Robert: Monument of Faith pg 7

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Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Sep 2013 Posts: 2210

Pastor Moses is happy with his work.

Quote:

Thank you for the completion of the form my son. I will bring your work to the Elders for approval. I am impressed with your work, and I expect that the Elders will approve of it as well. One they have notified me of their decision I will let you know if you have passed your Stage 1.

Pastor Moses

Posted: Fri Jan 26, 2018 8:23 pm

Those drawings are so good, he should be commissioned to design the murals for the church. I'm sure it pays well.

Baiting Guru Joined: 10 Oct 2010 Posts: 3877

my guess:

he became circumcised when he was very young.

and that causes some problems for him. or maybe it was a more severe procedure after an accident.

maybe give him some sort of help by telling him, that the old god just does not like people who have done these procedures willingly on their bodies.

but, it needs to be examined by a professional, on pictures. Wink

Posted: Sat Jan 27, 2018 8:30 am

Muhahahaha!
Of course he can always prove this ... through 2-3 photos. If he is ashamed, he can cover his head with a bag of paper. Right? Laughing

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Sep 2013 Posts: 2210

Quote:

Dear Pastor Moses,

Thanks for your message and i will be expecting your message this Monday having shown the elders the form.

God bless you sir.

Approval!

Quote:

Yes indeed my son,

I am delighted to tell you that the Elders have approved your Stage 1 Questions and Visual Interpretations. Congratulations! You should feel great warmth knowing that the Elders were so impressed with your works. It was clear that the Old Gods had come to you with their guidance and wisdom.

Are you ready to proceed with Stage 2 of your membership?

Pastor Moses

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Sep 2013 Posts: 2210

He's ready for Stage 2:

Quote:

Dear Pastor Moses,

Thanks for the good news sir; I look forward to hear from you on the second stage.

So Pastor Moses introduces the next stage:

Quote:

Wonderful my son!

I will now introduce you to Stage 2: Devolution. While this stage is relatively simple to complete, it is important because you will show to the Elders that you have agreed to give yourself to the ways of the Old Gods. To complete Stage 2 you must do the following:

1. Remove all clothes and wrap yourself in a white sheet, covering your legs and penis but leaving your chest and face exposed.
2. Go outside into a large open area, preferably a field or other area with short grass where you can see the sky clearly.
3. Make a large sign that reads "I Surrender My Tender Body to the Old Gods"
4. Hold this sign overhead while wearing the white sheet. Have a friend or acquaintance photograph the Devolution process.

Once you have documented this, send the photograph to me through the computer and I will then submit it to the Elders for approval.

Pastor Moses

Posted: Sat Feb 03, 2018 4:29 pm

This is new, and quite hilarious. Hopefully he goes through with it.

Posted: Tue Feb 06, 2018 5:11 am

Roger was pleased to hear that the lad passed Stage 1:

Quote:

Wow, that is wonderful news, and I am very happy the Elders approved your stage 1 drawings! I am so exited at how quickly you are moving threw the membership precess!

Pastor Moses will tell you exactly what to do next, but I think the second stage is the devolution picture, which is very impotent for becoming a member of the Church. I remember the day I took my devolution picture for my membership. I was a little nervous invoicing the name of the Holy Saint Marry on my sign, but I knew my Faith in the Old Gods would see me threw. I think you will enjoy this stage of the membership precess very much.

Please let me know when Pastor Moses officially tells you what you should do, and I will help you with anything you need.

He didn't respond for a while, so I poked him today:

Quote:

I have not herd back from you in a while. Is everything going ok with your Church membership precess? I herd from Pastor Moses at Services yesterday that he gave you the task of creating a devolution picture. Did you understood what you need to do? Do you have any questions I can help you with?

Robert is getting skeptical of the process:

Quote:

I got the pastor s email and i was wondering the type of church membership process is this. I will try and get it done and after this if another process is given to me i may not do it. If we serve a living and true God i don't think the process of being a member will be this long.

Roger will address his concerns tomorrow.

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Sep 2013 Posts: 2210

Quote:

i don't think the process of being a member will be this long.

He has no idea. Very Happy

Posted: Wed Feb 07, 2018 5:53 pm

Roger explains why the process seems long:

Quote:

We have had some problems before with jokers and fraud stars who pretended to join the Church by saying they loved the Old Gods, but all they really wanted was the $100,000.00 dollars of grant money that we give to new members. They took our money and disappeared, and we never herd from them again. That is why Pastor Moses and the Elders decided to change the membership precess to test the Faith of new cavorts to the Church and make sure it is real.

In any case, I don’t understand why your upset about the membership precess. If your Faith is pure and strong, and you really want your immoral soul to be saved by the Old Gods, no effort is too much, rite?

Dangling cash always works. Robert quickly reassures Roger that he is not one of those miscreants:

Quote:

I want to thank you for your clarification and I want to assure you that I am not for such act but for real to be a member.

However, I will try my best and get this stage two completed soon sir.

Roger will be pleased about this. I'm excited to see the picture he sends.

Posted: Mon Feb 19, 2018 2:48 am

I hadn't heard back from Robert for a while, so Roger prodded him. Robert complains that he can't fulfill his obligations:

Quote:

I will not ie to you sir, i have tried to do that but honestly i cannot go half naked in an open place and take picture of that nature. If there is any other thing i would do please let me know.

Roger will not be pleased by his lack of devotion.

Posted: Mon Feb 19, 2018 12:52 pm

Quote:

If there is any other thing i would do please let me know.

Any. Other. Thing? Well, that's just asking for trouble.

Posted: Mon Feb 19, 2018 1:11 pm

These baits are always so entertaining. Woke up this morning, grabbed a cup of coffee and was all excited to see this bait had some updates.

Was disappointing that the lad did not sent a picture ... until I saw him ask if there is anything else he can do....

Looking forward to seeing what is to come Very Happy

Posted: Tue Feb 20, 2018 10:17 pm

I'm sure the idiot will prefer going naked in the grass with what the alternative might be Laughing

Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2018 6:15 pm

Roger asks Robert why he can't do the picture:

Quote:

I don't understand, what is the problem with taking the picture? This is a very simple ritualism, and it is required for joining the Church. It is a test of your Faith and your Devolution to the Church and the Old Gods. Are you ashamed of your body cause your fat or something? Well you shouldn't be ashamed, cause you can't help being the way the Old Gods made you.

I will speak to Pastor Moses to see what we should do about this. But I would proffer that you get serious about your membership and take the devolution picture.

The lad didn't respond for a few days, so Roger offers to talk to Pastor Moses about what he can do instead:

Quote:

I spoke to Pastor Moses at Services yesterday about you not being able to take the devolution picture, and he said their is something you can do in stead of taking the picture. If your still interested in saving your immoral soul by joining the One True Church, you can continue your membership that way.

But you must tell me, are you ready to take this precess seriously? Cause rite now I am not feeling very good about your commitment to the Old Gods and Their Holy Word. You must promise me that you will do what Pastor Moses asks you to do. Can you do that?

Robert agrees to do it:

Quote:

I will do whatever he says for the fact that it is biblical and will not put me in trouble. I am a reputable man and my family is aware of this but to go out there half naked is what i do not understand. But if there is anything again that i can do that will be easy for me by Gods grace i will do it.

So he only wants to do it if it is easy. Such a bad attitude.

Mr L and I will discuss what we want to make him do. But he's given me an idea with his mention of "biblical" things to do... Twisted Evil

Posted: Sat Mar 10, 2018 12:10 am

Roger tells Robert to copy out a book from the Bible:

Quote:

I spoke with Pastor Moses to find out what you could do in stead, since you refuse to take the devolution picture. He had to speak to the Elders to know what to have you do, and that took some time, cause the Elders are very busy, of coarse.

Anyways, the Elders have degreed that you should show your devolution to the Old Gods and the Church in written form in stead. They want you to reflect on the Book of Leviticus from the Bible, than write it out by hand. This is called literary devolution, and it will bring you into closer Communism with the Old Gods. Once your finished, you should send the written pages to Pastor Moses. Do you understand what your suppose to do?

Honestly, I am a little jealous, cause this is truly a wonderful task! Your very lucky that the Elders have allowed you to do this as a stage in your membership. They must see great promise in you!

The lad immediately agrees to do it:

Quote:

THANKS YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR EFFORT, I APPRECIATE IT. HOWEVER, I WILL NOT DISAPPOINT YOU AND WILL JUST DO WHAT YOU HAVE SAID AND SEND TO PASTOR MOSES.

I'm surprised he was so quick to agree. He must not realize yet how much work it will be. I expect I'll start getting complaints sometime next week. Twisted Evil

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Sep 2013 Posts: 2210

Quote:

I am a little jealous, cause this is truly a wonderful task!

Isn't it though! Laughing

He's been silent with me all this time, I'm surprised he agreed so quickly and will be even more surprised if he actually delivers.

Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2018 1:03 pm

Hilts gets annoyed that Robert isn't keeping him updated:

Quote:

Dude, what the fuck is going on? Your not telling me a goddam thing about what’s going on with the job! Are you on track for the church membership? Or are you just sitting around holding your dick with a thumb up your ass?

Did you do that picture they were asking you for? You gotta keep me updated so I know what’s going on, dude. I’m flying blind otherwise, understand?

Robert apologizes and updates him:

Quote:

SORRY FOR MY LATE RESPONSE, THEY GAVE ME ANOTHER TASK TO DO WHICH I WILL DO TODAY (that's ambitious) AND SEND TO THE PASTOR. SO PLEASE RELAX I AM COMING CLOSER TO THE MEMBERSHIP OF THE CHURCH. (Nope) I WILL KEEP UPDATED PLEASE.

Hilts asks for more details:

Quote:

Dude, what other task? Details! I need details! Cause if that idiot Roger comes in and wants to talk with me about it, I gotta know what the fuck I'm gonna say.

Seriously, why do you always half ass everything?

Meanwhile, Roger urges Robert to do the Bible writing thoroughly:

Quote:

Good, I am glad to hear your taking this seriously. Try to complete your literary devolution stage as soon as possible, but be through and make sure you do it rite. I’m sure you agree that the least thing we want to do is get sloppy with writing out the Holy Word of the Bible!

Please let me know if you need help with anything, or if you have any questions.

As I suspected, Robert didn't understand the task:

Quote:

Please i want to know if i will use the whole of Leviticus from the bible to do the devolution? please let me know urgently. And please explain to me the kn=ind of thing expected of me to do here in writing. urgently i need your response to complete this.

I don't know how it could be hard to understand "write out the Book of Leviticus". But Roger will explain it to him again tomorrow.

Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2018 4:10 am

Roger clarifies that Robert has to copy out the whole Book of Leviticus:

Quote:

Yes, of coarse your using the whole Book of Leviticus! I thought you said you understand the task the Elders have gave you?

That’s ok, I will explicate it again for you: You need to copy out the Book of Leviticus in your own handwriting. This to show the depths of your literary devolution. Than once your done, you need to send the writing to Pastor Moses. Do you understand now?

I am very exited about this, and I can’t wait to see what you send Pastor Moses!

The lad agrees to do it, but he is already aware it will be a big job:

Quote:

I got your message and i want to thank you for clarifications. However, to get this done will consume a lot of time but i will try and at any point i stop i will send it to the pastor. But inform the pastor to have patie4nce with me as this will take me time to get it done.

As far as I'm concerned, he can take as long as he needs. Twisted Evil

Posted: Mon Mar 26, 2018 10:43 pm

Robert gives Roger an update. Seems he is making good progress:

Quote:

Thanks for your email sir, you know i am a very busy man but at the moment i have written two chapters of the Leviticus and i am about writing the third chapter and once i am done with the third chapter i will scan them to the pastor.

Please help me to talk to the man of God Pastor moses that i am a busy person and i will be sending to him this week one to third chapters of the Leviticus and that he should know that i have already surrendered to the will of the Old Gods.

I thank you for helping me achieve this sir, while expecting to hear from you.

I can't wait to see how this turns out.

Roger urges him to take his time to do it right:

Quote:

I am very pleased to hear that your making progress on your literary devolution! I will defiantly speak to Pastor Moses and let him know your doing good work on this. I think he will be exited too.

Please try to get this done as soon as you can, but take the time to do it properly. We would rather you take longer and do it rite then have you rush threw it and make mistakes.

I'm perfectly happy with him taking as long as he needs and wasting more of his time. Very Happy

Posted: Mon Mar 26, 2018 11:05 pm

I am very excited to see his results soon. Does the church need an official calligrapher? Assuming the results are satisfactory, I am sure he would love to volunteer his time to write out more books. That is, if you do not have something else planned for him.

Posted: Wed Mar 28, 2018 3:10 am

Robert clarifies his previous email, saying he doesn't want to write the rest of Leviticus past Chapter 3:

Quote:

Thanks for your email and i will try my best but i was saying that you can assist me inform the pastor that due to my busy schedules i may not write the the chapters in Leviticus that he should consider me.

Again i want you to know that i have already surrendered to the old gods.

Lazy lad. Of course he wants to skive off doing the rest of it. Roger will push back on this tomorrow.

Posted: Wed Mar 28, 2018 3:56 pm

I'm sure Roger can inspire the lad with a story of his own experience.

Posted: Fri Apr 06, 2018 3:54 am

Roger tells the lad he needs to do all of Leviticus:

Quote:

Oh, but you must do the rest of the writing! That is the whole point of the literary devolution stage! You can’t be surrendered to the Old Gods without you have finished all the stages of the membership precess, and that includes the literary devolution! And the Elders are the only ones who can say who is surrendered to the Old Gods and who isn’t. You can’t just say you are by yourself!

Robert, the Elders are very serious about this precess, and they always incest that new members fallow all the forms completely and fully. I can speak to Pastor Moses on your behave, but I am sure he won't let you pass this stage without finishing the full Book of Leviticus like you promised you would do. Remember, your the one who didn't wanted to take the devolution picture before, and the Elders were understanding and allowed you to do this in stead. Now your saying you don't want to do this neither?

I just don't understand why you would act like this.

Robert asks if he should send what he has now:

Quote:

Please sir should i send to the pastor the ones i have written already or i should wait until i complete them all? Please advise.

I want to believe that after this devolution i will be admitted into your church as a new member sir.

Roger tells him he can send it in pieces:

Quote:

You can send what you have done already to him now, so he can review your work and tell you if your doing it rite. But you really should work as hard as you can to finish it soon. We don't want any more delays with the precess, and I still want to claim my fund.

Robert says he will send the scans in a couple days:

Quote:

I want to than you for standing for me there. However, i will be sending to him the ones i have done in two days time sir.

I know he and the elders will accept me into your church. Meanwhile, you fund is intact sir and once my membership is concluded we can get your fund transfer concluded immediately.

I will send copies of my work to you also.

We'll see what he sends.

Posted: Fri Apr 06, 2018 3:39 pm

When the lad sends through the writings, any and all errors (spelling, grammar, omissions etc... and there are bound to be some) should count against him

Twisted Evil

Meaning he has to make reparations for his lack of faith, which is the obvious cause of the mistakes.

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