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Posted: Mon May 06, 2019 7:51 am

I've got a lad(ette) trying to get me to adopt their child. At first I thought this might actually be genuine but it's the same old nonsense of "please contact my layer" who then furnished me with a crap form to fill in with usual request of "State ID or Passport".
Any suggestions on how to go with this one as it's a new format to me.

Posted: Mon May 06, 2019 8:28 am

I would imagine that the adoption requires some fee that has to be paid in advance.

I'd just play along to see where it leads?

Posted: Mon May 06, 2019 10:21 am

Jimlad wrote:

I've got a lad(ette) trying to get me to adopt their child. ...
Any suggestions on how to go with this one as it's a new format to me.

I would try the following:
- Of course you can not adopt the baby, because you work with long journeys and you can not take care of the child properly... maybe you are a sailor, or you work on a petroleum platform, etc.
- Of course, you want to help her (the ladette)... the parish where you are an parishioner is involved in such social and charitable projects.
- So, it's about a package full of electronic products: phones, laptops, etc... of course, an envelope with a cash (let say 20,000 USD?) will also be included in the package.

We all know that these parcels usually arrive in another country... your idiot will have to travel, if he wants to take possession of the valuable package. Laughing

Posted: Mon May 06, 2019 11:33 am

I know just the shipping company for this :p

Baiting Guru Joined: 25 Jul 2017 Posts: 2107

For a moment when I saw "shipping company" I thought you were going to have an adopted child shipped to you! The mind quickly went to a small child in a package waiting in a warehouse somewhere hoping JooJoo didn't abscond with the package again! LOL
Then I read the rest of the message.

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Mar 2015 Posts: 1916

^LOL

Posted: Tue May 07, 2019 2:27 am

Perhaps there is an exclusive all-[child's gender] school in a country neighboring the lad's. Since you are single, you cannot take on the responsibility of raising a child. But you would be willing to pay the child's expenses through secondary school. All told, tuition/room and board/books/insurance/etc. could come to $30,000 a year. You would promise to make annual payments to the lad, who would doubtlessly take on the responsibility to make payments to the school.

Posted: Tue May 07, 2019 9:06 am

I decided a church bait would be in order, so I sent this to the ladette: (with thanks to Birlic for the oil rig idea and Lakeside77 for the financial assistance angle)

Quote:

I have encountered a problem Nadia. I can not adopt the baby now, because I have obtained a new job work on an oil rig in the North Sea and I will be offshore for long periods of time. I have however a pastor that can help you out. His name is the Reverend FutLong Poo and he is a minister at my church, The Church of the Bloody Mary. If you contact him on [email protected], he will help you as I have spoken to him about this.
I trust you will contact the good Reverend as he is a good man who will help you to his utmost with financial assistance for your child's upbringing and education.

Let the games begin! Razz

Posted: Tue May 07, 2019 10:33 am

A letter goes to the lawyer, probably the same ladette or her boyfriend, to back up the story:

Quote:

Dear Mr. Kule
I have contacted your client Nadia Jules to inform her that as a result of a new job I have obtained in the North Sea oil industry, I have decided that adopting a baby would not be in the best interests of the child owing to my lengthy absences offshore. I have asked Miss Jules to contact my pastor, the Rev FutLong Poo who will take charge of this situation wherein he will arrange to adopt the baby and provide any and all financial assistance as may be required to bring up the child and furnish him with a quality education. He has also undertaken to pay any and all expenses to Miss Jules subject to certain conditions that would not be appropriate for me to divulge. That is in the purview of the Reverend Poo and details will of these will come from him.
I trust that this is in order and that you will liase with the Reverend as and when necessary to progress this adoption.

You can bet your life these "certain conditions" will be onerous to say the least. Twisted Evil

Posted: Tue May 07, 2019 2:58 pm

The ladette responds:

Quote:

Dear Mr. Richard,

Thanks for the plans made as a result of your new job, God bless you.
Since you have given the Reverend FutLong Poo the authority to act on
your behalf, i appreciate it. I will contact him right now to fetch me
with his details as earlier submitted to the lawyer so i can change it
or should i continue with your details as the adoptive parent while
the Rev speak for you.

Please I need your urgent reply so i can see the lawyer in his office
for this new development.

Regards,
Nadia

I demurr:

Quote:

Hi Nadia
No. If you can change my name for the Reverend's that would be more appropriate. I wish you luck in you and your child's journey through life.

But wait...we have evidence of lad laziness:

Quote:

Dear Mr Richard,

All same I thank you but my heart goes for you and your wife because
you have grown so much in my heart that i keep on praying to God for a
good home for my son in your hands with your wife. God knows best. Am
just from the office of the Lawyer to inform him of the new
development in the change of adoptive parent and he said, the adoption
form is already in your hands so if you want the Reverend to be the
adoptive parent. Is simple, let him fill the adoptive form as stated
in the form and attach his photocopy of is passport as indicated by
the lawyer in his email.

He said he has not gone through his mail box but I should tell you to
follow that instructions and get back to him with the adoption form
dully sign with the identification attached.

Thanks,

Await your reply, Nadia

She can't be bothered resending the form to the good Reverend Poo, she'd rather I fished it out of my inbox and sent it on. I don't think so. Rolling Eyes

Posted: Wed May 08, 2019 8:18 am

The good Reverend chimes in and asks for the form:

Quote:

Dear Miss Jules
Thank you for getting in touch with me. I have been appraised of the situation by Mr Soale. I have unfortunately not received the form of which you speak and since Richard has gone offshore to take up his new job, I cannot contact him to ask for it. If you could please arrange with your lawyer to forward it to me, I would be grateful.
May God and the Bloody Mary bless you and your child.

Rev. FutLong Poo

...and the ladette duly responds:

Quote:

Dear Sir, Rev. FutLong Poo,

Thanks very much sir for writing back, God will continue to bless you
for me. Like you have said, i will go and see the lawyer right now and
explain thing for him.

Once again thank you sir,
Nadia

And the Reverend Poo drops the hint of what will be expected of our gal if she wants her baby adopted and some cash to come her way:

Quote:

Thank you very much Miss Jules. I look forward to discussing the adoption of your son and your forthcoming membership of our Holy Church of the Bloody Mary

May God and the Bloody Mary bless you and your son.

Rev. FutLong Poo

Posted: Wed May 08, 2019 1:26 pm

The ladette is grateful:

Quote:

Dear Sir, Rev Futlong Poo,

Thank you too sir for the reply, am grateful for adopting my boy.
Thank you sir once again. Please kindly update me as you progresses
with the lawyer.

God bless you,

Nadia

Now the Reverend Poo sets out his stall:

Quote:

Dear Miss Jules
I have received the adoption form from your lawyer, Mr. Kule. I will be adopting your child on behalf of my church, the Church of the Bloody Mary, and he will become a ward of the church with all the rights and privileges that this entails. He will receive, in trust for him until the age of 21, an annual income of £25,000 Sterling and on top of that will be tutored in the chuch school, free of charge, from the age of 4 years untill his eighteenth birthday. As a matter of policy, only members of our church can normally avail themselves of these privileges, but in this case, as the recipient is a child under responsible age, it would fall to you, Miss Jules, to become a member of our church on your child's behalf in order that he can receive the benefits I have listed above. As a member of our churchand the mother of the child, you would also be eligible for financial benefits to the tune of £10,000 per year for as long as you are a full and participating member of our church.
There are various forms that must be filled in and qualifying tasks that must performed by you for your initiation into the Church of the Bloody Mary. You would then become a Simple Initiate of the church and, as such, on the first rung of the ladder toward full Bloodstorm membership.
Please forward me your agreement to these terms. After your initiations to the level of Simple Initiate, I will arrange to have the Adoption form I have received filled in and your child will become a ward of the Church.
May God and the Bloody Mary bless you and your child.

Kindest regards and blessings,

Rev. FutLong Poo

We'll see what this brings. Cool

Posted: Wed May 08, 2019 2:44 pm

My ladette is worried:

Quote:

Dear Sir, Rev. FutLong Poo

Am a bit confuse in this church because becoming a member with this
kind of reward or benefit, to be honest with you am worry, am just a
girl or 22yrs an orphan trying to move on with my life after my baby
adoption and life is not easy with me and the baby even at this
orphanage home where am presently staying, the government is not
helping matter rather we go on the street begging just to have a meal
for the babies and the children in the orphanage home.

Now you are telling me this and i must be initiated before i become a
member, please i hope this is not an evil court because I don;t want
to involve in anything of such in my life rather i better let the
adoption stay away, fine i want my baby boy to be adopted but not in
this way that will involve him in an evil court that will runs his
life in future thereby he will blame me. Please i want a better life
and good education for my son.

If it is not not what i thought, then i will become a member. That is
all i can say for now.

Thanks and God bless you,

but the Reverend Poo assures her:

Quote:

Dear Miss Jules
And your son WILL have a better life and good education. You have my word as a Christian. Our church is not an "evil court" as you put it. It is a branch of Christianity that worships the virgin Mary's blood spewed forth during her birth of the Son of God. It is no different from mainstream Christianity's love of "the Blood of Christ" which they symbolically drink. We have no such tastes. Drinking blood, whether symbolically or in reality, is one of our Ten Great Sins. No. You have nothing to worry about Miss Jules. We are a loving church and all we ask is that you become a member to avail yourself of our fellowship and bounty.
May the Bloody Mary Bless you and your Son

Rev FutLong Poo.

Posted: Thu May 09, 2019 1:19 pm

She is assured:

Quote:

Dear Sir, Rev Futlong,

I heard all you have said and the assurance given. am please with it.
You can go ahead with the adoption of my baby boy while i become a
member.

But what are needed to become a member? How can i fellowship with you?
How do i have access to all this benefit?

Thanks and God bless you Sir,
Nadia

Now to come up with some initiations and form-filling. Any ideas people?

Posted: Thu May 09, 2019 1:41 pm

I have a few church-membership forms ready. Send me an email on <snipped> and I can send them to you. You can edit them to your own preference.

Posted: Sat May 11, 2019 9:49 am

I have received this from my ladette and I'm beginning to worry I may have a genuine case on my hands. I certainly haven't seen THIS before. Any ideas?

Quote:

Am not really after the financial reward rather my baby boy been
adopted to a home that will give him a better life and good upbringing
with education is my major concern.

Posted: Sat May 11, 2019 12:43 pm

I suspect a double bluff - by insisting she's not after any money, she's trying to lower your suspicions.

Posted: Sun May 12, 2019 7:26 am

Fair enough Yastreb. I'll keep going and see how it pans out. Next thing is to send her my church membership application form.

Posted: Sun May 12, 2019 7:46 am

"She" may not want any money, but I'm sure the lawyer will require fees to be paid.

As the lad is almost certainly male, he will want to move you away from communicating with the "mother" and onto the solicitor so that if necessary he can make/take phone calls.

Posted: Tue May 14, 2019 9:04 am

I sent the mother a church membership application form (with thanks to Linoline) and since then everything's gone quiet. The Reverend Poo has tried to gee her up but so far, nothing.

Posted: Tue May 14, 2019 3:49 pm

My gal's having trouble with the form:

Quote:

Dear Sir, Rev. FutLong Poo

Am sorry to have reply late because most of all the information's to
be fill, i don;t have it so, like the bank details etc so am still
thinking about it.

Thanks

The Reverend Poo however is sympathetic:

Quote:

Dear Miss Jules.
If you do not have a bank account, other arrangements can be made for you to receive your award. For insance, we can arrange a courier to bring the money to your location subject to identity checks. Do not feel that you have to fill out the bank details part if you have no bank account.
May the Bloody Mary bless you and keep you.

Rev. Futlong Poo

Of course the courier will not quite be able to reach her and a safari might be in order if our gal wants the cash. Twisted Evil

Posted: Tue May 14, 2019 3:59 pm

^^^ Yeah, sure, no doubt.
Where your idiot lives? Laughing

Posted: Wed May 15, 2019 8:01 am

She's not said where she lives. My money's on Senegal.

Posted: Wed May 15, 2019 8:10 am

When using a courier, why not include a care package for mother & child. More incentive for them to pick it up, should the parcel get stranded somewhere....

Posted: Mon May 20, 2019 8:16 am

Unfortunately she's dropped me. The church application form was obviously too much for her inherent laziness to get past.
Onward to the next one.