"Hello beautiful" - Cammy's new Lad

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Posted: Mon Jul 08, 2019 9:44 am

Cammy replied to the P-Log email asking if Kevin had picked up the parcel. The question here is - could he have made it to Parakou and back in two days, as he seems to be claiming? And which Customs actually beat him up?

I'm wondering what Kevin's plan is now - trying to get Cammy to pay for his treatment is one possibility.

Posted: Mon Jul 08, 2019 10:53 am

^^^ LOL!

- Cammy to PLog (Akwoodi):

Quote:

Mr Osuaze

Thank you for that. It's Ms White, BTW.

Just so I'm sure about this - did Kevin Smith actually collect the package?

Cammy White

- Akwoodi responds to Cammy (Kevin is in CC, of course).

Quote:

Miss White, hello!
The parcel of Mr. Smith is currently in Parakou, in the custody of the PLog central regional warehouse. Mr. Smith did NOT contact anyone here, he did NOT answer my message and NO, he did NOT collect anything! I am the Regional Manager and all the deliveries in Benin are done in my subordination. Mr. Smith requested that his delivery be made in Benin, and he made also an official request. I attach the Request Letter written by him and that is in our possession together with the whole set of additional documents. If you can get in touch with him, please tell him to contact me for details about the delivery arrangements. Akwoodi

===

Posted: Mon Jul 08, 2019 3:01 pm

Damn it. I shouldn't have opened chat. I got into character, and the result was... see for yourself.

I did go to Benin only for some group of hoodlums to beat me up
So it wasn't the Customs?
I know the customs when they come...
It was almost as if they knew I was coming
Wait. Hoodlums or Customs?
Which was it?
Hoodlums...
So what's the thing about Customs knowing you were coming?
Also, "I was coming"? What about your buddy?
It wasn't the customs!!! Customs do have their own problems
Buddy went, he was the one who saved me... He's father is a retired military man, so he helped
So what were the problems with Customs?
And whose customs?
Again it wasn't customs... It was hoodlums before the customs
So you went into Benin, and there were hoodlums waiting for you.
Yes/No?
Yes/No?
Please answer.
Are you going to answer???
YES!!
Thanks to my buddy that called his father...
Would have been a lot worse than it is
Now I'm wondering if you actually sent it or not
Even for the fact that they assured me that it will be in Benin... The only way I can get it is when you talk to them about them bringing it to Nigeria; maybe not my house, but I'll give them a precise location I'll be in... That way, I'll be able to go with my buddy and with some of his father's troops
Fuck you.
"Now I'm wondering if you actually sent it or not"
All the trouble I went to, and you don't believe me.
And you got beaten up the moment you arrived in Benin, so you said.
Trouble????!!! I WENT THROUGH SERIES OF BEATING AND YET YOU DONT EXPECT ME TO HAVE SUCH DOUBT!!!
Went to their depot
YOU KNOW WHO'S RESPONSIBLE FOR THAT?
MISTER COULDN'T KEEP HIS FUCKING MOUTH SHUT!!!!
If you can be able to talk to them, then I'll be more willing to go get the package in Nigeria
MISTER BLABBERMOUTH!
Kept it a secret since the day you plan to send it via courier service
Oh, right, now you're saying that you went to the depot and got beaten up, huh?
Of course, that was where we planned to meet
You were talking to people about the package all the time. That's what you told me.
Seeking advice, not that I told them you were sending it...
And how did you did get to the depot They hadn't told you where it is.
Look, no more arguments... When you talk to them about them bringing it to Nigeria, then we can continue
Tracking number... Remember??
I had it tracking all along
You're lying to me.
So I'm not stupid
They also told me where exactly the depot was in Benin, so I asked around and was fortunate enough to get there and get my ass beaten!!
Those tracking numbers aren't that accurate. It isn't military-grade GPS.
And who said so?? How come they were giving me update as to where the package was???
So was I being tricked or what?!!!
I said it before, I'll say it again.
Fuck you.
If you think this was all some fucking game, then I'm done.
Totally.
Go ahead... So I just went all the way To Benin to get my ass beaten!!! Suit yourself
Fuck you.
Goodbye.
Fuck you more
You're a virgin. You don't know how.
Missed call from kelvin
2 mins
Do you have such a fucking huge ego, that you think people would go to the trouble of pranking you?
Missed call from kelvin
1 min
You contacted me. You started all this.
Remember that.
So now its my fault???!!!
I wanted to help you.
Remember, only one pic you sent
I sent many of mine
You want me to believe you???
And you threw it away.
And willing to take the risk of going back to Benin??
And that's why you can't have nice things.
Then pick the call... Even if it's one minute
Help me??? By sending me to a place for my ass to get beaten up by some fucking hoodlums!!!
One, I couldn't hear you. Two, I disabled the camera.
And I didn't know about those hoodlums. I'm not fucking SPECTRE.
Ok let's voice call then
And you ain't James Bond.
I couldn't hear you.
Or did you forget that?
It's not possible for you to disable your camera EXCEPT
Now seems to me you're the one lying
Okay how about the back camera??? Did you disable that as well???
You're a self-centred, self-pitying, whining little wussbag.
Are you trying to escape the video chat... If I was self centered, why will I then take the stress of going to that fucking country to get my ass whooped???!!! Ever thought of that???
Trying to throw everything back on me. Trying to redefine things so that you're the victim of some evil conspiracy.
You're a fucking paranoid psychopath.
I warned you not to send it via courier service... It was almost as if I saw this entire thing coming
Now it has surfaced
Happy??
I can't believe anything you tell me.
Then fuck out!!?
I'm disappointed.
Don't have time for all this shit anymore
I thought for once I got everything settled with you
You're a waste of time. A loser. A nothing. A hopeless fool.
How about you send another picture of yourself again
Get out of my life.

Sorry folks. When I get into character, I act it totally. Cammy got angry.

(Edited to add italics)

Posted: Mon Jul 08, 2019 3:23 pm

^^^ LOL!

Certainly this idiot thought the package would be in Cotonou. He does not know where the town of Parakou is.
When he studied the map and saw how far he has to travel, he invented the story of the hooligans.
Cammy has to say: "You are a pathetic liar, who stayed home and invented fucking stories. Look at these messages from the Benin manager!"

Laughing

Posted: Mon Jul 08, 2019 3:26 pm

I like angry cammy. It's so nice to curse at lads

Posted: Tue Jul 09, 2019 12:14 am

Kevin added something after Cammy left:

Alaye na you know
You no wan reply abi you dey fear

Cammy won't break contact for a while; she'll tell how she's had the package returned (with costs waived) and I guess a taunt about his height won't go astray. Also, she won't send more pix because he'll just wank over them and that's just pathetic really.

Posted: Tue Jul 09, 2019 5:27 am

Tuesday

06.15 - Our dear Kevin still don't want to communicate with Akwoodi, so I'm trying another approach... I tell Cammy everything the idiot has to hear... he's in CC, Laughing

Quote:

Dear miss White, I have not yet received any message from the Receiver (Mr. Smith) indicated on the documents accompanying the parcel. The takeover's deadline for this parcel is July 29, after which the abandonment provisions apply: the package content is shared between the local delivery team members. 2 days before the deadline, we will send a warning message to you and the Receiver. If you ask for the return of the package back to Australia and if you pay all the costs associated with this operation, then the parcel will be boarded and shipped. If you refuse to pay for repatriation, "abandonment" becomes effective. I expect Mr. Smith to contact me to arrange delivery of the parcel in Benin wherever he wants. We deliver in all major beninoise cities and our drivers are trained for this type of situation. Akwoodi

===

- If we bring him to Cotonou for 2-3 days, I think we can consider everything a great success.
- After the parcel will be stolen by my driver JooJoo, Cammy decides to visit Africa and chooses as a vacation destination a gorgeous national park in Cameroon. Laughing

Our dear Kevin constantly receives "brief-info" messages from the PLog servers:

Quote:

UPDATE: The parcel # TRK927911*** is ready for delivery.

The PLog Team

He's still logging on PLog webpage and tracking his parcel... Laughing

===

Posted: Tue Jul 09, 2019 10:30 am

Cammy replied to Akwoodi and Kevin, and she wasn't happy.

Quote:

How much is it going to cost for this "repatriation"? I already paid several thousand of dollars to send it! And good luck with getting [Mr Smith] to come and collect it, he thinks he'll get beaten up.

Mr Mystery and I conferred on what to do next, including a package chop (a pick-up by someone impersonating Kevin, or a violent hijack) and possibly a customer satisfaction survey at some point.

Posted: Tue Jul 09, 2019 10:58 am

^^^ Let's try first the "easy Safari" option.
Let's get our idiot in Cotonou.
There we can steal the parcel.
Laughing

11.55 - Akwoodi responds to Cammy (Kevin is in CC):

Quote:

Miss White, I hope this is a joke, yeah? I do not understand what it is about, because Mr. Smith has not contacted me until now. So, what's the point in your message? If Mr. Smith prefers, we can arrange for delivery to be made in Cotonou, in any public place where our customer desires. The success lies in communication, but Mr. Smith does not communicate at all.
Regarding your second question, a summary total costs for "repatriation" can be:
Shipping costs = $2,875 / Insurance costs = $4,250 / Storage and Handling costs = $1,250 / Additional costs = $750.
Total costs (without VAT and any local taxes) = $9,125.
Local taxes (VAT 19%) are paid at destination, so add another $1,734.
TOTAL AMOUNT = $10,860.
I hope everything is clear now. Akwoodi

===

12.54 - Cammy to Akwoodi (Kevin is in CC):

Quote:

Mr Osuaze

Add those costs up and I'll have spent nearly as much as the package is worth! I'm going to check that with Mr Postumierre, just so you know. As for what Kevin Smith said, I'll quote him: "They also told me where exactly the depot was in Benin, so I asked around and was fortunate enough to get there and get my ass beaten!!" Seriously.

Camille

14.30 - Akwoodi's reply (to all, of course). Laughing

Quote:

Miss White, your friend NEVER talked to me! I sent messages to him, but he did NOT ANSWER! I do not know what to think about him, because my colleague in Cameroon had only good words of appreciation. Probably your friend is being drugged. If you want to convince yourself that he is lying, ask him what is the address of our central warehouse in Parakou. He claims he was there, so it's easy to prove who is telling the truth. Right? I will communicate that address in a private message to you, so that you can compare everything. Frankly, I think your friend is lying and I do not understand his real reason. It was enough to communicate with me and to ask to deliver his parcel in Cotonou (the most important city in Benin and very close to Lagos). My duty is to deliver and I try to do everything in such a way that my clients are satisfied. My team's monthly cash bonuses depend entirely on what customers thinks about our work, so we do everything for customers to be very satisfied. Akwoodi

We will see if our idiot will "bite". Laughing

Posted: Wed Jul 10, 2019 6:39 am

Wednesday

07.30 - Nothing in my Inboxes, so manager Qesha (from Cameroon) writes to our boy:

Quote:

Sabah el Kheir, mister Smith!
Are you ok, everything is good with you and your family? I just had a strange conversation with my old friend Akwoodi and he claims that you did not contact him at all and that you said you were already in Benin and you were beaten. It's real, or he joke with me? Akwoodi thinks everything could be just a prank, but he still does not understand why you're not going to take the parcel.

As Salamu Alaykum!
Qesha

Posted: Wed Jul 10, 2019 7:48 am

If he doesn't bite soon, I say go for the parcel chop. Cammy can write to Kevin to say that since he's got the package, they can coordinate on her arrival, and see what happens.

Posted: Wed Jul 10, 2019 8:06 am

^^^ Yeap, sure... if the boy does not answer today, then we can go to the dolla-chop operation starting tomorrow (Thursday).

Posted: Wed Jul 10, 2019 12:08 pm

Cammy sent this to Kevin at 2055 AEST - it can fit any scenario.

Quote:

I said a whole lot of bad things and I don't know how much of it was because I had taken more Tegretol than I should. I don't want this to end badly. What can we do?

Kevin said that his other email account had been hacked; true or not, it could happen to his current one, with the inevitable result, making the upcoming chop even easier.

Posted: Wed Jul 10, 2019 12:16 pm

^^^ Yep, obviously! Laughing

But, in reality, what's his problem? The package is very accessible for him (in Cotonou) and the manager of Benin PLog branch is a very friendly man. So?

Posted: Thu Jul 11, 2019 6:46 am

Yastreb wrote:

If he doesn't bite soon, I say go for the parcel chop. Cammy can write to Kevin to say that since he's got the package, they can coordinate on her arrival, and see what happens.

Well, unfortunately our idiot has remained silent so I think it is the right time for "the parcel-chop" twist.

Posted: Thu Jul 11, 2019 7:16 am

^ I say go for it, Birlic, Kevin deserves it. And if the chop unfolds over Freyja-day, Cammy won't know about it until Saturday.

Posted: Thu Jul 11, 2019 7:30 am

^^^ OK. let's do it!

- The manager of Benin branch (Akwoodi) will send a message to Cammy (with the idiot in CC) confirming that "Mister Smith" will come to Cotonou today to take over the parcel.
- Everything is already arranged and the meeting will be in the Place de l'Etoile Rouge at 14.00.
- In the afternoon, manager Akwoodi will send another message stating that "Everything went perfectly, Mr. Smith took over his parcel and he signed the reception document."

08.35 - Akwoodi to Cammy (Kevin in CC):

Quote:

Miss White, I'm pleased to let you know that your friend Smith Kevin has confirmed his presence in Cotonou today, at 14.00. The handing over of the parcel will be, as mister Smith wanted, in the Place de l'Etoile Rouge (a very large and well-known place in Cotonou). I'm glad everything has worked out well and I will return to you with confirmation of receipt in the afternoon. Akwoodi

===

09.41 - Yastreb, it seems your lad is alive. He writes to manager Akwoodi. Laughing

Quote:

Are you stupid or something when did you see me in Cotonou...... You must be crazy

===

Posted: Thu Jul 11, 2019 10:01 am

Just six minutes after receiving Akwoodi's message, I got this from Kevin:

Quote:

Don't believe whatever they tell you

What a shame Cammy is taking things easy and staying offline, so that she'll be OK for Freyja-day...

Posted: Thu Jul 11, 2019 11:19 am

12.15 - Benin manager (Akwoodi) responds to the last message of idiot:

Quote:

You moron, you have to know that miss White already told me that your email account (this one) was compromised and penetrated by hackers, so obviously you're just an thief and an impostor trying to steal Mr. Smith's parcel. I'm in touch with the real Mr. Smith and I'll make the parcel delivery today in less than 2 hours, in the place established with the real customer Smith Kevin. Please do not write any more because I will not be fooled by you. Akwudi

It is obvious that the manager will deliver the parcel of a person who claims to be "the real" Kevin Twisted Evil

... I think this will make our idiot explode by anger. Laughing

===

12.35 - More fun with the moron... he wrote to Akwoodi:

Quote:

Lol......you're just fooling yourself

Directly from the PLog servers, an automatically reply. Laughing

Quote:

Your message was rejected from the PLog mail server.
Your email address was blocked on the PLog mail server.
Try another email address.

I'm sure he'll be very pleased. Laughing

===

16.00 - Just for our fun... Akwoodi writes to Cammy (Kevin is in CC, of course):

Quote:

Miss White,
The delivery was made according to the previous schedule. The parcel was handed over to your friend Smith Kelvin, who was identified with photos previously sent. He said he wants to take a short vacation and will contact you later to thank you for everything you sent him. He is a very special, elegant, courteous and polite man. I wish you a very nice evening! Akwoodi

Posted: Fri Jul 12, 2019 11:01 pm

Cammy replied to both Akwoodi and Kevin.

Quote:

Cool bananas! He must have seen sense at last. Better late than never, huh?

She then dropped this titbit into Hangouts.

Quote:

Hey, I'm glad you finally got around to collecting the package (must have been something I said!), but what's the deal with the "short vacation"? Practice for when I arrive?

She'll be out and about for the rest of the day. Kevin may have some words for her when she gets back.

Posted: Sat Jul 13, 2019 2:30 pm

Kevin, 0857 AEST, 13 July:

Quote:

Do not fucking piss me off.......if i had collected the package won't you be first to know
Besides you didn't want to talk to me until now

Kevin 1105 AEST:

Quote:

FUCK YOU

Cammy was puzzled.

Quote:

OK, maybe I shouldn't have dissed you in the email to [P-LOG], but seriously dewd, it wasn't so bad you had to blow a sandshoe. Write to me again when you've got your head together.

Kevin, 1314 AEST:

Quote:

I didn't get any package.... Don't you dear get me upset

Cammy was even more puzzled (email).

Quote:

What the fuck? You get a small fortune in goods and cash and you tell me to prove I'm real? What is going on inside your head?

And on Hangouts.

Quote:

You picked it up from PITH. Why are you lying to me? And you're not the Incredible Hulk!

Posted: Sun Jul 14, 2019 9:09 am

Sunday 14 July - we resume our saga.

0241 AEST, Kevin on email:

Quote:

I said I didn't get any package

0242 AEST, Kevin on hangouts:

Quote:

What do you want from me....just say the truth and stop pretending

1509 AEST, Cammy responds.

Quote:

P-Log says you collected it.

Quote:

I want the truth from you.

Kevin needs to hear from the chopper at some point. I think he'd also welcome a customer satisfaction questionnaire.

Posted: Sun Jul 14, 2019 10:07 am

^^^ LOL!

11.04 - Claude (Customer Care Manager) writes to Cammy and Kevin:

Quote:

Dear miss White, dear mister Smith,
We try to keep our services at the highest level and we are always trying to improve the quality of our services.
I hope you are happy with our business. Please fill in and send back the attached form.
Based on your comments, the local delivery team will receive their monthly financial bonuses.

Thank you for using P-Log, the finest in 5-Star Customer Service!
Claude

===

Maybe, tomorrow, the idiot will also receive a message from the one who took the parcel?
Yastreb, do you have any preference? Or do you want to use "my" Umukelani (the bandit)?

Posted: Sun Jul 14, 2019 1:06 pm

^ Umukelani would be just fine.

Posted: Sun Jul 14, 2019 7:21 pm

20.00 - Umukelaani (the bandit) writes to our dear Kevin:

Quote:

LITTEL PIKIN AM LOOK WID MA FRENS TO YUR PITURES AN WE ALL LAUGHH HARD
IN THAT COMPUTA AM FOUND LOT OF PITURES YOU NAKED OOOOOHHH
YU AR HOMOSEXUALIST GAY BOY AN AM THINK MA FREN JUMANJI WANNA MAKE YU HIZ WAIFE
IF YU ACCEPTE TO SUCK US AM WILK BUY YU UNA NICE YELOW DRESS OOOOOOHHHHH
FOOOL YU ARE AM DA MAN WHOO TAK YUR PARSEL IN COTONU
IN DA PARSEL AM FOUND UNA FORTUNE TENS THOUZAND DOLLA OOOOOHHHH
AM THINK YUR MAMA IZ NOW ON DA STREET PROSTITUTE AN YU CRY LIK A BABY CHIMP

I'm so sure he will be delighted to read the text. Laughing

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