First bait in a long while

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Wannabe Baiter Joined: 18 Jan 2008 Posts: 81

Here's my first bait on returning to the hobby after a long break. My redactions are in angled brackets; I'll omit most of the boilerplate stuff from the scammer.

Dr <firstname firstname> is on his deathbed in hospital, a cancer victim with many millions of US dollars to give away to charity. He needs someone to help and, fortunately for him, his email reaches <baiter 1>, a foreign resident of the UK with rather poor English language skills.

<baiter 1> writes:

Quote:

dear <firstname>
trust me im intrested

The doctor replies entirely on script with a sob story explaining why he can't rely on his family or wife to distribute his vast fortune: his family are crooks and his wife is having an affair. He asks <baiter 1> to send him contact details which he will forward to the bank where his money resides.

<baiter 1> sends some brief, incomplete and unformated contact details, and a sob story of her own:

Quote:

dear mr <firstname>

god bless you such kind man for doin good charity an for trust me so i promis i do best i can

here is the full infomations my fullname is <baiter 1> but i dont like <baiter 1> so i like olga <not the name used> an this not my marrige name bcos im tryin to divorse my husban an i dont want use his name nomore. i live in england nere a town calld <large northern town> but if yor not english you migte kno <very large northern city> bcos that is biger town nere <large northern town>. i cam to england when i marrid my husban bfore i was not england person
my phon is <larry's number> but my husban controll it an anssers it an migte not let me ansser it if hes out i will ansser it im 32 yers old an i work as cleener at my church its onely part job. my husban took my pasport an wont let me hav it thats why i divorse him now he so crewl to me all times

you are blessd persone mr <first name>. i so plesed if i can help you an i pray to almigty god for fixin yor cancer an make you well agan

with my prayrs sent to you
olga

Dr <firstname firstname> is happy with that and within minutes writes that he is forwarding Olga's information to the bank and she will be contacted by them, which indeed she is, very soon after.

Olga's not happy, though. There's been a misunderstanding - the bank thinks she's the doctor's next of kin. Olga is very honest and cannot let that pass. Besides, she fears dishonesty may cause her problems in the UK.

Quote:

pleas mr <firstname>

pleas tell them i yor frend and helper bfor i write them bcaus i scard theyr lawer will think i fruad you of yor monys and they send me bak to <former Soviet Union country>

pleas mr <firstname> i pray to god you do this

gods blessin from hevan on you from yor tru frend on erth,
olga

I seem to have lost an email or two from this little exchange but I hope you get the gist. It ends with a replacement email from the bank which omits any mention of next of kin.

The bank's replacement email is one of the worst I've seen. Full of spurious nonsense it seems to have been culled from a completely unrelated scam attempt (another bait, hopefully). Olga doesn't notice its flaws so she resolves to confirm to the bank that she will act. But since it's now the weekend with a bank holiday to follow she does nothing. Dr <firstname firstname> isn't happy and sends Olga a brief piece of script:

Quote:

Hello Ms Olga,

I can see that you are not ready for this transaction and you cannot handle this transaction because until now you have not response to the email of the <scammer bank>.

Thanks

Dr <firstname firstname>

This provokes a gentle slap from Olga, the first of many much harder ones I suspect:

Quote:

dear dr <firstname> why you say this? <scammer bank> say no open for satday nite an sunday so i think cancer make you brane mad

i wate for <scammer bank> opem tomorow

god bless you
olga

More to follow...

Wannabe Baiter Joined: 18 Jan 2008 Posts: 81

Correction: I used Lenny's phone number, not Larry's. My mistake.

Anyway, Monday dawns and, while it is a bank holiday in the UK, as far as Olga knows it's not in the EU country where the scammer bank is located. So she makes her first contact with the bank:

Quote:

hallo yes i confim thank you

She emails Dr <firstname firstname> with the news. (He's forgiven her for her tardiness, by the way, and so he should - the cancer-ridden bastard!)

Quote:

dear mr <firstname> how are you today bettr i hop

i confim jus now

from olga

Now Olga doesn't do long conversations with officialdom, and she's already feeling out of her depth, so all her queries about the transaction are directed to the doctor, not the bank. For a start, she needs help; then the bank account to which she is expected to transfer money doesn't meet her expectations:

Quote:

thank you mr <firstname> i nede yor help

<scammer bank> emal me bank number but i don kno how for send mony ther

sorry mr <firstname> this ver hard for me

olga

Quote:

mr <firstname>

who this persen <personal account name> why i send moneys for her?

i go church now see my frend mrs prim. she nice laddy help me

olga

Yes, Olga has a friend at her Church, <baiter 2>, whose name is not Mrs Prim Andproper.

Meanwhile the doctor explains, to Olga's satisfaction, the personal name for the account:

Quote:

Hello Olga,

Thanks for your email,Please you will have to do as they asked you to do okay, Ms <personal name> is the Accountant to the <scammer bank>, She is in charged of payments, Once you made the payment to this bank account ,make sure you will scan the payment receipt and send a copy to the <scammer bank> for the confirmation of the payment.

Thanks

Dr <firstname firstname>

Now I want <baiter 2> to take over from here, so I have her email the doctor. While Olga is sometimes, I hope, hard for the scammer to understand, I intend <baiter 2> to be equally hard using a completely different modality. Brownie points for anyone who can stomach her turgid prose:

Quote:

Dear <firstname firstname>,

Please allow me to introduce myself. My name is <baiter 2> and I am a churchwarden at St Peter's Church and the close personal friend of our dearly beloved parishioner <baiter 1>, known to you I believe as Olga. Olga has asked me to write to your good self, a request with which I am, with God's grace and a few spare minutes before evensong, more than happy to comply.

First of all, let me say how absolutely thrilled and deeply moved I was to learn from dear Olga of your most wonderful generosity to our little parish and its various charitable causes. Truly and from the bottom of my heart and on behalf of everyone of our devout (albeit small) congregation I thank you. You were foremost in all our prayers at yesterday (Sunday) morning's service of praise. Thank you, thank you, thank you a million times.

Now far be it from any of us to have the slightest ingratitude in our hearts (and I absolutely and unconditionally assure you that we do not), we do have one concern which may give the false appearance of it, and that stems from Olga's vulnerable situation through her seeking a divorce while being, at this time, not yet a citizen of this country. I am not one to gossip, Mr <2nd firstname>, and so I won't delve any deeper into our dear friend's personal circumstances, but suffice it to say that Olga, while being a most generous and trustworthy soul, is not a person who can afford to have any allegations of untrustworthiness made against her. Let me immediately assure you, Mr <2nd firstname>, that I am in no way suggesting that you are the source, however unwitting, of any besmirching of Olga's honesty (she is as honest as the day is long). No, not at all. But I am led to believe that by your own admission you have family members in whom (not to put too fine a point on it) resides a level of cupidity which leads them to commit the deadly sin of Avarice, and also that you are bedevilled by a faithless wife whose sin is of a rather more carnal nature. God's grace together with your most excellent example of goodness will, I am sure, in time deliver these family members of yours from their awful wickedness, but should this not occur before you, forgive me for saying this given the terminal nature of your dreadful disease, before you are called into the arms of our heavenly Lord above then Olga fears that their sinful avarice will call down upon her blameless person undesirable consequences, the nature of which I am sure an intelligent man of wisdom such as your good self cannot fail to understand. I mean, of course, litigation, perhaps even accusations of criminality, such is their wickedness. Since Olga joined our congregation upon her marriage I have taken her under my wing, so to speak, and I will therefore do everything I can to ensure this does not happen. I hope you understand.

To this end, I feel it may be better to distance Olga from potential lawsuits from your relatives by arranging that the fees due to the <scammer bank> come from Church funds. Would you agree to this?

Now I must also tell you of some good you are doing about which you may be completely oblivious. You do not know it, Mr <2nd firstname>, but dear Olga is a rather timorous woman. We, her friends at St Peter's Church, feel that this great responsibility that you have so generously bestowed upon her will be the making of her. We can only see that her confidence will rise as a result. So we would very much like to thank you personally. And we intend to express our gratitude in more than mere words: we would like you to name your most deserving cause to which we may allocate church funds as part of our charitable work. Isn't that wonderful! This monetization of our thanks will be independent of your own rather more substantial charitable giving and can procede immediately using ready money currently held by St Peter's.

We are prepared to donate £1000 in UK sterling (or its equivalent in Euros if you prefer) to whichever cause you name. Perhaps the hospital in which you are currently receiving treatment? But we leave the choice to you.

I look forward to your prompt reply, Mr <2nd firstname>, both the answer to my question and the name and details of the organisation to which you would have us donate, and I leave you with the certain knowledge that you are foremost in our prayers. God bless you, unreservedly and forever.

I am yours with utmost sincerity,
Prim Andproper

So I buried a juicy carrot in all that waffle and I'm pretty sure it was missed, at least initially, by the scammer. He probably read none of it, but he does later on in the bait. Until then the doctor wants nothing to do with <baiter 2>, and who can blame him?

More to follow... (Don't worry, <baiter 2> does become more consise when she needs to be.)

Wannabe Baiter Joined: 18 Jan 2008 Posts: 81

Olga tells the doctor the wonderful news that Prim will pay:

Quote:

dere mr <firstname>

i have ver good thing for tell you. i went the church and i bak now. i meet my frend mrs prim ther and she toll me not pay fees for yor money in <scammer bank> bcaus yor bad famly wil blame me for cheetin you for yor mony

so i not pay

mrs prim will pay from church fund, so i will send mrs prim the emal for <personal name> bank nomber

mrs prim say she emal you an you not reply

she want to kno you agre for church to pay bcause church money is for charity so pleas tell mrs prim this ok bcaus she wont let me pay

you mus tell her ok

god bless you mr <firstname>
olga

Looks like he neglected to read her email:

Quote:

Hello Olga,

Thanks for your email,Please make sure you will get the payment done this morning,Go to the bank and get the fees transfer fast.

Thanks

Dr <firstname firstname>

A gentle reminder from Olga:

Quote:

mr <firstname>

you not rede my emal last nite?

i not go bank, mrs prim go but you must emal her 1st

thankyou from yor frend
olga

Oh, dear. The doctor isn't happy with this arrangement:

Quote:

Hello Olga,

Listen to me i am dealing with you ,not your friend,you too can do your thing and pay the money,After today if you did not send the shipment fees i will cancel transaction and give your place to somebody serious.

Thanks
Dr <firstname firstname>

So he's threatening us with the loss of his millions. My plan was to let him stew for a while and then call his bluff with an email heaping blame on him for losing us the money. But as it turned out, without any prompting from me, he changed his mind. I guess he finally managed to wade through to the end of Prim Andproper's bloatfest of an email. Or maybe he got another lad to suffer its pain and give him its gist.

He wrote to Prim:

Quote:

Hello Ms Prim Andproper,

Thanks for your mail,I want you to know that you have nothing to be worried about in this transaction ,i don't have any family members take note of that,I am the only Son of my late parents,they all late my wife rain away with his boyfriend and sell off my companies and closed all my offshore accounts around the world and run away with 950,000,000 Euros, <wow, what a woman!> thank God she did not know about my fund in <scammer bank> she would have collected too but thank She did not know about this <multi-million USD fortune> .

I don't have problem you paying with Church money go on and send the fees needed <several thousand Euros> to the <scammer bank> now.

I don't have any charity organisations on my mind,i will like you to help Choose the charity organisations that you will distribute the fund.

Thanks

Well, he's changed his story about his grasping family. And the carrot seems to have eluded him, but not for long. Before Prim can reply he sends this:

Quote:

Hello Ms Prim ,

You mean the church is £1000 donating to me?

Thanks

Well, not quite. In his dying days he'll have no need for £1000, but that doesn't stop him trying to get it.

As an aside, while the doctor is communicating with Prim, he's also keeping Olga updated (I've omitted these emails). There's really no need - Olga is fully aware of what's going on. But it keeps the doctor busy and that can't be bad.

More to follow...

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 05 Jan 2017 Posts: 790

Ahhhhh yes the battle of the dangling carrots

Wannabe Baiter Joined: 18 Jan 2008 Posts: 81

OK, from now on I'm going to obfuscate all names, including those of banks and places, without using angled brackets. Some amounts of money will be changed too. I'll restrict the brackets to my own comments within quoted text.

So, our story continues with Prim's joy at finally getting a reply from the doctor (whom I will call Dr Pete Andrew).

Quote:

Dear Pete Andrew,

Thank you so very much for your most gracious reply. I understand, and indeed see from the images you kindly sent, that a man in your dreadfully distressing situation must needs call upon the grace of God for the fortitude necessary to expedite the charitable distribution of your remaining wealth (how awfully wicked of that Jezebel, your wife, to have bereaved you of its greater portion), and I thank God myself that He has seen fit to bless with it the most worthy and generous of men, I mean of course, your good self.

Now I will answer the question in your second email letter. First of all, I apologise most sincerely if you, an immensely wealthy and magnificently generous man, felt insulted by the offer of such a paltry amount. Please understand that no insult was intended, no, none at all. I know that such a trivial amount means nothing to you, but to a hospital, orphanage or school it may mean something, however little. We would like to donate to some such organisation in your honour. If you know the name of the director or head of one or other, maybe the director of the hospital in which you are receiving treatment, then our Church will gladly donate to him £1000 (or its equivalent in Euros) for the benefit of his institution. I hope that's clear and I pray that God will guide you in choosing a deserving recipient, should you be up to making the choice in your weakened state of health.

Let me conclude by saying that I am at this very moment about to abandon my domestic duties (something I do rather gleefully, I blush to add) and drive down to our Church's bank and make the payment. Olga has given me all the necessary details. You may expect to hear from me upon my return the good news that payment has been made and we may progress our transaction to the delivery of the consignment.

I am yours with utmost sincerity and gratitude,
Prim Andproper

Needless to say, Pete certainly was up to choosing a recipient for the £1000 and in due course Prim got an email from the director of Pete's hospital. It was headed:

Quote:

Hello Ms Prim Andproper, Director of the hospital that Dr Pete Andrew is now

I'm omitting this side bait but if it goes anywhere I'll created another thread for it.

Pete somehow neglects to give Prim a crucial instruction before she sets off to make the payment - she doesn't know to keep the payment slip. So, on her return it's all good news as far as she knows:

Quote:

Dear Pete,

I'm back home from the bank and am delighted to inform you that payment has been successfully made.

I'm so excited that we may now move on to transferring the consignment. Please advise me when I can expect its arrival.

As to our donation to your hospital, please ask the director of the hospital to contact me by email; there are a few minor details that the Church needs before we can release the money. <Minor details? Yeah, right!>

Yours sincerely,
Prim

I'm omitting the crap ScammiBank now sends to Prim - it's all badly written requests for the payment slip. Pete asks for the slip too:

Quote:

Hello Ms Prim,

Please send me the payment slip so that i will forward it to ScammiBank for the confirmation of the payment.

Please scan the payment receipt and attach it send to me now.

Thanks

Prim gives Pete the bad news:

Quote:

Dear Dr Andrew,

Do I appear to you the kind of woman who would litter her person with meaningless receipts? I may have left it in the glovebox of my car but I don't know, and I don't at this moment have time to look.

So, while I'm busy with my Church duties this afternoon I suggest you get your act together and arrange for that ScammiBank to expedite the consignment delivery without delay.

I'm off to Church now; I expect a favourable reply from you upon my return.

Good day to you,
Prim Andproper

I don't think this is the reply Prim was expecting from Pete:

Quote:

Hello Ms Prim,

Listen to me without the payment slip you have not made the payment,Send the payment receipt now,the ScammiBank will make the shipment with the payment slip.

Thanks

No, not quite what Prim expected:

Quote:

Mr Andrew,

This is not the reply I expected from a man of your wisdom. You have quite ruined my evening.

I am going now to my bed. I will sleep on this and you will hear from me again on the morrow.

Good night, sir.
Prim Andproper (Mrs)

Earlier, Prim had uncharacteristicly little to say to ScammiBank; this is the only email of substance she sent it (in response to a request for the slip, of course):

Quote:

No, just check for my payment in your account's paid in column; that should be sufficient.

Pete sends further emails going over the same old ground, including one to Olga:

Quote:

Hello Ms Olga,

Please go to your friend Ms Prim ask her for the payment slip of many thousand Euro she said you sent to the ScammiBank account given to you.

Thanks

He's lucky Olga is still up this late to reply:

Quote:

it ver late now mr pete, i go morning tomorow to her house an ask her

wil we get yor moneys soon?

olga

Pete's last email of the night is typical of what he's been sending to both baiting accounts all day:

Quote:

Hello Ms Olga,

With out payment slip she did not sent the money okay.

Thanks

Dr Pete Andrew

The next day Olga is over at Prim's house. Prim, in a rather more conciliatory mood than Pete deserves, emails our scammer:

Quote:

Dear Mr Andrew,

I write to inform you that, while I don't understand your concern about the payment slip (I attribute it to the disorientation of your mind by the drugs treating your cancer), I am, in the circumstances, prepared to humour you.

I have asked Olga, who is right now here in my house cleaning for me, to look for the slip as she works. And when she has finished her duties inside the house I will ask her to go outside and search my car.

Now, what I find even harder to understand is the incompetence of ScammiBank. I know that you are their client and that they are providing a service to you, so I must assume that their issue with the slip is at your insistence. I find it all rather unprofessional, though.

So, understand this, Mr Andrew. Since ScammiBank is acting for you, I will deal with you, not ScammiBank.

I refuse to correspond with the company. I expect you to find a resolution. For my part, I will inform you when we have found the payment slip. In the meantime I intend to facilitate the payment of our donation to the director of your hospital.

Finally, Mr Andrew, against my better nature I feel compelled to vent my spleen. It seems to me that you, a most successful businessman, have made two exceedingly bad decisions in you life. The first was to marry a woman who, let's face it, is a filthy, avaricious and debauched whore, and the second was to entrust the safeguarding of your wealth to the most incompetent company with which it has ever been my displeasure to deal.

You have, at least, made one good decision, and that is to employ us, Redacted Charity Name, in furthering your very generous charitable giving. For that I thank you.

So I remain yours sincerely,
Prim Andproper

Actually, all three decisions to which Prim refers are bad for Pete. His one good decision is to place himself in the care of the so far unnamed hospital. It is doing an incredibly good job of keeping alive its terminally ill patient.

Pete now makes a pathetic and unnecessary attempt to justify the need for the slip:

Quote:

Hello Ms Prim Andproper,

Thanks for your email, Please i want you to know that ScammiBank is Right you can't just come out and said you made the payment with out the confirmation of the payment you made, I told you before you went to the bank sent us the payment slip once you done with the payment,The Account given to you is a Company Account many payments are coming in to the account,so without the payment slip they cannot confirm that you made the transfer,you will have to go back to your bank to get the slip now.

Thanks

No, Pete, you didn't tell Prim to send the slip. With that we're up to date. More to follow (I hope) ...

Posted: Wed Aug 28, 2019 6:55 pm

Ask him to send you a copy of his bank statement so you can point out the payment you made to him – that should be receipt enough

(and put him on the back foot) …..

Wannabe Baiter Joined: 18 Jan 2008 Posts: 81

@Purple, unfortunately that's not a modality open to me, as you'll see.

Good news! The payment slip has been found:

Quote:

Dear Pete Andrew,

Olga found the payment receipt in the glovebox of my car.

I suppose that's good news but I still don't understand why.

Anyway, I'm popping out now to my local public library where they have a device for scanning documents. You will receive a scanned image of the slip in due course.

Yours,
Prim Andproper

Pete:

Quote:

Hello Ms Prim Andproper,

I am waiting for the payment slip from you, You can screenshot the slip and send to me.

Thanks

Bad news! The bank rang while Prim was out:

Quote:

Dear Pete Andrew,

There seems to have been a problem with the payment.

Upon my return from the library I found a message on my telephone answering machine. It was from my local bank. They failed to make the payment to ScammiBank because of an irregularity with its account. I don't know any further details.

The money is now being held in the suspense account of my bank, pending investigation. It will then either be returned to the Church Fund or paid to your ScammiBank company.

I am sorry the money has not yet reached the company, but, to be frank, I strongly suspect it to be the company's fault.

I don't know where this leaves our transaction. What do you suggest?

Yours sincerely,
Prim Andproper

Pete's not happy:

Quote:

Hello Ms Prim,

You are a lying you did not made any payment at the first place,Because am asking you for the payment slip ,because you don't have it you come up with story .

Where is the payment slip????

Thanks

No one as prim and proper as our heroine takes it well when her integrity is questioned:

Quote:

Are you accusing me of embezzlement? How dare you! You are an absolute disgrace, you TURTLE EGG!

You must now apologise before I have any more dealings with you. Why, if I had my way I'd stop the award to your hospital. I could do, you know, I haven't wired the money yet. I shall certainly insist the committee makes no further awards unless you apologise forthwith.

Pete replied:

Quote:

Yes you can do that,I hate jokers ,Where is the payment slip of the many thousand Euro you said you sent yesterday

Prim wrote still insisting on an apology:

Quote:

That doesn't read much like an apology to me, Pete. You will get nothing from me unless you apologise.

Tomorrow I will contact my bank and have the money in the suspense account returned to the Church. And then I will be done with you.

You will need to find some other charitable organisation to handle your consignment.

Pete also emailed Olga with the "joker" accusation:

Quote:

Hello Ms Olga,

You and friend Prim is joker with me,I will be cancelling the transaction with you ,you are waste time in sending the fees needed since, Your friend said that she made payment yesterday ,where is the payment slip she did until now i have not seen and the money is not the account.

Thanks

Dr PETE Andrew

So it looks like he's rumbled me. There is a little more, however.

After a while Pete sent his apology:

Quote:

Hello Ms Prim,

Okay that is what you want I am sorry forgive me Ms Prim, But you must send the payment slip to prove me wrong okay.

I wait for the slip.

Thanks

I have to confess I composed Prim's reply after a few pints down my local, and that was a mistake. What I intended was for this main bait to end while retaining my credibility to pursue the side bait.

Quote:

Pete,

This business ended badly, I know. We both failed in some way or other and therefore recriminations were inevitable. For my part, I fell from what God desires of us; I allowed negative emotions get the better of me.

As for you, well, you wrote that I am something you hate. I deny that I am that thing. But even if it were true you should not hate me. And you should not hate Olga. Because we are your friends.

I wish you well, and also your wife (should she repent of her wickedness).

God's blessing on you, Pete. And goodbye.

All this seems to have done is confirm my joker status. Pete replied:

Quote:

You are a big lying and joker,I know that you did not make any payment that is why you don't have the payment slip,may God forgive you for your lies.

Do not write me again

So it seems that's the end of this bait and its offshoot. At least I got two bank accounts reported. Thanks for reading.

Posted: Thu Aug 29, 2019 11:06 am

He called you a joker, twice?! How dare he, just as you were going to suggest to send the money through Western Union.

Now if he would formally apologize the air would be cleared, and you could go to Western Union.

Wannabe Baiter Joined: 18 Jan 2008 Posts: 81

That's a great form, Bertje. I'll definitely use it if I can.

This lad doesn't know where his best interests lie. In the side bait I strongly suggested to him that I'm prepared to use Western Union. I even stated that my charitable foundation had previously used it to make several large donations to the agent of a certain Dr Evans Egobia.

Still he insists on payment to a bank. He's daft, I reckon.

Posted: Thu Aug 29, 2019 11:36 am

Perhaps he's got security concerns when using Western Union? I may know of the perfect solution .... Very Happy

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