Alistair's First Victim

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Master of Master Baiters Joined: 15 Feb 2005 Posts: 732

So far I've only been doing "straight" baits, this is my first attempt at something a little more amusing. Alistair wants a few more members for his satanic cult... Evil or Very Mad

Don't know if it's necessary or not but maybe I should point out that I'm not in any way a satanist...
Being a newbie, any suggestions on how to continue this would be appreciated. In the meantime, Alistair will be out hunting for more souls! Twisted Evil

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 15 Feb 2005 Posts: 732

Update! Mostly routine from now on, but I recommend the lawyers' rant at the end.

From
To Antonio Idris

My brother,

I have been trying to call you now for the last two days, but failed.
There was a computer voice saying something about my long-distance
provider... did you get something similar?
As you seem to think it is important that we speak to eachother I will
go buy a mobile phone tomorrow. Never had one before, you see.

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From Antonio Idris
To

Dear Brother,
Nice to read from you, as I have tried to call you severally and all i get is a machine saying your number is not responding. I am now in Togo and will remain here for two days on official assignment. Have you been able to write the lawyer yet and if so, what is his response?
I await to hear from you urgently.
Idris

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From
To Antonio Idris

My brother,

Very well, we will deal with that later. I was supposed to send this
deposit certificate to the lawyer? I'm afraid all you sent me was a
shortcut to a file and not the file itself, send it again when you have
the time. (Yes, he actually did this)

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From Antonio Idris
To

Dear Brother,
I am resending you a copy of the certificate, which I have in my safe custody.
Let me know if you get it this time. You are not supposed to send to the lawyer, but have the original copy upon your attendance at the Finance house in Ghana. Then, I must have met with you to give you the original copy and you should be able to get the court Affidavit of claim from the lawyer as well. Meanwhile, have you contacted the lawyer yet?
I await your response.
Idris.

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So lets contact this "lawyer"
From
To Barrister Bello Kuti

Mr. Bello Kuti,

My name is Alistair Runeberg, I was told to contact you regarding an
"affidavit of claim" which I would require in order to stand as the
rightful beneficiary to a deposit belonging to the West African Relief
Agency. I am an associate of Antonio Idris.
I hope you can understand what it is I need here, I must admit I barely
understand it myself.

Regards,
--

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From Barrister Bello Kuti
To

Attn:

Dear Sir,

I write in response to your mail, enquiring on the
procedural requirements in securing an affidavit of
claim. First I thank you for contacting my chambers.
The said claim document is obtainable from the Federal
High Court.

The requirements and cost will be:
1,Id card (drivers licence/international passport)

2,Full name and address

Cost: $2,890.00
Service charge: $450.00
Duration: 48 hrs

Let me know if you have any question regards to the
above detailed information.

Respectfully,

Barr. Bello Kuti

Note: If I may ask, what is the meaning of your email
and Organization, does it mean you don't know that The
Almighty God is All and All!!!?

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From
To Antonio Idris

My Brother,

I am in communication with the lawyer. He has asked for, among other
things, 3000 dollars in order to procure the documents. I will hopefully
be able to get my hands on this money in a few days, but any help from
your side would be appreciated.

I wish you had chosen another lawyer, were you aware that this man is a
Christian? It might not be so easy to deal with him.

In The Name Of The Adversary,

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From Barrister Bello Kuti
To

Dear Sir,

I just got in from the court. Your mail has been
received with detailed information and a copy of your
passport photo page. The duration means the period of
time it will take to obtain the court document once I
file in the court with all requirements in obtaining
the affidavit of claim.

For the fee, you can either send to our International
account or via money gram/western union to the name of
our financial coordinator, Barr. Lewis Thomas. However,
sending via a bank transfer could take about 3-4 days
to be confirmed/received. The choice is yours.

I believe I have actually interfered in the affairs not
associated with a legal affair and wish you accept my
apologies. (Nice save...)

On behalf of Boland and Associates, have a wonderful
day.

Barr. Bello Kuti

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From
To Barrister Bello Kuti

Mr Kuti,

I will choose the bank transfer option, it would be easier for me. I
should have the funds available tomorrow. I assume you will have
provided me with an account by then?

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From Barrister Bello Kuti
To

Dear Sir,

The receiving account is stated as Below

BANE NAME: ABN AMRO BANK
ADDRESS: NV. TILBURG HOLLAND
ACCOUNT NAME: xxxxxxx INDUSTRIES x.x
ACCOUNT NUMBER: xxxxxxxxx
SWIFT: ABNANL2R
(This information was forwarded to my mentor)

You should endevour to send the payment slip to enable
us make effective claim of fund. Let me know if you
have any question.

Regards,

Barr. Bello Kuti

------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From Barrister Bello Kuti
To

Sir,
You can also send to the account information as stated
below: (Well, thank you so very much)

HSBC BANK USA
452 FIFTY AVENUE NEW YORK
SWIFT CODE: MRMDUS33
CREDIT TO FINANCIAL BANK
SWITCH CODE:FIBBBJBJ
AC/NO: xxxxxxxxxxx
BENFICIARY: xxxx xxxx INTERNATIONAL.

Regards,

Barr. Bello Kuti

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From Antonio Idris
To

DEAR BROTHER,
AM HAPPY TO READ FROM YOU. I JUST RETURNED TO NIGERIA THIS EVENING AND MY FIRST POINT TO WAS TO CHECK FOR MAILS FROM YOU. THE LAWYER IS SOME WITH GOOD REPUTATIONS AND LEGAL BACKGROUND, THATS THE ONLY REASON WHY I HAVE CHOSEN HIM FOR THIS SERVICE AND WOULDN'T EVEN RELATE MY AFFAIRS TO HIM. PLEASE PARDON HIM IF THERE HAS BEEN ANY GAP. I CAN BE ABLE TO COME UP WITH $400.00. WITHIN THIS SHORT PERIOD.
I DID TRY TO CALL YOU FROM TOGO, BUT IT SEEMS YOU HAVEN'T FIXED YOUR PHONE YET. DID YOU GET THE MOBILE? YOU CAN CALL ME ON THE HOUSE PHONE: 234 1 4727746.
HOPING TO HEAR FROM YOU SOONEST

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From
To Antonio Idris

My Brother,

The lawyer has given me an account to transfer the money into and I
shall do so as soon as I have it, which should be tomorrow. I will be
able to come up with the sum required, you can keep the 400.
I don't think there is something wrong with my phone really, it is more
likely my provider. I will be contacting them about this as soon as I
have the time. But you wont have to wait for that, my brand new mobile
number is +1 2062031773. Is there something we need to discuss?

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From Antonio Idris
To

DEAR BROTHER,
IT'S GOOD TO READ FROM YOU. I TRIED TO CALL YOU AGAIN, WITHOUT MUCH LUCK. IN ANY CASE, I ONLY WANTED US TO DISCUSS IF I HAVE TO MEET YOU UP AT GHANA BEFORE YOUR ARRIVAL, AS THE NEXT PHASE WILL BE CONTACTING THE FINANCE HOUSE TO MAKE APPOINTMENT DATE FOR THE SIGNING OF THE RELEASE ORDER AND CONSEQUENT RELEASE OF FUND.
WHATEVER WAYS YOU CHOOSE, I WILL BE WILLING TO RECIPROCATE.
YOUR BROTHER,
IDRIS

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Lets see what happens if I do this...

From
To Barrister Bello Kuti

Mr. Kuti,

I was down to the bank attempting to make the payment today, however,
the clerk warned me that this account was under investigation for some
sort of fraud?
They referred me to this site:
http://www.commercialbranch.com/419Legal.org/419Legal.org/fraudbankaccounts.htm

Please explain?

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From
To Antonio Idris

My Brother,

We have run into a problem, the lawyer gave me an account that was under
investigation for fraud. I have asked him for an explanation, I will get
back to you when I get one.
How could you possibly meet up with me before I arrive? I believe your
english is failing you here, my brother.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From Barrister Bello Kuti
To

Attn:

Dear Sir,

I must confess that I have never received funds from
that account, but due to the fact you requested for an
account, I had to get one from the black market
dealers. (No shit... 100% risky free my ass) Since you are not comfortable with the
account, I suggest you send via money gram to the name
of Barr. Lewis Thomas of lagos ,Nigeria.

Regards,

Barr. Bello Kuti

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

From Antonio Idris
To

DEAR BROTHER,
AM YET TO HEAR FROM YOU. I HOPE ALL IS WELL.
IDRIS.

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From
To Antonio Idris

My Brother,

This is indeed an interesting person you have choosen as a lawyer. He
readily confessed that he got the account from "black market dealers"
and tells me to send the payment through Moneygram instead. I wonder why he just didn't give me his real bank account, is he trying to conceal
his identity? This has once again assured me of the hypocrisy of
christianity. I don't believe this man can be trusted, and I suggest
that we find another lawyer.

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From Antonio Idris
To

DEAR BROTHER,
I UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU ARE SAYING, AS I HAVE PERSONALLY EXPERIENCED THAT SOME CHRISTIANS CAN'T BE TRUSTED. HOWEVER, THIS IS NOT THE SAME HERE. I UNDERSTAND THAT MOST PEOPLE IN AFRICA MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO OPERATE DOMICILIARY ACCOUNT DUE TO SOME CERTAIN CONSTRAINT.
WHAT I SUGGEST HERE IS THAT WE JUST MAKE USE OF HIS SERVICES AND FORGET ALL ABOUT HIM. WITH HIS SERVICE, WE ARE SURE OF GETTING THE AFFIDAVIT OF CLAIM AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE AND WE DON'T NEED TO DELAY IN DOING THIS AS THERE ARE AUDITORS THAT WILL BE VISITING US BY THE MIDDLE OF THIS MONTH TO ALSO CHECK HOW WE HAVE SPENT FUND THAT WAS ALLOCATED TO THIS ORGANIZATION.
IN ESSENCE, IT'S BETTER WE SEND IT THROUGH MONEY GRAM IF THAT�S HOW HE WANTS TO RECEIVE THE FEE, AS HE HAS THE CAPABILITY OF GETTING IT. THE MOST IMPORTANT IS TO DEAL WITH SOMEONE THAT WILL HELP US WITH WANT WE WANT.
WHAT I MEANT BY 'MEETING YOU BEFORE YOUR ARRIVAL' IS TO BE IN GHANA BEFORE YOU ARRIVE, SO THAT WE CAN GO THE FINANCE COMPANY TOGETHER.
HOPE TO HEAR FROM YOU SOON.
YOUR BROTHER,
IDRIS

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This guy isn't buying it. I want more bank accounts out of him.

From
To Antonio Idris

My brother,

But that is the problem, isn't it? I don't think he will get us what we
want, he is untrustworthy and he is cheating us. This man only wants the
money, and has no intention of giving us the documents we need.
And why are you writing in all CAPITAL letters now, it is very annoying.
Please stop it.

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From Antonio Idris
To

Dear Brother,
As for the lawyer, I must say I know his firm and such a thing hasn't been recorded with them.
He will definitely get us the affidavit needed. I am hopeful of raising some money early next week ( $1000,00) If you he gives you the name to send the fee to, I might also have to send him the $1k, so we can share the cost.
Let me know your thought.
Your Brother,
Idris

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I have better baits going. Lets put this puppy to sleep.

From
To Antonio Idris & Barrister Bello Kuti

Hello "Mr. Idris" and company,

Of course the lawyer is a fraud, but so are you, Antonio. I knew all
along that you were both crooks. 419 artists is what you like to call
yourselves, yes?

The only reason I ever replied to that first email was so I could get
you to sign my document, where you willingly gave your soul to my master
Satan. Though I am quite sure you will both end up in hell regardless.

This is an interesting business you are in. Is there anyway I could be a
part of it? Your place in hell is of course already reserved, and so is
mine. But whether you will become masters or slaves is as yet undecided,
but I may be able to help you there.

If you would like some reading in the meantime I can recommend "The
Satanic Bible" by Anton LaVey, every member of my congregation is
required to have a copy. Also, you should check out our affiliate site
www.bushisantichrist.com in case you have any doubt that our current
president is the true antichrist.

In The Name Of The Adversary,
--

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From Barrister Bello Kuti
To

MR. SATAN OR WHATEVER YOUR NAME IS! I HAVE ALREADY OVER
COME YOU WITH THE BLOOD OF JESUS! BESIDES, I KNOW
NOTHING ABOUT ANY FORM. ALL I GOT FROM YOU WAS YOU
PASSPORT. YOU BETTER SAVE YOUR OWN SOUL AS YOU CAN'T
CONVERT ANY SOUL MEANT FOR CHRIST TO ANY ADVASARY SHIT. (Signature worthy?)

DAMN YOU DAMN SATAN!!!
CHRIST REINS OVER YOU ALL!!!!1

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From
To Barrister Bello Kuti

No, the form was for "Antonio".

But like I said, this business you are in will have damned you anyway.
What you are doing is greedy and evil, which is just my style. You ruin
peoples lives for personal profit. Sure, you have ways of justifying it
but it's just excuses.
Once you die, be assured your soul will not end up with Christ. It
belongs to hell.

Embrace Satan!

Embrace the ANTICHRIST!!

You Do Not Have Any Other Choice!!!

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From Barrister Bello Kuti
To

TO HELL WITH YOU. AS CHRIST REINS AND REINS FOR EVER!
YOU ARE JUST A PAUPER!!!

SORRY O!!!

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From
To Barrister Bello Kuti

YES I AM GOING TO HELL, AND I WILL RULE THERE! YOU WILL ALSO GO TO HELL,
BUT AS MY SLAVE!! SUBMIT, AND I WILL SHOW YOU MERCY!!!

Your so-called "Christ"'s reign is over. This is the time of the
antichrist, George Walker Bush. You are merely a blinded foolish
christian hypocrite if you do not see this, the evidence is
incontrovertible:
www.bushisantichrist.com
How can you deny these facts? Is your dumb blind faith worth that much
more to you than your senses and intellect? Soon, he will rule the
earth, will you be a slave is a master? This is the only choice you
have!

SUBMIT!

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From Barrister Bello Kuti
To

YOU ARE JUST A THIEF AND LOOSER!!!

YOU SAVE ON EARTH AND IN HAIL.

CHRIST REINS AND WILL REIN FOR EVER MORE.

MUGU LIKE YOU! NSHI MAN! (Que?)

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From
To Barrister Bello Kuti

I am a thief and a looser? My dear man, you are the one trying to cheat
people out of money, I have never stolen from anyone. And whether I am a
looser or not we shall see at the end of days.
YOU SAVE ON EARTH AND IN HAIL.> I have no idea what you mean by this. I
believe your english is failing you here.
MUGU LIKE YOU! NSHI MAN!> Mugu means idiot, that I know. What a Nshi Man
is I have no idea. Devil man?

No response for three days, and nothing from Antonio. So I guess that's the end of it. Next time Alistair wont accept anything less that a sign saying "Hail Satan", preferably with a small congregation including at least 6 children.

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 15 Feb 2005 Posts: 732

Actually a pretty good idea...
After sending the renamed dll-file, half-loaded picture and that crazy virus picture, do like my friend Antonio here and send a shortcut to the file instead!