A “Bromance” From Afghanistan – Moron Crossing

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Posted: Tue Jun 13, 2017 6:42 pm

Script-mixing military lad is back!

At first I just thought he was a dim one but now I'm convinced there's now a form of life that makes a hitlad look like a creature of pure genius.

This whole thing has been going on for about five months. Prepare to be amazed.

It started oh-so-gently here with him bouncing from script to script...

http://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=284050

...and then he came back a few weeks later. Words escape me.

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CHAPTER ONE: TRAVEL PLANS AND WEDDING BELLS…OR NOT

(Bear in mind that we’ve already blown through a couple of versions of a romance scam with the ask for cash coming from an inheritance scam. He’s both confusing and confused. From time to time he justs asks for the money and then needs to invent a reason why…and always fails. There are often gaps of several days as we miss each other, I mention the relevant ones.)

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Lad: Hello
hello

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Me: sorry i missed you
how are you?

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Lad: Am fine and you

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Me: okay, some days are better than others at my age
this weather makes my old bones feel sore

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Lad: GOOD
What are you doing now

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Me: watching a movie on the computer, it's friday afternoon and not many people here
have you ever seen Top Gun? silly but exciting

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Lad: Okay
No

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Me: you should, it makes you military guys look good

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(He sent his profile picture again.)

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Me: lol exactly
where did you get all those medals?

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(Time for yet another romance scam start-up script, his third so far.)

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Lad: I am widowed with one son who is just eleven years old. My wife died of breast cancer five years ago when my son as only 6 years old. Since after the death of my wife i have been a single helpless father..Right now I'm in Afghanistan for a peacekeeping mission but my son is in my house in the UK with a nanny. Am from Arizona, U.S.A. am 48 years

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Me: you told me that before
who is taking care of your son?
oh, i see. a nanny
my wife died of cancer too but that was a long time ago
isnt it the middle of the night in afghanistan now? do you work at night?:
hello? are you there?

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Lad: Am okay
oh good

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Me: there's nobody to talk to right now but you, the nurse is gone for the day

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(He just moves to the next step of the romance scam checklist totally ignoring everything else we've talked about. Amazing.)

Lad: Can i see your pretty face

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Me: pretty?
i'm too damn old to be pretty! very funny
i wouldn't know how to send a picture on the damn computer any way, that's a young man's game these days! i just use it to talk and email and watch videos

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Lad: Plaese

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Me: please what?

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Lad: Can i see your face again

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(Of course, he’s never seen my face.)

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Me: like i said, i don't know how to do that

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Lad: Why

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Me: i'm just an old man anyway, my face is mostly wrinkles!
you don't seem to answer very fast. are you working or talking to other people or something?
hello?

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Lad: Okay

(He dropped offline and then came back. His answers often take a few minutes at this point, it happens a lot until the subject of money comes up and then he drops everything else to deal with me.)

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Me: oh good, I thought you were gone

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Lad: No

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Me: it's pretty lonely just living in a hospital bed

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Lad: Why
Hospital bed

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Me: it's called hospice, there's nobody to take care of me and i'm not healthy enough to take care of myself

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Lad: Am so sorry for this okay

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Me: thank you, that's kind. i really only see the nurse and a couple of the other patients who can visit me in their wheelchairs
thank god for the computer or i'd just lie here staring at the ceiling.

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(Back to the next item on the romance checklist.)

Lad: Okay can you call me now

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Me: i don't have a phone here. at my age my hearing is so bad i couldn't use it anyway. that's why i have the computer to communicate

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Lad: Okay
What can you do

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Me: i spend time on the computer and i'm thinking of writing a book about my life. i don't know if anyone would read it but it would keep me busy
at least i had an interesting life!

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Lad: Okay

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Me: it's the middle of the night, what are you doing?

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Lad: Nothing

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Me: is this the time when you work? you work at night? if you're not doing anything why does it take so long for you to answer? it's hard to have a conversation this slow

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Lad: Yes

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Me: Working at night sucks, doesn't it? you never seem to be able to catch up on your sleep, right?
I can see that you're on line, why do you take so long to answer? it's hard to be friends on line that way and i need all the friends i can get

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CHAPTER TWO – ALL FOR $100

(Now that he's totally confused he just bails on the scripts and asks for money. Let the true lack of brain cells come bubbling to the surface as he falls deeper and deeper into my little game.)

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Lad: Okay
Can you sent $100

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Me: why?
don't you get a paycheck from the navy?

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Lad: So that i can come over there
No
Can you

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Me: over here? from afghanistan?

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Lad: Yes

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Me: you can't do that for $100
it's a long way!

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Lad: Why

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Me: to go from afghanistan to hawaii?
that costs WAY more than $100

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Lad: Yes
No

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Me: how can you fly halfway around the world for $100?

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Lad: Can you do it for me

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Me: do what?

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Lad: $100

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Me: so that you can visit me?

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Lad: Yes

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Me: how can you do that for that small amount of money? and the navy will let you do it?

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Lad: I have a litter money with me

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Me: so if i send you $100 you will come and visit me? How long can you stay?

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Lad: A month

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Me: wow, that would be fantastic! are you good with computers?

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Lad: Yes

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Me: oh good, you could help me start my book? i could tell you about my life, i promise it won't be boring

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Lad: Okay
Can you do that

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Me: so where do i mail a check to you? it may take some time to get there, it's a long way

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Lad: When are you going to sent the money

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Me: like i said, where do i mail it to?

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(Let the banghead

begin! Yet another script segment comes a-calling and then a huge pile of lad stupidity follows.)

Lad: I AM CONFIRMING TO YOU CHRISTIE TO SEND THE WESTERN UNION WITH THE ONLY ADDRESS WITH THE INFORMATION BEING THE RECEIVER NAME BELLOW.

RECEIVER NAME...Keith XXXXXXXXXX
ADDRESS.......... FLORIDA USA.

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Me: florida?

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Lad: Yes
You sent the money to there
Am waiting

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Me: do you have a street address for keith? florida is the whole state, they'll never find him that way

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Lad: Just sent it okay

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Me: you only sent his name and the state, that's not enough information at all. florida is huge you know

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Lad: Just do that now

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Me: are you not understanding me? you can't just send something to a name and a state. there has to be an address too

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Lad: No

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Me: how would western union know where it was supposed to go? that doesnt work

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Lad: Use the name and address

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Me: that's not an address, that's what i'm trying to tell you
i at least need to know what town he's in

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Lad: RECEIVER NAME... Keith XXXXXXXX
ADDRESS.......... FLORIDA USA

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Me: you sent that already, florida has 20 million people in it. it's not a town, it's a state. don't you know that?

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Lad: Go and sent the $100 okay

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Me: i don't have enough information to do that

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Lad: Why

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Me: i told you, i need the COMPLETE address for that, there are thousands of western unions in florida
what city does keith live in?

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Lad: ADDRESS.......... FLORIDA USA

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Me: the address should be
Name
Street
City
State (that's florida)

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Lad: Just go with the RECEIVER NAME... XXXXXXXXX
ADDRESS.......... FLORIDA USA

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Me: that can't possibly work!

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Lad: RECEIVER NAME... XXXXXXX
ADDRESS.......... FLORIDA USA
Go and try it okay

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Me: i can have the nurse try on monday but i know they're going to need more

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Lad: When are you going to sent it

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Me: like i said, i can have the nurse send it monday if that will work with no address

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Lad: Okay

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Me: can't you call Keith? it's only 9:00 in florida
then we can be sure it will get there right away

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Lad: Maysure you do that on monday

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Me: okay i'll try

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Lad: Good

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Me: when you get the money when can you come to hawaii?

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Lad: I we be come over there on tuseday

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Me: excellent, it will probably take a couple of days so i'll plan on thursday
you can probably stay with my nurse, he's a good guy
can you send your email address to me? mine is [email protected]
then i can forward it to him so we can make plans

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Lad: okay

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Me: i sure hope we have western union here, it's a pretty small island!

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Lad: Okay please do that on monday

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Me: okay, send me an email so i can give you the details without having to find you on chat

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Lad: That is my email address: (a fake revenue services name)@post.com

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Me: i'll send you one to make sure it works and then you reply, okay?

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Lad: ok

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Me: XXXXXXXXXX revenue? what's that?

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Lad: Are you sent me a message

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Me: i did

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Lad: Okay
Am waiting for your message

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Me: okay

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Lad: Good

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Me: try sending one to me, [email protected]

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Lad: Okay

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CHAPTER THREE – THE ROMANCE IS BACK

(So then he emails me the next step in his old romance script explaining how the money “she” is sending is for him to come on leave and get married! It’s just chunks of it randomly thrown together.)

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"We have the following leave durations to be considered and approved for accepted Applicants seeking for coming home of their fiancée on rescue mission and as I have offered you the chance to choose from the below leave durations with non-negotiable payments attached to each leave duration.

(Evidently the bride-to-be can buy longer leave duration for more bucks. He didn’t include the list so I don’t know what a honeymoon really costs!)

The United States military officers seeking for emergency leave to fulfill marital proposal and promises are entitled for the following leave/ emergency vacation options as stated below and must use it as requested and no misconduct is to be tolerated"

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Me: i got your message, what's all that stuff about marriage?

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Lad: No

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Me: what do you mean?

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Lad: Nothing

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Me: it says you're going on leave to get married, is that what you're telling them?

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Lad: No
I am come over there okay

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Me: i know, i'm just curious about the email you sent
that was weird

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Lad: I sent you a message to your box okay

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(And then the NEXT piece of the romance scam in another email. Wow.)

"The reasons of payment for emergency leave Application is to assist the US military authority in replacement expenses and supporting of troops coming to take over duties from any one going on emergency leave and must be considered worthy and a way of ensuring that our troops are protected and allowed to judiciously make use of their times for reasons they are applied and paid for. This must be well understood for any applicant/fiancée, and instructions made herein must be dully followed with the payment of the amount fixed on each emergency vacation choice made in accordance of the rules and all guidelines clearly stated on this memo to avoid mistake or termination of approval"

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Me: right, i got it. it said something about emergency leave to get married
was it a joke or something?

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Lad: When you sent the money on monday

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Me: like i said, i'll have the nurse help me. i'll send you an email if i don't see you on chat

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Lad: okay

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Me: you sent me the message about getting married again. are you getting married in hawaii and that's why you contacted me?

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Lad: Yes

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(Every time he gets a little deeper he gets lost…)

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Me: how exciting for you! i'm glad i can help you get here
what's her name? maybe i know her, lanai is a small place

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Lad:You can use the name

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Me: what do you mean? i was asking the name of the girl you're going to marry

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Lad: I don have anybody to marry okay

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Me: what? i asked if you were coming here to get married and you said yes, right?

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Lad: No
Am come to stay with you over there

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Me: all right, i'll talk to you monday. the head nurse will be here in a minute to take the computer for the weekend
the bitch
i hate her

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Lad: Oh my God

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Me: maybe when you're here you can talk to her and get her to let me keep the computer over the weekend
that would help me a LOT

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Lad: Okay

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Me: thank you!
I have to go now, good bye until Monday

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Lad: Thank you so much

(His Monday is gonna suck.)

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CHAPTER FOUR – LET THE PRAYING BEGIN

(These came throughout the night on Sunday every few hours. He’s totally fixated on the cash now.)

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Lad: My good brother how are you doing today and i hope is well
I went to church today and i pray for you

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Lad: My good brother and you promises to sent the money tomorrow

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Lad: Good morning my brother
How was your night

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Lad: MY GOOD BROTHER
HOW TO SENT THE MONEY
THE NAME : RECEIVER NAME... XXXXXXXXXX
ADDRESS.......... FLORIDA USA

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Lad: Hello

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Lad: What is happen

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Lad: Hello

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Me: hello, good morning!

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Lad: How was your day today

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Me: much the same as every day for someone my age. at least the weather is nice here

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Lad: Have try to send the money

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Me: i'm sending the nurse to the bank today, it's still too early for it to be open

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Lad: You promises to send the money today
Okay when

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Me: when he goes to lunch

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Lad: Okay
You promises that

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Me: i said i did, why do you keep asking?

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Lad: I one to know

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Me: what does that mean?

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Lad: about the money
How is your body

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Me: old!
Smile

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Lad: Okay
You can have the information
RECEIVER NAME... XXXXXXXX
ADDRESS.......... FLORIDA USA

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Me: yes, i know. i still think there will need to be an address but we'll see

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Lad: That is the name
Okay

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Me: yes, i know, you told me about 100 times already

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Lad: Okay am still waiting okay

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Me: it will be a few hours, stop being so jumpy about it. it makes you sound suspicious

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Lad: Okay
I need to over there okay

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Me: yes i know, i'm looking forward to that

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Lad: Okay

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(Time to waste some time and see how long I can stretch his day. He's been working a looooong shift. His answers always take several minutes so this went on forever.)

Me: what are you doing in the middle of the night there? Working?

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Lad: always on duty

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Me: i bet, that's a dangerous place

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Lad: I no that
i once to come over there

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Me: it's certainly safer here:

(He sends his picture...again.)

yes, you sent that before
you sure repeat yourself a lot!

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Lad: Yes

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Me: pretty funny
being on duty must be boring

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Lad: Thank you for that

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Me: at least nobody is shooting at you
right?

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Lad: Good

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Me: have you been shot at over there?

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Lad: No

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Me: that's good, a lot of soldiers have. i got shot at in ww2 and it scared the shit out of me

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Lad: Yes

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Me: are you in an office for your duty?

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Lad: Yes

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Me: like i said, must be boring. it's boring for me living in a bed!

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Lad: Why

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Me: all i have is this computer and a nurse that helps me, not too exciting

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Lad: Am waiting

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Me: for what?

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Lad: The money
When are you sending the nurse

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Me: i told you already, why do you keep asking me over and over again?

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Lad: My good brother i have to know okay

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Me: you do know, i already told you

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Lad: Yes

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Me: you can still book your plane with your credit card, you won't need the money until you get the bill
why don't you do that online and then give me the flight information? that would be the fastest and easiest

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Lad: No

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Me: why not?

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Lad: No i don have to do that

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Me: well then what do you have to do?

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Lad: You have to send it

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Me: i know, but if you don't book your flight online, how do you do that?

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Lad: I have to go there and pay cash

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Me: to the airport? Which one? you never told me where you were in afghanistan
you would think that the airports would be dangerous places

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Lad: Yes

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Me: so what city are you in?

(And then he was gone again. He had been 15 hours since his first "hello" and I can't imagine he won't jump back in when he thinks the money has been sent. Sadly, that won’t be happening and he’ll find out in his google chat tomorrow.)

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Me: hey, i looked it up and i do need the address.

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Look at this site: (WU FAQ site)
It says
To send money with Western Union, the following is a list of receiver information you may need:
Exact name as it appears on their government-issued ID
Receiver’s street address, city/province/state and country
You may also need additional receiver information depending on the service you choose:

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(Fast forward a few more days.)

Lad: Hello
What is happen
Are you there
My good brother i don understand you again

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Me: sorry, i must have just missed you
as i thought, western union needs the recipients name and full address
do you have that?
we can't send it without it

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Lad: My brother how are you doing
and how is your body
I have a sister that can pick up money
I will send you here name so that you can go hard to send it

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(Yet another script with a tweak or to to make it fit, I wonder if this was a quick attempt by a second lad before my buddy comes back.)

Lad: I AM PRAYING YOU RECEIVED HEALING AND STRENGHT FROM THE ALL MIGHTY GOD OUR CREATOR AND SAVIOR AMEN .

INFORMATION NAME
RECEIVER NAME:SARAH XXXXX

RECEIVER ADDRESS:XXXXXXXX Columus ohio 43206 usa
GOOD MORNING MY DEAREST FRIEND I WANT YOU TO UNDERSTAND MY EFFORT TRYING TO BE A SINCERE BROTHER TO YOU AND I WANT YOU TO ACCEPT MY FEELING PRAYING FOR YOU WISHING YOU QUICK RECOVERY TO ENABLE ME APPLY FOR MY LEAVE TO COME AND SEE YOU AND HAVE A BROTHERLY TALK BECAUSE I UNDERSTOOD YOU I WANT YOU TO UNDERSTAND THE $100 YOU ARE TRYING TO HELP ME WILL BE USEFUL AND THE NAME GIVEN TO YOU IS CORRECT WHILE MR KEITH JUST WENT TO SCOTLAND

(Methinks that the mule was told about the whole scammy thing. Yay.)

ALSO THE REASON WHY I MADE UP MY MIND TO GIVE YOU MY SISTER NAME AND ADDRESS TO SEND THE MONEY THROUGH MONEY GRAM OR WESTERN UNION BROTHER I WANT YOU TO BELEIVE THE TRUST AND CONFIDENCE WE GIVE EACH ORDER BEING GOOD AND ALWAYS WANT TO KNOW HOW YOU ARE DOING EVERY DAY BECAUSE SICKNESS IS NOT YOUR POSION AND THE HOSPITAL MUST LET YOU GO BECAUSE MY FEELINGS WISH YOU WELL AND QUICK RECOVERY PLEASE SEND THE $100 TO MY ONLY SISTER AVAILABLE TO HELP ME OUT AND ONCE I ARRIVE ME AND MY SISTER SARAH XXXXXXXX WILL PROCEED TO YOUR DOOR-STEP FOR IMMEDIATE VISTATION.

I AM PRAYING YOU RECEIVED HEALING AND STRENGHT FROM THE ALL MIGHTY GOD OUR CREATOR AND SAVIOR AMEN .

INFORMATION NAME

RECEIVER NAME:XXXXXXXXXX

RECEIVER ADDRESS:XXXXXXXXX Columus ohio 43206 usa

(He attached a photo of a bouquet of roses. No, seriously, he really did. This was all in the middle of the night so there were lots of "hello" until I logged on.)

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(Back to my original mult-script best buddy.)

Lad:Hello
How is your body

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Me: sore, thanks
lots of drugs, that's helping

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Lad: Okay
Did you received the message

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Me:what message

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(Same message about his "sister" and the roses again. How sweet.)

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Me: what's that all about?

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Lad:How to send the money

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Me: you went to scotland?

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Lad: Yes

(It was Keith that went to Scotland, I just like to confuse things.)

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Me: you sure get around, did the military send you there? what for?

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Lad: I went to see a friend over there
That is why i ask you to send the money

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Me: what does that have to do with it?

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Lad: To come and stay with you

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Me: right, but what does that have to do with scotland?

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Lad: My good brother went you send the money i have to come and stay with you okay

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Me: oh, i almost forgot, we don't have western union or monegram here
should i mail a check to your sister in ohio?

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Lad:Yes

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Me: okay, i can do that

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Lad: You ca do that to here

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(Time to try get me some bacon. Little did I know that we would go on for days without ever getting to that point.)

Me: that might take a while, i can do it faster if i send it to her bank account from mine,
would that work
that would get you to hawaii faster because you could buy the ticket today'

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Lad: Can you do that now

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Me: i can send the nurse this afternoon, yes
i do that a lot for buying things on other islands
all of the big stores on Oahu allow it

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(And then he was gone again.)

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CHAPTER FIVE – LET’S MOVE IN TOGETHER

Lad: My good brother
Are you there
Brother

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Me: i'm here
if you email me the account when you get up i can send the nurse to the bank tomorrow and then you can buy your ticket

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Lad: Okay my good brother
I will send you the account

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(Two more days pass.)

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Lad: Hello my brother

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Me: hello my friend

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Lad: How are you doing today

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Me: good thank you

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Lad: How is your body

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Me: looks like there's a storm coming, hope it doesn't mess with your trip
i'm okay, pain medication is working today

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Lad: Am sorry

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Me: thanks
it's okay, i had a lot of fun in my life

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Lad: Okay brother

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Me: are you going to send sarah's account information so i can send her the money?
is she going to buy the ticket for you?
i wish i could do it but i don't have that much money

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Lad: Okay

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(Time to throw another wrinkle at him. He always agrees with me and then has to scramble. Like shootin’ fish in a barrel.)

Me: she said something about getting me out of the hospital
are you really going to help me like that?

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Lad: Yes

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Me: that's great, i don't have all that long to live and it would be great to spend my days someplace else

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Lad: My Good Brother

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Me: i can tell the nurse i'll be leaving next week, that will be a surprise
it might be kind of expensive with my medicine

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Lad: Yes brother

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Me: can sarah afford that sort of thing?

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Lad: Yes brother

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Me: is she going to come here too?

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Lad: She is a good sister to me
Yes

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Me: it will be like having a new family for me, this is like a miracle

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Lad: Yes brother

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Me: what day should i tell the hospice i will be leaving? i know there are people waiting to get in

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Lad: Yes

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Me: if i send the money to sarah's bank today then you could leave tomorrow, right?
are you there?
the evil bitch nurse is going to take the computer away again for the weekend so i'll speak with you on monday and we can make a plan for the transfer and finding a place to live

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(Gone again but I’m sure he’ll be back. I’m looking forward to moving out of hospice, knowing they won’t let me back in, and spending the last of my money on the first month’s rent of a place for us to stay.
And remember…this is all about trying to get $100. Hilarious.)

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(Monday rolls around and we’re off again…)

Lad (at 3:00 am my time): My brother
Hello

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Me: (at 7:30 am) hello!
just so you know, your last message was at 5:30 in the morning here so I wouldn't see it until I got the computer at 7:30, which is right now
i'll leave the chat window open so i can see you return
i didn’ t see an email with the account information, did sarah send it?

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Lad: My brother
How are you doing and how is your body

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Me: i'm okay, we're having a huge storm so my bones are sore
we got a lot of rain!

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Lad: Okay my brother

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Me: how are you doing?
where are you?

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(Off line, and then I get this…ummm…interesting email twice in 2 minutes.)

Lad: Thank......My Good Brother.....Get Back to me.......God Bless you.

Good Day my lovely brother i appreciate your email i love your massage receiving to know how you are doing because i feel about you always want you to be happy in every situation you found your self because i will be with you and make sure i take good care of you keeping you happy to enjoy your long life brother i must grant you joy money can not buy because i love you from my heart i accepted being your friend and brother in the lord i really want you to understand that situation i am going through was never my wish because i have money in my account but can not access until i arrive in united state living with you with joy and promise to provid everything you need to be happy with me i appreciate everything about you also keeping every communication in my heart because i trust you and love you keeping your world.

I remain faithful and never need money for my self but to apply for the ticket so that i will be authorized to arrive in United State meeting you and i will drive you around and drive you to my bank for what i have to place your name being my brother and my benefiiary if anything happens to my life beause we face terrible situation every day and i want you to know you are the only one i talk to the only man i communicate from my email because everything will be secret and never you give out my information to any body because you alone is the only man i keep in my heart i accept in my life and i have three sister which Sarah went to DEMARK for a visit while i sent email to my younger sister to reply and help me for the account to receive without any mistake and delay i have read your email and only trying to make sure the $100 is used for my coming as soon as possible i received your massage and i am waiting to hear fro you after reading my heart because i must speak my heart to you brother i am happy and trust to respect the feelong of brother and true friend i pray for God to guild and protect you every eah new day to meet you and share the good news together AMEN.

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(I suspect that means that “Sarah” got warned about being a mule and he lost an asset in the US. Yay. Note that he says he “appreciates my email” but I’ve not sent one. It seems that he simply doctored another romance script to be for his “brother” instead of his female victim, probably the most complicated thing he’s done in a while. Ends up coming off a little creepy. “i must grant you joy money can not buy because i love you from my heart”, “living with you with joy and promise to provid everything you need to be happy with me i appreciate everything about you also keeping every communication in my heart because i trust you and love you keeping your world”…yuck. It gets worse as the days go by.)

00000

Me: It's good to have a new brother in my life but don't you have to go back to Afghanistan in a month?
What's your younger sister's name? Should I send her an email or something so she can send the account and get things moving?

00000

(There’s a lot of sporadic “my brother” and “okay” as he bounces on and off his gmail account; I’ll skip them as they don’t add anything to the bait (except a level of irritation)).

00000

Me: you sure do seem to have a lot of trouble staying on line, is that because you're in afghanistan?

00000

CHAPTER SIX – SCRIPT ROULETTE (AGAIN)

(Another day passes and now he’s deep into his romance scripts, adjusting them to make them fit this new relationship. Not only does it end up being really odd but the original version is pretty awful.)

00000

Me: hello, i see you're online!

00000

Lad: brother how are you doing today

00000

Me: the storm is over and its a beautiful day here
i never heard from your other sister
is she all right?

00000

(Bring on the scripts! He’s got them mixed up a bit as the length of his stay has changed and he’s back to the MG payment even though we’re on our second bank transfer mule. He also seems to get in a rhythm where he spews a random chunk of script before answering my questions.)

Lad: i really pray for you every day because you are the only bother i have really cant prove how much i love in my heart sharing good feelings and happiness of living together this 6month leave

00000

Me: 6 months? that's fantastic! when will i hear from you sister so i can send the money for your travel?

00000

Lad: yes my good brother there is something honest i want you to understand we dont touch cash here in the barrack which made every to confirm form my immediate arriving to your door-step
what i love is your trust and bear in mind any money you are sending must received by security that was why i want my sister to received and round up because i must arrive to be with you before the next 48hours to prove my sincerity keeping to trust and confidence we founf in each order.

00000

Me: okay, so i will wait to hear from her?

00000

Lad: yes immediately i apply i will advise you with money gram information to send the money ok for the instant value of my coming to you brother
my good brother please i love and want you t rest by sleeping to regain your health perfectly yes i want you to live and enjoy the best man of his generation being my best friend
j am always wishing you happiness of celebrating my arriving to united state

00000

Me: what?
i already told you there is no moneygram here
your sister was going to send me an account to send the money to from my bank because sarah couldn't do it
what are you talking about?

00000

Lad: ok
ok
ok
i will give that to you once i apply to be with you my good brother

00000

Me: you mean after your leave is approved?

00000

Lad: i want you to trust my heart proving you bet of everything i have and best man to my world which all i see you being grate and celebrtaing greatness you are brother i love you
yes once i apply i will inform you to send the money immediate ok

00000

Me: ok

00000

Lad: that will be soonest this month p,lease keep constant communication to me because i want to know how you are doing every day

(And I’m happy to waste your time every day...)

00000

Me: ok
it's good to have someone to talk to!

00000

Lad: yes
i appreciate you i respect you from my heart

00000

Me: i'm looking forward to meeting you

00000

Lad: God made us to know each order and be honest to rell me what so ever that border you okay

00000

Me: how will you get here? is there an airline that flies from afgahanistan to hawaii?

00000

(He was gone for a couple hours and then popped in for a few minutes.)

Lad: Mybrother

00000

Me: hello again
i looked it up, it's already tomorrow in afghanistan so we're talking in two different days
pretty interesting, don't you think?

00000

Lad: Good brother

00000

Me: yes?

00000

Lad: Okay
What are you doing now

00000

Me: listening to an audio book, science fiction
"2001 a space odyssey", a classic
what about you?

00000

Lad: just trying to reload my Magazine for duty within the next 2hours

(That certainly was interesting out of the blue!)

00000

Me: you mean with bullets?

00000

Lad: Yes

00000

Me: yikes
have you had to shoot anybody?

00000

Lad: No brother

00000

Me: that would be a tough thing
if you have a gun, what kind of duty are you doing?
especially in the middle of the night?

(And then he’s off line…so he logged on just to tell me he was loading his gun? He gets stranger every day.)

00000

CHAPTER SEVEN – TIMING AND HOUSING

(The conversation continues that next day and gets more and more bizarre. And you didn’t think it was possible, did you? I sure didn’t.)

00000

Lad: yes i am a military officer
My brother

00000

Me: sorry i missed you, i wasn't on line
i should be in the morning

00000

Lad: My good brother
How are you doing
How is your body

00000

Me: i'm doing okay, where did you go? you always seem to text before I'm awake!
I also never heard from the other sister

00000

Lad: My brother

00000

Me: hi
how are you?

00000

Lad: Am cool
And you

00000

Me: not bad

00000

(And off we go again with the lovey-dovey stuff. As much as he tries to adjust it from it’s romance scripts he always seems to fall a little short. The additional chunks for the steps in a romance scam keep popping up too and they don’t make a lot of sense sometimes. And I remind you again…this is all to scam me out of $100.)

Lad: my brother i understand you and really want you to know the truth not sending the money because i must leave the camp to be with you which everything must come into confirmation ending of this month i really feel for you and honestly going drive you around and give you confidence of long life my dearest brother and through friends God will protect you and guld us to meet together okay

00000

Me: not sending the money? what do you mean?

00000

Lad: i appreciate the nurse helping you because i miss your communication always want to know how you are doing okay

00000

Me: i appreciate that

00000

Lad: i will need the money to be send at the right time okay so that i will speedily use it for my coming to your house as soon as possible

(Sounds like he’s having some bank account problems, makes me cry.)

00000

Me: okay, just let me know when that is and where to send it

00000

Lad: yes i want you to know much important you are to me because you are the only one i talk to i care for and always want us to prove the feeling of trusting each order by being good at all condition

00000

Me: it sounds pretty lonely there

00000

Lad: yes i want you to know my heart because i will not hot your feeling and i will respect every agreement we have for each order when i thinking of your condition i always ask God to protect you and heal every pains you are going through brother ......i accepted to be your friend is not because of money but being the next to you and also you being the next to me which i am going to take you where ever i am going to be i have the good car and if you can drive good while we roll together and enjoy the peace of our land okay

00000

Me: okay

00000

Lad: i really want to know how you are doing because i will soon return to office and will get back to you while you update me right time we meet agin here this week-end

00000

Me: i'm okay, it's hard to get out of bed these days, my hips have a lot of arthritis in them but i have good painkillers!

00000

Lad: okay please apply exercise to help the body because i want you to be strong and happiness because you confidence in my heart being with you is guarantee my brother indeed

(Wow…)

00000

Me: lol i do what i can at my age!

00000

Lad: how are you buying your food i want to make sure some is there to assist you for the in to shine being heart of his generation because i will not take you common always promised to respect and honor your worlds in every condition which i found joy in my heart being a trusted brother also ready to give you everything i have once i return to united state okay i will make you happy and i will grant you access to have everything you want sweet brother

(Say what?)

00000

Me: they feed me here in hospice, it's like a hospital
the food is crap but at least i get it! once you get me out of here we'll figure it out
i get a little money from social security

00000

Lad: okay my brother make sure you protect your money and never you give out my information because you are the only one i want to know the only one i trust and i can only share myfeeling with because i want you to know everything about me and love me from the deep of your heart as we see each order ending and there you are believe me and you is going to live and rest in a sweet home pain in white color and everything you want i will do foe you.
yes i am will to do everything for you because i trust you and know you will not ignore or disrespect me for any reason,.

00000

Me: why not tell anyone about you if you're going to be my friend here? of course, my nurse knows you're coming

00000

Lad: yes
you are free to tell every once but please dont give out my information brother that is all i mean

00000

Me: what do you mean?

00000

Lad: i am free but you know i am not much good in internet and i only want to keep you in my friends and my only sister because i dont always chat because of the nature of my duty i love everything about you brother that is why i humble my self and willing to accept every world from you and ready to give you happiness money can not buy i trust you writing to me and i believe

00000

Me: so when are you and sister planning on coming here?

00000

Lad: this month with every guarantee to see each order this last Friday of may okay i want to be only your friend and i want to read only massage received from you period i want you to understand my worlds because you

00000

Me: okay, then i'll give notice to the hospice that i'm leaving that day and i won't be coming back
that will make them happy, it's crowded here

00000

Lad: yes i will take you out of the hospital environment immediately i arrive in the state because i am thinking what to do and to make you happy living long life and seeing my driving you round the state and take you where ever you wish to go brother trust me i will drive you in there and staywith you because i val to honey my promised to you and never to disappoint you brother which is the reason why i plead you to understand my massage to send the money at the right time with the correct information i will forward to you for the transfer.

00000

Me: okay, let me know when and i'll take care of it

00000

Lad: yes my brother i will and please always take good care of your heart because you are precious to me and i am ready to respect every covenant we made to each order.

00000

Me: will you be able to pay some of the rent? your sister too? i just need to find a place for us

00000

Lad: my brother i love saying what i will do yes i am ready to give you everything i have to secure the best house where we dwell together yes count everything possible and keep constant communication because are the only one can put smile on my face and i am for good promising you our relationship will grant you everything you want in this world

00000

Me: okay, sounds great
you're sure about the timing, right? once i leave here i can't come back in and i'm too old to live on the street
☺
time for me to go to lunch
i'll talk to you later okay?

00000

(Five days go by.)

00000

Lad: My good brother how are you doing

00000

Me: i'm good
its 7 am here as i write this, it looks like your message was from several hours ago

00000

(Yet another day.)

00000

Lad: My brother am so sorry for that

00000

Me: are you all right? i haven't heard from you when i;m on line in a while

00000

Lad: My brother how are you doing

00000

Me: i'm well, message me when you can

00000

Lad: My good brother

00000

Me: hello

00000

Lad: Brother how are you doing

00000

Me: not bad, and you?

00000

Lad: Am cool brother

00000

CHAPTER EIGHT – OFF TO AFRICA

Me: what's going on with your trip? what happened?
i thought you were coming here, did that change?

00000

Lad: My brother you have to send the money to moneygram

00000

Me: you know i can't do that

00000

Lad: Brother why

00000

Me: we don't have that here, i told you all about that
you wanted me to transfer it to your sister's bank

00000

Lad: My brother i have to go to Africa

(I wonder where this is leading. He’s not much for keeping track of what’s going on in the first place, adding something new is going to be a stretch for him.)

00000

Me: africa? why?

00000

Lad: Commander have to send me in africa

00000

Me: well that sucks, how long will you have to be there?

00000

Lad: Brother went i reach there i will let you know
how to send the money

00000

Me: for what? you're not coming here
makes me sad, i was looking forward to having someone visit

00000

Lad: Why

00000

Me: i was happy that i was going to get out of this hospital
with you and your sister

00000

Lad: I have to going to Africa so that you can transfer the money okay

00000

Me: what do you mean?

00000

Lad: Brother why

00000

Me: why what? i don't understand
i have to go for a few minutes, i'll be right back so we can talk
i'm back, where did you go?

00000

(We missed each other on and off with “are you there” and “where are you” for a couple weeks and then finally collided again.)

Lad: are you there old friend?

00000

Me: hello, yes i'm here
how was africa?

00000

Lad: hello
how are you

00000

Me: not too bad, i haven't heard from you in a long time
how was africa?

00000

CHAPTER NINE – SEND THE MONEY, JUST DO IT…BUT TO WHERE?

(Apparently he’s run out of scripts and has nothing left but asking if I’m sending him money. Over and over. Bear in mind that he hasn't told me WHERE to send it.)

Lad: are you send the money

00000

Me: what do you mean? you went to africa
you were going to come here but didn't
made me sad

00000

Lad :Are you going to do it

00000

Me:do what?

00000

Lad: send money

00000

Me: for what? you never came here

00000

Lad: i will

00000

Me: when?
you said you were coming before but you didn't

00000

(A week passes.)

Me: where did you go?

00000

Lad: hello
are you there?
when are you sending the money

00000

Me: you never gave me anywhere to send it. What’s going on?

00000

Lad: I say you should send the money to usa

00000

Me: okay, but to who? you mentioned your sister but then she left town, right?
and why do you need it now?

00000

Lad: no
you have to send it to my bro name

00000

Me: for what?

00000

Lad: why are you saying

00000

Me: why do you need money?

00000

Lad: if you one to send it just do it okay

00000

Me: answer my question. you haven't told my why you need it and you haven't told me who to send it to. i need to know both of those things

00000

Lad: i have to come over there and stay with you

00000

Me: when? you said you were coming months ago and i almost moved out. do you know what would have happened if i did that?

00000

Lad: no

00000

Me: i would have no place to live, that’s what
it’s starting to be very hard to know exactly what you're doing

00000

Lad: can you send the money

00000

Me: tell me when you are coming

00000

Lad: i am come want you send the money
if you can send the money this week

00000

Me: did you make a reservation yet? you can do that without paying for it you know. then i'll know when it is
you can email me the itinerary

00000

Lad: okay i should send where to send the money

00000

Me: yes, i need that too. please email me your itinerary, then i can make arrangements here
send it to [email protected]
hello?
where are you?

00000

Lad: Go and check your mail

00000

(Back to a script from way back when.)

Lad email, from “In1and Revenue Services” (he crosses up more scripts than I can keep track of):

The reasons of payment for emergency leave Application is to assist the US military authority in replacement expenses and supporting of troops coming to take over duties from any one going on emergency leave and must be considered worthy and a way of ensuring that our troops are protected and allowed to judiciously make use of their times for reasons they are applied and paid for. This must be well understood for any applicant/fiancée, and instructions made herein must be dully followed with the payment of the amount fixed on each emergency vacation choice made in accordance of the rules and all guidelines clearly stated on this memo to avoid mistake or termination of approval
Here is the information you will use to send the payment through Money Gram or Western union.
RECEIVERS NAME:XXXXXXXXXXXX
CITY:MAYSLANDING
STATE:NEW JERSEY
COUNTRY: USA
M.T.C#................
Amount: $100

00000

Me: what are you doing?

00000

Lad: Am at work
and you

00000

Me: no, i mean why are you sending me that email? you know i don't have western union or moneygram here

00000

Lad: why

00000

Me: what do you mean why? because we don't have them here. i told you that a long time ago
you were going to send me a bank account to send it to your sister but never did

00000

Lad: How can you send the money

00000

Me: i just told you

00000

Lad: Am not happy

(I bet…)

00000

Me: what do you mean? you knew about needing an account weeks ago. you said i could send it to your sister and then you said she left and you never gave anybody else to send it to

00000

Lad: no brother

00000

Lad: what do you mean no? there's nothing else i can do to send it to you. you already know that

00000

Lad: why can you fine a way to send this money

00000

Me: i already told you the only way i have available to me here. why is that a problem?

00000

Lad: ok

00000

Me: so where can i send it?

(Gone.)

00000

Me: hello, have you been ignoring me? Why?

00000

Lad: When are you send it

00000

Me: send what?

00000

Lad: the money

00000

Me: you never gave me any place to send it
and you never said when you were coming here

00000

Lad: you have to send the money to usa

00000

Me: you've had many paydays since we first spoke and you still can't afford a ticket?
What did you do with your money?

00000

Lad: just send it okay

00000

Me: you never told me where!

00000

Lad: can you send it

00000

Me: if you got paid already can't you buy the ticket yourself?
and you still never said when you were coming
i still have to know when i'm moving and that's a complicated process

00000

Lad: just do it okay

00000

Me: you need to answer my questions, this is a very important change in my life you know

00000

Lad: yes

00000

Me: yes what?
hello?

00000

(The conversations are now nothing more than begging for money. If it starts being interesting again I’ll post some more but I don’t think he has room in his brain for anything else. Gotta love the geniuses…)

Posted: Mon Jun 19, 2017 10:23 pm

Well this wasn't what I thought I'd get...

The google hangout messages bounced so I sent an email and got this in reply:

Attention: Car1ing Christie

I have read your email with the content well noted, all this people that you have been dealing with, are none officials, so I will only advise you to follow my instruction if you want everything to be DONE. There is a document needed in other to allow the paying bank release your fund into your nominated bank account.

We want nothing from you, so if you can procure this document, your fund will be transfer immediately.
The document cost only $100.

Awaiting for your urgent responds

CONGRATULATIONS. Please The Bank Wait For Your Expedite Response.

Yours in Service,
Chairman Federal Reserve Board New York,
CC: FBI
CC: United Nation

Wow.

Posted: Fri Jun 23, 2017 4:54 pm

And now we're fully into an inheritance scam. Same guy. Amazing.

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