Ghosts and Zombinis (Spoilers for The Sixth Sense)

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Posted: Mon May 20, 2019 3:17 pm

My first ever long-term lad, Tom, will probably twig any day now. With that in mind, I decided to have a little fun with a different lad last night. This lad sent me an email asking if I was dead or alive. Have recently seen The Sixth Sense, here's how I responded (My character's name has been altered slightly to avoid the lad discovering the movie character or this thread):

Sir,

I regret to inform you that I am deceased. I hope my recent death will not be a hindrance to our business.

Sincerely,
Dr. Malcom Crow

I thought there was no way the lad would bite, but I just received this gem in my inbox 30 minutes ago:

So how do we proceed on this?? Yu need to apply and obtain a sworn
affidavit from a competent court of law here.
Get back.

Posted: Mon May 20, 2019 3:31 pm

He did not read the message from you.
Your answer = you are active = he continued with the script.

Posted: Mon May 20, 2019 11:59 pm

So bait him from the 'other side'. Wink

This opens a whole realm of reasons for delays.
*Your ISP keeps canceling your account because you're dead.
*You missed your embalming appointment, and you were so stiff it took you three days to walk home.
*You have trouble typing the email because... well... you're dead!

Posted: Tue May 21, 2019 2:21 am

*You have to immediately go out and buy a new thermostat as your a/c cannot be set lower than 65 degrees F or 18 degrees PF degrees. You need to be kept at 3 degrees PF degrees.

*You are not able to drive to the WU because your insurance has been canceled... because you're dead.

*Your phone will no longer unlock using facial recognition...because you're dead.

*You have to constantly get up from the computer to turn on the lights because the occupancy detectors cannot detect you...because you're dead.

Posted: Tue May 21, 2019 2:59 pm

Sir,

Good morning (is it morning?) I slept like a dead man last night, and I am so stiff! That morning rigor mortis really does a number on the old joints!
Anyways, about your mail, I am interested in proceeding. How do you usually deal with deceased clients?

Sincerely,
Dr. Malcom Crow

The lad responds:

You amused me. Funny you !!!

Based on the mail, you can only get your fund released if ou apply
and obtain the sworn affidavit from a competent court of law here.
that is all.

It appears I got the lad to move just the teeniest tiniest bit off script to reply! What he doesn't know is that Dr. Crow is dead serious Wink

Posted: Tue May 21, 2019 4:33 pm

I baited as a corpse once for some weeks.... See if he will pursue communication with you via ouija board

Posted: Wed May 29, 2019 2:44 pm

About a week ago I sent the lad this:

Sir,

Please know that I am dead serious about completing this transaction. How should I go about obtaining a sworn affidavit? Do I need to go to my local courthouse? I have a full schedule this week (tuxedo fitting, hair and makeup appointments, jaw wiring, etc.) A man has to look his very best, you know! Nevertheless, tell me what needs to be done, and I will do it.

Sincerely,
Dr. Malcom Crow

I thought that was the end of it, but got this this morning:

The affidavit can only be obtained from here in Benin Republic.
You will come over here and go forit. OR, You will send the cost of
the affidavit to this side, so that our protocol officer will go for
you.

So which one are you ready to do??? Do you know the cost of the affidavit??

Posted: Wed May 29, 2019 2:50 pm

they only saw " tell me what to do and I'll do it"

Posted: Fri May 31, 2019 5:13 pm

Yesterday I sent the lad this:

Sir,
You went dead quiet for a couple of days! I was getting concerned. I don't know the cost of the affidavit. As for how to get it I'd be happy to come over to Benin Republic or meet you or a representative somewhere, although I'll have to get a new passport, as mine has been cancelled following my death. I could try to send money, but I'm afraid that may not work. The local money transfer offices here have really been cracking down on the use of the personal information of deceased individuals in transactions.

I apologize for my delayed response. Funeral planning is in progress, and I was away yesterday getting affairs in order. I'm trying to decide between oak and mahogany for the casket. Perhaps you could chime in here, sir. Do you have any ideas for what wood makes the best casket or coffin?

Anyways, please let me know where and when we can meet to obtain this affidavit.

Sincerely,

Dr. Malcom Crow

Today the lad responded:
You can only obtain the affidavit here in Benin Republic. But for time
constraints, it could be adviced that you make the payment via bank
account.
The cost is 890usd. So should i forward to you the account details
where the 890usd will be deposited?/

I smell a piggy! Smile

Since he seems so willing to give one up, I'm not planning on stopping him. However, if anyone has any advice on problems a dead man may face when making a bank transfer, suggestions are welcome!

Posted: Sat Jun 01, 2019 5:35 pm

Sir,

Please send over the bank details and I will do my best to assist you. Thank you for considering a man in my condition for this business. Perhaps you could offer me some advice on which wood makes the best casket as I requested in my previous email? You seem to be a very intelligent fellow, so perhaps you have some good insight here. I need to go scope out a decent resting place now, so I will speak with you soon.

Sincerely,

Dr. Malcom Crow

Well, that was easy! The lad sends a piggy for me, along with this message:

Sir, I have no insight over and about any thing wood.

Let me have the payment slip scan copy. Laughing

Posted: Wed Jun 05, 2019 2:24 pm

I let the lad sweat for a few days waiting for the transfer. The afterlife is a busy life, after all! Yesterday, I sent him this:

Sir,

I apologize for the late reply. Yesterday was a busy day. Before I went to the bank, I had to go through my closet to decide what to wear for my upcoming viewing ceremony. I am debating between my formal black suit or going for a more casual look with my favorite shirt and blue jeans. What do you think?

As for our business, I went to the bank yesterday, and they told me they would be happy to transfer the funds. However, they said they are having trouble transferring the money to that account. Could you please provide another one? I had to go through quite the ordeal of opening another bank account. My old one was closed after the accident.

Sincerely,
Dr. Malcom Crow

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