Jolly Good Fun

By joining our community you will have the ability to post topics and access other forums reserved for members. Registration is quick, simple and absolutely free. Join our community today by clicking here.

Posted: Tue Aug 27, 2019 3:49 am

What follows is a “cascade bait” – one that involves bringing together different scammers with a similar format to maximise confusion.

The Scammers
Jolly Kamys, a diplomat appointed by “The united nations office in USA ,U.K”

Major.Gen Dominic Kabila, “national chairman of the Ghana Federal Consignments Review Committe” (or “Comittee”)

General James Nana of “the Ghana Presidential Security task force”

General Goodman K. Mbe

Hagopian Barkev, “a citizen of the united state who is part of the monitoring team in the west Africa”

General Lucky Addo - a FIVE STAR GENERAL, yet!

General Ozugbo Kamali, “the Interpol Prospective Director… incharge of all retrieved Consignments boxes here in accra ghana”

Mr Richard Graham

General George Tetteh, “HEAD OF MILITARY INTELLIGENCE, KOTOKA INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT,” who signs as “Gen George.”

Richard Peters (CHIEF OPERATING OFFICER of the Europe Service Centre)

General Dudu K Kwesi (or Kwame), “From the Kotoka International Air Port With the United Nation Delivering forum Unit”

H.E. Leslie K. Christian, “Ambassador & Permanent Representative of The Republic of Ghana to The United Nations”

Dr Kojo Blankson

The Baiter
Malcolm Reynolds

James Boswell, a dollar chopper

All my comments are in bold; I’ve also highlighted some phrases in Lad emails

26 September 2010

*Attn,*
*With regards to you and your family ,
The united nations office in USA ,U.K , has appointed me as your new diplomat whom will deliver to you two sealed mental consignment with serial number scfs/255ccpa/012 and security code scfs/ccpa24-rhm with your name as the beneficiary kept under safe custody of the USA customs excise and preventive service (ceps)storage at the Batten International Airport Racine Wisconsin "This is where your consignment are transferred to" For security reasons,and it has been approved for delivery to you,
This is because of complains coming from foreign beneficiaries like you,
That "'the individual diplomat that are appointed to make delivery to you are not capable of delivery of consignment boxes,
And mind 'you are among the twelve foreign beneficiaries whom theirconsignment is said to be delivered with immediate effect,
You will find in attachment of documents that back up your consignment which is the authority from the Federal Aviation Administration to enable the Batten airport authority know that your consignment boxes has been cleared with the required documentation from the cargo department,
It will be important you send a copy of your passport or any form of identification,and also specify address to the destination for the delivery of your. consignment ,
All that are instructed have to be done before i can then depart with your consignment boxes to meet with you at your door step,
Please note that you will be up dated as soon as the consignment is about to live the Batten International Airport to your destination and all document will be sent to you as well for your record purposes,
Do not hesitate to get back to me for any necessary information concerning the delivery of your consignment.
Thank for your co-operation
Diplomat,jolly Kamys
Please every of your information's should be also sent to these mail address,

He attached a "UN Passprot" and a "Clearance Certificate." The "passprot" will be mentioned later. There was also a "Handling Form of such blandness that I won't bother posting it

The “dork Agyekum” is a Lad who provided my first sandtimer.

Mr Kamys,
It's a relief to see that end of that dork Agyekum - he had no gorram idea! However, I have to ask – are you aware that I'm not in the USA? This is important.
Malcolm Reynolds

27 September 2010

Attn,Malcolm,
In resppect of the delivery,I know that you are not in the USA,its because of these reasons that you were asked to make a choice of were the delivery can be made to your liking,
Please this is urgent,you are to get back to me with all required delivery address in order to help in making your delivery quickly,
The most important thing is your ID and the destination of the delivery,if all these can be presented ,i will be able to locate you as soon as your consignment boxes are cleared from the Batten international airport,
And mind you,these delivery is sponsored by the united nations diplomatic commission ,and i can also assure you that for the past three weeks that i am been in the airport hotel,all the hotel charges is been paid by the united nations diplomatic commission ,so that i can be able to clear your consignment boxes,
Please i will be waiting to have your phone number and your current delivery address,
Regards,
Diplomat,Jolly Kamys

At the time I received this email, I’d been receiving a lot of scripts about my being appointed as a UN ambassador for refugees, charged with receiving and distributing funds (and they’re still turning up e’en now).

Mr Kamys,
You'll call me Mr Reynolds, thank you kindly - and AFAIK I haven't been approved as ambassador, so shouldn't the money come after that?
Malcolm Reynolds

28 September 2010

I didn’t give him my phone number, so who was he calling?

Attn,Malcolm,,
Please,Malcolm i was trying to call you"but your number is not going through,i want you to always get back to me on email,i think it will be more easier for both of us to communicate together since your number is not going throught,
You can also call me on these number.+1630568977,
Lets i forget to inform you about the Batten airport requirement on how to clear the two consignment boxes from the airport,
The airport authority needed the Non inspection certificate to clear all airport charges ,i can assure you that as soon as the non inspection certificate is procured i will immediately go ahead to book my flight and also send you my flight schedules "so that you may know how and when i will be departing from the airport to meet with you at your door step,
Mr Malcolm ,I have a delivery address that belongs to you but,i am afraid if you are still living at that same location,and i also have a number which i was trying to call you with,here is it,+61406889,Please i will want you to correct all your delivery information by sending them to me for verification before i will be ready to depart from the airport with your consignment boxes,
Regards,
Diplomat,Jolly Kamys

The phone number I provided was one that was defective in some way; all he would have heard is a two-tone sound. It’s since then become active.

Mr Kamys,
That number you gave me is useless - way too short. No wonder it ain't working! Who supplied it?
My actual number is (02) 9347 XXXX - it's a transcription service as I'm hearing-impaired. Simply speak your message into that and I can read it on my computer. My address is 2/44 Stuart Drive, Alice Springs - same place as I've lived in for the last four and a bit years.
I will repeat, though, that since my ambassador status is still being assessed, any delivery should wait until then.
Malcolm Reynolds

Attn,Malcolm,
I got your message regarding your instalation as an Ambassador,i really congratulate you to come all these way of life,To say the fact about these time of your instalation,i acknowledged the fact that you should be very careful in what ever you are doing,
But as the case may be,i never know when these event will take place in respect of your ambassadorship,i will want you to give me actual date about these so that when the day comes ,i will be prepared to come there to celebrate with you that day,
Mr Malcolm the problem i will be having if i dont come to deliver your consignment boxes is,The hotel were i was book by the united nations diplomatic commission has almost exspired, and coming to the look of the whole issue ,i base in London and now i am in USA because of the delivery of your consignment boxes,I want you to advise me on what to do about these situation,Do i go back to London or you wants to pay my Hotel Bills,so that i can wait for after your ambassadorship is ancomplished i can then come to make the delivery to you,
I am waiting to hear from you,
Regards,
Diplomat,Jolly Kamys

Mr Kamys,
I'm not your boss.
Ask them for advice.
Malcolm Reynolds

Attn,Ambassador,
I am sorry to say that you will be in a right possition to answer these question and also have a solution to it,i am saying these because the said consignment boxes belongs to you,i shouldnt depart from the airport without informing you about my departure from the airport,
Before i disclosed these issue of my departure from the airport to you,i have already contacted the board of chairment to the united nations diplomatic commission and they asked me to contact you regarding these act,they said if i doesnt informed you it will look like lawlessness and it will be charged on my by the international law court,
Werefore i have tell you of avoiding any further mistakes regarding the clearance and the delivery of your two consignment boxes,and in the act of avoiding any mistake it will take both of us a big tax,{1}KEEPING THE CONSIGNMENT BOXES IN A SPECIAL SECURITY BANK,{2} THEN PAYING FOR THE STAY OF THE CONSIGNMENT BOXES FOR HOW MANY DAYS IT WILL STAY AT THE SECURITY BANK UNTILL THE INSTALATION OF YOUR AMBASSADORSHIP,
Further more,because your consignment boxes are containing gold products ,the security bank there in the airport is going to charges per day for,$100usd,if you agree to these term of condition then you can get back to me so that we proceed on how to get it done,
Regards,
Diplomat,Jolly Kamys

Gold? For refugee relief? What the hell?

Mr Kamys,
What the Sam Frick is this about gold? It's supposed to be cash! If something's been changed, I should have been told before now.
Malcolm Reynolds

Attn,Malcolm,
Regards to the process of the scanning ,there came two results in respect of the scan report,
{1}the first scan result is gold consignment boxes,
{2}the second scan result is funds,
Mr Malcolm "I am sorry to say,i am not sopposed to know the content of your consignment boxes ,but it was because of the presure mounted against me that the two consignment boxes must under go a scan test ,
For the reasons that the airport authority wanted to know exackly what may be the content of your two consignment boxes But at last they finally conducted the test right in my open eyes The came up with a result to certify that your two consignment boxes are containing gold and funds,so the result was showned,
I will not want any ideal of delay regarding the clearance of your consignment boxes,i will also want you to understand that ,the more your consignment boxes stay at the airport the more the bills increase,
And i am afraid that if any one should have the security code number he or she can easily go to the airport to clear your consignment boxes,So for because of the reasons ,i will want you to come up with required amount so that we can then clear the consignment boxes first,
I am waiting to hear from you as soon as you are able to understand me,
Regards,
Diplomat,Jolly Kamys

Mr Kamys,
Then you've got the wrong shipment. I was assured of cash only. Gold is no gorram good for refugee relief anyway!
Malcolm Reynolds

We have another entrant!
This message was sent to a little-used account, so I directed him to my baiting account.

Subject: Urgent Reply Nedded From Ghana Federal Consignment Review Comittee
From The Desk Of The National Chairman
Ghana Federal Consignments Review Committee.
Tel...00233243674748 Fax...00233243674748
Attn. Dear Mr.Malcolm Reynolds,
I am Major.Gen Dominic Kabila, the national chairman of the Ghana Federal Consignments Review Committee (GFCRC), set up by United Nations former secretary general Mr. Kofi Anan. Due to complaints of various foreign investors worldwide to the republic of Ghana, the GFCRC after the last visit of the United Nations former secretary General, he insisted that the organization should visit all security and shipping companies to inspect all manifest.Concerning consignments to be delivered, that is undelivered to the rightful beneficiaries. After our last visit to many of these security and diplomatic companies in West Africa, we discovered your consignments that were undelivered, which have already been paid for delivery.
The GFCRC have decided to deliver consignments belonging to beneficiaries to their required destination. In respect to the aforementioned issue names and contacts belonging to beneficiaries that were undelivered have been retrieved by the GFCRC, this consignments shall delivered to beneficiaries accordingly to batches, and yours,Mr.Malcolm Reynolds,along with some others are on the next batch of delivery.
The GFCRC with the support of the United Nations Secretary General Mr. Kofi Ann-an, your consignment shall be delivered by the organizations private jet to your delivery destination. This are the conditions required after consignments have been delivered to your required destination. 1). 5% for the assistance of HIV/AIDS victims to the W.H.O.
2). 5% to ORPHANS in your country.
3). 5% to UNICEF for Dar fur region of Sudan.
If these conditions are meted out with you, call us immediately so that we load your consignment boxes delivery.
All registration on consignments must be paid to the department of GFCRC as protocol demands.
Regards,
Major.Gen Dominic Kabila.
National Chairman.

Dear Mr Malcolm Reynolds,
Thanks for the receipt of your mail and for your quick respond to my mail,What we need you to do now is for you to send us your personal details like your designation,delivery address to enable the diplomat come to your door step for delivery and also your phone number for easy communication.
My working ID and International passport is attach to this mail for your pursuit.
Await your reply so that we can proceed with the delivery process.
Regards,
Gen Dominic Kabila.

He didn’t attach his passport and ID. I didn’t point that out.

General Kabila,
I've been informed that the money and gold is at Racine Airport, Wisconsin. Also be informed that the relief work get more than 15%! Are you sure that you've been paying attention?
Malcolm Reynolds

29 September 2010

Attn,Abassador.
Dont let these delivery go behind you,i can assure you that even the refugee does not know the content of the consignment boxes ,because every content of these consignment boxes was sopposed to known by the late father of the said refugee whom own the two consignment boxes,
I am a diplomat you are sopposed to listen to me because i have been in a chance to know the content of the consignment boxes,Dont you know gold consignment is more worth than have the cash,i even prefer the gold consignments,if you should asked me to choose among the two consignment,
Please dont discourage about the gold consignment ,The formal diplomat whom is sopposed to make these delivery to you does not know what the content of your consignment boxes may be,That is why the united nations diplomatic commission has appointed me just to have a safe delivery to you,
I will prefer that you try all you can to come up with the requirement of the airport authority so that we can get the two consignment boxes cleared first,
In the case of the gold i have a good friend whom is ready to buy the gold from you as soon as i can be able to clear the two consign ment boxes in your own name as the beneficiary of the consignment boxes,
The name of that my friend is Lambert Justice,he base in Carlifonia,
Please i will be waiting to hear from you as soon as you are ready to pay for the precurement of the Non inspection certificate,
Regards,
Diplomat,Jolly Kamys

Mr Kamys,
What the Sam Frick is going on? This money is for relief purposes and no-one ever said anything about it belonging to any refugee!
I want a full explanation, and right now.
Malcolm Reynolds

Attn,Malcolm,
I am very happy you came up with these issue of the refugee ,These same question has been borthering me since i arrived the airport in Racine wisconsin,I also asked about the refugee whom is sending these funds to a beneficiary,
Because of these same question a meeting was held here in the U S,by the board of chairmen of the united nations diplomatic commission because of how the consignment boxes was kept in the safe security of the united nations escrow account,while these consignment are kept with the united nations commission
For more than two years now the commission has been awaiting the refugee to come back for the funds and the gold consignment,But no body has find him any were in the world,
But According to a right source whom was arround when the consignment boxes was kept under the care of the united nation ,,said he had that the refugee had a drastic accident of which he lost one of his leg,
But as i am charting with you now ,the united nations commission has sent some investigation team to go and verify if really the refugee is still alife,
So i dont want you to be worried about the refugee since they are looking for him now,i know they will find him,
I wait to hear from you,
Regards,
Diplomat,Jolly Kamys

Mr Kamys,
It's definitely cash - I have the paperwork to that effect, and there was nothing whatsoever about any refugee estate. I am really puzzled.
Malcolm Reynolds

30 September 2010

Attn,,Malcolm,,
Mr Malcolm ,,i want you to for get paper work forget also the refugee,let us continue these transaction ,The united nations diplomatic has made it possible for you receive the two consignment boxes as the beneficiary,,
Mr malcolm i have told you how much that is needed for the clearance of the two consignment boxes ,let us try and get the boxes cleared for your own reason,
If you are ready i will just go ahead to give you the receiver of the $1000usd in order to procure the Non inspection certificate for the clearance of your two consignment boxes,
Mr Malcolm,i will be waiting to hear from you as soon as you are able to understand the next step,
Regards,
Diplomat,Jolly Kamys

Mr Kamys,
It's Mr Reynolds to you - and with respect, you said nothing before about what was needed for the boxes. I'm also not willing to accept the gold as I think that's not what I signed up for.
Malcolm Reynolds

Attn,Malcolm,
I can understand all bit of what you are talking about in respect to the gold consignment,I also think if really all the content of the consignment boxes is sopposed to be funds,as you said ,then there will be another option regarding what will at the end happen to the gold consignment boxes,
I just came up with a surgestion on the gold consignment boxes,I am thinking that since you dont want to receive the gold consignment boxes ,then if i may ask ,will you allow me to take them as my own after clearing the both consignment boxes from the airport, If it does so, then i want you to get back to me immediately on how we both will be able to clear the consignment boxes,
Regards to what i have tell you before "in the case of having the two boxes cleared,
{1}The Batten international airport cargo department demanded to have the Non inspection certificate which will clear all airport charges regards the two consignment boxes,
Regards,
Diplomat,Jolly Kamys

Mr Kamys,
There is no way that you are going to profit from this! Are you some sort of gorram mercenary?
The other point is that you mentioned getting the document. There was nothing about payment.
Malcolm Reynolds

Attn,Malcolm.
in case you dont know ,in every monetary issue there most be all sort of documentations that will cover the delivery of the funds through the means of diplomatic,
But i most make you understand that arguing in these matter about getting your funds cleared is the only solution to make a progress in your delivery,
Mr Malcolm i want you to tell me why you said i will not profit from these transaction,please get back to me as soon as you receive my mail.
Regards,
Diplomat,Jolly Kamys

Mr Kamys,
I assumed there'd be paperwork, but that's for the UN to pay.
You suggested taking the gold as your own. I'm saying that Uwe Boll will win an Oscar before I'll allow that to happen.
Malcolm Reynolds

Hello Mr Malcolm Reynolds,
I dont understand what you mean by the money and the gold is at Racine Airport, Wisconsin and who is give this information cause the boxes are still in the committee well-house here in ghana,because you have to register with the committee and prove to us that you are the rightful owner of this boxes before we can proceed in sending them to you with a diplomat.
Get back to me immediately you receive this mail cause i need to hear from you.
Regards,
Gen Dominic Kabila.

General Kabila,
You'd better update your records as the consignment is no longer in Ghana. It's been confirmed.
Malcolm Reynolds

1 October 2010

Attn,My Ambassador,
I didnt understand what you mean in Uwe,
REgards to the paper works i assumed also that the united nations diplomatic commission is sopposed to handle that aspect but because they have been able to safe the two consignment boxes for period of time,their own aspect of the paper works regarding your consignment boxes is of no use,
The only thing we will have to do now is for to contact the Batten international airport authority to know how much is needed for the Non inspection certificate which they demanded in order to get your two consignment boxes cleared,i can assure you that this will be only area were we needed a paper work,
And if at all that we are going to have the certificate done it mean you will be the person to finance the procurement of the certificate,So that it can be done in your own name as the beneficiary,
My Ambassador i will want you to contact these number for verification in order for us to get the certificate done in your own name,+16305689776,
Please try to get back to me as soon as you received my mail,
Regards,
Diplomat,Jolly Kamys,

Mr Kamys,
I have no clear idea what that second paragraph means. If the UN can't rely on its own records then what exactly are they using?
Furthermore, I did explain my inability to use the telephone, so stop giving me phone numbers. I'd like to see evidence of your paying attention.
Malcolm Reynolds

Attn,My Ambassador,
So what do you want me to do inrespect of these issue of getting you consignment boxes cleared,it will be good if you bring in your own ideal regarding how we both can be able to clear your consignment boxes,
Regards your question on the second paragraph, i am try to let you understand the steps to enable the cargo department of the airport release the boxes to me "so that i can go ahead an depart from the airport to meet with you,
And the only way for me to clear your two consignment boxes is by presenting to the Batten airport authority the very certificate they demanded from me as the diplomat ,
There after you are sopposed to know the reasons why the Non inspection certificate is sopposed to be procured by your own endorsement ,Why it was so its because the procurement officer wanted to be assure that he is releasing the two consignment boxes for the rightful owner and the appointed united nations diplomat,
Regards to the requirment i made today about how much is needed to get the Non inspection certificate done in your own name,
The procurement officer in Chicago told me that ,since it is a monetary issue it will be difficult for me to go ahead and clear the two consignment boxes just like that, without passing through normal procediour needed for your consignment boxes to be cleared by the airport authority,
This is how much that is needed for to get the certificate done,$1000usd,to be sent to Chicago Ohare for the procurement,
Regards,
Diplomat,Jolly Kamys

Mr Kamys,
You said that the consignment was in Wisconsin; now you're talking about officials in Illinois. I don't understand that. Also, you say that I have to pay to prove I'm the real McCoy. With respect, anyone could send $1,000 and it would prove nothing,
Malcolm Reynolds

Hello Mr Malcolm Reynolds,
I once told you i am the national chairman of this committee,so if anyone is telling that your boxes are in your country than i will call that a scam cause the committee have to contact you first for us to know if you are the rightful owner of this consignment boxes before we can proceed with the delivery.
So i will advice you for your own good to my meet with our terms than follow our instructions and proceeding for your consignment boxes to be deliver to you safe.
Regards,
Gen Dominic Kabila..

General Kabila,
The boxes are in the US, which for the record is not where I am. So if you've still got something there, either your records are at fault or you've got the wrong guy.
Malcolm Reynolds

Next up - a new general enters the fray, and Jolly risks chat!

Posted: Wed Aug 28, 2019 5:34 am

2 October 2010

Attn,Malcolm.
In accordance with the national security council Resolution 1368,all trunk boxes of these nature must conform to both KYC Regulation and the United Nations Resolution against Money Laundering and Terrorist Financing.
However,the united nations commission has appointed me as your diplomat whom will deliver the two consignments boxes to you,because of the diplomatic relationship that exist between our nations requires a formal proof of the knowledge of the funds in the box by the government of the source country of the box,by the means the Non inspection certificate which is sopposed to procured before i can clear your two consignment boxes,
With that items mentioned above,Our Government will be concise as to whom hold responsible for any illegal usage of this funds.
As usual upon receipt of the above ,The department will have no choice than to issue a formal release and the back up delivering documents to aid a smooth delivering of the box to you,
Your usual anticipation co-operation is very much appreciated.
Regards,
Diplomat,Jolly Kamys

Attn,,Malcolm.
Regards to the location of the payment ,you asked about payment,,
The payment is to be address to Chicago because this is were the procurement officer will be able to get the original copy of the Non inspection certificate done in your own name,
The reason why the certificate was not procured in Wisconsin its because the head officer of the IMF is in chicago,,
In respect of the payment ,you are making these payment done in order to get the certificate done in your own name as the beneficiary,
I wait to hear from you,
Regards,
Diplomat,Jolly Kamys

Mr Kamys,
Who the Sam Frick authorized your government to interfere in this, and what was the point of sending the boxes to JFK? For the love of Pete, get your gorram act together!
Malcolm Reynolds

Attn,Malcolm.
I have never came up with a conclution that i am going to send the boxes to JFK,i dont know were you came up with that ideal,What i told you was that we needed the Non inspection certificate to clear your consignment boxes from the airport were they are,
Please i am thinking some one has been writing you from some were in regards to your consignment boxes,i am saying these because ,,But i can assure you that ,the only consignment boxes which you have in respect of the refugee is the one that is at the batten international airport,This is the only boxes which the united nations diplomatic commission has assigned for delivery,
I will like to advise you that you should not listen to any one els regards to your two consignment boxes,because as soon as i can be able to have the non inspection certificate done in your name,i will then immediatelt go to the cargo department in order for me to clear your two consignment boxes before i will now depart from the airport to meet with you in what ever destination you wanted me to commence the delivery to,
Please your quick respond will be very much appreciated,
Regards,,
Diplomat,Jolly Kamys

Mr Kamys,
General Kabila was specific – that the boxes are in JFK awaiting shipment, and that you'd been given other tasks. Makes sense to me – the UN has better things to do! How else would the General have been authorized to take over the delivery?
Malcolm Reynolds

Hello Mr Malcolm Reynold,
How are you today?hope you are well and healthy and i also hope this mail meet you in a splendid hour,In response to your mail, the diplomat just call me this mourning that he has been on transit and has now arrive J F K International Airport,New York, that your boxes are among the ones that are with him for delivery.
So i will advice you contact the diplomat with this american local number,7162542831,than this is his [email protected]
Contact the diplomat and get back to me and also send the fees of $350 dollars for registration,so that i can get you the,DELIVERY PERMIT AND THE RELEASE ORDER 2010 EDITION,to enable the diplomat release the boxes to you when he arrive your destination.
Await your reply so that i can get this document done and send them to you to enable the diplomat release the consignment boxes to you,get back to me.
Regards,
Gen Dominic Kabila.

General Kabila,
Those boxes were supposed to be in Wisconsin! And for the love of Pete, I didn't want them sent to the US; they're supposed to be sent to Australia. Don't you people make things go right?
Malcolm Reynolds

3 October 2010

Attn,Malcolm,
As you may know,i will never do any thing which will implicate me or tell a lie just because of funds,i also want you to know that the united nations diplomatic commission has mount a mornitoring team whom are over seeing what ever i am doing to get your two consignment boxes clear from the batten international airport,
For instance "when you asked me what is the contents of your two consignment boxes i told you exack what they are through an exspirience of a scan process,i cannot tell you what i did not know or what i didnt see with my two eyes,
I have also told you not to listen to any one whom claim to be a general trying to tell you lie s so that he may get money from you,This is the reasons i will want you to be very carefull in what ever you are doing regarding these two consignment boxes,i can also assure you that your consignment boxes was kept understand the safe security of the batten airport because of people like General Kabila,
Mr Malcolm its certain that your consignment boxes are in the cargo department of the batten airport do not allow any one to decieve you,
There was never a time when your consignment boxes was at the JFK international airport ,Mr Malcolm the real fact is that when the two consignment boxes was kept under the united nations escrow account,so many persons heared about the funds and the gold consignment,
Some of these people have an intention to still your consignment boxes by impersonation by diplomats name were as they are not diplomat,That is the reason why the united nations commission now appointed me as the new diplomat whom will clear the two consignment boxes on yout name as the real beneficiary to the consignment boxes,
As i am speaking with you now ,i have so many codes and security numbers which will enable me clear the two boxes easily on your name,
These is what i am been waiting for you to come up with the money needed for me to clear the two boxes ,before i can go ahead to book my flight,
Rememeber ,what i told you about the destination of the payment to procure the Non inspection certificate in your name so as to enhance the clearance of your two consignment boxes as well,
Please dont listen to any one whom is pretending that your consignment boxes are ready for shipment when the major issue is that the boxes has not been cleared for delivery,
I wait to hear from you as soon as you are ready to make the payment,
Regards,
Diplomat,Jolly Kamys

Attn,Malcolm.
What has you done so far regarding the payment to be made in order for me to go ahead and procure the non inspection certificate,
Please "Mr Malcolm i want you to get back to me now with the payment slip,and i know before these can be done you must first come up with the money needed first,And if as the case may "in respect of the payment ,if the $1000usd is ready you can as well let me know about these so that i can give you the receiver name in Chicago,
Regards,
Diplomat,Jolly Kamys

Mr Kamys,
I now have a gmail account - [email protected]. Open up google chat there.
Malcolm Reynolds

Mr. Malcolm Reynolds
So now what do we do to enable the diplomat deliver the boxes to you in Wisconsin safely?since you now know that your boxes are among the ones in J.F KENNY International Airport,New York.
Get back to me so that we both put heads together to see that the boxes live New York for Wisconsin.
Regards,
Gen Dominic Kabila.

General Kabila,
I don't want the boxes to go to Wisconsin - I want them to go to Alice Springs, Australia.
Malcolm Reynolds

Another General enters the fray. Jolly Kamys must have called in some favours.

Attn:Malcolm
With due respect, we member of the Ghana Arm force wish to notify you that your involvement in the transactions on how your gold and funds consignment batten airport and the office of the Presidency has also approved the delivery to your two consignment boxes as soon as all required documentation are ready and presented to the airport authority.
Be informed that this office will confiscate all gold, consignments and funds you have in any foreign country and Banks, security companies, Customs and Batten international Airport if you fail to comply with the following instructions:
(1) Henceforth, all your transactions in Ghana will be monitored and handled by the Ghana Presidential Security task force,Headed by me General James Nana"And to enable your delivery done a united nations diplomat has been apointed to commence the delivery of your consignment boxes to you at your door step,
The person of Diplomat Jolly Karmys will be the one whom will deliver you r consignment boxes to you and these ideal of the united nations has been seal and signed by the office of the presidency,
(1) You will help this office to tramp fake officials of governmental offices and private companies in Ghana by forwarding to this office any communication coming to you out side this office..
Note, your consignments boxes are under our care from now onwards and you must have a Presidential Business Authorization Identity card that will empower you to transfer your consigment from the batten airport to your destination address were you are located, ,
Also, we need copy of your Drivers license or international passport to process the release of your consignments, Golds or Funds, and be informed that your personal signature must be in any release document that will be given to you by this office. Therefore, it is either you come to The Batten international airport so that you can get the process in signing the documents your self ,Or you hire a lawyer from the office of presidency that will sign the documents on your behalf. ,
Your urgent co-operation will be highly appreciated.
General,James Nana

General Nana,
With respect, but you can't confiscate money sent to me by the United Nations as it's not yours to take. Furthermore, there is no gold in that shipment, so you're clearly misinformed.
The rest of your proposed procedure makes little sense to me. I suggest that you confer with your colleague General Kabila on making this go right.
Final note; you will call me Mr Reynolds in future.
Malcolm Reynolds

Chat with Jolly Kamys
Mal: I'm here now, so talk to me!
Mal: I know you're there, so talk to me!
Lad: are you there my ambassador
Mal: Just call me Mr Reynolds please.
Lad: Mr Reynolds,ya i got it
so ,Mr Reynolds why are delaying the procurement of the non inspection certificate ,
Mal: Why the hell are you asking me that? I'm not the one making a Charlie Foxtrot out of this.
Lad: Because these will be the only source for me to clear the boxes and depart to any were you wanted me to deliver the two consignment boxes
Mal: That's not telling me anything. I still want to know why the boxes have been diverted.
Lad: So WHAT DID YOU ESPECT ME TO DO IN ORDER FOR ME TO BE ABLE TO CLEAR THE TWO BOXES WITHOUT THE CLEARANCE OF THE BOXES WITH YOUR OWN NAME AS THE BENEFICIARY
Mal: You know, for a diplomat you've got a real short fuse.
Mal: Are you still there?
Mal: Don't sulk, talk to me.
Lad: YES I AM,PLEASE EVERY THING YOU HAVE TO DO NOW IS TO HAVE THE CERTIFICATE DONE,AND IT MUST BE DONE BY YOUR OWN ENDORSEMENT
Mal: Stop typing in upper case.
Lad: WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT
Mal: Stop typing all in capital letters. I don't like that.
Lad: Okay i will do,
Mal: Good.
Lad: will it really pleased you if i should clear the two boxes and deliver them to you,
Mal: Just as soon as you sort it out with General Kabila. What we have here is a failure to communicate.
Lad: cann you please give me the general cell number
Mal: I have it; 00233343674748
Lad: hello,Reynold i have tried to call him but he is not picking up his calls,i have contacted some one to help me search for him,and also inform him that i needed to speak with him
Mal: Yeah. Why did you leave?
Lad: i didnt live it just that i was disconnected from the network aroundi am very busy at the airport ,am about to live the airport,and go to my hotel
Mal: So what happens now?
Lad: Its you am waiting for to come up with required money in order to have the Non inspection certificate done in your own name as the owner of the consignment
Mal: I want to know for sure who's responsible for what. You people need to work it out.
Lad: Do you mean me and general kabila
Lad: Mr Renolds ,what do you really wants to sure about
Lad: are u still there
Mal: Yes. I want to know where the money is, for certain.
Lad: my question is that ,what do you want to sure about
Mal: I want to know who I should be dealing with, for sure.
Lad: Okay ,that is why the united nations diplomatic commission has appointed me to clear your consignment boxes and make the delivery to you
Mal: That's not what General Kabila told me.
Lad: In the case of General Kaabila ,i have sent an agent to know whom really he is
Mal: He's a general in the Ghanaian army. There's nothing for a gorram agent to find out.
Lad: Mr Reynolds ,do you think working with Kabilawill help us get every thing done so easily,then if you think so,i will find out more details about him
Mal: If you'd been paying attention you'd have noticed that I don't know who the Sam Frick I should be talking to. It won't the first time that the UN bollixed things, and I'll bet it won't the last.
Lad: Mr Reynolds you still have to come up with more ideal
Mal: More what? You might want to finish that sentence.
Lad: I mean you brought up the issue of the general Kabila,i never knew him before,i dont think he will be the right person to work with in respect of the clearance to your two consignment boxes,
Mal: That's because he contacted me about the shipment. I didn't dream him up or anything.
Lad: okay ,that mean he will be in the rightful place to also help these situation,
i will always try to call him untill i get him
Mal: So you're saying that he is the one to handle this situation? So why did you say just now that he isn't?
Lad: yes i said so because there must be more fact since you are saying it was a shipment for only funds
Mal: What? Is there any chance that you could type a little bit more coherently?
Lad: Remember i told you that the scan report of the consignment boxes was gold consignment and funds consignment,
Mal: Yes, you did, and it wasn't. It's just money. There isn't any gold and there never was any gold.
Lad: what do you mean by coherently
Mal: I mean, can you type a sentence that doesn't leave me wondering what the hell you mean?
Lad: but i am telling you what exack is the content of the two consignment boxes,i saw them with my nicked eyes
Mal: You opened the boxes? They're supposed to be sealed!
Lad: No they didnt open the boxes it was scanned by an exstreem machine
that is how the result of what the content is came up
Mal: I'd say that the machine got it badly wrong.
Lad: it was not openned but still sealed as they are
Mal: Tell me, was the gold all supposed to be in one box?
Lad: Yes the funds are in one box then the gold defferent box
Mal: Right. Then are the boxes the same size?
Lad: Yes the boxes are thesame size with defferent security codes
Mal: Well, there's your problem.
Lad: what is the problem for for
Mal: The machine got it badly wrong for sure. Wait one.
Lad: how were you there
Mal: I said wait. Do the boxes weigh the same?
Mal: Hello?
Lad: Mr Reynolds are you kiding me,how can the weigh of a gold consignment be thesame thing with funds,
Mal: Right... so you should be able to tell from the weight alone if it's gold or money. What the hell is going on here?
Lad: Mr Reynolds why are arguing over these issue ,if there golds in a consignment and also a funds in thesame boxes, it may appear in a test that it a gold for the total result of the whole tset
Mal: Things don't get packed like that. It's all the same in one box.
Lad: But i will try all i can to make sure the test is carried out again
Mal: And if you say that there's gold, I'll know that something is very wrong.
Lad: Mr reynolds you may be right ,i am thinking there must be a missed up some were but i dont know,i think some thing is totally wrong
Mal: O RLY? Ya think, Kamys?
Lad: So by tomorrow morning i will be at the airport to get some things corrected,its like the time of the tranfer of the two boxes to batten airport there was a mistake there
Mal: What about the JFK issue? I'm still not sure that the shipments haven't been mixed up. That refugee matter that you mentioned makes me think that the pen-pushers screwed up bigtime.
Lad: What i really knows about your consignment boxes ,is when they are already arrived at the batten airport ,and the united nations diplomatic commission has also told about the reasons why the boxes were brought there,i was told its because some persons are coming to impersonate in order to go away with two boxes that is why they boxes are kept under the safe security of the batten airport authority,so i dont think i know any thing about the JFK
Mal: Haven't you people ever heard about security? Like, need to know and so on?
Lad: Yes i heared about security
Mal: So why the Sam Frick don't you practise it? I spent eighteen years in the US Marine Corps and it's second nature.
Lad: Mr Reynolds,security is the best thing that can happen to life and property
Mal: So why would anyone KNOW to try and get the shipment?
Lad: I surgest that we dont go and change the consignment from what we have already
Yes its because these are life wealth,
Mal: I never said to change anything. I just want this to go right.
Lad: I am hoping for you to come up with a right decision on how we can both have the two consignment boxes cleared
Mal: Excuse me, but how is that my job?
Lad: because you are the beneficiary and every aspect of the documentation is to be provided by your endorsement,al payment slip regards these Non inspection certificate will bear your name as the beneficiary,this is how its your job
Mal: That brings me to my next point. I'm not the beneficiary. I'm the custodian. That's different.
Lad: what do you mean by saying custodian
Mal: Look - beneficiary means the money's mine. It's not. I'm supposed to distribute the money as needed; hence custodian. You clear on that?
Lad: REmember that all documentation that involved in ocation requires your endorsement,these fact that yoiu are endorsing the procuement of the non inspection ,will automatically assured the procurement officers and the airport authorities that you are owner of the consignments,and only then that they can now go ahead in releasing the consignment or getting the certificate done i n your name as it was demanded of the airport authorities
Mal: Right. Your point?
Mal: Actually hang on a minute. "Non inspection"? But it's been inspected! You said so!
Lad: That is in regards on how the boxes arrived USA,But in aspect of these Non inspection it was needed because the boxes has been scanned ,and they also needed the IMF to sign the certificate before it can be presented to the airport authority,and these form of procuring the certificate must be done in Chicago
Mal: Why all the duplication?
Lad: Remember i told you some about Chicago
Mal: But the boxes aren't in Chicago.
Lad: No they are not in Chicago,
Mal: So what has Chicago got to do with non-inspection of boxes that have been inspected?
Lad: Okay? This is the result to some criminal activities that has been going on in the USA,of which the us gorvernment does not about,that is why it was decree that The IMF in Chicago will be the agents whom will be finalising all delivery monetary issue
Mal: Look, I can't stay on line. I have a medical appointment and I'm already running late. Be online at 1830-1900 my time and then you can explain. Leaving now.
Lad: okay ,i will do that

4 October 2010

Attn Malcolm,
I am sorry about the time wasted,I was all through busy today "trying to to get so many things in place before it come to the time of the delivery,i ahev been able to get the confirmation letter from the office of the presidency to also clear he international clearance certificate which has been presentd to the Batten airport authority,
At the time of getting all these done "i was thinking about coming online with you,But i managed to have these chance to write you these mail,
Regards,
Diplomat,Jolly Kamys

With regards to what you said about,We are able to get a report of the scan test here in Ghana ,for record purpose,I have just contacted you just to inform you about the released of the two consignment boxes by the united nations commission,
I have informed you ,i thing i have nothing to say to you any more,What i did is to amke you understand that your consignments has been approved ,But you can only receive the delivery for only one condition ,that is if you are ready to litsten to my instruction,I bet you with these you will not have problem in the time of the delivery,
Good luck my friend,
General James Nana

General Nana,
That was a whole heap of nothing you just wrote me. You indeed said nothing, so I don't know what the hell you're doing writing me in the first place.
Malcolm Reynolds

Gtreetings,Malcolm.
I was doing these because ,i was informed that the two consignment boxes were brought from my country,for because of this reason every documentation are being sent to me for record purpose,I can as well ssure you that if you can be able to listen to me ,every moves of your delivery will go very well as it sopposed to be,
Thanks for co-operation,
General,Jmaes Nana

General Nana,
As I'm not a friend or relation of yours I expect to be addressed as 'Mr Reynolds'. And given that the consignment is now in the hands of the United Nations, your part in this is surely over.
Malcolm Reynolds

Mr Malcolm Reynolds,
I once told you to contact the diplomat because he has been instructed to deliver to all legal owners of the consignment boxes in their country,which you will send your international passport and delivery address including your phone number to the diplomat for easy communication,so that when he finish with delivery in American he can head for Australia for your delivery.
Get back to me with feed back and i hope you have his contacts because i have once send it to you.
Regards,
Gen Dominic Kabila(G.F.C.R.C)

General Kabila,
Does this diplomat have a name? You didn't tell me.
Malcolm Reynolds

5 October 2010

The diplomat name is Jeffrey Morrison a United Nation senior diplomat.
Gen Dominic Kabila(G.F.C.R.C)

Chat with Jolly Kamys
Mal: Hello?
Lad: Mr Reynold
Mal: Yes.
Lad: i am very sorry about the delay
Mal: Whst happened?
Lad: There is no problem,the fact is that i was just trying to get all documents in place before the Non inspection certificate,will be procured
Mal: You never explained why there needs to be a Non inspection certificate of something that's been inspected.
Lad: Okay,You never understood me,i mean that,the inspection certificate is needed for the clearance of all airport charges and also to enable me live the airport to any were in the world with the consignment,and no one will question me for it,
Mal: You're a diplomat with diplomatic immunity. You don't get searched.
Lad: yes ?you are %100 correct about that word,But these certificate is needed to the fufilment of the international law
Mal: What?
Lad: yes?the international law ,controls all united nations offices and any country parastatus when it come to the issue of delivery,
Mal: Every country what? What's a 'parastatus'?
Lad: I mean every offices in conjuction with the united nations escrow account has to pass through the process of the Non inspection certificate done in the USA ,i can assure you that this is the new law in any international airport that is existing today
Mal: Escrow account? What the hell? We're talking cash here. There's no banking involved.
Lad: Have you never heared about the united nations escrow account
Mal: Why would I have?
Lad: the united nations escrow account ,gave allot of help when there was a problem in how to safe the consignment boxes,this is the reasons why the consignment was first of all kept under the safe security of the united nations escrow account,
Mal: You've lost me. No-one, I repeat NO-ONE, said any thing about any gorram escrow account.
Lad: So you dont even know the stress your consignment boxes went through just because of safe reasons
Lad: You see ,because no one then have the ideal of were the two consignment boxes were kept,
Mal: This sounds like a total Charlie Foxtrot!
Lad: Asuming they know about were the boxes were kept they could have let you know about these
Lad: what do mean by charlie foxtrot
Mal: You don't want to know. Let's just say that the UN has lived up to its reputation - justly deserved - as being run by fools.
Lad: so what are you trying to say
Mal: What do you think?
Lad: i dont know that is why i am askin g
Mal: Guess.
Lad: these an opinion ,and you brought it so you know what exack you are saying
Mal: Oh boy... plain talk is lost on you people.
Lad: you are sopposed to make me understand
Mal: My experience of the UN is that it is disorganised, inefficient, and corrupt. You ain't helping.
Lad: if the UN does not help ,do you think your consignment boxes will be safe
Mal: I don't know. We have a turf war between General Nana and Kabila. Nana is threatening to seize the consignment, but since it's way of his jurisdiction, he's blowing smoke.
Lad: what are you really thinking about,i haave told you what is needed in order for me to have your consignment cleared and delivered them to,but you just keep on wasting al the good time left to do these,
Lad: who is general Nana
Mal: I'm the poor schmo caught between two swinging dick third-world pissant REMFs. It ain't my fault this is a Charlie Foxtrot.
Lad: I dont like the way you are sounding
Mal: What's wrong with it?
Lad: i cant understand you any more
Mal: How come?
Lad: Because you never think of calling general Kabila to contact me so that i know whom he is
Mal: I can't call him. You know that. Oh thank you very much!
Lad: why ,cant you call him ,But there is no problem about calling him,because my agent there in Ghana told me he has been able to get intouch with him,so i wanted him to connect him with me some day
Mal: Holy shit on a shingle - don't you gorram well pay attention? I told you I'm hearing impaired.
Lad: hearing impaired ?"how
Mal: Not that it should be any of your business... IED blast in Fallujah. Both eardrums burst and permanent inner ear damage.
Lad: why was it so
Mal: What the hell sort of question is that?!?
Lad: am sorry,,, as you may know if i dont understand any of your terms ,i am sopposed to ask
Mal: Oh good grief... an insurgent bomb in Iraq - permanent injuries. Now do you get it?
Lad: In accordance with the national security council Resolution 1368,all trunk boxes of these nature must conform to both KYC Regulation and the United Nations Resolution against Money Laundering and Terrorist Financing.
Lad: this is why the non inspection certificate is required to clear the two consignment boxes
Mal: Don't see anything in 1368 about money laundering.
Lad: With that items mentioned above,Our Government will be concise as to whom hold responsible for any illegal usage of this funds.
Lad: As usual upon receipt of the above ,The department will have no choice than to issue a formal release and the back up delivering documents to aid a smooth delivering of the box to you,
Mal: Your government? Ghana isn't involved. That's what's been puzzling me about these Generals.
Lad: NO?"I MEAN THE GOVERNMENT OF USA

Remember the "passprot" in part 1? Kamys is about to find himself in hot water because of it.

Lad: i am not a Ghanian
Mal: What? Your passport says you are.
Lad: I am born and brought up in the USA
Mal: But your passport says otherwise. Not meaning to be a Truther or Tea Partier, but if you've got a Ghanaian passport, you ain't an American. Don't try any boondoggle on me.
Lad: YES,you are very correct,this is because of a mission sent through me by the united nation in a submit helded in ghana,that is how i owned that ID,
Mal: It says NATIONALITY: GHANAIAN. No wriggle room there. I don't like being lied to.
Lad: remember i told you about the relationship of the united nations and any international country
Mal: Your point?
Lad: I was not a ghania,but because of the international relationship i has been able to nationalized in Ghana that is how i got the un ID
Mal: Then you are no longer an American citizen.
Lad: lISTEN mR rEYNOLDS,I AM INTO A SERVICE TO THE WORLD
Mal: Yeah, right. It's after midnight here, I.m tired, and I need my sleep.
Lad: SO WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO HAVE THE $1000USD SENT TO CHICAGO OHARE
Mal: I don't know. Too many things have gone pear-shaped, and your boondoggle ain't helping. But like I said, I'm out of here, and ball's in your court.
Lad: listen mr Reynolds ,its very important i know about thi,remeber there is no more time to delay any more,you are sopposed to come up with money at least by tomorrow,so that we get the certificate done in your name,
Lad: I have promised that i will do every thing possible to make sure ,i delivered the two consignment with out any more delay of any kind,
Mal: Then you can wait while I consider my options, and see what the others have to say. And I suppose that your promise is made on your honor as an American citizen?
Lad: yes ,i promised
Mal: You aren't an American citizen. Don't make promises that you can never keep. Ciao.
Lad: why did you say that,because i am having a Ghana ID
Lad: This ID was given to me because of the international relationship which the US have the Ghana gorvernement
Mal: You cannot be serious.
Lad: why did you say this
Mal: An American citizen is not a Ghanaian citizen. That's it in a nutshell. It's a gorram fact!
Lad: i have told you before that it was because of the international relationship that have with them
Mal: So are you claiming dual citizenship?
Lad: HA HA, this is just the united nations diplomatic ID,I HAS AN USA international paassport
Mal: Then I'd like to see it. Unfortunately you can't do that.
Lad: do what ?
Mal: Copy a US passport.
Lad: how do i do that
Mal: You don't.
Lad: Mr Reynolds ,do you wnat me to deliver your consignment to you
Mal: I don't know. You can't be trusted.
Lad: why did you say so
Mal: You say impossible things.
Lad: Mr Reynolds,the ID was given to me becausei was working with the united nations
Mal: And you didn't question being described as a Ghanaian citizen? Listen - being born American is the greatest gift ever. You don't just give it away at the whim of the UN.
Lad: you are correct about that,i did give it,the ID is for the diplomatic issues alone
Mal: Then it's a lie.
Lad: how
Mal: Because it says that you're a gorram Ghanaian!
Lad: listen Mr Reynolds i am truely tired of the whole thing ,because i decided to tell you the truth
Mal: No-one has been straight with me. Not you, not General Nana, not General Kabila. It's been a major snafu from the git-go.
Lad: who is snafu
Mal: Nobody.
Lad: I have tried to make it for whom i am but you refused to understand me
Mal: Because what you claimed simply can't be as you stated it. I think we're done here.
Lad: Th fact is that ,i want to know if really you are a retired airforce
Mal: I'm a gorram Marine, not some perfumed flyboy.
Lad: yes, let me tell you the whole truth,i am a Ghanian
Mal: Right. So why did you lie to me?
Lad: i lied to you because i am also a special trained security when it come diplomatic issue,now that have known to you in all investigation,i have been able to figure out that you are the rightful owner of the two boxes,
Mal: What the hell!
Lad: I mean,you are a truthful person,
Mal: Look, I have a life of my own to lead, and I have tourists arriving in a couple of hours who are expecting me. And you bet your gorram ass that I’m truthful!!
Lad: Listen i have also find out that ,the two consignment boxes are funds not gold
Lad: So there are going to be changes

Next up - the cast continues to expand!

Posted: Fri Aug 30, 2019 12:14 pm

We resume with the bewildered General Nana.

6 October 2010

Hello,Reynolds.
What did you surgest will be the best way to assist in this transaction,I want you to find out what may be the problem why the consignments has not been clear up till these day,
Try to know and get back to me immediately,
Thnks for your co-operation,
General,James Nana

General Nana,
What part of "Your part in this is over" don't you understand?
Malcolm Reynolds

Chat with Jolly Kamys
Lad: hello,
Mal: Yes.
Lad: i am sorry about how i quited yesterday
Mal: You quit? I'm the one who left!
Lad: i just got an automatic net work failiur
okay,so you make me to begin blaimmy self
Mal: What? Are you back?
Lad: yes
Mal: Why do you keep dropping out?
Lad: no
i was answering call from the cargo department of the airport
Mal: Right...
Lad: the last time we both comunicated,we end up on the issue of getting the certificat done
Mal: A bit of a moot point since that agreement is now null and void.
Lad: please can you tell me why is it so
Mal: The sharing ratio. It says that I get a share. I don't want a share, and I don't want something saying that I did.
Mal: Hello?
Lad: yes am here
Mal: Why the hell are you still using dial-up?
Lad: hello are you there
Mal: Yes, but you weren't.
Lad: am here is like you are busy doing some thing els
Mal: You're the one who keeps vanishing.
Lad: i am sorry it will not happen agian
Mal: I'm on line and you're not so much of the time.
Lad: as you may know,since i wasappointed to clear your consignment boxes ,its always difficult for my to be on line when ever i chooses to
Mal: What else do you have to do with your time?
Lad: working ,but on the appropriate time
Mal: On what?
Lad: on what ever work i should do,for example i have to visit the airport always to make sure ,your consignment boxes are safe
Mal: Isn't there security for that?
Mal: STOP GOING OFFLINE!!!!!!!!
Lad: and i am assuring you that as soon as these certificate is procured ,i willhave no option than to go ahead to book my flight
i am on line
Mal: Fine, but whatever agreement was signed off on has to be changed. This is ridiculous.
Lad: Mr Reynolds try all you xcan to understand me in order for us to finalized
Mal: I've understood everything. I hoped that you would understand me.
Lad: i needed to understand you if you can be able to give me that chance,i am saying these because you are the major source for the clearance of the two consignment boxes from the airport
Mal: Listen to me - until that UN agreement is abrogated and a new one drawn up, I'm accepting nothing. Get that done, and send me copies of each. And if you go offline again, don't bother logging on again to chat tonight.
Lad: the UN has nothing to do about these delivery any more,since i have been appointed to make these delivery,
Mal: But you’re with the UN. Talk to your bosses, get that gorram document revoked and re-done.
Lad: The only documentation we needed now is the certificate,but if you needed a Guarantee letter from the UN i will ask them for it
Mal: That's not what I'm asking for. You said they made an agreement. I want it on record that the agreement was never agreed to by me and it was revoked at my orders. Then a new one has to be drawn up and filed. I want nothing on record that shows me as some gorram profiteer! Is that clear?
Lad: Okay i got you now,you dont want the douments to be done in your name as the beneficiary
Mal: Exactly. Get it done.
Lad: okayo okay,i understand you now
Mal: I am the custodian, and do not want to profit from these funds.
Lad: so in what name do i clear the consignment boxes
Mal: What the hell? My gorram name, but not as the beneficary. Let's not go through this again.
Lad: You must note ,that there no way i can clear the boxes on my own self ,without a receiver of the consignment boxes
Mal: For the love of Pete - didn't you read what I just wrote?
Lad: okay you mean the consignment is going to be cleared for the love of pete
Mal: Don't joke with me, dammit! I am being very serious! Act your gorram age!
Lad: I got you,you are saying that i should clear the boxes in respect of pete
Mal: No I am not, you bonehead. You know my name, so don't make fun of my slang. You have a real talent for rubbing me the wrong way. I suggest you don't.
Mal: I said before I don't have much time for the UN and its bureaucrats. You're not helping matters.
Lad: Listen ,,i have agreed o your options but ,but i will have to procure the certificate,and i needed the $1000 to get the certificate,and i have promised that ,as far as i am concern the un will not be part of these tranaction any more,i know i can get the boxes out of the aairport as soon as we are to procure the certificate
Mal: There's no point in getting the certificate because the boxes aren't moving until the agreement matter is resolved. No arguments.
Lad: i have never understand very much ,the kind of an agreement you are talking about ,what exack
Mal: OK, that's it, I'm logging off for tonight. You said you knew what I meant and now you don't. Holy shit on a shingle... what does it take?
Lad: did you mean the agreement on how the boxes were trasfer from jfk to the batten airport

Lad: hello
are you there
Mal: Why did you send a gmail invite? I already have gmail!
Lad: i am so sorry
Mal: What do you think makes this chat possible?
Lad: i was trying to connect my charting aspect
Mal: Your what?
Lad: i was having a problem to connect with you
Mal: And the invite would have achieved... what exactly?
Lad: yesterday ,i was waiting for you to come on line with but you couldnt
how are the tourist whom visited you yesterday
Mal: Tourists, plural. They're fine. Busy week ahead. Two groups - one US, one UK.
Lad: oh that is a great moment
Mal: I guess so.
Lad: did they come to your living home
Mal: No. Why should they? They've got reservations.
Lad: okay,
Mal: 24 people won't fit into my living room.
Lad: that is what i am talking about,is not good to receive visitors into homes any how,even if they are tourists
Mal: I'm not exactly sure how to take that.
Lad: you better,because i dont trust any body,regards to our transaction,any body can be a spy,
Mal: But no-one's supposed to know about it, right? These groups booked back in May-June - who knew about it back then?
Lad: Remember i told about some thieft that is about to go on at the airport in respect of your consignment boxes,but they didnt suceed
Mal: You did? When was that?
Lad: It was the first wek ,when i was appointed by the UN,some came to inpersonate me as the diplomat who is going to clear the two consignment boxes,but he was cought
this is the reason why there was a delay in the airport regards to the clearance of your two consignment boxes
Mal: Was that why the boxes went to JFK?
Lad: At first they went to JFK,But as i am speaking with you now they are at the batten airport were the UN has directed them to,for security reasons
Mal: From Batten to JFK to Batten? Whose idea was that?
Lad: it was because of the attempt of theft that make the UN diplomatic commission to change the location of the boxes for security reason
are you there
Mal: Was the FBI OK with that?
Lad: yes sir even the homeland security knows about the thieft attemt
Mal: I should hope so. Any crime at an airport is a Federal offense. Felony, I mean.
Lad: those that are involved in these inpersonation was all arrested,after a proper interogation ,one of them managed to confess that they have been impersonating like these for a long time,
Mal: That sounds like a sort of niche offense.
Lad: that is it,i am hoping thy are all in jail,even one the airport worker was involved in the attempt
Mal: All? How many are we talking about>
Lad: That is why want you to take proper care and find a way were you can be able to come up the amount needed to enable the certificate in yourown name as the beneficiary
just two consignment boxes
Mal: I'm not the beneficiary. I told you that.
Lad: But ,but you are the one to receiver the delivery
Mal: I know. But that doesn't make me the beneficiary.
Lad: According to the UN before agreed to commence the delivery ,they said ,you are going to splint the content of the consignment boxes %70,%40,you will own %40 then the refugee is %70

I let his bad maths go - there was a bigger issue.

Mal: What?
Lad: yes that was the aagreement they come up with
Mal: I'm not keeping any of that gorram money! What the Sam Frick do you take me for? And I don't give a hairy rat's ass what agreement they made!
Lad: Okay,what is your own opinion
Mal: What do you think I mean? Holy shit on a shingle - what does "I'm not keeping any of that gorram money!" mean to you? You thought I was some sticky-fingered profiteer. I am pissed off!
Lad: you are soposed to come up with your own ideal
Mal: WHY DID YOU MAKE THE GORRAM AGREEMENT WITHOUT CONSULTING ME? I am really, really angry. I don't want to keep chatting right now in case I need a new monitor.
Lad: Mr Malcolm this is not my fault,i was invited by the UN for these delivery,they just told me the situation ,i never knew you before,
Mal: Whatever. I'm going now. If you have anything else to say, it's going to have to wait.
Lad: Mr Reynolds, i am very sorry about the net work failiure
Please accept my apology

Attn: Jeffrey Morrison
General Dominic Kabila directed me to contact you - I assume that you've been briefed.
Malcolm Reynolds

7 October 2010

Dear Mr. Malcolm,
Yes, I have been briefed and I am in London now and my number is, +447045723077. You are in Australia? I was told in the U.S.
Please fill the African Union home delivery form that I am attaching to you so that I can have your delivery address,fill in the portion meant for you and send back immediately.
Attach is the AUD FORM.
Sincerely,
Dip. Jeffery Morrison

Mal: Now, do you know what I was talking about last night? Something I said?
Lad: hello are you there
Mal: Yes. Why do you do that?
Lad: remember you told me about how you are going to be an mbassador,so for these reason,there must be a secrete in what ever we both are doing now
Mal: What has that got to do with anything? The ambassadorship isn't a secret - hell, it's why I'm being entrusted with the funds.
Mal: Get a better connection, dammit!
Lad: so what agreement are you asking me to discharge from the un
Mal: The one where they agreed on a split. Hell, you quoted it!
Mal: One more logout and I'm gone for the day. You know that pisses me off.
Lad: NO NO /Please dont go I am just surgesting what may be the case
Mal: Well, what are you going to do?
Mal: I warned you.
Lad: listen,i will like to say i am even confused,i just wanted every thing to be done in your own wish,i hope you understand me,I can only assure you for one thing,that is if the certificate can be procured i will immediately go head to book my flight ,and then depart from the airport with your two consignment booxes to meet with you in what ever destination address you wanted me to arrive,,,this is all i can guarantee you regards to your consignment boxes,i can also assure you that after these certificate is procui am not sopposed to remain at the airport any more,this is my words of honor to you,
hello ,Mr Rey
Mal: What's happening?
Lad: I was afraid when i did hear from you
Mal: Afraid of what?
Lad: i want you to know that ,as far the two boxes are still at the arport awaiting the clearance,the airport authority will deffinately inpose a tax duty on them
Mal: Then get that gorram agreement redone. Why haven't you?
Lad: Mr Reynolds,I want you to know that ,every aspect of the delivery is okay,what i needed now as the diplomat is,the certificate which will clear the two boxes from the cargo department of the batten airport,I assure you that as soon as the clearance is done i will immediately go ahead to book my flight and meet with you in any place were you wanted me to arrive
Mal: So you haven't done anything about the agreement. Why not?
Lad: there is no more an agreement,the only thing we both have to do now is to get the certificate
Mal: There is an agreement on record with the UN that I'm receiving 40%. That agreement has to be redone to show that I'm taking nothing from the money.
Lad: Yes , i have informed you about these before,they all know now that you have nothing from the fund,its just an help to the refugee to receive the boxes,the united nations does not even know if you are the one to receive the consignment boxes unless they are been told about it
Mal: But they must have been told to have signed off on the agreement! You're making no sense.
Lad: okay do you want an irrevocable letter of signing off these formal agreement
Mal: No, because that would take me out of the loop totally. It has to be a new agreement.
So get to it and don't let me down.
Lad: okay ,i will have to do exack that,

8 October 2010

Mr Malcolm Reynolds,
How are you?hope you are okay cause i write to hear from you afar you have gone with the diplomat?have contacted him cause he called me that he is heading to Australia,and i will advice you put everything in place,so that he can make a quick delivery and live without wasting time cause i have order assignment for him.
Get back to me as you receive this mail cause i need to hear from you.
Regard,
Gen Dominic Kabila.

General Kabila,
How can he be heading for Australia? We still haven't settled the agreement problems!
Malcolm Reynolds

The third general enters the fray.

Dear sir,
My name is General Goodman K. Mbe this consignment containing huch amount of money was discovered and we found out that it belongs to you kindly provide your identity for cliam before it will be sent to the government of Ghana or to the Ecowas. You need 3000 ghanacedis to resove and receive your money. One of the Nigerian bad boys tried to steal this money out of Africa and he was captured in Ghana by the UNITED STATE MONITOING TEAM LEADER MR. HAGOPIAN BARKEV.
I am yours Friend,
Gen. Mbe.
Private email: [email protected]

General Mbe,
That money was supposed to be under UN care in the US! Where are you?
Malcolm Reynolds

Chat with Jolly Kamys
Mal: Progress report please.
Lad: i am still on it
Mal: What's taking so long?
Lad: they agreed but i still have to wait for some peper work in respect of these issue
hello are you there
Mal: Yes.'
Lad: Mr Reynolds i think it will be more okay if you should go ahead to make the payment done
Mal: There's no point until this matter is cleared up.
Lad: i have told you that this matter is cleared already since three days ago ,when you ask that the issue should be treated these way
Mal: So where are my copies of the original and revised agreements?
Lad: Mr Reynolds these have to be done today and be finalised by the procurement officer in Chicago
Mal: I don't care if it has to be notarized by the tax officer in Anchorage. Without that agreement I'm not accepting anything. I've said that over and over again.
Lad: Okay i will get bac to you as oon as i get jt totally done bo oday
Mal: Fine.
Lad: Mr Reynold,i will send the agreement letter as soonas i got it done today,,,,,
Mal: Fine.
Lad: Please ,i want you to get back to me with your curren home address
Mal: You don't need it until the agreement is done. Stop getting sidetracked!
Lad: are you there

09 October 2010

Attn,Reynolds,
In regards of the reversed agreement between the united nations and i on the delivery of the two consignment boxes,
We all held a meeting today in respect of these issue, and the formal agreement was revised according to your own wish,,So for these reasons i can now assure you that every aspect of these transaction is safe for you and me,
Please on the attachment is the agreement document ,they also have their own copy in respect of the agreement letter,
Please what ever that may be your opinion should be sent to me as soon as you notice any erro regards these agreement letter,
Regards,
Diplomat,Jolly Kamys

Mr Kamys,
Where in that letter does it state that I am not taking any of the money for myself? You also didn't say how much was in the boxes. I'm afraid that it's not acceptable.
Malcolm Reynolds

Attn,Reynolds,,,
In regards of your reply on the agreement letter sent to you,,In respect of revised agreement done to the formal agreement of the united ntions commission,
Mr Reynolds i can assure you that this is all we needed in respect of the document agreement which you are sayig about,as these may interest you the agreement letter is not sopposed written on it the amount or the content of the two consignment boxes,
Regards to the stated issues on the agree ment letter it also shows that you are not taking any money from the consignment boxes boxes,so i dont see any reason why another agreement letter is going to be done,
Mr Reynolds,Let me tell you some thing ,,,,,it took me the sum of $400usd to get the agreement letter done,i can swear that is all i have in my credit that i have used in getting the agreement letter today,so for now i am having only $50usd on my credit card,Mr Reynolds ,you knoew i am a family man i will have to send some money to my family ,,,
Mr Reynolds ,there nothing we can do about these ,unless you decided to pay for it to be changed again to what you wanted the agreement letter to look alike,as for me i think there no problem of having such letter as a an agreement letter,
Mr Reynolds,, i prefer we accept the letter of agreement that was procured for today as the only agreement that will hold both of us together that you are not taking any money from the consignment boxes,
I wait to hear from you as soon as you are ready to send the money needed to get the united nations delivery permit done,
Regards,
Diplomat,Jolly Kamys

Mr Kamys,
With respect, that letter says nothing about my not taking anything from the money. In fact it doesn't mention the money at all! Don't you think that's a major oversight?
Further, I don't understand how you, a UN diplomat, had to pay for official documentation. That makes no sense at all and I'd like you to explain how the UN could do that.
Malcolm Reynolds

Attn,Reynolds,
The payment i made was not direct ,,but was done inorder for me to have the agreement letter so quickly,
I have told you to forget about the amount of money that is in the consignment boxes,it cannot be done these way,Mr Reynolds the more you argues about the clearance of your boxes i bet you the more taxes are imposed on the consignment boxes for because of too much stay of your consignment boxes at the airport,
Please get back to me now,
Regards,
Diplomat,Jolly Kamys

Mr Kamys,
It seems you bribed someone. Well, that was your decision, not mine. If you're low on cash, don't blame me.
If you'd done what I said and hadn't fought me at every turn, this would not have been such a boondoggle.
Malcolm Reynolds

I am In Ghana but Mr Hagopian Barkev is from the United State but works with the United Nation.
You have to claim this fund as quickly as possible if you need it in the united state we can post it there for you as soon as you are ready to comply with us. i
You can have it in less than 3 days in the united state please kindly give us you telephone number for easier communication.
General Goodman K Mbe.

General Mbe,
The money is now at JFK airport in the US - so I don't know what you've got there. Tell Mr Barkev to write me.
Malcolm Reynolds

Chat with Jolly Kamys
Lad: Good day Mr Reynolds,i hope all things are okay,
i have waited to hear from you,but you were not trying to give any information on how i can go head to clear your four consignment,
At least you are supposed to be in the right position to direct these transaction,but you are not doing it,instead you keep on wasting more time by how you are doubtfull,
please,try your best to understand that there is no more time left to have the boxes cleared from the airport,
Lad: Mr Renolds, i have awear not to let you down,i want you to promise me that also ,that you will not let me down,
i can also assure you of delivery your consignment boxes with out any delay,i will fight as i can to make sure i got every thing right in respect of the clearance and the delivery of the four consignment boxes to you,
Lad: Please try as you can to get back to me if you have been able to come up with the payment of the $1000usd to enable me go ahead to clear your consignment,i will be waiting,i repeat,
Thanks for yours kind co-operation,

Lad: hello
Mal: Yes.
Lad: the agreement letter which i sent to you was okay
Mal: I don't agree.
Lad: Mr Rey,I can assure you that with that agreement letter we are both cover
Mal: Mr Reynolds, thank you, not Mr Rey. I'm not the gorram King of Spain!
Lad: ha ha ha a
Mal: Do not laugh, Mr Kamys, At least I get your gorram name right!
Lad: i just wanted to abriviate the spelling of your name
Mal: Well, don't. There's no reason.
Lad: I want you to agree to one of these issues on how we may get the united nations delivery permit done,,
Mal: How many issues are there?
Lad: just one,,,and its the united nations delivery permit
Mal: Which is being dealt with.
Mal: Yes?
Lad: hello.are you there
Mal: Yeah, I was wondering where you'd gone.
Lad: am here
Lad: am especting you to get back to me ,
Mal: Why? I was waiting for you.
Lad: regards to the $1000usd in order for me to clear the consignment boxes
Mal: That's being done. I was waiting on the agreement, so it might delay things.
Mal: That's why your guarantee was a disappointment. General Kabila was pretty scathing.
Mal: So when can you get the final version done?
Lad: I will take the same agreement letter back to the unites antions commsion to change the write up on the agreement document,
Mal: Can't you just use the original agreement as a template?
Lad: I hope what you needed them to do is ,show the amount of money and that you are not taking money from the consignment boxes
Mal: Absolutely. Once I show them that, the clearances are a done deal.
Lad: okay,but in an issue like theese the amount of money is not sopposed to be shown on the agreement letter, its certain
Mal: What? Why the hell not?
Lad: it not going to work so
Mal: That's just not good enough.
Lad: why did you say that,,,
Mal: It has to say how much is in the consignment, and there has to be a record of exactly how much I'm getting.
Lad: in that case it means these agreement letter will be taken to thee IMF authority
Mal: Why the IMF? What have they got to do with it?
Lad: Because the agreement letter is now adopting the sum of $$ in the body of the document,so the IMF will be in abetter position to get the agreement letter cleared befoer it can be valid
Mal: WTF? That makes no gorram sense!
Lad: what is the meaning of that\
Mal: The IMF has nothing to do with the UN! It's like getting the FBI to sign off on the EPA's work. I am very confused.
Lad: this is because monetary issue has come in the agreement letter,you soposed to know that even the un have their own limit when it come to things like this
Mal: Are you kidding? The UN has huge amounts of money. Hell. they waste enough of it!
Lad: no ,,am serious about it,that why i decided to get the agreement with out the amount mentioned on the agreement letter
Mal: What sort of cockamamie cowboy outfit are you with? I thought the UN was looney tunes, but not off the gorram planet!
Lad: i cant understand what you saying
Mal: Well, I can't make sense of you either. The IMF is concerned with global monetary policy. It's not about vetting every UN document that mentions money.
Lad: I got you ,,,but there nothing i can do about it,rather you will agree to the term of condition
But i will still have to try my best,on contacting the board of chairment there in newyork
Mal: It'll be easier for General Kabila to arrange.
Lad: arrange for what
Mal: The agreement. Maybe the UN will pay attention to him.
Lad: how can a general in an africa country have say in an issue of the united nations diplomatic commission,it does not work so,there no way he can be listen to by any body of the commission ,so i think we better do what we knopw is right to get the consignment boxes cleared from the airport,
Mal: You're a dingbat civilian with reality issues, and I'd trust a General over some 4F any time.
Lad: so i think it will be very okay we both put our head to gether now to have the two consignment boxes cleared before it too late,
Mal: Too late for what?
Lad: you can also remember that i told you about some one coming to impersonate in regards of the two consignment boxes,
Mal: Your point being?
Lad: being what
Mal: How can some deadbeat in Wisconsin or wherever be relevant to General Kabila? He's the real McCoy.
Lad: so what did you think about these,should i contact him so that he find out what the solution may be
Mal: Maybe I should get him to contact you.
Lad: alright,i think that will be more better
Mal: I'll get in touch with him.
Mal: I await further news.
Lad: please try all you can to come up with the $1000usd by the end of today so that i can go ,in getting the delivery permit done immediately,
Mal: OK, let's get a few things straight. First off, it's the weekend, so no banking. Secondly, even if it was a weekday, I don't know where to send the money.
Lad: you are sending the money to Chicago O hare,
and here is the receiver name,LAMAR BOYD,you will have to address the payment to Chicago Ohare for the procurement
Lad: you will send the money via money gram angent ,
Mal: Oh no I won’t. MoneyGram to pay official fees? And without an invoice?
Lad: why, you can't
Mal: Get out of town!
Lad: so how do you make these payment now
Lad: the money gram agent will give you a payment slip which you will attached and sent to me in order for me to present the slip to the procurement office there in Chicago,so as to aid the clearance of the two consignment boxes
Mal: Send me an invoice and a bank account to send the money to.
Lad: please is there any money gram there in your location
Mal: Not in Alice Springs - not that it matters.
Lad: Please i may like to inform you that the money gram payment slip is more authentic in the procurement of the delivery permit,please try as you can to listen to me,as well,because i am sopposed to be in the right position to jknow exack what is going on at the airport in regards of the two consignment boxes,
Mal: STOP IGNORING ME!!
Lad: Mr Reynolds i am sorry you must find some were ,that you can locate a money gram agent
Mal: No, you will do as I say. Even the UN doesn't do things so gorram casually.
Lad: Listen Mr Reynolds ,in regards to the procurement of the delivery permit ,i think money gram is more authentic in making these kind of payment,Please just try and follow my instruction
Mal: I refuse. Simple as that.
Mal: Authentic my ass. Nothing is more authentic than a properly certified wire transfer.
Lad: am sorry there nothing i can do about giving you an account,when the procurement officer demanded a money gram payment slip
Mal: Tell the gorram procurement officer to pull his gorram head in! He has no right to make such demands.
Lad: do you teach him his job
Mal: It's got nothing to do with his job.
Lad: look Mr Reynolds, i told you that ,its not easy in the first place here in the airport ,in getting documents cleared ,,before you talk about clearing the consignment boxes,this is a process we must follow in order for us to have the consignment boxes cleared and delivered to you
Mal: So where in these gorram processes does it lay down the rule that payments must be made only by Moneygram and no other way?
Lad: this is because of the scan copy of the money gram payment slip,its really authentic to get the procurement officer assured
Mal: So there are no ACTUAL rules to that effect.
Lad: this is a process which they having been using to get documentation done in Chicago,with the attached money gram pyment slip,Mr Reynolds i will assure you that there no other way for these money "is to sent ,the only means is the money gram,am afraid they will not receive another source,
Mal: That is sheer fucking lunacy. I don't often swear, but you've crossed the line here.
Lad: listen Mr Reynolds,i know you are angry over these act,but we must comply to the rules this is their in order to get any documents done there,
Mal: You find me a copy of those rules and I'll accept it. Until then...
Lad: Why is it you always want difficulties in these transaction as soon as we coming to the final aspect of the clearance to the two consignment boxes
Mal: If you made more gorram sense and didn't say such drivel I wouldn't mind.
Mal: Well?
Lad: now you drived me to the end ,i have now began to call the procurement officer ,to ask him for help ,in order for them to receive the payment through bank account information
Mal: You do that!
Lad: i will get back to you as soon as i finished contacting the officer
Mal: Fine!
Lad: are you there
Mal: Yes.
Lad: Mr Reynolds, did you receive the receiver name which i sent to you,regarding the procurement officer
Mal: You sent it before.
Lad: yes ,,i sent it before,As you can see there no other means for these payment to be made,just try and listen to me,so that we get these boxes cleared once for all
Mal: I don't see it at all. You haven't explained it in any way.
Lad: okay, here is the receiver name,LAMAR BOYD,address the payment to Chicago ohaare
Mal: No. Not without an invoice at the very least. And you are aware that I'll probably have to travel to meet this demand?
Lad: Please just do it for the sake of the refugee and my stress at the airport because of clearing the two boxes
Mal: What gorram refugee? It's supposed to go to relief work and the like, such as in Pakistan. It does not belong and never had belonged to anyone. And as I said - since I have to travel some distance to make the payment, I expect some slack to be cut. So send me the invoice.
Lad: were are you
Mal: Right here.
Lad: so are we progressing
Mal: I don't know. You ducked the last issue I raised.
Lad: Mr Reynolds,i have tried to convince the officer about these case but he still insisted on using the money gram,so i think its better we follow up his instructions
Mal: Not that, you bonehead!
Lad: you have just insulted me,,
Mal: That's because you just don't listen!
Lad: But as the case may be,i think its certain that the guy really needed the payment to be done through money gram,And according to his point of view,he said it more quick and secured
Mal: THAT IS NOIT THE ISSUE NOW!!!
Lad: if you use the banking aspct it will delay
Lad: then what is the issue
Mal: I said that if I use MoneyGram, I have to travel. I also want an invoice whichever way it goes.
Lad: Please ,,i beg you in the name of GOD almighty you try as much as you can to make the trip,it will be much better than using the banking aspect,
Mal: Don't beg - I don't like people who grovel.
Lad: the banking aspect will stay up to one good month before it can be approved
Mal: Bullcrap. It takes days at most.
Lad: Listen ,,Mr Reynolds the procurement officer is saying the truth,these delay of funds in the bank was becaause of too many problem going on all over the the world today,

Confusion ensues as English usage is too much for poor Jolly.

Mal: Too-wubba-hoo?
Lad: i think ,you will help in teaching me most of these language
Mal: It was just a way of showing surprise.
Lad: okay
Lad: the united nations commission will be having a meeting in new york next week
Mal: Whoopee.
Lad: i want to know the actual meaning these two words wubba-hoo,Whoopee
Lad: are you
Lad: are you there
Mal: The first is surprise, the second was sarcasm.
Lad: i really want to know this one
Mal: Which one.
Lad: sarcasm.
Mal: Use a dictionary.
Lad: but you are sopposed to be in a better position to tell me these,you created the i mean you invented it just now ,the will be the one to tell me the meaning
Mal: Sarcasm is in the dictionary. It's been around for centuries!
Lad: but you told me,you are sopposed to be in a position to tell me
Mal: Use a dictionary - hard copy or online.
Lad: so now you are telling me you dont know what you wrote
Mal: All right, I'll get a dictionary! Holy shit on a shingle!
Lad: so what day are going to send the money,
Mal: http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/sarcasm
Lad: a sharp, bitter, or cutting expression
Mal: There you are.
Lad: A tongue of which the user speaks of something the complete opposite of what the user means. It often has the best comedic value.
Mal: Do you get it?
Lad: i got it
Mal: Fine.
Lad: so why are you saying all these
Mal: Because I am not impressed with you or the United Nations,
Lad: Mr Reynolds here you come again,i cant tell you a lie,even if i do ,i will still come to face it,so why do i lie to you,for what i know i can benefit from,i m very sure of that ,if i complete the delivery of the two consignment boxes i wil be compesated at the end of these transaction
Mal: You have been obstructive, inarticulate, and downright out to lunch so much of the time I despaired of getting a straight answer out of you.
Lad: Mr Reynolds,I think what ever you say will be the correct word since you dont want me to come up with a plan regards the clearance of the consignment boxes from the airport,so you go ahead to make all decision
Mal: I'll try again.
Mal: I will have to travel to make the payment if I choose tje Moneygram option. OK?
Mal: Hello?
Lad: m here
Mal: Address my last point please.
Lad: here is the receiver name,LAMAR BOYD,address to Ohare Chicago,
Mal: Did you read the point I made about travelling?
Lad: yes ,i did
Mal: So why did you ignore it before?
Lad: you are trying to make an option,if to use the means of money gram or not ,is that not so
Mal: NO! I am simply pointing out that it's a personal inconvenience. Are you aware just how far I would have to travel?
Lad: this is it,okaay, i got you now
Mal: Hallelujah! (Sarcasm)
Lad: No, please,please exsplain to me,i will like to understand and feel every part of these,please tell me how far it is
Mal: To be sure of reaching a Moneygram outlet I would be required to travel thousands of kilometers. Australia is a big area.
Mal: You're enjoying this, aren't you?
Lad: christ,my lord,
Mal: Sarcasm?
Lad: so it means you are going to travle thousands kilometers.before you can get a money gram agent,
Mal: Bingo!
Mal: (Sarcasm)

Jolly tries to display his linguistic virtuosity - he shouldn't have bothered.

Lad: you have started again,oyera dica gi,
Mal: What is "oyera dica gi"? Doesn't look like English.
Lad: that is a slanc here in the USA
Mal: Sure it is.
Lad: IT means God help us all
Mal: In what language?
Lad: I learnt it from a freind of mine from ethiopia
Mal: Oh for sure. You'd be amazed how common Amharic slang is in the US.
Lad: they are many there,you know they are very strong people
Mal: In the US? I don't think so.
Lad: so you never knew most of them live in the US
Mal: Are we talking about the same country?
Lad: i gotone as my whom sells fruits on the road side when i was in newyork
Mal: Ethiopia, next door to Somalia.
Lad: yes yes , you are correct
Mal: Right.
Lad: they are good in business ,they like mostly buying and seeling,
Mal: Ethiopia, population 85 million, so says Wikipedia. Number of Ethiopians in the US, between 300,000 and 500,000. You want to reconsider what you said back there?
Lad: is that true
Lad: how come they are all there in large ppopulation
Mal: You mean in the US?
Lad: yes
Mal: Well, they are maybe 0.1% of the population.
Mal: That ain't a lot compared to at least two million Cubans. Do the math.
Lad: that will be difficult to calculate
Mal: No - it's about 0.5%.
Lad: are sure about sending the money today
Mal: No.
Mal: Remember that bit about travel being required?
Lad: may be you will be very busy today
Mal: I just said... Remember that bit about travel being required? Do try to keep up!
Lad: oaky, so when are you making the trip
Mal: I'll let you know. Mind you, given that I have obligations to my tour groups, don't rely on it being soon.
Lad: are the tourist still rround
Mal: It's a tourist town.
Lad: okay ,, a tourist town
Mal: Yeah, so there are lots of tourists. You have heard of Uluru, Kakadu, and so on?
Lad: Uluru To Kakadu is your one stop source of information for everything related to tours, accommodation and car hire in the Northern Territory of Australia.
Mal: Google is your friend.'
Lad: my very good friend
Mal: Anyhoo - I'm off to bed.
Lad: so when will i aspect you
on how the payment should be made

Next up - four more Generals join the bait, and a shameful episode in Australian legal history provides a lengthy distraction.

Posted: Sat Aug 31, 2019 11:59 am

10 October 2010

Mr Malcolm Reynolds
Than i will want you to attend to agreement issue for him to start coming to Australia cause he have other delivery to make.
Regards,
Gen Dominic Kabila.

General Kabila,
That depends on that bonehead Kamys, and he's dragging his feet.
Malcolm Reynolds

Here's the first of the new generals in this batch - and a five star, yet!

KOTOKA INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT OF GHANA PRESENTLY IN * DELIVERY SERVICE FROM CHICAGO HERE IN O HARE INTERNATIONAL AIRPORTI*
GOOD DAY
HOW ARE YOU HOPE FINE, LIKE I TOLD YOU ON THE PHONE (which of course he hadn't) AM FIVE STAR GENERAL LUCKY ADDO FROM* *CHICAGO HERE IN O HARE INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT IN USA.
I WAS MANDATED TO MAKE THE DELIVERY OF YOUR 3 TRUNK BOXES TO YOUR
RESIDENT ADDRESS BELOW ARE THE DETAILS THAT WILL BE REQUIRE FROM YOU FOR THE DELIVERY TO YOUR RESIDENT ADDRESS WHICH ARE.
RESIDENT ADDRESS:
DIRECT PHONE NUMBER:
PASS PORT ID OR NUMBER:
ONCE I RECEIVE YOUR URGENT RESPONSE WITH YOUR DELIVERY DETAILS I WILL
MOVE STRAIGHT TO THE DETAILS OF WHICH YOU HAVE PROVIDED TO ME. ONE THING I WILL TELL YOU I AM A GOOD MAN AND I WILL NOT DO ANY THING TO BRING ME DOWN BECAUSE GOD IN HEAVEN KNOW I AM TELLING THE GOSPEL TRUTH ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS TO PUT YOUR TRUST ON ME.
ONCE I RECEIVE YOUR DELIVERY DETAILS I WILL GIVE YOU A CALL AND FOLLOW UP WITH THE DETAILS OF YOUR DELIVERY ADDRESS AS I HAVE MANDATED TO MAKE YOUR DELIVERY TO YOU BECAUSE ITS BY THE RULE OF LAW FOR YOU TO RECEIVE WHAT RIGHTFUL BELONGS TO YOU.
I WAIT TO RECEIVE YOUR URGENT RESPONSE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE WITH ALL DUE
RESPECT THANKS
AND STAY BLESS.
REGARDS,
FIVE STAR GENERAL LUCKY ADDO
GHANA RIMING LINE +233243-030-160

General Addo,
Why the hell can't you people keep the consignment in one place? First it's JFK, then it's Batten, now it's O'Hare. I just hope that it won't move again!
General Kabila and Jolly Kamys have my details - ask them.
Malcolm Reynolds

"If at first you don't succeed, repeat" is one of this Lad's mottos.

KOTOKA INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT OF GHANA PRESENTLY IN * DELIVERY SERVICE FROM CHICAGO HERE IN O HARE INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT*
GOOD DAY
HOW ARE YOU HOPE FINE, LIKE I TOLD YOU ON THE PHONE AM FIVE STAR GENERAL LUCKY ADDO FROM* *CHICAGO HERE IN O HARE INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT IN USA.
I WAS MANDATED TO MAKE THE DELIVERY OF YOUR 3 TRUNK BOXES TO YOUR
RESIDENT ADDRESS BELOW ARE THE DETAILS THAT WILL BE REQUIRE FROM YOU FOR THE DELIVERY TO YOUR RESIDENT ADDRESS WHICH ARE.
RESIDENT ADDRESS:
DIRECT PHONE NUMBER:
PASS PORT ID OR NUMBER:
ONCE I RECEIVE YOUR URGENT RESPONSE WITH YOUR DELIVERY DETAILS I WILL MOVE STRAIGHT TO THE DETAILS OF WHICH YOU HAVE PROVIDED TO ME. ONE THING I WILL TELL YOU I AM A GOOD MAN AND I WILL NOT DO ANY THING TO BRING ME DOWN BECAUSE GOD IN HEAVEN KNOW I AM TELLING THE GOSPEL TRUTH ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS TO PUT YOUR TRUST ON ME.
ONCE I RECEIVE YOUR DELIVERY DETAILS I WILL GIVE YOU A CALL AND FOLLOW UP WITH THE DETAILS OF YOUR DELIVERY ADDRESS AS I HAVE MANDATED TO MAKE YOUR DELIVERY TO YOU BECAUSE ITS BY THE RULE OF LAW FOR YOU TO RECEIVE WHAT RIGHTFUL BELONGS TO YOU.
I WAIT TO RECEIVE YOUR URGENT RESPONSE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE WITH ALL DUE
RESPECT THANKS
AND STAY BLESS.
REGARDS,
FIVE STAR GENERAL LUCKY ADDO
GHANA RIMING LINE +233243-030-160

General Addo,
I suggest that you contact your colleague General Kabila, as I said. You people have to coordinate better.
Malcolm Reynolds

Here's another general - he ain't a five star, but he's in the thick of the action (bolded).

Subject: Good Day,Honorable Beneficiary To recovered Box
FROM THE DESK OF THE CHAIRMAN,
DE CONGESTION COMMITTEE SEAPORTS & AIRPORT
GHANA MARITIME AND OVATION UNIT,
PRESIDENTIAL CASTLE,
HIGH STREET,
ACCRA – GHANA .
Dear
Good Day,Honorable Beneficiary To recovered Box
How are you and your family, I guest that all is not too bad with you over there? i hope so. We the Interpol Protective Committee has been assigned all over West Africa to help all Foreign Beneficiaries in getting back all their stolen and stocked Consignments back from those CROOKS and HUDLUMS that called them selves Diplomats and we've been able to retrieved and delivered over 42 boxes for the past 6 months. I am General Ozugbo Kamali, the Interpol Prospective Director who's incharge of all retrieved Consignments boxes here in accra ghana.
Two (2) young men were arrested at the Afloa Border and one shot dead while there boss DR DAVID WILLIAMS from Nigeria impersonating as INTERNATIONAL MONETARY FUND AGENCY INTERNATIONAL OPERATION DEPT GARIKI KAMOSO ABUJA-NIGERIA.ESCAPED ITH GUN WOUND and orthers who confessed that they were on there way trying to escape to Nigeria the headquarters of all scamper in the world when they were apprehended by the police at the togo/ghana Afloa border with 3 consignment boxes containing united state spendable currency,after counting this money, and total amounts to US$20,000,000 million (Twinty Million United State Dollars) in the consignment box recovered from this bandits ,attached to this 1 box is your name and email address
This is an urgent mandatory message from the PRESIDENT OF REP OF GHANA , despites we've been investigating on those HUDLUMS and CROOKS that call themselves Diplomats, Chief Justice, Ministers, Lotto,Bankers, Ambassadors ETC , that has been stealing money in one way or the other from Foreign Beneficiaries like you. With our investigation so far on those Offices, we later realized that those offices has been used to impersonate the rightful Offices here to scam Foreign Beneficiaries like you, says by the Federal High Court Of Justice. But never the less, we are still going on with our investigation to make sure justice is prevail.
During our office time weeks ago, we received a call from the Office of the President that we should appear in his Office tomorrow for proper issues concerning the same issues on your topic that some group of ministers are trying to re-pull down the plan that the PRESIDENT have for Foreign Beneficiaries like you. Here in our custody, we have 12 Consignment boxes in our custody and among the 12boxes, your name and,contact were found on 3 boxes among the 12 boxes my boys retrieved from those CROOKS and HUDLUMS.
Our Government here is trying to figure out on how all Foreign Beneficiaries funds can be deliver to then through Diplomatic means and we've successfully deliver almost all that were retrieved for the past few weeks. I'll get back to you with some information as time goes on for you to be aware of what's going on about the investigation of your Consignment boxes and how we can get them deliver to your door step without no delay nor distraction from the Customs Authority there in your country Airport.
We've done the Interim Scanning of your boxes and discovered that it's contented with a total sum amount of US$20,o00,000 million (Twinty Million United State Dollars). I will be waiting for your delivery details, including a copy of your International Passport or your Drivers License for me to identify you
I will be expecting your immediate respond if you are really serious and in a good position to receive your recovered funds that is here under mu custody in Ghana to enable Ghana redeem her good name as instructed by the president to deliver to you through diplomatic mean in home address .
Call me for immediate update as soon as you recieve my mail
Regards,
Interpol Protective Director
Private Official Cell Number
General Ozugbo Kamali
+233272834859

He gets the brushoff.

General Kamali,
I was told by Genera Kabila that the money was in two boxes, $22 million all told, and it's in the US, so I'm not sure what's going on here.
Malcolm Reynolds

No idea where this one came from.

Sir,
We write to inform you that the stationed diplomat delivering your consignment has arrive NEW YORK today to proceed new jersey, but encountering problem with customs
please your African union certificte of immunity need to be renewed to enable him clear customs in JFK airport.
Although we need to renew your certificate of immunity within 24hrs to enable the diplomat bye pass customs and proceed to your region.
The renewal fee of your immunity certificate is 150 dollars.
we expect you to send this fee to below cashier name
Ms ROSEMARY SAM
ACCRA GHANA
Finally you can contact the diplomat in airport now to confirm his update on 001 716 371 8957
Regard
Mr Richard Graham

Mr Graham,
I have just been informed that the consignment (and the diplomat) are in Chicago. What's going on?
Malcolm Reynolds

11 October 2010

FROM THE DESK OF THE CHAIRMAN,
DE CONGESTION COMMITTEE SEAPORTS & AIRPORT
GHANA MARITIME AND OVATION UNIT,
PRESIDENTIAL CASTLE,
HIGH STREET,
ACCRA – GHANA .
Attention :Malcolm Reynolds
Greetings
Thank you so much for mail in regarding your the box of consignment that were recovered in your name by the Ghana police force team and because of the petitions coming to Ghana that Ghana are not capable of making delivery and because of the too many scam taking place.
What is there you need to fill the release order with the fee along with it ton enable the box release for the delivery.
Receiver name:Efe Lopez
Amount :$1,850 Dollars
Country :Accra Ghana
WAITING YOUR URGENT RESPONSE,
GENERAL OZUGBO KAMALI
+233272834859

General Kamali,
You have to contact General Kabila and put an end to the confusion. You people need to coordinate better.
Malcolm Reynolds

For an explanation of what Mal was talking about; https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Death_of_Azaria_Chamberlain

Chat with Jolly Kamys
Lad: hello
Mr Reynolds ,please are you there
Mal: Yes.
Lad: i was totally at the airport yesterday,
Mal: I'll take your word for it.
Lad: so how is the family and business
Mal: I have no actual family. My daughter, from a teenage liaison, lives in Los Angeles. Her mother lives in Chicago.
Mal: Work is fine, as far as it goes. And a lot of people were talking about the upcoming Azaria Chamberlain inquest. Would you believe that some people still think Lindy did it?
Lad: do you mean the baby girl who disappeared 1980
Mal: Yes. It's still a talking point.
Lad: the babay may have grown,because she was ten week old when they took him away
Mal: What?
Mal: She's dead. Eaten by a dingo.
Lad: is she dead now
Mal: She was dead in 1980! Eaten by a dingo!
Lad: my God,so why is linder is been blame for the murder of the girl
Mal: It's a long story. Parochial prejudice and flawed science and an asshole of a prosecutor.
That's it in a nutshell.
Lad: so whom is the australian government is passing their blame on, is it Linder or Michael,
Mal: Not the Australian Government - they don't decide that sort of thing. Neither was it the Northern Territory government. It was mainly the NT police.
Lad: but michael was convicted as an accessory after the fact and given a suspended sentence.
Mal: So what's your point? It was a bum rap.
Lad: Azaria's mother, Lindy Chamberlain, was tried for murder,she was convicted of murder on 29 October 1982 and sentenced to life imprisonmen,,so what is the australian government doing about his stay in prison
Mal: She was released years ago when her conviction was quashed! Holy shit on a shingle - what are you reading that from?
Lad: it was a long time ago,
Mal: I bet you Wikipedia is up to date.
Lad: i never knew she has been released
Mal: Well, now you do. You also know that the dingo did it.
Lad: yes i know the dingo did it
Mal: Well that's a relief. OK - pop quiz - what's a dingo?
Lad: i thing a dingo is an acient dog
Mal: A what dog?
Lad: is a dingo not a dog
Mal: Yes, but I don't know what "acient" means.
Lad: i said its acient,because there was a time,when dogs are reltively undonmesticated
Mal: It's a type of wild dog. That's all.
Lad: yes you are correct
Mal: So what was that boondoggle about undomestication?
Lad: you have said these already,when i say undomestic it mean ,,dingo it a kind of wide dog
Mal: Fine. I just didn't expect a history lesson.
Lad: okay
Mr Reynolds, so what day are going to ttravel to make the payment
Mal: Right... that raises an interesting point.
Lad: like as i have told you before every aspect of the clearance to your two consignment boxes are done with
Mal: So why is it that most if not all of the Ghanaian general staff are claiming ownership of this deal?
Lad: Mr Reynolds , i would loike to say you sould forget about them, because non of them can do any thing in respect of the clearance to your two consignment boxes,how an a general automaticaly becomes a diplomat,
Mal: This whole gorram procedure has me baffled.
Lad: I can also assure you that these persons are inpersonating in order to theif your consignment boxes,but i so much thank God that they didnt suceeded on their plans to steal the boxes
Mal: So how do they know about them? How do they know to contact me?
Lad: Mr Reynolds,you cannot trust any one working at thee airport this days,i beleived these airport workers also link the secrete out side,and they also will bring in some one to impersonate on behalf of a diplomat,
Mal: So what good does it do for them to make demands for petty cash?
Lad: But i can assure you that the united nations diplomatic commission has make sure the two consignment boxes are secured,by the Batten airport authority,
And the airport has also assured me yesterday, that the two boxes are safe ,awaiting for them to be cleared from the irport,
Mal: You said that they had been cleared.
Lad: i mean all documents has been cleared and recorded,but what we needed mostly now to finalize the clarance is the united nations delivery permit,that is why we needed the $1000usd for the procurement of the permit
Mal: Ah, yes, that...
Lad: so if these permit can be presented to the Batten airport authority , i assure you that i will immediately depart from the airport and meet with you,without any delay
Mal: Ah yes, that...
Mal: General Kamali, $1850. General Addo, $1500.
Lad: did you send these morning to him
Mal: General Kabila, $350. Mr Graham, $1200. General Mbe, $3000.
Lad: Here is the reasons why the united nations diplomatic commission has appointed me to clear the two consignment boxes and delivered them to you,because all that you are transacting in regards of the clearance to your two consignment boxes has been noticed by the united nations delivery commission also,
Mal: Hold on, I'm still collating.
Mal: Jeffrey Morrison, $2200. I think that's it.
Lad: were are they from
Mal: Ghana.
Lad: are you sure
Mal: Messrs Morrison and Graham and General Mbe are in the US. It's what they said.
Lad: it means the united nations aare saying the truth,because the un submitt we went, they really brought up an issue about a payment that has been severaly made because of those two consignment boxes,
Mal: What?
Lad: Mr Reynolds ,i want you to permit me to fitch all these crooks out to face the law,or what did you think
Mal: What are you talking about? Are you claiming to be with Interpol or something?
Lad: no, i will send all informations about these persons to Ghana for verification
so i want you to send every informations about them to me as soon as posible
I will be calling the police head quarters in Ghana,to inform them about these name who bear general
Lad: are you there
Mal: Yes.
Lad: Mr Reynolds,what day are you planing to travel for the payment
Mal: Well, that's the thing, isn't it? You and all the others have a thing for demanding payment by meand other than wire transfer.
Lad: i can'nt get you right please come again
Mal: They all wanted payment by Western Union. You demanded Moneygram, but it comes to the same thing int he end.
Lad: Mr Reynolds, i am giving you my words of honor that, i was appointed by the united nations diplomatic commission regards these delivery,
Mal: Right...
Lad: I am here for the two consignment boxes,i will also want to meet with you face to face,
Mal: So maybe I should come to you.
Lad: do you love to ome to US
Mal: I am an American!
Lad: i will highly appreciate that ideal
but you base on australia
Mal: So? You do know about these things called aeroplanes, right?
Lad: yes, so what about it
Mal: So I can come to America.
Lad: will you like to meet me at the airport
Mal: Suits me.
Lad: okay
Mal: I'd have to stage through a major airport. I doubt if any flights from here go direct to Batten.
Lad: am not sure
Mal: Wait.
Lad: the reason why the batten airport was used for the security of the two consignment, was that its more safe for consignment of these type
Mal: United doesn't fly to Batten.
Lad: am not sure
Mal: Neither does Qantas. I'll have to do some research.
Mal: What airlines fly into Batten?
Lad: Emirates can fly there
Mal: I forgot about them!
Lad: you really did
so when are you living to arrive USA
Mal: I'll let you know.
Lad: Okay
ar you going to get the money sent first before coming to US
Mal: What's the point?
Lad: so definately you will arrive US before you will have the money sent
Mal: Of course. I can put the money into your hands to pay the guy at O'Hare.
Lad: no you will have the money send your self, to ohare,before you can come to the airport,because as soon as the delivery permit is done,they are going to post the copy of the permit to the airport authoority for verification,
so i will want you to get the money sent before we both see each other,
Mal: No, because this way I know this is a kosher deal.
Lad: mr reynolds,it has to be done so,
Mal: Then you're just like all the others. That;s pretty much what they were saying.
Lad: whom did you say am look alike
Mr Reynolds why are you embarrising me
Mal: They were all insisting on payment not using banks before anything could be done.
Lad: Listen Mr Reynolds, i have told you that i was appointed by the united nations diplomatic commission regarding these delivery,so why must you be afraid of paying the money to get the delivery permit done
Mal: Have you ever heard of the old saying about if it looks like a duck, swims like a duck and quacks like a duck, then it is a duck?
Lad: you sound very funny
Mr Reynolds, i am with you, in all ways to make sure that i make these delivery to you.
Mal: It's a poetic way of saying that if you can't tell the true from the false, perhaps they're all false.
Lad: so you mean now that am not telling you the truth
Mal: It had occurred to me.
Lad: still funny,
Mal: Not for you.
Lad: ,i will like to give you my words of honor again,that you should go and make the payment ,now because ,i have waited too long at th airport,remember that it was the united nations commission that are paying for my hotel bills
and as you may know these hotel thatam staying has limit
Mal: They've got plenty of money. And no hotel will ditch a paying customer.
Lad: listen very well,they are doing all these because ,in return you will pay back all bills paid in respect of the clearance of your consignment boxes
Mal: No way.
Lad: why not
Mal: The UN doesn't need to charge me for your accommodation.
Lad: remember, that since i have been appointed for the delivery,it was the united nations diplomatic commission ,that has been making all payment ,in order to have the two boxes secured
Mal: As they should. I'm an ambassador, not a gorram cash cow (except with my taxes).
Lad: okay,that is your officer,i am just informing you because they will always come for the bills which they have made in respect of the security to your two consignment,
Lad: let these be on your mind, that after the delivery of the boxes to you,there will be a return of payment to the united nations commission
Lad: are you there

12 October 2010

Hello i have asked Mr. Barkev to get back to you and he is doing fast.
General Mbe.

General Mbe,
Please tell him to move faster.
Malcolm Reynolds

Dear Sir,
I wish to inform you as a citizen of the united state who is part of the monitoring team in the west Africa to stop any communication with those people you are working with they are all scammers, the money was sent to JFk airport in the united state but when we find out that the money was not having the real papers to arrive to the united state we sent it back to Africa in Ghana.
You have to contact General Mbe to assist you in preparing the real and valid papers that will empower the consignment to the united state without any problem, if not those idiots will put you in a very big mess in the united state you know what I am saying how the eyes of US government are open into money laundry.
Attached is copy of my passport.
Be fast about it so that you won’t say had I know.
Mr. Hagopian Barkev

There was no passport attached.

Mr Barkev,
You should not have taken that money to Ghana as it was supposed to be in the care of the UN! Do you want to start a gorram turf war? Please contact Mr Kamys at once at the address given here; [email protected].
Malcolm Reynolds

I wait to hear from him as i have contacted him.
Barkev

FROM THE DESK OF THE CHAIRMAN,
DE CONGESTION COMMITTEE SEAPORTS & AIRPORT
GHANA MARITIME AND OVATION UNIT,
PRESIDENTIAL CASTLE,
HIGH STREET,
ACCRA – GHANA .
Attention :Malcolm Reynolds
Greetings
I am not going to contact anybody in respect of the fund that will just recovered if you know that you can come dawn to Ghana to come and sign for notarization and pay the fee i will handle over the box to you if not you need to send the fee and will deliver to you without delay.
Receiver name:Efe Lopez
Amount :$1,850 Dollars
Country :Accra Ghana
WAITING YOUR URGENT RESPONSE,
GENERAL OZUGBO KAMALI
+233272834859

General Kamali,
Your attitude has been noted. In the meantime I have directed your insubordinate response to General Kabila and await his comments.
Malcolm Reynolds

Chat with Jolly Kamys
Lad: Please dont allow any to tell you ,that he is bringing your consignments to Australia
Lad: we just got a message from a right source that, some is about to involve you in an illegal transaction regarding the delivery of boxes
Mal: Talk to me.
Lad: alright,i was a bit busy
Mal: Barkev is online, and I'm confused.
Lad: why was the confuse,
Mal: Getting answers from him is like pulling teeth.
Lad: i cannot get you right,
Mal: Where did you learn English? Simple slang seems way beyond you.
Lad: here in USA
and why did you ask
Mal: You should have paid attention. Watched some TV. Talked to the locals wherever.
Lad: i think no one is perfect,
Mal: That is one excuse I have never accepted. No one expects perfection. But you should give things your best.
Lad: so you must be my teacher then
Mal: Not my job.
Lad: okay i will have to go back to school
Mal: Then UN took you on - you are their responsibility.
Mal: And school my ass - just get out and talk to people. Listen to the real America.
Lad: so why are saying all this words
Mal: Oh - never mind. They're wasted.
Lad: Mr Reynolds when are we going to have the delivery permit done
Mal: Once I actually know exactly what the hell is going on, where, and how.
Mal: Barkev's vanished. It's not like I asked for much.

13 October 2010

Someday I'll work out how many Generals the Ghana Defence Force has in Lad-land. Oh, and something in that first sentence (bolded) doesn't seem right...

Subject: GET BACK TO ME IMMEDIATELY.
I AM GENERAL GEORGE TETTEH HEAD OF MILITARY INTELLIGENCE, KOTOKA INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT . MY MEN INTERCEPTED YOUR CONSIGNMENT IN ONE OF THEIR ROUTINE CHECKS. WHEN THEY SOUGHT TO KNOW WHILE THE CONSIGNMENT ARE NOT PASSING THE APPROPRIATE QUARTER, IT WAS ABANDON BY THE HANDLERS.
I GOT TO KNOW THAT, THE CONSIGNMENT WAS INTENDED TO BE DIVERTED, HENCE MY MEN CONFISCATED IT. I CAME ACROSS YOUR FULL NAME AND ADDRESS AS WELL AS YOUR EMAIL, WHICH IS WHY I AM CONTACTING YOU. AS I WRITE TO YOU NOW, THE CONSIGNMENT HAS BEEN MOVED TO OUR SERVICE CENTER IN EUROPE . PLEASE VERIFY YOUR NAME AND ADDRESS AS STATED ON THE CONSIGNMENT:
I DID THIS BECAUSE OF THE STRINGENT MEASURES PUT IN PLACED BY THE NEW GOVERNMENT FOR THE RECOVERY OF SUCH CONSIGNMENT.IF I GET YOUR RESPONSE, I WILL GIVE YOU THE CONTACT DETAILS OF THE PERSON IN CHARGE IN EUROPE.
AWAITING YOUR RESPONSE.
SINCERELY,
GEN. GEORGE TETTEH.

General Tetteh,
I'm confused - I had been told that the shipment was at JFK airport in the US. Please explain what's going on.
Malcolm Reynolds

FROM THE DESK OF THE CHAIRMAN,
DE CONGESTION COMMITTEE SEAPORTS & AIRPORT
GHANA MARITIME AND OVATION UNIT,
PRESIDENTIAL CASTLE,
HIGH STREET,
ACCRA – GHANA .
Attention :Malcolm Reynolds
Greetings
You surprise me alot box that will recovered by my team i should give to somebody i have not meet before if you want to receive the box you should for my instrusion so that i can delivr your box to you.
WAITING YOUR URGENT RESPONSE,
GENERAL OZUGBO KAMALI
+233272834859

General Kamali,
Stop arguing and contact General Kabila. I want this resolved at once.
Malcolm Reynolds

14 October 2010

Attn,Reynolds.
Its long time now i was not around because getting all documentation in place before the date of the clearance comes,
The airport authority demanded for the certificate of Origin in regards to your two consignment boxes ,i have been running around to make sure i got it done before it will be too late,
But i have succeeded in getting the certificate today,
Please i want you to get back to me when and how you are going to get the money send in order for me to procure the united nations delivery permit,
Please here is the receiver name again,,,,LAMAR BOYD,address to Chicago Ohare for the procurement to take place,
Regards,
Diplomat,Jolly Kamys

Hello Mr Malcolm Reynolds
What is happening?cause i dont unterstand what is going on i told you to contact my diplomat for him to deliver your boxes to you and you are tell me about Kamys what has he get to do with my committee,i think i really need to talk to you, send me your phone number so that i can contact you cause you are getting issues complicated.
Get back to me with your phone number so that i can instruct you on how to receive your boxes cause you are delaying my diplomat and is not good for this committee cause we have alot of delivery to make .
Regards,
Gen Dominic Kabila.

General Kabila,
He's a UN diplomat who's supposed to be handling the shipment. That's simple enough.
Malcolm Reynolds

Sir have you been able to hear from Mr. Berkev?
General Mbe.

Dear Malcolm Reynolds,
You have to try and send the 3000 Ghana Cedis so that we can be able release your consignment/money to you.
I wrote Mr. Kamys yesterday and still wating for his response, but meanwhile you have to try so that the money will be released quickly.
Yours in Service,
Hagopian Barkev.

Attn.
I am General Dudu Kwame From the United Nation Delivering forum Unit am Contacting you in Regard of your pended two trunks boxes of Consignment which the Refuge son have Deposited on you Name for long time and he Have Been Approve to be Delivery to you In your Country with the United Nation Diplomatic Get.
Dou to the Meeting we Have With the United Nation we have no time the Only thing for you to receive this boxes you will pay all the Charges as soon as the Boxes Arrive in your Country all we need is for you to Obtain the Government Tag to Tag the Boxes so we can know the Delivering
Address of the Boxes and the Owner of the Boxes so you have to fill the Form and Expect your Consignment as soon as you pay the Government tag because we have Meany Boxes to be Delivery ok get back to us in time you forward your private number to me very urgent and let Mrs Harlan Brown bet back to me in time in time ok.
Thank From
General Dudu K Kwesi
From the Kotoka International Air Port With the United Nation Delivering forum Unit
The Valou of your Boxes is $ 28.3 Million Usd

He also attached a "Presidential Form" that's too dull to worry about.

General Kwame,
I don't understand your reference to a refugee son. The shipment is for UN charity purposes and I'm the custodian of the funds.
Malcolm Reynolds

Attn,Reynolds,
Its my pleasure to inform you about some one, whom you asked to contact me "in respect of two consignment boxes ,the two consignment contains funds,
I will like to ask if you know any general GOOMAN from Ghana,Please Mr Reynolds if you know that general then get back to me immediately,because he has contacted me regarding two consignment boxes that are containing only funds,
I am waiting for you to confirm him to me as soon as i hear from you on mail,then i will ask him for all scan copy of the consignment boxes,
I really appreciate the ideal on how you asked him to contact me in order for me to verify him if the said boxes is a true matter,
Mr Reynolds, I want to inform you some thing about these general,I wanted to advise that the two boxes that are with general Goodman should be added to the one which i am about to deliver to you making the total consignment boxes 4 in number,I think this way of the delivery will safe cost and more easier for you and me,
All i want to ask him to deliver the two boxes to at the Batten airport so that the four boxes can stay in one area ,this act will also enhance the clearance of the boxes the same time,
I will be waiting to receive your reply,
Regards,
Diplomat,Jolly Kamys

Next up; Jolly's desperation continues to rise as new players appear.

Posted: Tue Sep 03, 2019 7:48 am

It seems General Kamali doesn't like Mal's attitude:

15 October 2010

FROM THE DESK OF THE CHAIRMAN,
DE CONGESTION COMMITTEE SEAPORTS & AIRPORT
GHANA MARITIME AND OVATION UNIT,
PRESIDENTIAL CASTLE,
HIGH STREET,
ACCRA – GHANA .
Attention :Malcolm Reynolds
Greetings
I am not contacting anybbody in respect of this recovered by my boys to make delivery to you what ever you want me to deliver to you.
WAITING YOUR URGENT RESPONSE,
GENERAL OZUGBO KAMALI
+233272834859

General Kamali,
Be serious about this or you'll be punished.
Malcolm Reynolds

The "events in Copiapo" reference was to the trapped Chilean miners. Jolly didn't care about them.

Chat with Jolly Kamys
Lad: hello
Mal: Yes?
Mal: What do you think of the events in Copiapo?
Lad: Okay,I have just speak with general Mbe
Mal: O RLY?
Lad: he also agreed on the conditions as far as you can be able to receive the consignment boxes
Mal: What conditions?
Mal: Hello?
Mal: Well?
Lad: am here i thought you have gone to bed
Mal: You just vanished!
Lad: i was waiting for you to come up ,but all i saw was silent
Mal: I was waiting for you but you hadn't typed anything.
Lad: okay,
Lad: like i have said before,the general is going to pay for the handling charges to deliver the two consignment boxes to me here in batten airport
Mal: What's in the other two boxes and where are they from?
Lad: according to what he wrote me, he was saying that the two consignment boxes was sopposed to delivered to you,as the reciever ,
Mal: Do you know anything about them?
Lad: in regards to the scan copy of the two consignment boxes that he has sent to me ,he was saying that the boxes was sopposed to deliver to you,i never knew any thing apart from that,
Mal: You didn't ask?
Lad: remember i told you that i dont know if you have different boxes some were els,only what i knew about is the two boxes which the united nations diplomatic commission has appointed me to deliver to you in respect of the refugee,
Mal: Then why the Sam Frick haven't you found out.
Lad: i did ask him ,about the source of the boxes and he replied to me that the boxes was retreived,i will go back to my mail which he sent me to copy and paste,so that you know exack what he is saying,
Lad: this is the reason i am about to come up with the formal mail which he wrote to me,
Lad: The general said his name is General Goodman K. Mbe that the consignments containing big amount of money was discovered and we found out that it belongs to you ,,he said that you should kindly provide your identity for cliam before it will be sent to the government of Ghana or to the Ecowas. and the Attached scan copy of the consignments boxes.this is what he told me,but i am still making an investigation regarding the fact about General Mbe,to know exaclkt truth in him,
Mal: I thought that something had gone wrong with your shipment, but now it looks like it hasn't... I think.
Lad: Mr Reynolds, i think these will be a better position to receive the two consignment,because he has agreed to pay for the handling charges,
Mal: What do you mean "these"?
Lad: i mean the boxes,
Mal: But who is receiving them?
Lad: i also mean that as far as he is ready to pay for the handling charges ,he can go ahead to make the delivery to me here in batten airport,i will receive the boxes before we try and find a way to finalize the clearance to the four consignment boxes,
Mal: But do you know the origin of these boxes?
Lad: there will be no problem anout the origin of the boxes,he will be in a better position to get that done,
Mal: Don't you CARE???
Lad: all i needed from you is just the trust from you as the receiver of the consignments,
Mal: Trust? I don't know what I'm accepting!
Lad: i am %100 care about that,i knew that with out the certificate of origin i cannot depart from the airport with boxes,so am not afraid of that its going to be done when it comes to that time
Lad: Mr Reynolds just trust me,i know what is about to be delivered to you,i got the content already,and dont forget that i am a united nations appointed diplomat,and was appointed specially just becasue of twelve different consignment boxes,your own is the fifth to be delivered,
Mal: We'll see. I'm off now and you can brief me later.
Lad: okay,,,i will really appreciate you effort in enhancing the united nations delivery permit,which is needed for me to clear the four boxes for delivery,

16 October 2010

Dear Malcolm
Thank you for your mail i thing you did not Understand the two trunk boxes of consignment have been deposited in your name in the Unite Nation Delivering forum Unit and now the Minister of finance have past all the Order that all the consignment have to delivery to the Owner that is why am contacting because am in charge of the delivering.
so by brother you may do to fill the delivering form and send it back to us before Monday to enable us move ahead with the delivering of your two trunk boxes to you in your country and due to the meeting hold with the UN that you will pay the delivering charges as soon as the Diplomat arrive in your Country you will pay all the charges but you will obtain the government tag to tag the consignment so the diplomat can no the address to delivery the boxes because that are many boxes to be delivery all over the world so there will be no more problem in the process of the delivering and without the government tag you can not receive the two boxes before nest week ok
Thank From
Genera Dudu K Kwesi
From the Kotoka International Air Port With the United Nation Delivering forum Unit
The Valou of your Boxes is $ 28.3 Million Usd
00233 271029457

General Kwame,
I can only see what's happened as a bureaucratic snafu by the UN. There's been a consignment delivered to the US, and another in Ghana, so yours must be down to double counting by whoever's in charge of this.
Further - the form you sent committed me to abiding by the terms and conditions of the delivery. I don't know what they are.
Malcolm Reynolds

17 October 2010

Dear Malcolm
Thank you for your mail well your consignment will be delivery to you in your Country Australia and as soon as the Diplomat arrive there will call so please candle fill the form and send it back to our office in time because we have no time if you want to receive your trunks boxes of consignment ok fill the form and send it back to us with your passport so we can tell you what to do ok
Thank From
Genera Dudu K Kwesi
From the Kotoka International Air Port With the United Nation Delivering forum Unit
The Valou of your Boxes is $ 28.3 Million Usd
00233 271029457

General Kwame,
You sent me the same form twice on three separate occasions, and I'm telling you (again) that I will not sign the form without a clear explanation of the terms and conditions I'm supposed to abide by.
Malcolm Reynolds

FROM THE DESK OF THE CHAIRMAN,
DE CONGESTION COMMITTEE SEAPORTS & AIRPORT
GHANA MARITIME AND OVATION UNIT,
PRESIDENTIAL CASTLE,
HIGH STREET,
ACCRA – GHANA .
Attention :Malcolm Reynolds
Greetings
I don't know what you mean by if i did not serous i will be punish ? when i am telling the truth is like every truth is bitter if you want to receive your fund i have told you what to do enable you receive your box
WAITING YOUR URGENT RESPONSE,
GENERAL OZUGBO KAMALI
+233272834859

General Kamali.
Don't say I didn't warn you.
Malcolm Reynolds

18 October 2010

Kabila's message was in dark blue text on a dark grey background, which made it impossible to read.

Hello Mr Malcolm Reynolds....I don't know what you mean in your mail,but to my own understanding and if you are asking if the diplomat is a UN diplomat?yes he is cause he was the one assign to the committee to do all delivery.
I will ask again for you to send me your mobile phone number so that i can contact you cause if the diplomat come back to Africa,sorry you will have to come to Africa alone to receive your boxes cause i think you are complicating issues.
Waiting reply so that the diplomat can deliver to you as the motto of this committee.
Regards,
Gen Dominic Kabila.

General Kabila,
I can't read that email.
Malcolm Reynolds

Hello Mr Malcolm Reynolds
I don't know what you mean in your mail,but to my own understanding and if you are asking if the diplomat is a UN diplomat?yes he is cause he was the one assign to the committee to do all delivery.
I will ask again for you to send me your mobile phone number so that i can contact you cause if the diplomat come back to Africa,sorry you will have to come to Africa alone to receive your boxes cause i think you are complicating issues.
Waiting reply so that the diplomat can deliver to you as the motto of this committee.
Regards,
Gen Dominic Kabila.

General Kabila,
The UN diplomat organizing this (apparently) is Jolly Kamys - he's a landsman of yours. Contact him on [email protected].
Malcolm Reynolds

Dear Malcolm Reynolds,
Be duly informed that there is nothing like that and that person calling you is just wasting your time by giving you unnecessary conditions which i believed you MUST have been sending him money to get one document or the other. I am a Military Intelligence Officers and I know what is going here and over there, please stop further communication with him. I MUST be frank with you. Get back to me soonest.
Regards,
Gen.George.

General Tetteh,
I've had confirmation from the UN that the consignment is at JFK. I do not know what you've got. Please check with your colleague General Kabila.
Malcolm Reynolds

FROM THE DESK OF THE CHAIRMAN,
DE CONGESTION COMMITTEE SEAPORTS & AIRPORT
GHANA MARITIME AND OVATION UNIT,
PRESIDENTIAL CASTLE,
HIGH STREET,
ACCRA – GHANA .
Greetings,
Thank you so much for your mail,since you said to me that you do not say so there is no problem about it i want to know on when are you going to start up with the process of the release of your recovered fund.
WAITING YOUR URGENT RESPONSE,
GENERAL OZUGBO KAMALI
+233272834859

General Kamali,
What do you think "Don't say I didn't warn you" actually means?
Malcolm Reynolds

19 October 2010

Dear Mr. Malcolm Reynolds
Thank you for your mail and your Understanding. Yes but the form I send to you is from the United Nation Delivering forum unit as soon as you fill it our forward it to the office of the delivering to enable them make the delivering to you in your country.
And for more information what will need is the government tag to tag the consignment this is the only charges you will pay because without the government tag you can not receive the two trunks boxes of the consignment in your country Australia because there are many consignment to be delivery to many country and after the $ 400 usd to tag the consignment everything is over and this is the only money you will pay and after that
You will pay all the delivering charges as soon as the consignment arrive in your country Australia the diplomat will call you and you will meet them in the Air Port to receive your consignment ok
And this is the only chance to receive this two consignment boxes in your country and some document will be send to you as soon as you obtain the government tag and the document that will protect the consignment to your country will be send to you from the United Nation and also from the High Court of justice ok
Thank From
Genera Dudu K Kwesi
From the Kotoka International Air Port With the United Nation Delivering forum Unit
The Valou of your Boxes is $ 28.3 Million Usd

General Kwame,
You still haven't said what the gorram terms and conditions are! Until you do, I ain't filling out that form. Do you understand me now?
Malcolm Reynolds

FROM THE DESK OF THE CHAIRMAN,
DE CONGESTION COMMITTEE SEAPORTS & AIRPORT
GHANA MARITIME AND OVATION UNIT,
PRESIDENTIAL CASTLE,
HIGH STREET,
ACCRA – GHANA .
Greetings,
What is happening you suppose to be sending the fee to enable the release of your box get to you that is what you should let me know by now.
WAITING YOUR URGENT RESPONSE,
GENERAL OZUGBO KAMALI
+233272834859

General Kamali,
This is out of your gorram hands - just deal with it.
Malcolm Reynolds

FROM THE DESK OF THE CHAIRMAN,
DE CONGESTION COMMITTEE SEAPORTS & AIRPORT
GHANA MARITIME AND OVATION UNIT,
PRESIDENTIAL CASTLE,
HIGH STREET,
ACCRA – GHANA .
Attention :Malcolm Reynolds
Greetings,
Thank you so much for mail,i don't what do you mean by this word are you interested to receive this box or not ?
WAITING YOUR URGENT RESPONSE,
GENERAL OZUGBO KAMALI
+233272834859

General Kamali,
What word don't you understand?
Malcolm Reynolds

20 October 2010

Dear Malcolm Reynolds,
I have told you. If you want to purse nothing in JFK continue, at the end of the day you will end up paying for unnecessary documents and you will never see anyone. Be Wise and prudent. Your consignment is in our Custody in Europe. It is those same people that were trying to steal it and they are making you believed that it is still with them. Be warned. don't say I did not warned you. If you contiune with them you will not see anything. Stop now. Okay tell them you want to meet with them in JFK and see the excuse he will give you. Just try it and get back to me.
Regards,
Gen.George

General Tetteh,
I don't want to meet the diplomats at JFK as I'm nowhere near there. Also, I don't understand why you're being like this. Please confer with General Kabila, as I said.
Malcolm Reynolds

Dear Malcolm Reynolds,
Thanks for your mail. I am jsut been plain and staright-forward with you, stop wasting your time and money chasing shadows. Your consignment is not in JFK. and I don't know any General Kabila of which Regiment or Unit? ask him.
Regards,
Gen.George.

21 October 2010

I missed the "your two drunks" - damn, I could have had some fun with that.

Dear Mr Malcolm
Thank you for your mail and your Understanding i make you to Understand that the form send to you is from the Delivering forum unit to no your delivery address for the United Nation Diplomat to no your Adders and delivered your two drunks to you and as soon as there arrive in the address you to us there will call you so you can come over to discussed with them and receive your two trunks boxes of your consignment from the Diplomat ok.
Notice.
that you will pay the sum of $ 400 United state dollars for the government tag to tag the two trunks boxes of consignment with your delivering address which you will fill in the form and send back to us to enable the Diplomat delivery the consignment to your address which you send to us because there are many consignment to be delivery to many country as well so when there arrive in your country there will delivery your own for you and go to another country as soon as you pay this $ 400 usd United nation will send a Document which will protect the consignment to your country in Australia so there will be no more problem my brother we have no time and we need to get things done before Sunday
and you have two option fill the form and send it back with today with the government tag charges to tag the two boxes and the document will be send in your name and send it to you tomorrow ok send to (ENEJARO GODWIN ) and email the information and my ID have been send to you to enable you no me more better
Thank From
Genera Dudu K Kwesi
From the Kotoka International Air Port With the United Nation Delivering forum Unit
The Valou of your Boxes is $ 28.3 Million Usd
00233 271029457

Jolly is getting quite worked up. What's wrong with Racine, Wisconsin?

Attn,Reynolds,
All you did in your mail is tried to insult me of my effort to secure the four consignment boxes,i dont blame you i blamed the day i receioved the call regarding the delivery of your two consignment boxes from the united nations diplomatic commission,
I want you to understand that its was the united nations commission that has paid all days long for my hotels bill ,expecting in returns after i might have completed the delivery to you ,With the united nations commission being on our side, i could have departed from USA for another delivery,which i am planing to do any moment from now if you are not able to come up the $1000usd for the procurement of the united nations delivery permit,
Mr Reynolds,you must get these on your head about my stay here in Racine Wisconsin because of the boxes,you dont even mind if i am surviving or not ,all you did its just kept quite doing nothing to help the situation,Mr Reynolds i want you to understand that is not good for the boxes to stay too long here in the airport,and remeber we are going to pay back all that the united nations diplomatic commission has spent in regards of the hotel were i have been staying because of the clearance to your four consignment boxes,
Mr Reynolds, your quick responds on getting the delivery permit will help this situation allot,
Regards,
Diplomat,Jolly Kamys

Mr Kamys,
It seems that there are four more boxes coming my way. You should be contacted about them soon.
Malcolm Reynolds

Kamali makes one last effort to get Mal to pay.

FROM THE DESK OF THE CHAIRMAN,
DE CONGESTION COMMITTEE SEAPORTS & AIRPORT
GHANA MARITIME AND OVATION UNIT,
PRESIDENTIAL CASTLE,
HIGH STREET,
ACCRA – GHANA .
Attention :
Greetings
What is there is that i am going to assist you with $850 Dollars that you should go and make the balance payment of $1000 Dollars to enable your box get to you as soon as possible.
Receiver name:George Ozugbo
Amount :$850 Dollars
Country :Accra Ghana
WAITING YOUR URGENT RESPONSE,
GENERAL OZUGBO KAMALI
+233272834859

I decided to ignore him.

22 October 2010

Mr Malcolm Reynolds,
What are you up to?have i not once told you that this boxes were retrive from security and diplomatic company all around West Africa and i am the chairman of ( Ghana Federal Consignment Committee,)if you have other box to receive from from Ghana that is not my committee.
And at this stage i advice you to proceed with my diplomat jeff or i will tell him to come back to home than if you are ready to receive your boxes than you can contact us cause i we a have alot in
ours hands.
Await your reply cause i am running out of time frame with your issue.
Gen Kabila.

General Kabila,
Just contact Jolly Kamys and get this settled.
Malcolm Reynolds

We have finally delivered the 2 consignments to Mr Kamys as you ve said.
Haopian Barkev.

26 October 2010

Alright than send me his number so that i can contact him.
Gen Kabila.

General Kabila,
It's +16305689776 - get back to me when you've spoken to him.
Malcolm Reynolds

Meet our newest participant - he's got a long introduction.

Greetings from The Office of The Ambassador
H.E. LESLIE K. CHRISTIAN
Ambassador & Permanent Representative of
The Republic of Ghana to The United Nations
Dear Malcolm Reynolds
I wish to extend my warmest regards to you and your entire household and I hope my mail finds you in the best of health.
This is a notification in regards of your consignments boxes long overdue for delivery to your designated choice of delivery. The Organization of African Union (O.A.U) in collaboration with the UN have be on series of investigation over your transaction in Africa and a proper and stringent verification in respect of your intentions towards helping young Africa children achieve their goals have been duly recognized and thus you've been found worthy in all legal and respective administration in receiving the said consignment boxes as the true and legal beneficiary.
In a recently concluded UN summit held in New York in which conclusion have been reached regarding how best delivery of consignment boxes can be delivered successfully without encountering problem with the customs, immigration or any legal sought of Organization such as the BNI,FBI,INTERPOL or the International Monetary Fund Agency etc, an agreement was reached by the board members and the President of Organization of Africa Union that delivery made confidentially and officially was going to be the key success to beneficiaries receiving their funds or other valuables with the moral assistance of the UN representative to each country respectively. Do not undermine the Official support of the UN in collaboration with the Organization of Africa Union.
Haven been appointed and accredited as the Ambassador and Permanent Representative to the UN, it would be my pleasure serving before my office with my utmost humility and sincerity during the course of this transaction and also do acknowledge that my involvement in this is strictly recommended by the authority which leaves me with no other option other than performing my duty, taking responsibility of my daily obligations as the ambassador to Ghana and Permanent Representative to the United Nations.
Individually and together combating the increase of internet fraudsters popularly known as (scam, 419ers) in recent times, I duly wish to seek your honesty and sincerity here, do not hesitate in deceasing from the act of responding to un-authorized individual bodies claiming to be in possession of some amounted sum of funds in order to have you fraud or the involvement of illegal transaction resulting into giving away your funds as the Ghanaian government would not be responsible to any loss during the period of transaction thereof. As the Ambassador & Permanent Representative to the U.N, have been mandated to feed you with all legal information's on how best your best can and will be delivered to you in accordance, I don't take pleasure in been misinterpreted for my personality cause I have no thoughts or intentions of having you fraud of your funds.
I will like you to send me this information i demanding from you,
1, your full name
2, International Passport or Driving licenses,
3, Place of delivery
4,communication number
kindly do acknowledge that should you honestly would adhere to the instructions and information's I have provided you with by confiding in me and entrusting in this transaction, then the sure success of your delivery is guaranteed without any sought of delay or further encountering problem with the customs, immigration or any sought of legal organization here nor there in your country.
Will be waiting your prompt response in respect of this transaction while all necessary arrangements to see the finalization step taken towards the possible delivery of your boxes to you are made.
Kindly find below an attach copy of my Authorized Identity Card and my official UN passport for formal Identification of me, the information contained in this e-mail message and the attached files is confidential and may also be subject to legal professional privilege. It is intended solely to whom it was address, if you believe you may have received this e-mail by mistake, you are not authorized to use, disclose or copy the e-mail or any attached file thereof.
Regards
HE Mr. Leslie Kojo Christian
Ghanaian Ambassador & Permanent
Representative to the United Nations
00233 274097165

Mr Christian,
Mr Jolly Kamys is already handling this matter. You people need to coordinate more.
Malcolm Reynolds

Dear Malcolm Reynolds,
Are you still wasting your time and money with those people who told that your consignment is in JFK. I have told you.It is just all a waste of time and money. Your consignment is in our Europe Services Centre.
Regards,
Gen.George.

General Tetteh,
Then I suggest that you tell the Europe Service Center to write me.
Malcolm Reynolds

27 October 2010

Greetings from The Office of The Ambassador
H.E. LESLIE K. CHRISTIAN
Ambassador & Permanent Representative of
The Republic of Ghana to The United Nations
Good Day Mr. Malcolm,
Mr. Malcolm i want you to try and send me the information i demand from you so that will can proceed on this transaction and for your information anybody can handle some thing and he did not successful but i can handle it and i will be successful.
Please send me the information i demand from you,
1, Your International Passport,
2, Place of delivery,
3, Full Name,
4, Communication Number.
Send this information am demand from you so that i can proceed on this transaction.
Regards
HE Mr. Leslie Kojo Christian
Ghanaian Ambassador & Permanent
Representative to the United Nations
00233 274097165

Mr Christian,
I don't understand your reply. Have you contacted Mr Kamys or not?
Malcolm Reynolds

General Kwame,
You have to contact Mr Kamys for further instructions.
Malcolm Reynolds

Next up - someone gets chopped, someone else loses his temper, and Mal gets drunk.

Posted: Fri Sep 06, 2019 3:01 am

Jolly, as ever, still hankering for his thousand dollars...

28 October 2010

Attn,Reynolds,
Mr Reynolds ,am expecting to receive your reply,but up till now you have not come up with any solution in respect of the clearance to your consignment boxes,
Please Do all your best to see that you send the $1000usd,which will enable me clear the four consignment boxes,
Regards,
Diplomat,Jolly Kamys

Dear Malcolm Reynolds ,
Thanks for your mail. You can contact the Officer in charge of our Europe Service Centre with the details below:
Name: Mr Richard Peters
Address: 43 New Cross Road,New Cross London, SE14 5DS, United Kingdom.
Phone:0044-787-673-0930
Email:[email protected]
Please contact him now.
Regards,
Gen.George.

General Tetteh,
He writes me, not the other way around.
Malcolm Reynolds

29 October 2010

What's the matter with Jolly now?

Attn,Reynolds,
What is the matter with you,Mr Reynolds,i thought you are a man that stands by his words,what you did was to keep me here in the airport all day night night trying all i can to secure your consignment boxes,and all what you tell me is to add other boxes to the boxes i am already have with me to deliver to you,and still yet you has not done anything on how we can be able to get the boxes cleared from the airport,
Mr Reynolds i need an explanation from you regarding these delay and why you dont even reply my mails which i sent to you,
I wait to hear from you as soon as you receive my message,
Regards,
Diplomat,Jolly Kamys

Mr Kamys,
When did I break my word to you?
Malcolm Reynolds

Attn,Reynolds,
i said so because you didn't even care about my situation at the airport every day,I have every dine i has in my credit card in respect of the four consignment boxes,Please try to understand my feeling about what i am going through here in Wisconsin,
Please get back to me and let me know when you are going to come up with the $1000usd for the procurement of the united nations delivery permit to be done for your consignment to be cleared from the airport,
Mr Reynolds,i am waiting to hear from you as soon as you are able to to get the money sent,
Here again is the receiver name,LAMAR BOYD,address to Chicago Ohare for the procurement,
Regards,
Diplomat,Jolly Kamys

I'm not forcing you to spend any of your own money on this matter. You have an expense account, which would cover this deal. So don't try some gorram boondoggle on me about your credit card - it won't work. In fact if you try to force my hand with a half-assed sob story like that, I might just delay things a little longer. I don't like being fed a line of bullcrap. Also, you forgot that it's Mr Reynolds, and I don't like that either.
I cannot believe that you're whining about being at the airport. Holy shit on a shingle - I'd have thought that someone from a third world dump like Ghana would love to spend as long as he can in America!
In any event, it's Sunday here, so no can do today.
Malcolm Reynolds

Maybe Jolly did contact General Kabila - though it was actually Mbe who was charging $3000.

HELLO MR MALCOLM REYNOLDS,
I JUST FINISH TAKING TO YOUR UNITED NATION DIPLOMAT AND HE IS SAYING RUBBISH CAUSE HE IS INSTRUCTING ME TO TALK ME DIPLOMAT TO SEND THE BOXES TO HIM IN THE AMERICA FOR HIM TO DELIVER TO YOU WHICH I THINK HE IS OUT OF HIS SENSE AND HE SHOULD NOT FORGET THAT THIS IS A COMMITTEE WHICH WE HAVE TO MAKE REPORT AT THE END OF THE DAY AND YOU ALSO TOLD HIM THAT YOU HAVE PAID ME THREE THOUSAND DOLLARS,WHAT FOR?HAVE I ASK ANY AMOUNT FROM YOU SINCE THE COMMITTEE CONTACTED YOU.
WHICH I HAVE COME TO CONCLUSION THAT YOU SHOULD TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT SO THAT WE CAN DELIVER YOUR BOXES TO YOU OR YOU COME TO GHANA AND RECEIVE YOUR BOXES CAUSE THEY ARE WITH MY COMMITTEE.
GET BACK TO ME AS YOU RECEIVE THIS MAIL
GEN KABILA.

General Kabila,
Something is wrong here - I haven't paid $3000 to anyone.
I've cc'd Kamys on this and I'd be interested to hear his explanation.
Malcolm Reynolds

30 October 2010

Attn,Reynolds,
All you did in your mail is tried to insult me of my effort to secure the four consignment boxes,i dont blame you i blamed the day i receioved the call regarding the delivery of your two consignment boxes from the united nations diplomatic commission,
I want you to understand that its was the united nations commission that has paid all days long for my hotels bill ,expecting in returns after i might have completed the delivery to you ,With the united nations commission being on our side, i could have departed from USA for another delivery,which i am planing to do any moment from now if you are not able to come up the $1000usd for the procurement of the united nations delivery permit,
Mr Reynolds,you must get these on your head about my stay here in Racine Wisconsin because of the boxes,you dont even mind if i am surviving or not ,all you did its just kept quite doing nothing to help the situation,Mr Reynolds i want you to understand that is not good for the boxes to stay too long here in the airport,and remeber we are going to pay back all that the united nations diplomatic commission has spent in regards of the hotel were i have been staying because of the clearance to your four consignment boxes,
Mr Reynolds, your quick responds on getting the delivery permit will help this situation allot,
Regards,
Diplomat,Jolly Kamys

Attn,Reynolds,
Regards to your message,it really sound strange to me,on introducing the review committee on this transaction,I can sincerely tell you that the review committee has nothing in regards to your four consignment boxes,because they has been aside in this transaction as you may know,
Mr Reynolds, you have also made a mistake here,this mail you sent to me,was not actually directed to me,because i can found the name of General Kabila here,so i believed general Kabila is trying to play a fast one on you,
I always want you to listen to me,because i am your diplomat,whom was appointed by the united nations diplomatic commission,I think its time you may understand that i am the only diplomat,whom has an access to your consignment boxes,Please try and ignore what ever Genera Kabila is telling,until i get the four boxes cleared and delivered to you,
Please try to see that you got the $1000usd sent to the receiver before it too late,because i can also sense that some one has began to manipulate on how to get away with your consignment boxes,and for now i don't know whom is exactly trying to do this,
Here is the receiver name,LAMAR BOYD,please address the payment to Chicago Ohare for the procurement of the united nations delivery permit,
Mr Reynolds,your quick responds will help every delay that is about to take place,
Regards,
Diplomat,Jolly Kamys

Mr Kamys,
Two of those four boxes came from General Kabila. How can he be trying to pull a fast one? It makes no sense!
Malcolm Reynolds

Attn,Mr Reynolds,
I really wanted you ,to be very careful regarding the two other boxes that is belonging to General Kabila,The reasons why i say so"its because the two consignment boxes that belongs to General Mbe has been added to the two consignment boxes which i am about to be cleared before you introduced General Mbe and General Kabila to me,
But The reason why i wanted the four boxes to be cleared first before we can talk about the two boxes that General Kabila wanted to add ,its because the two consignment which i have with me at the airport and the two which General Mbe has delivered to me by a diplomat from Ghana has been book and signed for clearance,what i am just waiting for is the delivery permit which will enable me clear the four boxes for delivery,
I can assure you as well that,,as soon as the four consignment boxes are cleared,and delivered to you,we can then call for the two boxes that General Kabila have with him,Just be rest and sure that ,the only solution for these delivery to be done properly is only when we can be able to clear the first four consignment boxes which has been booked for clearance,If you go ahead to add any other boxes to this four boxes,it means you have coursed a delay to the clearance and the delivery of the boxes to you,
Please Mr Reynolds try your best to understand me,I know that with a collective effort we can both get the four consignment boxes out of the airport,
Please dont forget that as time goes on ,there will be an impose of Tax if we dont take propper care to take the boxes out of the airport,
Mr Reynolds try to know that ,the aid of the permit can only comfirm the four consignment boxes,Because they has been booked for clearance,
I wait to hear from you,as soon as you are able to make the payment by tomorrow,
Here is the receiever name,LAMAR BOYD,address to Chicago Ohare for the procurement,
Regards,
Diplomat,Jolly Kamys

Mr Kamys,
I've copied all four Generals on this - so you people just work together, as a gorram team, and get this done!
Malcolm Reynolds

31 October 2010

Chat with Jolly Kamys
Mal: You want to tell me what the Sam Frick is happening in Ghana?
Lad: hello
what are you trying to say,please let me understand what you mean
Mal: I also want to know why you tried to have this chat off the record. Are you trying to hide something?
Lad: what am i supposed to hide from,do you realise that i am a public officer
Mal: So why did you have chat set to off the record?
Lad: what record are you talking about
are you still there
hello
Mal: When I opened chat it said that it was off the record. I hadn't asked for that so it must have been your option. I want to know why.
Lad: okay,now tell me the reason why you decided to delay the clearance of the four consignment boxes
Mal: Don't dodge the question!
Lad: No it was not me,i didnt do any thing like,may be it was the net work problem
Mal: Network problems don't do that. I reset it to record the chat, so it ain't a network issue - it was you.
Lad: no Mr Reynold,so you dont trust me,how can i do that
Mal: If you try to make it that anything we discuss isn't recorded, there can't be trust.

1 November 2010

Mr Kamys,
You ducked out from our chat so I'll ask you straight out - what the hell is happening on Ghana? Between you and Mbe and Kabila, and Kwame (or Kwesi) and Tetteh, that's ten boxes. I'd like to think that you people could gorram well coordinate!
Malcolm Reynolds

Dear Mr Macolm Reynolds,
The Head of the Services Centre in U.K told me that he has contacted you but you have not gotten back to him. What is happening?
Regards,
Gen.George

General Tetteh,
I did, but it seem that his email account isn't valid. Check my next message.
Malcolm Reynolds

General Tetteh,
As mentioned.
Malcolm Reynolds

----- Forwarded Message ----
From: Mail Delivery System <[email protected]>
Subject: Undelivered Mail Returned to Sender
Note: Forwarded message is attached.
This is the mail system at host c2mailgw10.amadis.com.
I'm sorry to have to inform you that your message could not be delivered to one or more recipients. It's attached below.
For further assistance, please send mail to postmaster.
If you do so, please include this problem report. You can delete your own text from the attached returned message.
<[email protected]>: host m2w-in1.ctmail.com[74.202.142.24] said: 550 5.1.1 <[email protected]> is not a valid mailbox

Chat with Jolly Kamys
Mal: Talk to me, damn it! And remember that it's on the record!
Lad: i cant just tell what exactly happen to my charting messenger yesterday
Mal: Just make sure it doesn't happen again. Did you receive my last email?
Lad: yes i do
Mal: So?
Lad: its was you i am waiting for to come up ,the requirement
Mal: What has that got to do with my last mesage?
Lad: i want you to understand that general mbe has,sent a diplomat to deliver two boxes to me,
Mal: Right. So what about the others?
Lad: i have told you before on my mail last message that it can only be possible for me to clear and deliver the four consignment boxes,before the ,others,
Mal: That's the part I don't get. Why are four different Ghanaian generals working on each sending me two boxes of cash?
Lad: in the other hand,,the airport authority has booked the clearance of the four consignment boxes for a long time,,,so what i am waiting for now is for you to come up with the payment ,in order for me to go ahead and get the delivery permit done,
Mal: What did I ask you just now?
Lad: you are asking me about ,,the general whom are contacting you for consignment boxes
Mal: No, the generals. Plural. All four of them. Or possibly five. One has problems with his name. Mal: I'd have thought that the Ghanaian Army had other duties.
Lad: Mr reynolds, i can only assure you of general Mbe boxes which has been deliver to me,for the rest of them ,i dont know actualy
Mal: Why don't you know?
Lad: because i am just a diplomat,whom the united nations appointed in respect of the delivery of only two boxes,but i wanted to use these opportunity deliver additional two,
just because of you
Mal: Which for some reason is now ten.
Lad: Mr Reynolds, i would like to say we should forget about,the other boxes and let me deliver only the four boxes which i am sure of
Mal: You want me to forget. I don't agree. I think all the boxes should be delivered at once.
Lad: Mr Reynolds, i cant do that,because the four boxes has been booked for clearance to take place,
Mal: Have you tried to secure the other six?
Lad: No ,
because i am not interested
Mal: Excuse me?
Lad: any other additional boxes may complicate the clearance
Mal: I don't give a gorram hairy rat's butt about that! I am talking about YOU doing your gorram job! Or is the UN gone all Newage now?
Lad: Okay, i want you to give me,the phone number of the rest of them
Mal: I've just emailed you and cc'd them on the message. You can ask them.
Lad: i have gotten the one of General Mbe and General Kabila
Mal: You now have contact with Tetteh and Kwame (or Kwesi). That's the full set.
Lad: please the phone numbers
Mal: JUST ASK THEM! It's like that gorram Limey thing that you have to be introduced.
Lad: i dont know them,
Mal: Well neither did I. Do you have a problem with starting conversations?
Lad: no
Mal: So... write them. Ask for their numbers.
Lad: but i always find it difficult to put it on
Mal: What?
Lad: i dont have any of their contact
Mal: You have their email addresses. I just supplied them to you. Duh. Check your inbox.
Lad: i have not received any
Mal: Yes you have. Check the cc line on my last message.
Lad: this is what i have here,,Mr Kamys,
You ducked out from our chat so I'll ask you straight out - what the hell is happening on Ghana? Between you and Mbe and Kabila, and Kwame (or Kwesi) and Tetteh, that's ten boxes. I'd like to think that you people could gorram well coordinate!
Malcolm Reynolds
Mal: No, the last one I sent was this:
Mr Kamys,
I've copied all four Generals on this - so you people just work together, as a gorram team, and get this done!
Malcolm Reynolds
Mal: That was ten minutes ago. It will be with you now.
Lad: may be there was a delay
Mal: How?
Lad: i dont know what to say,because i have not receive the message
Mal: Well, you will. Then you can get to work. I don't have a number for Tetteh, but Kwesi's (or Kwame's) is 00233 271029457.
Lad: Okay, i will do,i will try my best to know whom they are,and how i can get the boxes from them
Mal: Right - progress at last. Now get to it.
Lad: okay i will call kwame right away
Mal: Good. Get back to me.
Lad: okay

2 November 2010

Attn,Mr Reynolds,
Thanks for the mails you have forwarded to me regarding your boxes,but i will like to inform you that i am not ready to contact Kamys or any order body cause i don't understand what is going on,if you have some other business with kamys and some group of generals fine i don't despise that, which you know i have a committee and a name to protect so i cant work with anybody.
But if you want a favour from me regarding your boxes with my diplomat than we can put heads together and get the necessary document to enable my diplomat come to your country Australia and deliver this boxes to you with out any interference from any agency or the UN either AU cause i have their app-rover to deliver beneficiary boxes anywhere in the world as far i have the necessary document to cover the boxes.
So await your reply if you are ready to proceed so that we obtain the necessary documents to enable the diplomat proceed to your country.
Best Regards,
Gen Kabila.

General Kabila,
If you're not working with the UN, then I don't know what's going on.
Malcolm Reynolds

Subject: Beware of these people.
Dear Malcolm Reynolds ,
Thanks for your mail. I saw the correspondence of all the communication you have been having with these people. If you like go ahead with them that is not my problem. Please for yoour own good note these points:
1. Government of Ghana does not use Federal in any of thier documents or Committe, because we do not operate a federal system. So this so called( Ghana Federal consignment Review Committe is FALSE.
2. There is no Parliamentary Committe that will be headed by a Military Officer( Ghana is the strongest democratic system in Africa) This is also FALSE.
3. That Diplomat Jolly Kamy is no where near U.S, they him to give you full address where he is so that you can verify that.
I have told you that your consignment is in U.K with our Officer Richard Peters so it is up to you. his email is good, I just wrote him and since you can get his mail, why can't he get yours, because if
that email is not valid he would not be able to write you from there.
Regards,
Gen.George.

General Tetteh,
I'll look into the questions you raised with points 1 and 2. On point 3, I have to question how you could know that.
I sent you the error message that I got with Richard Peters' email, exactly as I received it. I've cc'd this message to him, so we'll see what happens.
Malcolm Reynolds

ATTN: MR REYNOLDS,
TOP OF THE DAY TO YOU. I GOT THE CC OF THE MAIL YOU SENT TO GEN. GEORGE TETTEH. I WAS SURPRISED WHEN GENERAL TOLD ME THAT YOU SAID MY EMAIL ADDRESS IS INVALID. THIS IS A VERIFICATION.
SINCERELY,
RICHARD PETERS( CHIEF OPERATING OFFICER)
N.B
WE SERVE YOU BETTER.

3 November 2010

Mr Malcolm Reynolds,
Who do you think is working with the UN Kamys or who?i don't know what they have been telling you, but my brother take my advice be careful before or you become a victim cause i dont know those names you are calling as UN official cause i am directly working with UN and AU for five years now and i have not come across those names.
So if you want my diplomat to deliver your boxes to you just work with the committee so that my diplomat can bring your boxes to your door step,i think that is all i have to say for now,once again take my advice cause my word is my bond.
Get back to me so that i can start processing the legal document for your boxes to enable the diplomat deliver to you in your country without delay. cheers.
Best Regards,
Gen Kabila.

General Kabila,
I don't know what to believe now.
Malcolm Reynolds

4 November 2010

Dear Malcolm Reynolds,
Thanks for your mail. Don't forget that you are dealing with An Intelligence Officer so I know what I am talking about. Please finish up with Mr Peters and get your consignment instead of wasting your time and money with those people.
Regards,
Gen.George.

General Tetteh,
I always assumed that Military Intelligence was an oxymoron. But I'll do as you suggest.
Malcolm Reynolds

5 November 2010

Hello Mr. Malcolm Reynolds,
I receive your mail and is well read,which i know how it is when a man is confuse,but i just want to give you a clue that i think it will make you know what to believe.i have attach UN and International passport in this mail for your pursuit and to make you know i have been working the UN for years now.
I will want you to get back to me so that i can make all necessary arrangement to deliver your consignment boxes to you cause the Ghana Govt is now asking me to summit our report of those that has been deliver so that the ones that we could not deliver they will take them to Ghana treasury commission,which i know you don't want yours to be added to the list cause if i don't hear from you i will have no choice than to add it to my report.
Get back to me as soon as you can so that i can obtain the delivering documents to enable the diplomat deliver to you in your country,await your reply cause is urgent.
Regards,
Gen Dominic Kabila.

General Kabila,
You should not have sent your ID - it's an invitation to identity theft; the US and most NATO countries don't allow that.
I want to know what to do but I am not sure who is telling the truth about what.
Malcolm Reynolds

Attn: Malcolm Reynolds,
Let me know what you have decided as I have not heard from for awhile now.
Sincerely,
Richard Peters.

Mr Peters,
I need proof that you're in possession of the funds in question.
Malcolm Reynolds

Dear Malcolm Reynolds,
How far have you gone with Mr Richard.Peters. Please let me give you a peice of information so that you can act fast. The Presidential Task Force will be visiting our Europe Service Centre in another two days from now. Liase with Mr Richard to either effect your delivery on time or tale out your consignment from the warehouse there or else stock will be taken and you might find things difficult. Act fast now.
Regards,
Gen.George.

General Tetteh,
Mr Peters hasn't replied to my last message.
Malcolm Reynolds

6 November 2010

Attn: Mr Malcolm Reynolds,
Please find attached the Decalaration Form I used to passed through the Customs and get into U.K. I awaits your response.
Sincerely,
Richard Peters
We serve you better.

Mr Peters,
According to the form, the money in question was made from the sale of commercial goods. That is not true.
Malcolm Reynolds

8 November 2010

Subject: Attn: Mr Malcolm Reynolds, I don't have time for this.
Attn: Mr Reynolds,
If I did that to protect your funds is that bad? You are supposed to be grateful and not otherwise. If is is not stated like that what do yo want to state there? Even if Family Inheritance, how did the Family get the money? Is that your problems now? or how to make sure you get it. Are you acting as the Authorities now? with something that belongs to you. I have no time for this. If you are not ready, I will send it straight to our government coffers here in U.K
Sincerely,
Richard Peters.
We serve you better.

Mr Peters,
You can stow that gorram attitude right now! You just admitted to lying on an official form. How is that good?
Let me tell you something. That money is no gorram inheritance. It's from the United Nations, to be used for relief purposes at my discretion. There was no need to do any cockamamie crap and lies on actual official documents.
You're crapping on about how grateful I should be. The money isn't mine; as I said, it's UN funds. So you can stop expecting me to kiss your gorram feet.
You can also tell me where the other $7 million went.
Malcolm Reynolds

Attn: Mr Reynolds,
Honestly, I do not like the way you approach people. This is not good for someone you have not met. Well You said it is U.N Funds. Please think like a very reasonable Man, I know you are. Have you ever seen U.N handling huge funds to a single individual to effect relieve to displaced persons around the World, rather it is the other way round. don't allow anyone to put you into trouble. If I had declared that the funds is U.N own. What do you think. With regards to the other $7M, I just gave you the declaration content of one box as a proof. Tell me what you want to do now.
Sincerely,
Richard Peters
We serve you better.

Mr Peters,
I don't believe that the UN gives funds to displaced persons to effect relieve of single individuals around the World, which is what you are saying. Just think before you type.
I'm not responsible for UN policy, but you are responsible for giving accurate information to the customs authorities.
Malcolm Reynolds

Genera Tetteh,
That Peters bonehead is a gorram jerkwad prima donna. How the Sam Frick did he did that job?
Malcolm Reynolds

Chat with Jolly Kamys
Lad: hello
Lad: Mr Reynolds,I have waited to have your reply regarding what i told you about on getting the boxes cleared
Lad: Please try your best to get back to me with the payment information as soon as posible

9 November 2010

Mr Malcolm Reynolds,
In regard of your mail and question ask on what to do?is to get the necessary document for delivering to enable my UN diplomat come to your country for delivering.
Get back to me so that i can obtain this documents to enable the diplomat live for your country without delay.
Regards,
Gen Kabila.

General Kabila,
What do you need then?
Malcolm Reynolds

Subject: Attn: Mr Malcolm Reynolds,This is not my business.
Attn: Mr Reynolds,
What I want you to understand is that, it is individuals that donor to U.N to assist them give relieves to displaced persons and not U.N giving money to individuals to assist displaced person. I know what I am talking about. I have showed you the proof of your funds in my Custody. It is left for you to go ahead or forget about it. Gen. George told that you are acting like that because you are dealing with some people that have been decieving you and that you so much believe them. Well that is not my problem. I cannot tell you what to do.We are not trading words here. If you feel that you are so intelligent, I wonder why you cannot see your nose.
Sincerely,
Richard Peters.

Mr Peters,
What I'm dealing with here is a stuck-up, juvenile little turd who won't accept that he's wrong. You've committed a crime by forging an official document and our business here is done.
Malcolm Reynolds

Attn: Mr Reynolds,
You can go fuck yourself for all I care. You are bastard.

Chat with Jolly Kamys
Mal: Mr Kamys, report.
Lad: yes i am here with you
Mal: Not quite.
Lad: have you gone to send the money
Mal: I've been. Has your man picked it up yet?
Lad: did you send the money to chicago
Mal: No, I sent it to Chiang Mai.
Lad: what do you mean about Chiang Mai,were is that,did i ask you to send the money to were you just mentioned,i asked you to send the money to Chicago Ohare,
Mal: Of course I sent it to gorram Chicago.
Lad: Here is the receiver name,LAMAR BOYD
Mal: Holy shit on a shingle - where's your gorram sense of humor?
Mal: Hang on - LAMAR BOYD? Say again?
Lad: did you make a mistake
Mal: What?
Lad: i hope ,you said the money has been sent
Mal: Yeah, to Mr Boswell, as per your message.
Lad: what are you talking about,if you have sent the money ,then give me the payment information by scanning it to me
Mal: What do you mean IF, asshole?
Lad: have you send the money
remember there no more time we are now getting to the end of these year
Mal: Yes, to JAMES BOSWELL, as you said. Are you all right?
Lad: so i believe it will be wise for to make sure the boxes are cleared and delivered to you before it too late
Mal: Will you stop all that waffle and get to the gorram point?!?
Lad: Mr,Reynolds.you dont know how i feel about this
Mal: What the hell is this gorram boondoggle?
Lad: if you have made the payment to the wrong name ,that means you will have to change the name to LAMAR BOYD,and address to Chicago Ohare for the procurement
Mal: I didn't make the payment to the wrong person. It went to your man as you requested.
Lad: what is the person name you went to
Mal: JAMES BOSWELL, you backbirther!!! The name you gave me.
Lad: that is not the receiver name
Mal: Oh yes it is.
Lad: and i must assure you that you has make the greatest mistake
Mal: I've made a mistake? No way Jose.
Lad: have you given the payment information to any body before
Mal: What the hell are you talking about?
Lad: i am asking,so that you can go ahead to change the receiver before it too late
please when did you sent the money
Mal: This afternoon.
Lad: remember i am not Josy,I am diplomat Jolly Kamys
Mal: What?
Lad: that is the reason i am asking if you have given the information to some one els
Mal: I have no idea what the Sam Frick you're talking about.
Lad: okay if you have sent the money ,then give me the payment information
Mal: You aren't picking up the money. JAMES BOSWELL is.
Lad: Okay Mr Reynolds, i want you to go now and change the name you sent the money to,this name LAMAR BOYD
Mal: I can't. It happens to be 2120 over here. And why are you asking me to do that?
Lad: BECAUSE WITH THAT NAME,YOU SAID YOU MAKE THE PAYMENT TO IS NOT THE RIGHT NAME TO MAKE THE PAYMENT INTO,
Mal: IT'S THE NAME YOU GAVE ME, BONEHEAD!!!!!!
Lad: I DIDNT GAVE YOU THAT NAME MOTHERFUCKER
Mal: OK, we're done here.
Lad: i want you to go and send the money to this name,LAMAR BOYD
Mal: Calling someone stupid is one thing. The insult you used is unforgiveable.
Lad: I AM SORRY,PLEASE ACCEPT MY APOLOGY
Mal: It'll take a lot to make me forget that. I'm going to go and get myself a drink.
Lad: WERE ARE YOU
Lad: hello are you there
Mal: I am calming down bit by bit. The gorram bar fridge doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Lad: Mr Reynolds ,i am surprised at your did,so you drink alcohol
Mal: Excuse me?
Lad: i never knew you take alcohol
Mal: Do you have a gorram problem with that??
Lad: i am afraid to know about this act,you dont need to drink alcohol
Mal: None of your gorram business!!
Lad: okay,i know is not my problem.i am sorry about interfering into your personal affair
hello Reynolds
Mal: What? It's $12.50 for a small bottle here. Gorram pirates.
Lad: so what time are you planning to go and send the money in the name which i just gave to you
Mal: For the love of Pete - I sent the gorram money in the name you gave me. What the Sam Frick has changed?
Lad: Please you are misunderstanding me,right from the first day ,i gave to you,LAMAR BOYD as the receiver of the $1000usd
you must go and change the name and get back to me now
Mal: The last email you sent me named JAMES BOSWELL, no doubt about it.
Lad: there must be a problem some were,since we are able to know about this problem let correct it before it will be too late
Mal: What do you mean?
Lad: i mean you should go and change the name were ever you gone to make the payment,
did you pay through money gram or western union
Mal: Not that! I meant what is the problem you're talking about?
Lad: the problem is the wrong name which you have used in sending the money,
Mal: It's the name that you gave me.
Lad: So what are your aims now,you mean you are not going to change the name
Mal: Just tell me why you gave me the wrong name!
Lad: i am not the one,that is why i said some thing is wrong some were,the name i gave to you is,LAMAR BOYD
Mal: No, you sent me JAMES BOSWELL!
Lad: BUT now that we knew is not the correct name ,you will have no option than to make the changes very fast
Mal: Why did you give me the wrong name?
Lad: you go and change the name now ,why are you arguing
Mal: Because it happens to be 2205 here.
Lad: its night there,so i hope by tomorrow you will get it done with
are you still there
Mal: Trying to find some soda.
Lad: soda to do what
Mal: Use your gorram brain!
Lad: why are you telling me these words
Mal: Because you're pissing me off.
Lad: okay i am sorry,about all that has happen,But i want you to promise that you will go and change the receiver name to LAMAR BOYD,so that we can finalized this transaction
are you charting with some there
Mal: I weent to Sudney to do this gforram thing because theires no MG agecny in Alcie Springs and Im spending hundres on aoir faras and hotel bills and its not even wmy gorramm job.
Lad: i am sorry,but we must have to clear the boxes no matter what stress you have gone through,
Mal: If your d aggeed to a bnak trasnfer itsd be doen and dustred by now.
Lad: Mr Reynolds ,try your best to make the changes by tomorrow morning,and get back to me
Mal: Sure, whoi y not
Lad: so what time will i be expecting to have the payment information,please give me the time
Mal: notaclue
Lad: what do mean by notaclue
are you there
Mal: Whay do tyou tnhink that I mean
Lad: i dont know,its because i dont understand what you said,that i was asking
Mal: Have a droimk an forgret it
Lad: so you dont want to tell me what you mean
Mal: Donat mne such a worryewrat
Lad: you are speaking your language
Mal: yeagk fun eh>
Lad: okay i will ask my friend all this words
Mal: jhonny wakler still gonmh sronh
Lad: i have a friend whom is an australian,he married to my sister
Mal: prroo guyu
Lad: i am about to go,
Mal: To the bra>
Lad: please give me the time to get the payment information
Mal: Have onbe onr me
Lad: i will be living
Mal: barndy amd sod hacve a coiple
Lad: Mr Reynolds, i want to know the time to have the information
Mal: yuo got plan ty of time iguarten teeew tat
Lad: hello
are you there,
i will be waiting to have the payment information by tomorrow morning,please dont disappoint me
dont forget,that the receiver name is LAMAR BOYD,address to Chicago Ohare
Lad: Mr Reynolds ,Please make sure you got the money sent this morning ,so that we can finalize this transaction

Next up... "God will punish for insulting me" - and someone else gets chopped.

Posted: Tue Sep 10, 2019 12:23 am

We resume with the unhappy Gen. George.

10 November 2010

Subject: What is going on?
Dear Mr Malcolm Reynolds,
I assisted get your funds int a safe place from the hands to these corrupt politicians you have been dealing with and All Mr Richard Peters gets from you is insults, insults and more insults. Listen to me I am not telling not to deal with those people that have been telling you one story or the other about your Funds in JKF.Have you ever thought how long it will take them to leave that Airport and get to you. Go ahead with them if you like. I have done my best, I will not arm twist you about this transaction any longer. The choice is your.
Regards,
Gen. George.

General Tetteh,
Peters is a brainless fool with a foul mouth who tried to pass off a false document to British customs. If you were really on my side you'd work with professionals, not dip-dunk can't *DELETED* no-loads like Peters.
Doom on you.
Malcolm Reynolds

Subject: why all these insults?
Dear Mr Malcolm,
I have asked Mr Peters to send me the documents and I have gone through it. What is false about that document, that he stated the sources of funds as money derived from the sales of commercial goods. Is that supposed to be your problem or that the funds is still safe and has not been confiscated? The British Customs are not worried about that, rather it is you that was safegaurded that is worried, The funds have gone through the Customs and in our Warehouse in U.K there, so what is your problem?I am really surprise at the languauges you are using. This mail I beleive is not from you, maybe someone else, because you have not had such useless and foul communication with me before. If you know you are not satisfied then you can as well forget about this transaction. I stop all these insult OK.
Regards,
Gen.George.

General Tetteh,
The money is not derived from any sale. Therefore Peters lied. If you can't get that simple fact, then turn in your gorram pips because you ain't got the brains that God gave an earthworm.
Malcolm Reynolds

11 November 2010

Mr.Malcolm Reynolds,
ALL I NEED IS LISTED BELOW;
1). NON INSPECTION CERTIFICATE.
2). CLEARANCE OF THE BOXES FROM UN OFFICE.
3). DELIVERY PERMIT.
THAT IS ALL THAT IS REQUIRED FOR YOUR DELIVERY,AWAIT YOUR URGENT REPLY.
REGARDS,
GEN DOMINIC KABILA.

General Kabila,
Ain't got them.
Malcolm Reynolds

Subject: You must be very crazy
Mr Malcolm,
God will punish for insulting me. You will continue to pay those people and you will not see anything. Let us see who got the brains. If Peters declared the source of your funds as money from sales of commercial goods to safeguard it not to be confiscated, what is wrong with that? Is he not protecting it and to make sure the Customs does not tampered with it. Are you normal, what has the reason for declaration of your funds got to do with you. Are you actin g as the Customs or those in Authorites who wants to know the sources of the funds. Do you have any other intention that you have be dragging this matter that Mr Petrs lied to the Customs, to secure your funds, therefor he is guilty? What exactly are you driving at. How does this declaration affected you? Are you not supposed to be happy. Are you so dumb that it was secured for you? Are Customs asking you anything. OK forget this transaction. I will tell Mr Peters to look for a relaible person that can take over the funds.maybe your brain is not correct. Go and be dealing withthose people you know before and be happy. If you get a dime, then you will know that I don't know what I am talking about.

General Tetteh,
You're nothing special. I don't think God (if he exists) cares for the feelings of dimwitted REMFs like you. Fact of the matter is, I don't want to be linked to someone who knowingly made a false declaration to Customs and that's that.
I also just have to read your gorram drivel to know that you don't know what you're talking about.
Malcolm Reynolds

Chat with Jolly Kamys
Lad: i have send you a mail regarding the receiver name
Mal: No you didn't.
Lad: please i will like to know if you have sent the money
Mal: It's been picked up. Boswell has it. Talk to him.
Lad: whom is boswell, please give me his number,now so that i can contact the national security
Mal: What the Sam Frick is going on?
Lad: i have warned you before to be very careful with any person whom you are dealing with
Mal: I sent it to your man Boswell.
Lad: please give me his cell phone number
Mal: I don't have it.
Lad: i dont know whom you are talking about
Mal: You gave me his name! YOU GAVE ME HIS GORRAM NAME!!!!!
Lad: i didnt ,if i do,i will know that i did by given his name to you,but the fact was that i dont even know whom you are talking about in this transaction
this is the name i gave to you,LAMAR BOYD
Mal: And then you said Boswell.
Lad: and its has to be received in Chicago Ohare for tha procurement
Mal: I took you at your word. It went to Chicago. Like you said. What part of that don't you understand?
Lad: Mr Reynolds, i dont know whom you are talking about,now you have pay these money to the wrong name
Mal: It's the name that you gave me and the place that you gave me.
Mal: What a Charlie Foxtrot.
Lad: Mr Reynolds,i think i am in good position to warn you about going to pick the money back and send the money to the receiver name which i personally gave to you,

12 November 2010

Hello Mr Malcolm Reynolds,
How are you and things generally?hope you are okay and healthy,i write to inform you that the committee is still waiting to hear from you to enable us obtain the documents which will enable the diplomat proceed for your delivery.
Get back as soon as you can to enable the diplomat proceed with your delivery.
Regards,
Gen Dominic Kabila.
National Chairman (GFCRC)

General Kabila,
Please respond.
Malcolm Reynolds

14 November 2010

Chat with Jolly Kamys
Lad: Mr Reynolds, what are your intention on how we can get the united nations delivery permit in respect of your consignment boxes,
Lad: hello, Reynolds, i have waited for you to get back to me, but you couldnt,i want to know how you have gone in order for the united nations delivery permit to be done
Lad: Please as soon as you get my message try and tell me when you are going to come up,with the payment ,

Lad: hello,Mr Reynolds
Mal: Oh, you read my mail.
Lad: yes, you know you are always funny
Mal: And you are often rude.
Lad: No i am not,remember i always rely on your abilities,so for this reasons i am loyal
Mal: To whom?
Lad: to you of cause
hello are you there
Mal: Yeah. I had nothing to say just then.
Lad: okay,,I want to you know when you can be able to come up with balance payment ,so that i can you in the payment,
Mal: Yeah, now that's the thing, isn't it...
Lad: In my credit card i have only the sun of $600usd,if you can come up with $400usd, it will be more easier for you to pay,
Mal: Thanks to your lax IT security, I am down $1000, and Mitchell lost my $520 - both to someone named Boswell. I assumed he was a UN accountant or something.
Lad: no, this are one those internet scammers which the united nations commission has been looking,any vital information about this person may be very useful fighjt against them.
Mal: Exactly. I've been ripped off and it's your fault.
Lad: Because of these same issue one of them was already arrested,
Mal: What?
Lad: i am telling you the truth,the other guy you told me you sent the money to does not exist in this transaction,so i think is time for us to be wise
Mal: I know that! Mitchell was pretty firm on that too.
Lad: i dont even know whom is called mitchel,if i know i will tell you i do,
Mal: Mitchell is one of the Ghanaian UN contacts. He's attached to the IMF.
Lad: Mr Reynolds dont trust any one,
Mal: Don't spring that X-Files crap on me!
Lad: the reason i am fighting to make sure your consignment boxes are delivered is because ,i have been appointed by the united nations to deliver the two consignment boxes to you,
i want you to be sure and rest that as soon as you are able to come up with the $400usd,i will help in the rest payment ,so that it can less your cost
Mal: The way I see it, you owe me $1000 that was stolen thanks to your crap security.
Lad: so what are trying to say
Mal: Pay the bill yourself. The UN will reimburse you.
Lad: there is no way i can be allowed to pay the bill my self,if i even has the total money to pay it cant do that also, I was able to assist you because you are going to pay some amount of money in order for the procurement officer be in assurance of getting the delivery permit done,if you dont pay any money in reghards of your consignment boxes ,a payment slip will not be given to you,is only upon the receipt of your own part of the money that can allow The procurement of to ahead in procureing the delivery permit
Mal: In light of your incompetence, I can't accept that.
Lad: Okay, i am very sorry about what ever might have happen to first payment,But if you should rely on that,it means we will get in problem,Mr Reynolds, i can say since i been able to come up with sum of $600usd that balance payment will not be too difficult,if really you are serious about it
Lad: are you there
Mal: Yes.
Lad: i hope you now understand why i cannot pay the whole of the money,
Mal: No.
Lad: Okay, because a payment slip is needed to show that you are endorsing the procurement of the derlivery permit,with out the payment slip they will not agree to produce the delivery permit,But as soon as you can be able to make a payment for the delivery permit,i will go ahead to book my flight and sent to you my flight schedules so that you may know when i am departing to meet with you at your doorstep
Mal: Forget it. I don't trust you to get anything right.

15 November 2010

Mr.Malcolm Reynolds,
In respond to mail all document are been obtain from the United Nation High Commission,which i will advice you get back to me with the amount requested for, so that i can obtain the required document to enable the diplomat come to your country for the delivery.
Which all payment should be pay to the committee Admin officer UDEH CHUKWUMA, so that i can get the necessary document for your delivery.Get back immediately you receive this mail to enable us put everything in order for your delivery which will permit my diplomat to proceed for your delivery.
Await your urgent reply cause we have to proceed.
Gen Dominic Kabila

Chat with Jolly Kamys
Lad: hello,Mr Reynolds
are you there
Mal: Good day.
Lad: Mr Reynolds, how are you going about to get the money sent
Mal: I said what should be done. It's not as if the gorram UN isn't rolling in money.
Lad: Please the un has nothing to do about this any more,its left for you to come up with the payment ,in order to assure the procurement officer that you are the rightful owner of the foyr consignment boxes
Mal: Are you drunk or something? This has everything to do with the UN. It's their gorram money!
Lad: Listen to me mr reynolds,this does not concern them ,because they have done their best to keep the consignment boxes from the eyes of criminal for your sake,
Mal: On the other hand, the money I sent you got stolen. You didn't do your job so well, did you?
Lad: all the airport authority needed now is just for you to get the delivery permit in your own name as the person whom i am coming to deliver to
Mr Reynolds, I didnt receive any money you sent,
Mal: Are you paying attention?
Lad: that is why i warned you to be very careful in what ever you are doing in respect of your consignment boxes
Mal: That's the point - thanks to your pissweak IT security, I was robbed.
Lad: yes you have been robbed of your money,that is why i want you be very careful
try and understand all this,instead of arguing with me,
Mal: Listen you stupid bonehead - YOU should have been careful! It's thanks to YOU that I got robbed! YOU JUST DON'T GET IT!
Lad: why are you so stupid to call me astupid person
Mal: I'm not the one who let his account get hacked. I'm not the one who told stupid lies about his passport. I think the facts speak for themselves. You are stupid. That about sums you up.
Lad: Mr Reynolds,let forget about this issues all are past issue,let come to reality , the truth is that we needed the delivery permit to assist the clearance of your consignment boxes
Mal: Go get a real job.
Lad: what els do want me to do
Mal: Is there anything else that you want to tell me?

16 November 2010

Chat with Jolly Kamys
Lad: hello
Mal: Yes?
Lad: how is the family
Mal: I don't have a family except for a daughter.
Mal: She's fine, not that you would have cared.
Lad: that is a part of your family
Mal: One daughter is not "the family". You were just going through the motions.
Lad: okay you are correct about that
Lad: Mr Reynolds,I want to know if you still want me to clear the four consignment boxes
Mal: Which would mean sending the money, I gather.
Lad: I have tell you before that,if even you dont have the exact amount needed i can as well assist you in the payment,what i needed from you its just an endorsement which will prove that you are the one receiving the delivery
Mal: I've already sent $1000 for nothing. Bear in mind that I'm getting nothing out of this.
Lad: If it really you sent the money,give me the payment slip for verification
Mal: Are you calling me a liar?
Lad: i dont mean so,all i wanted to do is send the slip to the procurement officer to prove to him that some has collected the money base on these same reason
Mal: You said "If".
Lad: that means you didnt send the money
Mal: So you are accusing me of lying.
Lad: but if really you sent the money ,that means you can be able to send the payment slip
Mal: OK, I'll do that. Maybe then you'll pull your head in.

17 November 2010

Mr Malcolm Reynolds,
I have responded to your last mail,which the committee is waiting for you to provide the required funds so that i can personally obtain those document from the United Nations High Commission office to enable the diplomat take off with your cargo.
Get back immediately cause all has been put in place for your delivery.
Major Gen Kabila.

Mr.Malcolm Reynolds,
The committee is still waiting to hear from you so that we can obtain the required document to enable us proceed with your delivery.
Await your urgent respond cause we need to hear from you.Get back.
Regards,
Major Gen Dominic Kabila

Mr.Malcolm Reynolds,
In respond to mail all document are been obtain from the United Nation High Commission,which i will advice you get back to me with the amount requested for, so that i can obtain the required document to enable the diplomat come to your country for the delivery.
Which all payment should be pay to the committee Admin officer UDEH CHUKWUMA, so that i can get the necessary document for your delivery.Get back immediately you receive this mail to enable us put everything in order for your delivery which will permit my diplomat to proceed for your delivery.
Await your urgent reply cause we have to proceed.
Gen Dominic Kabila

General Kabila,
I wrote back to you and you write back asking me to write back to you.
I hope that there's some sense to this.
Malcolm Reynolds

Mr Malcolm Reynolds,
I have responded to your last mail,which the committee is waiting for you to provide the required funds so that i can personally obtain those document from the United Nations High Commission office to enable the diplomat take off with your cargo.
Get back immediately cause all has been put in place for your delivery.
Major Gen Kabila.

General Kabila,
Fine, but I'll need the proper invoice first.
Malcolm Reynolds

18 November 2010

If you guessed that Kabila would reply in any other way, you haven't been scambaiting long.

Mr Malcolm Reynolds,
What proper invoice are you talking about? cause invoice are not issue before payment, make the payment so that I can obtain the required documents than you get all necessary invoice including copy of the documents cause for now there is none to provide.
Pay via western union or money gram to enable the committee Admin officer pick up, which his information is listed below:
Name : MR UDEH CHUKWUMA.
Security question: WHAT FOR?
Answer : DOCUMETATION
Amount :USD$3000.
Get back immediately with the payment information to enable the diplomat proceed with your cargo delivery cause i have report to make to the presidency,which your delivery process is delaying.
Major Gen Kabila.
National Chairman (GFCRC)

General Kabila,
You've got it ass backwards.
I'm not asking for a receipt for money that's been paid; I'm asking for an invoice for the money that's going to be paid. The two are totally different and I'm surprised that you got them mixed up.
Please send the invoice promptly.
Malcolm Reynolds

If the Lad had looked at the text below Mal's reply, he would have seen a change to the wording of his last message to Mal...

Mr Malcolm Reynolds,
What proper invoice are you talking about? cause invoice are not issue before payment, make the payment so that I can obtain the required documents than you get all necessary invoice including copy of the documents cause for now there is none to provide.
Pay via western union or money gram to enable the committee Admin officer pick up, which his information is listed below:
Name : JAMES BOSWELL.
Security question: WHAT FOR?
Answer : DOCUMETATION
Amount :USD$3000.
Get back immediately with the payment information to enable the diplomat proceed with your cargo delivery cause i have report to make to the presidency,which your delivery process is delaying.
Major Gen Kabila.
National Chairman (GFCRC)

HEAD OF THE ANTI SCAM DEPARTMENT ACCRA GHANA.
Attention Malcolm Reynolds.
How are you today and your families? Regards to your consignment that was discover here in Ghana by some fake diplomat and some little boys but I thank God that we have got them arrested and even kill one of the diplomat because they are spoiling the good name of our country Ghana so they no longer trust us in any business abroad. As I write you this email our President is not happy over the issue of failure delivery at all so he signed that all consignment that has been stuck in our country must be deliver to their owner safely.
Right now your boxes is order our custody and we are ready for the delivery to you safely in your country and you are advise to send the following information bellow to enable us proceed folder.
1) The front page copy of your international passport.
2) Your residential address for the delivery
3) The airport that is very close to you.
After I receive all the required information I will quickly inform you the names of all the document that we need and the cost to obtain the documents so that we can speed up the delivery of the consignment to you and also view attachment is one of the picture of the arrested scammers and we are sending him to jail first thing tomorrow morning my time.
I look forward to your urgent response.
regards
FRANK GILBERT
Telephone:00233249349189
HEAD OF THE ANTI SCAM DEPARTMENT ACCRA GHANA.

Attn: Frank Gilbert
Sir,
If you killed Jolly Kamys then you've done the world a big favor! Did they take anything from the boxes? There should be $22 million in them.
Malcolm Reynolds

19 November 2010

Hello Mr. Malcolm.
I got your email and everything is inside the box they did not take anything out and everything is well and intact. Please send the information you are require to send so that we can proceed.
Frank Gilbert.

Mr. Malcolm Reynolds,
Thanks for the explanation in your last mail which you will pardon me for replying this late is just that I went for an official duty which has cause this delay of the invoice you requested for, I have attach the invoice to this mail which I will advice you go through and get back to me with the payment information of the required fees to enable me obtain the documents so that your cargo can
leave immediately for your country Australia.
Get back, ASAP.
Gen. Kabila.

22 November 2010

Mr. Malcolm Reynolds,
Thanks for the explanation in your last mail which make me understand the invoice you are asking for,which you will pardon me for replying this late is just that I went for an official duty which has cause this delay of the invoice you requested for, I have attach the invoice to this mail which I will advice you go through and get back to me with the payment information of the required fees to enable me obtain the documents so that your cargo can leave immediately for your country Australia.
Get back, ASAP.
Gen. Kabila.

24 November 2010

Mr Malcolm Reynolds,
How are today and life generally?hope all is well,Reynolds i write to inform you that i are still waiting to hear from you to enable us proceed with the delivery of your cargo.
Get back.....ASAP.
Regards,
Gen Kabila.(GFCRC)

General Kabila,
I sent the fee yesterday, as per your information. I expect to hear from you once it's been collected.
Malcolm Reynolds

25 November 2010

Mr Malcolm Reynolds,
I did not get any payment information from you, so how we i collect the fund and proceed for the documentation.
Once again the payment receive name name is Mr UDEH CHUKWUMA ,i will be waiting to hear from you get back to me with the payment information so that i can proceed with the documentation to enable my diplomat proceed with your delivery.
Get back to me ASAP.
Gen Kabila.

General Kabila,
Who the hell is UDEH CHUKWUMA? That's not the name that you gave me!
Malcolm Reynolds

Mr. Malcolm Reynolds,
What do you mean by who is UDEH CHUKWUMA? he is the admin officer that have all access to payment as far the committee is in consign and i don’t understand what you are saying that you have make the payment to who? Send me the payment slip so that i can investigate this matter cause seems you are playing games or someone else is messing around.
Get back to me with the copy of the payment slip so that I can investigate this matter and reply to the committee alternative address [email protected]. Seems we have been hark.
Await your immediate reply cause is very urgent.
Gen.Kabila

General Kabila,
You told me to send the money to James Boswell. Check below for your message from the 18th. I am not playing games!
Malcolm Reynolds

Than send me a copy of the slip,so that i can know where to start my investigation cause i didn't send the name of James Bowswell to you that is to say something is wrong some where.
Get back ASAP.....with the payment slip cause is urgent,once again send all mail to our alternative mail address cause it seems this box is not safe anymore.
Gen.Kabila.

A renamed DLL file wings its way to the Lad.

General Kabila,
I got the form scanned for you. Now find out what the Sam Frick happened.
Malcolm Reynolds

26 November 2010

Chat with Jolly Kamys
Lad: hello,mr Reynolds
Mal: Yes?
Lad: why did you kept me all through at the hotel ,waiting for you to come up with the amount needed to get the permit done
hello are you there
Mal: Yes. From the 'did' I assume that you're not in Kansas any more.
Lad: do you mean kansas in missouri
Mal: Never mind. It's a pop culture thing.
Lad: so what are your intention,are you ready to make the payment or not
Mal: So you are still in the hotel?
Lad: remember i told you that i was there for the reasons that i about to clear up to three consignment boxes, remember also that its was the united nations diplomatic commission that has paid for all my stay at the hotel
Mal: I thought it was supposed to be four.
Lad: only yours is four
Mal: Anyway - if they paid for your hotel room and everything they should pay for the gorram shipment.
Lad: the other three consignment boxes belong to some one els
it cannot be done so,because you are person whom the procurement officer expected to come up with required fund in order for an assurance so that he can go ahead to procure the permit in respect of your four consignment boxes
Mal: Which I paid for, but which was stolen thanx to your lax IT security.
Mal: Hold on... "you are person whom the procurement officer expected to come up with required fund in order for an assurance" What do you mean by an "assurance"?
Lad: yes,this a means for the procurement officer to believe that you are endorsing with the amount of money which has been related to you ,and also with a payment slip which he will rely on to get the united nations delivery permit done
Mal: That's just a really cockamamie way to do business. But then it is the UN.
Lad: Listen to me Mr Reynolds ,the UN has nothing to do in regards to the permit,its a must that you will come up with an endorsement to assure the procurement officer
Mal: How in the hell can the UN have nothing to do with this??
Lad: i mean in respect of the payment
Mal: This is a UN matter. Who sets those rules if not the UN?
Lad: that is why you will has to come up with required amount needed for them to procure the permit
Mal: This is a UN matter. Who sets those rules if not the UN?
Lad: every thing that is needed in respect of this delivery must be done prperly,
Mal: BY WHOSE RULES!???
Lad: by the airport authority ,and the procurement officer in order for the united nations delivgery permit to be done
Mal: The airport authority wouldn't be involved in that level - and the procurement officer would be one of yours.
Lad: i have never seen him before ,its was a direction from the airport authority and a confirm issue from the united nations commission
Mal: I know from bitter experience that you're bullshitting me.
Lad: i am not
all i needed from you is just your co-operation,

3 December 2010

Dear Mr. Malcolm Reynolds,
I don't understand the way you do things,is that you are not interested in your boxes anymore,i will advice you let us know so that i can write them off to my government.
Get back as soon as possible cause your time frame to receive this boxes is limit.
Gen Kabila.
National Chairman.(G.F.C.R.C)

4 December 2010

ATTN: MR MALCOLM REYNOLDS,
I AM DR KOJO BLANKSON, DIRECTOR OF INTERNATIONAL DEPARTMENT, GHANA CIVIL AVAITION AUTHORITY. RECENT AUDIT FROM OUR WAREHOUSE REVEALED THAT YOUR CONSIGNMENT WAS AMONG THOSE THAT HAS NOT BEEN DELIVER OR RETURNED BACK DUE TO LOGISTICS PROBLEMS. SINCE WE ARE GETTING TO THE END OF THE YEAR, I DECIDED TO CONTACT ON THIS ISSUE. PLEASE DO ENDEVOUR TO GET BACK TO ME FOR FURTHER DIRECTIVES ON THE MODALITIES OF GETTING IT ACROSS TO YOU
SINCERELY,
DR KOJO.

Dr Blanskon
What consignment is this?
Malcolm Reynolds

Chat with Jolly Kamys
Lad: hello are you there
Mal: Yes.
Lad: so what is stoping you from the payment
Mal: Nothing.
Lad: no money
Mal: Oh, I've got plenty of that.
Lad: Mr Reynolds,i will like to meet with you and have a hand shake as soon as i could able to clear your four consignment boxes
Mal: Fine, but you ducked the issue of how you were feeding me some crap about the airport authority and the procurement officer.
Lad: yes the procurement officer really needed you to make the payment ,its only this will assure him that you are the real owner of the four consignmenr
Mal: And... how is that proved by a payment slip? Also, I'm not the owner. I'm the custodian. It's still the UN's cash.
Lad: yes a payment slip that is made by you,with aid of the payment slip the united nations delivery permit can now be procured in your own name,because its you that i am coming to deliver to,In respect of the united nations commission,they own not the consignment boxes,they are assisting a consignment boxes of this nature because of the diplomatic relationship which the united nations have with the world
Mal: Did you read what I just wrote?
Lad: i read
Lad: buy for now,if you are ready i will know,
Mal: So you should understand that there's no need for my name to be on any gorram slip.
Lad: then use some one els to make the payment to Chicago ohare,HERE is the receiver name,LAMAR BOYD
Mal: Except by your rules that would mess things up. It should be your name on the slip.
Mal: Actually that makes sense. You settle up and all's good.

5 December 2010

Attn,
Mr.Malcolm Reynolds,
Sorry i cant continue with this process anymore regarding your fake slip you send,i will advice you to call me when you are ready to receive your boxes here in Ghana and my number is
+233267729551.
Regard,
Gen.Dominic Kabila.

General Kabila,
Who the hell do you think you are, accusing me of sending a fake slip? Is this some stupid gorram shakedown you're playing? Either apologise or this deal is over.
Malcolm Reynolds

Chat with Jolly Kamys
Lad: hello
Mal: Yes?
Lad: Mr Reynolds how is the day
Mal: Fine.
Lad: i was expecting the payment information from you, but i didnt see non,why you didnt send the money,in order for the permit to be procured
Mal: Do you have ADD or something?
Lad: what do you mean by add
Mal: Attention Deficit Disorder.
Lad: why is the add needed, please tell me
Mal: What do you mean "needed"?
Lad: Attention Deficit Disorder.why is the words mentioned
Mal: I asked if you had it. It sounds like it.
Lad: Mr Reynolds,I am not pleased with the way you handle issue like this ,you are supposed to take this clearance of your four consignment boxes personal,not me reminding you,
Mal: I shouldn't have to remind you of what I wrote yesterday.
Lad: you should have remind me because i may have forgotten
Mal: ADD, like I said.
Mal: "It should be your name on the slip. Actually that makes sense. You settle up and all's good."
Lad: then you will have to come up with money,
Mal: When the boxes arrive, yes.
Lad: are you going to send the money today
so that i can give you the receiver name
Mal: Did you read what I just sent?
Lad: Mr Reynolds,its like you want the four consignment boxes to be confiscated,i gat to go,bye
Mal: You are a total waste of oxygen.

7 December 2010

Mr.Malcolm Reynolds,
I have nothing to lose if you say so cause i have try to make things go smooth so that you can receive this boxes,which i don't understand the way you do things cause i have ask for your phone number for easy communication up till this hour nothing,remember i once told you that i am going to carry out an investigation which i did and also send my safes to west union head office to see if the money was pick from here in Ghana and they said nothing of such that they don't have such transaction in there data/base remittance system ,so what do you expect me to say?sorry if my words has offended you, is just that i don't know what to think regarding this issue of yours cause i have done my job,which i am waiting to hear from you so that my diplomat can live for Australia.
I presently advice you to get back to me as soon as possible to enable us put heads together to see how i can get this documents done to permit the committee Diplomat deliver your boxes to you in your required destination.
Await your urgent respond and your phone number for easy communication.
Regards,
Gen Kabila.

Mr. Malcolm Reynolds,
I write to remind you that i am still waiting to hear from you,if you still want this boxes to be delivered to you,but if not than i will act as protocol demands.
Await your urgent respond cause our time frame in delivery this boxes to you is now limited.
Gen. Kabila.

General Kabila,
Mr Kamys has told me that the UN no longer requires me as custodian of these funds. Sadly, that's his decision, and it's final. He'll be in touch presently.
Malcolm Reynolds

ATTN: MR MALCOLM REYNOLDS,
I HAVE PERSONALLY SCANNED THE BOXES AND SEE THAT IT CONTAINS US DOLLARS AMOUNTING TO MILLIONS. THIS IS A VERY SENSITIVE ISSUE, THAT IS WHY I AM CONTACTING YOU. PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU WISH TO DO, TO ENABLE THE AUDITORS THE TAKE STOCK.
SINCERELY,
DR KOJO BLANKSON.

Dr Blankson,
What are you doing with the funds? Mr Wilson was in charge of the transfer,
Malcolm Reynolds

Next up; the final phase - and a sad farewell to Jolly Kamys.

Posted: Wed Sep 11, 2019 4:29 am

It's the end game now as Lads wind down, even the hitherto indefatigable Jolly Kamys...

8 December 2010

Mr.Malcolm Reynolds,
Let me be really frank with you i am fed up with this issue of yours and presently i have nothing to say to you now accept make the payment for the documentation of your consignment cargo to the name UDEH CHUWKUMA,if you are still interested in them and get back to me with mtcn number,because i have nothing to do with Kamys what ever his name may be or any other body because they are all filled of lies just to make money from beneficiary like you.
Think about it and get back to me bcause your time frame in get this boxes is limited.
Regards,
Gen Kabila.

General Kabila,
So your solution to my being ripped off thanks to your abyssmal IT security is to send more money when I don't have to.
How the Sam Frick did you ever get above buck private?
Malcolm Reynolds

ATTN;MR MALCOLM REYNOLDS,
PLEASE GO THROUGH MY FIRST MAIL TO YOU. I MADE YOU UNDERSTAND THE CIRCUMSTANCES UNDER WHICH YOUR FUNDS WAS HERE IN OUR WAREHOUSE. I DON'T KNOW ANY WILSON, AND WOULD NOT WANT TO JEOPARDISED MY POSITION BECAUSE I AM TRYING TO ASSIST YOU. DO NOT UNDER ANY CONDITION REFER ANYONE TO MEET WITH ME OK. I DEAL WITH YOU DIRECTLY, IF YOU STILL INTERESTED IN GETTING YOUR FUNDS. NOTE THAT I WAS SUPPOSED TO DIRECT THESE FUNDS TO OUR GOVERNMENT COFFERS AND NOT AIDDING YOU TO GET IT. HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND MY POSITION ON THIS MATTER.
SINCERELY,
DR KOJO.

Dr Blankson,
You're not supposed to help anyone steal from the UN, even your own government! Those funds are for relief. Are you telling me that you didn't know that?
Malcolm Reynolds

ATTN; MR MALCOLM REYNOLDS,
THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I AM TELLING YOU. I SAID, I AM SUPPOSED TO INFORM YOU, THAT IS THE REGULATION AND NOT ASSIST YOU.IT FROM YOUR FINAL DECISION THAT, I CAN TAKE MINE.I DO NOT KNOW THE SOURCE OF THE FUNDS
OK.
SINCERELY,
DR KOJO BLANKSON.

Dr Blankson,
You've lost me totally.
Malcolm Reynolds

9 December 2010

ATTN: MR REYNOLDS,
I THINK YOU SHOULD FIGURE IT OUT YOURSELF. YOU SAID THE SOURCE OF FUND IS U.N. AND YOUR NAME IS ON IT OKAY. THAT MEANS, I HAVE TO RETURN THE FUNDS TO U.N OFFICE HERE IN GHANA, IS THAT WHAT YOU ARE TELLING ME, BECAUSE YOU SAID I AM NOT SUPPOSED TO BE ASSISTING YOU RECOVERING ANY FUND FROM YOUR PREVIOUS MAIL.
YOU DID NOT UNDERSTAND MY MAIL TO YOU. I SAID, YOU HAVE TO TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT TO DO NOW, BEFORE THE AUTHORITIES WILL THINK ,I AM AIDDING YOU TO GET YOUR FUNDS BACK. NOTE THAT I SEPERATED YOUR CONSIGNMENT SO THAT THE AUDITOR WILL NOT ADD IT TO THE STOCKS THEY ARE TAKING RIGHT NOW AT OUR WAREHOUSE, AND YOUR RESPONSE AS TO WHAT YOU WANT TO DO WITH IT IS SLOW AND THEY ARE ASKING QUESTIONS.
I HAD TO BE PRINTING OUR COMMUNICATION TO THEM. IF YOU TELL ME WHAT YOU HAVE DECIDED NOW, THEN I WILL HAVE TO PRINT IT TO THEM AGAIN, SO
IT IS UP TO YOU.
SINCERELY,
DR KOJO BLANKSON.

Dr Blankson,
Why are you afraid of questions? Have you got something to hide?
Malcolm Reynolds

10 December 2010

ATTN: MR REYNOLDS,
THANKS FOR YOUR MAIL. THEY ARE AUDITORS AND HOW DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY THEM, I DO NOT KNOW THE ORIGIN OF THE FUNDS, WHY THE FUNDS ARE IN OUR WAREHOUSE, OTHER THAN, CONISGNMENT THAT WAS IN "CRISIS" OR OTHERWISE.
WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY? IF YOU ARE IN MY SHOES. TELL ME. WHAT WILL YOU TELL THEM.IF I HAVE NOT TO TELL THEM, THEN THE QUESTION IS WHY DO I HAVE TO PUT YOUR CONSIGNMENT ASIDE AND WILL NOT ALLOW THEM TO TAKE STOCK OF IT. THIS SI THE QUESTIONS THEY ARE ASKING, SO TELL ME.
SINCERELY,
DR KOJO BLANKSON.

Dr Blankson,
I suggest that you tell those gorram auditors the truth - that thise boxes aint yours, and to contact Mr Wilson about them. I've cc'd him on this.
I don'r know why or how you got involved in this.
Malcolm Reynolds

11 December 2010

ATTN: MR REYNOLDS,
YOU SHOULD ASK YOURSELF OUR THOSE BOXES GET TO OUR WAREHOUSE. I DID NOT TELL YOU THAT THE BOXES ARE MINE, OK? POINT OF CORRECTION. WHO IS MR WILSON? THE AUDITORS HAVE SEEN YOUR MAIL. AND THEY HAVE TAKEN THEIR DECISION. DO NOT EVEN BOTHER YOURSELF.
DR KOJO BLANKSON.

Dr Blankson,
It's clear to me that you are totally clueless and useless.
At least Mr Wilson makes sense.
Malcolm Reynolds

IT IS YOUR FATHER AND YOUR MOTHER THAT IS TOTALLY CUELESS AND USELESS, YOU AN IDOIT. YOU ARE JSUT ANOTHER BIG FOOL, THAT DOES NOT KNOW IT RIGHT FROM IT LEFT.

Well, you've proved Mr Wilson 100% right - you are no gorram doctor. You're a gorram moron. No way that you're genuine.

13 December 2010

WORK WITH YOUR MR WILSON AND DIE WITH HIM

Are you threatening me, asshole?

AM NOT THREATENING YOU. DIE WITH MR WILSON. YOU WILL COME BACK TO ME ONE DAY. LET US WATCH AND SEE

Why the Sam Frick would I want to have anything to do with a loud mouth jerkwad like you?

5 February 2011

Chat with Jolly Kamys
Mal: Hey there,, how's it going?
Lad: its going fine
Mal: O RLY?
Lad: now your two consignment boxes has been confiscated
Mal: I thought you'd say that.
Lad: exactly, and if you want us to revive it ,,that will be another cost for you, and also an incovinience for me also
Mal: I thought there'd be more money. There always is.
Lad: no this form is very easy to get the four boxes revived
it will cost just the sum of $300usd
Lad: hello are you there
Mal: Yes.
Lad: so how are you going to make sure we get the boxes cleared
Mal: About three months ago you had the boxes returned to the UN. I don't know what you could do with them now.
Lad: they are in the safe hand of the Ohare airport security company, for that you dont have to fear every thing is intact
Mal: You might want to know that I know that you're a fraud.
Lad: okay thank you for knowing that i am a fraud

I was expecting him to ask why I knew that, but he didn't bother, and with that, the bait came quietly to an end.

Thanks for reading.

Posted: Wed Sep 11, 2019 10:54 pm

A jolly good read but not much fun for poor old Jolly. You plain wore him out Very Happy