Sister Mary *AUDIOBOOKS* *NSFW* SAFARI UPDATE

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Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Quote:

Mr. Humphere

I believe I owe you an apology. When I first read you email I thought YOU were the one confessing to killing a prostitute and inflicting bodily harm on a delivery driver. It was my wife who pointed out to me that it was the criminal Feathers who did these foul deeds and attempted to blame you. Sir, my apologies.
I cannot believe all the trouble you are having receiving your package. GPSe prides itself on Five Star Customer Service. They have won many awards for their service. Mr. Humphere, if I was you I would think about bringing charges against GPSe. I of course could not be your lawyer, as I am a prosecuting attorney and not a civil lawyer, but if you decide to sue them I can recommend a good civil lawyer.

Mr. Humphere, did that magazine person get in touch with you? He sounded very anxious to talk to you when he contacted my office. So are you a professional model now? What magazine will you be appearing in and when does it come out?

VOTE PENFOLD!

Posted: Wed Aug 30, 2017 1:25 pm

Louis contacts the lad about setting up the modeling contract:

Quote:

My name is Louis Sedgewick, and I am Joe Bob's trustee assistance. He gave me your contact information so we could discuss your modeling contract and take care of all the details. Is this the best email address to reach you at?

I have to say I am very exited that you have agreed to pose for our magazine! We are all great admirers of your work here. Your scene with the goat? Absolutely inspired! And you were so brave to show it in a court room too! In these intolerant times when so many ignorant people call our beautiful love deviance or perverse, it is wonderful to see someone taking a bold public stand and declaring to the world: "this is who I am, you must except my love!" I can't wait to see what you will do next, but whatever it is, I just know our readers will love it!

Anyways, before we do the photo shoot, we just have to take care of some simple paper work. I hope that won't be a problem. Please let me know if you are ready to begin and I will send the contract forms rite over. I am looking forward to working with you!

Let's see what he says to that. If he starts balking at the idea, I'll start dangling more money.

Posted: Wed Aug 30, 2017 1:52 pm

Good work all..
Wish I had additional time available.. to bate.
Wait, did that sound bad?
Not to worry..
One of my "Characters" is a ordained priest.
Father Heywood Jablowme stationed here in Hollywierd, CA.
Working for the homeless along Main and Central.
Always ready to lend a helping hand..
Needs outlets for his charity funds..
Looking to spread his largess over seas..

Posted: Wed Aug 30, 2017 10:10 pm

Still nothing from him. He's either twigged, in jail, or dead. I will take either of the last two. Hopefully he resurfaces soon.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Nothing for me either. Here's hoping he got nabbed trying to cross the border and will eventually show up with a tale of woe.

Posted: Wed Aug 30, 2017 11:23 pm

Nothing here. Jenna might send an email just to make it look like she's concerned. (But she's not.)

I'm sure he will have an outstanding story. Meanwhile, it might finally be time to send out some emails to potential new audio book readers. I've been 100% dedicated to Hump. Five months of Humping and baiting... Fascinating!

Posted: Wed Aug 30, 2017 11:29 pm

Jayhawk and Lake, if you ever need my services for a bait, let me know. This was an awesome experience, and I would love to do it again. I have a few people lined up for my food distribution company, so I may need some help too.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

I really do think he had some legal problems trying to cross the border and that is why we have not heard from him. He is too invested in this fantasy to twig on us.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 02 Dec 2013 Posts: 59

I log on each day just to read the adventures of the Handsome Mr. hump here with the beautiful voice.

Great baiting all.

Posted: Thu Aug 31, 2017 2:44 am

Thank you for the kind feedback!

Posted: Thu Aug 31, 2017 3:04 am

Yes, thank you to everyone for the compliments. I haven't been able to acknowledge all of them but trust me that everyone's encouragement these last months meant a lot to me. As a reminder, this was indeed my first bait and I've updated the very first post of this thread with links to all the important parts along the way. Even I haven't watched all the videos yet.

I am almost certain there will be more to come!

Posted: Thu Aug 31, 2017 5:51 am

Fantastic bait! Congratulations to all! clapping

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Mar 2015 Posts: 1916

Wonderful bait, everyone concerned. As your first bait, Lake, this was truly a work of art. May all your baits do well, with much lad pain and fun for you.

Who knows, the Humphere may yet be back. As Jayhawk says, it could just be a troublesome border crossing and perhaps he really doesn't have enough money left to pay bribes.

Very Happy

Posted: Thu Aug 31, 2017 6:20 am

Wow, 44 pages of brilliant baiting! clapping

And as others said, he might come back. Who knows, months from now he might try his luck again.

Posted: Thu Aug 31, 2017 12:41 pm

Well, he's... Somewhere...

To Sister this morning:

Quote:

Thank you madam so far , there is no good news but i strongly believe god will make a way for me were there seems to be no way, i am happy to know you care about me.thank you

I'm sure there's a story here. We'll get it eventually.

ETA And to Jenna:

Quote:

Am sorry for the late reply. i had a delay on the road while coming back. but i am here now. how are you?

Vague but there's a story here. Jenna will try...

Quote:

Ah Mr. Nyash,

You've been absent without my permission you naughty boy. I was wondering where you were? Found a good looking Nigerian girl or three I hope.

Just starting work but I have meetings all day so I can't be to chatty. Penfold is giving yet another boring speech about budgets and taxes and whatever. And the Inspector gives press conferences every morning but all he does is stare at my tits. Perv. I like it.

Any word on your work with Penfold for governor? It's been a slow news week so far.

Posted: Thu Aug 31, 2017 1:13 pm

Here is specifically what happened. To Mike:

Quote:

Thank you sir, i am alive just that i was detained for 5 hours in Cameroon border while traveling back, but i am back now to my country Nigeria

Mike will give him instructions/details later. I wish he was detained for longer than five hours, but I will take it. Next up, a safari in Nigeria, although we will probably have to wait a few weeks.
Edit: Here's why:
To Justin:

Quote:

i was detain because of yellow card bro i dont want to sue anybody , if this pacgae is real , you people should help me and cancel it send me another one through dhl to nigeria or do bank transfer for me, why is this hard

I'm not sure how everyone wants to proceed from here. I will stay quiet to him for now, unless he wants to learn more about the Snorkys.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Michigan law requires that the package be sent via GPSe. When Penfold gets elected the first thing he will do is change that. Five star customer service my ass. For now there is no other option

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Sep 2013 Posts: 2210

He finally gets back to Susan:

Quote:

Thank you Susan thank you for the email and i will explain everything to you,susan let me start by saying that about me that i kill prostitute and took your van and hurt Wolfgang is lies , if you think i am lying you can contact the sender of my parcel. the people that took your van and hurt your agent is the criminal feathers that was convicted for murder in beavers island , he want after my parcel because i am a witness to his case so he was trying to get back at me. first they lied to Moses that i have gone back to nigeria and have instructed them to get my parcel , i won wolfgang not go give my parcel to any body, now wolfgag refuse because i dont know how much they promise him, now when to took him and they email me that they will kill wolfgang if he does not give them the code to your safty box in the van, so in order for me to buy wolfgang more time and to distract them because they said they will put the van on fire, i told those criminals that my parcel is not in the van that i collected my parcel two days ago and i also told them that they can kill wolfgan if they like because he does not mean anything to me. remember i told them that just for me to buy time for wolfgang Rolling Eyes

so that police or Moses can rescue him. now they went and told moses that i am the one that hurt wolfgang,you can ask the sender of my parcel who (feathers real name fallatio) is he will tell you all, that name is the one responsible to what happened to your van and wolfgang.
Susan i got frustrated in Cameroon so i beg people to assist me go back to Nigeria.
madam i am back to nigeria now and also have it in mind that i will never travel outside my country again to pick THIS PARCEL

PLEASE USE DHL OR UPS TO SEND IT TO ME IN NIGERIA
I WAIT FOR YOUR RESPONSE
Thank you

Sounds like he enjoyed his trip. I'm pretty sure he's telling the truth about never traveling outside of Nigeria again. I think Kano is a good option though. Still a long way, but no border crossing. Should be a piece of cake for him. GPS doesn't usually deliver to Nigeria, but I think considering the situation we can send a driver to meet him there. He's been through a lot already, and we want to make things easy for him after all.

Posted: Thu Aug 31, 2017 9:36 pm

I tell him that unfortunately he will have to use the GPS service again:

Quote:

Unfortunately, the state of Michigan is legally required to use GPS ******. Penfold swears he will change this policy when he becomes governor. We can try to arrange to have a different driver personally deliver the package to you in Nigeria though. My $100 is safe, I hope. Where in Nigeria would you want to receive the package?

I'm guessing he will say Owerri, but he may have to settle for Abuja or Kano.

Posted: Thu Aug 31, 2017 9:51 pm

Quote:

i got frustrated in Cameroon

Classic

Posted: Thu Aug 31, 2017 10:21 pm

He suggests Lagos:

Quote:

Bro thank you for your support. let it be in Lagos Nigeria. let me know more on how it is going to be done
thank you

Don't thank me yet. Since I just sent him an email from Mike's account, I will wait for a bit before responding. There's no way an agent would ever possibly want to meet him in Lagos, especially considering that's where Mr. Bingo is. All of the agents are probably traumatized after the loss of one of their good friends. It has to be Kano or Maiduguri.
Edit: Maybe not:

Quote:

Bro i can not and will not travel aside Nigeria to get this parcel again not while am alive, and if this parcel can not be send to lagos which is the heart of nigeria, i will not go to Kano, Abuja, and Maiduguri because there are a lot of fight going on over there, so i insist on lagos. i have seen hell becaue of this parcel and if it can not be send to lagos that means the parcel is not for me because lagos is more safe and secure for me

I'm sure we can still have a lot of fun in Lagos though. Any city with over eight million people has to have a lot of places to get lost in.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

He is really anxious for the modeling job. Three emails

Quote:

Sir am sorry to reply you late,my email address has been compromised, so i have to open this new one now and i don't think it is safe for you to email me on that email any more. also be low you will see every conversation me and you had just for you to be sure it is me your dealing with also( I AM READY FOR YOUR CONTRACT SO SEND THEM TO ME FOR ME TO LOOK INTO IT AND SIGN ONCE AM OK WITH ALL I SEE IN THERE)
SO I WILL BE WAITING FOR YOUR REPLY

Folowed ten minutes later by the same email but including all of our conversations. Then, four hours later

Quote:

DID YOU GET MY EMAIL?

Do you think he is rather excited about the ten grand modeling opportunity?

And to Penfold

Quote:

Thank you sir for your understanding.the magazine man contacted me but we are still working to come to an agreement and i will update you once we are through.
I don't want to press any charges on the GPS ****
all i want is to know sir, can you help me and cancel that check and send me another one with 9DHL COURIER COMPANY TO NIGERIA? OR DO BANK TRANSFER FOR ME? SIR YOUR MY LAST HOPE AND THE ONLY ONE THAT CAN HELP ME.I HOPE THE CAMPAIGN IS GOING WELL? I WISH YOU SUCCESS
THANK YOU

Quote:

Mr Humphere

I a glad to receive your email and to know that you are safe. In regards to your email I am afraid it is not possible to cancel your check and to issue you another one using a different delivery service. Right now the state of Michigan is bound by law to use GPS****. Based upon your experience I promise to make it a top priority to engage a different delivery service once I am elected. Frankly, I am surprised you are having these problems. GPS**** prides itself on five star customer service. The only thing I can do is ask Donny to ask Governor Snyder to make an exception in this case. Do you want me to do that?

VOTE PENFOLD!

Do you think he is getting tired of hearing the phrase FIVE STAR CUSTOMER SERVICE?

I can only imagine how disappointed he was arriving home empty handed. He left Nigeria with dreams of a hundred grand and instead he came back broke and broken. That thought makes me feel all warm and tingly.

I knew he wasn't gone. He has far too much invested in this to twig. The concept of "Sunk Cost" is foreign to him. I think we still have a ways to go with him. Now it is up to Big X and the contract. Very Happy

edited to mask his name

Posted: Thu Aug 31, 2017 11:20 pm

He asked kind of a tough question, and I gave him a weird and confusing answer:

Quote:

Why is mr penfold name not on the list of governorship candidate in your state on internate? i saw every name but i cant fine penfold, what does that mean?

My response:

Quote:

We haven't had all of the paperwork processed yet, so we are getting our name out there, but we are not technically running yet. We plan to announce once we get some more campaign videos ready and everything. Donald Trump already supports us privately, but we want to come in like a hurricane and take the world by storm. We would love it if you could come support us in Michigan when we announce, but that probably won't happen. Since we are still a potential candidate, they haven't added us yet. I'm looking on Wikipedia, and that is probably why. We are going to stay quiet, and then jump out like a great white shark eating people in an inner tube.

I doubt he will try to press the matter, so this should keep him placated. At this point my main concern is that he finds this thread. His main problem is finding a way to get the package, so I don't think he will worry about this minor confusion. If he wants to pick up in Lagos, I am sure we can find a way to make that fun for him. He keeps giving the Okezie name in Owerri. Maybe his wife's brother lives there and is planning to pick up the spy money there. If he is in Lagos right now, that would make sense.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

^^ Great explanation. If he presses you on it be sure and mention that there are so many people that have declared right now that Penfold wants to stand out from all the rest.

Penfold's email has confused him

Quote:

I dont understand what you ment by to make an exception in this case

It's always the lad's fault

Quote:

I mean I can see if Donny can use his influence to allow a different delivery company to be used due to all the problems you are having. Mr. Humphere, once again I must remind you that this is all your fault. I told you that the criminal Feathers has supernatural powers and might even be channeling Satan himself but you ignored me. I also told you that he cast a curse on you and you needed to contact Sister to ward yourself but you ignored me. Do you think that maybe, just maybe, if you had followed my advice from the beginning you would have your money and would not be having these problems? I think so.

VOTE PENFOLD!

I think we are safe on him finding this thread. If you google Penfold you have to look long and hard to find this thread. Same if you google Feathers or Mutley. When using the names be sure and ** part of it to avoid google searches. Or don't use the full name. There are millions of Joe Bobs in the state of Texas alone, but I doubt there are very many Joe Bob F*instens.

I once had a lad (Stanley) on the line for months. He was directed to the thread on Eater by a dickhead on another board. You would have thought he was a goner, but we convinced him that Penfold was working against him and he stayed around. We even set up another board where the Snorkys supposedly had their discussions and gave him the logon info of a "captured" Snorky. That drug the bait out for a couple more months.

He really does not like Sister

Quote:

sir i lost all i have , but i still have Jesus and since i have him, i have everything, and i am a child of god and nobody or Satan have the right to curse me, i am bless and any tongue that will rise against me shall be condemn , sir if at the end of the day i did not get this money , i will still give glory to god at this point i have left everything in the hands of god because he is the only person that knows the truth and the lies behind all this , if you find it in your heart to help me, glory be to god but if decide not to help me because of sis goldmoon, glory be to god too but i am not given up since i am still alive, and my dreams shall all come to pass either with this check or not. you are a good person , so if you can do it for me thanks be to god but if you cant, my life will continue because my future is bright with this check or not,i have seen hell because of this case and check, i think i should start rebuilding my life back now and face what so ever that comes my way. thank you for all you have done to me but loking around me, i can see any good effect of what ever you did, all i see is lost and damages. thank you so much and god bless you and your family. i am not curse i am bless, dont forget that. and also i have been searching for your name on the internate for the list of governorship candidate of your state, i just saw every name but yours is missing, i dont know what that means.

Posted: Fri Sep 01, 2017 12:06 am

Really well done! You can taste how much he loves all this!

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