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 Plastered Proverbs

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Yastreb
Common Street Thawth Vergabon


Joined: 04 Apr 2006
Posts: 17011
Location: Leading my wolf pack


PostPosted: Fri Nov 15, 2019 1:58 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

In recent times I've started using mutated versions of popular figures of speech in baits - cf the following examples.

I don't know him from a hole in the soap.

It isn't rocket surgery.

Are you jerking my leg?

I’m sorry to burst your parade.


Now I'm thinking of proverb mashups where famous proverbs are paired up, broken up and reassembled without actually losing any words in the process - such as these...

You can't pour water from a dead horse.
There's no point flogging an empty vessel.

Needs must as the fat lady sings.
It ain’t over until the devil drives.

Making a silk purse out of a golden egg.
Don’t kill the goose that laid the sow's ear.


Anyone else...?

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Son of a bitch!!! Your dead!!! Everything about your stinking poor life is dead!!! Get off my way you son of a bitch mother ....a man without father bastard....your harlot mother got your fuckin pregnant by the road side were she went hawking for men to fuck her stinking pussy...your dead Ok

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Kitty La Gore
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Joined: 03 Feb 2014
Posts: 4584
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PostPosted: Fri Nov 15, 2019 9:10 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I'll definitely be thinking of something to add to this! In the meantime, I always say "pissed on" instead of "pissed off" when berating the lads for something.

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bikeatl77
419Eater is my life


Joined: 17 Nov 2018
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Location: Sudden Valley


PostPosted: Fri Nov 15, 2019 9:50 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I remember a funny one that one of Hector's temple handlers used to remind him to keep his big mouth shut: "loose lips sink tug boats!". I also get a good laugh when certain ditzy baiting characters tell their lads that they are "cornfused" by something. Good times.
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Yastreb
Common Street Thawth Vergabon


Joined: 04 Apr 2006
Posts: 17011
Location: Leading my wolf pack


PostPosted: Fri Nov 15, 2019 10:31 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

^ Inspiration there...

Loose lips make light work.
Many hands sink ships.

_________________
Son of a bitch!!! Your dead!!! Everything about your stinking poor life is dead!!! Get off my way you son of a bitch mother ....a man without father bastard....your harlot mother got your fuckin pregnant by the road side were she went hawking for men to fuck her stinking pussy...your dead Ok

Spindrift - Pretty Rose
United Kingdom x5 Spain New Zealand Senegal Ghana x2 Benin Closed lad accounts x 232
Safari x 5 - Oyenka Chidinma Lagos-Cotonou; Dickyboi Lagos-Accra; Femmy Lagos-Porto Novo; "Woody" Accra-Singapore; Henry Philip Abuja-Natitingou w/MG & DSW
Sand Timer x 7: Dufus & Abavana/Capt Joseph Annan/Victor Walla/Ohene Agyekum/James Jeffrey/Peace Akpobor & John Mensah/Tony Kalaby & Addo Gilbert
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braintoxic
Master of Master Baiters


Joined: 05 Jan 2017
Posts: 789


PostPosted: Sat Nov 16, 2019 4:55 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I think I first noticed you doing that in the "Merry bait"


Cammy wrote
You said he's a "little boy." Now you tell me he's just five years younger than me! Are you jerking my leg?

Lad wrote
I am not jerking your legs okay, but 21 years is a little boy right...


I love these subtle/not so subtle nuggets in a bait, I often forget what I'm reading or where I was in a bait bit I absolutely love when baiters throw in a little nonsense, tbh this kinda thing is why I keep coming back for more.

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Yastreb
Common Street Thawth Vergabon


Joined: 04 Apr 2006
Posts: 17011
Location: Leading my wolf pack


PostPosted: Sat Nov 16, 2019 7:32 am Reply with quoteBack to top

If a tree falls in the forest, and no-one is there to hear it, the one eyed man is king.
In the country of the blind, does it make a sound?

How long is the head of a pin?
How many angels can dance on a piece of string?

_________________
Son of a bitch!!! Your dead!!! Everything about your stinking poor life is dead!!! Get off my way you son of a bitch mother ....a man without father bastard....your harlot mother got your fuckin pregnant by the road side were she went hawking for men to fuck her stinking pussy...your dead Ok

Spindrift - Pretty Rose
United Kingdom x5 Spain New Zealand Senegal Ghana x2 Benin Closed lad accounts x 232
Safari x 5 - Oyenka Chidinma Lagos-Cotonou; Dickyboi Lagos-Accra; Femmy Lagos-Porto Novo; "Woody" Accra-Singapore; Henry Philip Abuja-Natitingou w/MG & DSW
Sand Timer x 7: Dufus & Abavana/Capt Joseph Annan/Victor Walla/Ohene Agyekum/James Jeffrey/Peace Akpobor & John Mensah/Tony Kalaby & Addo Gilbert
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Fridge
Master of Master Baiters


Joined: 18 Jan 2011
Posts: 796
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PostPosted: Sat Nov 16, 2019 9:23 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I call it rocket geography lol

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Fridge
Master of Master Baiters


Joined: 18 Jan 2011
Posts: 796
Location: Inside My Kleins


PostPosted: Sat Nov 16, 2019 9:25 am Reply with quoteBack to top

And i actually did hear a tree fall in the forest once. I also saw it. So did the deer that ran away from it Shocked

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"no one has ever made my life so complicated." Lawyer lad.
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Yastreb
Common Street Thawth Vergabon


Joined: 04 Apr 2006
Posts: 17011
Location: Leading my wolf pack


PostPosted: Sat Nov 16, 2019 12:29 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

People who live in glass houses blame their tools.
Bad workmen shouldn’t throw stones.

_________________
Son of a bitch!!! Your dead!!! Everything about your stinking poor life is dead!!! Get off my way you son of a bitch mother ....a man without father bastard....your harlot mother got your fuckin pregnant by the road side were she went hawking for men to fuck her stinking pussy...your dead Ok

Spindrift - Pretty Rose
United Kingdom x5 Spain New Zealand Senegal Ghana x2 Benin Closed lad accounts x 232
Safari x 5 - Oyenka Chidinma Lagos-Cotonou; Dickyboi Lagos-Accra; Femmy Lagos-Porto Novo; "Woody" Accra-Singapore; Henry Philip Abuja-Natitingou w/MG & DSW
Sand Timer x 7: Dufus & Abavana/Capt Joseph Annan/Victor Walla/Ohene Agyekum/James Jeffrey/Peace Akpobor & John Mensah/Tony Kalaby & Addo Gilbert
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bikeatl77
419Eater is my life


Joined: 17 Nov 2018
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Location: Sudden Valley


PostPosted: Sat Nov 16, 2019 12:51 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Can you do one about getting into heaven and shoving a camel through the eye of a needle? It's a rather messy proposition if you ask me.
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windypops
Cool Trick


Joined: 25 Jan 2005
Posts: 6026
Location: Planet X


PostPosted: Sat Nov 16, 2019 3:15 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

A bird in the hand gathers no moss

Don't put all your eggs before the horse

Every dog has a silver lining

If it ain’t broke, do as the Romans do

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windypops
Cool Trick


Joined: 25 Jan 2005
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PostPosted: Sat Nov 16, 2019 3:33 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

The squeaky wheel is mightier than the sword

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Juan Freizwidatt
Baiting Guru


Joined: 18 Apr 2004
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PostPosted: Sat Nov 16, 2019 4:24 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Hilarious stuff! I used to mash up sayings all the time in the old Shorty bait. It was a fun form of de-education. I don't remember any off the top of my head. Maybe I'll just go back and re-read the 1,000 or so pages of that bait. Laughing

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MrMystery314
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Joined: 13 Dec 2014
Posts: 1869
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PostPosted: Sat Nov 16, 2019 5:10 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Not quite the question being asked, but as my church character, I love shoehorning completely random Bible verses into my conversations; I found a website (bibledice.com) that chooses random verses, and as it turns out, it's pretty easy to fit anything into context if you try hard enough. I think at some point the current church lad may have called me out for my interesting choices of verses, but the lads don't mind.
Quote:
Many hands sink ships

I'm stealing that.

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Fryer
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Joined: 15 Mar 2008
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PostPosted: Sat Nov 16, 2019 5:38 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Once bitten, twice fried!

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Zombini
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Joined: 17 Apr 2019
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PostPosted: Sat Nov 16, 2019 5:58 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Don't bite the foot that kicks the ball off?

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Yastreb
Common Street Thawth Vergabon


Joined: 04 Apr 2006
Posts: 17011
Location: Leading my wolf pack


PostPosted: Sun Nov 17, 2019 1:05 am Reply with quoteBack to top

The early bird has no turning
It’s a long road that gets the worm

A rolling stone has no turning.
It’s a long road that gathers no moss.

_________________
Son of a bitch!!! Your dead!!! Everything about your stinking poor life is dead!!! Get off my way you son of a bitch mother ....a man without father bastard....your harlot mother got your fuckin pregnant by the road side were she went hawking for men to fuck her stinking pussy...your dead Ok

Spindrift - Pretty Rose
United Kingdom x5 Spain New Zealand Senegal Ghana x2 Benin Closed lad accounts x 232
Safari x 5 - Oyenka Chidinma Lagos-Cotonou; Dickyboi Lagos-Accra; Femmy Lagos-Porto Novo; "Woody" Accra-Singapore; Henry Philip Abuja-Natitingou w/MG & DSW
Sand Timer x 7: Dufus & Abavana/Capt Joseph Annan/Victor Walla/Ohene Agyekum/James Jeffrey/Peace Akpobor & John Mensah/Tony Kalaby & Addo Gilbert
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Connie L. Gus
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Joined: 07 Oct 2005
Posts: 7131
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PostPosted: Sun Nov 17, 2019 1:18 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Just got off the line with a lad that told me that he was unable to pick up the funds.

I told him he was being so negative. Saying he could not do something will make it impossible to do it. Its self fulfilling progeny.

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Yastreb
Common Street Thawth Vergabon


Joined: 04 Apr 2006
Posts: 17011
Location: Leading my wolf pack


PostPosted: Sun Nov 17, 2019 2:01 am Reply with quoteBack to top

How about a couple of mashed-up Nigerian proverbs?

A fly that has no counsellor should not eat dog-meat soup.
He who abhors dog meat follows the corpse to the grave.

When sleep becomes enjoyable, the ground becomes a nuisance.
When the fowl farts, we snore.

_________________
Son of a bitch!!! Your dead!!! Everything about your stinking poor life is dead!!! Get off my way you son of a bitch mother ....a man without father bastard....your harlot mother got your fuckin pregnant by the road side were she went hawking for men to fuck her stinking pussy...your dead Ok

Spindrift - Pretty Rose
United Kingdom x5 Spain New Zealand Senegal Ghana x2 Benin Closed lad accounts x 232
Safari x 5 - Oyenka Chidinma Lagos-Cotonou; Dickyboi Lagos-Accra; Femmy Lagos-Porto Novo; "Woody" Accra-Singapore; Henry Philip Abuja-Natitingou w/MG & DSW
Sand Timer x 7: Dufus & Abavana/Capt Joseph Annan/Victor Walla/Ohene Agyekum/James Jeffrey/Peace Akpobor & John Mensah/Tony Kalaby & Addo Gilbert
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vonpaso xlura
Different and Distinctive


Joined: 10 Apr 2011
Posts: 13763
Location: Bertcad, Lojbanistan


PostPosted: Sun Nov 17, 2019 4:47 am Reply with quoteBack to top

The milkmaid must not drink on the bearskin before the chickens hatch.
This is spliced from three different proverbs in three different languages that all mean the same thing.

Make an elephant out of a molehill.
Make a mountain out of a fly.

Greek or Russian spliced with English.

The mend justifies the jeans.

If wishes were horses, Paris would be in a bottle.
With ifs, beggars would ride.

French spliced with English, neither of which makes sense to me.

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you are a fake people so do not ever write to me again.
Am mad at you right now ... Am tired of your questions ... Am sick and tire you and your bank
Nigerian pig . go swallow a grenade idiot. Boko Haram will solve your problem idiot .
you are big fool by send a fake payment information and never you contact me again asshole .
your passgae bearing your ATM CATD ... Ant Terrorist Certificate ... legal verterbrate ... expartiate your meaning ... gets to your dwaignted address ... successful ofghw transfer
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Yastreb
Common Street Thawth Vergabon


Joined: 04 Apr 2006
Posts: 17011
Location: Leading my wolf pack


PostPosted: Sun Nov 17, 2019 10:56 am Reply with quoteBack to top

A rolling stone makes light work.
Many hands gather no moss.

A rolling stone saves nine.
A stitch in time gathers no moss.

_________________
Son of a bitch!!! Your dead!!! Everything about your stinking poor life is dead!!! Get off my way you son of a bitch mother ....a man without father bastard....your harlot mother got your fuckin pregnant by the road side were she went hawking for men to fuck her stinking pussy...your dead Ok

Spindrift - Pretty Rose
United Kingdom x5 Spain New Zealand Senegal Ghana x2 Benin Closed lad accounts x 232
Safari x 5 - Oyenka Chidinma Lagos-Cotonou; Dickyboi Lagos-Accra; Femmy Lagos-Porto Novo; "Woody" Accra-Singapore; Henry Philip Abuja-Natitingou w/MG & DSW
Sand Timer x 7: Dufus & Abavana/Capt Joseph Annan/Victor Walla/Ohene Agyekum/James Jeffrey/Peace Akpobor & John Mensah/Tony Kalaby & Addo Gilbert
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MorganleFay
Elite Baiter


Joined: 28 Mar 2015
Posts: 1859


PostPosted: Sun Nov 17, 2019 5:47 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

These are all priceless! Love them

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Yastreb
Common Street Thawth Vergabon


Joined: 04 Apr 2006
Posts: 17011
Location: Leading my wolf pack


PostPosted: Sun Nov 17, 2019 10:25 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Don’t cry over the messenger.
Don’t shoot spilled milk.

Don’t put all your eggs before the horse.
Don’t put the cart in one basket.

_________________
Son of a bitch!!! Your dead!!! Everything about your stinking poor life is dead!!! Get off my way you son of a bitch mother ....a man without father bastard....your harlot mother got your fuckin pregnant by the road side were she went hawking for men to fuck her stinking pussy...your dead Ok

Spindrift - Pretty Rose
United Kingdom x5 Spain New Zealand Senegal Ghana x2 Benin Closed lad accounts x 232
Safari x 5 - Oyenka Chidinma Lagos-Cotonou; Dickyboi Lagos-Accra; Femmy Lagos-Porto Novo; "Woody" Accra-Singapore; Henry Philip Abuja-Natitingou w/MG & DSW
Sand Timer x 7: Dufus & Abavana/Capt Joseph Annan/Victor Walla/Ohene Agyekum/James Jeffrey/Peace Akpobor & John Mensah/Tony Kalaby & Addo Gilbert
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crashhoot
Moderator


Joined: 08 Aug 2004
Posts: 3966
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PostPosted: Sun Nov 17, 2019 11:27 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

You can tune a piano but you can't make it drink.
You can lead a horse to water but you can't tuna fish.

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vonpaso xlura
Different and Distinctive


Joined: 10 Apr 2011
Posts: 13763
Location: Bertcad, Lojbanistan


PostPosted: Mon Nov 18, 2019 3:48 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Cross the stream at its weakest link.
A chain is only as strong as it is shallow.


All roads get the Greece.
The squeaky wheel leads to roam.

_________________
Easter Egg 2012 United Kingdom×12 United States×3 Russia×3 CanadaNigeriaGermanyMalaysiaNetherlandsAustraliaTogo
United KingdomUnited KingdomCanada unwashed
Closed lad accounts×163
×186
Safari Accra - SH Cotonou
you are a fake people so do not ever write to me again.
Am mad at you right now ... Am tired of your questions ... Am sick and tire you and your bank
Nigerian pig . go swallow a grenade idiot. Boko Haram will solve your problem idiot .
you are big fool by send a fake payment information and never you contact me again asshole .
your passgae bearing your ATM CATD ... Ant Terrorist Certificate ... legal verterbrate ... expartiate your meaning ... gets to your dwaignted address ... successful ofghw transfer
View user's profileSend private messageSend e-mail
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