to jj for his job back and JJ told him to go and F%$k himself He wouldnt send me anything and I suppose it was a bit much to try to get a lad who could hardly write in english to write an article for the NY Times.
I accidently signed the email with the wrong name and he went away never to be heard of again.
I accidently deleted the last three emails.
[email protected]
Please leave this poor lad alone |
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