Thanks for wasting my time

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Posted: Fri Dec 01, 2017 8:49 pm

Another google hangout lad, I’ve been getting a bunch of ‘em. Never a genius in the bunch.
This is after a couple days of blather, we’ll skip to the good stuff.

PART ONE – THE TRANSACTION IS ILLEGAL

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Lad: From our investigation we find out that you sent money to one Mrs R0se J0hnson, (this lad: http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=288976)

(Methinks one lad is in another lad’s email…)

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Me: i've been trying to but she never reads my messages

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Lad: So the transaction was Illegal

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Me: WHAT?!?!
what do you mean?

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Lad: We found out that she is a fraudster and have been taken so much money from you since

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Me: well she's not very good at it, i haven't sent her any money at all because she's too damn stupid to read any of my emails.
lucky for me!
she's a crook?
how do you know?

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Lad: Your email is on our hard disc.

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Me: i wish she would read my emails, i'm surely going to give her a piece of my mind,
the bitch

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Lad: How much have you paid out to them now

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Me: nothing, like i said she never read my emails
she kept telling me to send money with moneygram and we don't have that here
the thieving little bitch.
are you going to arrest her?

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Lad: Yes after some investigation

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Me: i can send you all the emails she sent me if you want. what's your address?
there's a shitload of them

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(I bombed him with a pile of ‘em, pretending not to see his reply.)

Lad: Okay you don't need to the emails she sent to you

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Lad: Okay you don't need to the emails she sent to you. Because before we start any of our investigation or the release of your fund we will need your email password, I know is your privacy but we need it here to enable us proceed with investigation and make sure you receive your fund without any delay okay

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Me: i would never give my password to someone on the internet
that's ridiculous
and i think this is just Mr. Ray again, isn't it?

(Just a wrinkle to add another layer later.)

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Lad: Who is Mr. Ray

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Me: someone else who asked for my password. he didn't get it and neither will you

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Lad: Okay
Don't worry it is not good to give out password
We will carry out the investigation here in our okay
Since you don't give it out to someone we don't force people to do what they do not like

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Lad: good, that would be dangerous
the nurse is coming to take the computer, will you be on line tomorrow so i can talk about the money?

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Lad: Okay

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Me: Here's information for your investigation, it has here phone number in it

(A new day dawns and I slam him with a huge pile of emails from the “fraudster”.)

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Lad: Okay

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Me: what's going on?

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Lad: Everything is fine let talk on you can receive your fund okay

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Me: okay, that's very exciting

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Lad: Like I said yesterday I met your file
at the security strong room with every other transactions relevant documents
without the International Fund Release Clearance Permit Certificate.

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Me: amazing
so how are you going to send it to me?
and when?

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PART 2 – TIME FOR SOME STRAIGHT BAITING

Lad: Security Order: the amount registered in your favor is $18, 800,000,00 dollars
which you have to secure the below documents to enable our appointed agents in
Washington Field 00000 601 5th Street NW to release your funds according to
international government protocols or I will submit your file for legal
prosecution if you refuse to procure the needed certificate which will only
cost you only $786 dollars through independent corrupt practices commission
(ICPC). to secure the International Fund Release Clearance Permit Certificate
okay.

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Me: okay, then just take it out of the money and then we're done, nice and simple

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Lad: Is not possible because if it is possible we would have not let you know about the fee okay

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Me: oh, okay, that makes sense

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Lad: So I want to try and see what you can do to send the $786 so that I will secure the International Fund Release Clearance Permit Certificate okay.

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Me: okay, where should i mail a check?

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Lad: I will like you to send it Via bank to bank transfer okay

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Me: okay, that will work. i've done that before

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Lad: Like how long will it take you from now to transfer the money

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Me: i can have my nurse help me, probably today

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(He gets a little spooked at the thought of someone else getting involved.)

Lad: Who is the nurse

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Me: his name is robert, he helps me here in the hospice
at my age it's not easy to do things for myself

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Lad: Can you give his email address

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Me” i'll ask him for it when i see him after lunch
what's your email? i can give that to him

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Lad: And his phone number

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Me: okay

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Lad: How long from now as there is no time to waste

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Me: i have to get off the computer and go to lunch now so i will probably see him there

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Lad: okay

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Me: i'll be back on the computer in a few hours and will talk to you then

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(Four days later, after the Thanksgiving holiday weekend.)

Lad: Hello Carling Christie how are you and what bis going on I did not hear from you since I hope all fine

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Me: hello
what happened? i never got the account

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Lad: I told to give me the number and email of the nurse

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Me: he's gone because of the holiday, if you give it to me i can find someone to help

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Lad: Can you give me his email

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Me: [email protected]
but he's gone right now
if you send it to me i can get someone else to help

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Lad: YES

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is it a US account?
that's the easiest

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Lad: Am still concerned c

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Me: about what?

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Lad: about Robert

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Me: ???

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Lad: I need to know more about him
Why would you trust him

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Me: what?
he's not here, i'm going to take care of it myself
you're not making sense

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Lad: You can't trust someone to help you in this kind of situation

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Me: then i'll try to do it myself i guess

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(Another day passes.)

Me: where are you

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Lad: Since you going to send it your self
Send it MG Money Gram or western union

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Me: i don't think we have those but will find out for you and get back to you tomorrow
i have to get off the computer now

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Lad: Okay

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(Yet another day goes by.)

Lad: Hello
How are you doing today.

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Me: we don't have western union or moneygram here. i'm not surprised, it's a really small place
i think the account might be the only way

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Lad: Okay

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Me: sorry, like i said it's a really small place. we don't have much here

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Lad: How long will it take you from now to transfer the money

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Me: a day i suppose, i have to find a way to get to the bank

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Lad: or is robert going to help you

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Me: he;s on vacation still

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Lad: okay I will give you the account soon
now

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Me: okay

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Lad: Hello sorry for the delay.

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Me: hello

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Lad: Here is the bank account details to send the fee of $786 and get back to me
immediately with payment slip after you made the transfer with this bank account
information to receive your funds to you successful without any delay Ok.

(An account with so many misspellings that it would never work, the name of the town didn’t exist at all. Many thanks to the mods that handle such things.)

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Me: okay, i'll do what i can to send it today

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Lad: okay don't keep me waiting for along time
I waiting okay

okay

Me: i have to go to lunch, will contact you later

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Lad: Today or tomorrow?

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Me: not sure yet, i'll let you know

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Lad: Am waiting

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(The next day.)

Me: i went to the bank and they said there's so such place as ynon ny
what the hell?

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Lad: Hello am sorry I made a very big mistake in that bank account info

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Me: i was embarassed at my bank, it made me look like in idiot

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Lad: Am sorry are you still at the bank

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Me: no, that was yesterday

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Lad: Okay I will send you the correct bank account info now am sorry
Will you be able to make the transfer today

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Me: i'll try

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Lad: Here is the bank account details to send the fee of $786 and get back to me
immediately with payment slip after you made the transfer with this bank account
information to receive your funds to you successful without any delay Ok.

(Oink. A good one this time.)

Get back to me with the payment slip as soon as you make the transfer okay.

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Me: i'll try

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PART 3 – THE SEX OFFENDER AND THE SECOND PIGGIE

(So here’s where things get fun. The account holder’s name was a unique one so I googled it and found him in the registered sex offenders database. They don’t give a house number but the street address matched so I knew I had his guy. A really solid citizen, raped a 14-year-old girl and spent a couple decades in jail. Too bad for the lad that I have some religious issues with that…)

Me, the next day: is this person someone you know very well?

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Lad: yes

Me: then why are you having me send money to a criminal?
https://nysexoffenders.com/offender/xxxxxxxxxxx
he raped a little girl...what the hell?!

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Lad: If you are able to make the transfer today in less than 12 working hours you will receive your fund okay

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Me: Answer my question, what the hell is the fbi doing working with a convicted rapist?

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Lad: Every thing is alright now

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Me: he's a registered sex offender, that is NOT all right
i refuse to have anything to do with a monster like that

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Lad: Listen you are not doing any thing with him

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Me: i am a god-fearing man and i will NOT do ANY business with someone who attacks little girls. my soul would go straight to hell
surely you must see that

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Lad: He is only responsible in receiving the money

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Me: not from he isn't
i would rather give up my money than send anything to a pedophile
if we're going to make this work you'll need to have me send it to someone else

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Lad: He is not the person to deliver your fund but if you can not send the fee to the account I will give you an other account

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(Let the pig wrestling begin.)

Me: please do, i will NOT send it to him
i can probably go back to the bank today if you send it

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Lad: Will you be able to make a deposit in Citi bank north America

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Me: i don't see why not

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Lad: Did you have any of there citi bank branch near you

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Me: no, we only have a small satellite office of the local bank
but i can send to citi bank, no problem
sending to US banks is easy

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Lad: I just called my director he said you should go ahead and send the fee to xxxxxxxxxxx

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Me: NO
i'm not selling my soul for that pedophile animal
i'd rather not get the money at all than do business with someone who raped a 14 year old girl
he should be in jail until he rots
god will strike him down

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Lad: The account I have now is not a use account

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Me: if it's not a US account there may be a hold on the money for a few days, i known that can happen

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Lad: Then you have to send it to xxxxxx

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Me: I told you NO
what country is the other account in

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Lad: He can be able to get the money as soon as you send today

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Me: NO
like i said, what country is the other account

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Lad: Nigeria

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Me: in africa? what is the fbi doing with africa?
i don't understand

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Lad: We Have a representative offices in some Africa countries okay

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Me: i never knew that
why?

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Lad: You have noting to worry about

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Me:

when i go to the bank i'll find out if there will be a hold, i'll tell them it's for the fbi, that will probably help (A setup for coming back and saying that the bank wouldn’t do it because it’s a scam.)

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Lad: Due to our various investigations we have to set up a representative office in some countries to make our work easier for us okay

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(This ended up being really funny, who knew that one wisecrack could be so entertaining?)

Me: my tax dollars at work

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Lad: What did you mean

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Me: just making a joke, i pay taxes so the government can do things
like have an fbi office in africa

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Lad: What tax did you pay

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Me: i paid taxes all my life, that's the way it works

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Lad: I don't understand you

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Me: don't you pay income tax?
when you get a paycheck?

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Lad: Yes I do
But

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Me: that's pretty funny, your paycheck comes from taxpayers so you're sort of paying yourself
😄

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Lad: I don't understand you anymore

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Me: i'm just making a joke
about taxes
do you have the account so i can get to the bank

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Lad: Listen
I don't joke with any serious issue
I hate jokes
Are interested in this transaction or not

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Me: of course i am, don't be mad
i guess fbi agents don't have much of a sense of humor

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Lad: I gave you an account instead of sending the fee you told me he is a rapist

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Me: that's because he is, did you not look at the sex offender link i sent? i was serious
it even has the street name on it, so i know that it's him
the scumbag
read the page, it says 1 Conviction
Sexual Abuse 1st Degree:Contact By Forcible Compulsion
Sexual Intercourse, Deviate Sexual Intercourse, Sexual Contact
Victim
Female, 14 Years
that's terrible
14 year old girl
forcible = rape and i will NOT do business with that man
ever
you said you had another account in nigeria

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Lad: That is non of your business

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Me: are you not paying attention? i told you that i would rather not get my money at all than do business with a rapist

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Lad: And now am trying to get you another account

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Me: okay

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Lad: All that is requested from you is to send the fee to him, you are not doing any business with him

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Me: I told you no and that is final, i made myself very clear

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Lad: Am trying to get another account

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Me: good

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Lad: But you are joking with me

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Me: i was just making a joke, that's all
you're too serious
forget it

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Lad: I think you are not ready

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Me: what is that supposed to mean
taxes suck, i was just trying to be funny about it

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Lad: I don't joke when am working and don't try to be funny with this transaction

Me: okay, sorry
i have to leave in a few minutes, do you have the account

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Lad: I don't need any excuses from you anymore

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i'm not making any excuses
i'm trying to make this work just like you

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Lad: Really

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Me: of course

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Lad: I don't think so
You are just making things complicated here

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Me: what do you mean? i already went to the bank once and will again
what's the problem?

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Lad: You are suppose to send the money to xxxxxxx but you said no

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Me: that's right, god will strike that monster down and i will NOT sell my soul
i explained that to you already, he is pure evil and i will send him nothing'

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Lad; Note: you are not sending it to him but to our office

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Me: no, you gave me HIS account and i will NOT send anything to him and dirty my hands with his filth]
so stop asking
i would rather get nothing than to have anything to do with him

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Lad: I will send you a bank account details now

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Me: okay
i have to leave soon but will be back later in the day

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Lad: Just go to the bank and make the transfer okay

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Me: i will
if you send it now, i can but i have to leave in 5 minutes

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(Oink #2, that was a lot or work but at least I was entertained.)

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Me: okay
i will contact you when i get back

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Lad: Get back to me the payment slip okay

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(A day goes by.)

PART 4 – BANK CONFUSION

Lad: Hello what is the update now

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Me: sorry i missed you
we have a problem that we need to discuss

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Lad: Hello what is the problem

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(The poor lad…)

Me: the bank manager wouldn’t do the transfer
he said it’s a scam and you're not with the fbi
why would he do that?

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Lad: What did you mean
You said you will go to the bank and do the transfer

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Me: i told him i was sending the money to the fbi and he send that you were scamming me

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Lad: This is a story
I don't have much time to waste anymore

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Me: i'm not sure what to do, i don't know if this is all real or not

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Lad: Why the hell will I scam an old man like you
I am fighting against scam and you are c

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Me: i don't know, but i'm worried
do you have proof that this is real?

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Lad: I told you that there is no need to worry
I have many prove but I don't think i still have time for this transaction you have wasted a lot of my time

(Yup, and I’m not quite done yet.)

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Me: i have done no such thing, what are you talking about
i have done everything you asked

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Lad: Thanks for time I hate it when people talk about scam in a transaction am doing.

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Me: i'm not happy about it either, i need you to help me here
i want to go back to the bank and prove that you are honest

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Lad: You have wasted a lot of my time and you are talking about scam
I hate myself for this

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Me: the bank manager is the one who said it, we need to work together to show him it's not.
there's no need to hate yourself, we just need to help each other

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Lad: Just go to the bank tell them to send the money for you

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Me: i did that but i need to show the manager that this is all okay

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Lad: This has nothing to do with the bank manager just tell the cashier to do it for you.

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Me: well now that he knows about it, we need to do something to convince him it's okay

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Lad: What did you need to show

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Me: i don't know, is there a form or something?

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Lad: I don't think i have any confidence with you again in this delivery. The way and manner you are behaving is somehow unaccepted. What is going on?

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Me: hey, this isn't my fault so don't blame me. i'm doing everything you told me to do. i just need you to help now

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Lad: I don't have time to give any form now

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Me: so when can you send me some proof so i can take it to the bank? then i can make the transfer

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Lad: Tell them if they don't believe you then forget about this transaction

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Me: forget about it? because of something this simple? that's ridiculous
why would you do that to me?

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Lad: I can't continue I hate any thing funny

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Me: this is NOT funny, what are you talking about?

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Lad: Am a very busy Man

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Me: too busy to help me get my millions of dollars? how is that possible

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Lad: I need you to delete everything concerning this transaction from you system

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Me: what are you talking about?

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Lad: I have tried my best

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Me: don't you dare abandon me, why would you do that? you have my money

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Lad: I can only help you now if you can send the fee via western union or money gram

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Me: you already know we don't have that here, why are you doing this?

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Lad: Then find someone to help you and send it

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Me: this is an island, damn it. you know that
why don't you want to help me get my money

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Lad: It will only take some time

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Me: this is getting very suspicious now
you're not going to help me?

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Lad: Am done with you
You have two options

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Me: why are you doing this? all i need is something to convince the manager and you refuse to help
and then you say you're done with me]

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Lad: Go to the bank tell ll them if they don't believe you then forget about this transaction

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Me: forget about it? why would i do that?
we're talking about millions of dollars here and you're going to keep it?

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Lad: I have to go now you have two bank account details

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Me: and i just need your help to make the transfer. don't you understand what I'm saying?
this is very simple
why won't you help?

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Lad: Send it to any of them and get back to me
If they don't believe you send it to xxxxxxxxxx
If not
Then

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Me: i can't without your help, how many times do i have to tell you that? it doesn't matter which account i send it to, i still need to prove this is okay
then i can do it immediately
please help me so i can get my money, i can;t do it without you

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Lad: If you can't then please I need you to delete everything concerning this transaction from you system

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Me: delete everything? what does that mean?

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Lad: Then find someone to help you and send it

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Me: robert will be back on monday, maybe he can do it, the bank manager won't know what he's doing
that might work

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Lad: Who is Robert

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Me: my nurse, he's on vacation'

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Lad: What is his full name

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Me: robert xxxxxx i told you about him

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Lad: His name is among the scam artist we have here in our office
Now

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Me: what the hell are you talking about? he's just a nurse here in hawaii
i've known him for years

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Lad: Then who ray

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Me: who?
you mean the guy who tried to steal my email? he's just a phishing scumbag

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Lad: I told you I am seeing everything you are doing online here in our office

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Me: then you know i'm being honest with you
and stop spying on me unless you have a warrant
that's illegal

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Lad: This Robert you are talking about was working with Ray

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Me: what do you mean

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Lad: How much have you paid to Ray

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Me: i didn't pay him anything, he tried to steal my email

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Lad: For your information Ray have been arrested last week

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Me: for stealing email passwords?
wow

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Lad: He said he is working with you

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Me: that was all a lie

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Lad: Like I told you earlier delete everything concerning this transaction from you system
And stop contacting me

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Me: first he lied to me and now you're lying to me too?
why are you doing this to me

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Lad: I can't help u

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Me: just because i need proof for the bank? that's insane

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Lad: Since you said am trying to lie to you that is why I hate my self

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Me: well are you? i don't understand what's going on

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Lad: Good bye

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Me: what the hell? was there ever any real money or was that not true?

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Lad: Thanks for wasting my time

(You’re very welcome.)

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Me: wasting YOUR time? what the hell are you talking about? I've tried to do EVERYTHING you said and we're almost done
are you keeping the money for yourself?
what is going on

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Lad: I don't believe you

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Me: what do you mean

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Lad: Sorry I think I have contacted the wrong person

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Me: WHAT?! you said you had my email on your hard disc and you know me
you've seen everything i do on line, you know who i am
why are you trying to steal my money

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Lad: That's better than to waste more of my time

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Me: i haven't wasted any of your time, i have done what you said and went to the bank.
i just need your help so we can finish this and you're not helping
why?

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Lad: I don't believe you

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Me: why would i lie about the bank manager?
that makes no sense at all

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Lad: Better
You just have to confuse me to believe you again

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Me: what do you mean

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PART 5 – A CLEAN GETAWAY

Lad: I need your email password if not please forget about this transaction okay

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Me: WHAT THE HELL

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Lad: I don't need any word from you
If you can't give it to me

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Me: after all this you try to get my email?
YOU REALLY ARE A GODDAMN SCAMMER
you wasted DAYS of my time you criminal

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Lad: Okay good
Good bye

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Me: why would you do such an evil thing to an old man?
you should be ashamed of yourself

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Lad: Please stop contacting me

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Me: i'm going to give your information to the police you thieving bastard
you were trying to steal my money, weren't you?

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Lad: I am going to have you arrested

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Me: good luck with that, you're lying again just like you did all along

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Lad: It' will only take me a call
Good bye

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Me: bullshit
liar
you're not the fbi and we both know it now
you're just a terrible person trying to steal from an innocent old man
pathetic

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Lad: I don't believe you and you don't believe me

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Me: go get a real job before god punishes you

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Lad: So I can't help you

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Me: why would i believe you? you tried to steal from me

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Lad: Stop

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Me: god will strike you down, you animal
i'm already praying for your pain, you'll get what you deserve

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Lad: Okay

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Me: why can't you do honest work? why do you steal for a living

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Lad: Okay
Good

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Me: answer me

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Lad: For your information I have a good job

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Me: then why are you trying to steal from me

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Lad: I am an FBI AGENT

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Me: of course you're not, we both know you're just a scammer
i bet you CAN'T get a job, can you?

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Lad: I AM not trying to steal from you just that I don't believe you

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Me: don't believe what?

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Lad: I don't believe you
That's the only problem here

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Me: you tried to steal my email and now i know you lied about being with the fbi so THAT means you're a scammer and the bank manager was right
you're just a sad little man with no life

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Lad: I have every documents to prove that this %1000 real

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Me: your mother must be ashamed of you for being dishonest
if you had documents you would have sent them but you refused

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Lad: I don't believe you that is
The problem

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Me: what dont you believe
you make no sense

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Lad: I can't deliver this amount of money to someone I don't believe

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Me: what don't you believe

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Lad: I have to tell my director that we have to get the fund transfer into government account as unclaimed fund
Please am sorry
I can't help you

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Me: i don't think there is any fund, you've never prove anything and then you tried to steal my email, the fbi wouldn't do that

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Lad: I just so you will not believe me again and never contact me again concerning this transaction

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Me: SCAMMING BASTARD, I HOPE YOU DIE
you lied to me for DAYS

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Lad: Okay
Good bye

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Me: FUCK YOU

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And then he tried a couple video calls and blocked me after that. Perfect ninja exit, he never knew he was being baited and I got away clean. Good fun.