"Blood for Blood" - Anne Vs. the Hitman (short one

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Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2008 8:37 am

Hi,

Got talking to a very chatty and pleasant (to begin with) hitman a couple of days ago. I see by bigstring.com he's still reading my emails but he's just not talking any more... Anyway, as usual it only gets amusing around the middle.

From the surplus emails:

Quote:

Hello,
How are you doing today?, I was paid
to assassinate you,but I felt it will be
right for me to inform you and hear
from you,before carrying out my
operations.
I honestly tell you that this contract
was given to me by a close business friend
of yours, with effect to your reading this
e-mail,note that you are not safe.
I will appreciate if you to act very fast
to this
mail or else I will be forced to carry
out my operation.
I have all your informations with me
now,as am talking to you.
If you feel contacting a security firm
or the police will make you safe,I want
to also inform you that it will not
stop me,it will rather make me to carry
out my operations very fast,so stay cool
and contact me for negotiations.Note that
I sent this email after keeping an eye on
You for over ten days,so you can see what
I meant by telling you that a security
firm can't save you.Just waiting to hear
from you,so I know if I can change my
mind under the grounds of negotiation,
and I think,after negotiation I will be
ready to inform you about who sent me.
I am a member of a well trained group
in the middle east,we take part in
Suicide bombing and special killings,
For top government officials.Note that I am all around you,so make
sure you don't do anything more than
contacting me,if not you will regret it.
I await your comment on this.
Mr. Green Umar..
Reply via:[email protected]

Seemed like a pleasant chap, so replied:

Quote:

Hello Mr Umar,

Thank you for your message.. You asked how I was doing today -well I am doing alright except that my right leg feels very stiff. I think it's been all the rain of late.

Now as to a business friend wanting to kill me. well, I've been out of the business for 15 years now and really I wouldn't have called any of my associates friends.

Still, it is nice to talk. What do you want to talk about?

Mrs Anne C0stell0 (Widow)

Was going to go with a retired hooker angle (Dunno if it's global but when I was in Glasgow "Any Business" meant... well, you know what it meant)

Anyway, back came:

Quote:

Listen Anne C0stell0 ,

I know what am talking about okay,you messed up with someone the,and the person felt that this is the rigth time to deal with you,so if you know what is good for you,let's go into negotiations,that is the only way I can help you,because I know you are single and I am still taking my time to figure out why they want to eliminate you.

So make sure you reply as soon as you read this email.

Salaam,
Umar.

Quite pleasant, huh? So replied

Quote:

Hello Umar,

I've been wracking my brain trying to think who a business associate could be.

Perhaps it's W----. We work together in a voluntary organization called the R--- M---. He's always acted a little strange.

Can you look at the site http://www.r---------- and go to the "Our Members" page and see if you recognize W-----,. I'm sure he will be using an assumed name with you. (I am also on the page)

I'll give you more information about what we do if you like, perhaps that will help us understand why you were asked to kill me.

How many suicide bombings and special killings have you done already?

Thank you

Anne

Unfortunately he didn't say how many suicide bombings he had done. Probably a modest kinda guy. Instead he said:

Quote:

Hello Ann,

Its angainst the ethics of my business to inform you of who sent me,well I will start by informing you that my boss was paid $10,000 for this job,and I am the one that the job is alocated to.

I will love to help you and inform you of who the person is and why they want you killed,but you will have to upset the payment for the job,because I have been given some part of the money which I spent.

If you can't come up with $5,000 with in the nest 24hours,well I think I will have no option than to carry out the operation,so as soon as you get this mail I will tell you how to make the payment,and after then I will also inform you of who is involved in this deal.

Umar.

So... he was so nice, tried to get him an honest job:

Quote:

Hello Umar,

I'm sorry to hear that you will need to kill me, I though we were getting along to well.

I don't think I can raise the money that fast, could you offer a line of credit, I'll pay it off every month?

As a thought, are you a musician? If so you could earn more than $5000.00 if you were hired by my voluntary organization, they're looking for musicians and I could put in a good word for you.

Thanks

Anne

But no...

Must be that legendary lazy hitman gene:

Quote:

Listen Ann,

I want you to make a payment of $2,000 first tomorrow,don't fail.

Payment information.
Payment Name:C0ll1ns Green
Address :
36 low3r Regent street
St Jame's,London
5W1l AQF

Amount : $2,000

If my Boss calls me from u.k and tell me you did not do it,then be ready for a bad outcome.
Salam.

Still, progress, started out at $5,000 now it's $2,000... Unfortunately Anne turns a little schizo!

Quote:

I thought we had something! Now this? Go ahead and kill me then, you've already killed my heart!

Fortunately Umar knows how to compromise... down to $1,000 now:

Quote:

Okay listen,I realy want to help you,that was why I inform you of this,so please for the sake of Allah which I serve,just do what I say,and I will not kill you,Go and pay what evere amount you have to my boss but it must be more than $1000 USD,so I can turn this job off.

Anne kinda swings back on the pendulum:

Quote:

Dear Umar,

Well, ok then. I'll send you as much as I can manage.

Is your boss really horrible? Is he making you do these thing?

I wish I had enough money that I could take $1000 to you in London
personally and see you. But the air fair would be too much.

If you ever want to just talk you can always reach me at 206----------.
I'm including a picture
of myself taken last summer. Will you send me a picture of you?
...Added a very nice recent picture of Michelle Pfeiffer...

All my love

Anne

But he's not so nice any more Sad

He doesn't like Michelle Pfeiffer maybe??? Is he crazy??????

Quote:

Listen am not in London now,I am not in London now,I am in this you
nasty City,so make sure you make the payment as soon as you can,if not
I will make sure I kick you ass to hell.

But Anne's still on the upswing... so:

Quote:

You're in San Jose? Why didn't you tell me?

We can meet at lunchtime tomorrow and go to the bank together.

Or maybe I won't pay... and you will have to kick my ass... and anything
else you you want Smile

Anne

Getting a bit nicer again... At least no ass kicking threats:

Quote:

Listen Ann,
I warn you for the last time,make the payment to my boss now!!! in
London,that is the only way I can spare you,and get you save.

The payment informations is as stated below.
Payment information.
Payment Name:C0ll1ns Green
Address :
36 low3r Regent street
St Jame's,London
5W1l AQF

Go and make the payment now.

Anne's happy to oblige :

Quote:

My dear Umar

I've put together as much money as I could find and sent it to your boss at the address below.

It might take up to 5 days to reach him.

That means you don't have to kill me now, doesn't it? Smile

So... it's still early. Want to meet for lunch? If you have other people to kill and can't make it then that's ok, I'll understand.

Lots of Love

Anne

Oops...

!

Quote:

Are you sick you bastard,I will make sure you are dead,was that what I ask you to do?,if you know what is good for you go and track your funds,and send it via western union money transfer,that is the only option,if not you will be in hell soon.

He's got some kind of hell fetish going on, the little devil. Time for a little slapping!

Quote:

How can you talk to me like this?

I did everything you asked, what does it matter if it reaches him by post or any other means? He'll still get the money.

this is all your own fault, if you had met me for lunch like I asked then you could have come with me when I got the money and sent it properly. What is "western union money transfer" anyway? Why would that make any difference???

And as far as going to hell goes, you can just go to hell! I don't want anything more to do with you!!!

Quote:

If you know what is good for you go and take the mone back and send it via western union money transfer or Money gram.

That's all I have for you now.

So... tried for a trophy... might have worked, saw by bigstring that he read this message 6 times before answering:

Quote:

I can't get the letter back, it's posted, it's gone!
I'll send another $1,100.00 to your boss, but on two conditions -
1) You apologize for calling me a bastard
2) You tell me in advance who wants me dead!
You know I'll have to max out a credit card to raise the extra cash, don't you?

Good day to you

Anne

But, not deal Sad

Quote:

Listen Ann,
If you dear me,I promise you before Allah,I will kill you,are you a fool?,

Is it in this century they send money via posting?,well let me inform you,I have no time to tell you sorry or anything close to that,all I have for you is to kill you,that is what am thinking of now.

I am drafting this mail with my mind fixed on the part of your body that am going to place the bullet on,well I think,I am the one that is making you talk to me this way,because I went into negotiation with you,I will not say more than this okay,but one more thing,I will make sure I do my job with the last drop of my blood!!!.

No greetings,
Blood for blood <--- I have no idea what this means, but it becomes a theme.

Oops, Anne's on the downswing now!

Quote:

Blood for blood it is then, Umar!

You had better find me before I buy a gun because that's what I am going to do RIGHT NOW!

If I see you, and WHEN I see you, you are going to die!

I don't care if you shoot me first, I'll still get you. This is going to be a suicide killing for you and will be very sweet for me!!!

You pathetic piece of shit!<--- that was particularly satisfying to write Smile

Anne

Quote:

Okay Ann,
Let's see how it will go then.
Still blood for blood.

And sent 3 hours later:

Quote:

Alright Umar, I'm ready for you now - blood for blood!<--- I still have no idea what this means

And a few hours later still, about 10pm...

Quote:

Ha ha, got you, you bastard!

Let's see how long you can drive with 5 bullets in you!!!!!!

But no, next morning:

Quote:

Ann,
Stop folling yourself,go and do what i said,and you will be free.

And Anne's a little polar:

Quote:

Fooling myself am I?

Well either you are lying in a hospital bed right now or one of your boys is. Either way, I win!

Look what I'm adding to my scrap book!

If that's you in the hospital, then I'll come and visit you. Do you like grapes?

Then i'll kill you for rejecting me!

Lots of Love

Anne

Quote:

Ann,
Am very okay,if you think you are going to make me stop by doing all this,it will not work,you lie to me that you sent money,why you did not,well is up to you to choose what you want,if you want it cool I will
play cool with you,but the way you are going,am sorry it will not go well.

Quote:

Hi Umar, so that wasn't you?

I'm actually glad to hear that.

Now I know why you do what you do. The thrill is so intense!

Let me work for you, we can work together as a team. You tell me who to kill and I'll do it. You can just sit back and relax!

Love and kisses

Anne

You know, it's worrying me how easily I could type "Love and Kisses"!!!

But that's basically it. I sent 2 more emails that I can see he read. But no replies. Now to remember to escape "C0stell0" and anything else that's vaugly unique, not that it should be necessary, but once bitten (by google search) twice shy Sad

.

I'll keep sending emails every day and next week tell him the letter with $1100 was returned to sender. Maybe he'll be a bit more cooperative then Smile

Edit: Title should be "Blood for Blood" not "Blood to Blood"
Edit(2) Frogot to escape the phone No#

Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2008 6:56 pm

I LOVE hit man baits! Its flipping hilarious! I want one to contact me!!!! Boo Hoo!

Posted: Fri Feb 22, 2008 5:48 am

@FS - I got mine from the surplus pile, they're floating around there like dog-ends in a urinal.

Actually got a few more interactions with Umar... **now** I think it's over, the last message was read only once. But you never know.. Smile

So to continue... he wrote back (not so chatty):

Quote:

You will work for me in hell

Quote:

Well Ok Umar, I'll just send another letter to your boss and see if he's interested in my services. I bet he knows talent when he sees it!

I bet he forces you to work with me.

And I will work with you anywhere, even if it is hell.

Love you

Anne

p.s. Do you have your boss's phone number, that would save a lot of time - thanks xoxoxoxox

And 'cause he wasn't answering.. also

Quote:

Hi Umar,

I tried to get into the hospital today but the police wouldn't let me. Are you sure that's not you in there. You've been very quiet. Almost as if you've been drugged for the pain.

Are you in a lot of pain?

I do hope so. But I will kiss it better.

I'm looking out for you and your guys. I'm going to shoot you if I see you, even if I feel sorry after.

Love and healing kisses!

Anne

Which seemed to do the trick, got this one this morning... oh my!

Quote:

You bastard that will soon die,I guess when you went to the police to report,they told you this is a threat right?,I will make you know that this is a death warrant okay.

You know why I love killing goats like you,because even in the grave they still remain fools,and I will make sure I rape you before killing you monkey,I am giving you my word you pig.

Since you feel the advice of the police to you is the best,I will make you know who sent me when you are about to die,and also will I cut you flat ass away,your death will be the worst that has ever taken place,I promise,even if it is going to cost me a hundred years to kill you,I will do it,I promise you that in the name of Allah.

Ann you have the gods to insult me,listen the day I will come for you even if a million police men are with you,I will finish you all with bomb.Don't you know police?,they can't save you,they will only give you hope that will not come to pass,since you say instead of you to negotiate for you life,that you will die,I will make sure I give you the death that you want,Allah.

Replied with:

Quote:

Hi Umar,

I don't own a goat, monkey or a pig. A monkey would be nice though if you have a spare one.

I'm a little tired today Umar, I feel a exhausted. Do you get that way after finishing a job? All that adrenaline then nothing?

I'm going back to sleep now.

Anne

And... probably done now (unless I can provoke him again... Probably will involve goats... Twisted Evil

)

Posted: Fri Feb 22, 2008 9:04 am

Duckquack,

I am baiting good old Um@r as well.....he is an angry little bastard, huh?

Posted: Fri Feb 22, 2008 1:35 pm

Sweet writing... loved your character development from Ugly Betty to Dirty Harriet...

Posted: Sat Feb 23, 2008 3:06 am

@Da Mayor - Yep, he's his old worst enemy sometimes... I don't know... if he'd just been a bit more pleasant. It could have been magical.

@Doit Pruitt - I see from your other posts that you're dating my adopted daughter, Ms. W1ll1ums, I don't want to worry you but last I heard half an hour ago she was in Japan. I'm currently trying to stop her forcing a 300,000 dollar check on me. Just saying, she'll spend your money like water!
- Quote from her last email " Dad once again, i am ok with this computer. The keypad is written with Japanese language , but i can cope with it."... o...k... Rolling Eyes

I've sent of 2 more messages, he's reading them but not replying. I think Monday is the earliest I can get away with having the $1100 returned as address unknown.

Posted: Sat Feb 23, 2008 5:34 pm

thanks duck... since I'm thinking of taking a quick trip down to Nigeria with my mates to get the "bank" to stop lollygagging with Miss Rita Williams consignment, I'm considering having one of my associates run his own rogue operation on the "lawyer"... would you mind if I borrow some variation of Mr. Umar's entreaty as a starting point?

Posted: Sat Feb 23, 2008 6:33 pm

Hi Doit, sent you a PM. I hope we're talking to the same guy from your W1lli4m's thread Twisted Evil

EDIT: p.s. PMs take a god awful time to get delivered (which can be handy if you have writer's regret and want to cancel a message!)

Posted: Tue Mar 04, 2008 1:54 am

Funny bait, loved how you handled him. For a twist you could bring in a second character who is looking for an assassin to do a job for him. Of course you are just working for a third party person and don't realize that Umar is the target of himself.

Posted: Wed Mar 05, 2008 2:42 am

Enjoyed it very much, good work! "Blood for blood", as they say... Laughing

Posted: Wed Mar 05, 2008 4:45 am

Unfortunately he's not responding too much now Sad

I sent him

Quote:

Hi Umar,
I'm glad you're not dead.
Your boss sent me the $1,100.00 I sent him back. It says "Unknown name at this address" on it but I'm sure that was just his way to get around security. He hasn't replied to my letter yet.
Does that mean I'm part of the gang now? Who do you want to kill first?
XOXOXOOX
Anne

To which he responded:

Quote:

Anne

You are sick.

I wish I could say that this was coming from one of the hitmen that sent out pictures of dead bodies, but it wasn't Sad

- Still pretty hypocritical for someone who was threatening to kill you.

I've tried a few more pings at him but he's just not responding. I thought the returning money would do it.. but no Sad

Still, maybe time to try again Smile

EDIT: hey, Chibuike, that's a great idea! Bring in someone who wants an assassination done (maybe down at the local Rotary Club!) but wants to know a professional is on the4 job!

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