Sister Mary *AUDIOBOOKS* *NSFW* SAFARI UPDATE

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Posted: Thu Aug 10, 2017 4:07 pm

^^^ Sounds very gaysexual. h/t Toastypants

From Hump to Sister:

Quote:

Thank you madam ,your the reason while am on your island with out you,your island will not know me,I just hope I can come there one day and see you in person,your such a good person.also I was inform that your sending a package for me by the attorney assistance?well if that is true am happy and god bless you and continue to keep you alive and healthy for me

Quote:

Oh yes Mr hump here I nearly forgot please forgive! Yes the children beist so happy that ye read to us and they be very sad at how things turn out out that little Penelope say why dear sister mary Margaret Katherine why not thee and thine create wonderful gifts for Mr hump here and kindly thus thank him in that kind manner! And indeed what a grand plan so it twas supposed to be a surprise but the children make all sorts of crafts and gifts from their sweet hearts and the kind attorney promises to get them to you and it will be so wonderful! I hope you don't mind Mr hump here!

And Hump to Reporter Jenna:

Quote:

Thank you Jenna for your email and sorry for the late reply, i was just taking my time to know how my email gets to you base on a lot of treat on my life that i had during the case so i need to know who you are before . so accept my apologies.Sis marry just email me and told me about you , so that mean your of no harm . please feel free to ask me anything your sure that i have the answer and i will answer you ok? do have a wonderful day

I can't imagine he'd be suspicious but Jenna will hold off responding as to not be too similar to Sister Mary's online habits.

Posted: Thu Aug 10, 2017 4:45 pm

I'm trying to get him to go to Port Harcourt to meet with his movie producer friend so he can make the campaign video. He keeps complaining about how the cost of fuel has risen so he can't go there, but he will probably go eventually. We are still waiting on getting the delivery company to contact him, but waiting will do him good.

Quote:

Bro your research is wrong the cost of fuel is high now so It cost more to that,now if he meet me in Lagos,to gether people will be hard but if it is in pH,he can get as many as,so the best thing is pH,trust me l know what am saying bro just trust me

Is there anything else he can do for the campaign? I'm going to tell him to see if he can find people in Lagos who are interested in supporting him. Maybe posters or flyers.

Posted: Thu Aug 10, 2017 4:52 pm

The reporter is going to ask if he is going to hold rallies in Nigeria to convince all Nigerians in Michigan to vote Penfold, thus tipping the election. The media is going to be important in this election and if Humphere can play the media, Penfold is sure to win. He needs to make commercials, sound bytes, hold rallies and make campaign signs. Penfold needs the Nigerian vote!

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

I think the Nigerians in Michigan will be the turning point in the election. If Penfold can get them there's no stopping him.

This lad continues to top himself

Quote:

Thank you sir for your email, i can not believe am not only discussing with just a governor but the governor in one of the most respectful country grate America, it is my honor my excellency , me and mr Justin are trying to work something out on how i can render a little help in my own little way? Sir i wish you the best of luck,There is one of this words they said, and it goes like this, ( who so ever we said we are, that is who we are)so if the devil him self (fellatio) can proclaim you governor, that means you should stop at nothing until you are seated on that throne , and am sure you will, do have a grate day and my greetings to your family, am hoping to meet them one day

Followed by

Quote:

Good day sir,please do not be offended by my email i plead with you for a while now i have been discussing with your assistant mr Justin because earlier before now, he collected a few information from me, and he said it is for the delivery of my award, and later on he told me that the delivery company will contact me to deliver to me, But am a kind of worried because it is not possible to send money oversee through courier company from the research i have made so far since i got to know that courier company is involve .So sir i want to know, why cant the money be transfer to me through bank transfer to make it simple and easy for me?
and also sir how long will it take for me to get this reward as you assured me before now?
Please sir pardon my manners and do not be offended ok, i will wait for your reply on this. thank you

He is worried.

Quote:

Hello Mr. Humphere

I thank you for your kind words of encouragement. Unfortunately a direct bank transfer in this case is not possible. There are papers you need to sign and the laws of the State of Michigan demand that we use this delivery company. As you are well aware, times are tough, and we look to save a dollar whenever and wherever possible. The state has a singed contract with this delivery company as they came in with a fantastic bid. I would not worry sir. Your check and package should be arriving shortly. I thank you for your support, and remember VOTE PENFOLD! And vote often.

Posted: Thu Aug 10, 2017 9:52 pm

I said that they had special authorization from the state of Michigan. He didn't get two of my emails, and I worry that he didn't get my most recent ones. Ask if he got my last email. I want him to make campaign T-shirts.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

^^ And hats. Don't forget about the hats. Very Happy

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Feathers continues to send our lad threatening emails from his jail cell.

edited to replace "Penfold" with "Feathers" doh!

Posted: Fri Aug 11, 2017 2:39 am

Umm... Feathers? Our lad asked earlier if the people at the campaign rally should wear campaign T-shirts. I will detail the clothing more tomorrow, when he will also see the list of possible travel destinations for his package. None of them are particularly convenient for him, but if he wants something domestic, I'm sure we could theoretically arrange pickup in Maiduguri.

Posted: Fri Aug 11, 2017 3:02 pm

We have a potential safari in the works!

Quote:

Bro am i will go to Douala (Cameroon ) that is close to me most. but since i don't have international passport , then i will need to send them that my id that i gave you and then go with my wife brother that have international id,, please is there any documents you will give me to prove that i am the right person?

WHAT IS THE NAME OF THIS DELIVERY COMPANY?

I'm sure his wife's brother will be very happy to accompany him to track down a package in another country where they don't speak English. Nothing could possibly go wrong with that plan. There is definitely nothing wrong with only having one international passport instead of two.

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Sep 2013 Posts: 2210

GPS contacts him and asks which location he would like to receive his package:

Quote:

Good day,

A parcel has been submitted for delivery to you at our nearest dispatch hub. Please select the preferred dispatch hub from the list below to receive your parcel.

-Abidjan
-Antananarivo
-Bamako
-Dakar
-Douala
-Korhogo
-Harare
-N'Djamena
-Nouakchott
-Parakou
-Tunis
-Windhoek

Please respond within 48 hours with your preferred parcel destination. A scan of your ID card will be required prior to shipment and again at upon receipt of your parcel.

We look forward to providing you with the best in customer service.

<GPSE Risky-free Sheeping Service>

Clearly he doesn't completely understand the request yet:

Quote:

GOOD DAY SIR/ MADAM AND I HAVE SEEN THE LIST OF THE COUNTRIES YOU OPERATE, PLEASE CAN I KNOW THE NAME OF THIS DELIVERY COMPANY? SO I WILL KNOW HOW TO MAKE A CHOICE ON WERE TO GET MY PARCEL. THANK YOU

I basically just resend him the same email, requesting that he select his location from the list.

Quote:

Parcels are delivered through GPSE, the World's Most Secure Shipping Solution. Parcel will be fully trackable upon selection of your preferred dispatch hub. Please select your preferred dispatch hub from the list below to receive your parcel.

---

Good day,

A parcel has been submitted for delivery to you at our nearest dispatch hub. Please select the preferred dispatch hub from the list below to receive your parcel.

-Abidjan
-Antananarivo
-Bamako
-Dakar
-Douala
-Korhogo
-Harare
-N'Djamena
-Nouakchott
-Parakou
-Tunis
-Windhoek

Please respond within 48 hours with your preferred parcel destination. A scan of your ID card will be required prior to shipment and again at upon receipt of your parcel.

We look forward to providing you with the best in customer service.

Posted: Fri Aug 11, 2017 6:18 pm

More confirmation that we should have a safari to Douala soon:

Quote:

Yes I have email them now that I will prefer cameroon.when the package arrive ,I must borrow or I will sale my generator to get there,but until then I will try,bro all this thing wouldn't have been possible with you.thanks alot

You're very welcome Mr. Humphere. It's impressive how giving a bunch of unpleasant options will make people feel good about their choice. I'm sure his wife's brother is also very excited for this trip.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

He is trying to weasel out of traveling

Quote:

Good day my excellency , and i hope your alright? i got and email today from a delivery company that will deliver my parcel from you,and unfortunately they don't exist here in Nigeria. so the closest country to go and pick it up from the list they gave me is Douala in Cameroon ,please here are my confusion on this. and i will need your advice
1 the last time your assistant told me the money am receiving is $25000 but when i told him you said it was $100.000 he check and verify that is is true, because of the initial mistake he made on it so i want to know the amount that the parcel contain.
2 since my picture is in the parcel, can i send someone that has international passport and also give him the id that i have to go and receive it for me?
3 is there any document that you can give me to go with in order for them to know i am the right person without stressing me?
The delivery company ask me to response withing 48 hours, so i will wait for your email before i respond back to them,

I think he is going to be stressed

Posted: Fri Aug 11, 2017 10:11 pm

I assured him that the videos he made are enough proof of identity, so he just has to show up to receive the package. He's currently planning how to go to Cameroon, and I've also reminded him that he needs to go to Port Harcourt at some point to film the campaign video:

Quote:

Am trying to source out money to go to Cameroon , but when am coming back from there , i will stop at ph and tell my friend all about this and me and him will seat and think of a creative way to present it and while all this thing is going on?i will be keeping you informed and you will suggests your ideas too,then i will leave him to make the arrangement then i will come back and meet him the next 3 or four days for the video making,what do you think?

I wonder who his "wife's brother" is. It sounds as if he's relatively well-off, since he has his own bank account and passport. I want him to travel soon so things can start going wrong.
Edit:
This just in:

Quote:

plan will cost me much so i will go by road, am a little bit afraid bro, i can not believe this is real? bro is there anything you can tell me,
1 will there be any risk ?
2 will i have to pay the delivery company any money?
3 i send them that my id i gave you and the video link, i hope that is enough?
4 what do i hope to see inside the parcel ? bro the surprise is scaring me. please tell me something
5 it is late now , but by tomorrow i will call my friend and inform him that i am coming over for some government work, he is a a very funny guy and he is always happy some times over happy not to get serious but he is very good, also i know how to get the best out of him,, please answer me bro is there anything i don't know about this whole thing,
6, i was discussing with my pastor this evening in church about this because i need to talk to someone, he said it is good but the only thing he ask me is, are you sure someone has not set me up maybe this is a way to get me arrested? but i told him, i gave you people my picture my address and phone number and everything you need to fine me so if you people need me locked up you should have come to my place as easy as that instead of taking me to another country, bro since then that question keep ringing in my mind. so bro don't be angry,i hope this whole thing is safe for me?

We won't get you arrested, but if you do something stupid, maybe with encouragement from us, that's your problem. Twisted Evil

Posted: Fri Aug 11, 2017 10:15 pm

I hope Mr H doesn't take too long to collect the package - he might miss his part in the Penfold gubernatorial campaign, and that would never do!

Incidentally; if you ever need a reason why something has been delayed, held over, or whatever in anything involving Penfold, why not say that it was done on Cammy's advice in her new role as his spiritual advisor?

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Quote:

Are you serious? Look, I busted my ass to get the criminal Feathers convicted and put on Death Row and you come back with these stupid ass questions? Grow a pair and be a man. The package contains a check for $100, 000. Beyond that I do not know. It is my understanding that my assistant has put some cash in the envelope as well. You will have to check with him to get the total amount. It is also my understanding that Sister Mary has placed some cash and thank you cards from the orphans in the envelope. Check with her for the amount. I don't know the exact total but I know it is a shitload of cash and a check for $100,,000 in that envelope. Why in the fuck would you trust someone else to pick it up? If it was me I would haul ass and make sure nobody else got that package.

Mf. Humphere, despite all I have done for you I find it amazing that you continue to make demands upon my busy time. I have no document to give you and I cannot believe you have the nerve to ask me for one. Have you forgotten how badly you fucked up the cross examination video and how I had to save your ass? And furthermore, my assistant tells me that you promised a rally in support of my bid for Governor. Where is the video of this rally? He also tells me that you are having PENFOLD FOR GOVERNOR hats and t-shirts printed. Where are those? Mr. Humphere, maybe it is time for you to stop being so self absorbed and start paying back the people who helped you and supported you through this whole ordeal and got you to where you are now.

Baiting Guru Joined: 25 Jul 2017 Posts: 2107

What an incredible story that is unfolding.....great entertainment!!!

Posted: Fri Aug 11, 2017 11:21 pm

Thanks! This is the first time I've been a part if a big bait like this, and it's been an extremely rewarding experience. With any luck we will have an unhappy lad stranded in Cameroon in a few days. On another note, I like how Penfold interprets my discussions with the lad in different wats than he intended. It must be frustrating for him to always have someone reprimanding him for something he didn't do, while also encouraging him to speed things up and apologize to people. Lake Amour, we are sorry for breaking him.

Posted: Sat Aug 12, 2017 12:27 am

^^^ Ha, no you guys are fine! I wish I could think as fast as you guys. My part of the bait is very boring.

The beautiful reporterette Jenna has made contact with the lad and will encourage his participation in the heated campaign. Sure hope he doesn't mess it up. The rest of my characters... silence.

Posted: Sat Aug 12, 2017 12:32 am

You started all of this, so you don't have to be so humble about it. He's really paranoid about the Jenna thing, so he has forwarded each of her emails to me asking for advice. After I mentioned the probability of her being a Snorky, he must have become nervous. I'm encouraging him to respond to all of her questions very thoroughly. He is traveling to Cameroon by road, which should be fun for him.

Posted: Sat Aug 12, 2017 12:51 am

Yes, the most amazing thing to me is watching a figment of my imagination come to life. It really is surreal!

I've found my characters provide needed balance to the bait and I wonder if other baits end prematurely due to a lack of balance. If every character were Feathers or the inspector, he'd be long gone. But Sister, Connie and now Jenna I think are essential to having him go this long. Every time he thinks something is up, there's another character there to reassure him that all is fine. A little boring yes, but essential!

I'm not trying to be humble nor toot my own horn but this bait continues to absolutely fascinate me! Everyone involved has been outstanding!

Baiting Guru Joined: 25 Jul 2017 Posts: 2107

it took me a while to figure out all the characters since I came in so far into the story, but it really is amazing. The humour is obvious, but then I keep remembering the lad is a criminal who thinks nothing of committing fraud, so that makes the humour have more of a "bite" to it.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

All of my characters, from Feathers to Penfold to Mr. Muttley to Pastor B are outlandish, but it's the calm, reassuring characters of Mr. M and Lake that really make this bait. Without them our lad would have twigged long ago. Lake, feel free to toot your own horn. All of us involved in this bait have created an incredible fantasy world, and the lad has totally bought in. His life would be totally boring without us. But thanks to us he lives in a world of Satanic orphan(s), video court tesimony, murder, payment for audiobooks and large cash rewards. He should be grateful.

Posted: Sat Aug 12, 2017 2:13 am

Yay, I was complimented! Very Happy

All jokes aside, we've really been slowly building a complete fantasy for him. New characters briefly pop in, say a few things, and leave, and a few are always around for him to talk to. The sheer magnitude of this is best shown by the cross-examination questions, where everything he's been told throughout the bait culminated in one thing. When people start baiting, people always tell them to only message once a day and to try and de-educate the lad. While that's generally good wisdom, I think part of why my character has been so successful is because I break those rules. By always trying to respond to him quickly, he really feels like I'm doing everything possible to try and help him, while making myself seem more real. When Ii do research and tell him the distances between places or which video editing software to use, it further reinforces the concept that his happiness is my priority. Lake Amour made a good point about balance. While I would appreciate it if a more experienced member would elaborate, the balance between the characters in this bait have really contributed to its success. Part of it is that we have had five people contribute so far, but we have a wide enough range in personalities to make everything believable. While Cammy and Feathers were often incomprehensible, Penfold and Mr. Matthew have a more official tone. Some characters say and do a lot of weird things, like the goat sex videos, other characters put those things in a more believable context, making the layers of absurdity seem more normal. Although a lot of this bait's success is because of this particular lad being quite gullible, I am of the belief that if any random lad were given this much personal care, they could accomplish just as much as Mr. Humphere. Those are my two cents, and I am looking forward to seeing what else we can accomplish.

Posted: Sat Aug 12, 2017 2:14 am

^Exactly. He's moved on from the dreary and drab world of mundane grifting to something greater.

Like Shorty, Turd, Eric and Franklin, Femmy, Dickiboi, Pigmoney, and others, Mr H is now the major character in an epic tale. Few indeed are as fortunate as this small band of which he is now part.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Everything about this bait can be summed up in one sentence

Also i know how inquisitive all this press can be, i hope the picture of the goat fucking me is not on news or news paper

There are times during this bait when I will open one of his emails and think "Did I really just read that?".

Are we done patting ourselves on the back now? Can we get back to work? I've got an election to win. Very Happy

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