Happy tapping with Elmo

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Posted: Sun Mar 22, 2020 6:34 am

Our Saga continues. Twisted Evil

This little idiot doesn't understand what's going on, but he thinks he's on the right track Laughing

... which will bring him some money! Soon! Very soon! Laughing

Elmo to father Eduard, another message:

Quote:

Dear Rev Eduard,

Please I am very worried over your suddenly silence at me since yesterday i sent the requirement to you.
Please what to find out if i am still needed or qualify to become a reverend.

Please i like to know my position if i am needed or not.

Thank you and God bless you.

Regards,
Mr. Elmo.

Reverend Eduard, to our idiot:

Quote:

Son, thank you for your confirmation message. God bless you!
Please keep in touch with our secretary Dave and do all you can to get this bureaucratic formality completed as soon as possible. I would be pleased to be able to start the practical discussions regarding the charity and sponsorship program of your parish. In the first year, we will sponsor your charity actions 100% (the annual budget is $45,000 / parish) and, within 10 years, you will reach the situation where your parish can self-finance from its own funds.

But, let's not anticipate anything yet and let's focus on your Admittance process. Please also consider a number of Personal Assistants (recruited from the members of your parish who participate most in our actions) who will receive, like you, a monthly salary. The minimum number is 4 assistants per parish, and the maximum number is 12 persons (as in the case of the Apostles of Jesus).

Be blessed, in the sacred name of our Holy Lamb!
Rev. Eduard

===

Elmo to sister Dave:

Quote:

Dear Sister Dave

I am happy now that you have bring back the trust you have for me from the beginning and i assured you now that your servant is change person and ready to do the work of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Please In the attachment is the " PROOF OF FAITH" quote message and my visible picture which you requested and also in attachment is the ADHESION FILLED FORM.

Please kindly open the attachment you will see those requirement and I pray that it will please your mind to approve and give me the opportunity to work in God divine yard.

Thank you once again for your forgiveness and the trust you have brought back.

I will be very glad if approve my requirements and give me the opportunity to serve our Lord Jesus Christ and I promise to win many souls for the Lord if giving the opportunity.

Thank you and God bless you.

Regards,
Mr.Elmo

Sister Dave:

Quote:

Brother Elmo,

You have had us wait for weeks to send us a simple picture and form, yet you have the audacity to send multiple messages in one day almost demanding an answer. I expect a more humble attitude from an aspiring reverend. Even though the pictures were very unclear, while we explicitily told you to make a clearer picture, your application have been approved and I can welcome you now as a member of our church.

There are a few steps that need to be taken to become a reverend. You can view these as your spiritual journey to prepare you for your task to lead a parish and be shepherd of your own flock. You don't need to worry about anything, because these steps will not be hard to do, but you will need to prepare them in prayer and guidance of the Lord.

To become a reverend, first you need to gather a few disciples to help you with the tasks in front of you. Jesus had 12 apostles, so the preferred number would be 12, but since this is a very new decision that you have made, we will not expect you to have 12 disciples already, this process might take some more time, so we suggest that you start with 4 people to help you. You will need them also to pray for you and the task that lies ahead of you. It is of utmost importance and the disciples will each earn a salary once your parish is operational, which will not be as much as the reverend, but we expect them to dedicate their time to the new parish and they will need to provide for their living as well.

Together with these disciples you will have to recreate a Biblical scene, the one where Moses parts the sea after the Lord has led them out of Egypt. You will have to dress in a robe, wearing a cloak, or something resembling these clothes and hold a rod in your hand like moses did. Your disciples will need to be dressed equally but it should be clear that you are their leader, like Moses was the leader of the Israelites when God led them away from Egypt. Pray together and read the Biblical story to feel the message that the Lord wanted to give us through this history. Then you will find a place close to water. This should preferably be the sea, a river or a stream, but if you can't find it, a lake, or even, by lack of that, a swimming pool will be accepted. Since this is about your reenactment of the scene and not the scenery itself. You will need to act out 4 different parts of the story and from each of these parts you will have to send us 5 pictures, so a total of at least 20 pictures is what we expect you to send us and I expect these pictures to be of good quality this time.

- Moses and the people kneeling down praying to the Lord

- Moses with raised hands while the people are still kneeling

- Moses with his rod raised to the sky, people looking in awe at the parted waters

- Moses and the people with raised hands praising the Lord for the miracle of salvation.

Remember that this is a spiritual process which has to be guided by prayer of you and your disciples. We don't expect you to rush this process and send us these pictures today, but we do expect you to keep communicating with us about the progress you are making in the preparations for this task that will prepare you to be the leader of your own flock.

Be blessed
sister Dave

Posted: Sun Mar 22, 2020 9:17 pm

Another lad informed me that it's not allowed anymore in Nigeria to gather in groups due to the corona outbreak. Personally I have some ethics and I don't want to risk that because of one of our tasks the virus will spread, so all our lads in this stage of the bait received a message like this. I don't care if there is a rule about gathering or not.

Quote:

Dear brother Elmo,

In the light of the Corona virus outbreak, news has reached us that in several countries in Africa the government issued that it is not allowed anymore to gather in large groups anymore. I don't know about the current situation in your country, but the elders decided to take matters into their own hands and not take any risks in this exceptional situation. Of course we will not ask you to go against your government regulantions and we want everybody to remain safe, so you shouldn't gather a large group of people right now if your government prohibits that. Instead of reenacting the biblical scene the elders have decided to give you a task you can fulfil by yourself.

You need to read the book Exodus in the Bible and draw out the stories from the whole book. The stories with Moses, the burning bush, all the plagues, tha Passover, the escape from Egypt, the passing through the sea and all other stories. You need to draw a minimum of 20 drawings, but personally I believe you will need to make more in order to project the complete book of Exodus.

You can send me pictures of your work everytime you have finished some so that we can monitor your progress and guide it when needed. Father Ed and the other elders will be unavailable for communications in the next few days. The exact time isn't known right now, but they have retreated in their chambers for a time of prayer and fasting.

Be blessed,
Sister Dave

Posted: Wed Mar 25, 2020 10:03 am

Monday
12:32 Elmo

Quote:

Dear Sister Dave,

Thank you for your message. I am very glad to hear from you and also hear that my Application Form has been approved. I am very excited to hear that.

I got your message and i had what you said and i do exactly as you instructed but i want to know if this is the last thing i need to do before i will start my own parish here.

Please i need to know all i need to do instead telling me one after another. Please tell me all at once so that i will know it.

Thank you and God bless you.

Regards,
Mr. Elmo.

16:49 Sister Dave

Quote:

Brother Elmo,

As you might understand, the task of being a reverend is an important one and you need to be duly prepared for it. There will not be many steps to be taken before you are officially a reverend, but you will need to take all these steps together with us and we will take them one by one. It's a responsible job and you will have to manage large funds as well as guide your own group of followers. With these steps you will prove that you are spiritually equipped to take on this responsible task. The final task of the initiation will be your baptism. After that you will officially be a reverend.

Be blessed
Sister Dave

Tuesday
15:41 Elmo

Quote:

Dear Sister Dave,

Thank you once again for your message.

Please In the attachment is the requirement you requested, kindly go through it if it is enough or i should do more drawing and sent to you.

Please i can,t wait to be official announce as a Reverend.

Thank you and God bless you

Regards,
Mr. Elmo
<Attached a bunch of downloaded images>

16:00 Sister Dave

Quote:

Brother Elmo,

I honestly hope that you have not sent this rubbish to father Ed, because it may give him a stroke.
How dare you try to fool us into thinking you have made these drawings? You have downloaded them from the internet. It's a disgrace that you try to trick a church. We have given you another chance and this is how you thank us for it? Shame on you!

Elmo

16:29 Elmo

Quote:

Dear Sister Dave,

Why isn,t that all your words are full of insult and you called yourself a christian. Even if i did not draw this and sent to you, at least all you need to do is correct me and inform me and direct me on what to do not always insult.

You want me to draw all these things, okay Good. My Question now is that, Is this my last test. I want to know. So tell me everything i need to do same time.

I don,t like after these you will come up with another surprises again.

Regards,
Mr. Elmo

16:35 Sister Dave

Quote:

Brother Elmo,

Your attitude is becoming more and more annoying and demanding every day. Remember, you wanted to be a reverend and you can not command me what to do and how to do my job. I work for the Lord and only th elders of our church can tell me what I can and can not do, so I suggest you change your attitude real quickly.
You can not blame me for the fact that you did not draw pictures like I explicitly told you to do, but downloaded pictures. When you purposely try to fool people you can not expect them to hold your hand, pat you on the back while they tell you that they feel so sorry that you refused to listen to a few simple instructions. I sincerely ask you, are you drunk? I have never met someone in my life who expects to be treated like a prince while behaving like a serpent. If you expect to be treated with kindness, you have to show kindness and you need to stop deceiving us because I am done with this. One more transgression and I will advise against your appointment as a reverend to the elders.
I am not going to address your foolish and rude demands because that is not the way we work here and until you understand that, there is nothing more that I have to say to you.

Be blessed
Sister Dave

Posted: Wed Mar 25, 2020 2:47 pm

11:27 Elmo

Quote:

Dear Sister Dave,

Please kindly forgive my manners and my rudeness. Please i am pleading and begging you in the Name of God.

I was not intentional want to deceive you but rather want to know if you can also accept those once but now that i have seen that it is not acceptable. I will start doing the drawing but i am not good in drawing things hope you will accept the way i present my drawing to you.

As soon as i draw each one i will sent it across to you, but what i ask you yesterday you have never still answer me. Please why can,t me know all the requirement i needed to do at once instead of sending it one after another.

Thank you and God bless you.

Regards,
Mr. Elmo

15:35 Sister Dave

Quote:

Brother Elmo,

So you accidentally send downloaded pictures while the assignment was to draw them yourself? This ist very strange behavior.
Concerning your other question, I already answered that. We do not work this way and you can either accept it or not.

Be blessed
Sister Dave

Posted: Wed Mar 25, 2020 3:12 pm

I know it doesn't really matter because "it's your way or the highway" but you could tell him that each "next step" is directly based on the performance of the previous. If you excel doing one step you will be given a slightly easier step the next time. Muck shit up by doing a step half fast or you cheat then expect something harder next time. If each step is worth 10 points and becoming a member is 100 points then you have to do 10 steps perfectly to join. Do each one at half effort then you'll have to do 20 steps. No applicant's path to reach the Holy Lamb is the same. The types of steps and the number you are asked to perform directly relates to your hard work and dedication. Question these methods and points will be deducted. In fact, points can be deducted for any reason.

Probably a bit too convoluted but it explains why nobody knows how many steps there are or which ones any given lad will be required to perform. It could motivate lads to perform better. Plus, with a points system, you can arbitrarily deduct points from lads when they bitch about stupid crap. If he doesn't like the next step you can remind him that he wouldn't have had to do said step if he hadn't run his stupid mouth off or had done a better job on previous steps...so it's all his fault of course Laughing

Posted: Sun Mar 29, 2020 2:54 pm

Thursday
7:52 Elmo

Quote:

Dear Sister dave,

Good morning Sister,

Thank you for your message and I got your message and i had what you said.

Please i have started working on the drawing so i will start sending them across to you over this weekend.

Thank you and God bless you.

Regards,
Mr. Elmo.

13:53 Sister Dave

Quote:

Brother Elmo

I am looking forward to see the first results of your work in the coming days. Please make sure you use a good quality camera to make the pictures. If they are blurry this time they will not be accepted.

Be blessed
Sister Dave

Friday
11:46 Elmo

Quote:

Dear Sister Dave,

Good morning Sister,

Thank you for your message.

I am making progress so i will start sending them across over the weekend.

Thank you and God bless you.

Regards,Elmo

Saturday
13:48 Sister Dave

Quote:

Brother Elmo,

It is already halfway through saturday and I have not yet received anything. Please give me an update about your progress

Be blessed
Sister Dave

14:31 Elmo

Quote:

Dear Sister Dave,

Sister, The truth of the matter is that some of the drawing is ready and we are facing lock-down here so there is no business center that open here for me to scan those drawing and attach it and send it to you.

This Corona-virus is causing a lot of problem here and it is affecting business here. Please exercise patience if i come across any Business center that opens then i will scan those drawing and sent it to you.

Thank you and God bless you.

Regards,Elmo

Of course there's a solution to every problem.. only he may not like it, because we'll find out he didn't do anything yet.
17:20 Sister Dave

Quote:

Brother Elmo,

Thank you for your message. If you have trouble finding a place to make scans of the drawings, it is also allowed to make clear pictures of your drawings and send those to me. Just make sure that they are of good quality.

Be blessed
Sister Dave

17:46 Elmo

Quote:

Dear Sister Dave,

Please Sister, Exercise patience because scanning is the best for me because i remember you complain last time telling me that the last picture i sent is not clear, so let me scan the drawing and sent it.

Scanning is the best because it is a drawing art work so as soon as i see a place to scan it i will do that i sent to you.

Thank you and God bless you.

Regards,
Mr. Elmo.

Sunday
12:17 Sister Dave

Quote:

Brother Elmo,

Like I told you, it doesn't matter to me whether it is scanned or photographed, as long as you send it this weekend, like you promised. I am sure you have people around you with a decent camera on their phone, that you can use to make a few pictures of your work. As a future reverend I am expecting at least a little amount of problem solving abilities.

Be blessed
Sister Dave

I am convinced that the idiot didn't do anything and is only complaining about the government measurements in hopes to get his money without any effort.

Posted: Mon Mar 30, 2020 11:12 am

Monday

08.30 - Our idiot to sister Dave... he is extremely lazy, but very stubborn and he still thinks he'll get the money without doing anything. Laughing

Quote:

Dear Sister Dave,

Remember you told me that i should take my time to do that work and you also me that i should not do the drawing immediately and sent it and i decided do the work immediately and now you putting pressure on me to sent it to you like that, after all my explanation on the situation things over here to you.

It seems like my explanation does not count or matter to you only the one you said. you don,t really care about my welfare and the condition of things over here.

I will send it to you whenever i have opportunity to get to the Business center and scan it, try and exercise patience okay. There is no movement here inn Ghana for 2 weeks and am your country too is facing same thing there because of Corona-virus.

Thank you and God bless you.

Regards,
Mr. Elmo.

11.34 - Sister Dave:

Quote:

Brother Elmo,

I do not appreciate the way you address me. It is a respectless attitude that you are showing again. You have made a promise to send me your first drawings this weekend and you failed to do so. I gave you a solution to your problem so that you would be able to keep your promise, by making photo's of your work instead of scans, and all you do is complain and insult me by talking in a rude manner to me.
I will send this message to father Ed as well because I am seriously running out of patience with you.

Father Ed, please look at the way brother Elmo is speaking to me, and please note that this is not the first time he is showing this kind of attitude. It is not my place to decide who is fit to fulfil the position of reverend an start their own parish, but with this respectless attitude I seriously doubt that brother Elmo is the man for the job. I know Gods ways are mysterious and I want to ask your forgiveness for my doubts, but also I hope you will look into our communications from the last few weeks.

Be blessed
Dave

===

12.03 - Father Ed, to sister Dave (Elmo is in CC):

Quote:

Sister Dave, God bless you!

You know very well that these difficult times bring before us special situations and ask us for exceptional solutions. These trials bring extraordinary people to the surface and make us understand how lucky we are with some of our followers. We have noted the exceptional progress made by the Reverend Abdoul from Kumasi and I sincerely believe that he will be our last choice. On the other hand, I am deeply saddened that Reverend Elmo from Accra has utterly failed and I recommend that he stop working with him. His words show that he did not understand anything and that he has an attitude that is not in line with our requirements. I do not think he will be able to become our Reverend.

Sister Dave, my wish is that all $45,000 (the sponsorship) be sent to Kumasi Parish only.
Please keep me informed.
Blessings,
Rev. Ed

Elmo will probably be angry and frustrated again, as it happened last time (when I mentioned the Rev. Abdoul from Kumasi). Laughing

Posted: Tue Mar 31, 2020 4:57 am

Tuesday

As we already anticipated, our dear Elmo is completely dissatisfied. Laughing

Elmo to sister Dave:

Quote:

Hello

You reported me to your master and he also sent me a message too, and he decided to cancel everything. there is no problem. it is not the end of life.

Since my own message and words is not matter, there is no problem. I have so much respect for those that also respect me but if you cannot respect me then i cannot respect as well.

Thank you for your time.

Regards,
Elmo

Sister Dave:

Quote:

Brother Elmo,

I have had a lot of patience with you and I have shown you a lot of respect. In this case it is your own lack of attitude and the way you have shown that your words are not trustworthy that had father Ed make this decision. You are the only one to blame for this and with your behaviour you have wasted a lot of our time.
If you still want to have a chance to start your own parish for our church in Ghana then you'll have to explain yourself to father Ed and plead with him, because I have run out of patience.

Be blessed
Dave

Elmo to father Ed:

Quote:

Hello,

I am really surprise at your message. you didn,t ask me what happen and you just jump into your conclusion. there is no problem. you have make your decision and i am not going to beg you for that because you didn,t show me respect either.

There is so many place i can serve God okay, and you cannot stop me there too.

I am not interested on your $45,000 or whatsoever but just want to serve God that gives me life everyday not because of your $45,000.

Thank you for your time.

Regards,
Elmo

Father Ed wrote to our moron... a huge slap:

Quote:

Son,

More than a month has passed since you were asked to begin the Accession process and you have not yet been able to pass the first step. Your silly apologies and the naughty way you talk to Sister Dave are unacceptable!

It is quite clear that you are not interested in becoming a Reverend and benefiting from our church sponsorship. Maybe you have other more profitable businesses and can earn enough money that our small financial possibilities are no longer attractive to you. It's just your sin, not ours! Reverend Abdoul managed to raise a real Parish in Kumasi in just one single month! He already has over 20 parishioners and has built the monument of Faith! Surely he deserves our attention and he is certainly a reliable man!

So far, I have not seen from you anything other than "sorry" excuses, 2 questionable photos and many delays and pretexts and postponements. It is clear that you do not really want to become a Reverend and benefit from the monthly salary and all the benefits of our sponsorships.

Blessings,
Rev. Eduard

===

Elmo writes back to sister Dave... his frustration is at 100% level. Laughing

Quote:

Hello

You are not my God okay, I cannot beg you or beg Father Ed either, so both of you are not my God. you are not the one that gives life but only God.

You don,t care to know the situation of things here because all you care is for me to do what you said for you so my own opinion does not matter to you and Father Ed, so that is lack of respect to me.

You people don,t respect me always want me to respect you and my own message does not matter to you only your own message matters.

Like i said i am not begging you or Father Ed too, he has make his decision and i receive it, since he cannot ask me what happen and he decided to take his decision. so for me it is lack of respect for my side.

They said respect is reciprocal so if you give me respect then i will return the respect back to you.

There is so many place i can serve God okay, and you cannot stop me there too.

I am not interested on your $45,000 or whatsoever but just want to serve God that gives me life everyday not because of your $45,000.

Thank you for your time.

Regards,
Mr.Elmo

We have nothing to gain from this lazy and incapable idiot.
We knew from the beginning that he would do nothing (we had previous stories when he refused to meet Mary / Mabel), but we were pleased to waste his time and give him false hopes. Twisted Evil