Sister Mary *AUDIOBOOKS* *NSFW* SAFARI UPDATE

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Posted: Sun May 14, 2017 11:31 pm

Brilliant stuff - I suppose 'War & Peace' would be stretching things too far though Smile

Elite Baiter Joined: 17 Jun 2015 Posts: 1942

Just caught up with this bait-nice going. It looks like the lad is wasting a bunch of time with you instead of with real vics and that is a good result.

A quick suggestion, it may help to keep some notes on possible next steps in your bait. If the lad does this then my choices are 'A', 'B' and 'C'. Having someone unscrupulous steal the lads payment is a good suggestion that has been used effectively before to explain why the lads payment has vanished.

Keep up the good work.

Posted: Mon May 15, 2017 1:01 am

I continue to be very appreciative of everyone's support and advice!

I am very amused you are all waiting in anticipation of these books! Like my own little orphanage here that I'm trying to control! Smile

Still no audio but we are getting very close now!

He's upset the bank manager called him a thief.

Quote:

MADAM GLORY BE TO GOD THAT THE CANCELING WAS SUCCESSFUL AND THANK GOD FOR MISS CONNIE FOR BEEN THERE JUST ON TIME AND MAY GOD BLESS HER FOR THAT.I WONDER WHILE THIS BANK KEEP CALLING ME THIEF, TO BE HONEST IT MAKES ME MAD,HOW I WISH I COULD HAVE A CHANCE TO MEET WITH THE BANK WOMAN OR MANAGER I WILL JUST ASK HIM ONE QUESTION, WHICH WILL BE,WHILE ON EARTH WILL I STEAL FROM THE ORPHANS .BUT AM VERY HAPPY NOW, I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE STRESS AGAIN THOUGH AM SORRY FOR THE STRESS YOU WENT THROUGH...BUT THANK GOD AND GOD BLESS YOU AND MISS CONNIE AND THE WHOLE CHILDREN FOR TRUSTING ME..AND FOR THE READING I AM DOING MY BEST. AND MY PRAYER IS FOR YOU TO LIKE IT AT LAST BECAUSE OF THE DIFFERENT IN TUNGUS WHILE SPEAKING ENGLISH DEFERS FROM YOURS. BUT ABOVE ALL , FROM WHAT I HAVE SO FAR, IT IS GOOD,. WE KEEP WORKING ME AND THE STUDIO ENGINEER TILL WE ARE DONE.

All you fellow baiters keep begging for the books. Okay, Sister Mary asks about the timeline! (And since we've been lacking humor, she gets a little R-rated.)

Quote:

Oh thank you my mr hump here,

Yes it be quite stressful but we going to do just fine I think thank you very much indeed. I would not if i were you be too angry at the bank people as I think they just trying to do a good job and all. Like I say if it werent for that anthony stealing my monies last year this would be as easy as fellating a texas longhorn steer if you know what I am saying.

Oh the children all wait in anticipation of your books you are reading. I do not rush you and you take all the times you heavenly need to get these right but do you know how much longer it might be? Miss Connie say for all the running around you make her doing she should get two books but I tell her that seems too much to ask if I may say so.

So we wait here for you mr hump here. I do hope you still spending enough time with you beautiful wife giving her strawberry shortcakes and teabags and all during your vacation days.

I have little doubt he is seriously doing all this reading. He finds himself in a bit of a quandary as to how to send it all to me! And at the end finds himself in a moral dilemma at home.

I'm telling you guys, Sister Mary is changing this lad!

AND... HE STILL OFFERS TO READ MORE!!!! Shocked

Quote:

MADAM WITH THE WAY THINGS ARE GOING HERE IN THE STUDIO, FROM NOW TILL FRIDAY THE READING WILL BE COMPLETE THEN I WILL START THINKING ON HOW TO SEND THEM, BECAUSE EVEN I WILL SEND IT CHAPTER BY CHAPTER, AM NOT SURE IT CAN BE ATTACHABLE ON EMAIL BASE ON THE SIZE. BUT SHOULD IN CASE IT CAN NOT BE ATTACHED I WILL OPEN ONLINE DOWNLOAD AND PUT THEM THERE AND I WILL SEND YOU THE LINK TO CLICK AND DOWNLOAD ALL ONE AFTER THE OTHER.FOR MISS CONNIE TELL HER AM REALLY SORRY FOR THE STRESS THAT I HAVE CAUSED HER.AND ALSO IF SHE STILL HAVE OTHER BOOKS HAT SHE WANT ME TO READ , SHE SHOULD LET ME KNOW SO THAT I WILL DO IT ALL WITH TIME THAT I HAVE IN THE STUDIO, BECAUSE I TOLD YOU THAT I SIGNED AND AGREEMENT WITH THE STUDIO ENGINEER TO USE AS MANY TIME THAT I NEED AND TO PAY HIM IMMEDIATELY YOU PAY ME FOR THE READING. SO I HAVE ENOUGH TIME .ALSO AM PLANING TO OPEN A BUSINESS THAT WILL GIVE ME CHANCE TO SPEND MORE TIME WITH MY FAMILY SO I WILL NEED ANY MONEY THAT I CAN LAY MY HANDS ON .AND THE ONLY WAY TO DO THAT IS BY WORKING HEARD.SO IF SHE NEEDS MORE, AM READY FOR IT.MADAM DO YOU KNOW THAT BEFORE MY VACATION,MY SON ASK ME ONE MORNING DADDY WHY IS IT THAT YOU DONT LIKE STAYING HOME WITH HIM AND MOMMY, AND I WAS VERY ASHAMED OF MYSELF.AND I PROMISE HIM THAT I WILL CHANGE.SO FROM NOW TILL FRIDAY THE READING WILL BE DONE AND READY TO BE SEND TO YOU.THANK YOU AND GOD BLESS YOU

Kind of curious what his new business venture is. Sister Mary will have to ask.

Next time...

419Eater is my life Joined: 11 Sep 2015 Posts: 335

Great work so far and i'm looking forward to see where this leads Very Happy

Posted: Mon May 15, 2017 10:40 am

If you want to be really cruel, give him some Patrick White. He'd never recover.

Posted: Mon May 15, 2017 8:30 pm

Page counts are from Amazon. By my count he's already read:

Pinocchio: 184 pages;
Lady Chatterly's Lover: 360 pages;
A Midsummer Night's Dream: 96 pages;
Fifty Shades of Grey: 576 pages.

That will have taken nearly two weeks. Can I squeeze another 300 pages from him? Will he extend his time at the studio? Hmm...

I thought of asking him to go hard core - 120 Days of Sodom - but that's probably pushing it. I've come this far, and I want my books! I don't want to tip my hand after all this.

Sister Mary inquires into his new business venture and whether he's going back to scamming, er, work.

Quote:

Oh my good mr hump here,

I not feeling too well but I rather talk to you than Miss Connie she very frustrated and all. It very nice for you to offer to read more. I try to see what may be next on the list but might there be any books you are interested in mr hump here? Perhaps ones you can record for your own child? Else I can ask Miss Connie what she might like but sweet heavens is she in a mood at the moment.

You say you going to start you own business and I think that wonderful! Hopefully tis be an orphanage but I wonders what business you may be starting if I dare may ask mr hump here? Maybe you beautiful wife open a beauty shop that would be nice I think.

Also you mentionable a new session is about to commence at you old job with you old boss who sometime you like and sometime you do not like. Might they be having another giveaways with the monies I did not receive and would you be so kind as to enter my orphans in the drawings and such? If that not what the session is than please forgive me for my forwardness please indeed mr hump here.

Anyways to-day is a day of rest for me mr hump here after a funlike weekend with the children and all. I too tired out and weak today so Miss Connie doing all she can. The ferry service to the mainland finally start up again so she may go there for a little whiles when I am strong enough again but not before.

Eliot here right now and he wave hello and look forward to hearing you book voice!

And now, the following email removes all my guilt!!! Unfortunately Sister Mary was unable to convert the lad. He's going back to scamming.

Quote:

MADAM I FILL HAPPY EACH TIME I SEE YOUR EMAIL, AM SORRY TO KNOW THAT YOUR NOT FEELING WELL, BUT DO NOT WORRY BECAUSE MY BIBLE TELLS US THAT OUR BODY IS THE TEMPLE OF GOD WHICH MEANS THAT SICKNESS DOES NOT HAVE A POTION ON IT [what?],I WILL PUT YOU IN PRAYERS AND AM SURE THAT IN A WHILE, YOU WILL BE ALRIGHT OK.FOR THE BUSINESS THAT AM PLANING TO OPEN, ME AND MY WIFE WE ARE HAVE A VERY BIG CHALLENGE THERE, BECAUSE WE DO NOT WANT TO MAKE MISTAKE, OR WILL YOU BE KIND ENOUGH TO SUGGEST SOMETHING? FOR THE NEXT SESSION OF OUR GAME, YOU DON'T NEED TO ENTER FOR IT, EMAILS ARE BEEN SELECTED AUTOMATICALLY. SO NO ONE KNOWS WHO IS SELECTED AND THE PEOPLE TO WIN. AND FOR THE READINGS, I DO NOT KNOW THE ONE THAT SUITS YOU WITH THE CHILDREN, SO I PREFER IT TO BE SUGGESTED BY YOU OR MISS CONNIE.NOW ON THE PROGRESS OF THE READING , AS YOU KNOW WE ARE ON THE LAST BOOK ON THE LINE WHICH IS FIFTY SHADES OF GRAY AND RIGHT NOW WE ARE ON THE CHAPTER ELEVEN OUT OF 26 CHAPTERS AND BY THE GRACE OF GOD WILL BE DONE SOON. AND I WILL LET YOU KNOW ONCE WE ARE DONE. SO IF YOU OR MISS CONNIE HAVE ANOTHER SUGGESTION ON ANOTHER BOOK, FEEL FREE TO EMAIL IT TO ME. I WILL BE LOOKING FORWARD TO HEAR FROM YOU MAY ALMIGHTY GOD KEEP AND PROTECT YOU AND THE CHILDREN OK AND TELL ELLIOT THAT I SAID HI

So the new "Game" begins soon. So I will bait him until the end, wherever that may take us.

Like I said, I want to keep my final book request tame as to not lose him after coming this far. So apologies to all the baiters who wanted me to go for blood!

He asked Sister Mary for business advice. She'll do her best. For some reason the last paragraph has become one of my favorite ones. Like I said, I just type this stuff out and hit send. Then I reread and think, where did that come from?

Quote:

Oh my dear mr hump here,

I think it wonderful what you do for my orphans. It not too important but if you have free moment I think it would be nice to see a picture of you in the studio to show to the childrens and all. I think that would be just dandy. If you no have time that okay too i understand fully.

I not too good at business ideas. Obvious I like my orphanage and you can do one of those easy and they always in demand but it is not like it easy to make monies from that. Here on Beaver Isle we have a lot of farms and such you could always do farming of corn or wheat and all that i suppose. Miss Connie say maybe you be an uber driver though I not know what that is at all but it sound like fun with meeting new people and such mr hump here.

If you lack good ideas on books my kind sir the orphans always like books about orphans so you can do Oliver Twist which is at http://www.planetebook.com/ebooks/Oliver-Twist.pdf or Miss Connie say Romeo and Juliet always very good let me serach for it oh here it be at http://www.pubwire.com/DownloadDocs/PDFiles/SHAKESPR/TRAGEDY/RMEOJLET.PDF.

But you make sure you kiss you beautiful wife all over do not forget because she has you been gone all this time and no i don't want at all for her to be upset at me no sir! We look forward to you readings!

If he does come through with 5 entire audiobooks, I may ask for volunteers to help organize and post this stuff depending on how he manages to get it to me.

More to come!

Posted: Wed May 17, 2017 12:54 am

First, thank you to whomever got me the Eater membership. I am sincerely appreciative and will pay it forward in the future.

Nothing too exciting going on. Just a short update as I have two very full days at work coming up and probably won't get the chance to.

Mr Humphere's wife is helping out at the studio. And I asked for a picture, but he runs into a conundrum if he sends one since it is him in the trophy of the "accountant."

Quote:

MADAM I MUST SAY THAT YOU ARE SO KIND, BUT MY WIFE IS NOT BORDERED AT ALL IN FACT THIS MORNING SHE BROUGHT FOOD FOR ME IN THE STUDIO.YOU NEED TO SEE HOW SHE SMILED AT YOU FOR THE KISS AND SHE SAID OH, THIS WOMAN IS SUCH A KIND PERSON.AND FOR THE PICTURE I AM NOT TOO SURE BECAUSE THE PIECE OF THE LAPTOP THAT I HAVE HERE WITH ME DOES NOT HAVE A WEBCAM ON IT, BUT IF I SEE AWAY OF TAKING THE PICTURE I WILL BE DELIGHTED TO DO SO.OH HOW IS YOUR BODY TODAY? I HOPE YOU HAVE FULLY RECOVERED ?

As I read it, my description of the island seems to have a Garrison Keillor "Lake Wobegon" feel to it. I might put Beaver Island on the vacation list this summer to see what it is really like.

I'm trying to set it up so Miss Connie disappears at the exact moment we need her most. So Sister Mary explains her upcoming trip to the mainland and the beginning of the shopping list they are trying to make. Eliot writes just for fun.

Quote:

Oh kind mr hump here,

You beautiful wife so nice to help out and all. It like you have you own Miss Connie for yourselves! I feel better today as it be a beautiful day but the man in the radio say it be stormin later on which is too bad. The lawn finally grow too high so I send Orphan Nelson out to mow it and he out there now doing a swift job i might say. Orphan Penelope just sit out there and admire him the whole time so i think something up between them. He notice her and he take his shirt off and she go all googly eyed and all. I may have to stop allowing them to room together i think lest they be more orphans.

The ferry service to the mainland start up again and Miss Connie say if all is well maybe next week or two she go over there for a week or so. She go over once or twice every season and get the things we don't have here on the island so she busy preparing a list. My only request is for her to go to the trader joe and get a case of the two buck chuck which would be nice don't you think?

Anyways it sure is peaceful here right now and I have no doubt you would enjoy it here with the blue sky and the boats in the harbor and the laughter of the children and the birds singing and winds in the trees and we think everything here be perfect and we would not change a thing right now it be so nice mr hump here.

Oh sweet jimenny here come Eliot and he want to type something.

HI MR HUMPP HEEREEE!!! DO YOU LIKEEE MY NEW TOY TRUCK? IT GREEEN LIKE SISTERSS EYEES!!! ELIOT

Inching painfully closer to getting my audio. He's almost done with Fifty Shades. I wonder what has him stressed out?

Quote:

MADAM I GOT YOUR EMAIL AND AM SO MUCH HAPPY WITH THE WHOLE LOVE AM GETTING FROM YOU AND THE CHILDREN. TO DAY WAS A LITTLE BIT STRESSFUL IN THE STUDIO BUT NOW WE ARE AT THE CHAPTER 20 BUT BY TOMORROW, WILL MIGHT BE ABLE TO FINISH IT OR BY NEXT MORNING

Quote:

Oh dear me hump here,

Yes tis always good to hear from ye as well indeed i must say. If you get a chance can you jus tell Orphan Eliot how nice his truck is. He was hoping you like it though it just a simple truck i don't know why he admires it so much he actually bring it into his bed with him now which is downright adorable don't you think?

I get to bed early tonight so you have a good readings in the morrow mr hump here.

So unless something unusual happens, hopefully my next update has the audio.

Posted: Fri May 19, 2017 3:11 pm

Almost there! I think he'll start sending the audio today, so here are the catch up emails to that point.

First he throws me for another loop and I began to doubt for a few hours whether the audio even existed. On the plus side, the lad is (apparently) coughing up more cash for the recordings. It is likely a ploy to ask for more money.

Quote:

MADAM SORRY FOR THE DELAY TO REPLY, IS HAS BEEN SO MUCH BUSY TODAY IN THE STUDIO WE HAD A SMALL PROBLEM IN THE STUDIO TODAY THE STUDIO ENGINEER RECEIVED A CALL THAT HIS BROTHER HAS BEEN INVOLVED IN AN ACCIDENT SO HE HAS TO TRAVEL TO THE NET CITY AFTER OURS TO THE HOSPITAL. SO I WAS VERY CONFUSE SO I HAVE TO START LOOKING FOR ANOTHER STUDIO ENGINEER TO RECORD ME FROM NOW.THE GOOD NEWS IS I FOUND ONE AND THE BAD NEWS IS I HAVE TO PAY HIM MUCH MONEY FOR HIM TO WORK BUT THANK GOD I AM STILL IN THE STUDIO RECORDING BUT BY THE SPECIAL GRACE OF GOD, BY THROUGH I WILL BE THROUGH WITH THE READING RECORDING THEN I WILL STILL KEEP YOU INFORMED. AND ALSO TELL MY FRIEND ELLIOT THAT HIS TRUCK IS AWESOME AND ALSO TELL THE WHOLE CHILDREN THAT I LOVE THEM AND WILL CONTINUE TO PRAY FOR THEM.

Long days at work IRL, so I had no time to respond. After two weeks of recording, only now does he ask about the money. Ladies and gentlemen, he's finished four books.

Quote:

MADAM HOW ARE YOU TODAY? AND I DO HOPE THAT EVERY BODY IS OK,JUST AS I TOLD YOU YESTERDAY AFTER THAT SMALL CHALLENGE THAT WE HAD , THAT BY TODAY THE WHOLE READING WILL BE COMPLETED , AS I AM WRITING TO YOU YOU, I HAVE BEEN BY GOD GRACE COMPLETED THE WHOLE READING BELOW ARE THE LIST OF THE ONCE THAT I RECORD

1 ADVENTURES OF PINOCCHIO
2 LADY CHATTERLEY'S LOVER
3 MIDSUMMER NIGHT DREAMS
4 FIFTY SHADES OF GRAY
I WILL WANT YOU TO UNDERSTAND THAT I WILL BE WILLING TO DO MORE ONCE I SEE THAT EVERYBODY KEPT TO HIS OWN PART OF THE DEAL PLEASE DO NOT MISUNDERSTAND ME. YOU I TRUST BUT I JUST DON'T TRUST YOUR BANK NOT AFTER THEIR LAST ATTITUDE TOWARDS ME THAT MAKE YOU LOOSE A LOT OF MONEY. NOW IF YOU CAN REMEMBER BEFORE I START THIS READING, YOU SAID YOU DO PAY BY PAGE AND ALSO THE ONE MISS CONNIE IS TO PAY,I WANT YOU TO CHECK IT ALL AND EMAIL ME THE CORRECT AMOUNT THAT IS TO BE PAID FOR THE FOUR BOOKS,SO THAT I WILL KNOW HOW AM GOING TO SETTLE THE STUDIO OWNER FOR HIS TIME AND ALSO THIS TIME AROUND ALSO MAKE SURE THAT BANK WILL NOT DELAY OR START MAKING DEMANDS THAT WILL PUT ME IN A VERY HARD POSITION AGAIN AND ONE MORE THING THE ACCOUNT NUMBER THAT YOU HAVE BEFORE IS OUR COMPANIES AND NOT MINE SO THIS TIME, I WILL GIVE YOU MY WIFE BROTHERS ACCOUNT NUMBER TO MAKE THE TRANSFER FOR THE PAYMENT OF THE BOOKS, I WILL START TO SEND THEM TO YOU CHAPTER BY CHAPTER ONCE I GOT A CONFIRMATION FROM YOU ON THE TOTAL MONEY FOR THE WHOLE FOUR BOOKS JUST AS YOU TOLD ME OK?GOD BLESS YOU AND THE WHOLE CHILDREN, AND HOW IS ELLIOT AND HIS TRUCK TODAY?

And 24 hours later he sends me a "I haven't heard from you" email that isn't worth posting.

So after a few days, I get a chance to respond. Hey, new characters!

Quote:

My dear mr hump here,

My apologies at it been realy busy here. Father Newton come from the mainland for the weekend unexpected. He the priest at Our Lady of Perpetual Motion on the mainland and he take the ferry across yesterday and he bring us a new orphan her name be Evangeline and she be but 4 years old and we introduce her to all the other orphans one after another. When she arrive she say oh thine is thee Sister Mary Margaret Katherine I hath heard of so I think she fit in just fine here.

Eliot say thank you for thinking his truck is awesome that be very nice for you to say so.

Forgive me mr hump here it is very busy here. I take note of the books you readed and Miss Connie will figure out how much we owe you for those and the next time I email you I will know what the numbers of the monies may indeed be.

I haven't told him the dollar amount so I'm not too sure he'll send the audio until then. But he may trust me enough that he will anyway. I kind of want to see.

Posted: Fri May 19, 2017 11:14 pm

This continues to absolutely fascinate me.

Quote:

THANK YOU SO MUCH MADAM I WAS WORRIED IF EVERY BODY WAS OK BECAUSE OF YOUR SILENT BUT NOW I AM FILLED WITH JOY. AND I WILL WAIT FOR YOUR EMAIL SO THAT I WILL START TO EMAIL THE RECORDS TO YOU. AND THE NEW GIRL IS SHE BEAUTIFUL?

OK, so I need to name a price before he sends it. So I send what may be my favorite of all the emails I've sent.

I am now most certainly going to hell after writing the following... (If you're easily offended you should have stopped a few pages ago.)

Quote:

Oh wonderful mr hump here,

You needent worry about us I dare say we do quite well here. Orphan Evangeline is very beautiful and fit in very nice with the younger childrens thank you so much for asking. We not sure if she been baptised or not so the dear Father will perform that tomorrow lest she get to heaven somedays such and St Paul at thine pearly gates not knowest who she is.

Father Newton from Our Lady of Perpetual Motion be here for the weekend which is a nice help. He see Miss Connie outside and say why heaven help me but I wishest my fatherly orbs be in perpetual motion amongst that lass out yonder. I know not what he means as I don't speak Latin but he call Miss Connie into his weekend chambers and listening in they must be practicing yodeling or something.

So afterward I call Miss Connie over to do the math. She say a lot of it depend on the quality of the recording but usually around $5 per page for firsttimers like yourselves. She say pinocchio is 184 pages and Chatterly be 360 pages and Midsummer be 96 pages and Fifty Shades be 576 pages. So that be 1216 pages plus she say she thrown in $2000 for Fifty shades plus 30% for reading the entire books and a 5% ticketmaster fee and 3.75% historical preservation fee and you total would be at a minimum $9055.97 and maybe more if the quality is better than good and that all up to the childrens and Miss Connie and not me.

Now typically most readers then donate somewheres between 20 and 40 percent to the orphans college funds and it can be to the orphans in general or someone specific if you want. It be completely optional but almost everyone does so you let me know if you want to do that and how much and who it may go to and then i send you the rest of the monies after Miss Connie review the recordings and such.

Oh jolly good then it be time for dinners and with Father Newton here I must cook to impress though it seems Miss Connie already in the kitchen with him so it beist time to gather and wash the childrens.

Will he donate 20% to the orphans?

Does he have a heart?

Has Sister Mary had an effect on him?

Quote:

MADAM THANK YOU FOR YOUR QUICK RESPONSE HOW I WISH I AM AROUND TO EAT THE FOOD YOU AND MISS CONNIE IS COOKING AM JUST ASSUMING HOW SWEET AND DELICIOUS IT WILL BE,YOU KNOW I AM SO USE TO EATING AFRICAN FOOD ,NOW FOR YOUR EMAIL EVEN IF EVERY BODY IS NOT GIVEN SOMETHING,IT IS A MANDATORY FOR ME BECAUSE I BELONG THERE TOO,AND FOR WHOSE BEHALF AM GIVEN IT TO, LET IT GOES TO ALL BUT SHOULD IN CASE IT MUST GO TO SOMEONE, IN THAT CASE , I WILL GIVE IT UP TO MY FRIEND ELLIOT BECAUSE HE HAS BEEN THERE FROM THE BEGINNING FOR ME ,SO I WILL ASK YOU TO TAKE 20 PERCENT OUT AS YOU SUGGESTED AND LET ME KNOW WHAT THE REMAINING BALANCE WILL BE.SO ALL THE REST OF THE EMAIL YOU WILL SEE WILL BE THE RECORDING. AND IF THERE IS ANYTHING YOU OR MISS CONNIE THINK THAT SHOULD BE CORRECTED,FEEL FREE TO LET ME KNOW SO THAT I WILL DO IT BUT I DO HOPE IS OK. I WILL BE LOOKING FORWARD FOR YOUR RESPONSE.

Well who would have guessed that?

Quote:

Oh my dear mr hump here,

I was in the middle of cooking and Orphan Eliot say you email me and I glad I check it now. You be so kind and polite and I cannot indeed wait to tell Orphan Eliot about your generosity. I will give a little to the general fund but I be sure most go to Orphan Eliot on your behalf. Miss Connie do the quick math and she say you will get at least $7245 but it may be higher if the quality of the recordings are such that we can pay higher.

I fear I do not think we have had African foods here but perhaps mr hump here you cold send recipes that maybe you beautiful wife make and I have Miss Connie make them here and it be like we dining together!

Oh this so wonderful we cannot wait to hear you wonderful voice!

I anxiously await his next email... Supposedly, the books are on the way!

Posted: Fri May 19, 2017 11:43 pm

AND THE AUDIO BOOKS ARE ROLLING IN!!!

OMG THEY ARE OUTSTANDING! I'M IN TEARS!

I will post ASAP!

Posted: Sat May 20, 2017 12:19 am

This is going to take away from my great posts above so don't miss those!

Since I have no intention of listening to all these, please let me know if there are issues!

I have to admit these exceeded my wildest dreams. I'm almost tempted to pay for them as they are that good!

Total Audio Time: 42:33:57

Lady Chatterley: 15:44:54 total
(online text found here)
Chapter 1 29:03
Chapter 2 23:42
Chapter 3 33:27
Chapter 4 32:27 Best part starts at 29:45 - S***!!! he can pronounce perfectly.
Chapter 5 47:03
Chapter 6 41:56
Chapter 7 48:43
Chapter 8 36:42
Chapter 9 45:53
Chapter 10 2:01:33
Chapter 11 59:44
Chapter 12 41:08 Go to 20:00
Chapter 13 51:43
Chapter 14 55:01
Chapter 15 49:57
Chapter 16 1:06:57
Chapter 17 1:07:20
Chapter 18 47:20
Chapter 19 45:15

Pinocchio 4:58:57 total
(online text found here)
Chapter 1 5:52
Chapter 2 5:27
Chapter 3 8:47
Chapter 4 4:59
Chapter 5 5:10
Chapter 6 3:40
Chapter 7 6:09
Chapter 8 4:45
Chapter 9 5:29
Chapter 10 5:41
Chapter 11 6:44
Chapter 12 8:59
Chapter 13 7:22
Chapter 14 7:29
Chapter 15 5:43
Chapter 16 7:32
Chapter 17 8:20
Chapter 18 9:45
Chapter 19 7:40
Chapter 20 5:53
Chapter 21 5:09
Chapter 22 6:28
Chapter 23 9:34
Chapter 24 10:56
Chapter 25 5:37
Chapter 26 5:03
Chapter 27 10:53
Chapter 28 9:20
Chapter 29 12:28
Chapter 30 8:26
Chapter 31 11:36
Chapter 32 10:28
Chapter 33 15:10
Chapter 34 13:35
Chapter 35 11:43
Chapter 36 21:05

Fifty Shades of Grey, set to the music of Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart
19:29:58 total.
Text is copywritten so no link, sorry.
Chapter 1 39:14
Chapter 2 41:22
Chapter 3 41:32
Chapter 4 42:07
Chapter 5 37:02
Chapter 6 44:16
Chapter 7 25:24
Chapter 8 41:09 Priceless...
Chapter 9 48:26 The 29:40 mark is outstanding! 32:30 for the money shot. And 42:30 to the end. You're welcome.
Chapter 10 49:10
Chapter 11 40:03 Go to 19:30 for a rundown of all potential activities.
Chapter 12 46:20
Chapter 13 51:44
Chapter 14 42:56 OMG!!! The first 3 minutes are priceless!
Chapter 15 41:41 Go to 12:00!
Chapter 16 45:02
Chapter 17 45:35
Chapter 18 and 19 1:20:26
Chapter 20 48:27
Chapter 21 45:24
Chapter 22 51:46
Chapter 23 57:14
Chapter 24 59:27
Chapter 25 56:46
Chapter 26 47:25

A Midsummer Nights Dream, set to Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata
(Entire text here)
Entire Book 2:20:07 He uses voice altering software for the different characters! What effort!
I told him I didn't care for the voice altering, so he sent me an unaltered version. This guy can do anything!
Entire Book, unaltered 2:20:08

As an aside, he is sending his files via a web service which reveals the IP address of the sender as 197.211.60.37. Lagos.

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Sep 2013 Posts: 2210

Soooo good! clapping

Posted: Sat May 20, 2017 3:27 am

Hallelujah! Laughing

Well done, a great trophy! clapping

Posted: Sat May 20, 2017 4:08 am

Quote:

MADAM I JUST FINISH SENDING THE LADY CHATTERLEYS LOVER TO YOU THROUGH MY *** ACCOUNT TO YOU, BEFORE I ATTACHED FROM CHAPTER 1 TO 9 I LATER FIND OUT THAT THEY LOOSE QUALITY BECAUSE I COMPRESS THEM SO MUCH IN ORDER FOR IT TO BE POSSIBLE TO SEND, BUT WHEN I FOUND OUT THAT THEY ARE LOOSING QUALITY , I HAVE TO STOP AND NOW USE MY MAILBIGFILE ACCOUNT TO SEND IT TO YOU ........SO DO NOT USE THE ONCE THAT I ATTACH BECAUSE THEY LOST A LITTLE QUALITY, THE ONE THAT YOU WILL USE IS THE ONCE THAT I SEND THROUGH MY SENDBIG FILE AND MY SENDTHIS FILE ACCOUNT.. LET ME REST SMALL THEN I WILL CONTINUE SENDING FROM WERE I STOP, BECAUSE IT IS TAKING TIME BEFORE ONE CHAPTER WILL AGREE TO BE SEND. BUT MRS CHATTERLEYS LOVER IS COMPLETLY SEND TO YOU NOW.YOU CAN ASK MISS CONNIE TO HELP YOU AND DOWNLOAD THEM .

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Mar 2015 Posts: 1916

Speechless! They are so good. I first found an unabridged version of Lady Chatterley in a packing box in my mother's garage many, many long years ago, when I was 13. In those days that version was banned in this country. Laughing

I now realise how much that book influenced my thinking on a lot of matters. Laughing

Of course, if you wanted to nitpick, Hump here fails to pronounce words such as 'viscount ' and 'heir' correctly and, at least in Chap 2 there is some banging and crashing in the background, but he is doing a wonderful job.

I just love this and the fact that he wants to donate to Orphan Elliot, which leads one to suspect that he really was an orphan himself, as he related.

I agree, the quality, which includes not only his good reading style, but also the background music, does lead one to be tempted to pay him for the work. Smile

Posted: Sat May 20, 2017 1:07 pm

Yes, I noticed a lot of mispronunciations as well but they are just so good I can't possibly nitpick on them. He's willing to read more but I can't possibly think he'll do more without receiving payment first. Then again, we've come this far...

I know he's a scammer but my thinking is he's a good guy that got sucked into the wrong crowd at some point. I'll admit I do feel a little guilty because he really has been so nice to me, but in the end it's just audio. And if I saved an innocent victim or two from losing a few thousand bucks in the meantime, even better.

He says he is going back to his old job (scamming) next week and what I wouldn't give to get hold of that email so that Sister Mary, unlikely as it possibly could be, would win again!!! I'd love to see him weasel out of that.

My only thought on the rest of this bait is to drag out payment as long as I possibly can. Miss Connie's affair with the priest will take her to the mainland for a while, and let's face it, Sister Mary is getting up there in years and her mind and health are starting to fade. (I do have a 2 week vacation coming up I'll have to explain away somehow.)

I feel like I struck gold with my first one. I've tried at least 25 other baits during this one that have all led nowhere.

The lad emailed me to say he's having trouble uploading everything and it may be a while. I'm patient.

Quote:

Oh my dear mr hump here,

I have received all you emails and I put Miss Connie on this right away. I cannot wait for her to be done so we can hear you beautiful voice and all!

I Hope you enjoy your weekend indeed mr hump here. Must you go back to the car place again with the other boss? I hope you like you work there it seem very interesting and all.

Miss Connie say she know what she is doing and we await the other books as well!

Posted: Sat May 20, 2017 1:16 pm

The audio is incredible. Truly outstanding work getting your lad to record so much for you! This must have wasted a ton of his time. Very Happy

Posted: Sat May 20, 2017 1:50 pm

I am on a road trip and listening to these as I drive has been a pkeasure. World class baiting!

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Mar 2015 Posts: 1916

^ World class baiting, indeed!!

Posted: Sat May 20, 2017 3:16 pm

Outstanding, Ld'a. Outstanding!

Cool

Posted: Sat May 20, 2017 3:36 pm

Lake D' Amour, I am in tears laughing. Great job!

419Eater is my life Joined: 11 Sep 2015 Posts: 335

Omg, this is fantastic work Lake ' amour! I have a long drive to work everyday and i will enjoy every minute of this incredible job! Laughing

Posted: Sat May 20, 2017 3:51 pm

Quote:

MADAM HAPPY TO HEAR FROM YOU, HOW WAS YESTERDAY WITH THE GOOD FATHER? FOR MY WORK I MIGHT GO BACK BUT IF EVERYTHING WORKS OUT WELL AS I PLANE, I WILL START A BUSINESS OF MY OWN SO THAT I CAN BE THERE FOR MY FAMILY I HAVE BEEN AWAY FOR SO LONG FROM THEM AND IT IS NOT GOOD..THE NEXT RECORDING THAT AM SENDING IS ADVENTURES PINOCHIO...

So he might go back to scamming, but if he gets this money, he won't? Hmmph...

He says he sent all of Pinocchio but I only have the chapters listed. I'm sure he got lost between uploading and sending me links and whatnot. I'll get it eventually. The music is outstanding.

He's got to take a break to attend to "something important." He really does seem genuinely concerned about the dear Sister.

Quote:

MADAM I JUST FINISH SENDING THE ADVENTURES OF PINOCCHIO I WILL CONTINUE TO SEND THE REST IN SHORT TIME I HAVE SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO ATTEND TO NOW.. AND PLEASE I DO HOPE THAT YOU HAVE CHANGE YOUR EMAIL PASSWORD?. I HOPE IS IT SECURED AND SAFE NOW? PLEASE I WANT TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE NOT DONE IT PLEASE BASE ON MY EXPERIENCE AFTER THE ATTORNEY STOLE FROM YOU.PLEASE CHANGE IT OK AND PLEASE BEFORE YOU DO IT, COPY MY EMAIL ADDRESS OUT ON A PAPPER SO THAT YOU CAN ALWAYS CONTACT ME SHOULD INCASE ANYTHING HAPPENS TO YOUR EMAIL OK? I LOOK FORWARD TO YOUR REPLY

Posted: Sat May 20, 2017 4:01 pm

Here lies Zagreus,
Dead from exploding guts.
Found with glaring smile, wearing earphones.

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Mar 2015 Posts: 1916

You may be right about him and his history, Lake, but what can one do? I helped someone out over here a long time ago - off they went to do their business start-up, but they were back within a year with nothing to show for it and wanting some more help. Soooo - not always a good idea, even if it's someone you know. Very Happy

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