The General and Arnold Ziffel

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Posted: Thu Feb 27, 2020 5:36 pm

Someone's in trouble today!

Lizzy: Good morning dear. I hope you have a good day at work today.
Arnold: Thanks sweety... Hope you are good...
Lizzy: I notice that you haven't deleted that old account of yours...why is that?
Arnold: Am sorry about that my love ... Let me delete it ASAP...
Lizzy: I'm fine. It will only take a few minutes to do it.
Arnold: Yeah sweety... I have done it... What are you up to today?
Lizzy: Hmm, strange. It still shows up. You didn't delete it
Arnold: Seriously? Check it out again
Lizzy: Now it shows. And it shows that you have unfriended me. Why?
Arnold: In my friend list?
Lizzy: Yes obviously
Arnold: I didn't do anything like that let me check it out... I only deleted the other account
Lizzy: You had to have done it...I didn't do it.
Arnold: Am sorry my love...believe me I didn't do it... I only deleted the other account
Lizzy: You had to have done it
It doesn't delete friends by it self
Arnold: Okay forgive me... Am sorry
But I didn't do such thing
And there's no way I will do it
Lizzy: And you can tell me one other thing....
why did you lie to me about your birthday?
It's not March 3rd like you said
Arnold: Okay I know you will ask... My elder brother did open the account for me, so he was the one who used August 22 but am born in March 3
All this while I didn't bother because I thought it didn't matter
Lizzy: Oh, so you posted about your birthday on your fb page on August 22 even though it's on March 3rd?
You really expect me to believe that?
Arnold: Am telling you nothing but the truth
So I felt reluctant editing it because nobody cares
Not until you ask and I told you the truth
Lizzy: Then why post this: "WHAT more can I say than to say baba God thank you for making me see today.its unbelievable how time flies but anyways its all good...wishing myself a happy birthday...."
Especially if it wasn't your birthday?
Oh come on now, really?
Do you really expect me to believe that?
Arnold: Believe me...
Lizzy: Well I don't
Arnold: What will i gain if I lie to you
Lizzy: Well, that's obvious, isn't it?
Arnold: No is not my lady
Lizzy: Then why wish yourself happy birthday on the wrong day?
Arnold: That's why am telling you sweetheart that I felt reluctant in editing it and I just followed it up like that... Because I just thought nobody cares...
Not until you ask
And I told you the truth
Lizzy: That's a lie. If you didn't think anyone cared, then you wouldn't have posted what you did.
I don't believe you
Arnold: I know is hard to believe... I think we need to ask my mom
Please I will want you to ask her yourself
Well this is out of my carelessness
Lizzy: Send me your birth certificate...I'm sure it has your birthdate on it
Arnold: Sure I will when I get home.
I will snap it and send it for you
Lizzy: fine
Arnold: How is your day going baby
Lizzy: We can chat later when you send it
Arnold: Alright, if you say so.
Lizzy: Oh, and you didn't delete the other account...you only deactivated it. I thought you were done lying to me?

He went offline immediately and hasn't come back on yet. I'll wait until he sends his birth certificate and see what he gives as an explanation for the other account. Then we can put a hold on the package. Twisted Evil

Posted: Fri Feb 28, 2020 6:05 am

^^^ Poor idiot! I think he will have a hard life. Laughing

Posted: Fri Feb 28, 2020 9:16 am

I do hope so! Laughing

He hasn't replied to Lizzy yet - I think he's hoping that the package will get to him before he has to say anything. He was asking if it would get there by today, but I guess he's in for a disappointment. I guess it's time for a slap along side the head in the form of freezing the package. Twisted Evil

Posted: Fri Feb 28, 2020 9:33 am

^^^ He will have to send a video clip asking for forgiveness. Right? Laughing

Posted: Fri Feb 28, 2020 10:53 am

At least that. Or, perhaps, have him sing a song...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c3nScN89Klo

Posted: Fri Feb 28, 2020 11:59 am

Oh yes, most definately singing!

11:46

Quote:

~~~ PACKAGE notification! ~~~

The parcel TRK854***** has reached Blaise Diagne airport, in Dakar / Senegal.
You can check the position of your parcel non-stop / 24 / 7, using the online application present on our website.

The Plog Team

Posted: Sat Feb 29, 2020 10:06 am

Saturday

08.09 - From "the servers" to our Arnold... bad news Laughing

Quote:

~~~ PACKAGE notification! ~~~

The parcel TRK85487*** is frozen, in the commercial hub of Blaise Diagne airport on request of the sender.
Contact your account officer.

The PLog Team

09.09 - Arnold (the lad) wrote to Roy (Customer manager at PLog):

Quote:

Good morning sir... I got a mail this morning telling me that my parcel has been frozen... I don't know how true that is... So I thought it wise to contact you... Please update me on that. Thanks

10.48 - Roy responds:

Quote:

Dear sir,

Yes, it is true, the delivery of the parcel has been frozen by request of the sender, Mrs. Lizzy, for reasons unknown to us.
I suggest you contact the sender to resolve this issue, because we only operate by instructions of the sender.
Your parcel is now in the Blaise Diagne International airport in Dakar Senegal.
It was scheduled to leave this evening with the next flight, but only if the sender allows us to continue the delivery.
I hope I have sufficiently informed you.

Kind regards,
Roy

We want a nice trophy from him. As soon as we get it, the parcel will continue the journey to Parakou. Laughing

Posted: Sat Feb 29, 2020 10:17 am

A river in Egypt wrote:

I don't know how true that is

I love how lads default into a state of denial when things don't go their way. Maybe some Vitruvian poses will snap his ignorant ass back to reality...or an apology video starring baby goats Twisted Evil

Posted: Sat Feb 29, 2020 11:13 am

Lizzy picked a fight with him last night. Seems that he did delete the GG profile as she requested. Ingrid had made note of Lizzy when she posted something on the GG profile and contacted her about him. Seems she was upset and worried that something bad had happened to her general. So Lizzy confronted Arnold with it. He denied it all by saying he had never "collected" anything from any of the women on that profile. Then when he was told about his other friend, he claimed he was ready to tell the truth. Laughing

But I guess he tried to start out nice this morning.

Arnold: Good morning my lady... Hope your night was good

Then he got the message about the package being frozen. Within ten minutes, he left two crying messages and tried to call twice.

Arnold: My love am sorry
Am truly sorry please forgive me... I know I messed up
Please and please... I know you knew me through a wrong way but am not like that... Please forgive me I beg you... It will never happen again...
If you've truly loved me once... Please love me again
Am sorry
I can't sleep
I truly love you... Am sorry 🙏
Please find a place in your heart to forgive me I beg of you... Am restless... Please
I can't do anything right now
My lady I truly love and trust you that's why I told you everything
You are the best thing that has ever happened in my life... Please don't leave me
I can't afford to loose you
Since you have changed me please be with me because I wanna be with you
Nobody has ever felt concern for me before... But you did
Nobody has ever given me true love and affection... But you didn't only gave me that you truly cared for me...
I love you my lady I can't afford to loose you
Am feeling down right now... You alone can take me up
My lady Please don't hate me because of my past
Am on my knees and I beg you with everything that can calm your mind... Please forgive me and make me feel love again
Throughout last night I couldn't sleep, I beg of you forgive me

Arnold: Am sorry please talk to me
You are hurting me
Lizzy: Oh, you poor baby
And just the hell do you think that did to me?
Seems that you are only concerned about yourself
Arnold: Am sorry please forgive me
I was wrong am sorry
Lizzy: Wrong for lying or wrong for getting caught in your lie?
Arnold: For the both of them
Am sorry 😢
Please my lady
I truly love you
Lizzy: And you think I can just trust you again after that?
Arnold: Please don't leave me
I know is not easy to trust me again but please I beg you... Just give me a second chance
I wanna be with you my lady
Am so sorry for hurting you
I know you will be disappointed in me
But please just give me a second chance...
Lizzy: Yes, I am disappointed
And very sad
Arnold: I know my lady... Am so sorry
Please forgive me
Lizzy: Do you ever listen to Elton John songs?
Arnold: No I haven't listened to his songs
Lizzy: There is one of his songs that I love and that I listen to when I'm sad.
It's called "Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word"
Arnold: But i mean it... Am so sorry 🙏 forgive me
Lizzy: Then you can prove it to me. Make a video singing that song to me. I would love that - the song means so much to me. Then I would know that you are truly sorry.
Arnold: But my lady i don't know the lyrics of the song if not I would have loved to sing it for you
Lizzy: I can send you a link to the song and the lyrics
Arnold: Okay you can send it

Link to Youtube video and lyrics sent.

Arnold: Okay now tell me what's really going on
Lizzy: What do you mean?
With the package?
I froze it
Arnold: But baby why did you do that
Lizzy: That's obvious isn't it?
Arnold: Yes it is... But I wanna know why
Lizzy: Because you hurt me by your lies
Arnold: But baby just understand is not all about the package, I truly care about you... I want us to be together forever... I promise, I will never lie to you again
Lizzy: Then prove it to me
Arnold: In what way my lady
Lizzy: Sing my song to me
if you do that for me, I'll unfreeze the package...that's all I ask. Then I'll know that you're serious about me. You have my email address and can send it to me there. I want you to come here but I have to be sure of you.

Seems that someone is trying to throw his weight around...won't work with Lizzy though.

Arnold: Why not through here... I don't believe you... And am beginning to loose my trust for you
Lizzy: You have a lot of nerve saying that you are losing your trust in me. You are the one who has lied to me. You can send it through here if you want, I don't care. I just thought it would be easier through my email address. But if you don't want to do it, just let me know. I'll have the package sent back to me and we can say our goodbye's now.

Posted: Sat Feb 29, 2020 9:45 pm

Quote:

~~~ PACKAGE notification! ~~~

The parcel TRK85****** is in transit at the Blaise Diagne International Airport in Dakar Senegal.

The P-log Team

Posted: Sat Feb 29, 2020 9:56 pm

Lizzy screwed up and sent a mail to him by mistake so there was some making up to do. He seems to have bought the explanation (if all else fails, blame the grandkids) and Lizzy agreed to unfreeze the package. He did agree to do her song tomorrow and send it so, if he doesn't, then the package will be held up again.

Posted: Sun Mar 01, 2020 12:36 pm

It looks like he kept his word and sent a video of him singing Elton John's "Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word".

Video

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Mar 2015 Posts: 1916

Wow! In all truth, that's pretty damn' good! He's better than Elton! 👏👏👏❤

Posted: Sun Mar 01, 2020 4:23 pm

LOL!

Posted: Sun Mar 01, 2020 5:07 pm

He was quite enthusiastic. Laughing

Baiting Guru Joined: 25 Jul 2017 Posts: 2107

I missed the artistic qualities as I was laughing too hard.

Posted: Sun Mar 01, 2020 9:54 pm

Wow, I'm impressed. He can keep a tune. Didn't like the whining sound, but hey, he delivered, he's whipped into submission.

This morning the parcel went to Conakry, Guinea and just now it moved to Accra, Ghana.
Tomorrow the parcel will arrive in Benin and the fun can begin. Keep the stunt goats ready Laughing

Posted: Mon Mar 02, 2020 6:57 am

^^^

All the stunt goats are ready for action!
Release the beast! Twisted Evil

===

09.00 - Directly from the Benin warehouse's, my manager Emoje writes to our lad:

Quote:

Sabah el Kheir, mister Arnold!
I'm Emoje Ogobanda, regional manager of the local PLog branch - Benin area.
This morning I received in our warehouse a parcel for a Nigerian client. I also attach a copy after the parcel transit document.
From our internal records, I can confirm the following details:

- Package: TRK85487**** arrived from Nagold / Germany,
- Sender of the parcel: miss LIZZY AUSWEINN,
- Receiver: mister ARNOLD AGABAJIE, from Abuja / Nigeria
- The package TRK85487**** is declared to be HVC type (High Value Content) and the insurance fee has been already paid.
- The declared contents of the package: "PERSONAL GIFTS".
- The Sender has paid also the transport and handling fees and the customs fees. The Receiver has no any additional costs.

The inventory list, attached to the package file:
1 x massive Gold Necklace
1 x Apple Iphone 11 Pro

The delivery deadline for this parcel is Monday, March 16, 18.00 local time. After the expiration of this period, if the Sender does not request a R.P. (the repatriation procedure) and if the Sender does not pay the transport costs back to the country of origin (Netherlands), then P.A.P. (the Package Abandonment Procedure) will apply, so the parcel will become the property of the company and the goods contained therein will be equally shared between the members of the local delivery team. From my personal experience I can confirm that many of the Senders refuse to pay the repatriation costs (which are equal to the initial costs) and they abandon the packages that have not been taken over.

Please confirm the accuracy of the data presented in the message.
Mash' Allah!
Emoje

===

09.36 - Roy to the lad:

Quote:

Dear sir,

Your parcel arrived in Parakou this morning. We realise that this is not the address where the parcel should be delivered, but unfortunately or company recently came into conflict with the authorities in Nigeria and they have suspended our license to operate there. It is all a matter of bribery and will probably be resolved in a few months.
Due to these unfortunate circumstances we are now not allowed to make any deliveries in Nigeria.
We invite you to pick up the parcel in our closeby facility in Parakou, Benin. Since this is not your fault, all expenses you'll have to make to get your parcel will be reimbursed by the regional manager,mr. Ogobanda.
I see that you have received a notification with his contact details, so I request that you contact him to arrange the details.
I hope to have sufficiently informed you.

Kind regards
Roy

Arnold to Roy:

Quote:

Thank you very much sir... I received his message and I have replied him, so am waiting for his response

===

10.04 - One hour later:

Quote:

Salam mister Arnold!
You have received my previous message?

Mash'Allah!
Emoje

10.40 - Dear Arnold wrote to my manager Emoje:

Quote:

Good morning sir...its me arnold.... The owner of the parcel that is being sent... The data is 100% correct... How soon am I expecting my package?

11.15 - Emoje to Arnold:

Quote:

Salam mister Arnold!
The parcel can be picked up immediately, or on any day of the week (except Sunday).
I only need to be notified of your intention to come here at least 24 hours in advance, so that I can prepare the necessary documentation. OK?
If you need help or assistance, I can send one of our drivers to meet you and bring you directly to the warehouse.
The driver can take you from the airport (if you come by plane), from the bus station or (in exceptional cases) even from the border.
If it's something unclear, please tell me. In the case of clients coming from Nigeria, we fully deduct the amount of all their expenses (transportation, accommodation, food, etc.).

Mash'Allah!
Emoje

===

12.20 - Of course, our dear lad Arnold would rather not travel:

Quote:

Mister Emoje, don't you guys have branch in Nigeria? What if you send one of your workers from there to come down here with my package, I will be utmost grateful if you grant that... Thanks...

My manager Emoje explain all:

Quote:

As Salamu Alaykum, mister Arnold!
From what I know (I do not know all the details, because everything is kept secret), it seems that in Nigeria there was a diplomatic scandal in which our agency was involved. An American businessman wanted to bribe a Nigerian senior official and our branch carried some packages with jewelry. Unfortunately, no one kept the discretion. Some of the people involved were arrested, others fled the country. As far as our company is concerned, the operating license was suspended until the end of the investigations. Our lawyers are working on this, but nobody knows how long it will take.

So, I am sorry, but our operational capacity is strictly limited to the territory of Benin. The PLog branch in Benin does not have a legal license to operate in the territory of other countries, so an international delivery is excluded from the start. My drivers will not cross the border and will not make deliveries outside the country! It would be completely illegal and we do not want to lose our legal right to operate the business. I hope you understand my delicate position. But, as I mentioned before, I can help with delivery and assistance anywhere in Benin.

Mash'Allah!
Emoje

===

12.45 - Arnold to my local manager:

Quote:

Okay thank you very much for your time... Then help me with the driver's number and do I need to come with any document?

Emoje:

Quote:

Salam, mister Arnold!
From what I see in our computer system, the identification of the Receiver will be done biometrically (probably you could not present an officially accepted identity document). This means that you do not have to present any other additional document upon delivery, but biometric re-authentication will be required (this involves a second set of biometric pictures, sent on the day of delivery). The automatic processing of the biometric photos can take 6-12 hours, so I will agree you be able to send the pictures 24 hours before you come here (so that everything goes as smoothly and we don't wait unnecessarily).

Most of our drivers speak only French and some local dialects, but on the day of your arrival I will make sure to find a driver who knows English and can communicate directly with you. No problem, I will solve this! I repeat my request to be notified about your visit at least 24 hours in advance. Also, for ease in the process of settling your expenses, I need scanned copies (or photos) after all: plane tickets, bus tickets, etc.

Mash'Allah!
Emoje

Posted: Mon Mar 02, 2020 12:15 pm

Looks like someone's day is starting out good.

Good morning baby... You know am always here for you... 😘 😘
My love they want me to come to Benin Republic for my package... I don't know what to do

Posted: Mon Mar 02, 2020 12:55 pm

13.34 - Arnold to my manager:

Quote:

I hope your country is safe for foreigners plus do you guarantee my safety in your country because I have not been there before, so you need to assure me of my safety.

Emoje's reply:

Quote:

Mister Arnold, as Salamu Alaykum!
Benin is a country where the laws are made for people, as is Nigeria. As long as you travel in populated and civilized areas, there is no any problem for tourists. The only dangerous areas are those in the North of the country, where there are still cases where the "human hunters" still act with the brutality specific to the savages. But this only happens in the North, so you don't have to worry. The biggest and most civilized city is Cotonou, so if you come thre by air-plane then my driver will pick you up directly from the airport.

Mash'Allah!
Emoje

===

13.55 - Well, we have high chances for him to travel. We will see in the next few days.

Quote:

Thank you very much sir, I appreciate your effort and I have confidence in you now... I will let you know when I will be on my way...

Emoje:

Quote:

Salam mister Arnold!
Please do not forget that you must tell me at least 24 hours in advance, because I can do all the necessary preparations.

Insha'Allah, all will be fine!
Emoje

Posted: Mon Mar 02, 2020 1:54 pm

13:16 arnold

Quote:

Sir is there no way that my package can be sent to me in my country? Because the guy in Benin Republic said I need to come to Benin Republic for my package, honestly am confused...

14:48 Roy

Quote:

Dear sir,

As I told you, unfortunately there is no way of P-log being able to deliver parcels in Nigeria right now, because the license is suspended and delivery's we would make in Nigeria right now would be illegal. This is the reason we are offering financial compensation for you if you pick up your parcel from Parakou. I am sure the local manager will be willing to help you out and pick you up at the nearest airport if needed.
Please send any tickets or receipts from traveling, food, hotel stays to us and we will make sure that you will be compensated for this. You can come together with a friend, because the reimbursement will be made for both of you.

Kind regards
Roy Storm

Posted: Mon Mar 02, 2020 2:26 pm

Arnold: And the deadline is on the 16th of this month...
Lizzy: I don't understand it....they were supposed to deliver the package to you. How far is it?
Arnold: My love I don't understand too... Do you want me to send the regional manager's email address to you... So that you talk to him and he will explain better
Lizzy: Yes, please do
Arnold: Okay (sent two screenshots of the mail)
Lizzy: Can you send me his email address too?
Arnold: I can't find his email address
Lizzy: When you write him again, you can give him my email address and ask him to write me if that would be easier.
Arnold: Emoje@plog
Will this help?
Lizzy: perfect! Thank you honey. I'll write him and have him explain it all to me.
Are you at work today?
Arnold: Yes baby then I saw the mail
I wasn't happy about it because you've paid for everything and he sent me the invoice
Lizzy: I'm puzzled about it too. As long as the package is safe and no one finds out about what's inside, I'm hoping everything will turn out okay.
Arnold: Yes my lady... I think it's safe and they can never find out...because it is labeled High Value Content (HVC) so it won't be tempered with
Lizzy: That's good.
Arnold: My love Ray just sent me this (mail about reimbursement)
Lizzy: Well it's good that they would do that.
Arnold: Yes my lady... It's good but I will need passport and flight ticket
Lizzy: You need a passport to go there?
Arnold: Yes my love ecowas passport
Because they will demand for it at the airport
Lizzy: Do you have one of those?
Arnold: Unfortunately, No my love 🙈
Lizzy: How long will it take you to get one?
Arnold: I don't know unless I go to the passport office... But my love can't they bring it to me, I mean you paid for everything... Am not supposed to pass through all this... Don't you think so?
Lizzy: I think so too. I'll write and see what they tell me.
Arnold: Please do, I don't want us to spend money unnecessarily
Just write to Ray and the other guy in Benin Republic too... They are supposed to be the ones doing this not us... Because you arranged it with them right from the outset that is straight to Nigeria and they concurred
Lizzy: I don't know if it will do any good, but I will.
Arnold: So what do you think?
Lizzy: About what?
Arnold: About looking for a way to bring it down here
Lizzy: I don't know we can do
Maybe they would have a suggestion. (maybe something that would involve goats?)
Arnold: I think they will
Lizzy: We can ask and find out.
Arnold: Sure my lady

Posted: Mon Mar 02, 2020 2:33 pm

^^^ Lizzy will find out that her dear boyfriend must travel by bus, because crossing the land borders does not imply the need for a passport.
He can cross the border with any act of identity. Laughing

Posted: Mon Mar 02, 2020 2:35 pm

He doesn't need a visa for Benin, maybe suggest him taking a bus, because that's much easier (and uncomfortable)
And if he does need to buy a passport, he'll be reimbursed by P-log of course

Posted: Mon Mar 02, 2020 2:56 pm

The lad, to my local manager:

Quote:

Okay mister Emoje I will keep you posted and I will do as instructed. It will definitely be fine by God's grace

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