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 Fishy business still going strong.

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Mr Dapper
Master of Master Baiters


Joined: 30 Apr 2017
Posts: 797


PostPosted: Sat Oct 19, 2019 5:07 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Found this strangely inventive email from my dear Fish Lad's alter ego Miss Elastic waiting for me this morning and it made me wonder if there's any truth to "her" story. All I hope if it's true is it's another baiter playing the part of the female UK soldier and not a real victim.

Quote:
But sir what about the money have you send it to him?, and if I may suggest I will tell you to send him the money so that he will make use of it till the package arrived because his will like to come back with the package because he want to get married to a female UK soldier this Xmas and the girl is coming to Nigeria to see his parents according to Fish Lad he said that the girl planning to take up the matter to her self and Fish Lad has sent your picture to his brother because the soldier ask him if you have give him anything after the work and he said no so what you will do now is to ask Fish Lad of an account so that you can send a small money to him even it is £5000 -£10,000 is okay so that when the soldier ask him if you have give him he say yes because according to him he said that when they get to your that you will pay all the money completely and Fish Lad send your address to them, so is up to you if you want to wonthe case now send him small money so that you will not any problemwith them because they are waiting for Fish Lad to give the other to go to your address now so be careful of what you do now


For those of you who don't know who Fish Lad is, he can be found in the thread below from page 3 onward, just keep clicking. Laughing

https://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=300450&start=50&postdays=0&postorder=asc&highlight=

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Jack Boot Closed lad accounts A few

"Animal of your type" - Suggestions accepted

"Please go and hit your penis on the wall or you look for your kind i don't have time for big choppers." - Ouch!

"We give the rules here not you sir." - Of course you do laddie.

"We have never had to deal with a client like you." - Thanks for the compliment.
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Connie L. Gus
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Joined: 07 Oct 2005
Posts: 7086
Location: Somewhere over the rainbow


PostPosted: Sat Oct 19, 2019 6:52 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Just another scam by your lad to try and get money from you.
This is on page 6 of the contest thread. I love how the period key on his phone is broken.

Quote:
I can see you don't want to send the money all you want is my photograph, i know you will not send it that yesterday that why you don't want to get back to me on time but no problem if you don't send the money as you said you will not like what will happen because i have play my roll and you are now playing with me all you do is today and tomorrow and i have spent all the money i have in the name of sending you all photograph so i will wait till the day you said but if i did not get the money you will see my the other side of me

Quote:
But at list I should have the money by now and you you are the person that I know you have to understand me you told me you make the payment 3days ago yet nothing happen you said yesterday nothing happen now is Monday and I told you I open a new shop and am trying to use all my money to pay my friends that work with me and I haven't get anything from you is not good you know that do you want me to die before you will send the money to me or is it because I have give you what you want from me that is you are doing all this, I know you are trying but you have to try more and more so that I will get the money please, am sorry the way I talk to you is just that am no longer happy the way this is going now

Quote:
My dear friend don't allowed her it might be setup by your friend to know what you will do or so that the girl will take money out from you the only thing you will do is that you will call you friend and ask her about the girl then I know he will tell you the reason why she packed out from his house after that then you will give her transport that will take her back to her place because what she did to your friend she will do it for you and ran to another person house again, so about the today's payment how will it go

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Mr Dapper
Master of Master Baiters


Joined: 30 Apr 2017
Posts: 797


PostPosted: Sat Oct 19, 2019 8:13 am Reply with quoteBack to top

^ But surely questions need to be asked? Laughing

_________________
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Jack Boot Closed lad accounts A few

"Animal of your type" - Suggestions accepted

"Please go and hit your penis on the wall or you look for your kind i don't have time for big choppers." - Ouch!

"We give the rules here not you sir." - Of course you do laddie.

"We have never had to deal with a client like you." - Thanks for the compliment.
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Mr Dapper
Master of Master Baiters


Joined: 30 Apr 2017
Posts: 797


PostPosted: Sun Oct 20, 2019 4:44 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Fish Lad turning up the heat.

Yesterday 16:21

Quote:
My dear don't allow me to do something crazy (the crazier the better as far as I'm concerned), is like it is the right time for me to hand this matter over you guess what you will not like it, if I do so I worn you for the last time go and send me some money on money morning before 12noon or
Good bye


I think Fish Lad means Monday morning, but unfortunately Cyril has seen neither of the last two emails yet due to circumstances Fish Lad already knows about so who knows what time he'll get back?

Flashback to Friday

Cyril to Fish Lad 05:08

Quote:
Fish Lad

What are you talking about, there's a package here waiting to be picked up by Enama. I really don't understand why you are making such a simple task so difficult. After all it was your idea to have your brother collect the package not mine. I'll let you think about whether you're picking it up or not, but I'm afraid you won't be able to do it until Monday now because Linda and I are off to London for the weekend. Linda only went and ordered two tickets for The Phantom of the Opera on Saturday evening. I personally can't stand bloody musicals, but I've agreed to go just to keep Linda happy. Anyway, you and Enama have a good think about the package over the weekend and let me know your decision about it on Monday. I must get on now, I've a few things to sort out here at the warehouse before Linda and I set off for the City at lunch time.

Toodle-pip

Cyril


Cyril to Miss Elastic 05:25

Quote:
Elastic my dear

Sorry to say that the package is still sitting here in the warehouse, and I'm not sure if Fish Lads brother will ever come to pick it up. For some reason he seems worried that I am going to do something bad to him, which is a bit laughable as I'm not the youngest of men. In fact, Fish Lad has seen my photograph so he surely must know I am no threat to Enama, and it's not as if I wanted him to meet me down some dark alley. I had planned to hand over the package outside Brockenhurst railway station so that there would be plenty of people and CCTV about to prevent any underhand shenanigans on my part. Anyway, try not to be to upset my dear, there is still hope that Enama may grow a pair of balls and decide he is a man after all and come and pick the package up on Monday, I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

Toodle-pip

Cyril

_________________
The last word is mine.

Jack Boot Closed lad accounts A few

"Animal of your type" - Suggestions accepted

"Please go and hit your penis on the wall or you look for your kind i don't have time for big choppers." - Ouch!

"We give the rules here not you sir." - Of course you do laddie.

"We have never had to deal with a client like you." - Thanks for the compliment.

Last edited by Mr Dapper on Tue Oct 22, 2019 4:27 am; edited 1 time in total
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Mr Dapper
Master of Master Baiters


Joined: 30 Apr 2017
Posts: 797


PostPosted: Tue Oct 22, 2019 4:11 am Reply with quoteBack to top

More nonsense from Cyril and Fish Lad

Yesterday 12:39 Cyril to Miss Elastic.

Quote:
Elastic my dear

Thanks for the heads up about this UK soldiers plans to come and force me to hand over all of the money that Fish Lad would have earned from his involvement in the Black Face of Africa campaign, but I really don't know how she would achieve that as Fish Lad's share would run into the hundreds of thousands of pounds by now and I don't keep that kind of money laying around the cottage. I'll need to contact Fish Lad about all of this,but I fear it may already be far too late. Unfortunately the little rascal gave me until midday today to to get some money to him or else. I'm not quite sure what he has in mind, but his last email sounded rather threatening. I really don't know how this current problem I'm facing has come about, but in a way a blame you. It was you that advised me not to hand over the £10,000 to Fish Lad's brother along with the packages because you didn't think he could be trusted and now look what's happened. I really don't know what to do, I don't want Fish Lad sending heavies to my door and especially not military trained ones, I think that would scare Linda and the poor sweet thing has already been through so much in her short life. I can only imagine what she must have had to put up with in that damned refugee camp if this how African men carry on, it's no wonder she doesn't like to talk about her time there. How do you cope my dear? it must be hell for you still being over there in Africa. Perhaps I deserve all of this stress Fish Lad is causing me, perhaps this is all some kind of payback for the way I treated you, but you need to understand that Linda was always the one that held that special place in my heart. And had it not been for the Ebola outbreak in Linda's refugee camp I would never have built up your hopes that there may have been a future for you and I. If you don't hear from me again I'm afraid you should accept that the worst case has indeed happened. I really hope it doesn't come to that as I feel I still have so much to live for, so rest assured I will try to make my peace with Fish Lad and sort this whole mess out. Oh! and just so you don't worry too much, Linda and I haven't yet returned to the cottage because I luckily decided to stop off at the office first to check my emails and I thank God I did otherwise who knows what trouble we may have walked into had we gone straight home. Thanks again for the warning my dear, as the saying goes, forewarned is forearmed.

Toodle-pip

Cyril


Cyril to Fish lad 12:47

Quote:
Fish Lad

I know it's probably too late by now and you've already gone and done something crazy because of the deadline you had given passing without any reply. I did tell you Linda and I were away for the weekend so sending out deadlines when you had no idea when we would be back seems a little silly to me. However, that said, if you haven't put your foolish and ill thought out plan into action yet I would ask you to think again about how you are going about all of this. Handing things over to another party is not the way to go about getting this mess sorted out, Neither of us want the police involved in this and I'm sure you don't want to get your fiancee banged up in one of the fine military prisons we have in the UK. Yes that's right Fish Lad, I know all about your fiancee and her offer to do what your brother and you have not had the nerve to do for yourselves. And although I think it's just bluster on your fiance's part, Linda and I shall not be returning to the cottage until everything is sorted out between you and I. I'm just glad that Linda and I stopped by the office and I saw the email from my little snitch that's close to you warning me about your silly plan. So, my friend (and I use the term loosely as I think our friendship is once again on tenuous ground) I need to know if you intend to continue down the path that will end up getting you nothing or if you want your brother to once again try to pick up the packages? I mean, for Christ sake, Croydon is not that far away, we're only talking about a round trip of about 200 miles. I really don't understand why you are allowing this to drag on for so long. I'm sure we both have better things we could be doing with our time, I know I have. Perhaps your fiancee could come along for the ride so she could hold your brothers hand if he's nervous about coming alone. Linda and I really would love to meet the future Mrs Fish Lad. Please try to get back to me as soon as you can and I'm sure we'll be able to work this all out.

Toodle-pip

Cyril


Waiting for Cyril this morning after spending a rather uncomfortable night on a rickety camp bed in his companies office.

Fish Lad 19:50 Yesterday

Quote:
Am sorry I don't think I know what to do now because my brother and his wife to be is taking the matter to another thing that I will not stop them so when they get you you will sort out with them


Whoops! I can see I made a bit of a mistake, It's Fish Lads brother that's marrying the UK soldier not Fish Lad.

And 19:57

Quote:
The only thing you will do now is to send some money to me first thing tomorrow morning so that I will tell them that you have pay me them we will know how to settle if not you will pay all the money when they get you tomorrow and I will not tell the time of they arrive go and send the money I will drop information of how you will send the money now my dear you don't have time for this


And 20:00

Quote:
Here is the WorldRemit information to send the money

Acct number
3081######
acct name Fish Lad
First bank Nigeria
City Lagos Nigeria


And 20:05

Quote:
Go to bank and send the money before 12noon try and get the money or you will face the consequences tomorrow and don't email me when they get you because I will not reply don't say i didn't won you tomorrow 12noon is the deadline good night till tomorrow morning (I'm sure Cyril will have something to say about that)

_________________
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Jack Boot Closed lad accounts A few

"Animal of your type" - Suggestions accepted

"Please go and hit your penis on the wall or you look for your kind i don't have time for big choppers." - Ouch!

"We give the rules here not you sir." - Of course you do laddie.

"We have never had to deal with a client like you." - Thanks for the compliment.
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Mr Dapper
Master of Master Baiters


Joined: 30 Apr 2017
Posts: 797


PostPosted: Tue Oct 22, 2019 8:58 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Cyril replies to Fish Lad and Miss Elastic.

09:00

Quote:
Fish Lad

Are you taking the piss when you wish me a good night, how the fuck do you expect me to have one of them with the threat of imminent attack? Not to mention poor Linda and I having to spend the night here in my office on a couple of old rickety camp beds that I used to used to go camping with my late wife Mary. Luckily Linda is being a tower of strength and has assured me things were far worse in the refugee camp. In fact it's Linda that as said as far as she's concerned we should stay here as long as it takes to work something out with you regarding the packages. So to that end, I'm willing to not only hand the packages over at a location of my choice, but I'm also willing to hand over £10,000 in cash as well. I know that's nowhere near what your share would have been from the Black Face of Africa campaign, but that's the best offer I'm prepared to make. As I've already said, Linda and I are willing to stay at the office as long as this takes. We have cooking facilities in the staff breakroom and a shower in the both the male and female toilets and I can send Lenny off to Waitrose to stock up with provisions should I need to. I really hope it won't come to that and you, your brother and that daft bint he plans to marry will all come to your senses. So let me make this clear, there will be no WorldRemit payment made to your account by 12 noon. The best you can hope for is what I have offered in this email.

Toodle-pip

Cyril


09:27

Quote:
Elastic my dear

Thanks for your concern, but Linda and I are both safe at the office. We spent the night on a couple of camp beds rather than risk going back to the cottage. We probably would have been okay there last night as I have had an a few emails from Fish Lad and in one he said warned me that Enama and that woman of his would be coming for me today. Still, best be on the safe side I suppose, they could already have turned up and be staking the cottage out as I write this. And what with Enama's fiances military skills they could be well camouflage and hiding amongst the trees. There is one thing you could try to find out for me my dear, and that is if Fish Lad has really still got my address. I think I may have given it to him way back when he was pretending to be the director of the FBI who had a ATM card for me. That was of course before he gave up being a scammer and opened his electrical shops. Do you know, I think that was one of my happiest achievements, turning that lost soul into a fine upstanding member of Nigerian society, but now I ask myself how as it all gone so wrong? Anyway, no good dwelling on the past it's the future I need to get sorted out and hopefully if Fish Lad, Enama and that dozy tart of his come to their senses we can have a happy conclusion to this mess today. I'll keep you up dated as things progress, but if you could find out what address if any Fish Lad has that would be wonderful.

Toodle-pip

Cyril


Quick reply from Fish Lad

09:28
Quote:
Do you think you are save at your office? Listen my dear friend don't puch me to do what you will regretas am talking to you now we got your office address through your home address and my dear if you know what is good for you go and send the money before 12noon for you own good and for your information I don't want the package any more all I want is my money and don't think to run out of country because your company will be locked up by the soldier the only thing that will set you free now is to send the money from now to 12noon if not my brother I don't know what eals and you will pay the money completely after today this is the last chance you have


And one sent from Miss Elastic's email address by mistake I think.

09:40
Quote:
Look I explained everything to them how I get you for the first time, so that is not my business, secondly my brother is no longer happy with you now and he is not coming to make peace with you anymore rather to collect all my share so for the last time go and send the money now for you own good hahaha


Damage control by Miss Elastic

09:43
Quote:
This is what Fish Lad tell me now so please hurry and make peace with him please my dear


And Fish Lad again

09:47
Quote:
My brother is not happy with you anymore so when he come to see you i bet you you will not like it at all so go and send the money now or face the problem you cause your self


Well, I need to pop out now, but hopefully I'll find Cyril and Linda safe and well when I return. Rolling Eyes

_________________
The last word is mine.

Jack Boot Closed lad accounts A few

"Animal of your type" - Suggestions accepted

"Please go and hit your penis on the wall or you look for your kind i don't have time for big choppers." - Ouch!

"We give the rules here not you sir." - Of course you do laddie.

"We have never had to deal with a client like you." - Thanks for the compliment.
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Mr Dapper
Master of Master Baiters


Joined: 30 Apr 2017
Posts: 797


PostPosted: Tue Oct 22, 2019 5:03 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Now, where were we?

Fish Lad 11:46

Quote:
What is going on am still waiting for you Mr Cyril


And 16:19

Quote:
I try for you but you don't want to do what I ask you to do right no problem I will d something crazy now


And 16:21

Quote:
Don't email me when it happen


Cyril to Miss Elastic 16:30

Quote:
Elastic my dear

Linda and I are still holed up at the office and we were wondering if you have heard anything new about Fish Lad's plan to get his hands on what he thinks he's owed? The last thing I've just heard from him was that he's going to do something crazy, perhaps he plans to have his brother and his brothers fiancee storm the warehouse in an attempt to get to me. Do you know if it's just Fish Lad's brother and fiancee that Linda and I are up against or have they brought others with them? Everything seems quiet at the moment, but I'm worried that they may make their move once darkness descends. I'm also mindful that I'm dealing with a highly trained military operative and her bumbling sidekick so any help you can give me will be gratefully received. Please try to get back to me as soon as you can with any information you can get on what Linda and I are up against.

Toodle-pip

Cyril


Miss Elastic 16:42

Quote:
According Fish Lad's younger sister she told me this afternoon that Fish Lad is going to bank to send money to the soldier that will come for you and the bad news is that Fish Lad use his shop to take loan so that he can be able to pay the soldier which means there aremore than two so my advice to now is to try all your possible best and send the moneyhe ask you to him


And 16:47

Quote:
Because if he use the money he borrow now and pay them I don't think he will listen to you again


And 17:00

Quote:
I called Fish Lad now and ask him his plan now and he told me that he is not going to kill you or to destroy anything (that's a relief) but he said that you will pay him all the money and you will go prison for one yaer so that you will fill the pain you cause him but he haven't pay the soldier now , so hurry up and send the money to him now so that he will stop them of coming to your office but if you don't want to to do that is your business
Good bye


And 18:03

Quote:
Hello


Cyril to Miss Elastic 18:21

Quote:
Elastic my dear

Don't worry, Linda and I are still okay. What we've decided to do is barricade ourselves inside the warehouse for tonight and try once again to sort this all out tomorrow. Thanks for all of your help today, it really is appreciated. Perhaps the morrow will bring an end to this nightmare that's befallen us.

Toodle-pip

Cyril

_________________
The last word is mine.

Jack Boot Closed lad accounts A few

"Animal of your type" - Suggestions accepted

"Please go and hit your penis on the wall or you look for your kind i don't have time for big choppers." - Ouch!

"We give the rules here not you sir." - Of course you do laddie.

"We have never had to deal with a client like you." - Thanks for the compliment.
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Mr Dapper
Master of Master Baiters


Joined: 30 Apr 2017
Posts: 797


PostPosted: Tue Oct 22, 2019 5:44 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Slow down there Elastic, let's not run away with ourselves.

18:32
Quote:
Okay, But try and sort it tomorrow okay so that you can go back to your house just send the money to him and be free since you have the money the £10,000 will be okay for him for the main time so just send it to him okay


And 18:34
Quote:
I will call him Now and tell him That you will send the money to him tomorrow morning so that he will stop those soldier of coming to you okay


And 18:38
Quote:
So by what time tomorrow will you send the money to him so that I will tell him

_________________
The last word is mine.

Jack Boot Closed lad accounts A few

"Animal of your type" - Suggestions accepted

"Please go and hit your penis on the wall or you look for your kind i don't have time for big choppers." - Ouch!

"We give the rules here not you sir." - Of course you do laddie.

"We have never had to deal with a client like you." - Thanks for the compliment.
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Mr Dapper
Master of Master Baiters


Joined: 30 Apr 2017
Posts: 797


PostPosted: Wed Oct 23, 2019 3:17 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Shoosh! did you hear something?

Cyril 04:09

Quote:
Elastic my dear

How are you this morning my dear? Everything is still quiet outside the warehouse, but even I know the hours just before dawn are the time when Linda and I should expect trouble. Luckily I've been fully awake for a couple of hours now and have not really been able to sleep properly all night not only due to the worry this is causing me, but also because that damned camp bed is so uncomfortable. I'm glad to say Linda is holding up far better than I and is at this moment sleeping like a baby. I suppose considering the life she had until recently all this discomfort and danger is second nature to her. I think if it wasn't for Linda I would have given Fish Lad all he wants by now, but Linda is adamant that he will get nothing if he does not do things our way. I tend to agree with her, and can't understand why he is acting like he is. If his brother and and that blasted soldier are coming anyway why don't they just collect what was already on offer and be done with it. Did Fish Lad tell you that he's told me he doesn't want the package anymore? If he hasn't you should have a word with him, don't forget your laptop, phone and shoes are amongst the stuff Fish Lad wanted. This whole thing is becoming a joke, if it hadn't been for Fish Lad arguing over what type of CCTV system he wanted the package would of been on it's way weeks ago. Anyway, I need to get back to the window now, I'm not sure what I can do against several soldiers, but I intend to go down fighting when they come. Hopefully, God willing, I'll be able to email later and let you know what happened.

Toodle-pip

Cyril

_________________
The last word is mine.

Jack Boot Closed lad accounts A few

"Animal of your type" - Suggestions accepted

"Please go and hit your penis on the wall or you look for your kind i don't have time for big choppers." - Ouch!

"We give the rules here not you sir." - Of course you do laddie.

"We have never had to deal with a client like you." - Thanks for the compliment.
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Linoline
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Joined: 06 Apr 2018
Posts: 3597
Location: In the tulip fields


PostPosted: Wed Oct 23, 2019 6:44 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Let's hope poor Cyril will survive Laughing Laughing

Glad your sharing your bait again. I missed it.

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Mr Dapper
Master of Master Baiters


Joined: 30 Apr 2017
Posts: 797


PostPosted: Wed Oct 23, 2019 8:58 am Reply with quoteBack to top

^Thanks, but I'm surpried if you'll be able to find the time to read any more once all those P.E.R.Vs start queuing up for your attention, but just in case you do here's what Cyril has just found waiting for him.

I love this Lad, he's as nutty as I am. Laughing

Miss Elastic 06:30
Quote:
Good morning I talk to him last night and he tell all the soldier to hold on untill this morning so let Linda mo put you in trouble by telling you not to send the money to him do you want to lose your company or do you want to pay all the money completely art like a man and go send him that small money you are still on gain so why do listening to a woman if Fish Lad send those soldier to you now they wil not touch the girl you know and if they arrest you and take you to prison the girl run to another man try and be wiser, Fish Lad is very angry with you now am the one holding him now because i told him that you will send the money this morning, besides the money you want to send to him now is not to you and is not up to his share so why can't you send it to him and be free so that you and you woman will be free and happy, tell me when you are going to send the money this morning so that I will tell him


Miss Elastic 06:54
Quote:
Hello


Fish Lad 06:58
Quote:
I gave you grace yesterday


Fish Lad 07:02
Quote:
I gave you grace yesterday because of Elastic and you think that I will not do anything right hahaha, don't puch me because today will be the worst day of your life if I didn't get the money before 10am today


Fish Lad 07:09
Quote:
Look I have make a report to all the UK soldier base through the girl and according to the you be arrested and your company will be closed not only that you will pay all the money completely


Fish Lad 07:11
Quote:
I want to all the UK soldier base and they give me 2 soldier each


Fish Lad 07:27
Quote:
I haven't get in touch with Elastic this morning which means there will proceed to your address immediately after 10am today if i see nothing and don't think you can hide because everywhere is now monitor by camera i will send the picture of those in the office monitoring your movement now so that you now that am not an idiot like you said and I also tell my brother and his wife that you called them idiots so you will face consequences


Miss Elastic 07:40
Quote:
Hello what is your plan now because Fish Lad call me now and i don't want to pick the call because i don't know what to tell him so go and send the money to him before he will do something crazy please am beging you please


Miss Elastic 08:46
Quote:
Have you send him the money because her younger sister called me now and said that he over head his brother discussed with those soldier this morning and Fish Lad ask them to proceed to your warehous in the next 2 hours

_________________
The last word is mine.

Jack Boot Closed lad accounts A few

"Animal of your type" - Suggestions accepted

"Please go and hit your penis on the wall or you look for your kind i don't have time for big choppers." - Ouch!

"We give the rules here not you sir." - Of course you do laddie.

"We have never had to deal with a client like you." - Thanks for the compliment.
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Mr Dapper
Master of Master Baiters


Joined: 30 Apr 2017
Posts: 797


PostPosted: Wed Oct 23, 2019 12:55 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Hmmm, this is a bit disapointing sent these this morning and haven't had any replies. Sad

Cyril to Miss Elastic 10:26
Quote:
Elastic my dear

Thanks once again for keeping me up to date with what Fish Lad is up to, But there was no need as it turns out because Fish Lad has made it quite clear about what he intends to do via his own emails to me this morning. I know you are only trying to help when you tell me not to listen to Linda's advice, but I also think there is a little jealousy smouldering there also. You need to try to forget what we once had between us and try to move on with your life. I know I am the kind of man every woman dreams of settling down with, but that woman for me was Linda not you. Anyway, enough about your feelings for me and back to the problem in hand. Linda and I have talked about what we intend to do and we are both still adamant that we will not give into Fish Lad's threats. Our offer of the Package and the £10,000 is still on the table, but we insist either Fish Lad's brother or that damned fiancee of his approach the warehouse alone to collect everything. If there is any attempt to storm the warehouse my staff have offered to repel such an attack. I think Fish Lad's brother and his motley band of military misfits will be in for quit a shock when they come up against my workforce who are mainly Polish and hardly ever sober. Please keep this information to yourself I shall email Fish Lad soon with my terms.

Toodle-pip

Cyril


Cyril to Fish Lad 10:34
Quote:
Fish Lad

I know the new deadline you have set has passed, but I thought I would give you one last chance to walk away from this sorry state of affairs with a least a little dignity. Linda and I are still willing to hand over the package and that little sweetener of £10,000 if you are willing to relinquish any claim on any further money from The Black Face of Africa campaign you and your friends took part in. If you agree to this let me know and I will give you instructions as to how the handover will take place.

Toodle-pip

Cyril


Hopefully Fish Lad is only letting Cyril and Linda stew for a while and this isn't the end of a beautiful relationship.

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Mr Dapper
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 24, 2019 3:37 am Reply with quoteBack to top

The rest of yesterdays nonsense.

A long silence, then

Fish Lad 15:46
Quote:
Listen I don't have any problem with that I will do as you said but if you send me the money now I will tell my brother to go and see you with a good mind then you will give him the package is that okay for you?


And 15:52
Quote:
I know you have spent all the money but I will take the £10,000 and forget the rest for you with one reason if you will send the money today or tomorrow morning if you agree let me know and everything will be okay now waiting for your reply


Cyril sends no reply, what is going on?

Fish Lad 19:06
Quote:
Hello am still waiting for your reply


Still nothing from Cyrill, lets try and get a reply another way.

Miss Elastic 19:13
Quote:
Please don't you try to email me again


And 19:17
Quote:
Since you think am jealous for Linda so tell Linda to get you the remaining information about Fish Lad and I will tell Fish Lad that you are ready to fight him with your workers,
So that he will know what is going on


Why the silence from Cyril?

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Mr Dapper
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 24, 2019 4:46 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Let's see if this load of cobblers reels anything in.

Cyril to Miss Elastic 05:36
Quote:
Elastic my dear

Sorry for the radio silence so to speak, but what Linda and I were doing yesterday we needed to keep secret until we found out what was going on outside the warehouse, and we couldn't do that until darkness fell last night. As you know, Linda, my loyal staff and I were prepared to put up a fight should that become a necessity. When I had still failed to receive a reply by 15:00 yesterday to the generous offer I had made Fish Lad earlier in the day, Linda and I assumed an attack was probably imminent. You can imagine our surprise when no attack came and we even started to think Fish Lad's talk of soldiers surrounding us was all some kind of story he had made up to make me hand over hundreds of thousands of pounds. Anyway, we immediately held a war council and it was decided that we would send a couple of scouts out after dark to investigate if what we were beginning to suspect was true. As luck would have it we had two ex-military men in the workforce who volunteered for the mission. Jakub before he came to the UK was ex GROM which he claims is something like our own SAS, and Akimbo, or Legs to his friends, was a cook in the Japanese army. Anyway they both set off at about 20:00 hours yesterday evening to recon the immediate area. The problem we have now is that Legs returned two hours ago after making an extensive sweep and seeing no evidence of anything untoward, but Jakub is not back yet. If either of them was not going to make it back I would have put my money on Legs. So it raises the question of what has happened to Jakub? I know you have said not to email you again and you were going to tell Fish Lad all about my plans to fight, but I know you didn't really mean it. I know you were just angry with me for reopening old wounds that were better left to heal. So please Elastic, can you find out if Jakub has been captured by Fish Lad's soldiers because he really should have been back by now. Can you do that for me my dear? if you need to you can tell Fish Lad if Jakub's still alive I will gladly pay a ransom for his safe return. I would email him and ask him myself, but you are the only one I really trust to be honest with me. Let's let the past stay in the past and remain good friends my dear. Hope to hear from you soon.

Toodle-pip

Cyril

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Mr Dapper
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 24, 2019 8:02 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Well, Cyril has had some sort of a reply, but nothing about poor Jakub's predicament. Cyril really will need an answer about that before he can even consider any other options.

Miss Elastic 08:28
Quote:
See my dear friend go and send the money to Fish Lad this morning if you don't want to lose your company and your life also and the girl is a commander in army so when she see any of your solder she will tell them what to do, to be frank with you Fish Lad have all the evidence of the work he did for and he is using it agent you send the money to him this morning and set you self free Fish Lad said that you used his money and buy boat and he has the evidence the picture so send that small money to him and fave your business


And 08:32
Quote:
Because if Fish Lad come to UK by him self he will do more the soldier he will kill you and go to prison and with the soldier back up evidence he will come out and he will still have the money


And 08:39
Quote:
Send him the money and tell him it the only money you will give him he will accept it is better then this your plan

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Mr Dapper
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 24, 2019 9:53 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Jakub where art thou?

Cyril 09:50
Quote:
Elastic my dear

I hear what you're saying, but I really don't understand what you mean. Is Jakub okay or not? I know he would never desert from our side and even in his most drunken state I would never question his loyalty to me. He would never take orders from that bitch that's leading Fish Lad's soldiers that's for sure, so I can only assume he is either being held against his will or is dead. Please my dear,which is it? If that bitch has harmed Jakub then I shall never send Fish Lad anything. I want peace, what sane man wouldn't? but I need to know what's happend to Jakub before I can even think about talking terms.

Toodle-pip

Cyril


Miss Elastic 09:56
Quote:
Nothing happen to him I call Fish Lad now and he said that he didn't send anybody to go after you men so he is not with him even to see him, he said that he give you grace of yesterday and this morning so he will not do anything to you or your friends till tomorrow so maby your friend want out call his phone okay


Miss Elastic 10:03
Quote:
Since you want to make peace with him send the money to him and tell him that is the only money you have simple since you have the money now


Cyril 10:12
Quote:
Elastic my dear

Don't you think if I could get somebody to phone Jakub I would have done that by now? Don't you remember I told you we are having complete radio silence whilst this all plays out? I don't want that bitch of Fish Lad's being able to intercept our communications, who knows what sophisticated technology she may have at her disposal. How can I even be sure that GCHQ is not monitoring this very email account as I type this? No my dear, there will be no phones used and this will be the only line of communication between Fish Lad and I. And if as you claim Fish Lad has no idea where Jakub is he'd better get that bitch of his to go and find him. Because until I know Jakub is safe and well Fish Lad can kiss my arse.

Toodle-pip

Cyril


Miss Elastic 10:16
Quote:
I don't understand what you mean by Fish Lad can kiss my ash


Cyril 10:20
Quote:
Elastic my dear

You really are so delightful. I didn't write Fish Lad can kiss my ASH, that would make no sense at all, I wrote Fish Lad can kiss my ARSE. I really hope that's clear enough now, but I still need Jakub found.

Toodle-pip

Cyril


Miss Elastic 10:22
Quote:
I don't mean you should call Fish Lad I mean your friend


And 10:27
Quote:
Send Fish Lad his money am taird of all this for how many weeks now we are still on this issue why you know that you have the money I don't understand you again

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Linoline
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 24, 2019 9:58 am Reply with quoteBack to top

clapping

I was really hoping she'd say fishlad had Jakub.

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Mr Dapper
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PostPosted: Thu Oct 24, 2019 10:01 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Me too, then Cyril would have wanted photographic proof. Laughing

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PostPosted: Thu Oct 24, 2019 6:07 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Cyril's been silent for most of the day (real life getting in the way), but Fish Lad seems happy enough baiting himself.

Miss Elastic 10:57
Quote:
You are just causing problems for you self from one place to another is like you don't want to send the money to Fish Lad right


Cyril 11:20
Quote:
Elastic my dear

I don't understand your accusation. I've never said I would send Fish Lad any money, I said his brother could collect the £10,000 from me when I hand over the package to him. That offer still stands as long as that bitch of his either hands over Jakub unharmed or finds him for me. I don't believe Fish Lad's claims that he doesn't know something about Jakub's disappearance, but I am willing to give him the benefit of the doubt if he can produce Jakub to back up his story. As I've said in the past, the choice is Fish Lad's, it's the package and £10,000 or nothing. I can understand you being taird, I'm taird too, but we're well stocked with food and the water, gas and electric is still running at the moment so we can keep this up until Christmas if that's what Fish Lad wants, I'm sure his brothers wedding will then take precedence over Fish Lad's selfish needs.

Toodle-pip

Cyril


Miss Elastic 11:37
Quote:
See let me tell you Fish Lad is not with your friend and I know you want to you that as an excuse so that you will not send him the money I will email Fish Lad now and tell him to do what he plans to do why are you do wicked, a young man work for you he spent all his time and money to work for you now you don't want to pay him back all you do was to cause problem so that you will not pay him see let me tell you I don't even want that my stuff anymore I don't like people been wicked you and Fish Lad should go and sort out I will tell him your plans


Miss Elastic 11:45
Quote:
Is because am telling you Fish Lad plane that is why you think you have everything to do right I promise you will not hear from me again nonsense, and see let me tell you Fish Lad don't want to do any bad thing to you because if he like he will kill you and Linda under a minute because he has your picture and his father is the highest chife prest in our town and i think i will suggest that to him since you think you are wicked


Fish Lad 13:46
Quote:
So you don't want to pay me my money right if I didn't see the money today I will forget the money and do what Elastic suggested and you will know where you will eat the money again that is the only thing I will do for now


Fish Lad 14:05
Quote:
Last question do you still love this life or not


Fish Lad 14:22
Quote:
Am asking you do you still love this life or not because i have made up my mind


Miss Elastic 14:31
Quote:
If you know what is good for you now go and send the money to Fish Lad if you know that you still want your Linda Alive you think you are wicked right


Fish Lad 14:42
Quote:
This just the beginning


Fish Lad 14:46
Quote:
I will not take it likely with you this time since you think you can fight me on top of my money


Fish Lad 17:54
Quote:
Do you know what is the time now and i haven't get the money I will give tomorrow morning


Miss Elastic 18:28
Quote:
Have you see your friend?

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Mr Dapper
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PostPosted: Fri Oct 25, 2019 4:12 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Today so far, just a bit more of the same. Rolling Eyes

Cyril 06:05
Quote:
Elastic my dear

Panic over, Jakub returned yesterday afternoon, a little the worse for wear I'm afraid to say, but that was not due to anything that bitch and her soldiers had done to him. Jakub the little rascal once released had decided to head straight to the off licence in the village to ask if the owner had seen any unusual activity in the area. The poor polish fool had thought that British soldiers would act like their polish counterparts and head for the nearest watering hole. On gaining no useful information there he bought a litre bottle of vodka to drink on his way as he visited all the pubs within a 20 mile radius of the warehouse. I'm just glad that we're in Brockenhurst and not London or we may not have seen Jakub for months if ever. I will of course apologise to Fish Lad in due course, but at the moment Linda and I still need to finalise the peace plan that we've come up with.

Toodle-pip

Cyril


And 09:20
Quote:
Fish Lad

Just to show what a nice chap I am I'm emailing you to apologise for accusing that bitch you sent with your brother and the rest of her soldiers for doing something bad to Jakub. It turns out that Jakub was just being over enthusiastic and decided to do a hard target search of every gas station, residence, warehouse, farmhouse, henhouse, outhouse, doghouse and publichouse in a twenty mile radius. Anyway, Jakub's back in the fold now, a little worse for wear due to spending to long searching the pubs on his tour, but I'm sure he'll be right as rain once he gets a few vodkas down his throat. Anyway, the apology was the first thing I wanted to offer the second thing we need to sort out as men is this damned siege. Although both Jakub an Akimbo came back with negative reports of seeing any of your soldiers in the area that doesn't mean that they are not well hidden somewhere. Don't think you will be able to lull Linda and I into a false sense of security to draw us out, we're to intelligent for that, but we would like to go back to normal day to day lives without looking over our shoulders all day long. Linda and I have been talking all night and we think we have a solution to this problem we face. We will be asking for very little, but in return we will not only be prepared to deliver the package to a destination of your choice, we will also pay you everything that you would have earned from your 20% profits from the Black Face of Africa campaign. Now, I don't know what you think, but I think that's a very generious offer considering how badly you let us all down in the past and the way you have acted since. Let me know if you want to discuss things like adults instead of continuing down this route to nowhere.

Toodle-pip

Cyril


Fish Lad 09:44
Quote:
You still don't want to answer my question I said do you still love this life and the life of that your Linda if yes then go and send the money this morning


And 09:48
Quote:
Go and send the money to the account i sent to you then after that I will tell you where to deliver the package and for peace to rain send me the money that you have at hand now then you will pay the rest small small


And 09:48
Quote:
But if I didn't see the money today, when I said today I mean this morning


Miss Elastic 11:49
Quote:
I told you nothing happened to him so now you can send the money to him now since you want to make peace with him thanks for that am waiting for Fish Lad to tell me that you have the money


Fish Lad 13:45
Quote:
What is going i didn't see anything

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Mr Dapper
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PostPosted: Sat Oct 26, 2019 3:42 am Reply with quoteBack to top

The rest of yesterday and the beginning of this wonderful new morn.

Cyril 17:59
Quote:
Fish Lad

Sorry for the late reply to your emails, but we've been having a bit of a party here to celebrate Jakub's safe return. I'm sure your brother and his bitch must have seen the company vans leaving and returning to the warehouse this morning after collecting the food and drink for our little shindig. I must say I'm surprised how easy it is for the vehicles to get in and out without encountering any problems. Anyway, I'm sure you don't want to hear about how well we're all holding up given the difficulties you are trying to cause us. What I need to know is if you want to listen to my offer or not? What I don't need is you making stupid threats and demands for money without you offering anything in return.

Toodle-pip

Cyril


Fish Lad 00:45 today
Quote:
I don't understand what do you mean by that and what are you trying to say do you say you will not send the money or what are you trying to say


And 00:46
Quote:
And what is that your offer


What's Cyril's offer? Well, it'll be a long shot, but it would be remiss of Cyril to not at least try.

Cyril 05:21
Quote:
Fish Lad

A very good morning to you. I'm not sure if you'll be pleased or not to hear we have all passed through another uneventful night here at the warehouse. I think that's a good thing considering that most of us would have been far to drunk to have put up much of a fight . I know that news is going to be slightly galling to your brother and his bitch and the rest of those damned troublemakers they have with them, but it gives me confidence that we are dealing with complete idiots. Anyway, enough about your brother and his bitches inability to plan ahead and back to the offer I am prepared to make to end all of this nonsense. It will of course require you to do a little something in return for all of the money you have earned so far, minus the price of the boat and some charitable donations I have made from it. Don't get to angry about that, the boat was I suppose a little self indulgent, but the rest you can be assured went to very good causes. One of those causes is what my offer concerns and I need to know before I explain everything involved if you are still willing to consider my offer or if you have changed your mind since your last email. Something that might help you make your decision is I had Lenny go through the company accounts and at the moment your 20% of the increased profits was currently standing at £300,196.65 at the time of checking, that of course will be increasing with every new order we receive from Africa. Let me know what you decide and then perhaps we'll be able to sort this all out in a civilised manner.

Toodle-pip

Cyril


Cyril 06:32
Quote:
Elastic my dear

How are you this morning? You'll be pleased to know that everybody here at the warehouse is in good spirits and keeping their chins up which is quite surprising considering everything they have gone through in the last few days. I guess it just goes to show how loved I am by my staff that their sticking by Linda and I when they have families at home waiting for them who must be worried sick. Hopefully this will all end well and Jakub who has said he will stay and drink for as long as this takes may be able to fly home to Poland for the Christmas holidays and once again hold his wife Zofia and his little son Kacper in his arms once again. And then there's dear old Akimbo who has pledged he will commit hari-kari should he disgrace himself in my service. With men like these standing by my side I have no fear that we will eventually prevail whatever Fish Lad throws at us. However, hopefully it will not come down to a final showdown because this morning I sent Fish Lad an email that I'm sure he will consider seriously. I think if he really doesn't want to walk away from all of this with his tail between his legs and nothing to show for all the time and trouble he has put in so far, then accepting the offer I shall make him is his only option. I'll keep you informed about what's happening as you have a vested interest in this (i.e your laptop, phone and shoes).

Toodle-pip

Cyril

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Mr Dapper
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PostPosted: Sat Oct 26, 2019 1:10 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Dream on Fish Lad. Laughing

Fish Lad 07:15
Quote:
All I want now is for you to divide the money into two send me the half and take the rest


Miss Elastic 07:21
Quote:
Okay


Cyril 14:00
Quote:
Fish Lad

All I have to say to that is NO! NO! NO! that's not how this is going to work. If you want the money you think you're owed you must do the little something for me that I require. As I've already said, Linda, my loyal staff and I are prepared to sit this siege out until Christmas, or beyond if necessary. I can't imagine that your retard of a brother and that stupid bitch he intends to marry will want to put their wedding on hold just because you are to stupid to accept a way of ending all this unpleasantness amicably. For fuck sake man! do you really want to drag this sorry state of affairs out for months on end? My offer still stands, but only until Monday morning. I give you until then to either accept what I propose or you'll walk away with nothing.

Toodle-pip

Cyril

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Mr Dapper
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PostPosted: Sun Oct 27, 2019 9:25 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I might have to change the title if I don't get a response to this. Sad

Cyril just now.
Quote:
Elastic my dear

Have you any idea about what's going on? I sent Fish Lad an email yesterday afternoon and I've had no reply. Can you try to find out if he's made some kind of tactical retreat or are his forces still out there waiting to pounce when they think we've lowered our defences? Last night, brave Akimbo once again volunteered to scout the area within a 5 mile radius of the warehouse and returned once again with a report of seeing nothing of the enemy. This is making all of us here think that Fish Lad has decided a protracted campaign of hostilities is not the way to handle the situation. Try to get back to me as soon as possible because we really would all like to go about our lives as normal if the danger is over.

Toodle-pip

Cyril

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Mr Dapper
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PostPosted: Mon Oct 28, 2019 5:36 am Reply with quoteBack to top

No reply from Miss Elastic but a couple from Fish Lad.

Fish Lad 17:41 yesterday
Quote:
Okay so tell me how you want it to be


And 18:07
Quote:
Tell me how you want it to be or I will tell you in my own


Cyril's long shot

Just now
Quote:
Fish Lad

Thank God you're still speaking to me I thought you'd finally decided to admit defeat and walk away with nothing. I'm really glad to see that you are made of stronger stuff because as Christmas approaches and our thoughts turn towards wanting to do charitable deeds my wish is that you get what you deserve. However, as I've already intimated there is one small thing I would like you to do for me before that can happen. Well, when I say me, I mean the orphans that are cared for by The Sisters of Saint Dismas. Look, I won't beat about the bush and waste time so I'll come straight to the point. All I need to know right now is if you would be willing to dress as Father Christmas and send me a Photograph so that I can use it on the Moonpig Christmas cards that that the company gets printed and sends the little black orphans amongst them each year. Jakub has offered to be the white Santa this year, although with that big red drinkers nose I think he'd be better of playing the part of Rudolph. Anyway, let me know if you'll do it, it's only a small thing I ask of you and I think it would cheer the orphans up to see your smiling face beaming out at them on Christmas morning. Oh, and don't worry, I shan't expect you to contribute towards the small gift the company sends along with each card, I'll pay for those out of my own pocket. Hope to hear from you soon.

Toodle-pip

Cyril

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"Please go and hit your penis on the wall or you look for your kind i don't have time for big choppers." - Ouch!

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Joined: 06 Apr 2018
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Location: In the tulip fields


PostPosted: Mon Oct 28, 2019 8:59 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I hope you'll get a nice trophy out of him. Laughing

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My Collection of lad frustration

"I never taught you to be evil. But carry on" - Oscarpiles
"You are diabolically evil...." - Sparky905
"It really sucks to be a scamming lad around Linoline." Conny L. Gus
"You put money in the parcel now am suffering you are not helping" Sven
"you can art well.. Cuuning and smart..." - "You put me through this with all the bastard you called your client" Daniboy
"Yes I am your good lad" Raisin
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