'BUSINESS WITH ALL PLEASURE' - a Captain Mal bait

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Posted: Mon Sep 04, 2017 9:20 am

Murphy’s First Rule of Combat is that no battle plan survives contact with the enemy. And with scammers… no script survives contact with baiters.

The Scammers
Samuel Lawrence, “a very good business man who is ready to do business with all pleasure”
Douglas Charles, a security firm manager with delusions of nationhood (he’s the one in italics)

The Baiter
Malcolm Reynolds, a retired US Marine Corps captain living in Central Australia

Comments are in bold; Lad emails are date-stamped.

28 March 2017
Mr Or Mrs Malcolm Reynolds
Good day and how are you doing today in together with you job or business
My name is Samuel Lawrence a very good business man who is ready to do business with all pleasure so i want to introduce this business that has to do with transitions and shipment
hear we have golds,middles coco,nickles, metals,consignment boxes,
Email: [email protected]
Phone: +233 238293775
Plot No. 006, Community 25, Tema
Near Dowhenya
Tema
Ghana.

Good morning Mr Lawrence
Please explain about your business.
Malcolm Reynolds

28 March
Hello My Good Friend
Malcolm Reynolds.
How have you been doing ? i have being thinking about you , i travel to Afghanistan last week but i return back today that was when i check my emails when i saw your message .
it is unknowing to me that i did not explain things to you about the business , yes the gold was deposited by a lady Michelle Reynolds as at 2011 when i was still working with UBFAL i was her solicitor then . It was last year when i retired from UBFAL i got to know that the lady is dead , as her solicitor i was the only person aware about the deposit that she made . Looking at her last name i saw she bears the same last name with you that was then i approached you so we could do the business together , when you accepted to do the business that was when i wrote a letter to the UBFAL as her solicitor that she wrote it before her death that the said gold should be deliver to you as her relative in over sea , i hope you are with me ?
What i need from you is to receive the gold , while i come over to you
we both will share the gold 50% for you and 50% for me , everything will be done legally as i still have the document with me .
Here in i have attached the receipt of purchase just in case they demands it from you .
i will be hoping to hear a positive result from you soon .
in re guards to your request for prove, here are the Assay report of the test for the quality of gold made last year ,
We have receive an order that the gold should be deliver to you in your country.
Samuel Lawrence

Good morning Mr Lawrence
Please explain about your business.
Malcolm Reynolds

30 March
okay since you are willingly and ready , but you have to contact us at [email protected].
there we will make you to understand more and all relevant document
will be given to you as you needed .
THANKS
waiting to hear from you soon .

Mr Lawrence
I asked for an explanation. Are you going to provide one?
Malcolm Reynolds

The security firm Lads joins in. I missed that at first.

1 April
GOOD DAY Malcolm Reynolds
How was your night ? hopefully fine . From your last message we notice that you do not have a clear understanding of what is going on , Then i have to explain more to you that the gold was deposited with us last year dated on the Assay Report i send to you , also indicated there is the quantity and quality of the gold . We have receive an order that the gold should be deliver to you in your country . Currently it is been deposited in our security company that was there email (
[email protected] ) i send to you then as you to contact them for immediate delivery to you , But for immediate and legally delivery of the Gold from our security company to you , you have to present Assay report , Vat insurance and the commercial invoice , of which i have send the Assay report to you , but you will get the vat insurance from the security company while you have to contact Mr. Samuel on the commercial invoice . Those are the document needed before the change of ownership will be made to your name after that the delivery can start . i hope you
are now cleared about what is going on ? Alongside when you receive the Gold that will be inform of a ( package ) you have to contact Samuel and let him know that you have received the package from us successfully .
Thanks Malcolm for your patiently waiting , your comfort is our
We hope to hear from you soon .

He sent an attachment, and I chose to be difficult about it.

Mr Lawrence
Please resubmit that assay report as a PDF - my AV system is rejecting what you sent me.
Malcolm Reynolds

3 April
i receive your message , i will resubmit the Assay report again as PDF to you before the day closes today .
i am very sorry for lately in reply to you , it was because we do not work on weeks end but just today we resume for the week i came and saw your message we really appreciate your patients .
Thanks for your co-operation , your comfort is our integrity .

4 April
where is it in PDF as demanded by you , we hope to here a positive result from you soon .
thanks for your patiently waiting .

Mr Lawrence
OK, I got the report. What now?
Malcolm Reynolds

5 April
Thanks for your co-operations , your comfort is our integrity .

Mr Lawrence
What's going on?
Malcolm Reynolds

6 April
GOOD DAY Malcolm Reynolds
How was your night ? hopefully fine . From your last message we notice that you do not have a clear understanding of what is going on , Then i have to explain more to you that the gold was deposited with us last year dated on the Assay Report i send to you , also indicated there is the quantity and quality of the gold . We have receive an order that the gold should be deliver to you in your country . Currently it is been deposited in our security company that was there email ([email protected] ) i send to you then as you to contact them for immediate delivery to you , But for immediate and legally delivery of the Gold from our security company to you , you have to present Assay report , Vat insurance and the commercial invoice , of which i have send the Assay report to you , but you will get the vat insurance from the security company while you have to contact Mr. Samuel on the commercial invoice . Those are the document needed before the change of ownership will be made to your name after that the delivery can start . i hope you are now cleared about what is going on ? Alongside when you receive the Gold that will be inform of a ( package ) you have to contact Samuel and let him know that you have received the package from us successfully .
Thanks Malcolm for your patiently waiting , your comfort is our integrity
We hope to hear from you soon .

Mr Lawrence
Why are you sending me gold?
Malcolm Reynolds

10 April
Hello My Good Friend
Malcolm Reynolds.
How have you been doing ? i have being thinking about you , i travel to Afghanistan last week but i return back today that was when i check my emails when i saw your message .
it is unknowing to me that i did not explain things to you about the business , yes the gold was deposited by a lady Michelle Reynolds as at 2011 when i was still working with UBFAL i was her solicitor then . It was last year when i retired from UBFAL i got to know that the lady is dead , as her solicitor i was the only person aware about the deposit that she made . Looking at her last name i saw she bears the same last name with you that was then i approached you so we could do the business together , when you accepted to do the business that was when i wrote a letter to the
UBFAL as her solicitor that she wrote it before her death that the said gold should be deliver to you as her relative in over sea , i hope you are with me ?
What i need from you is to receive the gold , while i come over to you we both will share the gold 50% for you and 50% for me , everything will be done legally as i still have the document with me .
Here in i have attached the receipt of purchase just in case they demands it from you .
i will be hoping to hear a positive result from you soon .

Mr Lawrence
You were not being honest with me, and it's very difficult to have dealings with someone who doesn't act honestly.
Malcolm Reynolds

10 April
Hello Malcolm
I swear to you that everything i told you is the really truth i am a true and honest man , i do not tell lies but i do deals to make money . i just want you to believe every bit of my words
then give me a trial to see how this deal will end .
i do not need to tell you that you have to keep it in secret because you already know what to do
Hope to hear from you soon, .

Mr Lawrence
I want to speak with you but your phone rings out unanswered. Why is that?
Malcolm Reynolds

10 April
I am sorry that I did not inform you that my number there I have not paid for it for this is my new number now +233267457601 call me now okay .

So, I give him a call… and right away he’s being a typical Lad; bossy, rude, and using that very familiar phrase…
https://www.4shared.com/mp3/Tw1KwG6Xca/2017_04_10_2331_Mal_to_Lawrenc.html

Mr Lawrence
I told you that if you said "Listen to me!" again, I would hang up.
You did, so I did.
Malcolm Reynolds

12 April
Hello Malcolm Reynolds
i have been thinking of you since the last day i made call with you, i check my email and see you drop a message , i have been waiting to receive another email from you about our business . i am very sorry that i do not hear you tell me stop saying (listen to me) please forgive me if that offends you . you have not conclude anything with me about what we are having at hand and also i received a message from the UBFAL that they are still waiting to hear from
Please Malcolm let me know what is going on,
i hope to hear from you soon .

I give him another try…and give him some bad news.
https://www.4shared.com/mp3/Epx2c4-Sca/2017_04_16_2129_Mal_to_Lawrenc.html

19 April
Malcolm I'm very sorry for getting back to you lately, It was due to the Easter break I was very busy with my family dulring this holiday, okay Malcolm here is the letter .
TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN
I Michelle Reynolds writing to notify you that my package with deposit number ubfal/2011/77 , i wish to transfer it to my relative in over sea name ; Malcolm Reynolds . Purpose of transfer family support , I will be very grateful if my request is granted.

Mr Lawrence
Michelle Reynolds is a woman of few words, I see.
I'd like to see some of the other messages she wrote to that firm, just in case their contents get mentioned.
Malcolm Reynolds

19 April
Malcolm there is no other message remaining, but don't worry just continue with them plus you keep me updated about how you are going with them . If they demand anything that you have no ideal about just informed me I will keep you updated too . Hope everything is cleared to you ? Success will be our benefit okay .

Mr Lawrence
When did Michelle Reynolds write that email? I need to be able to quote the date.
Malcolm Reynolds

21 April
Malcolm if they ask you just tell them that she wrote it 08/11/2016

22 April
Hello Malcolm how are you doing ? I have been thinking about you , hope you are fine . I want to know how everything is going ? Really let me know if there is hope okay.
I wish to hear from you soon

I broke off for a couple of days

Mr Lawrence
I've had other things to do lately. Today was a public holiday here - Anzac Day, a commemoration of those who have served in wars that Australia was involved in - and while I'm not Australian, as an American I'm from a country that played a major role in their military heritage. It was important to take part and show that our comradeship in bad times is still valued. So, things resume tomorrow. I'm sure that you understand.
Malcolm Reynolds

26 April
Mr Malcolm I understand and also happy to hear from you,is nice having you as a through friend welcome once more pleasure is mine,so Mr Malcolm hope you are still communicating with them so we can finish this transaction and move ahead,hope to hear from you with a positive reply.
Regard to Samuel Lawrence.

26 April
Hello Malcolm my good friend how are you,I have not hard from you forsometime now hope everything is fine with you,i hope to hear from you

OK, back to The Manager...

Attn: Manager
You wrote me several emails and not once did you use your name. As I don't like addressing emails "To whom it may concern", please respond with your name so I know who I'm addressing.
Regards
Malcolm Reynolds

27 April
HELLO Malcolm Reynolds i am very sorry that i did not tell you my name ,
My name is Douglas Charles . i am the manager of ( UBFAL Logistic )
Accra Ghana.
You are welcome once again .

Mr Charles
So, explain what's involved here.
Malcolm Reynolds

27 April
Complement of the day Sir Malcolm Reynolds thanks for speaking with you this morning hours ,it has be verify really that an order was place by your relative Michelle Reynolds before her death that the said package with deposit number ubfal/2011/77. should be transfer or deliver to you, but for clarification you have to send this information below for your reconfirmation, we advise you make corrections or modification if necessary because we shall process our delivery with the information you provided. We are hence not liable for errors made by you typographically or otherwise, kindly reconfirm and get back to us immediately with your name , phone number , scan copy of your identity card and address where your package will be transfer to or will be deliver to , because as soon as we confirm your full name and address , you have to make payment for delivery, after you have made the payment you send to us a scan copy of payment made before we can commence on the delivery .
Mr williams Dempsey is your delivery agent , here is phone number +1(559)470-0759.
He will give you a call as soon as the package arrive in your country , before coming to you.
i am assuring that everything is legal , your comfort is our dignity .
Best Regards.
Director of international Remittance

Mr Charles
You're asking for a scan of my identity card - I can't provide such, given that US citizens don't have ID cards.
Malcolm Reynolds

4 May
Hello Malcolm
We're still waiting to hear from you soon.
Thanks

The bit about the diplomat came to mind, so...

Mr Charles
Who does Williams Dempsey work for?
Malcolm Reynolds

5 May
Okay Malcolm
William Dempsey is our dip diplomat representing us over there in USA
,he is your personal diplomat assigned to do your safety delivery when ever you are ready.
Thanks for speaking with you again, we do hope to hear from you soon.

Mr Charles
You have your own diplomat?
Malcolm Reynolds

5 May
Good day Malcolm
Yes we have our own diplomat really that for cases like yours it will be done via diplomatic delivery or how do you want it to be delivered to you?
Please let us know now

Oh, that is too good to let go!

Mr Lawrence
Why don't you answer your gorram phone?
Malcolm Reynolds

6 May
Malcolm good morning
What did Charles said is there problem now? Although i am very sorry to say that i didn't see your missed call, please call me now let talk okay.

Mr Lawrence
Your number is unattainable, as usual.
Charles thinks he's a nation-state. I think he's batshit insane.
Malcolm Reynolds

7 May
Okay now this is my number i have to resend again try to call now i'm waiting your call +233267457601 hope to hear from you.

7 May at 6:18 AM
We are still waiting to hear from you soon please let us know why the delay.
It be long Malcolm

9 May
Malcolm i have been trying your number since yesterday but it is not reachable i think you should check the number and send the number again or we should continue talking on gmail.
Thanks
Regard to Samuel Lawrence.

Mr Lawrence
Resending your number is pointless! My number is [snip] if you really want to speak to me.
Malcolm Reynolds

Mr Lawrence
Something is obviously wrong with your gorram phone.
Switching to Gmail as requested. I've sent an invite from [email protected].
Malcolm Reynolds

Next up; chat... and loads of confusion!

Posted: Mon Sep 04, 2017 12:02 pm

Now we have two days of chat, with confusion aplenty, and a typical piece of "only in Ladland" concerning the role of diplomats.

9 May
Lad: Hi Malcolm
Lad: I'm here now
Mal: Shiny
Lad: Are you there too
Mal: OK, time for some information that you need to know. Douglas Charles is a disturbed man.
Lad: Okay i am listening tell me
Mal: He thinks he's a sovereign nation.
Lad: Okay
Mal: And you're OK with that? Dude, that's weird.
Lad: But what did he do?
Mal: He told me that he'd have a diplomat bring the gold. When I asked him who the diplomat worked for, his reply was this. "Yes we have our own diplomat"
Lad: Okay Malcolm i didn't understand what is really the problem now
Mal: What he said is impossible.
Lad: Okay
Mal: You're not taking this seriously.
Lad: But you that i didn't know how it is going on but what i want is that you should do it in the best way that we will receive the package safety
Mal: The man thinks he's a country in his own right! The People's Republic of Charles! You've given your wealth into the hands of a madman!
Lad: I must be sincere with you that i haven't receive package from some one before so i didn't know how it is done that is why you think that i am talking as if i am not serious
Mal: You didn’t seem to understand what I'd told you.
Lad: Okay
Mal: And don't say Okay just for the sake of it.
Lad: Please make me cleared maybe i didn't understand really
Mal: Now I don't understand you!
Lad: What you don't understand now
Mal: I'll try again.
Mal: I'll quote Douglas Charles directly. "William Dempsey is our dip diplomat representing us over there in USA ,he is your personal diplomat assigned to do your safety delivery when ever you are ready".
"Yes we have our own diplomat really"
Mal: Is that clear to you?
Lad: Yes
Mal: What he said is impossible.
Lad: So what is the problem now?
Mal: Oh for fuck's sake! It's not fucking rocket surgery! The man in charge of your gold is telling me that he has his own diplomat, which is impossible. He is either seriously deluded, or telling a stupid lie.
Lad: Okay! Do you have your own diplomat to do the delivery, what we need is to receive it safety no matter how it is been sent
Mal: What the actual fuck?
Lad: Malcolm think about it, there is no time for the delay
Mal: I'm not claiming to be a country! You got me hornswaggled, dude.
Lad: What did you want now.
Mal: I want you to explain why the hell you think I'd have my own diplomat.
Lad: Okay i am sorry
Lad: i didn't know
Mal: You didn't KNOW?
Lad: Then it will be better then
Mal: Is it common for people to have their personal diplomats where you are?
Lad: no
Lad: is not common here
Mal: But some people do... what kind of people?
Lad: I don't know
Mal: You said it's not common. So some people have them, right?
Lad: Okay now i know
Mal: You know what?
Lad: From what you just told me
Mal: Sorry, what?
Lad: So what is the next step you are to take with Charles
Mal: Holy shit on a shingle! You're just not getting it!
Lad: I really need to know when we are getting it
Mal: Douglas Charles is crazy, and I proved it, and you ask me what step I'm going to take with him. What part of this situation is going over your head?
Lad: I am sorry Malcolm
Lad: If that offered you
Lad: I mean to say that i cant wait to get it done
Mal: You might have to wait.
Lad: Okay
Lad: I will wait
Mal: Wait for what?
Lad: Thank you Malcolm
Mal: Why are you thanking me?
Lad: I don't know what to say that will not offered you again
Mal: I want constructive comments.
Lad: I don't know what to say next really
Mal: Well neither do I. Thanx for nothing, dude.
Lad: Are you still with me
Mal: Yes. I had nothing to say really. Do you?
Mal: Well?
Lad: Are you still here
Lad: Say what you have to say
Mal: I'm listening
Lad: I said I have nothing to say. I was giving you the floor.

I logged out.

Lad: Are you still here ?
Lad: I want to ask you a question
Lad: What did Charles says is holding the package now from being delivered to you?
Lad: I don't know where you stop with him , if the issue of diplomat is holding it then you let him know that you already have your diplomat that will do the delivery to you
Lad: Then you tell him how it could be send to your diplomat
Lad: I'm satisfied with that too
Lad: All I need is the package I am not interested about who so ever did the delivery
Lad: I hope you are still with me Malcolm

10 May
Mal: Mr Lawrence, are you sure you know what you're talking about?
Mal: Respond please.
Lad: I'm here now
Lad: I am very sorry for lately reply
Lad: Yes I am very very sure of what I am talking about okay Malcolm please believe me or I say give me a benefit of doubt

11 May
Mal: Damn it, why aren't you here when I'm here?
Lad: I'm here now
Mal: You have me baffled, dude.
Lad: Yeah
Mal: "Yeah" is not the right gorram answer!
Lad: I understood you cleared that is why I am assuring you that everything I told you I'd true
Mal: How?
Lad: About the said Gold
Lad: You just have to let them you how you intend to receive it
Mal: I'm going to quote you. “you let him know that you already have your diplomat that will do the delivery to you”
Lad: Then you tell him how it could be send to your diplomat
Lad: Like you said that you want to use your own diplomat
Mal: When the fuck did I say that????
Lad: But I didn't have any diplomat that will do that for me here
Lad: Which diplomat should I tell them I have
Lad: We're u didn't have any
Mal: Show me where I said I wanted to use my own diplomat. Go on, show me.
Lad: Oh I am sorry
Lad: I thought you were saying that you have your own diplomat that Is why you were against them saying that they have assigned a diplomat to do that for us
Mal: You thought I have my own diplomat... Seriously, dude?
Lad: I said I am sorry
Mal: Question; where would you go to find a diplomat?
Mal: I don't want apologies. I want answers.
Lad: But I am also letting that I didn't have one plus I don't know how to get one
Mal: What do diplomats do?
Lad: They do hand delivery that is what I know truly they do
Lad: To believe package personally to your door step
Mal: And who do they work for, as a rule?
Lad: Package that worth huge amount of money
Lad: They work for delivering companies
Mal: And?
Lad: And what ?
Mal: Do they work for anyone or anything else?
Lad: Only what I told you is what I knew for now
Mal: Holy shit on a shingle.
Lad: I don't know what else they do because they have not worked for me before
Mal: Did I ever tell you about my past career?
Lad: No
Lad: I haven't told me before
Mal: I served eighteen years in the United States Marine Corps. Went from Private to Captain. Iraq both times, and Somalia. Two Bronze Stars, three Purple Hearts. I also served in the guard detachments at five US Embassies. With me so far?
Lad: Nice
Lad: I really congratulate you, you are a great man indeed
Lad: I never knew this before now
Mal: Killing for your country ain't 'nice'. Seeing comrades killed or maimed for your country ain't 'nice'. Coping with the aftermath of terrorist attacks ain't 'nice'. Being wounded in action by bullets and IEDs ain't 'nice'. Have I made my point?
Lad: You are a warrior that is why you survived it
Mal: I was not a warrior! I was a soldier! I was a Marine!
Mal: And I was lucky. Sometimes you make your own luck; but sometimes Fate is with you. That means someone else dies or suffers.
Lad: Yes that is life
Lad: I'm happy that you said it yourself here
Mal: As a wise man said, Lady Luck is a casual fling, not a live-in girlfriend.
Mal: But, let's return to matters of moment.
Lad: Okay
Mal: Have you ever visited an embassy?
Lad: No
Mal: Figures.
Lad: I haven't travel out from Ghana before
Mal: Oh? Why not?
Lad: Because I only do my business here after I retired from UBFAL
Lad: I have not got any connection that will lead to me traveling out
Mal: I met a lot of interesting people in the embassies I helped to guard. Ambassadors, attaches, charges d'affaires....
Lad: Really nice
Lad: I wish to one day
Mal: And... diplomats.
Mal: Sorry, you were about to say something.
Lad: Okay
Lad: I am listening
Mal: Yep, diplomats in the embassy, doing diplomatic duties.
Lad: Yes
Lad: I am with you
Mal: I don't think you are 'with me'.
Lad: I'm with you really
Mal: Why do you think that I told you all that?
Lad: I don't know yet
Lad: But still listening
Mal: For now, over to you.
Mal: Think about what I said.
Lad: Okay, then you let me you what is next
Mal: Go on.
Lad: I don't know what you discuss with them last , I mean the UBFAL
Lad: I am just waiting for you to keep me updated
Mal: I haven't discussed anything since I heard about the 'diplomat'.
Mal: Did you ever meet him? The 'diplomat', I mean.
Lad: No
Lad: I don't even know the diplomat
Lad: Only you told me that they discuss diplomat with you
Mal: I'd better put you straight.
Lad: If not that I couldn't have gotten ideal about that
Lad: Okay
Lad: I'm listening
Mal: You don't seem to do that whole thinking routine too well. Diplomats do not work for private companies. They are employed by sovereign governments. With me so far?
Lad: Okay
Lad: Now I knew more about it
Mal: What conclusion do you draw from that?
Lad: That is?
Mal: I asked you the question. What's your answer?
Lad: Malcolm I must be sincere with you that I have nothing to say but I place everything in your hand
Lad: Please do what is best for us
Mal: Douglas Charles is a liar.
Lad: How
Mal: He doesn't have a diplomat. Have you been paying attention?
Lad: Really
Lad: Okay
Mal: Or do I need to find a bigger clue bat?
Mal: Ask yourself this; why would he lie?
Lad: Then we have to let him know that we will provide our own diplomat if that been the case
Lad: I just asked my self now but the answer I get is I don't know
Mal: Are you that fucking stupid? Are you a sovereign nation? Am I a sovereign nation? Do you think the answer is yes?
Lad: I don't know what to answer now
Lad: But you just put me through and let me know how we will go about this now
Mal: Oh for fuck's sake! The answer is definitely no. What I'm telling you, but that somehow you just can't get, is that the gold is in the hands of a liar.
Lad: Then we need to remove it from me firstly right
Mal: He's lied to me, who knows what lies he's told you? Just THINK, OK?
Lad: I have not contacted him ever since he started talking to you
Lad: I was only waiting for you to tell him that you have received it here
Mal: How the blue hell am I going to receive it?
Lad: But do he received to send it to you?
Lad: You just have to tell him the best way you can receive it
Mal: You say you're a business man. I just can't believe that.
Lad: Yes
Lad: I'm a business man really after two years I retired
Lad: Although I am not too strong in business for now
Lad: But with time I will be perfect
Mal: No way, dude, no way. With what you've said here, I wouldn't trust you with a candyfloss stand at the church fete.
Lad: No way about what?
Lad: Why
Lad: You mean that I am lying here
Mal: Either lying or very stupid.
Lad: Okay I might ignorant
Lad: Not lying non stupid
Lad: I love to do this deal with you
Mal: The fact that you can't get a clue even when I bash it into you isn't making you look smart.
Lad: I must accept anything you say to me just for the progress and success of our deal
Lad: I have no idea about it before, I mean the diplomat
Lad: I told you before that I haven't done any business with diplomat before
Lad: So what do you want to happen next?
Mal: And you probably will never do any business with a diplomat. Just saying.
Lad: Okay
Lad: Then we have to let them know that it should be sent directly via DHL or another courier services right
Mal: I am still baffled by Charles' pointless lie and your ignorance. Personally I would tell you to get the gold out of there into a safety deposit box, stat. Only then could we discuss the courier issue.
Lad: Okay
Lad: Then I have told do that today .
Mal: Confirm that you've got the gold to a safe place and then we talk further.
Lad: Okay
Lad: I will
Lad: Thanks Malcolm
Lad: Talk to you later then I have got it
Mal: Fine

There's more to come, so stay tuned!

Posted: Wed Sep 06, 2017 10:20 am

The Lad decided to present some "proof"...

12 May
Lad: Malcolm I gone to their office today, here is a sample of the gold bar other are inside the box
Lad: But they told me that I will be a to claim it by tomorrow morning
Lad: But they are saying something again that the lady have not paid for deposit and the gold has been with them for two years now
Lad: That before we could receive it that we need to pay for deposit and they will calculate it for two years before letting us know how much we will pay
Lad: All this will be done by tomorrow morning
Lad: That is how it is being arranged in the box

He attached two pix of gold bars, one of which showed up on image search.

Mal: Did you take those pix?
Lad: No I saw the pix inside the box, yes it is a reality really
Mal: So who did take those photographs?
Mal: Respond please.
Lad: I am here
Lad: I don't know who took the photographs
Lad: I told you that I saw it in the box when I went there yesterday
Mal: Saw what in the box?
Lad: You know too well that I have not seen the content of the box before
Mal: You said you saw pix in the box. Why did you say that?
Lad: I only knew it from written document that the woman has deposited some gold and she is died
Lad: Yes I saw it in the box on top of the gold it was just like a manual on top the box when you happen it
Lad: Are you still here?
Lad: Hope you get what I mean
Mal: Last year I was sent the second of those pix by two different people. One of them called himself Don Nana Kwame Otumfuo Osei Tutu and claimed to be the King of Ashanti. He wanted me buy his gold. The other was an Indonesian named Lhee Sam Khang. He wanted me to join him in buying gold from Ghana.

“Lhee Sam Khang” is the Lad in The Monsignor’s hilarious “SHUT UP!” call (on page 2 of this thread: https://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?p=1978106)

Lad: I said I went there yesterday to claim the box , they told me that we have to pay for deposit.
Lad: Then I demanded that I have to see the gold first that was when they brought the package out it was a box then they opened it I was the gold really in the box it was then I saw those two pic on top the gold bar inside the box
Lad: It was then I snap the two pic and send to you
Mal: But you said you didn't take those pictures.
Lad: What are you saying
Mal: What you said.
Lad: If I did not snap them then how do I send it to you
Mal: Did you take those pix?
Lad: No I saw the pix inside the box, yes it is a reality really
Mal: You also said: "I don't know who took the photographs". You're not making much sense.
Lad: You weren't understanding me
Mal: That was my point, dude!
Lad: There was a way you wanted your to come although I answered your question really buy not in the way you expected it
Lad: I am very sorry okay Malcolm
Mal: Did you read my bit about Don Nana and Lhee Sam Khang?
Lad: Yes I read it but I don't know them, that was why I didn't give any answer to you concerning them
Lad: But I knew really that what I am telling you about the said Gold is real okay Malcolm
Mal: So why send a photograph that you didn't take and claim that you did?
Lad: I took it when I saw it in the box when they opened the box for me to see the gold that it is really deposited with them
Lad: I thought I told you all that before
Mal: So how come someone sent me that exact same photo over a year ago?
Lad: I don't know really
Mal: Looks kinda suspicious, doesn't it?
Lad: No suspicious there. You said you someone send it to you a year ago but I didn't send it to you. I have assured you the everything I am telling you is true I can even swear to you that I am telling you the truth okay
Lad: I swear to you really that I am telling you the truth about everything okay Malcolm
Lad: Just give me a benefit of doubt
Lad: I'm even about going there now to claim the box
Mal: Bullshit. You claim that a photograph sent to me by two different people is the one you took yesterday or the day before... how can I give the benefit of doubt?
Lad: Believe me okay
Lad: I'm telling you the truth here
Mal: Explain how that pic you took yesterday was sent to me over a year ago by two different people. Just saying "Believe me" ain't enough, Bubba-Louie.
Lad: I don't know what to explain here you said it was sent to you and you saw it but it wasn't sent to me what do you want me to explain here
Mal: You said you took the picture yesterday, but that can't be true.
Lad: I have done my best if you are not interested then you forget about it okay
Lad: If you're going to lie to me, you forget it.
Lad: I didn't lied to you in anyway
Lad: Everything I told you was true
Lad: But you are finding it difficult to believe me
Lad: Why ?
Mal: Because you're claiming to have a photograph that travelled through time.
Lad: I'm telling you the truth okay just believe me here
Mal: I'm going by the facts, not by your mere words.
Lad: I'm there now with them about to receive the box but they calculate the we have to pay $6250
Mal: Sue the guy who sold you that NLP course.
Lad: As deposit charged for over two years
Mal: Uh huh...
Lad: Yes
Lad: Although I will see what I can do to that
Mal: OK
Lad: Still negotiating with them but to stood by that $6200
Lad: They only deducted $50
Lad: Out from it
Lad: I only have $1500 with me here but at home I have $3000
Lad: Making it $4500 of which it could not be a enough
Lad: Although I will have to run around about it
Mal: Generous bunch.
Mal: You have $3000 in cash at home? Don't you have a bank account?
Lad: It like you are not serious really
Lad: I'm beginning to visualize some things here
Mal: How is that not serious>
Mal: O RLY? Visualize away, I'm all eyes.
Lad: I thought that I was talking with some one you is serious about what I have been saying
Lad: I keep wondering why you sound so aggressive
Mal: I've been serious, but you've said some crazy things. I'm not responsible for those,
Lad: I never new that you were here to make some gest out from me
Lad: Thank you for wasting my time enough
Mal: You're the one spouting crap, not me. Should I bill you for my wasted time?

17 May
Lad: Where are you?
Mal: I'm here. Why do you ask?

24 May
Lad: Hi Malcolm
Lad: Are you there?
Lad: Malcolm I think we can make this deal a success
Lad: So I will like you to visit Ghana and have a physical inspection of the gold
Lad: I think this will do us good, then I will present you to the security company as the beneficiary with the company will ship the said Gold without delay
Lad: What do you think about it

May 25
Mal: If you were actually here, I could tell you.
Mal: But you're not, so I can't - QED

26 May
Mal: You there?
Mal: Again, are you there?

27 May
Lad: I'm here now
Are you here too ?
Lad: When ever you are ready to come down here to see it yourself then let me know

Sunday, May 28, 2017 12:40 AM
Mal: So where are you now?
Nowhere, again.

Lad: Are you still here ?
I am here now too

Mal: I bet you're not here.
Mal: I knew it!

Lad: Are you still here ?
Mal: I'll just check... Surprisingly, yes.
Mal: OK, I got that message about coming to Ghana to see things for myself. So...
Mal: Hello?
Lad: Yeah
Lad: I'm here
Lad: So when do you prepare coming
Mal: Very well then, you need to bear in mind that should I choose to, it'll be at least six weeks before I could travel.
Lad: Okay
Then I have to wait for you
Mal: Inoculations, mainly.
Is there anything you can tell me about coming to Ghana, requirements and so on?
Lad: Yeah
Mal: It's your idea, after all.
Lad: I have nothing to tell but if you need to know anything feel free to ask me okay
Mal: So, advise me please.
Lad: But it is a good idea too
Mal: I'm sure the State Department doesn't know everything, so I thought that you, as the SME on things there, the man on the ground, could give me the straight dope.
Lad: I promise you really that only both of us have the idea of this deal no one else
Mal: That has nothing to do with what I said.
Mal: Why the stress on secrecy?
Mal: Hello?

29 May
Mal: Please answer my question.

30 May
Lad: I'm here now
Lad: Please tell me what is your question ?
Lad: I am listening again to hear from you okay Malcolm
Mal: You can read, can't you? So tell me why you're so obsessing on secrecy.

Lad: Good morning Malcolm, how are you ?
Lad: Just to let you know that I have been sick that is why I didn't reply you earlier
Lad: But I think am fine now
Lad: I will still be expecting you in next six weeks as you promised okay
Mal: I haven't promised to come!
Mal: You were being so unhelpful I'm having second thoughts.
Lad: Why ?
Lad: How?

31 May
Mal: I asked for some advice and you told me nothing. You simply told me that no-one else knew about the deal, which was irrelevant.
Lad: Okay
Lad: Then what was your advice you ask for ?
Mal: Dude, you want me to come to Ghana. I'm asking for some advice on what to expect. Is that too much? Talk to me please.
Lad: I'm here now
Lad: I'm sorry that I woke up late, Malcolm I don't understand your question, what to expect like
Lad: what ? Put me through too .

1 June
Mal: You don't understand a lot.
Mal: <sigh>
Lad: Are you still here ?

Lad: Malcolm good morning, why are you sighing?
Mal: I sigh because you're never here.
Mal: Like now,
Lad: Okay I am very sorry because I was busy

2 June
Mal: Ain't we all.
Lad: Yeah
Lad: Are you still here ?
Mal: I'm here now, but you're not. Again.

3 June
Lad: Yeah
Lad: I am here too. How are you doing?
Lad: Malcolm there is something I like to let you know, it seems that sometimes when I am free to chat with you here you will be busy but also when you are free to chat with me here I might be busy too at such I think we should make a particular time to meet here or what do you think
Mal: Maybe. What times are best for you?
Lad: I think exactly 8 hours from when you just message me last now

Lad: Are you awake now?
Lad: I think now should be the best time for us to be meeting here
Mal: At 1839 you bet your ass I'm awake!
Lad: Oh
Lad: I don't bet my ass
Lad: Then since you are awake now I think this time is better too

Mal: Someone's being a smartass. And you bailed again.

Next up; a plan is hatched...

Posted: Thu Sep 07, 2017 9:44 am

On 4 June, I began to lay the groundwork for something special, using Mal's Marine background (and my firearms trivia knowledge).

Lad: I'm here
Lad: Are you still here
Mal: I'm here now, are you?
Lad: Yeah
Lad: How are you doing?
Mal: About gorram time! So, let's go over your plan.
Lad: Okay
Lad: I'm with you now ? How have you been doing?
Mal: Let's skip the small talk. As I said - let's go over your plan. That's your cue, dude.
Lad: Okay
Lad: My plans are already set
It all depends on you
Mal: One thing about plans that I always did was to work out where they could go wrong and then fix them. So, detail the full process please.
Lad: Yeah
Lad: You are wise really
Mal: Years of experience.
Lad: Okay
Lad: But you looking into this here , where do you think we or they could go wrong?
Mal: So...
Mal: Details, dude, I need details.
Lad: Details of deposit
Lad: I gave it to you before but I will resend all details later again
It's not much,
Mal: No, details of the plan. Not the deposit. You know what I mean, don't you?
Lad: Okay
Mal: WELL???
Lad: We need to make our own details of plans too
Lad: You tell something, do you have any details of plans that you want to tell me
Mal: I don't have any plans. Why? Because I don't know what I have to plan for! And that is why I'm here asking questions.
Lad: Okay
Lad: Let me tell you something
Mal: You say that a lot.
Lad: What you need to do is to get a visa to Ghana firstly
Mal: Thank you, buck private Obvious!
Lad: Then before you leave you have to let me know although we will be in contact till then
Secondly I will come to the airport to pick you up straight to the hotel where you will lodge
Mal: Why would you need to collect me at the airport?
Lad: By the second day of your visit then we will go straight to the UBFAL to see the gold for yourself
Lad: To save guard you
Mal: Guard me from what?
Lad: Against any problems
Mal: Ghana ain't Baghdad.
Lad: Or could you know your way to the UBFAL
Mal: Don't dodge the question, dude. What do I need to be guarded from?
Lad: I don't know, so if I were to come to you in your country you will not come to the airport to pick me right ?
Mal: Depends.
Lad: Depends on what now ?
Mal: But you said you wanted to guard me and now you don't know why?
Mal: I don't have a car, so you'd take a cab from the airport anyway. And you wouldn't be staying with me, so the cab would take you to the hotel. So what's the point of meeting you at the airport?
Lad: Okay
Lad: That is not how will welcome visitors in Africa
Lad: We repeat people take more of our visitors
Lad: I have a car too
Lad: But we always like to go to the dropping point of our visitors to pick them up
Lad: That is when you board a flight from your country we will like to come to the airport to pick you up
Mal: Maybe Africans assume Westerners are babes in the woods and need cosseting. Ain't my way.
Lad: To avoid misunderstandings of road or one been attacked by bad people
Mal: "Misunderstandings of road"?
Lad: Yeah we know that you may be attacked by evil one that is why we must protect you
Mal: Sorry, but I have to ask - "evil one"?
Lad: Because after everything you will claim that is me you came to visit
Lad: So I must make sure you are save till the end of everything
Mal: You're ignoring me. Don't.
Lad: Don't you have evil ones over there too ?
Mal: "Evil ones"?
Lad: Don't you have arm rubbers over there too ?
Mal: And what would you do to protect me? Do you carry a gun?
Lad: You will see for yourself that day that I will come with at least two assistant with me , gun is under statement because I have more than a gun to protect my visitors
Lad: I'm a welding man too
Lad: I'm rich as you are rich but I always fine more to get richer
Mal: More than a gun? What do you mean? And so you can weld. Big deal.
Lad: I mean riches by say welding
Mal: So money is better than a gun?
Lad: Yeah
Lad: Now you knew
Lad: But you make mention of a gun at the initial
Lad: That is why I said I have something more than a gun
Lad: I really want you to be saved when you come okay
Lad: I want everything to go straight for us
Mal: Tell you what, dude. You come at me with a wad of greenbacks and we'll see if they'll protect you from a nine-mill FMJ
Lad: I believe me that everything will go well
Lad: I promise you that okay
Mal: I want specifics. You've said some strange things. "gun is under statement because I have more than a gun to protect my visitors" - you haven't explained that in a way that makes sense.
Lad: I mean to say that
Lad: Only my personality here will save my visitors
Mal: Your personality?
Lad: That I didn't need gun to do that
Mal: Dude, this is not making me feel comfortable about coming over there. How does personality drive off a mugger?
Lad: No to say about that for now till you come over
I think you will like me more when you see me
Mal: Liking you ain't the issue.
Lad: Plus also you will see the truth okay
Mal: I asked for detail and I get some bafflegab about how you'll keep the muggers away with your "personality".
Lad: But I told you already that I will send the details to you later
Mal: I wanted those details now. And what you've told me is just ridiculous.
Lad: The deposit number xxxx/xxxx/xx
Lad: Depositor name: Michelline Reynolds
Mal: I don't give a fuck about that trivia.
Lad: Date of deposit: 7/11/2011
Mal: Why are you telling me all that?
Lad: What more details do you need?
Lad: Please let me know
Lad: This are what I knew you need because I too have my own part to defend okay
Lad: There is .much about it because the deal is already done just remaining you to come see the prove yourself
Mal: What part do you have to defend?
Lad: I will speak that you are the rightful beneficiary of the said package
Mal: I thought that was done and dusted. No need for you to use your personality.
Lad: Where I mean to use personality is about you been save from evil act all through your staying here
Mal: LOL
Lad: Yeah
Lad: I knew you believe in your personality too
Mal: Don't take it so calmly.
Lad: I knew you are a great man indeed
Mal: I don't have the idea that my personality can be used as a weapon. And can the snow job.
Lad: I am assuring you that with or without personality everything will go well
Mal: That's the whole point, dude. I don't want to rely on your boundless optimism.
Lad: Believe me okay
Lad: Rely on my boundless optimism because it will not fail you
Mal: No, no way.
Lad: That is a promise from me to you
Mal: Not accepted. I'd trust a Beretta DA92 over your personality any day.
Mal: Yes, by all means look up what a Beretta DA92 is.
Lad: Okay
Lad: I knew it might be one of the highest gun I think so
Mal: It's a good sidearm, but not the best there is.
Lad: Yeah
Lad: There are other best too
Lad: But one need to be comfortable with what he had
Mal: It was the sidearm I got issued with.
Lad: Okay
Mal: We used to argue over if we should somehow get the Colt M1911. Fewer rounds in the clip, but they hit harder.
Lad: Yeah
Lad: I'm with you
Lad: Have you started making arrangements about your coming?
Mal: No.
Lad: So I too will make arrangements about my expected visitor
Mal: I said "No".
Lad: Why ?
Lad: What are you waiting for then
Mal: Because I wanted to get some details about how things would be done in Ghana. Now you've blown that chance.
Lad: Okay
Lad: Things will be done in the right way here
Mal: You and your gorram personality.
Lad: You will have no problem about your coming
Lad: There will be smile after all is done
Mal: What are the gun laws like there?
Lad: You are not allowed to bring gun here unless you buy here and license it here
Mal: OK then - here's what you do.
Lad: What ? Tell me
Mal: Get a nine-millimeter handgun - Glock 17 or Sig-Sauer P-226 would be good - and register it.
You can lend it to me while I'm there. My rating with a 9-mm handgun was 218 out of 250.
Lad: Okay
Lad: Are you serious really ?
Mal: I'd have preferred a 5.56 mm rifle - my rating in that was 243. But that's probably asking for too much. And yes, I am serious.
Lad: Can you get me a picture of how it look
Lad: I mean any of the 9- mm
Lad: Either Glock 17 or sig-sauer p-226
Mal: Just look them up. It's nothing to do with gorram aesthetics. And don't forget ammunition, magazines, and a cleaning kit
Lad: How much you think it will cost in us dollars?
Mal: No idea what you'd pay there.
Mal: And a shoulder holster.
Lad: Are you going to war ?
Lad: All this your demand for security how much will you be able to assist to getting them all
Mal: Dude, if I was going to war, I'd want an assault rifle, a sidearm, body armor and helmet, webbing, grenades, NVGs...
Lad: How are you supporting your demand is my question
Lad: Are you still here ?
Mal: I'm still here.
Lad: How are you supporting your demand for security?
Mal: Explain please.
Lad: Explain what ?
Mal: "How are you supporting your demand for security?"
Lad: I said what is your demand for security those demand need money
Mal: That.
Mal: "I'm a welding man too. I'm rich as you are rich but I always fine more to get richer"
Lad: Yeah
Lad: You are a rich man too right?
Lad: Then we could do this together
Lad: Are you not ready ?
Mal: How do you define "rich"?
Lad: I don't know
Lad: I'm asking you is that how are you supporting your demand?
Mal: I don't understand.
Mal: And... You’re not going to explain?

Mal: Back again.
Lad: I'm here now
Lad: How are you doing?
Mal: Small talk not needed. Explanation needed.
Lad: What to explain
I told you that how much do you wish to support the security guard that you are requesting
Mal: I'm not asking for guards. I'm asking for a gun. You're the one who mentioned two guards.
Lad: Okay
Lad: How much support are you ready to offer for the request of gun by you
Mal: Again, what do you mean by "support"? You're slow on the draw, dude.
Mal: Are you there?
Lad: I'm here
Mal: I asked you a question. It's not the first time I asked it either. Do you understand the question?
Lad: How much could you send to me so I will add some money with me to buy and license the gun
Mal: Dude, I'm saving you money by acting as my own bodyguard. And in any event, whatever you spend on the gun can come out of whatever I get from this deal.

I doubted that he'd buy a gun for me. I had other plans, though...

Posted: Sun Sep 10, 2017 7:03 am

6 June
Mal: Ah, you're back. OK, it's over to you.
Lad: Malcolm let me know now if you are really serious and ready
Mal: I am being very serious and you don't have any reason to say otherwise. So, justify your statement.
Lad: Okay
I'm sorry for saying that
Mal: I didn't ask for an apology.
Lad: What are you asking for now?
Mal: You're strongly implying that I'm being frivolous. Why would you say that?
Lad: I'm sorry again
Lad: It's because I told you about the security request of yours and also ask you how are you supporting it but you never give me a positive reply by letting me know how you will support itI hope you understand what I am say Malcolm
Mal: You're assuming that you need my support to buy a gun. How much would it cost?
Lad: Yeah
Mal: "Yeah"? That's not a price, dude.
Lad: Now you are coming by asking me how much it will cost
Lad: I must be sincere with you that for now I didn't know how much it will cost
Mal: Well, find out then.
Lad: But what I need from you truly is to let me know the particular gun you want then you give me time to check how much it cost
Mal: I told you that the weapon of choice is either a Glock 17 or a Sig-Sauer P226.
Lad: Okay
Lad: I have heard you really
Lad: But give me some hours from now I will let you know the cost of it here
Las: I promise you that I will remain truthful to you all time
Mal: Plus accessories, as I mentioned.
Lad: Yeah
Lad: I still remember them all
Mal: They are...?
Lad: And don't forget ammunition, magazines, and a cleaning kit
Lad: And a shoulder holster.
Lad: Am I correct ?
Mal: At least five magazines, I should have said, and one hundred rounds.
Lad: Okay
Mal: So, get to work!
Lad: Yeah
Lad: Please Malcolm give me some hours
Mal: Sure.
Lad: I will do that
Mal: Shiny.

The costs he gives for the guns aren't all that outrageous, but for the licensing and accessories... those I doubt.

Lad: Glock 17 auto pistol gun cost $600
Lad: Sig-sauer P226 used by Navy cost $1000
Lad: I have got the correct price of magazine
Lad: But roughly speaking$2500 will be enough to get all security items demanded by you
Lad: Including licensing it as well
Mal: Very good! But I'd like a breakdown of the price.
Lad: Malcolm is just for you to check how much you can afford then I will try my best to balance it up plus i get all the materials ready before you come
Lad: Hope you get what I mean ?
Mal: "Check how much you can afford"? Holy shit on a shingle - if I can't afford to buy a gun, how the blue hell can I afford to travel?
Lad: Okay for now let me tell you that truth I can only afford $500
Mal: Seriously???
Lad: Yeah
Lad: I must be sincere with you
Mal: You said you were rich like me.
Lad: No
Lad: Now I disagree
Lad: You are richer than me I agreed
Mal: And you thought I only had $500? How was this business going to work?
Lad: I knew you have more than $500 and the business will work
Lad: Are you still here ?
Lad: You aren't saying anything , why ?
Mal: I'm reading your emails and wondering how come you retired. You didn't have any savings, did you?
Mal: Whoah, hold it. A couple of weeks back you said you had $4500. What happened to it?
Lad: Tell me how much will you send?
Mal: And how do I know that you'll spend it on buying a gun? $2000 would be a massive temptation for you not to.
Lad: Why will I not buy the gun when I knew too well that you are coming really for business that worth more that the $2000
Lad: Malcolm think like a man please, believe me that I am ready for business not for little money
Mal: A couple of weeks back you said you had $4500. Where is it now?
Lad: I'm a family man too I take care of my children
Mal: You didn't mention your kids before.
Lad: We were talking about business not am family
Lad: That is why I didn't talk about my family
Mal: Well, you mentioned them just now. I have a daughter, for what it's worth.
Mal: Hey, I was only trying to be friendly.
Lad: I'm with you Malcolm
Lad: You just let me know when you will be sending the money then I also make mine available too
Lad: So there will be no course for excuses
Mal: You have a fucking great attitude problem there, buddy. If you expect me to grubstake this venture you will not scorn me like that! Is that clear to you?
Mal: I guess not.
Lad: Yeah
Lad: It's cleared to me Malcolm
Lad: I'm very sorry if I scored you

11 June
Mal: Apology noted.
Lad: Malcolm I am here now
Lad: How have you been doing?
Lad: I have been thinking of you

Mal: OIC
Lad: Are you still here ?
Lad: I'm here now .
Mal: Yep, I'm here.
Mal: Let's get down to cases. When you told me the price for a pistol, you gave me a figure of $2500. I want a breakdown of that figure.
Lad: Okay
Lad: I am listening
Lad: Continue
Mal: That's it.
Lad: Okay
Lad: I am with you
Mal: Dammit, I don't want gorram small talk! I want you to answer that question.
Mal: Well? Will you? Can you?
Lad: Yeah
Lad: I can deliver plus I will deliver really
Mal: That's not the fucking question! I want a full breakdown of that price you mentioned.
Lad: I have told you already you just have to let me know how much you can afford the I will complete it up because everything is for our protection not only okay
Mal: No, you didn't give me a breakdown. Don't pretend that you did. You quoted the price of the gun and then said $2500 even though one gun was $300 cheaper than the other. I want a breakdown of the costs for the other items.
Lad: I said $2500 is for gun magazine and bullet too as you demanded for hundred rounds including Licensing it as well
Mal: Break it down further.
Lad: I told you all that before now
Mal: No, you did not! Pistol. Magazines Ammunition. Holster. Licensing. Five different items. Five different sets of costs. And since there are different prices for the guns, I need justification for why the overall price is the same.
Lad: Then you just have to wait after purchasing it everything must have receipt for it okay

The same modality used with invoice requests; receipts only!

Mal: Excuse me? Is that how you do business? You don't ask for costings?
Lad: We are not kids that will cheat on each other
Lad: Just believe that I have greater plans than this okay
Mal: Listen up. I spent time in USMC procurement. We never bought anything without detailed costing. And if you don't bother asking about costing, then no wonder you've got no money.
Lad: Okay then give me today to compare the list okay
Lad: If that is what you want
Mal: Yes, that's what I want. Do not let me down.
Lad: I will not let you down okay
Lad: I just need little time okay
Mal: Make it so.
Lad: Okay
Mal: Good. Run along now.

13 June
Mal: You've had almost two days. Report please.
Lad: Malcolm I am still working on it okay
How have you been doing?
Mal: I'm fine, more or less. Why the delay?
Mal: Are you there?
Lad: I have told you that is $2500 will serve all all
I am very busy with my own business too
Mal: I know what you told me, but that isn't enough.
Lad: It's a enough okay

14 June
Lad: Malcolm please the amount I told you will be enough, do not boarder about it just relax and trust me that I will deliver right away.
Mal: I'm not paying anything without a breakdown of that cost. I won't settle for less.
Lad: Then you give me the list of what you want, so I will make research base on what you gave me
Mal: I told you what I need. Don't act dumb.

15 June
Lad: If you know you are really serious then summarize your list here again
Lad: Because you always act dumb too
Mal: The only way I'm being dumb is by expecting you to act sensibly.
Mal: Pistol. Magazines Ammunition. Holster. Cleaning kit. Licensing. Six different items; six different sets of costs. And since there are different prices for the guns, I need justification for why the overall price is the same. I don't want to hear any more of your excuses or evasions. Are we clear?

16 June
Lad: Yeah we are cleared Malcolm
Lad: But you check it yourself and let me know how all will cost.
Mal: You quoted a price and I want a breakdown of it. You've fiddle-farted around for close to a fortnight and I lost patience long ago.
Lad: Malcolm I have told you that $2500 will be enough for all
Mal: Holy shit on a fucking shingle! What does it take, huh? You're obviously incompetent in business if you accept valuations without verification, which is what you did. I am not in business, but I know more than you do about that aspect.
Lad: But you are making things difficult. I have sent some one before he confirmed it now you are letting me send another by so doing everyone around me will be aware that I am buying a gun and others
Lad: You think about it okay
Mal: It's not my fault that you fucked up.
Mal: But why should it look bad that you're looking to buy a gun?
Lad: Arm robbers might come to take it from me after all spent
Mal: So you're afraid that if you buy a gun, you might be robbed of that gun.
Lad: No but I am afraid of exposing it
Mal: Why?
Lad: No reason
Lad: Just my policy
Mal: "No reason"? There has to be a gorram reason!
OK, I'll ask another question. How much is the registration?
Lad: Only the registration will take $200
Lad: Just because I will register it with my name but if I have to use your name where you are not present the cost will be higher than that
Mal: So, $600-$1000 for the gun and $200 for the registration. That means that it costs $1300 - $1700 for the accessories and ammunition, right?
Lad: Yeah
Mal: You're being taken to the gorram cleaners then.
Lad: No to get the remaining I'd not easy I have to go through a registered agent to get it
Mal: So the accessories mean going to an agent but that's not the case with the gun?
Lad: Both the gun too
Lad: Plus the registration, everything must go through an agent to get it
Mal: It would cost a lot less to buy the gun myself. A full kit without ammunition would cost under $800. That leaves registration and ammunition to you. "Simples".
Lad: Okay
Lad: It will be better that way
Mal: I have an idea, but I need to think it through and look for any problems.
Lad: Okay
I will be waiting still
Mal: I'll get back to you.
Lad: Okay Malcolm I will be waiting to hear from you.

Next up; setting up for a safari!

Posted: Tue Sep 12, 2017 11:14 am

20 June
Mal: OK, just something I thought you should know; the main reason I decided to get the gun myself was to ensure that it was in good order. I have a suspicion that you wouldn't know good from bad when it comes to handguns.
Lad: Yeah
Lad: Good morning Malcolm
Mal: Good evening, in fact.
Lad: Okay
Lad: It is morning here that is why I greeted good morning
Lad: How have you been doing?
Mal: It's evening here, hence the good evening. I'm fine. How are you?
Lad: Fine too
Lad: How is your arrangement going ?
Mal: Working on it.

He's back on the scrounge...

Lad: I thought you will be sending little money to me , so I will support it
Lad: Remember I told you that I have only $500
Mal: You never did explain how come you had $4500 one week and only $500 the next. So what did happen?
Lad: I told you that my daughter was sick
Mal: I don't recall that.
Lad: I also spent some order money for my home up bring
Mal: Your what?
Lad: Home use I mean
Las: I just need your little support okay
Mal: You know, this ain't making you look good.
Lad: How ? I am being truthful to you okay
Mal: That's not what I meant, dude. The fact that you're not a good planner is what I meant.
Lad: How?
Lad: Tell me something.
Mal: Why are you paying for a makeover on your house when you've just red-lined on your sick kid? BTW, you didn't mention your daughter being sick, so I didn't know.
Lad: Oh am sorry I didn't tell you, I thinking that I told you before now
Mal: Actually the only mention of a daughter was by me. And FYI her health is excellent. Cammy hasn't even had a cold since she was twelve.
Lad: Okay
Lad: So you tell me how much you would be able to send to me?
Mal: Wait a second. Have we stopped talking business now?
Lad: Okay
Mal: So now it's private stuff?
Lad: Yeah
Lad: Really personal
Mal: That changes the dynamic, dude.
Lad: Yeah
Mal: So...
Lad: You haven't tell me anything yet about what I ask you.
Lad: I ask how much will you support me here willing from your heart for the success of our plans
Mal: Your personal needs have nothing to do with business. If you want my help in your family life, that's something else.
Lad: Not that I need it for my family help but I am not too having money on me to buy what you as me to get
Lad: That is where I'm needing your support now .

Time to move on to matters of moment!

Mal: OK, now you've cleared that up...
Lad: Yeah
Mal: I'm on top of things.
Lad: That is the truth okay
Mal: Getting a new Glock isn't as easy as buying a new camera. Australia has strict gun laws and high-capacity self-loaders are very closely controlled.
Lad: Okay
Lad: I am with you, all I need from you is to tell me how much you would assist me with plus when exactly that you will be sending it
Lad: That is all
Mal: One thing at a time, dude. Let's confirm some numbers. Cost of registration?
Lad: Okay
Lad: It depends on how you want it to be registered
Mal: Options?
Lad: Do you want to use your name to register it
Lad: Or I use my name
Mal: Better to you.
Lad: If you want your name as a foreigner it will cost $300
Mal: I said, better to you.
Lad: But if I use my name it will cost $200 to &250
Lad: $250 I mean
Lad: Buying what you ask me to buy plus registration will take up to $1200
Mal: Dude, what makes you think you're buying the Glock?
Mal: Holy shit on a shingle!
Lad: Not the Glock
Lad: Or have you forgotten what you concluded
Mal: You need to get the registration plus ammunition. That's all.
Mal: And no, I haven't forgotten.
Lad: registration and ammunition to you.
Mal: Do not try to grow a brain!
Lad: No I am not growing a brain

That last bit I believe - a rare note of candour, even if unintended.

Lad: But I am telling you the truth to avoid disappointment
Lad: Okay
Mal: You need to buy 100 rounds of 9 x 19 mm Parabellum standard ball.
Lad: Please try to understand my part too
Mal: Normal cost for that is 15 cents each. I guess there'll be a mark-up.
Lad: What about your coming
Mal: My problem, dude, my solution
Lad: You will entertain too
Mal: Don't try to do my thinking, you ain't suited.
Lad: What about my boys going to get it I will spend money on them too to avoid disappointment
Lad: Because they are human
Lad: Please I need your support too
Mal: If I have a Glock I won't need your boys, will I?
Lad: To get it for me here not for you
Mal: Huh?
Lad: Yeah
Lad: I need your support really
Mal: I'll deal with that when I can. For now, I'm prioritizing.
Lad: Okay
Lad: Then you let me know when you can
Mal: OK, you'll be kept in the loop.
Lad: Don't understand what you mean?
Mal: Is English your first language?

22 June
Mal: Mr Lawrence, good evening.

23 June
Lad: Good evening Malcolm

24 June
Lad: Malcolm are you here now?

Mal: I'm here now. Are you?
Lad: Yeah
Lad: I am here now
Lad: Are you still here too?

Sunday, June 25, 2017 12:09 AM
Mal: I'm here again. Are you?

Tuesday, June 27, 2017 7:36 PM
Mal: This is getting gorram tedious.

At last!

Wednesday, June 28, 2017 12:31 AM
Lad: Good evening
Lad: What is getting gorram tedious?
Mal: Your absence.
Lad: Am here now
Mal: Shiny.
Lad: Just now I saw your message
Lad: Are you still here ?
Mal: What do you think?
Mal: Well, sitrep... I'm making progress with getting the Glock and the accessories. In the meantime, how are you getting on?
Lad: Still in process too
But waiting for you to assist me with the little money I ask from you
Mal: This is about doing business, not giving handouts. When I send the Glock, I'll include some funds as a sweetener. But if you expect me to send you cash by itself, you're wrong.
Lad: Okay
Lad: I understood you better
Mal: How easy is it to get ammunition? Specifically 9 mm parabellum, and good quality too.
Lad: Not too easy here but possible to get it here
Mal: If you can buy a nine-mill handgun you should be able to find 9-mill ammunition easily enough - it's the most common pistol round after .22 LR.
Lad: Okay
Mal: Oh, something else; can you make sure of secure storage for the gun when it arrives?
Lad: That is not a problem
Mal: I'd like a little bit of detail on that.

Monday, July 3, 2017 7:14 PM
Mal: I repeat; detail!

Thursday, July 6, 2017 7:28 PM
Mal: Where are you?

Friday, July 7, 2017 7:36 PM
Mal: We have to coordinate, dude!

Sunday, July 9, 2017 5:17 PM
Mal: Or maybe you don't want to do this business after all?

Wednesday, July 12, 2017 7:18 PM
Lad: i am here now
i am very sorry for the late in reply , it was due to my sick daughter i have been very busy running around with her how have you been doing anyway ?have you choose a date for your coming ?i want to know please

Thursday, July 13, 2017 7:37 PM
Mal: No, I haven't chosen a date. With you out of touch, everything was on hold!

Monday, July 17, 2017 11:34 AM
Lad: nothing is on hold
Lad: you have to choose a date and let me know the date you choose

Mal: There's no point in choosing a date that you can't keep. Besides, I have to secure the Glock and get it to you, and that's still a Work In Progress (soon, though),

Tuesday, July 18, 2017 10:30 PM
Lad: then when are you doing so , how soon will it be ?

Friday, July 21, 2017 10:28 PM
Lad: Where are you

Sunday, July 23, 2017 4:15 AM
Lad: i am still here waiting for you

Sunday, July 23, 2017 10:31 PM
Lad: Good morning Malcolm
Lad: How have you been doing , i hope really fine ?

Monday, July 24, 2017 7:24 PM
Mal: Hello Mr Lawrence
Lad: Hello Sir Malcolm
Mal: "Sir Malcolm"?
Lad: How have you been doing?
Mal: I'm good.
Lad: I am very sorry for the break in communication in this passed few days
I hope that do not affect our relationship?
Mal: No big deal.
Lad: Okay where is the way forward now ?
Mal: There's a delay because of my inculations - four weeks to go. I need to make sure of my visa and get the Glock to you.I won't send the Glock too early - in a couple of weeks.
Lad: Okay
Mal: Remember that I'll be sending some cash to you with the gun. Don't splash out too much. Be discreet.
Lad: Okay
I will do exactly as you instructed me
Mal: Above all... DON'T PLAY AROUND WITH THE GUN, CAN YOU TELL ME WHY?
Lad: No questions from me about that
Mal: I asked you a question.
Mal: Questions demand answers.
Lad: Okay why ?
Mal: YOU are supposed to tell ME the answer!
Lad: Let leave that but I knew that I will secure the gun not to play around with it
Mal: That was not very reassuring.
Lad: I have assured you that just give me a benefit of doubt
Mal: Not easy to do. This isn't about who can be trusted to bring the beer to a barbecue.
Lad: Okay
Mal: Hell, I'm sending that Glock and a wad of cash - and you think I'm not giving you a little benefit of doubt?
Lad: I don't think so, I knew you are giving me a benefit of doubt
Lad: But I just told you because I want to assure you that
Mal: Whatever.

More than a month of delay added, and it ain't down to me.

Posted: Sat Sep 16, 2017 11:33 pm

Mal isn't all guns and hardass survivalism - he has other pleasures in life.

25 July
Lad: How are you ?
Lad: How was your night?
Mal: Very pleasant.
Lad: Okay
Lad: I always think of you really
Mal: Ha ha. Bet you can't imagine how my night went...
Lad: How ?
Mal: Just me, a lady friend, a fur rug and then a nice big bed and the whole night to fuck ourselves to sleep. Beth just knows how to hit my spot and I know how to ring her bells. Ain't that great?
Lad: That is great
Lad: You enjoyed her really?
Mal: We enjoyed each other. We'll be meeting again, depend on it.
Lad: Really
Lad: How many did you go with her last night?
Mal: Four. I believe in taking my time. I like to hear the babe I'm fucking with cry out in ecstasy...
Lad: Nice one
Lad: I hope you knew how to do it harder
Mal: It's not all about being harder, dude. But if you're looking for tips, nah. You either know how or you don't.
Lad: Yeah
Lad: But some women refers it been harder
Mal: Uh huh...
Lad: Yeah
Lad: Are you still here?

Lads always talk about doing it hard, whether it's making promises to Cammy or giving tips to Mal. Has anyone else noticed this?

31 July
Mal: How's tricks, dude?
Lad: Going well
Where have you been?
Lad: Mal: I should ask you that. So... where have you been?
Lad: How is your arrangements?
Mal: As in...?

Days pass, and Sam is feeling the pressure, apparently:

5 August
Lad: How are you doing?
Mal: How am I doing... what?
Lad: What is your problem?
Are you serious at all?
If you are not serious then forget about it okay
And stop bordering me please
Lad: Bye

6 August
Mal: Where's your sense of humor? Holy shit on a shingle - I'm posting the package in a few days, or maybe not, if you're going to chuck a snit like that.
Lad: I'm here
Lad: I only said that because you are not giving me any hope
Lad: But if what I said offend you, please forgive me okay

7 August
Mal: No hope? Holy shit on a shingle! What do I have to do then, huh?

10 August
Mal: Got an answer, Mr Lawrence?

11 August
Lad: What is really your problem Malcolm
Mal: I want to be totally sure that when the time comes, you'll be ready for business. I'm not convinced that you are.

I decided to stop using Chat - the Lad wasn't online enough. From now on, the Lad's emails are in italics.

12 August
Send me an email please. We need to get better lines of communication in place.

Ok, I will. I am here now

13 August
Please Malcolm I want to confirm the Wednesday you are talking about, is it 16th August 2017 or 23th August 2017 that you are sending it and how do you intend to send it too ?

17 August
Good morning how have you been feeling, I how everything is going on fine ? I just woke up thinking of you .

20 August
I've been busy arranging transport to Sydney because I have to send the package from there. I'm leaving this afternoon and it'll be on its way to you from Wednesday (August 23). I'll leave any more questions until you confirm receiving the package.
Just so that you know - you have a real talent for pissing me off; is this a normal occurrence in your life? And if it isn't - why me?

I received your message I understood your first summary but the last summary you said ( Just so that you know - you have a real talent for pissing me off; is this a normal occurrence in your life? And if it isn't - why me? )
Please make me understand more okay.

26 August
I had some delays getting to Sydney, but I did get there. I dropped the package off and it should be on its way to you soon. Anyway, regarding your question - you are a very annoying person. When we spoke on the phone, you were pushy, aggressive and rude, always interrupting, never listening, and making stupid assumptions; in chat, you were snide, nasty, and needlessly insulting.

What about the $2500 are you sending it via delivery or Western Union, I thought you will demand for address to send it through. I have not understand yet how it will get to me when you didn't know my address.

No problem, I understand. But you never had my address or how are you sending it to me?

Seems like he doesn't mind being told how annoying he's been. All the more reason to keep insulting him!

You gave me your address in the very first email that you sent me, so I used it. And how the blue hell can I send a Glock 17 by Western Union? Think, dude, think!

27 August
Yes, you got it right. But I was about telling you that you should not put the money and the gun together, if you are to send the gun through a delivery company then you have to send the money through Western Union or money Gram okay.

You said that I didn't have an address, period. You can't claim otherwise. In any event, there's no "I have to send the money through Western Union or money Gram" about this. The cash and the Glock are in the same package.
I've attached a copy of the printout I was given when I sent the package. All the details you need to track the package are on it, so it's over to you now.

Yep, GPSE-Trakk is now active. Here's hoping...

Thank you, I got it. But Malcolm you should have included my phone number to call me just in case they arrive here .

Please Malcolm send this number to them to call me when it arrives so I will meet them up just in case they couldn't locate me ,( +233547051693 ) .Thanks for your understanding.

I'm still waiting to hear from you Malcolm

Fingers crossed...

Posted: Wed Sep 20, 2017 7:54 pm

And now, the final exchange... in which the Lad pulls the rug out from under the safari.

28 August
There is something I like to tell you, I went to the defense minister of our country here to let him know about your coming then he ask me how far have you prepare then I went further to let him know that you have imported a Glock 17 .
He was very shock and he said it will not be possible for me to receive it here or I will be jailed for it that if you need security that he is assuring about that .

You stupid fucking boneheaded idiot!
Forget it. Deal's off.

So I opened chat to give him what he deserved.

29 August
Mal: You've fucked things up for the last time. The deal is over, and I mean over.
Lad: Are you still here
Mal: Yes.
Lad: Malcolm you need to understand me well
Mal: Oh, I do.
Lad: I am doing everything for our own safety
Mal: You fucked up.
Lad: You are not afraid of me you didn't show me any sign of respect you just went further to call me an idiot
Lad: Although I have forgiving you about that
Lad: Okay but I went to let you know that we have arranged all security possible for your safety
Lad: As the defense minister is already involve in it okay
Mal: Defense minister? You want to get the fucking army involved? Why?
Lad: For your protection since we are doing a legal business we should not be afraid of getting the President involve too
Lad: Or do you have a secret plans that I don't know ?
Mal: And how much is that going to cost? No-one works for free. I'll bet they'd be demanding huge kickbacks,
Lad: By the way where is the package now
Mal: None of your business anymore. I'm emailing the company to stop the delivery and return the package.
Lad: I try to track it here but it didn't show any signs of opening where
Lad: I don't know maybe is our network here is low
Mal: That's $3000 and a new laptop you won't get.
Lad: You mean it , but you didn't tell me
Mal: Tell you what?
Lad: And I was shock just because the defense minister said so
Lad: He is very close to me and that was why I stood by his word because I knew he will not let me down
Mal: You're close to the defense minister?
Lad: Please don't withdraw it
Mal: Get out of town!
Lad: Yeah , he is my uncle
Lad: From my mother family
Mal: Is that a fact?
Lad: Yeah I am telling you the truth
Lad: He was the former secretary to the President
Lad: That was why I have to listen to him
Lad: He was very happy welcoming you
Lad: He really wants to see you
Mal: Does he now… and how, pray tell, does he intend to protect me?
Lad: No he is no more the secretary to the President because we have new President now just 8 months in office
Mal: So your Pres took office about the same time as Trump, huh?
Lad: I swear to you that he is assuring me that nothing will happen to you
Lad: Yeah
Lad: But first before Trump
Mal: Whatever.
Mal: How will he ensure that nothing happens to me?
Lad: Please I hope the package is still coming I need it for real
Mal: No package.
Lad: Why no package
Lad: But you gave me receipt
Mal: Because you're unreliable.
Mal: What I give, I can take away.
Lad: Please don't withdraw it if what you told me is true, I was reliable but my only hope told me that it's against the law of our land to receive fire arms when you are not assigned by Government
Lad: Please don't take it back
Mal: "If what you told me is true"?
Lad: Don't remove the yam that you already place in my mouth
Lad: Yes I swear to you that everything I am telling you is the truth believe me
Mal: Have you ever been told, "If you're in a hole, stop digging"?
Lad: Yeah I understand
Lad: Are you still here ?
Mal: Again, what would your uncle do to ensure my safety? I don't want to have to ask you again.
Lad: Malcolm believe are safe that is it , action speaks louder than voice
Mal: Spare me the fucking bromides! I want details.
Lad: Did you give them my number I gave you to call me when it arrives Ghana
Mal: There's no package. Deal with it/
Lad: Then how come you got the receipt you send to me?
Lad: Was that why you said when you are in a hole stop digging?
Lad: I don't believe what you said now , I strongly believe that there is a package for real
Mal: I've sent an email cancelling the shipment. That receipt is as worthless as a Confederate dollar.
Lad: Okay
Lad: Since you decide so , let your will be done
Mal: Damn' right!
Lad: Thanks
Mal: Are you going to answer my question about your precious uncle?
Lad: No answer, I have told you already that he has assured your safety that all
Mal: I want to know how. Details, dude, details.
Lad: Take it or you leave it , no details
Mal: Fuck you. Deal is over, dead and fucking buried. If could have been done sweet and nice, but you had to wimp out and destroy everything.
Lad: Okay I heard you clearly
Lad: Thanks for your insult
Lad: I accepted
Mal: It's all that you deserve and all that you'll ever get from me, Bubba-Louie.
Lad: God bless you more
Mal: Go crying to your uncle.
Lad: May your days be long
Mal: And since there is no God, your blessings are useless.
Lad: May your pocket never run dry
Mal: May you grow a brain and learn how to use it.
Lad: Amen

So no safari, damn it. But at least he believed in the package and the contents, and felt the pain of knowing what he didn't get.

Thanks for reading.

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