Mr Donald Juma meets Prince Joe Eboe

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*** Another bog standard mugu letter ***

FROM: MR Donald Juma
TEL: 27 83 432 6680
PLEASE REPLY TO: [email protected]

Dear Sir/Madam,

SUBJECT: REQUEST FOR CONFIDENTIAL BUSINESS ASSISTANCE

I wish to introduce my good self as Mr. Donald Juma, 36 years old Agricultural Engineer and professional farmer. I am from Zimbabwe, a native of Harare and member of the Zimbabwe Movement for Democratic Change (MDC).
I am interested in doing business with your company particulary by venturing into any available business venture as an investment outlet, especially, in the field of Agriculture, finance and Engineering technology. I am in possession of some money, US$13
.5 Million (Thirteen Million five hundred thousand United States Dollars) that I
wish to invest as a matter of urgency through your Company.

If you are conversant with public issues, my country in undergoing terrible civil strife right now. The incumbent president Robert Mugabe, declared war on white farmers through his land re-distribution program which simply put, means grabbing land from u
s and redistributing them to his cohorts and supporters, action which is solely carried out for political reasons. Many of us were brutally murdered and presently, the government has given pardon to the
Perpetrators of such crimes and is also going ahead in persecuting many of us including my immediate Family. Many of us have left the country and his latest threat to persecute those he sees as political heavy weights of the former regime of which my fam
ily prominently belonged have made us decided to leave as well.

We are presently in South Africa and are in dire need of a good fellow who will help us repatriate our wealth and family asset which fiscal value stands at Thirteen- million five hundred thousand United States Dollars (US$13.5M). The family mandated me t
o arrange our migration to Europe or America, being the eldest son of my late father, Mr. Fredrick Juma who died in 2001 of heart failure.

It is my desire to transfer the said sum through you offshore bank account. I believe it will be much safer for me having transferred the money to the holdings of a security and finance firm here in South Africa. The money is in fiscal cash disguised to
avoid detection and registered as family treasures and valuables.

Terms of the transfer shall be discussed and I shall be willing to offer you 20% of the said Sum as commission and 5% to defray expenses that may be incurred during the course of the transfer. Call me on these number +27 83 432 6680 to declare your inter
est if you will assist me.

Thanks

Yours faithfully,

MR Donald Juma.
(FOR THE FAMILY)
PLEASE REPLY TO: [email protected]

Fortunately for Mr Donald Juma he has stumbled across Prince Joe Eboe the deputy assistant backup technician (reference the the series Lexx) for A.R.S.E.H.O.L.E. GCSB is a reference to the secretive Government Communications Security Bureaux.
the dictator to jumasfamily Jan 19

Mr Donald Juma,

I wish to introduce my great self as Prince Joe Eboe. I am the deputy
assistant backup technician for the engineering division of
Agricultural Research Sea Experimentation and Helicopter Operation
Logistic Engineering (GCSB). I am only able to process all
transactions under $350US million and I have a vivid understanding of
your plight.

However, before I will deal with anyone I require a picture so that I
am able to determine if the person that I am dealing with is honest
and sincere. Also, so I am able to determine that the picture is
really you you must hold up a sign with "Agricultural Research Sea
Experimentation and Helicopter Operation Logistic Engineering" written
on it. The sign must be clear so that I am able to read the sign and
make the capital letters very big or in a different colour as I have
extremely poor eyesight.

Kindly regards,

Prince Joe Eboe,
Deputy Assistant Backup Technician
GCSB,
Of the minor New Zealand State of Australia.

*** This mugu didn't seem to be concerned at getting a reply from an unknown email address. He doesn't seem to want to give up a picture easily. ***

Donald Juma to me Jan 19

Dear Joe,

Your mail was received with thanks; I appreciate your
concern over this venture and I strongly believe that
we are going to achieve the desired objective.

It is I and my family desire to go into partnership
with you but we must find a suitable way to establish
mutual trust and understanding, since the success of
this business is cantered on trust, honesty,
capability and confidentiality, if this achieved, we
will work with one accord and in confidence since we
don?t know ourselves.

Nevertheless, my only concern is your capability of
handling a business of this nature, you should
understand that the amount involve is large so the
transaction will require adequate co-ordination from
the both side in order not make any kind of mistake

Like I earlier explained to you, I would greatly
appreciate your assistance in:

A.) Using your bank account to receive the funds on my
behalf when they are transferred. In order words,
acting as the owner of the funds.

B) Advising on the best possible means of investment
in your country. I do not mind if you offer me
opportunity to own shares or enter into some form of
partnership with you in your Country.

C) Assisting in any other possible way that will
enhance or expedite the transfer, e.g.

There are few striking questions; I will like to get
the answers straight from your heart.

There are as follows:

1. Are you ready to keep the level of confidentiality
needed to realize this transaction?

2. Are you so sure that you will never sit on my own
share of the money once funds is transferred into your
nominated account overseas?

3. Are you willing come to Johannesburg, South Africa
to meet with me, to sign some necessary documents?

4. That your account is activated and capable to
receive the funds in your country.

5. How old are you?

I?m waiting for your sincere and genuine response to
my questions. We shall proceed with the business upon
receipt of favorable answers on the above raised
points. I would like to mention that this might be
necessary because the funds are not accessible to me
at the moment until they hit your account.

Be rest assured that every step of this business will
be handled legally and professionally, it is based on
this that the financial adviser is not leaving any
stone unturned. In due course, his laid down
arrangement will be given to you. I will be waiting in
great anticipation for your early reply immediately to
facilitate immediate action toward the transaction,
Please contact me on my mobile line: + 27-83-432-6680.

Best regards,

Donald Juma

I thank him for his rapid response as it took me 4 days to get back to him. Twisted Evil

the dictator to Donald Jan 23

Dear Donald,

I am thanking you greatly for your rapid response. I understand the
need for mutual trust in this transaction and your families concern
for confidentiality.

I do not mind answering your questions. You must understand that my
position of Deputy Assistant Backup Technician is very senior and that
I control all the helicopter purchasing accounts. As I stated in my
original email I can handle any amount up to $350,000,000US. Your
transaction is only the cost of 6 helicopters. You must be
remembering for a company of our Royal scale we lose at lease 10
helicopters a week due to unfortunate safety oversights. Any larger
amount would have to be authorised by Prince Albert the Assistant
Backup Technician.

In terms of investments the boom market is holding New Zealand shares
in Turkey Yeast. The demand from Stewart Island has increased by
600000% in the past year. I would be able to put you in contact with
the Yeast Farming Institute (NZDF) for direct financial advice.

Due to my Royal connections and very cushy job I am able to forward
documents to the bank with the Royal Fur Seal which will avoid
inspection of the transaction by the Deliberate Oversight Committee of
Internal Affairs, New Zealand Customs and the RSPCA which will make
the transaction invisible to the Totalitarian Action Party who
currently rule the country with their iron fisting (to my
dissatisfaction).

Fortunately for you the account is for purchasing and any additional
money not subject to the agreed 25% transaction fee left at the end of
the month would have to be explained to Prince Albert and the Pierced
Triangle Committee. I don't really want to go down that dirt road
because it would be very painful.

As a senior controller of the Rapid Response Backup Technician Team
(SAS) I am able to be anywhere in the world within 24 hrs. Due to
issues with your local government a Backup Technician Crew would
deliver me by helicopter in a remote location in South Africa. I
would not be able to pass through customs at an international airport.

To answer your last question I am 34. I know that it is unusual for
someone so young to be in such a senior position but my technological
innovation in providing Iraqi Insurgants with Robosapians armed with
electromagnetic pulse cannons to defeat US tanks for less than $3000US
each earned me my promotion. It was unfortunate that all the robots
got stuck in the rubble and the tanks drove over them but we made a
lot of money.

Now that I've answered your questions so that you are able to
unwillingly to being trusting me we must be very clear about one
thing. For me to be trusting you I MUST HAVE A PHOTO OF YOURSELF.
This photo as stated in my original email must HAVE A CLEAR SIGN with
our company name "Agricultural Research Sea Experimentation and
Helicopter Operation Logistic Engineering" in the picture. The
capital letters must be in bold or a different colour to assist my
poor eyesight. Without a picture I would feel myself unable to be
trusting you.

Kindly regards,

Prince Joe Eboe,
Deputy Assistant Backup Technician
GCSB, SAS, SEK, GSG9, NOCS, RAID,
Of the minor New Zealand State of Australia.

Most of the acronyms used refer to special forces units around the world. I'm insisting on a picture after mostly answering his questions. I wouldn't want to go down that dirt road with Prince Albert Twisted Evil

Guest

Donald Juma to me 7:32am 25 January

Dear

Thanks for your mail which was well understood. As a matter
of fact I don't have any picture to send you now, all we
can do to trust each other is to look for a reliable lawyer
who can do an Irrevocable Agreement for us that will bind
in this transaction.

Hope this will be ok with yoou.

Waiting to hear from you,

Donald

My sharp reply so he knows not to muck around and give me the photo. I had to include the reference to the Prince song.

Dear Donald,

No this will not be acceptable under any conditions. It is clear that you are not serious about the proposed business dealing as you are not prepared to supply the photograph as described. AS I TOLD YOU I AM NOT ABLE TO TRUST YOU WITHOUT THE PHOTO! You have the choice of supplying the photo or to stop wasting my time.

Remember that you are dealing with the one and only Prince Joe Eboe.

Kindly regards,

Prince Joe Eboe
Deputy Assistance Backup Technician
GCSB, SEK, GSG9, QQQ, AMD
Of the Minor New Zealand State of Australia

Guest

The mugu sent me an email titled "Sorry you are not serious". So I replied as follows, so I guess he has been burnt badly in the past.

the dictator to Donald 26 Jan

I'm sorry that you are not serious you dishonest mugu scammer.

May the faeces of 10,000 camels rain on you while you take a shower.

Yours sincerely,

Prince Joe Eboh.
Master Debater at Arms

Guest

Poor little mugu has a booboo

Donald Juma to Dictator Jan 26

Same to you ASSHOLE!!!!

He at least will have the benefit of my last email before his webmail service closes his account. Damn shame he can't spell my company name A.R.S.E.H.O.L.E.

the dictator to Donald 29 Jan

Donads,

You seem to be somewhat upset. I will send a team of backup
technicians to discuss any issues that you have. I have attached a
picture of the team operating in South Africa.

Have a good day,

Prince Joe Eboh
Assistant Backup Technician
GCSB
Of the Minor New Zealand State of Australia

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