I'll take you to the candy shop NSFW!

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Posted: Thu Dec 26, 2019 6:57 am

Thursday

08.00 - Akwoud to Johnny:

Quote:

As Salamu Alaykum, mister Johnny!

Our company is no longer responsible for this delivery, just as I told you in my prevous messages. In the last days I have tried to contact you many times, but it seems that you have ignored all my messages. Exactly as you requested, your parcel was taken over by Mr. Robert Omozali from Lagos. You will meet him in the afternoon at the airport Murtala Mahommed, as we decided.

I also gave him your biometric pictures so he can easily identify you. To be honest, we both laughed loudly at those pictures of yours and he said you look like a little circus monkey with thin legs and big head. I confirmed to him that you are not better with the intellectual side and I explained that you are just an illiterate young boy who is not able to read and understand more than 2-3 lines in a message. He laughed again and said he would leave the package to one of his drivers, who will meet with you for delivery.

This is the email address of Mr. Omozali [email protected] ; and he is waiting for you to contact him.
I hope everything is as you wished and that these Holidays brought much joy to you!

Mash'Allah!
Akwoud

- The package was taken over by a rich Nigerian client (Mr. Omozali) who has a very kind driver (the wellknown JooJoo). Laughing

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Mar 2015 Posts: 1916

LOL!
It would be so nice if this ghastly child could have so many hard slaps that he won't want to raise his head above the parapet for a good century.

🤣🤣🤣

Posted: Thu Dec 26, 2019 1:15 pm

^^^ LOL, our boy is suffering. Laughing

11.58 - Johnny to Akwoud:

Quote:

You're very stupid for that is your family that can't read stupid man are you stupid???

- Johnny to Mr. Omozali (that "new" client from Lagos who took over the parcel):

Quote:

And you are you with my parcel?

===

14.10 - Akwoud to our moron:

Quote:

Merry Christmas, little boy!
It seems that you are in a state of happy mind consistent with yours Christian holidays. Good for you! I hope you have already left, because Mr. Omozali's plane lands at Lagos airport at noon at 6.30 pm. But, as I got to know you, you're so stupid that you probably stayed home, with mummy and daddy.

I'm glad I was able to help you and fulfill all your dreams.
Mash'Allah!
Akwoud

Of course, Mr. Omozali will respond to messages only tomorrow. Laughing

===

17.00 - More fun with the lad... he writes to Akwoud. He is upset and frustrated. Laughing

Quote:

You can't read if you can read and your smart you have to bring that to my house address you idiot

- Akwoud:

Quote:

Salam mister Johnny,

Stupid boy, when you agreed to have the parcel taken from us, you accepted that our company no longer has any responsibility. I've told you this many times, but you seem to be an idiot who doesn't understand the words that you read. I do not understand why you continue to communicate with me, after a silence of 4 days. Your mother is sleeping and you stole her phone and now you have internet access, or what?

Your parcel is now in Lagos, in the custody of Mr. Omozali. With him you have to talk about delivery, not with me. I warned him that you're just a spoiled little idiot, so he knows what to expect from you. Your little tricks will have no effect on him, because he has no any obligation to you. If you want your package, you will need to be polite and to keep what you promise. I know it's hard, because you're a fool. Mr. Omozali is a serious man and he will not want to waste his time with your shit.

Merry Christmas,
Akwoud

===

Posted: Thu Dec 26, 2019 7:55 pm

Ugh. This simple little bitch can't even be bothered to string two complete sentences together. So frustrating it must be to deal with this fool. The mental gymnastics required for him to figure out how to leave his own house is probably too difficult for him let alone a trip to one of if not the biggest and busiest city in Africa. The slaps are nice but I think he's so stupid that they don't/can't really sink in. Ignorance truly is bliss...it's like cussing out a goldfish...you scream at them and they just stare back blankly with the same dumb unconcerned look on their face. Maybe a picture of a blinged out lad wearing sunglasses and talking on the phone in front of a pile of money will do the trick. No matter how dumb the lad they all seem to understand when they are chopped...eventually.

Posted: Thu Dec 26, 2019 8:15 pm

^^^ Yeap, sad but true. Very Happy

21.10 - Johnny to Omozali, another message:

Quote:

Good evening

Tomorrow morning, our idiot will be hard slapped. Laughing

Posted: Fri Dec 27, 2019 7:45 am

Friday

08.30 - Mr. Omozali (that rich client from Lagos, who took over the parcel) writes to Johnny:

Quote:

Who are you?
That weak and small nigerian "monkey face" boy whose package I brought yesterday from Douala?

I was waiting for you, one long hour yesterday, at the airport, although the manager Akwoud from Cameroon had already told me that you are an little liar who does not respect anything he says before.
Fuck you! Finally, I have a package for you. Tell me IF and WHEN you want to come and get it. Here in Lagos.

I'll get you in touch with my driver and he'll meet you. At my house, or in the airport, or wherever you want.
The customs documents accompanying the parcel say that inside are 2 last generation Iphones; so the first foolishness you will try with me will be the last one.
I warn you I don't have time for your fucking nonsense.
Okay, little imbecile?

So:
- The parcel is in Lagos,
- Mr. Omozali was waiting for Johnny at the airport, yesterday in the evening.
- Obviously, Mr. Omozali has an extremely bad opinion of Johnny, so things will be funny. Laughing

- Omozali's driver will be the one who will handle the delivery. Yeap, this is Joojoo! Twisted Evil

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Mar 2015 Posts: 1916

^ Oh, my.......LOL

Posted: Sat Dec 28, 2019 6:49 am

Saturday - another "slap day" Laughing

07.45 - Mr. Omozali to Mary (the idiot is in CC):

Quote:

Dear Madam,
My name is Robert Omozali and I am one of the clients of PLog company. I have in my possession a parcel sent by you, to a certain nigerian boy named Stupid Idiot Johnny. The cameroonian regional manager of the shipping company asked me to take this package with me and to meet with Mr. Johnny in Lagos for pickup. The manager Akwoud also told me that this young boy Johnny is an poor idiot and that he respects nothing. This boy Johnny did not come to the meeting he proposed and does not respond to my messages. If he does not come here to take his parcel, please madam give me permission to donate the contents of his parcel to a local orphanage. I don't want to waste my time with an idiot pikin. Maybe you can talk to him about these things.

Best regards,
R. Omozali

===

10.58 - Mary to Omozali (Johnny is in CC):

Quote:

Mr. Omozali,

Thank you did contacting me. It's right, I'm the one who sent the parcel to him but he's not effective in communicating at all so I want to ask you to be patient. If it is clear that he doesn't want the parcel then it will be a lovely idea to donate it to the local orphanage. I wouldn't want to burden you with sending it back to me. It's very generous of you to have taken the parcel with you so he can take it over from you in his own country.

Best regards
Mary

- Omozali to Mary (Johnny is in CC):

Quote:

Dear Madam,
Thank you for the message and for the generous gesture. The parcel will still remain in my custody, as I promised when I accepted this responsibility. If this young man does not understand or wants to communicate, then I will donate the parcel to our reverend who takes care of the local orphans. It is a gesture of Christian generosity that will delight our Savior Jesus Christ.
I'll wait a few more days.

Best regards,
R. Omozali

===

It seems that our boy is trying to avoid the trip to Lagos.
Mary and Johnny:

Posted: Mon Dec 30, 2019 9:20 am

Monday

09.18 - Our boy was silent with me, so Mr. Omozali writes to Mary (Johnny's in CC):

Quote:

Dear Madam,
Let me tell you that I have not received a message from your friend Johnny until now. I don't understand what's going on here. One of my employees is going to spend New Year's Eve with his family in Abuja. Do you think Johnny prefers to take his package from Abuja? Can you ask him? If nothing happens until next week, then I'll ask you to allow me donate the parcel to those who care for local orphans.

Best regards,
R. Omozali

===

11.25 - Few hours later, Mary responds to Mr. Omozali:

Quote:

Mr Omozali,

Thank you for this generous offer. I don't know if he would want this but I'll ask him about it.
If he didn't respond to you with a clear plan before January 7th then I will gladly donate the parcel to the orphanage.
Thank you for your efforts

Best regards
Mary

===

Posted: Mon Dec 30, 2019 8:08 pm

Birlic, Thanks for keeping this updated in my absence.
Here's the chat from the past week. There's not much. I was away and not online very much. Johnny is sulking in self-pity again and being his usual asshole overbearing self

December 25
9:26Mary: Merry Christmas. You could've been here now
11:42 Johnny: Yes baby I could have been there 😭
Just that the parcel company are stressing us
21:26 Mary: I thought you didn't want to talk about them again
Or did you change your mind again
22:30 Johnny: They're such a big idiot they don't know there work if they do they'll find a way and bring my parcel to me
23:19 Mary: You didn't want to talk about the parcel anymore

December 26
8:42 Johnny: Good morning my beautiful Angel
9:07 Mary: Good morning
10:56 Johnny: How are you doing?
14:10 Mary: I'm fine
14:20 Johnny: You told those people that I'm illiterate
That I can't read
And you said you love me
17:17 Mary: I never said that you're illiterate
And yes I do
17:58 Johnny: Then who did
Look don't make me look stupid caused I'm a poor boy
U don't know how it feels to be poor Mary
I haven't eaten since morning no money to buy food either if I asked u to send money using bitcoin or western Union you'll say no
22:17 Mary: I have sent you money. Multiple times but you don't want it. I can't help you if you don't want help
22:57 Johnny: 😥
Send using this method
Let's be together
23:03 Mary: How do you suggest we do that?
Johnny: Send money using western Union
This is the only way I can get to you

December 27
12:50 Mary: And what will be the next excuse? My feet are to tired to go to Western Union to pick it up? Send bitcoin this time?
Not happening. I've sent money the times now. It's enough
15:49 Johnny: Won't be any excuse
16:31 Mary: I heard that before and I'm not going to send you more money. Period
17:30 Johnny: Ever since I've been telling you western Union but you don't listen
18:39 Mary: Like you ever listen to me
I have sent money to that Turkish account twice, I've sent you two iPhones and €10,000 and you're still not satisfied. I'm done sending you money and gifts that you don't want to have anyway
22:22 Johnny: Why you talking all this
23:20 Mary: Because it's the truth
I love you and want to be with you but all you do is complain with everything I do for you
For us
0:17 Johnny: Sorry
If you send this money with western Union Sweetheart if I didn't come then don't talk to me
Western Union is the only way
Trust me

December 28
8:27 Mary: I AM NOT SENDING MONEY AGAIN
THERE'S FUCKING €10,000 IN THE PARCEL. IF THAT'S NOT ENOUGH THEN FUCK IT
13:42 Johnny: Then let them bring it to my house
Told you send to my address and they didn't wtf you want me to do
I've done enough by proving I love you I never knee I was in love with someone who's insulting me
Mary: You asked them to bring it to Lagos and they did
What do you expect when you keep saying different things. I can't tell them anything anymore. The parcel is in Lagos now with that mister Omozali and you'll have to arrange with him how you'll get the parcel. It's out of my hands now
22:06 Mary: Ignoring me again. Classic
0:14 Johnny: They're insulting me just did way you're insulting me

December 29
7:49 Johnny: You know what you told them thanks for the insult
9:40 Mary: How? What did I do wrong this time?

December 30
9:04 Johnny: Continued
I've been insult alot
If u wan me if u need me I'll known
9:42 Mary: I don't understand you
19:51 Johnny: Ok
Mary: ?
I told that mister Omozali, who took your parcel to lagos, like you wanted that he can give it to the orphanage next week if you don't have any plans to take it from him
Johnny: <missed call>
Answer the call
Mary: No
Johnny: Ok
Let them give it to the orphanage fine with me
If you want to send me a gift you'll follow my lead not by going to do what I don't know do what I understand you just don't want to do it
Mary: He offered to bring it with his driver to Abuja, did you see that?
That's closer right?
And for the record, I'm not sending anything ever again. If you do not want this, then we're done
Understood?

Posted: Mon Dec 30, 2019 9:36 pm

Quote:

If you want to send me a gift you'll follow my lead not by going to do what I don't know do what I understand you just don't want to do it

Huh? I think he's overdone it on the Christmas sherry Shocked

Posted: Mon Dec 30, 2019 11:44 pm

I think he has been sniffing some stuff he shouldn't have been sniffing

Johnny: From abuja to Lagos?
Mary: No, it's in Lagos now, his driver will bring it to Abuja
Johnny: Okay abuja is not far from delta
Once it gets to abuja there's no problem I just don't have transport to go there you know all this
Mary: Then tell him to bring it to Abuja and find a way to get it from there
Johnny: I don't have money to transport there
Except you'll buy me iTunes card I'll sell it and transport there baby but I know you don't trust me
Mary: It's not a matter of trust. I've sent enough money now
And you said you didn't want ITunes, we closed that topic I"m not sending you more money
I've sent more than enough
Johnny: Trust me on this one
Without money I can't go there and pay taxi you know
Mary: Taxi's are expensive. isn't there a bus?
Johnny: Yes very expensive you know how hard my country is this
Mary: bus johnny I'm asking if there's a bus
What are you? The president that you need private transportation?
You can have all that when you're here
Johnny: No babe😂
Yes it is a bus they'll drop you in every bus stop then you'll enter another bus that's how they transport here till I'll reach there
Mary: cool. That's settled then. works that way in every country and it's not expensive
Johnny: I don't have the money now wtf will I do baby
Mary: try to borrow it?

Posted: Tue Dec 31, 2019 6:08 am

Tuesday

This moron will never travel anywhere!
He is young, inexperienced, has no friends with money and no one to borrow from.
We have considered this possibility from the beginning, but we are pleased to offer upset and frustration to the little idiot. Laughing

===

00.48 - Mary to Mr. Omozali:

Quote:

Mr. Omozali,

He has confirmed that Abuja is closer to him than Lagos, so I want to ask you to have your driver bring the parcel there tomorrow to make it easier for him to retrieve it.
Thank you for your trouble and I want to wish you a pleasant new years eve and blessings for the new year.

Kind regards,
Mary

06.59 - Omozali to Mary and Johnny:

Quote:

Dear Madam,
Sure, of course, no problem for me. My employee's name is Obi Joojoo (John) and his email address is [email protected] .
Tell your friend Johnny to contact Joojoo and arrange all the delivery's details between them directly.
Madam, let me tell I wish you a wonderful New Year's Eve in advance.

Best regards,
R. Omozali

===

08.00 - Joojoo to Johnny:

Quote:

AM JOOJOO AND MA BOSS OMOZALI GAVE MI A PARSEL FO YU
AM WIL STAY WIDH MA FAMELEY IN KWAMBA ABUJA TIL SUNDEY
MA BOSS SAID DAHT YU LIV NEAER ABUJA AND AM NEED TO MEET YU FO DELIVER PARSEL
AM WIL COM HOME TONIGT AND AM WIL CHEK MA MASSAJES

===

Wannabe Baiter Joined: 28 Oct 2018 Posts: 90

Joojoo kicks ass... so awesome.

Posted: Tue Dec 31, 2019 8:01 am

^^ I agree, I am glad that JooJoo (at least in some incarnation) survived "The Purge" Very Happy

Posted: Tue Dec 31, 2019 8:09 am

^^^

- Joojoo is more than just a simple character... he resists, transforms and reinvents himself. Twisted Evil

- In this case, our Johnny is the kind of non-cooperative and non-communicative lad and we don't have much fun with him.
- Surely he is suffering and frustrated... even if he refuses to travel to Abuja (so we won't be able to get a Safari), I will try to propose that Joojoo go to Otukpo and deliver the package to Johnny's door. Laughing

Posted: Tue Dec 31, 2019 9:08 am

We knew from the start that the chances of getting a safari from this idiot were slim to none, but frustrating a lad is always good and his silence just tells me that he is very much frustrated.

Yesterday evening, very late:

Johnny: Wtf you think they'll give it to me hell no they won't
Mary: You can't ask anybody a few dollars for a bus ticket which you can pay back as soon as you have the parcel yet you asked me to send money, send money again, send more money, send iPhones, send more money
Be real
Borrow a few dollars. I looked it up and noticed busses over there are cheap

Master Baiter Joined: 02 Feb 2019 Posts: 163

Very little schmoosing and wooing from him these days. Just a lot of demands and no more love talk. This lad has a very simple mind, if any. Sad little turd.

Posted: Tue Dec 31, 2019 2:46 pm

No matter how this ends up, this lad deserves to be added to the Lollipop mailing list.

Posted: Tue Dec 31, 2019 3:43 pm

^^^ LOL!

14.00 - Johnny writes to JooJoo:

Quote:

Good can you now bring it to warri? Delta state

Linoline suspects Johnny has some relatives in Warri... obviously, my JooJoo can go anywhere. Laughing

===

16.37 - Joojoo writes to our lad:

Quote:

DO YU MEAN DHA TOWN OF WARRI ON DHA ROUT LINKED BENIN CITY TO PORT HARCOUR ?
MA FREND IZ A LONG LONG WEY FROM ABUJA UHERE MA PARENTS LIVE
AM SHULD BI PAID WELL WELL TU COM DHERE IN WARRI OK ?
AR YU DHERE ? AM KNOW WELL WELL HOW YU LIKE BECUSE MA BOSS GAV MI SOM PICTURS OF YU

Posted: Tue Dec 31, 2019 8:54 pm

Every time he comes online, he disappears before i have the chance to respond. He's nervous and frustrated I believe

Johnny: I don't have money and bus people will take me straight to abuja free?? Are you OK do you think in Nigeria they do things free? Ain't no way I can borrow money caused I'm not working if you want me to have this parcel do what I'm telling you
Mary: I'm not sending money again
my money is in the parcel
all €10000 of it
you can tell that when you try to borrow some, you can pay them back as soon as you're back home
you don't even need money for a return ticket just a single trip
how much can that possibly be
Johnny: $200 iTunes gift card will take me there and return I'll sell the cards they'll give me money then I'll start the journey
Mary: Okay
then try get one of those

Master Baiter Joined: 02 Feb 2019 Posts: 163

Yep...try to get one of those. Idiot. Well played.

Posted: Wed Jan 01, 2020 3:22 pm

Wednesday

Just for fun and to put the idiot in an embarrassing situation... JooJoo writes to his boss Omozali:

Quote:

BOSS DHA MAN OTOWULA SAID AM SHOULD GO TO WARRI DELTA STATE BUT HE NO NO RESPND TO MASSAJES
UHAT DO YU THINK AM SHULD DO ?

Mr. Omozali, forwarded the message to Mary and Johnny:

Quote:

Dear Madam,
It seems that your friend just wants to mock us. Did you manage to get in touch with him?
After requesting delivery to Lagos, then Abuja... now he just asks my employee to go to Warri city, in Delta State.

Best regards,
R. Omozali

In these moments, Johnny is regarded as an idiot who changes his intentions with each email.
He'll probably have some explanations to give to Mary. Laughing

Posted: Wed Jan 01, 2020 9:14 pm

3:36 Johnny: You never understand things about my country thanks
9:09 Mary: Happy new year
10:38 Johnny: Same to you baby
13:15 Mary: Will you ever be here?
13:39 Mary: What is going on? Why are you asking them to bring the parcel to whether city and again not responding?
Explain please. Are you playing some stupid game here?

22:08 Mary to Omozali and Johnny

Quote:

Mr. Omozali,

I have contacted him immediately when I received your message but until now I haven't heard back from him. I'm very sorry for this inconvenience. I seriously do not know what to do right now, so I just hope that he will soon tell either you or me what it is that he wants. If I hear an answer from him, I'll let you know.

Kind regards,
Mary

Posted: Thu Jan 02, 2020 8:25 am

Thursday

09.25 - JooJoo likes Johnny. Laughing

Quote:

AM WISH YU MANY MANY POROSPEROS YEAERS OOOHHHHH
TEL MI UHAT YU DECIDED ABOT DHA PACKAJ
AM LIKE YU AND TINK WI CAN COM TO NICE AGRIEMENET OK ?

10.15 - Johnny:

Quote:

Yes, I am fine. Take it to warri I'll meet you there warri udu road your boss or Cameroon people have my picture

===

12.00 - JooJoo to Johnny:

Quote:

GIVE MI EZACT ADRES AND TEL MI UHEN YU WIL BE DHERE
AM HAV YUR PICTURS AND AM KNOW YU LOOK
YU AAR VERY NICE AN AM TINK EVRYONE LIKES YU

===

19.30 - Omozali to Mary (the lad is in CC):

Quote:

Dear Madam,
I don't know what to say about your friend's weird behavior. He acts as if he wants to kidnap my employee.
This boy Johnny does not communicate at all and does not provide any delivery details. Remember Madam, my man JooJoo just wants to make a nice gesture and everything is based on the generosity with which I agreed to bring this package to Nigeria. I should have taken into account the warning the Cameroon manager made about this idiot boy. Hmm, is my mistake!
My employee JooJoo is leaving Monday morning from Abuja to Lagos, and it is likely that Tuesday we will donate the package to the local orphanage.

Best regards,
R. Omozali

===

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