The Lying Liar Moses Kwado: a Captain Mal bait

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Posted: Wed Sep 05, 2018 10:50 am

Lads lie. We all know this. Many of them lie badly. This is the story of a Lad who lied, and didn’t understand what the problem was.

The Scammer
Moses Kwado, “Eco bank Foreign Remittance Manager in Ghana”
Kwei Enoch Odai, “United Nation Secretary”

The Baiter
Malcolm Reynolds, retired US Marine

There are four phone calls in this bait; two of them are long ones (as in over the quarter-hour mark).

My comments are in bold.

9 November 2012
Dear Malcolm Reynolds,
We the entire management of Eco bank Ghana Limited , wish to inform and congratulate you about your funds amount $44.8 millions u.s. dollars, which is just been approved by the President, Minister of Finance and the United Nation Committee. That all your funds that is been pending here in our system should be remitted to you immediately without any further delay, hence we bring to you this notice. And as a Foreign Remittance Manager here in the Bank, I'm been opportune to bring this to your notification so that we should make all the necessary arrangement on how the funds will be transfer to you as soon as possible and work with you till this funds of yours is remitted to you. At the same time, you should be able to state the means or mode by which you want this funds of yours to be transfer to you because we have three means by which we transfer funds (MONEY) to our foreign beneficiary which is stated below:
(1) ATM CARDS: This is a process where by we load the funds(MONEY) into an ATM cards and the cards will be DHL to the beneficiary's doorstep through his /her courier address.cost $380 united state Dollars
(2)BANK TO BANK TRANSFER: This is a kind of transfer where by we transfer the beneficiary's funds (MONEY) directly to his/her Account but it will require your bank details.cost $290 united state Dollars
(3) ONLINE TRANSFER:this is the kind of transfer were by we will set up Offshore Reserve Account in Your name here in our Bank then we will Give you your Internet Client Number and password were you can Login to our Website and access your funds online and then make transfer to your nominated bank account yourself.it cost $255USD
BEFORE THE TRANSFER WILL COMMENCE YOU SHOULD SEND TO US:
1)Your home address
(2)Copy of your international Passport or Valid Driving License.
3)Your Nationality.
(4) State of Origin
(5)Personal Telephone Number
Hoping to hear from you as soon as possible so that we can effect the transfer immediately without any further relay as been approved by the President, Minister of Finance and United Nation.
Best Regards
Mr.Moses kwado.
Eco bank Foreign Remittance Manager

Mr Kwado
It would help if you explained how I came to have any money in your bank.
Malcolm Reynolds

10 November 2012
Dear Malcolm Reynolds,
Your email is well noted with many thanks, in this case i willing want to assist you if you let me know how much you have with you to send then i will cover the balance here in order for us to transfer the sum of $44.8million into your designation bank account without delay, note, reply back on this email and guarantee me that immediately you get the funds in your bank account there you will return back my money without failure as soon as you confirm the funds in your there.
If you green then go ahead and send amount you have with you across together with your bank account details to enable the transfer take place today, before sending the amount you have there, kindly reply back and confirm the amount you have before you send and we shall give receiver name to send.
Best Regards
Mr.Moses kwado.

Mr Kwado
Why did you ignore my question? It was simple enough! I just want to know how come I have money in your bank that I never knew even existed.
Malcolm Reynolds

Mr Kwado
My number is +61 XX XXXX XXXX. Call me if you wish.
Malcolm Reynolds

Of course he didn’t try to call, so I called him… He certainly seemed to be an eager type, and full of false bonhomie.
Points to note:
When I told him that I didn’t understand what he said between 00:30 - 00:55, I wasn’t lying.
The “Oooooo” at 02:05 is the first of several throughout these calls.
Telling him to not say “My brother” took a long time to sink in. Then again, he was a tad slow on the uptake throughout.

https://www.4shared.com/mp3/SD66aOaMba/2012-11-11_19_48_58_Kwado.html

12 November 2012
Dear Mr. Malcolm Reynolds,
Sorry for our late respond to your question.
And note that this pending funds was approved by the President of republic of Ghana John Dramani Mahama , Minister of Finance and the United Nation Committee due to the helping you are giving to Africa Refugees children.
Therefore we put a called across to Mr. President this morning and he give a word of advised to us to inform you that we should allow you to open online banking account with us so that we can give you account number and password to log in and make the transfer of the funds yourself there in Australia through you internet without further delay or choose any option below in our message and let us know then we process to you in order for you to receive your funds also note our opening account form in your attach file and fill it out then you send it back to us together with the fee need $255usd to enable we get things for you.
(1) ATM CARDS: This is a process where by we load the funds(MONEY) into an ATM cards and the cards will be DHL to the beneficiary's doorstep through his /her courier address.cost $380 united state Dollars
(2)BANK TO BANK TRANSFER: This is a kind of transfer where by we transfer the beneficiary's funds (MONEY) directly to his/her Account but it will require your bank details.cost $290 united state Dollars
(3) ONLINE TRANSFER:this is the kind of transfer were by we will set up Offshore Reserve Account in Your name here in our Bank then we will Give you your Internet Client Number and password were you can Login to our Website and access your funds online and then make transfer to your nominated bank account yourself.it cost $255USD
BEFORE THE TRANSFER WILL COMMENCE YOU SHOULD SEND TO US:
1)Your home address
(2)Copy of your international Passport or Valid Driving License.
3)Your Nationality.
(4) State of Origin
(5)Personal Telephone Number
Here is the receiver's name to send the fee across:
Receiver's Name: Reuben Eragborji
Address: Accra/Ghana
Amount: $255usd
MTCN NO: ......
Hoping to hear from you as soon as possible so that we can effect the transfer immediately without any further relay as been approved by the President, Minister of Finance and United Nation.
Best Regards
Mr.Moses kwado.

Mr Kwado
I have never helped African children.
I donate to MSF, but they help refugees everywhere.
Malcolm Reynolds

13 November 2012
Dear Mr. Malcolm Reynolds,
Respond to your email with many thanks, but note this funds was sign by the government of republic of Ghana to send to you as a good beneficiary who is giving help to Africa Refugee as i said to you before, and we want confirm from you in your next email if you ready to receive the funds or not because we cannot force you to receive your at all, beside immediately you confirm to us that you are not ready to receive we will do the changing of Owenship of the funds to another beneficiary who ready to receive the funds.
Note if you really ready to receive the funds kindly fill out the form and send it back together with the fee needed to enable we open the online account in your name then we give you online account details to transfer the funds your self to your designation bank account without further.
Here is the receiver's name to send the fee across:
Receiver's Name: Reuben Eragborji
Address: Accra/Ghana
Amount: $255usd
MTCN NO: ......
Hoping to hear from you as soon as possible so that we can effect the transfer immediately without any further relay as been approved by the President, Minister of Finance and United Nation.
Best Regards
Mr.Moses kwado.

Mr Kwado
I am not going to take money from an impoverished Third World nation when I did nothing to earn that money. I suggest that you don't give the money away, but use it to assist the children in Africa who need it.
Malcolm Reynolds

29 November 2012
Dear Mr. Malcolm Reynolds,
Sorry for our late respond to your question.
And note that this pending funds was approved by the President of republic of Ghana John Dramani Mahama , Minister of Finance and the United Nation Committee due to the helping you are giving to Africa Refugees children.
Therefore we put a called across to Mr. President this morning and he give a word of advised to us to inform you that we should allow you to open online banking account with us so that we can give you account number and password to log in and make the transfer of the funds yourself there in Australia through you internet without further delay or choose any option below in our message and let us know then we process to you in order for you to receive your funds also note our opening account form in your attach file and fill it out then you send it back to us together with the fee need $255usd to enable we get things for you.
(1) ATM CARDS: This is a process where by we load the funds(MONEY) into an ATM cards and the cards will be DHL to the beneficiary's doorstep through his /her courier address.cost $380 united state Dollars
(2)BANK TO BANK TRANSFER: This is a kind of transfer where by we transfer the beneficiary's funds (MONEY) directly to his/her Account but it will require your bank details.cost $290 united state Dollars
(3) ONLINE TRANSFER:this is the kind of transfer were by we will set up Offshore Reserve Account in Your name here in our Bank then we will Give you your Internet Client Number and password were you can Login to our Website and access your funds online and then make transfer to your nominated bank account yourself.it cost $255USD
BEFORE THE TRANSFER WILL COMMENCE YOU SHOULD SEND TO US:
1)Your home address
(2)Copy of your international Passport or Valid Driving License.
3)Your Nationality.
(4) State of Origin
(5)Personal Telephone Number
Here is the receiver's name to send the fee across:
Receiver's Name: Reuben Eragborji
Address: Accra/Ghana
Amount: $255usd
MTCN NO: ......
Hoping to hear from you as soon as possible so that we can effect the transfer immediately without any further relay as been approved by the President, Minister of Finance and United Nation.
Best Regards
Mr.Moses kwado.

Mr Kwado
I am not going to take money from an impoverished Third World nation when I did nothing to earn that money. I suggest that you don't give the money away, but use it to assist the children in Africa who need it.
Malcolm Reynolds

Things went quiet over December, and then…

8 January 2013
Dear Mr. Malcolm Reynolds,
Sorry for our late respond to your question.
And note that this pending funds was approved by the President of republic of Ghana John Dramani Mahama , Minister of Finance and the United Nation Committee due to the helping you are giving to Africa Refugees children.
Therefore we put a called across to Mr. President this morning and he give a word of advised to us to inform you that we should allow you to open online banking account with us so that we can give you account number and password to log in and make the transfer of the funds yourself there in Australia through you internet without further delay or choose any option below in our message and let us know then we process to you in order for you to receive your funds also note our opening account form in your attach file and fill it out then you send it back to us together with the fee need $255usd to enable we get things for you.
(1) ATM CARDS: This is a process where by we load the funds(MONEY) into an ATM cards and the cards will be DHL to the beneficiary's doorstep through his /her courier address.cost $380 united state Dollars
(2)BANK TO BANK TRANSFER: This is a kind of transfer where by we transfer the beneficiary's funds (MONEY) directly to his/her Account but it will require your bank details.cost $290 united state Dollars
(3) ONLINE TRANSFER:this is the kind of transfer were by we will set up Offshore Reserve Account in Your name here in our Bank then we will Give you your Internet Client Number and password were you can Login to our Website and access your funds online and then make transfer to your nominated bank account yourself.it cost $255USD
BEFORE THE TRANSFER WILL COMMENCE YOU SHOULD SEND TO US:
1)Your home address
(2)Copy of your international Passport or Valid Driving License.
3)Your Nationality.
(4) State of Origin
(5)Personal Telephone Number
Here is the receiver's name to send the fee across:
Receiver's Name: Reuben Eragborji
Address: Accra/Ghana
Amount: $255usd
MTCN NO: ......
Hoping to hear from you as soon as possible so that we can effect the transfer immediately without any further relay as been approved by the President, Minister of Finance and United Nation.
Best Regards
Mr.Moses kwado.

The “My brother” is back! But when I told him to stop using it, three times was too many apparently.

https://www.4shared.com/mp3/3qerzowmce/2013-01-08_19_42_26_Moses_Kwad.html

Mr Kwado
I have done nothing to earn that money. I told you that before.
Malcolm Reynolds

And that was it, or so I thought...

(There's more, honestly!)

Posted: Wed Sep 05, 2018 9:10 pm

Three years later, guess who’s back!

27 January 2016
Dear beneficiary.
We the entire management of Eco bank Ghana Limited , wish to inform and congratulate you about your funds amount $44.8 millions u.s. dollars, which is just been approved by the President, Minister of Finance and the United Nation Committee. That all your funds that is been pending here in our system should be remitted to you immediately without any further delay, hence we bring to you this notice. And as a Foreign Remittance Manager here in the Bank, I'm been opportune to bring this to your notification so that we should make all the necessary arrangement on how the funds will be transfer to you as soon as possible and work with you till this funds of yours is remitted to you. At the same time, you should be able to state the means or mode by which you want this funds of yours to be transfer to you because we have three means by which we transfer funds (MONEY) to our foreign beneficiary which is stated below:
(1) ATM CARDS: This is a process where by we load the funds(MONEY) into an ATM cards and the cards will be DHL to the beneficiary's doorstep through his /her courier address.cost $250 united state Dollars
(2)BANK TO BANK TRANSFER: This is a kind of transfer where by we transfer the beneficiary's funds (MONEY) directly to his/her Account but it will require your bank details.cost $200 united state Dollars
(3) ONLINE TRANSFER:this is the kind of transfer were by we will set up Offshore Reserve Account in Your name here in our Bank then we will Give you your Internet Client Number and password were you can Log in to our Website and access your funds online and then make transfer to your nominated bank account yourself.it cost $150USD
BEFORE THE TRANSFER WILL COMMENCE YOU SHOULD SEND TO US:
1)Your home address
(2)Copy of your international Passport or Valid Driving License. tionality.
(4) State of Origin
(5)Personal Telephone Number
Hoping to hear from you as soon as possible so that we can effect the transfer immediately without any further relay as been approved by the President, Minister of Finance and United Nation.
Best Regards
Mr.Moses kwado.

Mr Kwado
Nothing has changed since the last time you wrote to me.
Malcolm Reynolds

27 January 2016
Dear Malcolm Reynolds.
Thank you for your mail Sir, I'm been opportune to bring this to your notification so that we should make all the necessary arrangement on how the funds will be transfer to you as soon as possible and work with you till this funds of yours is remitted to you. At the same time, you should be able to state the means or mode by which you want this funds of yours to be transfer to you because we have three means by which we transfer funds (MONEY) to our foreign beneficiary which is stated below:
(1) ATM CARDS: This is a process where by we load the funds(MONEY) into an ATM cards and the cards will be DHL to the beneficiary's doorstep through his /her courier address.cost $250 united state Dollars
(2)BANK TO BANK TRANSFER: This is a kind of transfer where by we transfer the beneficiary's funds (MONEY) directly to his/her Account but it will require your bank details.cost $200 united state Dollars
(3) ONLINE TRANSFER:this is the kind of transfer were by we will set up Offshore Reserve Account in Your name here in our Bank then we will Give you your Internet Client Number and password were you can Log in to our Website and access your funds online and then make transfer to your nominated bank account yourself.it cost $150USD
BEFORE THE TRANSFER WILL COMMENCE YOU SHOULD SEND TO US:
1)Your home address
(2)Copy of your international Passport or Valid Driving License. tionality.
(4) State of Origin
(5)Personal Telephone Number
Hoping to hear from you as soon as possible so that we can effect the transfer immediately without any further relay as been approved by the President, Minister of Finance and United Nation.
Best Regards
Mr.Moses kwado.

Mr Kwado
Read my first email again.
Malcolm Reynolds

27 January 2016
What changed sir?
You mean you can't receive your funds sir?
Best Regards
Mr.Moses kwadwo.

Mr Kwado
Nothing has changed.
Malcolm Reynolds

Here’s the first instance of “feel” for “fee.” It will be an issue later.

29 January 2016
Sir you mean you can send the feel to receive your funds, let me know so that we and help you any amount you have to send Sir okay wait for your reply sir.
Best Regards
Mr.Moses kwadwo.

This is a long call – and the Lad was a bit faint, plus there were problems with dropout and noise, but there’s still plenty to hear.
I decided that saying “Don’t call me ‘my brother’” was a waste of time, so I simply said “You ain’t my brother” and left it at that.
His cry of “No, no, I’m not lying to you!” at 02:05 is weirdly prophetic – as events after 11:25 demonstrate. I gave him plenty of chances to reconsider the claim about having my passport, but he didn’t take them.
BTW, there’s a lot of profanity in the second half. I apologise for Mal’s language.

https://www.4shared.com/mp3/z90IjQAiba/2016-01-29_time_22_00_22_The_L.html

Mr Kwado
I don't understand your motives. You told a stupid lie and you stuck with it when you knew that I could prove it.
Malcolm Reynolds

So I opened Yahoo chat, just to find out what the Lad could come up with.

29 January 2016
Lad:‎ <ding>
Lad:‎ Hello Sir
Mal: Yes?
Lad:‎ Thank you sir
Mal: Identify yourself please.
Lad:‎ Why you call me lie sir?
Mal: Oh, it's Moses Kwado'
Lad:‎ Yes sir
Mal: The lying liar Moses Kwado.
Lad:‎ Sir i am not lie to you
Mal: You do not have my passport. You say you do. You are a liar. QED.
Lad:‎ Not you sir
Lad:‎ My passport sir
Mal: Bullshit. You said that you have my passport on file. Several times, in fact. That is a lie. Ergo, you are a liar.
Lad:‎ Your file with your name and your email address sir
Mal: And my passport, you said.
Lad:‎ Liar for what sir
Mal: Don’t try to deny it.
Lad:‎ No sir
Mal: You're denying it! But you can't!
Lad:‎ What do you mean sir?
Mal: Holy shit on a shingle. You said you have my passport on my file. But that is not possible. Therefore you are lying!
Lad:‎ Sir i dont like okay
Lad:‎ Why you call me liar
Mal: I don't give a shit if you don't like the truth. You lied to me. What's worse, you don't understand that fact.
Lad:‎ I am help you to receive your funds sir
Mal: By lying to me? How is that a help?
Lad:‎ Oh my god i dont liar sir believe me
Mal: How can you say that?
Lad:‎ What?
Mal: How can you say that you don't tell lies? YOU LIED TO ME!
Lad:‎ Liar for what sir
Mal: How the fuck should I know?
Lad:‎ Know what sir?
Mal: I know what you did. I don't know you did it.
Lad:‎ maybe you will not believe me but god believe me that i am try to help you to receive your funds here sir
Mal: Why tell such an obvious lie?
Lad:‎ Thank for that Sir
Lad:‎ god bless you for call me liar okay
Mal: It's the truth. You lied. You don't have my passport.
Lad:‎ because i can't lie to you sir
Mal: Oh for fuck's sake! You can't tell me something's true when I know it isn't.
Lad:‎ Your file sir
Mal: What about it?
Lad:‎ What sir?
Mal: You wrote "Your file sir". Meaning what?
Lad:‎ You call me liar sir?
Mal: YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lad:‎ Why?
Mal: I have told you why. Only someone with less sense than a donut would ask why.
Lad:‎ OK THANK YOU
Mal: So what made you lie?
Lad:‎ You call me you don't send money to me to transfer your funds to your bank account there why call me a liar?
Mal: Because you told me that you have my passport. That's a lie. Therefore you are a liar.
Lad:‎ Sir please are you come to my office and call me liar?
Mal: What's the gorram point of that? Facts are facts. It doesn’t matter if I'm two feet or two thousand miles away. You said that you have my passport. You don't have my passport. You say that you do have my passport. But you don't. So you must be a liar.
Lad:‎ OK THANK YOU GOD BLESS YOU SIR
Mal: Is that all you say? You can't handle the truth!
Lad:‎ What do you want me to say sir because i want to help you to receive your funds you call me liar sir
Mal: Why claim to have my passport when you don't? Explain please.
Lad:‎ SIR READ MY MESSAGE IN YOUR MAIL SIR OKAY YOU WILL SEE THE MESSAGE
Mal: What message? Nothing there about why you would try to deceive me.
Lad:‎ BEFORE THE TRANSFER WILL COMMENCE YOU SHOULD SEND TO US:
1)Your home address (2)Copy of your international Passport or Valid Driving License. tionality. (4) State of Origin (5)Personal Telephone Number
Mal: So? You claimed to have those details already. You said you have my name, address, number, and passport. You don't have my passport.
Lad:‎ READ
Mal: LISTEN!
Mal: I know what you SAID. What you WROTE is irrelevant. You wrote those very words back in November 2012.
Lad:‎ YES
Lad:‎ YES
Lad:‎ Why you don't believe me sir?
Mal: Because you said you had a copy of my passport. You don't. Therefore you lied. The fact that you asked for my passport again just recently is meaningless - you asked for my phone number again even though I sent it to you on 11 November 2012.
Lad:‎ SIR DO YOU SCHOOLING?
Mal: You have a gorram nerve to ask me that!
Lad:‎ CALL ME LIAR WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
Mal: I don't believe that you are being serious. You told me something that was not true, and that you know was untrue.
Lad:‎ OK SIR BUT BELIEVE IN GOD OKAY
Mal: I'm an atheist. Your religion means nothing.
Lad:‎ THANK YOU IF YOU WANT TO RECEIVE YOUR FUND SIR YOU SEND MESSAGE TO US SIR OKAY
Mal: Belief in God doesn't change what you did. I can't trust you, because you lied to me. It doesn't change the facts. You lied, and you are a liar.
Lad:‎ GOD TRUST ME BECAUSE I CANT LIAR TO YOU SIR
Mal: Don't tell me what Yahweh does or doesn't do, and don't tell me you can't lie, because you did.
Lad:‎ LIE MEAN THAT IF YOU SEND MONEY TO ME AND YOU NOT RECEIVE YOUR FUNDS THERE IS MEAN THAT I LIE TO YOU SIR
Lad:‎ PLEASE STOP CALL ME LIE OKAY SIR
Mal: You told me a lie and that's it. You do not have my passport. You said you do. You are a liar.
Lad:‎ OK THANK YOU SIR YOU AND GO OKAY
Mal: You are such an idiot.
Mal: That was a stupid, pointless lie.

30 January 2016
THANK YOU SIR IF YOU WANT TO RECEIVE YOUR FUNDS TELL ME KNOW OKAY I WILL HELP YOU TO TRANSFER THE FUNDS TO YOUR BANK ACCOUNT THERE SIR, IF YOU SEND THE MONEY YOU WILL KNOW THAT I DON'T LIAR TO YOU BECAUSE YOU WILL RECEIVE YOUR FUNDS HERE SIR UNDERSTAND AND BELIEVE ME AND GOD SIR, I AM HONEST TO YOU SIR PLEASE DON'T CALL ME A LIE SIR, YOU NOT SEND MONEY TO ME SIR PLEASE STOP IT SIR.

Mr Kwado
A lie is the deliberate telling of what isn't true. You told me that you had my passport when you don't have it, which means that you lied to me. It has nothing to do with sending money.
Malcolm Reynolds

There’s some honest mutual confusion between 04:30 and 05:50.
Apologies for the Lad’s low volume.

https://www.4shared.com/mp3/iGG4zlwJfi/2016-02-06_time_20_35_15_Moses.html

Lad:‎ Hello sir
Lad:‎ Are you there sir?
Mal:‎ Of course.
Mal:‎ Answer me this. Do you have my passport?
Lad:‎ No sir
Lad:‎ I told you this before sir
Mal:‎ You told me several times in our phone conversation that you do have it.
Mal:‎ For example, you said that I don't have to send your my passport because you already have it.
Lad:‎ Sir i am honest to you if you really want to receive your funds send the feel sir
Lad:‎ I promise you
Mal:‎ If you are going to tell me things that are not true, I can't trust you.
Lad:‎ Believe me sir
Lad:‎ I am honest to you sir
Lad:‎ I work in the bank 6 yrs ago sir
Mal:‎ Telling me over and over again how honest you are doesn't change a thing. Neither does boasting about your time in the bank. You either lied or made an embarrassing mistake.
Lad:‎ Sir if you dont believe me ask the bank Manager there okay
Mal:‎ You're the POC. If I can't trust you...
Lad:‎ my promise to you sir to transfer your money to your bank account there trust me okay
Lad:‎ OK send the feel to believe me sir
Mal:‎ All your talk can't change the fact of your dishonesty or incompetence.
Lad:‎ Sir if you receive your money in your bank account there you believe me okay
Lad:‎ I promise you sir
Lad:‎ This is the receiver information
Receiver name:Mariam Owoo
Receiver Location:ACCRA GHANA
Amount: $250 US Dollar
Question:trust
Answer believe
Sender Name ....
Sender country ........
MTCN ........

Oh, a discount! How generous of him.

Mal:‎ I need something more substantial than that! And what the blue hell is that for?
Lad:‎ What do you mean sir?
Mal:‎ By what?
Lad:‎ Send to the information sir
Mal:‎ Forget that! You're saying that I need to trust you so that I'll be paid, but that first, I must pay. Am I right?
Mal:‎ Respond please.
Lad:‎ Yes sir
Mal:‎ But that requires me to trust you enough to send money.
Lad:‎ Because i will transfer the money to your bank account there sir
Mal:‎ But first I have to pay. There's the problem. A problem, actually.
Lad:‎ ONLINE TRANSFER:this is the kind of transfer were by we will set up Offshore Reserve Account in Your name here in our Bank then we will Give you your Internet Client Number and password were you can Log in to our Website and access your funds online and then make transfer to your nominated bank account yourself.it cost $250USD
Mal:‎ You've forgotten the biggest problem.
Lad:‎ What problem?
Mal:‎ There's no proper explanation for why I'd get $44.8 million. THAT problem, Bubba-Louie!
Lad:‎ Problem for you to receive your funds sir?
Mal:‎ No, you dipshit! Why would anyone give me $44.8 million?
Lad:‎ Sir you read your message?
Lad:‎ We the entire management of Eco bank Ghana Limited , wish to inform and congratulate you about your funds amount $44.8 millions u.s. dollars, which is just been approved by the President, Minister of Finance and the United Nation Committee. That all your funds that is been pending here in our system should be remitted to you immediately without any further delay, hence we bring to you this notice. And as a Foreign Remittance Manager here in the Bank,
Mal:‎ That makes no gorram sense. The Government of Ghana owes me nothing and the UN owes me nothing.
Lad:‎ Ok sir
Mal:‎ So what's your answer?
Lad:‎ What do you want me to say sir
Mal:‎ Why the Government of Ghana would give me millions of dollars.
Lad:‎ Sir i am Eco bank Foreign Remittance Manager okay
Mal:‎ But you have a brain.
Mal:‎ (Sorta)
Lad:‎ My work to message about funds here sir okay
Mal:‎ You can think for yourself. You should be able to understand my concerns.
Lad:‎ What do you want me to do sir?
Lad:‎ I promise to transfer the money to your bank account there sir
Lad:‎ If you send the feel sir
Lad:‎ This is the receiver information
Receiver name:Mariam Owoo
Receiver Location:ACCRA GHANA
Amount: $250 US Dollar
Question:trust
Answer believe
Sender Name ....
Sender country ........
MTCN ........
Mal:‎ I was wrong. You don't have a brain.
Mal:‎ Until I know the reason for getting the money, nothing happens.
Lad:‎ Ok bye sir
Mal:‎ I'll write to the Ghana Embassy and ask them to explain. If you won't tell, maybe they will.
Lad:‎ can you sign a fie?
Mal:‎ Say again?
Lad:‎ can you sign a fine sir?
Mal:‎ A what?
Mal:‎ Do you know what you're saying?
Lad:‎ What do you mean by what?
Lad:‎ Yes sir
Mal:‎ I don't what what you meant by "sign a fine".
Lad:‎ because you dot to receive your funds sir
Mal:‎ You are making no sense. You are showing no signs of intelligence.
Lad:‎ Sign a fine so that them know sir
Mal:‎ What do you mean by "sign a fine"?
Lad:‎ Because you dont believe me sir
Mal:‎ You're making it impossible.
Lad:‎ The funds fine sir
Mal:‎ Use proper English please.
Lad:‎ You sign the funds fine with me before i message Embassy sir
Mal:‎ What the fuck are you saying?
Lad:‎ You want explain?
Mal:‎ I have asked several times. But answer in proper English.
Lad:‎ Thank u for that sir
Lad:‎ Bye
Mal:‎ So you can't explain? Why not?
Lad:‎ explain what?
Mal:‎ "You sign the funds fine with me before i message Embassy sir". Explain that please.
Lad:‎ You ask me to ask embassy to explain sir right
Mal:‎ No, I did not ask you to do that! I am going to write to the embassy. Why would you?
Mal:‎ The Finance Ministry should know, if anyone. Why didn't you think of that?
Lad:‎ Do you have united nation email address?
Mal:‎ Of course not.
Mal:‎ But the Government of Ghana has to answer for it too. Why aren't you showing due diligence?
Lad:‎ Send them email can get back to me for the feel okay
Mal:‎ OK, I'll write to the Embassy and get back to you.
Lad:‎ Let me see the email address sir
Mal:‎ What email address?
Lad:‎ You told me that you write to Embassy right
Mal:‎ Not yet.
Lad:‎ But you have the email address?
Mal:‎ Yes.
Lad:‎ Let me see the email sir?
Mal:‎ Why?
Lad:‎ I know sir
Mal:‎ Know what?
Lad:‎ You sure that you have the really email address sir?
Mal:‎ Yes, I'm sure. Why so anxious?
Lad:‎ Because we have scammer people here sir

The Lad tries to prevent what he assumes is another Lad from muscling in.

Mal:‎ Why is that relevant?
Lad:‎ Mean what?
Mal:‎ You answer questions with questions a lot. As it is... the embassy won't have any scammers. I'll write to them Monday - they won't be open tomorrow.
Lad:‎ That is wrong people sir
Mal:‎ I don't understand. Why do you say that?
Lad:‎ I know embassy email sir
Mal:‎ Why would you know that?
Lad:‎ let me see the email you have there sir
Mal:‎ What email do you have for them?
Lad:‎ Tell me the one you have sir
Mal:‎ It's from the website! Why are you being so gorram suspicious?
Lad:‎ I talk to you sir as honest man
Mal:‎ Your honesty isn't the issue. Your paranoia is the issue!
Lad:‎ If you don't believe me sir you can go okay
Mal:‎ I don't understand you.
Lad:‎ You have the information there sir
Mal:‎ I got the embassy email from the website and you want to check it for some reason. Why would the embassy website be suspect?
Lad:‎ If you want to send the feel send the name sir okay
Lad:‎ Thank you so much sir
Mal:‎ If you were truly genuine you would gladly help me.
Lad:‎ You wrong sir
Mal:‎ What? So your total lack of cooperation makes you genuine?
Lad:‎ I I want to help you sir but you dont believe me sir okay bye sir if you believe me send the money to make the transfer to your bank account there sir okay.
Mal:‎ No fucking way could you be a bank manager. You are too fucking stupid.
Lad:‎ Thank you byeeee
Mal:‎ Forget the embassy; no point in wasting their time with a pantywaist dirt-poor dipshit like you.
Mal:‎ And "byeee" - that is so gay.

Next day…

Lad:‎ Hello sir
Lad:‎ have you believe me now sir?
Mal: Has anything changed?
Lad:‎ But you send message to the embassy sir
Mal: Never got around to it.
Lad:‎ I told you sir i am honest to you
Lad:‎ trust me sir you will receive your funds okay
Lad:‎ tell me how much money you have to send also that i help you transfer the money to your bank account there sir okay
Mal: Why do you want to know how much money I have?
Lad:‎ Also that i help you make the transfer to your bank account sir okay
Mal: Answer my question.
Lad:‎ Sir i told you this before
Mal: Why do you want to know how much money I have? THAT question.
Lad:‎ You have to pay $250usd to transfer the money to your bank account there sir
Mal: And you think I don't have $250...
Lad:‎ Tell me how much you have now to send also that i help you make the transfer sir
Mal: I don't need your handouts.
Lad:‎ No sir
Mal: Why did you say "No sir"?
Lad:‎ You ask me question sir
Mal: You think I need your handouts, huh?
Lad:‎ about the money
Mal: Exactly! You think I'm some deadbeat trailer trash.
Lad:‎ You told me you have the money $250usd to pay for the feel sir
Mal: I asked you if you thought I don't have $250.
Mal: You can't say "No sir" because it's obvious that you think I can't afford it. That is an insult.
Lad:‎ Ok sorry sir to say that
Mal: Why did you say that?
Lad:‎ Sorry sir also that i know how much you have to send sir
Mal: I don't have to send you anything.
Lad:‎ Ok sir
Lad:‎ Not me okay
Mal: No-one sends money for nothing. Do you understand?
Lad:‎ No sir
Mal: What's hard to understand?
Lad:‎ Because you believe lie sir but you don't believe the true
Mal: What lie am I believing?
Lad:‎ See the true and see the believing sir
Mal: You said that I "believe lie". What lie?
Lad:‎ Yes sir
Mal: "Yes sir" is not the right answer,
Lad:‎ Because i am tell you the true but you don't believe
Mal: The fact that I didn't believe you means that I didn't believe the lie.
Lad:‎ Ok sir
Lad:‎ thank you
Mal: You claimed to have my passport and that was a stupid lie.
Lad:‎ Sir you do not send money to me you send transfer your money to your bank account sir okay
Mal:‎ So you say.
Mal:‎ No-one sends $45 million without a good reason.
Mal:‎ Right?
Lad:‎ But you read the message we send to you sir?
Lad:‎ You see the reason there
Mal:‎ There was no reason there that made sense.
Mal:‎ We the entire management of Eco bank Ghana Limited , wish to inform and congratulate you about your funds amount $44.8 millions u.s. dollars, which is just been approved by the President, Minister of Finance and the United Nation Committee. That all your funds that is been pending here in our system should be remitted to you immediately without any further delay, hence we bring to you this notice. And as a Foreign Remittance Manager here in the Bank, I'm been opportune to bring this to your notification so that we should make all the necessary arrangement on how the funds will be transfer to you as soon as possible and work with you till this funds of yours is remitted to you. At the same time, you should be able to state the means or mode by which you want this funds of yours to be transfer to you because we have three means by which we transfer
funds (MONEY) to our foreign beneficiary which is stated below:
Lad:‎ Send message to the unted nation [email protected]
Mal:‎ In all that you wrote I didn't find any mention of why I'd get that money.
Mal:‎ Who am I writing to?
Lad:‎ Ok sir
Mal:‎ "Ok sir" is not the answer.
Lad:‎ Your answer to send the feel sir okay
Mal:‎ What the fuck was that? I wanted to know who I should be writing to and your idea of a name is "Ok sir" and "to send the feel okay". Is your IQ in double figures?
Lad:‎ I give you the information sir
Mal:‎ You gave me an email address, not a name.
Lad:‎ The receiver information?
Lad:‎ This is the receiver information
Receiver name:Mariam Owoo
Receiver Location:ACCRA GHANA
Amount: $250 US Dollar
Question: trust
Answer: believe
Sender Name ....
Sender country ........
MTCN ........
Mal:‎ Not the fucking receiver's name!!!!!!!!! The person at the UN!!
Mal:‎ Holy shit on a shingle!
Lad:‎ Ok
Mal:‎ You don't think. Ever.
Lad:‎ Mr Kwei Enoch Odai
Mal:‎ Who is he exactly?
Lad:‎ approved by the President, Minister of Finance and United Nation

A couple of days later…

Lad:‎ No answer from you?
Mal:‎ Were you expecting an answer?
Lad:‎ Yes because i give you UN email address Sir
Mal:‎ After you most recent tantrum, I thought there was no point.
Lad:‎ I u see
Mal:‎ Have you calmed down now?
Lad:‎ You think i lie to u sir
Lad:‎ Yes
Lad:‎ You make me angry sir
Mal:‎ I don't THINK you lied to me. I KNOW you lied to me. You said you have my passport. You confirmed that three more times in that conversation. You can't tell me that you didn't say that.
Lad:‎ Sir if you dont believe me please send message to UN okay
Mal:‎ I don't know why you would tell something so easy to disprove.
Lad:‎ I understand u sir but u dont believe me sir
Mal:‎ Do you ever wonder why?
Lad:‎ No
Mal:‎ Why would you not ask yourself why I'd doubt you?
Lad:‎ Tell me sir
Mal:‎ I can't answer that question.
Lad:‎ Answer the question sir?
Mal:‎ You have to ask yourself that question.
Lad:‎ You mean if u send the feel ?
Lad:‎ I promise you sir that i will make the transfer to your bank account there sir okay
Mal:‎ What the fuck is it with you and that gorram feel?
Lad:‎ I told u send email to UN sir okay
Lad:‎ You make angry sir
Mal:‎ You told me not to contact the Ghana embassy for some reason.
Mal:‎ So how did I anger you?
Lad:‎ Send to UN sir
Mal:‎ How did I anger you?
Lad:‎ You dont understand me sir
Lad:‎ Why?
Mal:‎ Any particular thing?
Lad:‎ You call me you message me sir ask you to send the feel to transfer the money to your bank account Lad:‎ For you to believe sir send message to UN okay
Mal:‎ But the passport issue remains a stumbling block. You can't wave it away.
Lad:‎ I don't understand you sir
Lad:‎ Send the feel and see believe sir
Mal:‎ You said that you have a copy of my passport. That is not true. Why did you say that?
Lad:‎ Sir send message to Embassy or UN okay
Mal:‎ DON'T DODGE THE ISSUE!!!!!!!
Lad:‎ Because you don't believe me sir
Lad:‎ Talk like a man sir
Mal:‎ And the more you refuse to ask yourself why, the more I won't believe you.
Mal:‎ What do you know about being a man? Have you served your country as a soldier?
Lad:‎ Sir you talk like a woman
Mal:‎ You have no idea what it means to be a man and not some lard-ass pencil pusher. Do you think you talk like a man?
Lad:‎ No sir Are you a soldier?
Mal:‎ I'm a US Marine, retired. You have nothing to put up against that.
Lad:‎ Yes talk like a man
Lad:‎ Sir
Lad:‎ Oh sorry sir
Mal:‎ Show me how you talk like a man.
Lad:‎ U make me angry
Lad:‎ Sorry to talk to u like that
Mal:‎ I don't give a fuck about that.
Lad:‎ Sir send message to Embassy or UN okay
Mal:‎ You said not to contact the embassy, remember?
Lad:‎ Yes
Mal:‎ So?
Lad:‎ Because you dont believe me sir
Mal:‎ Why don't I believe you? What do you think?
Lad:‎ think what?
Mal:‎ About why I don't trust you.
Lad:‎ I don't know sir just only you say this
Mal:‎ You are severely sociopathic - unable to understand anyone else's viewpoint unless it's completely in accordance with your version of reality, it's not real.
Lad:‎ But if you receive the money there sir you will believe me?
Mal:‎ I have to believe you first.
Lad:‎ Ok sir
Mal:‎ So prove yourself.
Lad:‎ Do not worry about me sir okay
Mal:‎ I'm not worried about you.
Lad:‎ i prove my self to u sir
Mal:‎ When and how?
Lad:‎ Sir you see the prove when you receive the money there okay
Mal:‎ It doesn't work like that.
Mal:‎ No feel unless your prove yourself first.
Lad:‎ Why no feel sir?
Mal:‎ Because you have to prove that you are the real McCoy?
Lad:‎ You what me to have problem here ?
Mal:‎ How can that happen?
Lad:‎ When you send the feel sir i will make the transfer to your bank account there okay
Mal:‎ I told you - no feel until you prove yourself. It's your fault that I don't believe you.
Lad:‎ Ok sir send $150usd i will pay the $100usd when you receive the money there send my money back to me sir okay
Mal:‎ No feel without proof first. You should understand that.
Lad:‎ I understand u do want i ask you to do
Lad:‎ So that you see the believe sir
Lad:‎ send $150usd i will pay the $100usd when you receive the money there send my money back to me sir okay
Mal:‎ No - you have to prove yourself first.
Mal:‎ Don't try to set conditions. You're the one who lied, not me.
Lad:‎ Ok sir thank u
Mal:‎ So, when do you prove yourself, and how?
Lad:‎ send $150usd i will pay the $100usd when you receive the money there send my money back to me sir okay
Mal:‎ For the third time - no. That is just so fucked. YOU have to prove YOURSELF to ME before you get any feel.
Lad:‎ What prove to receive the money there tell me?
Mal:‎ You have to prove your honesty and integrity. Either that, or you have to be vouchered for by someone of proper status.
Lad:‎ Or what i say sir is true
Mal:‎ That's what I said!
Lad:‎ send $150usd i will pay the $100usd when you receive the money there send my money back to me sir okay
Mal:‎ Won't happen. That NLP shit doesn't work on me.
Lad:‎ Ok thank u sir
Mal:‎ You know what to do.
Lad:‎ what?
Mal:‎ Just read what I wrote before.
Mal:‎ You have the attention span of a walnut. Seriously, dude!

In part 3, the "United Nations" man shows up...

Posted: Thu Sep 06, 2018 9:54 am

So, let’s see what this UN guy has to offer.

Attn:
Do you know Moses Kwado, who wrote the email quoted below?
Malcolm Reynolds

Wouldn’t you know it – the UN guy has the same issue with “feel” as Moses Kwado! Like many others, this Lad can’t do multiple personae.

15 February 2016
Thank u for your mail Mr. Malcolm Reynolds, we received a letter from Moses kwado that u refuse transfer your funds sir The approved to you by the President, Minister of Finance and United Nation.
Mr. Malcolm Reynolds, you have to send the feel to Moses kwadwo to make the transfer of the funds to you by tomorrow.
Best regard
Mr, Kwei Enoch Odai
United Nation Secretary

Mr Odai
Kwado is not being honest. That seems to be normal with him. He lies without any reason.
He left out the fact that he refused to explain why I was being given the money in the first place. Now that you're here, you can tell me.
Malcolm Reynolds

15 February 2016
Thank u for your question Malcolm Reynolds, The funds approved to you by the late President John Atta Mills, Minister of Finance and the United Nation Committee As a good work man, Mr Malcolm Reynolds as soon as you send the feel the funds will be transfer to you there okay if you can send the money to Moses kwado send to my name Kwei Enoch Odai, Mr Malcolm Reynolds.
Best regard
Mr, Kwei Enoch Odai
United Nation Secretary

Mr Odai
I had hoped that you'd tell me why I'm being given this money because I can't think of any reason.
Malcolm Reynolds

15 February 2016
The funds approved to you by the late President John Atta Mills, Minister of Finance and the United Nation Committee As a good work man Mr Malcolm.
Best regard
Mr, Kwei Enoch Odai
United Nation Secretary

Mr Odai
That is no reason at all! Holy shit on a shingle - I could name fifty people in this town who are "good work men". Are you going to send them $45 million each?
Malcolm Reynolds

15 February 2016
are you not retired army Mr.Malcolm Reynolds?
Best regard
Mr, Kwei Enoch Odai
United Nation Secretary

Mal replies somewhat coldly (italics are in the original).

Mr Odai
I am a retired United States Marine.
Malcolm Reynolds

15 February 2016
Thank u Mr.Malcolm Reynolds the funds approved to you in name Mr.Malcolm Reynolds by the late President John Atta Mills, Minister of Finance and the United Nation Committee
Best regard
Mr, Kwei Enoch Odai
United Nation Secretary

Mr Odai
I want an actual answer - not meaningless drivel.
Malcolm Reynolds

Lad:‎ Hello sir
Lad:‎ Sir you call us ?
Mal:‎ No, just you. You ain't royalty.
Lad:‎ Ok sir
Mal:‎ Odai is an idiot.
Lad:‎ What do u mean sir?
Mal:‎ He says that I'm getting the money because I'm a "good work man".
Lad:‎ You see
Mal:‎ No I don't see.
Lad:‎ But call me lie sir
Mal:‎ If you want me to...
Lad:‎ Mean what sir?
Mal:‎ But that isn't the issue. You said Odai would answer my question. He hasn't even tried.
Lad:‎ But he told you about the funds sir?
Mal:‎ Did you read what I wrote?
Lad:‎ Yes sir
Lad:‎ what do you want me to do now sir?
Lad:‎ Do you really want to receive your funds now sir?
Mal:‎ You can't do anything.
Mal:‎ No-one can do anything. Apparently.
Lad:‎ Ok sir
Lad:‎ I am here in my office sir if you want to receive your funds sir you and send the feel to the name i give to you sir.
Mal:‎ Odai thinks I'm retired Army. Did you tell him that?
Lad:‎ No
Mal:‎ I wonder who told him that
Lad:‎ You wonder?
Mal:‎ Yes I wonder. Is that wrong?
Lad:‎ I told you before sir
Mal:‎ You said you didn't tell him that, so I'm wondering who did.
Lad:‎ He have your fine sir
Lad:‎ Not me sir
Mal:‎ I'm talking about why he thinks I'm ex-Army.
Lad:‎ I am here in my office sir if you want to receive your funds sir you and send the feel to the name i give to you sir.
Lad:‎ Thank u sir
Mal:‎ So you not only lied, but you've now broken your word. Ever thought of going into politics?
Lad:‎ No sir

19 February 2016
Mr.Malcolm Reynolds you have to send the feel so that receive your funds.
Best regard
Mr, Kwei Enoch Odai
United Nation Secretary

Mr Kwado
I'm not sending anything now.
You didn't know when to stop lying.
Malcolm Reynolds

Mal:‎ Dude... you are one lazy SOB.
Lad:‎ What sir?
Mal:‎ Your answer to everything is the same - send the feel. That's just so fucking lame.
Lad:‎ What do you want me to do now sir
Mal:‎ See? It's all you can say. You're like a fucking parrot! "Arrk! Send the feel! Send the feel! Arrk!" It's not like I haven't told you 'time without number' what you have to do.
Lad:‎ you send the feel to receive sir okay
Mal:‎ Like I said, your answer to everything is "pay the feel". But it's the wrong answer. So what are you going to do?
Lad:‎ Sir when you pay the feel i make the transfer to you okay
Mal:‎ Like I said, your answer to everything is "pay the feel". But it's the wrong answer.
Lad:‎ Ok thank you
Mal:‎ So what are you going to do?
Lad:‎ Good question
Lad:‎ The question is you to pay the feel for the transfer sir
Mal:‎ You are a fucking idiot. Pretending to be that Odai loser...

Suddenly, the Lad has had enough! I guess pretending to be Odai was the last shot in his locker.

Lad:‎ You are idiot
Lad:‎ You are idiot
Lad:‎ You are idiot
Lad:‎ You are idiot
Lad:‎ You are idiot
Lad:‎ You are idiot
Lad:‎ You are idiot
Lad:‎ You are idiot
Lad:‎ You are idiot
Lad:‎ You are idiot
Lad:‎ You are idiot
Lad:‎ fuck you
Lad:‎ fuck you
Lad:‎ fuck you
Lad:‎ Dont send me message fuck you
Mal:‎ You shouldn't tell lies. Doesn't your god forbid that?
Mal:‎ You shouldn't try to steal. Doesn't your god forbid that?

And that was it, folks!

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