Reverend Eze - "Sand Timer" & 4 Safari trips

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Posted: Mon Nov 20, 2017 3:29 pm

From our lazy idiot, to Mr. Qesha (Regional Manager - Niamey Area):

Quote:

Dear Regional Manager Mr. Qesha August Kooni,

I am sending my Government Identity card to you.

Ezze Emanuel

- The idiot sent me a fake document. A very bad one.
- I can not understand if he thinks that this bullshit can be accepted as "valid ID", but the Regional Manager was pleased. Laughing

The Regional Manager wrote to our lad:

Quote:

Mr. Ezze, I'm not in the office now. I received the copy of your ID. Thanks for the message. Everything it's fine. Please let me know when you will come to pick up the package so that I can be here. Normally, we have two drivers dealing with our regional deliveries, but sometimes the large number of packages also require my presence. Qesha

Let's see how the situation evolves. Laughing

Posted: Tue Nov 21, 2017 9:09 am

Let's start the show! Laughing

My idiot tries to get the parcel without moving his lazy ass.

Quote:

Dear Qesha,

I got your email but i have not been to Niamey before and i don't have Ecowas passport to cross over to Niamey. Please tell the regional delivery agent to deliver it to me. Let know further details to avoid much delay. Call me or provide your number to call.

Ezze Emanuel

The Regional Manager of the shipping company (TSC):

Quote:

Mr. Ezze, As Salamu Alaykum! Sir, let me inform you that according to the TSC Internal Regulations the packages are delivered only to the recipient and the private signature is required.
Our regional agents deliver only in Niger and we do not have a valid license to operate in Nigeria.
Starting November 20, 2017, you have 60 days to pick up the package from our Niamey warehouse. Exceeding this term is equivalent to abandoning the package, which becomes the exclusive TSC property.
The internal rules force us to communicate only by email because all messages are stored in the TSC servers and can be used for any subsequent complaints.
As I mentioned yesterday, please let me know in advance about your decision to pick up the parcel.
I will need to know the exact date of your arrival so I can be present in the warehouse and to be able to prepare the documentation required for the release of the package.
Masha Allah!
Qesha A. Kooni
TSC Regional Manager

==============================

One hour later...

Our lazy idiot:

Quote:

Maybe you will return the package to sender Elephterie because i cannot come to Niamey Niger.

I will give your email to Elephterie to communication with you about this issue.

You have been paid to deliver my package to my destination now you are telling me to come to Niamey Niger.

Ezze Emanuel

The Regional Manager of transport shipping company:

Quote:

Mr. Ezze, As Salamu Alaykum! My duty is just to deliver the parcels to those persons who are empowered to receive them. I do not send Return requests and I do not communicate with anyone other than the Recipients.
If you wish to return the package back, you must communicate directly with your Sender and he / she has to pay the costs for the returning transport operation.
From my personal experience, most senders refuse to pay the return costs so the parcels become the TSC property and the goods are shared between the delivery team members.
(Personal note: I'm very sure he will enjoy when he reads that someone else will take all the money and the goods from "his" package! Laughing

)

All I can do (because it is an exceptional situation) is send one of our local agent waiting for you at the border and bring you here to the warehouse with one of our company van.
After you sign the papers and pick up your parcel, our driver can take you back to the border for a small amount of money.
I repeat, we no longer have a valid operating license in Nigeria and our drivers do not cross the border!
Masha Allah!
Qesha A. Kooni
TSC Regional Manager

Posted: Tue Nov 21, 2017 11:38 am

Our idiot wrote to father Elephterie (secretary of the church):

Quote:

Good Morning Elefterie,

Just to let you know that TSC have delivered the package to another country Niamey Niger and they asked me to come there. No shit! Really? Laughing

I am not coming there because i don't have Ecowas passport to travel to Niger so i want to give you the TSC Regional Manager to know what is going on. Here is the Email (qesha@mail) to Regional Manager and his name Mr. Qesha August Kooni.

Brother Ema

Father Elephterie is very innocent:

Quote:

Ezze brother, I do not understand what you mean. Niger is not the abbreviation from Nigeria country? You really made me curious and I'll look for a map. I love these words Laughing

What is Ecowass Passport? Is it a sort of African international passport or a free pass? Why do not you make a personal passport to travel? Here in our country everyone has a passport and all people can travel to what country they want.

However, this problem obviously outclasses me, so you probably need to talk to Father Eduard or to His Excellence Cardial Euphrosie. I am just a executor of the orders received from my direct superiors.

- It is exactly what I anticipated. clapping

- Our lazy idiot has problems with his parcel, so he has to turn to the goodwill of the church.
- Both high priests, father Eduard and the Great Cardinal Euphrosie, are angry at him, because the idiot has not sent anything from the previously requested materials.

Perhaps now is the time to "force the situation" and to obtain some nice trophies? Hmm, we will see! Laughing

-----------------------------------------------

One hour later...

- Brother Elephterie (Church Secretary) forward our idiot's email directly to father Eduard.
- Father Eduard hits the idiot directly in the figure. Laughing

Quote:

Emanuel Ezze,

I'm not happy to read these words written by you. Son, I permanently counseled you and I kept on you on my chest like my unborn baby, but you hurt the holy Church and neglected the holy mysteries of the Faith.
Cardinal Euphrosie was humiliated by the impostor Minhaturian in the front of the Court and this sad thing is yours responsability, because you promised to send your video-testimony. YOU DID NOT DO THAT!
I told you many times to ask forgiveness at the Great Euphrosie, by sending a personal photo of you with a very personal message written with your own hands. YOU DID NOT DO THAT!
I have repeatedly asked you to send me a picture of yours, along with your family, for to put it on my altar and pray for you. YOU DID NOT DO THAT!
The late brother Nectarie, God forgive his soul!, gave you some forms to be filled in for admission to the Church. YOU DID NOT DO THAT!

Emanuel, you have NEVER done ANYTHING for this Church!
Even under these conditions, we also helped your community and we sent you a large package with money and some expensive electronic products!
Now you have the courage to turn back to the church's goodwill? Hmm, I really think you are joking!
Instead of appealing to me or Cardinal Euphrosie, did you address directly to Secretary Elephterie? This is a great lack of respect for our hierarchy.
I do not know what will happen to that package if you do not take it. He's probably going back to our church.
Perhaps we could pay for the package to be taken over by another company (DHL) and delivered to you in Lagos. I do not know, everything is possible. Laughing

If I (maybe) could forgive you, you can be sure that Cardinal Euphrosie is extremely angry on you.
I do not know what you can do for to get back to his goodwill. He helped you and you mocked Him and His authority as Head of our Church.
This is the cruel and sad reality!

Father Eduard

----- Forwarded Message -----
From: Asistent Elephterie <elephterie@mail>
To: eduard@mail
Sent: Tuesday, November 21, 2017 2:21 PM
Subject: Fwd: Re: Courtesy Package

Parinte Eduard, am primit acest mesaj de la fratele Ezze. Se pare ca exista niste probleme legate de livrarea coletului si de un fel de pasaport (nu am inteles exact ce inseamna acel tip de pasaport).
English translation: Father Eduard, I received this message from Brother Ezze. There seem to be some problems with the delivery of the package and a kind of passport (I did not understand exactly what that type of passport means).
---
Fii binecuvantat,
parintele Elephterie

-------- Original Message --------
Subject: Re: Courtesy Package
Date: 2017-11-21 12:20
From: EMANUEL EZZE <idiot@mail>
To: Asistent Elephterie <elephterie@mail>

Good Morning Elephterie,

Just to let you know that TSC have delivered the package to another country Niamey Niger and they asked me to come there.

I am not coming there because i don't have Ecowas passport to travel to Niger so i want to give you the TSC Regional Manager to know what is going on. Here is the Email (qesha@mail) to Regional Manager and his name Mr. Qesha August Kooni.

Brother Ema

- I offered him the possibility that the parcel still be sent to Lagos with DHL. Laughing

- Of course, the cardinal Euphrosie must agree with this arrangement. Laughing

- Of course, the idiot has to send all the materials we have asked before... and many, many more. Laughing

- Maybe the promise of the $ 20,000 to make him more diligent?

We will see the next days! Very Happy

Posted: Tue Nov 21, 2017 4:47 pm

Muhahaha!

Our idiot Emanuel, to "my" Regional Manager:

Quote:

I got your Email, I wish to inform you that i have never intent by any means informed any one that i want to abandoned my parcel sent to me, I am still willing to receive this parcel by all means. At this very point i hereby request for a Re-shipment to Lagos Nigeria to this same Address <sinp> i will be responsible for the shipping charges. I urgently wait for your response.

Thanks for your understanding.
Ezze Emanuel

The Regional Manager:

Quote:

Mr. Ezze, I'm out of the office so I can not access the company's server. I'm out of my working hours, so I'll be concise. By the time I left the warehouse there was no correspondence related to your problem. Unofficially (because I have not received any official request from you) I can confirm that only the Sender can request to change the delivery address (because the shipping costs are in its charge). Qesha

It is very clear that the idiot must ask to Father Eduard or Cardinal Eufrosie to help him.
Until now, he has been trying any other method to avoid "talking" with the two prelates.
Laughing

Posted: Wed Nov 22, 2017 7:08 am

Another frustrating day for our laziness. Laughing

He sent the same message to the Customer Care Department of TSC (transport shipping company):

Quote:

Customer Care Manager,

I got your Email, I wish to inform you that i have never intent by any means informed any one that i want to abandoned my parcel sent to me, I am still willing to receive this parcel by all means. At this very point i hereby request for a Re-shipment to Lagos Nigeria to this same Address <snip> i will be responsible for the shipping charges. I urgently wait for your response.

Thanks for your understanding.
Ezze Emanuel

Mr. Claude ("my" Customer Care Manager):

Quote:

PACKAGE DELIVERY: TSC TRACKING # TFQ64MUQ4U0XXXXX

Dear EZZE EMANUEL,

Special Note: According to the TSC Regulation only the person who sent the package [SENDER] can request changes regarding the delivery of the package (another delivery address and/or another receiver).

Thank you for using TSC, the finest in 5-Star Customer Service.

Claude Postumier
Customer Care Manager

In the same time, "my" Niger Regional Manager wrote to our idiot:

Quote:

Mr. Ezze, As Salamu Alaykum! Indeed, I also received today your last correspondence with TSC Customer Care Manager Mr. Claude. Exactly Sir, as I announced you yesterday, the delivery details can be modified only by the Sender. Given that you can not personally present yourself here within 60 days, you will need to inform the Sender about this special situation. In theory, one package can be returned back to the sender's address or to any other TSC-Track location (for you, I think another close location can be TSC Benin's warehouse). In any case, these changes do not depend on me or on you. I can facilitate your transport and package shipment on the Niger territory.
Masha Allah!
Qesha A. Kooni
TSC Regional Manager

Perhaps the location of the Benin warehouse is more accessible?
I think of the idea of moving the parcel in Cotonou-Benin... is closer to Lagos and maybe the idiot decides to travel.
Obviously, the idiot will have to follow "his" package and will have to go in Parakou? Who knows? Laughing

Posted: Wed Nov 22, 2017 12:46 pm

Our idiot wants "his" package to be sent back to Benin.
He thinks it's much easier to get there. Laughing

Emanuel Ezze (our idiot), to "my" Regional Manager:

Quote:

Dear Qesha A. Kooni,

Yes i prefer you bring the package to TSC Benin's warehouse it will be easier for me to than Naimey Niger. Please instruct them to bring the package to TSC Benin's warehouse. Once the package arrived to the TSC Benin's warehouse i will go there and pick up immediately i need your urgent attention. I will be happy if the package move to TSC in Benin's warehouse.

Ezze Emanuel

The Regional Manager:

Quote:

As Salamu Alaykum, Mr. Ezze! I have told you many times that I can not decide to move the package anywhere except in the Niger territory. Why you do not ask the Sender to make a Special Request to TSC? Because, if I get orders in this regard, I can send your parcel from our warehouse directly to your home address in Nigeria, by DHL or FedEx or another fast-shipping company. So it would be easiest way.
If you still insist to return the package back to Benin, then please send me a legally authentic (to a public notary or a lawyer) Official Request Letter where you have to mention:
A) Your full name and your full address.
B) A short story about this special problem.
C) Why you request a new delivery in Benin.
I have the duty to inform you that the TSC warehouse in Benin has the same intern operating rules. You must pick up the package and sign for it. Alhamdullilah, the manager there (Mr. Akwoodi Osazze) is a Muslim like me and we both know each other very well. I'll tell him all your story that he will knows who you are and what happened to your package.
Masha Allah!
Qesha A. Kooni
TSC Regional Manager

--------------
In the same time, our idiot wrote also to "my" Customer Care Manager:

Quote:

Dear Customer Care Manager,

I request the regional manager in Niamey Niger should send the package to closer location which is TSC Benin warehouse. I have spoken with the TSC Regional Manager Mr. Qesha A. Kooni and i hope my request will be granted to enhance the picking up of the package.

I wait to hear from you.
Ezze Emanuel

Standard answer: Laughing

Quote:

PACKAGE DELIVERY: # TFQ64MUQ4U0XXXXX

Dear EZZE EMANUEL,

Special Note: The destination change request (at another TSC Sort Facility) can also be submitted to the Regional Manager via email or normal post.

Please specify the full details of the shipment, a brief description of the situation and a concrete motivation of the request.

The application must be legalized and must be accompanied by a copy of the receiver ID document.

Thank you for using TSC, the finest in 5-Star Customer Service.

Claude Postumier
Customer Care Manager

----------------

2 hours later...

Emanuel (our idiot) wrote to church secretary Elephterie:

Quote:

Brother Elephterie,

Father Eduard and His Excellency Cardinal Euphrosie is not happy with me mostly His Excellency Cardinal Euphrosie according to Father Eduard statement yesterday on the email. I am they thought i have received the package. I will talk to Father Eduard later and explain what happened but now am still trying to solve the problem with TSC regional manager in Niamey Niger where the package is. DHL could have been matter than TSC because they don't have warehouse in Nigeria and that is why they moved to Niamey Niger.

I will give you the update later once i concluded with the regional manager in Niamey Niger.

Ezze Emanuel

Secretary Elephterie's answer:

Quote:

Ezze brother, wow, sorry, I did not know there were such bad issues. My rank is too small for me to be informed about all these aspects with the great prelates of the church. Both Father Eduard and the Great Cardinal Euphrosie have full power in the church and, if you have wronged them, you must ask for their forgiveness!
As for your parcel and the problems there, I really do not know what to advise. The parcels that we regularly send to Mosambique get straight to the right address. If you do not solve the problem with the local manager there, then I think you will need to ask for help from Eduard or Cardinal Euphrosie. If they insisted on sending this parcel to you, precisely then they will want to help you further.

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 05 Jan 2017 Posts: 790

Great work , Birlic you always make me smile Smile

Posted: Wed Nov 22, 2017 1:59 pm

I always like to complicate things. Laughing

Now I have 2 possible situations, and both of them are win-win for me:

1) The idiot makes a "legalized" request and the parcel goes to Benin...
- he thinks he will go to Cotonou after the parcel,
- he will have the surprise to find that Warehouse is actually in Parakou.
- obviously, that's when he's already looking through Cotonou.

2) The idiot asks forgiveness from the high church prelates Eduard and Euphrosie...
- in the hope that they will pay for DHL -> direct delivery to the idiot.
- obviously, cardinal Euphrosie will want a lot of things: video statement, various pictures...
- after we have finished the amusing trophies, Euphrosie and Eduard will die in a car accident... a real tragedy! Laughing

- the church leadership goes to another cardinal who will ask for another kinds of evidence of faith and other things like that.

And the story continues ... and continues ... and continues. Laughing

-----------------

Emanuel, the Idiot... he wrote to my Regional Manager:

Quote:

Dear Qesha A. Kooni,

I am not insisting the package must move to Benin it was due to your advise. I have informed the sender Elephterie to make a special request to TSC so that you can send the package to me by DHL or FedEx which is the best option.

Thanks
Ezze Emanuel

The Regional Manager:

Quote:

As Salamu Alaykum! Yes Mr. Ezze, Benin can be a more accessible destination if you are leaving Lagos. Moving a parcel (between two TSC internal depots) can be done easily on the occasion of our regular deliveries. It only requires the legalized request that will be kept in our "file records" together with the copies printed after all the messages between us. I can talk to my friend Akwoodi to advice you in Cotonou and possibly send a driver to help you. Obviously, if the Sender of the parcel (Mr. Elephterie) will makes a special request to TSC Headquarter, then I can resend the parcel to you directly at your home with another fast-shipping company. But this already goes beyond my job duties and I can not give you now too much information.
Masha Allah!
Qesha A. Kooni
TSC Regional Manager

------------------

One hour later...

- The idiot wants to avoid contact with Father Eduard or Cardinal Euphrosie (because he knows what to do to regain the goodwill of the two prelates). Laughing

- So he tries to "trick" the secretary Elephterie... the idiot wants secretary Elephterie to sign a request ("officialy" from the Church) to send the parcel with DHL directly to the idiot's home (in Lagos).
- Obviously, this is not possible... any official document of the church must be signed by Father Eduard or by Cardinal Euphrosie.

Our idiot, to secretary Elephterie:

Quote:

Brother Elephterie,

I want you to read the massage from the TSC from Niamey Niger. I advise you to make a Special Request to TSC demanding to the package by DHL or FedEx to my destination address in Nigeria as advised by the TSC Regional Manager ok. Please make this Special Request to TSC immediately to the delivery of the package to me.

Ezze Emanuel

Secretary Elephterie:

Quote:

Eze brother, I made the Request letter draft and I went to Father Eduard to sign the paper as High Chancellor of the Church. Cardinal Euphrosie left the village for participate in a general conclave of the Fathers of Faith and His Exellency will be back at the monastery only at the end of the week.

Father Eduard told me to tell you that you have big debts to the church. And that he does not sign anything as long as you continue to ignore his messages and the demands of Cardinal Euphrosie.

He said that the Church has done her duty to you, and now it is time for you to do your duty to the church. I did not understand what he was talking about, but I'm just giving you his words.

Posted: Wed Nov 22, 2017 5:19 pm

Our idiot, to "my" Regional Manager:

Quote:

Dear Qesha A. Kooni,

I have informed the sender Mr. Elephterie to make special request to TSC demanding the package to be deliver to the receiver by DHL or FedEx that is the best way and i like it to save me from stress.

Ezze

"My" Regional Manager of the shipping company:

Quote:

As Salamu Alaykum! Yes Mr. Ezze, I believe the same thing. It is perfect and I will expect to receive from my superiors the order to resend the parcel in Nigeria with another fast shipping company. We have in Niamey both local offices FedEx and DHL, do you prefer somebody? All costs will be supported by Sender. And Insurance fees, of course.
Masha Allah!
Qesha A. Kooni
TSC Manager

Our idiot:

Quote:

But returning the package back to Benin warehouse won't cost any?
I mean is going be free of charge or is there going to be any charges? Please let me know.

My Regional Manager:

Quote:

I'm out of the office so I'm writing from my phone. Shortly. Packages moved between TSC warehouses are non-paying operations. From an operational point of view, TSC does not matter where the customer's package is picking up. As long as he / she correctly identifies and signs the receipt. So you can ask that you want to pick up your parcel in Benin warehouse and it does not cost you anything. If you want delivery to a specific address, then yes, some additional costs for Sender are charged. But picking up packages from TSC depots is free of charge. Sorry, I have 2 more deliveries and I want to go home. If there are other questions, leave them by mail and I will answer tomorrow morning. Masah el Kheir! Qesha

Our idiot:

Quote:

OK, If bringing the package to Benin Cotonou warehouse is the best option let me know to avoid delay since i have only 60 days as from 20th of November 2017.

Well, this might be a real problem Laughing

... The Regional Manager will respond tomorrow.
---------------------------------------

Our idiot, to secretary Elephterie:

Quote:

This is the last Email from TSC Manager in Niamey Niger.

As Salamu Alaykum! Yes Mr. Ezze, I believe the same thing. It is perfect and I will expect to receive from my superiors the order to resend the parcel in Nigeria with another fast shipping company. We have in Niamey both local offices FedEx and DHL, do you prefer somebody? All costs will be supported by Sender. And Insurance fees, of course.
Masha Allah!
Qesha A. Kooni
TSC Regional Manager

Secretary Elephterie's answer:

Quote:

Sorry, I don't understand. What's the "perfect thing"? Do you talk with Father Eduard? Without his private signature or the signature of Cardinal Eufrosie, the official papers of the Church are not valid.

-----------------------------------------

Our idiot tries to play "at two heads", like in poker:

- He tries to get the shipment to be moved back, to the TSC warehouse in Benin,
- Try to regain the goodwill of the church, that it will pay the DHL cost for delivering the parcel to the idiot's house.

So, Father Eduard receive two messages from Emanuel:

Quote:

Good Afternoon Father Eduard,

I received your email yesterday but due to the problem i am having with TSC. Sir you are like my father and i believed in you as a father and i have never seen where father deceived son/daughter. Remember i was the person who informed His Excellency Cardinal Euphrosie the evil planned by George Minhathurian before it came to past. You told me from the onset that you trusted George Minhaturian but when i contacted him as you instructed me i began to see many things entirely from him and i was very surprised which i cannot tell you because you will not believed me because you have trusted George Minhaturian.

I Thank God George Minhaturian did not worked away with his evil plans against the MUIE church and i know he has lost his trust you had for him or are you still going to make him your person assistance again?

Reverend Emanuel Ezze

One hour later:

Quote:

Dear Father Eduard,

I am very sorry Father Eduard but i promised to remain loyal to the entire MUIE Church.

Emanuel Ezekhiel

I still do not know what Father Eduard will answer, but I know he is very upset. Laughing

2 hours later...

- Our idiot received an ultimatum from Father Eduard. Laughing

- So, either we get some wonderful trophies, or we're focusing on the trip to Benin. Right? Laughing

Quote:

Wow, I'm surprised you did not forget my email address. Emanuel, look, I noticed that you're only looking for me when you need me.
Otherwise, you claim you're busy or sick. This makes me terribly upset and makes me feel "used".

When you needed help, the church helped you.
Euphrosie himself, going over the Elderly Council's vote, made the decision to send you a large package with money and various products.
Why? Because we trusted you and because we hoped you were the man the church needed.

The Minhaturian impostor has scoffed at all of us, and you did nothing to help us condemn him.
You promised to send that video-statement in the useful time to be able to sustain the accusations before the Court.
My old friend Euphrosie was humiliated in front of the Court!
Why? Just for to tell me you did not find a phone available to shoot a 5 minute video-statement? Really?
Emanuel, we sent you $20,000 and you are not able to take a phone and make some pictures and one short video-registration?
I think you kidding me and you think we are idiots.

Now you come back to me and ask for help? Seriously?
Do you think we are your toy? Do you use us when you need it and then forget about us and abandon us?

Your problems with the transport company do not interest me at all, as long as you were not interested in our problems.
Your apologies and excuses do not interest me at all.
If you want the church to help you again, then you have to pay your debts to the church and go through a penitentiary process.
If you are still very busy, very sick and you have no smartphone, then I sincerely say you can forget about us. Forever!

Be blessed,
Father Eduard

Posted: Thu Nov 23, 2017 6:55 am

Thursday, early morning

Our lazy lad wrote to Father Eduard... he complain and ask for help:

Quote:

Dear Father Eduard,

The community has not confirmed the package from MUIE Church due to wrong destination. Father Eduard you hardly believed me but sir i wish to receive the package to make everything easier by then i will be able to work with your instructions. I beg you and the entire MUIE Church for forgiveness and i will promised to remain loyal before you and his excellency who has done according to his promised but unfortunate the package is not yet confirmed. If you want me to come to Romania for apologies no problem just send me an invitation letter. Father Eduard it may interest you to know that i have been telling my community about MUIE Church but what we need here is tittle finance to set up the foundation. Once we received the parcel there will be great turn out so please your help is needed to received the package from the shiping company.

Emanuel Ezze

Father Eduard is still upset and responds very severely... the help of the Church can only be obtained under certain conditions. Laughing

Quote:

Emanuel,
I'm afraid that in front of us, your word is worth nothing.
My son, before you ask again for the help of the Church you should ask for the Forgiveness of your sins and you should fix all that you have wrong.
With thought and deed, as it says in Scripture!

Be blessed, in the sacred name of our Holy Lamb!
father Eduard

------------------------------

In another part of the world, in the far Niger, "my" Regional Manager answers the idiot's yesterday's message:

Quote:

As Salamu Alaykum! Mr. Ezze, the best solution for you is that the package to be delivered directly at your home. There is no better alternative, especially since all costs are supported by Sender. You should insist that this happens. Otherwise, you have to go to Benin to pick up the parcel. I do not know what this means in terms of travel costs and personal availability. I can send the package to our Benin warehouse within 2-3 days after receiving your Legalized Request for sorting facility location change. Regarding the 60-day term, yes, can be a problem especially if the movement depends on some approvals and travel documents. You also need Ecowas Travel Certificate for Benin. Do you think you can get to Cotonou faster than in Niamey?
Masha Allah!
Qesha A. Kooni
TSC Regional Manager

------------------------------

Review of the situation:

- Cardinal Euphrosie sent a parcel containing $20,000 and many electronic products (laptops, smartphones, video cameras, photo-cameras, printers, etc.).
- Our lad promised to record a video-testimony necessary for the lawsuit against the impostor Minhaturian (former assistant of Father Eduard).
- Obviously, the idiot did not send anything!
- Equally obvious, his parcel has reached somewhere else (in Niger)!... because the shipping company no longer has a valid operating license in Nigeria. Bad luck! Laughing

- Theoretically, there is a possibility for the Church to pay some extra-costs so that "the Niger parcel" to be shipped to Lagos with another shipping agent (like DHL or FedEx). But that depends only on the goodwill of the church leadership. Laughing

- The church priests (Father Eduard and Cardinal Euphrosie) are very upset about the idiot and do not want to help him again.
- The alternative is for the idiot to travel and pick up the package from one of the warehouse's shipping company (Niger or Benin).

Clearly, in order to regain the goodwill of the Church, our idiot must send out all he promised... and many other trophies!
Otherwise, he has to travel to another country so he can get "his" parcel.

In future episodes we will see what decision he will take. I will keep you up to date. Laughing

Posted: Thu Nov 23, 2017 9:40 am

Our idiot responds insolently to Father Eduard... it seems he's decided to travel to Benin! Laughing

Quote:

OK

On the other hand, the idiot does not want to send a "legalized official letter" requesting to move the parcel to the Benin TSC warehouse.

Quote:

Dear Qesha A. Kooni,

What do you mean by Legalized Request for sorting facility location change? Niamey Niger was not the destination they just delivered the package to wrong place which is not the location of the delivery. Why are you telling me to make a Legalized Request i have contacted the TSC to deliver my package to Benin without no cost because i am not going to pay again after the sender has paid a lot of money to TSC to deliver my package to my house but they purposely took the package to another country, Is this a trick to collect another money or what? answer me. For your information am not making any Legal request to anybody send my package to Benin warehouse that all.

Ezze Ema

Unfortunately, the internal rules of the shipping company require the presence of these letters.
Without it, the package remains in the initial warehouse (Niamey) until the 60-day deadline expires ... after which, all the goods in the parcel are shared between the members of the Niamey delivery team. Laughing

Quote:

As Salamu Alaykum! Our company will not charge any cost for moving the package back to the Benin warehouse. The Legalized Letter (by you request this moving parcel operation) is provided in the TSC Internal Regulations and will be attached to the documents accompanying the package together with the copies printed for all your messages. If the documentation is not complete, the package remains in custody of the Niamey warehouse until you come to pick it up or until the 60-day period expires.
Masha Allah!
Qesha A. Kooni
TSC Regional Manager

-----------------------------

Our idiot make a Complain to TSC Headquarter... muhahahaha! Laughing

Quote:

Dear TSC Customer Care Manager,

Why did you deliver my package to Niamey Niger warehouse instead of nearest place Benin Cotonou warehouse? I am not happy at all. Please for the sake of God tell your Muslim brother to send my package to Benin Cotonou warehouse. You were supposed to deliver my package directly to my house in Nigeria now you took the package to unknown destination after cost are paid for delivery. I want the Muslim brother regional manager in Niamey to send the package back to Benin Cotonou warehouse i can go there and pick up my package without no cost.

Thanks
Ezze Emanuel

TSC's standardized reply:

Quote:

PACKAGE DELIVERY: # TFQ64MUQ4U0XXXXX

Dear EZZE EMANUEL,

Special Note: The destination change request (at another TSC delivery point) can also be submitted to the Regional Manager via email or normal post.

Please specify the full details of the shipment, a brief description of the situation and a concrete motivation of the request.

The application must be legalized and must be accompanied by a copy of the receiver ID document.

The company does not charge additional costs for this operation.

Thank you for using TSC, the finest in 5-Star Customer Service.

Claude Postumier

Customer Care Manager

I've also prepared a "Customer Satisfaction Questionnaire" that I want to send to the idiot.
I hope he is very pleased with TSC's services! Laughing

One hour later...

Our idiot receive a message from the regional manager... he has to fill in the "customer satisfaction" questionnaire Laughing

...

Quote:

Mr. Ezze, As Salamu Alaykum! Our Customer Care Department Manager, Mr. Postumier, wrote a message asking me if I gave you all the necessary details and explained to you all the legal implications of this operation. The internal procedure involves sending a customer satisfaction questionnaire to the client, and the company's management wants to ensure that you are perfectly informed about all aspects of our internal procedures. I hope that I was really helpful and I hope the notes you will give to the department led by me will be great. Insha Allah, my monthly bonus is based on the results obtained in these questionnaires. Please complete this questionnaire and send it back to me and (in carbon copy) and to Mr. Postumier. Thank you sir!

Masha Allah!
Qesha A. Kooni
TSC Regional Manager

In the same time, secretary Elephterie tells the idiot that the Church has decided to interrupt the collaboration with the Lagos community.
It seems that our lazy lad has no other choice but to go in Benin after the parcel. Laughing

Quote:

Ezze brother, it seems father Eduard is extremely angry on you because he has forbidden me to communicate with you without his knowledge. He said he regretted the fact that he supported your community and that it came to you at Cardinal Euphrosie that you would receive the Courtesy Package. He said you are an ungrateful man who does not deserve the help of our Church. I am sorry! Goodbye brother! I wish you a long and prosperous life with all your loved ones. May the Holy Lamb be with you!

----------------------------------

Another hour later...

Emanuel Ezze, to the secretary of the Church... he attached also the "questionnaire" to his message:

Quote:

Brother Elephterie yes i know and he told to please forgiveness, The major problem at hand is the TSC shipping company and i regretted why you used them instead of DHL or Fedex worldwide delivery company. They are the people behind the father Eduard extremely angry because i was waiting to use one of the product perfect the assignment.View the attached documents received from them now to fill honestly am getting frustrated. Remain and Thanks for info.

Ezze Emanuel

Elephterie's response:

Quote:

Yes, I know that document. Even we complete it every time we ship parcels to Mozambique. We are extremely pleased with their services, so we have given them maximum score every time. What score did you give them for their services and informations?
I understand you have some problems there. What's going on, exactly? If those people fail to find your address, why do not you go after that parcel? They do not communicate with you, is there anyone who wants to help you take the parcel? I find it weird.

Posted: Fri Nov 24, 2017 1:15 am

This is an outstanding bait. Regardless of whether or not he sends trophies or travels, you can be sure that most of his waking hours are focused on his tantalizing reward. Bravo.

Still, I do love a good Advent holiday excursion. happy crowd

If your lad hits the road, let's hope that nobody at the Niger distribution center had gotten wind of the cargo's contents. An unscrupulous and not-too-bright delivery driver might drop it off in a remote location along the way to Benin, hiding it where he plans to collect it later. Of course neither the Benin office manager nor the police would believe his claim that his truck was robbed by al-Mulathamun agents who took only the package and left the driver unharmed. A pity that the police are interested in confiscating the expensive "evidence."

Getting that news just as his bus arrives would be disappointing, but there would be hope: the delivery company has nobody free to get the package, the police don't know about the GPS locator and the thieving driver never new that the receiver can still follow the package via his exclusive GPS locator tool...

Now if he can get to the (fortuitously water-tight) package before someone stumbles across it or (taking a cue from the great first GPS bait) before is is washed down a wadi headed out to sea (It's Benin's rainy season. Confused

), he just might get to claim the prize.

Posted: Fri Nov 24, 2017 7:04 am

@Lehigh Guy: Thank you!

It is an excellent and precise idea that I will use it when "the goods package" arrives in Benin.
Until then, I came up with another idea I would like to try. Laughing

- one of the Niamey warehouse drivers is Nigerian and his family lives somewhere on the Nigerian-Niger border.
- the driver goes weekly at his home... the small nigerian KAMBA locality is a perfect location... access to Niger (on N8 road) and up to Niamey are only 300 km (it is credible).
- maybe the driver offers to bring the idiot package to Nigeria over a weekend.
- of course, the idiot has to go after the parcel in northern Nigeria.

----------------------------

Thursday night

Our idiot wrote to "my" regional manager of the shipping company... he send me again his fake ID document and one scanned photo.

Quote:

Dear Qesha,

I got the attached in pdf but i don't understand the questions because i am not the sender. The sender Elephterie should be the one to answer the question but they are angry due wrong destination. here is the airway bill received from sender Elephterie on the 10th of November and my passport and ID. You have to help me out because the package belongs to the community they thought i have conspired with the shipping company to divert the community package to Niamey Niger.

Ezze Emanuel

My regional manager has finished working so he went home ... responds briefly (on the phone):

Quote:

Mr. Ezze, sorry but I'm out of the office and I write you from my phone. Questionnaires must be completed by both parts of the transaction: sender / receiver. Did you get in touch with the sender? I am very pleased that your problem has been solved. He will send us a parcel forward request so that we can send your package with DHL? Qesha

-----------------------------

Friday, early hours

Our idiot, to the church secretary Elephterie... the same request, about moving his package with DHL company: Laughing

Quote:

Brother Elephterie,

I want you to make a Special Request to TSC demanding to the package by DHL or FedEx to my destination address in Nigeria as advised by the TSC Regional Manager ok. Please make this Special Request to TSC immediately to the delivery of the package to me.

Ezze Emanuel

Secretary Elephterie:

Quote:

Ezze brother please do not write me anymore, because Father Eduard was very upset when he heard that I kept on communicating with you. He banned any collaboration with you, of any nature, until you have revised your attitude towards the Church and until you regain the goodwill of Cardinal Euphrosie. I am sorry! Goodbye!

-----------------------------

What do you think of my idea with the Nigerian driver who can carry the package across the border? Laughing

08.30 - Niamey local time

The lazy idiot sent a message to my Regional Manager... directly forward last Elephterie's message:

Quote:

Message Receive From The Sender Elephterie

Ezze brother please do not write me anymore, because Father Eduard was very upset when he heard that I kept on communicating with you. He banned any collaboration with you, of any nature, until you have revised your attitude towards the Church and until you regain the goodwill of Cardinal Euphrosie. I am sorry! Goodbye!
---
Be blessed,
parintele Elephterie

The Regional Manager is somewhat confused: Laughing

Quote:

Mr. Ezze, As Salamu Alaykum! From this message, do I understand that Sender will not pay / not send to a TSC a parcel relocation request with another fast shipping company? Under these conditions, you have to pick up your parcel here. Or, you will need to prepare your official relocation request for the Benin warehouse. Please let me know your decision because Monday I could send your package back to Benin (we have a scheduled air-shuttle on Monday).
Masha Allah!
Qesha A. Kooni
TSC Regional Manager

-------------------------------------

09.00 - Niamey local time

The idiot tries to regain the goodwill of the church, so he wrote a message to old Father Eduard:

Quote:

Good Morning Father Eduard,

Please have mercy on me i know i have wrong the you and his excellency.

How do i beg the Church Forgiveness of my sins? especially and his excellency.

Please tell me what to do am ready to do it now because the community is putting heaven body on me which i cannot bear.

Be blessed, in the sacred name of our Holy Lamb!

Your Son Emanuel.

Father Eduard is very severe in expression... I know for sure that he will ask for a lot of trophies Laughing

Quote:

Good morning Emanuel,

Your problems with local community are not my responsibility and I'm not interested in telling me what conflicts you have there.
Here, to me, to Euphrosie and to the Holy Church, you have great mistakes to repair and it is all faults because you are not serious and you are not consistent in attitude.
And we can not admit such behavior, especially after we have made a special gesture towards you!

If you really want to get the forgiveness of your sins and if you really want to regain the goodwill of the Church, then you have to be prepared.
I no longer admit any postponement, I no longer admit any pretext, I admit nothing!
Soon it will be Euphrosie's anniversary and I might insist on your forgiveness.
If you listen to me and if you are obedient to the Church!

Father Eduard

On the other hand, the idiot writes to the Regional Manager of Niamey warehouse:

Quote:

Qesha A. Kooni, Yes i will prepare the official relocation request for the Benin warehouse to enable you send the package back to Benin on Monday. The sender is not happy the whole community waiting to confirmed the package is suspecting me seriously brother please help me am being fired by both parties. Did you received the ID card? i sent you yesterday?

Ezze Emanuel

The Regional Manager is very kind and willing to help... of course, it is obligatory for the idiot to send a certified/legalized request (to the public notary), as well as to fill in the Customer Satisfaction Questionnaire (with blue ink) Laughing

Quote:

Mr. Ezze, As Salamu Alaykum! Yes, yesterday I received a copy of your ID document, a copy of the already existing TSC receipt and also a small photo of yours. I did not yet receive the Customer Satisfaction Questionnaire completed by you and this is important to me (my bonus depends on the score obtained from my clients). Please check it out and scann and write with blue pen your own options so that your opinion on the services offered by TSC to be very visible. If I will receive from you the Legalized Relocation Request, as I informed you in my previous messages, then during Monday your package will be shipped back to our Benin warehouse. Of course I will inform my colleague in Benin about your special situation and I will ask him to help you with the easy collection of the package.
Masha Allah!
Qesha A. Kooni
TSC Regional Manager

Posted: Fri Nov 24, 2017 12:31 pm

12.30 - Niamey local time

The lazy idiot has not written anything, no one of my characters... I think he's preparing the "Relocation Legalized Letter" Laughing

for the parcel.
I started to prepare other twists (and some new characters Laughing

), which I can introduce in the story depending on the evolution of the situation and according to how my idiot will react.

1. The first possible twist - the episode at the nigerian border:

A new character: Boba Samala - delivery agent in Niamey warehouse.

- He's the nigerian guy from the above post... weekly, he cross the nigerian border to his family (in the village of KAMBA) and can take "the package" with him.
- Obviously, our idiot must accept to come to the border area on weekend.
- Obviously something bad will happen to the poor driver... who will not get at his nigerian home that weekend!
- The idiot will be stuck in Kamba village with the promise that the driver will try to get there Monday night... or Tuesday afternoon... who knows? Laughing

A possible message that my lad Emanuel can receive this weekend will be:

Quote:

hella broda . i dei boba one of the drivars na warehaus niamei . ive manipulated ur parcel na i saw ur address written on di documents dat were accompanyin di package . laik yu i dey nigerian na i wan fo help yu ok .

boss qesha says u get no ecowas fripas . i can tek ur parcel u gif mi 50 dolla . evri saturaday i go home fo mai wife na children fo kamba afta di border wit naija ok ?

---------------

2. Another possible twist - The Cotonou trip:

The main character will be from Benin TSC Warehouse - Mr. Akwoodi Osazze - TSC Regional Manager in Benin.

- Just as in the case of Mr. Qesha (Niger TSC manager), Mr. Akwoodi is a Muslim and he will want to help the idiot get in possession of the parcel.
- Mr. Akwoodi will presume that our idiot is also Muslim, so he will be very amable and willing to help our lad with the shipment of the package and all that is necessary.
- I'm sure our lazy idiot will try to take advantage of this "misunderstanding" and will try to leave the impression that all it's just a "brothers in faith" affair.
- Subsequently, Mr. Akwoodi will find out (from Secretary Elephterie, following a regular exchange of messages between Sender and TSC) that the idiot is Christian Reverend. So, he lied he was a Muslim? Blasphemy! Laughing

- So, the Benin Manager will be very upset about these idiot lies and will refuse any collaboration... the idiot has to come after "his package" in Parakou, where the TSC warehouse is located.
- YES, of course, there are also TSC deliveries in Cotonou, but the real location of the warehouse is in Parakou! Laughing

- NO, the Benin manager no longer wants to make any kind of polite gesture towards the "liar kafir"! Laughing

Without the goodwill of Manager Akwoodi, our idiot has to pay for his travel from Cotonou to Parakou. Laughing

Of course, he will have to submit, for proper identification, a valid document on behalf of Emanuel Ezze. Laughing

All this will happen only AFTER the idiot will arrives in Cotonou! Laughing

First message from Benin Regional Manager can be in French. Laughing

Quote:

Sabah el kheir mr. Ezze et salam alaykum! Avez-vous parlé français ou anglais?

Mon ami Qesha m'a dit que tu avais besoin d'aide à Cotonou avec un colis qui devait arriver au Nigeria à Lagos.

Frère de la foi, nous les musulmans devons être unis, alors je vais vous aider de tout ce que je peux.

Bien sûr, vous êtes un musulman comme nous, sinon Qesha n'aurait pas insisté si fort. J'espère que vous avez donné lui des notes maximales.

L'argent que les kafeers paient pour ce travail est très peu pour la responsabilité que nous avons sur nos épaules.

Connaissez-vous la ville de Cotonou et pouvez-vous contacter l'adresse directement, ou voulez-vous que je vous envoie un agent de livraison?

Il peut emmener vous de quelque part dans le centre de la ville (dépend comment et quand vous venez de Lagos).

Salam et masha Allah!

Akwoodi Osazze - Directeur régional TSC Benin

English translation:

Peace mr. Ezza and be blessed! Did you speak French or English?

My friend Qesha told me that you needed help in Cotonou with a package that was assumed to arrive in Nigeria (in Lagos).

Brother of faith, we Muslims must be united, so I will help you with everything I can.

Of course, you are a Muslim like us, otherwise Qesha would not have insisted so much. I hope you gave him maximum points.

The money the kafeers pay us is very little for the responsibility that we have on our shoulders.

Do you know the city of Cotonou and can you contact the address directly, or do you want me to send a delivery agent to you?

He can take you somewhere from the center of the city (depends on how and when you will come from Lagos).

Peace brother and Allah bless you!

Akwoodi Osazze - Regional Director TSC Benin

These are just some ideas and they will be put into practice or not, depending on the evolution of the situation and the way the idiot will react further...
Until now, he was very relaxed and very lazy in all these months, trying to get money from the Church without doing anything!
Well, it's time to work a little if he wants to get possession of such a "valuable" package. Laughing

------------------------

14.45 - Niamey local time

Nothing new, so I find it useful to give him another nudge... discreetly, I also introduced "the Benin manager" to the story. Laughing

The Customer Care Manager (Mr. Claude Postumier) wrote to our lad:

Quote:

PACKAGE DELIVERY: # TFQ64MUQ4U0XXXXX

Dear EZZE EMANUEL,

Special Note: Niger Regional Manager informed us about of your intention to return the package back to the TSC Benin warehouse.

He confirmed that you know the entire working procedure and also confirmed that he sent you to complete the Client Satisfaction Questionnaire.

When you send the Legalized Relocation Request and the completed Questionnaire back to our Regional Manager, the procedures are deemed to be completed and the parcel is picked up and shipped with the next shuttle.

The TSC Benin Regional Manager will be informed about this issue and will contact you personally for the delivery / receipt formalities.

Thank you for using TSC, the finest in 5-Star Customer Service.

Claude Postumier

Customer Care Manager

Posted: Fri Nov 24, 2017 9:42 pm

21.15 - Niamey local time

Laughing

Our idiot, to Niger Regional Manager:

Quote:

Qesha A. Kooni, I have completed the Questionnaire and the official request concerning the moving of my parcel to Benin.

- He scanned the "Customer Satisfaction Questionnaire" and completed it with a blue pen ... as I asked. Laughing

- This is the "Legalized Official Letter" asking for the shipment back to Benin... Laughing

Mr. Qesha, "my" Regional Manager wrote to our lazy lad:

Quote:

Mr. Ezze, thanks for your message, I received the notification and I will be able to download the documents tomorrow afternoon (I have a few deliveries in the morning because one of our drivers is ill and can not work). If everything is OK, then we prepare the movement of your package on Monday morning, at early hours. Qesha

- Obviously, the document is not good because he does not have the stamp from the public notary... So, it is NOT legalized! Right? Laughing

- The Regional Manager will see the documents only tomorrow afternoon, because he is out of town and he can not download the .pdf files on his phone. Laughing

- So, tomorrow night our idiot will find out that his shit document is not accepted. Laughing

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Sep 2013 Posts: 2210

Yay! Another 5-Star Review! clapping

Posted: Fri Nov 24, 2017 11:35 pm

5 Star Bait here Birlic, keep up the good work Very Happy

EDIT: I love how the lad was too stupid to fill out a MCQ form the right way and ended up creating more work for himself

Posted: Sat Nov 25, 2017 8:27 am

09.15 - Niamey local time

From Niamey Regional Manager:

Quote:

As Salamu Alaykum! I asked our other delivery agent (Mr. Boba) to prepare your package as well as the set of documents. I'll get to the warehouse in the afternoon for the final inspection. Qesha

- Mr. Qesha, "my" Niger Regional Manager, is not present at the warehouse until the afternoon. But he asked the other driver (Mr. Boba) to prepare the package and draw up the set of necessary papers to relocate on Monday.
- Mr. Boba is the young man who lives with his family in nigerian village Kamba (see the posts above), so I took the opportunity to introduce him to the story.
- In the afternoon, when it comes to the warehouse, the Regional Manager will observe that the official letter sent by our lazy lad is not "legalized" and does not have a notary's stamp. So the document is not accepted and must be replaced!

Posted: Sat Nov 25, 2017 5:11 pm

18.00 - Niamey local time

Our idiot is happy, because he thinks the "parcel moving" problem is solved.

Quote:

Dear Qesha,

OK, Let me know once it is done. Thanks for your effort concerning this urgent matter.

Remain Blessed.
Ezze Emma

Oups, big problem! Laughing

- The "officialy letter" sent by the idiot is not accepted.
- The Regional Manager was not on warehouse today, but "delivery agent" Boba (the nigerian guy) wants to help our lazy lad.

Quote:

heilla broda i dei boba one of the drivars na warehaus niamei
ive manipulated ur parsel na i saw ur address written on di documents dat were accompanyin di pakage
laik yu i dey nigerian na i wan fo help yu ok
bos qeshun says yu get no ecowas friipas tu cam heer
yur letar fo parsel moveng tu benin no no gud becose no no barista signatur na no no barista stamp
abeg nor say bos qeshun natin dey forbidden talkin fo clients ok

- Mr. Qesha (Niger Regional Manager) is on his north of Niger farm (in a very isolated area), so he does not have access to email until Monday morning.
- Of course, the lad's parcel will not be sent to Benin with a Monday shuttle. Because there is no "Legalized Relocation Request" in the required documents file. Laughing

- Depending on our idiot's reaction, I will propose him to come after the parcel in Kamba (the village where Mr. Boba family lives). Next saturday! Laughing

--------------------

20.00 - Niamey local time

Our idiot wrote to Mr. Qesha (Regional Manager)... he claims he does not understand the message received from Mr. Boba (nigerian driver):

Quote:

Qesha, I cannot read the email from your driver so let know you meaning. I only managed to pick some words there which simply means the official request did not have lawyer signature or stamp. Why don't you tell me this since yesterday after you receive the letter for immediate correction? now is late and what else do you want? I am not happy with this at all, now what are you going to do because the community is hanging on my neck seriously? The driver can't speak English for me to understand.

Eze

The manager will only respond to him on Monday morning. I suppose the idiot will have a sad Sunday. Laughing

Posted: Sat Nov 25, 2017 9:04 pm

22.00 - Niamey local time

- Niger Regional Manager has not responded to the last message (and not even respond until Monday). Laughing

- Our lazy idiot is really desperate Laughing

... he wrote to the shipping company's Customer Care department.

Quote:

Dear Claude Postumier Customer Care Manager,

I have completed the questionnaire and official request send to regional manager Qesha in Niamey warehouse to move my package to Benin since on Friday waiting to hear him. I just received an email from one Boba driver stating the official request does not have signature and stamp that is the only words i captured from his email he can't speak English. I have been waiting since yesterday read from manager Qesha in Niamey if there is any error so i can correct it immediately so that my package will move to Benin by Monday but he did not response in a timely manner concerning the error. He ordered the driver to informed me about the issue instead of him to tell me on time since yesterday, I should have corrected the error this morning and resend it so that my package won't fail to move to Benin. Please i will resend the official request letter by Monday do not fail to move my package to Benin on Monday.

Thanks
Ezze Emanuel

Customer Care Manager's response:

Quote:

Dear EZZE EMANUEL,

Your Destination Change Letter has been legalized, as previously been requested? I refer to the stamp and signature of the lawyer / notary who drafted the document. The legalization procedure for the application is provided in the TSC Internal Regulations and this has been brought to your attention.

Mr. Qesha had a family problem and Saturday was not present at the warehouse. The management of the deposit was provided by Mr. Boba Samala, Delivery agent.

Your parcel will be loaded with Benin destination as soon as TSC Niger Warehouse manager will receives the requested document notarized. This document must accompany the package, together with the rest of the explanatory documents.

Thank you for using TSC, the finest in 5-Star Customer Service.

Claude Postumier
Customer Care Manager

Our idiot:

Quote:

Dear Claude Postumier Customer Care Manager,

I am very very sad because you took my package to Muslim country instead of nearby location Benin.
How long will i continue like this? The pressure is too much for me to bear.

Ezze Emanuel

Customer Care Manager:

Quote:

Dear EZZE EMANUEL,

Our whole concern is in the sense of customer satisfaction. We do our best to satisfy 100% of our customers.

On behalf of TSC, we apologize for any inconvenience created during the delivery process.

We hope you are happy with our services and appeal to us on other future occasions.

Thank you for using TSC, the finest in 5-Star Customer Service.

I am absolutely convinced that Emanuel is excited about the services offered by the shipping company. Laughing

Posted: Sun Nov 26, 2017 2:59 am

Just caught up with this after the holiday. Nice work! Sounds like he's having fun!

Posted: Sun Nov 26, 2017 10:40 am

Sunday - 11.15 - Niamely local time

Our idiot reply to the last Customer Care Manager's message:

Quote:

Dear Claude Postumier,

I got your email and i am well pleased happy with your statement thanks. If the package was dropped at Benin warehouse in the first place there will be no much stress. The TSC services is fast and reliable in delivery, The sender Mr. Elephterie told me it might take up to 10 to 12 days before the package will be arrived and it came exactly 10 days after despite they moved it to Niamey so the company is fast and reliable in delivery. I wish TSC services will create a location in Lagos Nigeria the most popular city in west Africa.

EZZE EMANUEL

Mr. Claude (Customer Care Manager of TSC):

Quote:

Dear EZZE EMANUEL,

Special Note: Our intention is to have TSC warehouses in all major African cities. In Nigeria, we have struck on some bureaucratic obstacles on the part of the authorities, but we sincerely hope that the situation is only temporary and that we will be able to resume deliveries.

Thank you for using TSC, the finest in 5-Star Customer Service.

Claude Postumier
Customer Care Manager

-------------------------------

- Our idiot send the same text message (as above) to Mr. Boba (nigerian driver of Niamey warehouse) and also to Mr. Qesha (Regional Manager).
- Mr. Boba did not say anything. Yet! Laughing

- "My" Regional Manager's explains the whole situation ... obviously, it is the idiot's fault because he sent the documents too late and because the official Letter is not drafted / stamped by a notary public:

Quote:

Mr. Ezze, As Salamu Alaykum! I'm very sorry about the situation, but it's not my fault. You sent me your papers on Friday evening, very late and soo long after the end of my work schedule. My phone does not "read" documents created in pdf format, so I was unable to read what you sent. I have assumed that the letter is drafted exactly as I indicated in our previous correspondence (legalized to one Public Notary, with private signature and stamp). I had a serious family health problem (with my mother) and I had to go home emergency. There it's a remote rural area and I did not have an internet connection.

Anyway, on Friday I already talked to my colleague in Benin and I told you about your special situation. Muslims help each other very much and he will take care to give you all the support in Cotonou.

My personal note: This confusion (the Niamey Regional Manager thinks our lazy idiot is also a Muslim, like him and the Benin manager) will be very useful in the episode that will happen in Cotonou... the Muslim manager in Benin will learn (from Father Elephterie, of course Laughing

) that our idiot initially said he is Christian Reverend. Hmm, we already have a big problem here, right? Because that means the idiot is a liar and a person who does NOT deserve "special treatment". So, our idiot will have to go to Parakou (where is the TSC warehouse located) with his own resources. Laughing

Mr. Boba has been working for us for over 8 years and I have full confidence in him. He is a Nigerian of origin (of the Dole-Kaina tribe) and his family lives in Kamba-Nigeria, near the border. He told you he noticed that you are also Nigerian (when he handled your parcel) and he wants to help you. Also, he warn you that the document sent was not good, because it was not signed by the lawyer who made it and because the notary stamp is missing. Normally, our employees of the warehouse are not allowed to come in direct contact with the clients, so he asked you to be discreet.
Masha Allah! Qesha A. Kooni

I've launched the bait with the Nigerian driver who lives with his family right across the border... maybe I'll get him idiot in Kamba village before he start to traveling to Cotonou.

It would be ideal to have a two-in-one safari:
- Lagos - Kamba (~ 850 km)
- Lagos - Cotonou (~125 km) ... and then Parakou (another 415 km).

Laughing

----------------------------------------

17.30 - Niamey local time

Our lazy idiot tries to play the "card of innocence":

Quote:

Qesha A. Kooni, I still don't understand your statement, Is my package moving tomorrow or not? I forward you the email from TSC concerning the transferring of the package to Benin tomorrow. Mr.Boba Samala cannot speak English i hardly read his email. I told them i will send officials request tomorrow with the seal and stamp.

Ezze Emanuel

Unfortunately for him, the Niger Regional Manager is worried about complying with the Company's Rules... so, the package does not move anywhere IF the documents are not right. Laughing

Quote:

As Salamu Alaykum! Mr. Claude was pretty clear and I specified the same thing for several times. Your package can be moved to Benin TSC warehouse only if/when you will send me the Official Relocation Request as stipulated in the Internal Rules. The complete set of papers must accompany the package. A package without complete documentation can not be moved. I'll wait for tomorrow to send my your official letter as soon as possible.
Masha Allah!

Our idiot Ezze:

Quote:

what are the complete set of the papers? Let me know so that by tomorrow i will get them for you.

The regional manager will see the idiot's message just tomorrow morning...

Posted: Mon Nov 27, 2017 7:08 am

Monday - 07.45 - Niamey local time

- Theoretically, if the idiot sends in due time his "Letter of Relocation" in legalized form (with the stamp and signature of the public notary) then his package will be transported back to Benin's TSC warehouse.
- The manager of Benin (Mr. Akwoodi Osuaze) has been informed about the situation and he sincerely ( Laughing

) wants to help "his muslim brother" Emanuel Ezze.
- Practically, I know for sure that the parcel will remain in the Niamey warehouse. Laughing

- I want to try to bring our idiot up to the village of Kamba, at the northwest border of Nigeria (where the Niamey warehouse's driver Boba Samala lives with his family).

Benin's Regional Manager - Mr. Akwoodi sent a message to our idiot (Niger Manager - Mr. Qesha is in CC)... he tells our idiot that he knows the situation and wants to help him:

Quote:

Sabah el kheir mr. Ezze et salaam alaykum! Parlé vous français ou anglais?

Mon ami Qesha m'a dit que vous avais besoin d'aide à Cotonou avec un colis qui devait arriver au Nigeria à Lagos.

Est-ce que votre colis doit atteindre l'entrepôt du Bénin aujourd'hui?

Frère de la foi, nous les musulmans devons être unis, alors je vais vous aider de tout ce que je peux.

Bien sûr, vous êtes un musulman comme nous, sinon Qesha n'aurait pas insisté si fort. J'espère que vous lui avez donné le maximum de points pour son évaluation.

L'argent que les kufaar paient pour notre travail est très peu pour la responsabilité que nous avons sur nos épaules.

Connaissez-vous la ville de Cotonou et pouvez-vous contacter l'adresse directement, ou voulez-vous que je vous envoie un agent de livraison?

Il peut vous emmener de n'importe où dans le centre de la ville, de tout point central (dépend comment et quand vous venez de Lagos).

Salaam et masha Allah!

Akwoodi Osuaze - Directeur régional TSC Benin

English translation:

Peace mr. Ezze and be blessed! Did you speak French or English?
My friend Qesha told me that you needed help in Cotonou with a package that was assumed to arrive in Nigeria (in Lagos).
Your package must arrive today in Benin's warehouse, right?
Brother of faith, we Muslims must be united, so I will help you with everything I can.
Of course, you are a Muslim like us, otherwise Qesha would not have insisted so much. I hope you gave him maximum points for his questionnaire.
The money that kufaar* (nonbelievers) pay us is very little for the responsibility that we have on our shoulders.
Do you know the city of Cotonou and can you contact the address directly, or do you want me to send a delivery agent to you?
He can take you from somewhere of the center of the city (depends on HOW and WHEN you will come from Lagos).

Peace brother and Allah bless you!
Akwoodi Osuaze - Regional Director TSC Benin
-------------------------------------------

08.20 - Niamey local time

From Customer Care Department, to our lazy lad... His special situation is already well-known and everyone is trying to solve the problem with great success. Laughing

Quote:

Dear EZZE EMANUEL,
Special Note: The Regional Director of the Benin TSC Branch has been informed of the package and will try to solve your problem with maximum professionalism. Laughing

We want to thank you for your trust and we hope you to stay our client in the future too.
Thank you for using TSC, the finest in 5-Star Customer Service.
Claude Postumier
Customer Care Manager

---------------------------------------------

09.30 - Niamey local time

Our idiot responded to the message from the Benin manager (Mr. Akwoodi Osuaze):

Quote:

Good Morning Mr.Akwoodi Osuaze - Regional Director TSC Benin. I got your email and i speak English only. Yes the TSC office in Romania has informed me concerning the package moving to Benin Cotonou today, I want you to send me a delivery agent when my package arrive in your warehouse i will take care of the delivery fee. Please when next try to write me in English which i understand very well.

Thanks
Ezze Emanuel

TSC Benin manager's answer... the manager assumes that the idiot is also a "muslim brother", so no commission has to be paid. Laughing

Quote:

Sabah el kheir brother! Help your brothers and Allah will help you!
You do not have to pay anything. Please let me know when you intend to come to Cotonou and what will be your way of transporting: by your car, by plane, by bus.
Please keep in mind that no deliveries are made on Sunday and drivers are not available.
Please let me know of your intention to come to Cotonou at least 2 days in advance so I can do all the necessary preparations.
Salaam and mash' Allah! Akwoodi

In the same time, our idiot wrote to Customer Care Manager of TSC:

Quote:

Dear Claude Postumier, I received your email and i have also read from Director of the Benin TSC Branch stating that the package will arrive today. I am very grateful for your services and i hope to do more business with this company in future too.

Thanks and God Bless the TSC. Laughing

Ezze Emanuel

---------------------------------------------------

10.25 - Niamey local time

The flight schedule of the plane carrying parcels must be strictly respected... the Niamey warehouse manager warns our idiot to rush through the "legalized letter". Laughing

Quote:

Mr. Ezze, As Salamu Alaykum! Sir, please hurry to send the legalized letter of package relocation.
The air-shuttle pilot has a flight schedule that must be followed strictly and I can not delay it too much.

Masha Allah!
Qesha A. Kooni

---------------------------------------------------

11.00 - Niamey local time

More pressure on poor Emanuel Laughing

... Customer Care Manager of TSC wrote to our idiot:

Quote:

Dear EZZE EMANUEL,

Special Note: The pilot of the air-shuttle carrying our parcels informed our Headquarter that it was stopped on the ground because of an unplanned delivery in time.

I have checked the situation and Niger - Regional Manager has confirmed that he is waiting for you to send Official Relocation Letter.

If the airport authorities will not allow the airplane to be delayed and the pilot is required to take off, I inform you that the next transport on the Niger-Benin route will be done next Monday.

Thank you for using TSC, the finest in 5-Star Customer Service.

Claude Postumier
Customer Care Manager

- My lazy lad did not respond to any of this latest morning's messages. I suppose he's gone to the "Photoshop Specialist" and he's preparing the official letter requested by the shipping company. Laughing

- Obviously, after he will send the document, I'll say "Mr. Ezze, I'm very sorry, but the plane had to take off... we will solve your problem on next week, Monday morning."
- Perhaps this week of "waiting" I will be able to convince him that it is a good idea to move up his lazy ass to the Kamba border village (where the nigerian driver - who's working at the Niamey warehouse - lives with his family).
--------------------------------------------------

12.15 - Niamey local time

Our idiot, to Mr. Qesha (Niger Regional Manager):

Quote:

I am still waiting to hear from the lawyer. I will send it today please just wait a tittle you will see it ok. Thanks Ezze

My regional manager:

Quote:

Mr. Ezze, As Salamu Alaykum! I try to do my best, but it does not depend on me or the air-shuttle pilot.
Our driver Boba has loaded your parcel in one of the company's van and he's staying here, ready to go to the airport.

Masha Allah!
Qesha A. Kooni

---------------------------------------------------

14.15 - Niamey local time

- It seems that the local photoshop specialist has been very busy today because our idiot has not yet sent his "Official Letter of Relocation".
- The small airplane was forced to take off without the package "in question" being among the luggage of the calla.
- The Customer Care Manager of transport shipping company wrote to our lazy lad:

Quote:

Dear EZZE EMANUEL,

Special Note: I regret to inform you that today's air-shuttle has left for Benin without your parcel being in the plane. Lack of documentation is an obstacle that can not be exceeded.

I hope we can solve this minor issue until by the end of the week, so the next Monday's TSC transport will also contain your package.

Thank you for using TSC, the finest in 5-Star Customer Service.

Claude Postumier
Customer Care Manager

15 minutes later, the Niger regional manager confirmed the bad news:

Quote:

As Salamu Alaykum! Sir, there is no need to hurry up because we lost the opportunity to solve the problem today. The plane took off half an hour ago. The next air-freight is scheduled for Monday, December 4th. I'm sorry Sir, I have done everything humanly possible to postpone the flight as the aeronautical authority on Diori Hamani Airport has allowed. Masha Allah! Qesha

So, somehow, I think he (our lazy lad) hoped the package would be on the plane anyway. Well, he was wrong, that legalized letter is really necessary! Laughing

Starting tomorrow, the nigerian driver (Mr. Boba) will try to tell the idiot to take the package across the border directly to the Kamba village. The idiot has to go there on the next weekend (Saturday or Sunday).
We will see!

Posted: Mon Nov 27, 2017 7:27 pm

19.00 - Niamey local time

Our idiot sent the same letter, but stamped and signed... Of course it will be accepted! Laughing

This time, he sent one ".jpg" file.
The idiot seems quite relaxed, I think it's time to shake him a little. Right? Laughing

Quote:

Dear Qesha, I was waiting for the lawyer but no problem view and let me know i no other choose than to wait till next Monday. Thanks for your effort. Ezze

The Regional Manager:

Quote:

As Salamu Alaykum! Yes Mr. Ezze, the sended file is fine and will be accepted as such. There is no problem if you can wait until next monday. Good evening! Masha Allah! Qesha

Starting from tomorrow, driver Boba will try to convince our idiot that it would be a good idea for him to come after the package to Kamba.
It's a short road (only 850 km Laughing

), but should not cross the border. Let's see if the idiot wants to travel to northern Nigeria.

Posted: Tue Nov 28, 2017 2:42 am

Great job with the notarized document! I agree that there is no reason why he shouldn't be able to make the trip to Kamba to pick up the package. If he gets hesitant, after a few days maybe insinuate that Boba is curious about what is in the package, and could abscond with it. Are there any mosques in Kamba? Since your lad is obviously a devout Muslim, he should have no reason to not want to meet at the mosque to pick up the package, right?

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