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Posted: Mon Jan 03, 2005 6:04 pm

I get a surprise e mail, and I return it exactly as shown here, with my comments inserted here and there.
I send:

Reply-To: "Hugh G. Rection"
To: xixeLI - SUNG - CHOL <[email protected]>
Cc: [email protected]
Date: Mon, 3 Jan 2005 12:49:17 -0500
Subject: Re: HAPPY NEW YEAR 2005. CAN YOU BE OF ASSISTANCE? pbr

LI - SUNG - CHOL <[email protected]> wrote:
> Greatings.

HELLO

> Happy new year 2005.My prayer for you this year is that
> the love of God and his happiness will remain and abide with you
> for ever more.

THANKS! SAME TO YOU, PAL. NOW WHAT DO YOU WANT?

> This letter may come to you as a surprise due to the
> fact that we have not yet met.

REALLY, SHERLOCK? YA THINK?

I have to say that I
> have no intentions of causing you any pains so i
> decided to contact you through this medium .

TRY TO CAUSE ME ANY PAINS AND I'LL KICK YOUR ASS. I'M A 4TH DEGREE
BLACK BELT IN JIU JITSU!

> As you read this, I don't want you to feel sorry for
> me, because, I believe everyone will die someday.

NO SHIT, EINSTEIN? OF COURSE EVERYONE DIES SOMEDAY. EXCEPT FOR
VAMPIRES, BECAUSE THEY ARE IMMORTAL, UNLESS YOU PUT A STAKE IN THEIR
HEART OR IF THE SUN BURNS THEM

> My name is LI SUNG -CHOL , a merchant in Korea, in the
> I have been diagnosed with prostate and
> esophageal Cancer that was discovered very late
> due to my laxity in caring for my health.

THAT'LL TEACH YA

It has
> defiled all form of medicine and right now, I have
> only about a few months to live according to medical
> experts.

I GUESS YOU WILL BE PROMPT WITH YOUR RETURN LETTER, THEN? WRITE LIKE HELL!

> I have not particularly lived my life so well, as I
> never really cared for anyone not even myself but
> my business. Though I am very rich, I was never
> generous, I only focus on my business as that was
> the only thing I cared for. But now I regret all
> this as I now know that there is more to life than
> just wanting to have or make all the money in the world
> I believe when God gives me a second chance to come to this
> world I would live my life a different way from
> how I have lived it. Now that I know my time is
> near, I have willed and given most of my properties
> and assets to my immediate and extended family members
> and as well as a few close friends and Schools in
> the Korea .

BLAH BLAH BLAH

> I have decided to give alms to charityorganizations,
> as I want this to be one of the last
> good deeds I do on earth. So far, I have distributed
> money to some charity organizations in Korea ,
> London and Ireland. Now that my health has deteriorated
> so badly, I cannot do this my self any more.
>
> I once asked members of my family to close one of my accounts
> and donate the money, which I have there to charity
> organization in Bulgaria, they refused and kept the
> money to themselves. Hence, I do not trust them
> anymore, as they seem not to be contended with what
> I have left for them. The last of my money which is
> the huge cash deposit to the tone of ($20 Million usd )
> that I have with Financial Firm Abroad .I will want you to help me collect
> this deposit and dispatched it to charity organizations
> and let them know that it is I LI SUNG -CHOL that is
> making this generous donation.

WHATEVER

> I am writing this from my hospital bed where I wait for my time to come.
> I pray that God uses you to support and assist me with good heart. if you are intreseted
> in helping me please reply me on this email ( [email protected] )
>
> God be with you
>
> LI SUNG -CHOL
>
> N:B : PLEASE REPLY BACK THROUGH MY CONFIDENTIAL EMAIL ADDRESS IT IS MUCH MORE SECURED
> AND MY FAMILY MEMBER DONT HAVE ACCESS TO IT : [email protected]

LOOK, JUST SEND ME THE DOCUMENTS I NEED TO SEE, OK, AND I'LL SEE WHAT
I CAN DO FOR YOU
HUGH

Posted: Wed Jan 05, 2005 3:50 pm

I get a reply from the mugu...

I am most grateful for your mail, and I hope you were not too embarrassed by my first email to you, I got your contact address from a directory online and I had no other option than to contact you a complete stranger but believing that you will be a God fearing person that will help me carry out this last wish of mine since my immediate and extended family in and outside the Korea refused to distribute my funds because they want to keep it to themselves , I do not trust them any more , in the past they have connived with my lawyers to steal all that I have acquired and worked so hard for, it is by Gods grace am still alive, It is in view of this reason I decided to throw caution to the wind and ask for your help.
Unknown to the entire member of my family, I still have a huge sum of money to the tone of $20,000,000.00 Usd ($20 M USD) which I have stashed away with a private security/finance firm . No body knows about this money because if they do they will do everything possible to reach this money, I have kept it secret from them up till now.

I need you to secure the money from the finance firm on my behalf and help me distribute them to any charitable organization, and to the church so that they can use it to help the poor and needy people.

I don�t have much time to live on this earth the doctors have tried all they can and I have also endured this pain for a long time and now am ready to go.. but before I do I want you to give this money to the the needy on my behalf, this will make me very happy and it will give me inner peace.

All the necessary documents required to get the Funds out of the security firm are in my possession and I will be sending them to you after we must have come to a conclusion and reached an agreement.

(1) That you are in a position to be trusted as a God fearing person with such a large amount of funds and to spend it wisely.

(2) That you are willing to contact the security company to discuss the terms of releasing the funds to you as my representative.

(3) That you fully understand this transaction up to this stage and you are ready to proceed under these terms.

As soon as I receive your reply that you are ready to proceed under these terms, then I will furnish you with all details and documents involved I will also give you the contact detail of the security firm so that you can contact them directly subsequently I will authorize the transfer of ownership of the funds to your name and all the necessary paper works will be worked out with your and the security firm.

If you have any questions up to this stage, please ask and I will be more than happy to respond to them, I would like you to send me your full names and a contact telephone number where you can be reached if necessary.

I await your quick Response

May God bless you,

Li Sung Chol.

Wow.

Posted: Wed Jan 05, 2005 3:51 pm

The very rude Hugh, grouchy after a full day of vigorous prostate exams, replies:

To: LI Sung Chol <[email protected]>

Date: Wed, 5 Jan 2005 10:39:15 -0500
Subject: Re: Thanks for your response.

Dearest Sung Chong ching chow chikkity china,

Did I write to you? I cannot remember. Lately I have been having a bit
of memory problems, alas, that is what comes to the human body with
age.
Okay, I will gladly help you, and of course I am a God-fearing person
since I am not a goddamn gook commie slope.
Rule one: never ever ever trust a goddamn lawyer. They're all a bunch
of thieves. This deal is between me and you. I'll take care of those
bastards at the security office, no problem.
Send me the details.
HUGH

I apologise for the, er, politically incorrect words used in this letter. This in no way implies approval of racism in any form. Racism is wrong, and is used here only for artistic purposes.

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