A soap opera

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Posted: Fri Oct 18, 2019 9:54 am

^^^of course. The board is already meeting to find some solutions. I'm sure in all their wisdom, they might come to a similar conclusion.

BTW I heard that JooJoo went on a short vacation recently. Is he back already to resume his delivery duties? Very Happy

Posted: Fri Oct 18, 2019 10:49 am

Bill Hamm wrote:

Good afternoon all,

The board has just finished their meeting about the Lagos situation. I have just been briefed and would like to share some information with you.
As it stands, Plog will decline to pay the additional "licensing fee" (aka the bribe) and will continue to negotiate with the Nigerian authorities.
As for ensuring the continuity of operations, Mitch Oldfruit (Director of Global Operations) has been assigned as Taskforce Leader. He will take all steps necessary to ensure secure and correct delivery of all parcels (including yours).
Mitch has requested that he be informed of any HVC (High Value Content) parcels that might be affected by the Lagos situation, so I am copying him in CC.
I sincerely want to apologise for the inconvenience and delays, but all of this is out of our control. If you have any issues or questions, please let me know.
kind regards,

===
14:40

Mr Coffee wrote:

Mr Hammn,

I never expected this kind of message from you or from any of your
affiliate,knowing fully well that your company suppose to pay tax to
the government of Nigeria,you wanted to be imposed tax on by Nigeria
government at the point of offering your global services to your
clients,such situation comes up.

If I may ask you,do you lack intel amongst your global network,for
which it did not occur to you that the Nigeria govenment suspended
your operation license and has sealed our Lagos hub.

What ever they stated that they are doing as an "administrative
investigation",I attribute it to lack of communications amonst your
global network.If you communicate effectively,you ought to know what
is on ground in Nigeria concernin your operative office in Lagos.

Try as much as possile to sort this out through your legal entity so
that you can commence effective operations that gives 100%
satisfaction to your global clients.

Regards,
Coffee

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 05 Jan 2017 Posts: 790

Hahahahah the lad slapped ya

Posted: Fri Oct 18, 2019 1:04 pm

Yep.

This is above Bill's paygrade. We need Mitch Oldfruit to solve this !

Posted: Fri Oct 18, 2019 1:37 pm

Bill Hamm wrote:

Dear Mr. Coffee,

while I understand you disappointment with the current situation, you seem to have some misconceptions about it.

You seem to assume that P-log has not fulfilled their fiscal obligations in Nigeria. I can assure you that this is not the case. The fact that our license has been suspended has nothing to do with fiscal or even legal issues. As explained before, it is nothing more than an attempt from corrupt government official to enrich themselves. However, P-log will not succumb to this kind of coercion and will use any (legal) means available to us to make sure the situation will be resolved.

Furthermore, you write "you ought to know what is on ground in Nigeria concernin your operative office in Lagos". Obviously, we are on top of things, and fully aware of the situation. This is why we informed all of our clients within one hour of receiving the notice of suspension. I don't think we could have informed you any quicker than we did. If you don't find that to be to your satisfaction then, frankly, you have unrealistic expectations.

As for re-instating our operations, I can assure you that mr. Oldfruit is taking action as we speak, and he should be in contact with you shortly. I will copy him in to this email.

kind regards,

Posted: Fri Oct 18, 2019 1:53 pm

I suppose he could always go and collect the parcel in person. We know how well that usually ends up lol

Posted: Fri Oct 18, 2019 5:06 pm

^^^indeed!

Enter Mitch Oldfruit, Director Global Operation (MrMystery)

Quote:

Dear all,

I have been apprised of the current situation, and while our legal team works in the background to find some compromise with Nigerian officials (this is liable to take a few weeks), I believe it best we focus on getting this package to its rightful recipient as expediently as possible.

I see little need to explain the behind-the-scenes processes that result in us not being culpable for this incident any more so than already stated, so let us talk about a few solutions which I will outline below:
Pickup could be made in person at our state of the art Casablanca location. Reimbursement for any expenses, including visa fees, airfare, hotels, food, and a dispensary budget for any souvenirs/petty cash expenses would be provided upon arrival to the office location provided all expenses are documented. This is liable to be the quickest form of delivery.

-Despite a Nigerian delivery being currently unfeasible, we have a myriad of other operational offices all across Africa. If you would be willing to pick up your package here, all expenses would be reimbursed as previously stated, and I can provide a list of our offices, all of which are state-of-the-art, and you can decide where would be best for you. Think of this option as a vacation combined with a package pickup.

These are the two most feasible options for ensuring a hasty delivery without any complications, and I trust you will consider the options and pick the one best for you. Please ask me if you have any questions, and I intend on guiding you through this simple and safe process. I apologize once again for the inconvenience.

Cheers

Posted: Fri Oct 18, 2019 5:53 pm

Due to a little email mishap, I sent another message with mainly the same content to the lad shortly after that. After all, as a true professional, I'm willing to go the extra mile to ensure my customers are happy. No response from the lad yet, but I'm hoping he will contact me sometime today. As I doubt he will be willing to wait a few weeks for the legal issues to blow over (and we will deny him this option if it comes up), soon he will have to pick his poison and decide where he wants to safari himself.

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 05 Jan 2017 Posts: 790

Mr Cofee reaches out to Nora with a solution and reassurance that her husband Timothy is safe with lollypop... thus avoiding any panic and the danger that Nora shows all the emails to someone with half a brain .. he is a great lad

Quote:

Hi Mrs Nora,

A couple of our security personel informed us that they spotted your
husband (Mr Timothy) today on the "ELDORADO" Beach this morning with
the two gentle men he contracted upon his arrival in Cotonou.

"ELDORADO" Beach is near Hotel Aledjo (PLM),a government owned hotel
in Cotonou.We are trying to see how our security could reach him.

Once,we able to reach him,we shall inform you.

I hope,you have received the email from Pitiful-log ,trying to cover
their failiure and inability to deliver the parcel to us,due to their
ignorance of tax payment to Nigeria government for their operations.

The only thing we can do for now is to ask Pitiful-log to return
the parcel back to you(ie Cork,Ireland),so that you can make
alternative arrangements via DHL or TNT to re-send the package by next
week to Cotonou,because we are running short of time.

You may agree with me that in the beginning,I advised you to use
DHL,TNT or UPS to deliver the parcel,but you decided to us
Pitiful log,of which the representative of Pitiful-log in Cork
,Ireland Mr Douggie did not tell you that their company has a
problem with Nigerian government over non payment of tax for regional
operations.

If I may ask,how do you describe this kind of attitude?,after all we
had fullfiled all the conditions they requested from us,prior to
receipt of parcel,only to come up with nonsense options.

Ask Pitiful-log to return the parcel back to you for alternative
arrangements.

Waiting to hear from you.

Regards,
Mohama Cofee

Posted: Sat Oct 19, 2019 2:29 pm

The lad's angry:

Quote:

Dear all & Mitch Oldfruit,

Thank you for your irresistable offer to foot the bill of make
unnecessary trip to Casablance to pick up a parcel that was originally
routed to Cotonou, Benin Republic.

What ever confrontation you may have with the Nigerian government has
nothing entirely to do with us and the sender of the package (Mrs
Nora O,Brian) of Cork,Ireland.

Let me bring to your notice that what you called options ,sounded
dramatical,of which,in the sense that I have never seen or heard where
a receiver of package travelled to another country to pick up
parcel,as a result of a government policy,when such parcel is enrouted
to the location of the receiver.(IF THAT IS YOUR POLICY,I NEED A
PROOF).

I am sorry to make it abandantly clear to you and all that we would
not be willing to travel to Casablanca (Morocco) or another of your
office locations for any reason.

The only option you should accept is to "RE-CALL THE PARCEL BACK TO
CORK,IRELAND" to Mrs Nora O,Leary ,the sender of the parcel period.

This is the very first time we are been kept in the dark by a courier
company of high reputation.Over the years,we have received High Value
Content(HVC) from Germany,USA,India,Italy and South Africa,non has
come with this kind of embarrassing conditions and disappointing
options.

Finally,do not come up with any unnecessary options,because it will not work.

Once again,I advise you to return the parcel back to Mrs Nora O,Brien
of Cork,Ireland,then go and resolve your differences with the Nigerian
government for subsequent good services.

Regards,
Muhammad Coffee

My response to the lad, not saying much:

Quote:

Dear all,
I do agree with you that these options are not ideal under the best of circumstances and certainly disappointing under the worst, but it is simply a matter of operations that unless the sender explicitly wishes to pay the expense to return the package to Cork, the package will remain somewhere near its current location; hence, from there, we must decide on an appropriate course of action given its current location. HVC demands an added layer of security, as we cannot haphazardly shuttle it back and forth without there being some underlying reason, which has not been provided as of yet due to Mrs. O'Brien's non-response. It is not a matter of your negotiations with me, despite my being the most senior member here; I believe the customer is always king, and in that case Ms. O'Brien must decide whether to recall the package with that option's additional time delays in conjunction with all of us, not merely an individual deciding for the majority. Mr. Bacon's opinion would also be prudent here.

Your fixation on the Casablanca option, despite that being floated as one of two plans, creates the veneer of disorganization, which I would like to counter. I believe any other shipping company would, given the capability of non-delivery, choose to wait, leaving a package relatively unguarded in a shoddy warehouse until through some magical processes, the issue is solved. We take a more active approach because we do not want you or Mrs. O'Brien, the customers, to wait. I have been open about this being the case, and your accusing us of keeping you and Mrs. O'Brien "in the dark" is inaccurate. If by that remark you meant that you wanted a definitive list of alternative office locations, this I can certainly provide. If you wanted more clarification into the two options I suggested, that I can certainly provide as well. But it is time to move past the unfortunate mishap with the Nigerian customs officers (an offense which I and the rest of our company most certainly regret), as right now there is a package full of HVC waiting for its rightful recipient (you), and injecting artificial delays in the matter is not the best solution, at least in my professional opinion.

Mr. Baker, if you have any thoughts, a second diagnostic professional opinion would be appreciated. And Mrs. O'Brien, I would appreciate your opinion on if a package recall is necessary from your perspective. Once again, I apologize for the confusion.

Cheers!

braintoxic, now would be a good time for Nora to reject the option of returning the package back to Cork; they have been so professional with their response to the issue that you know that everything will go right, and the expense of a package return would be too much to bear, only to send it with a less reliable, crooked service afterward.

Posted: Sat Oct 19, 2019 4:06 pm

The Mr Baker mentioned in mrMystery's post is actually Mr. Hamm

Quote:

Dear all.

I am on a family weekend so I am not able to write an extensive response.

I think mr. Coffeee is misrepresenting the situation. While I understand his disappointment, it should be clear to all that Plog can not be deemed liable for the situation.

I think Mr. Oldfruit explained in detail what the options are. Furthermore I agree with him that only the sender can decide to recall the parcel, which would incurr significant costs for her. Having the parcel picked up by the Receiver is simply the most cost effective (and safest) way to proceed.

Might I suggest we have our African Manager (Mr. Cumberband) send mr. Coffee a list of the hubs closest to him, so he can decide where the parcel needs to be forwarded for pick up?

Posted: Sat Oct 19, 2019 4:20 pm

There's nothing worse than stuck up snobbish lads that think their shit don't stink. This douche thinks he is all that and tries to write all prim and proper and professional yet mispells every other "big" word that he tries to impress with and still comes across as nonsensical much of the time. Make this prick suffer.

Posted: Sat Oct 19, 2019 4:57 pm

We need to dangle the carrot some more

Posted: Sat Oct 19, 2019 5:07 pm

Well at least you can't say he didn't make everything 'abandantly' clear.

Posted: Sat Oct 19, 2019 5:33 pm

Nora is disappointed:

Quote:

Hello to everyone that is included in this email, well this is all very disappointing, I am on a retreat at the Mano Magle centre in Mallow near my home and I checked my phone today to see if my family are all ok and here are all these email notifications to me?

Firstly why are all ye men looking at a woman for business advice? Is this normal to ask a woman for advice on matters like these?

My Business Partner Mr Coffee has told me today that Tim my husband is enjoying his time on a beach with young people living it up and having a wonderful adventure while I am here after borrowing money from every one to make this shipment a reality and to my dismay all the men included in this email are suggesting that I find more money to bring the package home and then send it again another day? Let me advise ye now that there is no more money until Tim gets home safe as he is thd only one with access to the business account.

Mr Coffee and I have a good business relationship and this delay is not acceptable to either of us!

My instruction is that PLog put my delivery in a hub somewhere while I wait for Tim to come home and make s decision on what to do next.

I will check my emails again next Wednesday, If Mr Coffee and his security team have met Tim before then I expect all this will be resolved.

Unhappy

Nora

Mike's response isn't that subtle, emphasizing the relative benefits of a fast delivery:

Quote:

Thank you for your email, Mrs. O'Brien.

To address your first concern, as you are the sender of the package and you say your husband is presently occupied, it is reasonable on our part to ask you for your voice in the matter. It is the 21st century, and everyone deserves a voice; whether they should be heard is another question entirely.

With all due respect, Mr. Coffee is the primary person here who has suggested we find a way to return the package back to Ireland; seeing as that is not what you want, and you do not want to incur additional expense, the package will stay where it is now. You will not have to pay any additional fees if the package stays in Casablanca or if we move it to another office for more convenient retrieval, do not worry. We do not wish there to be any unnecessary delays in this process, hence it is up to Mr. Coffee to decide on one of the remaining two options.

There will be no issue on our part for waiting until next Wednesday if this is acceptable to Mr. Coffee, although I consider it good professional practice to not let delays accumulate when more expedient solutions are possible. We can either wait or, in a perfect world, have this delivery occur by Wednesday. I believe your husband will find that a pleasant surprise to see that all this business was resolved without any stress for him.

Cheers!

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 05 Jan 2017 Posts: 790

Thanks for posting for me MrMystery ,I was away all day yesterday, I told the lad at the beginning I had borrowed to get the cash and the price of phones iPad delivery etc because I had no access to company accounts, he cant wait for Timothy to get back as Timothy will return broke because in the lads head Lollypop will keep Timothy until he drains all all his accounts, I suggest we wait for the lad to problem solve and if he waits until Wednesday I have a suggestion on Bertjes carrot dangling idea.

Posted: Mon Oct 21, 2019 11:19 am

Mr. Coffee is unhappy. To Plog and Norma

Quote:

You know best why you insisted we should come to Casalanca to pick a
parcel that was originally rerouted to Cotonou ,Republic of Benin,as a
result of your ignorance of the attitude of Nigeria Customs.

I am still asking that why should a global entity like "P-log" should not be aware of suspension of their operations in
Nigeria,yet Mrs Norma was allowed to pay huge amount of money
to send parcel to Cotonou,through Nigeria without informing her of the
circumstance in Nigeria.WHY???.

Mrs Norma,you should ask Mr Hamm,why did he not inform you that
their Lagos Hub had been blocked by Nigerian
government/custom?,instead he waited till a few hours for parcel to
move to Nigeria,his company came up with this kind of empty excuse.

Email sent to all by Mr Oldfruit,he said,I quote him,"a delivery
in Nigeria is impossible as of now; however, we have multiple other
luxurious offices across Africa.

Since P-log has multiply officies,what stops them from
delivering the parcel from one of those offices to Cotonou????.

Mr Oldfruit says that "Expenses will be reimbursed as stated
previously,now my question is WHAT STOPS P-log FROM NOT
REIMBURSING Mrs Norma if parcel is returned back to Ireland????.

Why would Mrs Norma be asked to pay for returning of parcel to
Ireland which P-log was paid to deliver and was unable to
deliver due to their poor services and ignorance???.WHY??.

As a matter of fact,why woun,t any staff of P-log in
Casablanca not wouldn,t be willing to travel to another of P-log office locations near Benin Republic to deliver the package
in Cotonou without any difficulties??.WHY?.

P-log being a global courier company can as well pick the
package up at your state-of-the-art Casablanca depot,of which you are
in the position financially to cover all expenses ,including returning
the parcel back to Ireland.

Let us not keepbangingwords because it will take us no where,do the
needful like other global courier companies ,like DHL ,TNT etc.

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 05 Jan 2017 Posts: 790

Mr Cofee tries Nora again with nobody else included

Quote:

Mrs Nora,

This is my second mail to you today and I do hope you read the
contents of my previous mail today and you quite agree with me about
all I stated in the mail?.

To be frank with you,the idea of asking Pitiful - Log to keep the
parcel at save place in their Casablanca hub will affect and slow down
the transction,incase you don,t know.You need to apply force and ask
Pitiful -Log to exploit any possible means and deliver the parcel to
Cotonou,or return the package to you.

Based on my experience,you are not surpose to pay any money if the
package is recalled home by Pitiful-Log because that is part of
their policies.

Don,t let Pitiful-Log put you in the dark by creating the
impression that you have to pay another money of parcel is returned
home to you,as a result of their inability to deliver parcel to us in
Cotonou,Republic of Benin.

If you had followed my advise,by sending this parcel to Cotonou ,by
DHL ,TNT or UPS,this confusion wouldn,t have occured.It is something
worth considering to always take advice from people to make things
work fine without any fault or delay.

As you can see,we need to conclude this transaction by next Friday the
1st of November 2019,so that you can start shipment of candles and
liquid soap to CHABJ.

You better think a way out of this mess caused by Pitiful-Log by
withdrawing the parcel to Ireland,if Pityful-Log has no solution to
deliver the parcel to Benin between now and Wednesday the 23rd of
October 2019,unfailingly.

I am waiting for your reply.

Regards,
MR Cofee

Posted: Mon Oct 21, 2019 11:37 am

Bill Hamm wrote:

Dear all,

I understand that everyone is disappointed, but let's stop pointing the finger at each other, and try to find a workable solution.

Mr. Coffee, you might not be familiar with the nuances of running a logistics operations like ours. Every hub has an assigned area in which delivery is done from that particular hub. As you know, Cotonou is normally serviced by our Lagos warehouse. Our resources (personel and transportation) are planned around that. Besides that, there would be legal and insurance issues. We can not simply "put the parcel on a truck" and drive to Cotonou like you suggest. Cotonou is not part of the regular service areas of the available hubs.

You have asked why we are willing to pay for your travel and lodging expenses, but not for the return of the parcel. This is should be very obvious. The costs of your lodging and travel would be a small fraction of the actual costs of returning the parcel to the Sender. When a parcel is send to Africa, it is consolidated with other parcels going in the same "direction" at every hub. This mean that there is an economy of scales advantage. The actual costs "per parcel" gets lower if more parcels are send with one shipment. Parcels FROM Africa are far and few between. This means that there is hardly any consolidation possible, which makes the costs of returning the parcel exponentially larger. It simply is impossible from an economic point of view.

While I understand your hesitations about picking up the parcel yourself (or at least, have mr. Frank pick it up), there simply is no other (practical) solution at this time.

I'm sure Mr. Oldfruit will want to chime in on this, but I suggest that we pay you a reasonable compensation for your time and efforts, besides making sure that all your travel and lodging expenses are covered. I would be happy to provide you with a list of hubs closest to Cotonou, so you could pick the easiest option for you/mr. Frank.

kind regards,

Posted: Mon Oct 21, 2019 11:53 am

He will be very happy now. Laughing

Posted: Mon Oct 21, 2019 12:00 pm

I'm sure of it. There are only solutions, never a problem for Bill!

Posted: Mon Oct 21, 2019 12:31 pm

Ugh...this guy is so arrogant. I hope you let him choose a truly terrible place to safari himself to. Then it will be all his fault when it goes tits up.

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 05 Jan 2017 Posts: 790

It gets better Bikeat177, he is taking a leaf out of our book ( highlighted below)

Quote:

Attn:Director A Good Ride Ltd

Dear Madam Nora O,Brien,

I am Father Willy Pa the director projects of the Christian
Health Association Of Benin(CHABJ).I am very sure that you are fully
aware that my organization,CHABJ is the awardee of the contract to your
company(A Good Ride Ltd) to supply both Citronella Candles and Liquid
Soap for a period of one year,based on a good recommendation of your
products and your company by Mr Cofee,following series of
conversations between Mr Timothy the director of A Good Ride
Ltd.

You may agree with me that the contract was biled to be signed on the
9th of October 2019,by Mr Timothy,whom we officially waited to receive
at Cotonou International Airport on the 7th of October 2019,only to be
informed by Mr Mohama Coffee that Mr Timothy arrived the same night and
was received by a few of his friends in Benin,whom he never disclosed
their identities to either Mr Coffee or to us,prior to his arrival in
Benin.

Actually,according to Mr Coffee,Mr Timothy was expected to bring
samples of the Citronella Candles and Liquid Soap which have to pass
some inspection test and registration proper at the Health Ministry
before shipment by your company.

We have been waiting to receive the samples of the Citronella Candles
and Liquid Soap from either Mr Cofee or Mr Timothy,although we
learn,t from Mr Mr Coffee that in the absence of Mr Timothy,you
decided to send the Citronella Candles and Liquid Soap through your
courier company since last week,which Mr Coffee informed us
categorically would be brought to our inspection office for onward
presentation to the Ministry of Health for official registration.

To our surprise,we learn,t from Mr Coffee this afternoon that the
samples of Citronella Candles and Liquid Soap which you sent have been
on hold far away Casablanca by the courier company which you contracted
for delivery.

However,we thought it quite necessary to bring to your notice that these
of Citronella Candles and Liquid Soap should be in our office,latest
Tuesday,the 29th of October 2019,if you still have to execute the
contract to supply the Citronella Candles and Liquid Soap to my
organization.

If after Tuesday the 29th of October 2019,you are unable to send the
samples of Citronella Candles and Liquid Soap to us,we will be left with
option than to withdraw the contract and re-award it to another serious
supplier of candles and liquid soap.

What ever is the reason why the samples of Citronella Candles and Liquid
Soap which you sent by courier is on hold in Casablanca,try to seek
advice from Mr Coffee,to see that you get back the samples and send
them to us in the next one week.

The lastest information we gathered from Mr Coffee,he said that the
couriert company you contracted to deliver the package you sent said
that you did reject Mr Coffee advice to recall the
pacakage,inorder to avoid additional expenses that you may incur.

I will suggest you recall the package and use some of the money
(£12,300GBP) in the package to pay the courier company and later use ( is he trying to bait me here..)
some other notable courier company like "TNT" DHL to resend the samples
to us,by so doing,these samples of Citronella Candles and Liquid Soap
will definitely reach us for registration before next Wednesday the 30th
of October 2019,for registration.

We are not worried about how much expenses we have encurred in the past
two weeks to see this contract becomes a reality.

Thank you for your time and understanding.

Best Regard,
Father Willy Pa
Director Projects
Christian Health Association Of Benin(CHABJ)
C/4 La Routé Saint Pierre Paul
Porto Novo,Republic of Benin
Tel:+xxxx
Fax:+xxxxxx
Email:chabj@xxxxxx
Website:www.xxxxxxx

Posted: Mon Oct 21, 2019 9:49 pm

Mitch attempts to assuage the lad's doubts:

Quote:

Dear all,
I have little to add to Mr. Hamm's explanation. Due to Cotonou's
natural proximity to Lagos, I am sure you can see why we did not want to
spend the expense on a second office location there that would be able
to cover largely the same territory; of course this would not account
for a theoretical shuttering of the Lagos office (Which in this case did
happen), but so far all of our customers who are also affected by this
shutdown have been exceedingly happy with the solutions provided. One
man who was gifted a supply of recording equipment by a generous
American patron because he wants to be a musician chose to send the
package to N'Djamena in Chad; not only was his vacation completely
reimbursed, but he was also able to learn about traditional music there,
and he made many industry contacts which was apparently beneficial for
him. You see, every cloud has a silver lining, and your firm rejection
of the options presented to you means that opportunities may be passing
you by.
Mr. Hamm has explained quite well about the costs of returning the
package, which are relatively immense compared to keeping the package in
Africa and not something we are willing to burden when a more
satisfactory alternative exists. Mrs. O'Brien did reject the recall
(knowing it would force her to incur additional expenses to send the
package back to you), and the customer is king (queen, in this case), so
at this point we are back where we begun. Unless you have an idea for a
feasible third option, you have two to choose from, and we will be
wiling to assist you with either. I endorse what Mr. Hamm deems
necessary.

In short, the lad is out of luck. He needs to safari somewhere and he has little choice in the matter.
For locations, I was thinking maybe Yaounde, Niamey, N'Djamena, Lome, Bamako, and Accra as nearby locations. Lome or Yaounde are the best out of those for a Lagos lad. I'm sure the lad will love our flexibility in this matter.

Posted: Tue Oct 22, 2019 3:03 am

This lad is in the country of Benin right? My vote goes to the lovely Ivory Coast. It's been a while since I've read a bait that sent lads there. Maybe as far back as the Franklin & tape worm saga which was a very pleasant read.