Archie Fails to Join the Church of the Old Gods

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Posted: Thu Mar 09, 2017 4:17 am

Hilts is pleased by Archie's optimism, but tells him to focus on the Church:

Quote:

Good shit, dude. Remember, scamming the church is where we're gonna make the big score, specially long term. So getting that pastor to like you and trust you and make you a member is the most impotent thing. Even more then getting that idiot Roger to pay. Cause even though Roger is rich, with that $26 million USD he's got at my bank, he's a goddam beggar compared to the church. Their fucking loaded, I'm telling you. So you gotta do whatever the pastor asks you to do, so you can get in his good grace.

Long term, I'm hoping those church fools will give you access to the church bank accounts, and that's when we can drain them and really make some cash. Make it happen, dude.

Archie still likes it:

Quote:

Mr Hilts, we are on right track. As soon as the Pastor gives Mr Roger approval to invest I will let you know. (This may take a while)

Good luck to us.

Hilts asks the lad for an update on the Church membership:

Quote:

Any updates dude? I haven't heard anything from the old fool about you in a while. How's it going with those church idiots?

The lad is waiting on Pastor Moses:

Quote:

Hey man, I haven't heard from the Pastor since on Monday. He said in his last mail that I will send the membership form to me.

I am still waiting.

And we'll keep him waiting a while yet. Twisted Evil

The lad has a dream for the Church:

Quote:

I am so happy that I will be a member of old God church in no distance time.

I have believe that the gospel of the old God's will be spread across Africa and be televise in the television and cable networks. I am so optimistic. (We'll soon fix that)

Pastor Moses said he will send me the membership form soon next.

Have a great day

Roger is impressed by his vision and ambition:

Quote:

Wow, truly you have a tremendous vision for the future of our Church in Africa! I must say I am very impressionable about your ideas. I hope to someday see Pastor Moses breaching the Gospel of the Old Gods on TV all across Africa and in other countries too. Maybe some day you will be a Reverend Father too and become an inspiration for all our members as you breach on TV! Wouldn't that be amazing?

But I guess every journey must start at the beginning, cause that is a very good place to start. Before you become a grate and famous Reverend breaching in Africa, you must become a member and our Brother in the Church. Have you completed the application form that Pastor Moses gave you yet?

Of course, Moses hasn't given him anything.

The lad is still patiently waiting:

Quote:

Yes, every journey has a start. I believe that with the necessary mentoring from Pastor Moses, Africa will be fertile land for the growth of church of the old Gods.

I am yet to receive the membership form from Pastor Moses. He promised to send it soon.

Best regards.

We have him eager to start his own torment in earnest. Is there anything better than a compliant lad?

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Sep 2013 Posts: 2210

Quote:

Thank you Pastor for this great privilege, I am very grateful.

I will be waiting for the membership form.

Thank you.

Quote:

Hello Pastor, how are you doing?

Am yet to receive the membership form from you.

Have a blessed day.

Moses can't find the forms:

Quote:

Yes my son,

I have been looking for them but for the life of me I cannot seem to find the proper forms in my file cabinet where I normally keep them. I generally keep them in the very top drawer to the right side of my computer. I am certain that is where they are kept but I am not able to find them anywhere.

I am going to have to ask my secretary Susan if she can help locate them for me. Perhaps we have run out of forms, in which case she will need to find the originals and have them run on the copyer machine, then I will try to scan them on the computer and send them too you. I am not so good with all these new electronics, but Susan is much younger than me (in her late 60's) and seems to have a much better understanding of how to scan forms and things such as that.

I will be speaking with Susan tomorrow and will get you the proper forms as soon as I can.

Pastor Moses

Hopefully young Susan will be able to help find them...

Posted: Thu Mar 09, 2017 9:52 am

"but Susan is much younger than me (in her late 60's) and seems to have a much better understanding of how to scan forms and things such as that. "

Muhahahaha! Laughing

Posted: Fri Mar 10, 2017 12:29 am

Hilts tells the lad to be patient:

Quote:

Not since Monday, eh? I don't know what's taking him so goddam long, but I'm not surprised the dumb bastard is this slow. I guess you just gotta wait until he sends the membership form and than fill it out quick. Keep your eyes on the prize, dude.

The lad assures Hilts he will stay on it:

Quote:

Sure I will.

The Pastor mailed me today that he couldn't find the membership form where he kept it. He said he will tell his secretary to help produce a new form.

I also reminded the pastor that he should tell Roger to go ahead with the investment in the gold so as to avoid delay. (not a chance)

Stay positive!

Roger is surprised that Pastor Moses hasn't sent the form yet:

Quote:

I am surprised that Pastor Moses has not sent you the membership form yet. This is very much unlike him, cause he is usually very organized and over the top of things like this. If you like, I can call him and ask what is going on?

I just want to make sure you get your membership as soon as possible so we can continue our gold mining operation business.

The lad tells him what happened:

Quote:

Pastor Moses sent mail some hours ago. He said he will direct his secretary to print a new membership form that he will scan to me.

He said he couldn't find the ones he kept on his table. I hope he comes with it soon.

You can call to know what's is wrong. Also ask him if you can go ahead with the investment, time is a precious resource.
I believe we are one family now.
Once Pastor Moses send the membership form I will fill it appropriately and send it back to him.

Roger will ask, but I think we all know what the answer will be. Laughing

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Sep 2013 Posts: 2210

Quote:

Alright Pastor, I will be waiting for it.

Like I told Mr Roger on Monday, I am personally developing strategies in which I will use to operate when I finally become a member of the church.
The social media (Internet) will be one of them, radio, local TV stations and cable networks etc. These will quicken the outreach of the church of the old Gods in Africa.

Meanwhile Pastor, in regards to the ongoing business dealings between Brother Roger and I, what is your opinion on it at this stage?
As you know time they say is money.

It's been a while will discuss about it, and we are in a critical stage, any further delay might not be good for such business.

May the old God protect you

It sounds like he wants to start setting up some Social Media stuff for the church. Maybe we should encourage that Big X? I love a lad that volunteers his time. Very Happy

Surprise, Susan is having troubles with the scanner...

Quote:

Hello my son!

I have some good news. Susan was able to find the forms. I had put them in the other file cabinet for some reason, where I keep our finance records for the church. I am very fortunate to have young Susan here to help me.

Unfortunately she is having difficulty with the scanner. She thinks that perhaps we are going to need to purchase a new one to make copies of the original forms. She is going to work on figuring it out this evening.

Now can you teach me more about this social media? My grandchildren are always talking about these things like Facebook and Twidler. They are also on something the call Instantgram. How do they work? Is there a way that we could use them to help spread the word of the Old Gods? Please tell me more.

Now about this business of the gold mine.

First, let me tell you a story about two of our bretheren in the Church. Dan and Betty are two of our oldest members in the Church. They are wonderful, Gods loving people. Well, last Christmas, they were contacted by two young men named Franklin and Eric from a place called Ganna, Africa. These young men said that they were operating an orphanage, and without the knowledge of myself or the Elders, Dan and Betty mailed a large parcel of computers and cash to these two young men.

After many months we discovered that these young men were heathen liars, whom were only pretending to run an orphanage to trick Dan and Betty! The electronics cost them over $60,000 and in the end we believe that these two men simply stole the money and never even gave any to the children at all!!!

You see my son, Dan and Betty had forgotten what the Elders have always advised.. that we should only do business and donating to fellow members of the Church of the Old Gods. These two heathens were wicked unbelievers of the faith. In fact we think it may be possible that they were even Muzlims and not even Christians like they said!

I have reminded Roger of this importance of doing business only with members of the faith. Surely you understand that saving your soul with the teachings of the Old Gods is more important than any simple business of the gold mine?

Thank Gods that you are truly interested in joining our faith! This means that you will be able to join the church. Then once you have become a full member I can instruct Roger to put his complete trust in you as a fellow member. Perhaps even the Church could do some investments into your gold mine?

I will check with Susan this evening about those forms and try to get you started on Stage 1 of the initiation as soon as possible.

Pastor Moses

It looks like he's going to have to complete his membership before he collects any cash from Roger.

Posted: Sat Mar 11, 2017 2:55 am

I love that Eric and Franklin's legacy lives on. Laughing

Posted: Sat Mar 11, 2017 4:54 am

I have no problem with it if the lad wants to waste more of his time by starting a Facebook group. Nothing better than an ambitious lad. Very Happy

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 05 Jan 2017 Posts: 790

It's makes the heart jump to see such a willing convert

Posted: Sat Mar 11, 2017 2:35 pm

I think I know where he could find some followers...

Posted: Mon Mar 13, 2017 10:07 pm

Hilts tells Archie that he will probably have to join the Church first:

Quote:

Ok dude, that's good thinking. If the pastor tells the old fool to go ahead with the gold mine bullshit, he totally will. And that way we can make some small money off Roger while your working your way into the church for the big score.

I have a feeling he might say no, though. These old gods fuckers are pretty goddam serious about their religion, and they don't usually do business with out siders. I think that idiot Roger only banks with me because he knows I'm so fucking good. Plus, I butter ball him, make him feel good when he comes into my bank. Trust me, that goes a long way with these simple minded morons.

Archie tells Hilts that the Pastor said no:

Quote:

The Pastor insisted that I become a member of the church before he tells Roger to go ahead with the payment.

Let's be patience till I complete the membership initiation. Once that is done every other becomes easy. (or so he thinks)

But my worry now is that I don't know if the church is a secret society. That wouldn't be nice for me at all. But if it is, I'm done for whatever, no turning back. (that's the spirit!)

I believe the pastor will send me the membership form any time this week.

Hilts is disappointed, but reassuring:

Quote:

Damn, I was hoping the pastor would let the old fool send the money without you being a member. Too bad. But it sounds like you gotta good handle on becoming a member, so it shouldn't take long. Do whatever you gotta do to get that membership, it's the most impotent thing.

What's this bullshit about a secret society? What the fuck are you talking about? No way dude, it's just a church. A really rich church full of idiots with too much money who believe in nonsense, but still just a church. You got nothing to worry about.

I have no idea why he's talking about secret societies, but it makes me wonder if I could turn this into a crossover bait with some of my Illuminati lads. Maybe sometime in the future... Very Happy

Meanwhile, Roger is pleased to hear that Susan is on the job:

Quote:

Oh ok, so he will have young Susan print a new form? That is very good! I will call him to make sure she is doing her job properly and you get the form soon, cause I don't want their to be any more delays. I'm hoping the Elders will approve you and your membership will go threw very quickly so we can continue our business.

I wonder how long we can keep him waiting for the forms.

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Sep 2013 Posts: 2210

Quote:

Good day Pastor, I am happy that your secretary has found the form. I hope to get it any moment from now.

Yes, it is true that we can use the social media to spread gospel of the Old Gods.
Social media has its own disadvantages too. We need to be very careful to avoid scandal.
When we start operating the church here in Africa we shall carefully create a social media platforms where we teach the people the ways of old Gods.

I feel sorry for your members that fell victim of those unbelievers. It's always good to listen and consult elders before venturing into business and taken important decision.
It is good that Mr Roger learn from their mistake.

My relationship with Mr Roger, you and the church will bring more confident in business dealings and trusting me with your money.

Pastor, can you please tell me in summary the ways and system of serving the old Gods?
It's always good to have fore knowledge of my new spiritual believe, as I prepare for the first stage of initiation.

A couple days pass...

Quote:

Hello Pastor, I haven't heard from you for days now. I hope all is well?

Pastor Moses finally gets back to him:

Quote:

Hello my son,

We are all so exited to have you start on your Path of Enlightenment as you learn about the glory of the Old Gods! This journey, if you give it everything you have inside, will be the most important thing you do in your life my son.

I want to speak to the Elders about having you help us establish some of these Social Medias to help spread the word of the Old Gods. The Elders will know what to do. They are most wise. Perhaps you will be able to help us with the Facebook socal media to help recruit more youngsters into our Church?

Speaking of youngsters, I asked Susan to scan the forms and send them too you. I gave her your email address. I think she sent them to you yesterday. Did you receive them from her as an atarchment in an emale? (hint: he didn't Very Happy

)

Pastor Moses

Posted: Thu Mar 16, 2017 2:52 am

Archie complains that he hasn't gotten the form from Moses yet:

Quote:

Dear Roger, I'm yet to receive the membership form from Pastor Moses. I hope he sends it soon.

Once I get registered and initiated into the Church we can now proceed on our business.

Roger says he will try to speed things up:

Quote:

Oh, I don't know what could be taking Pastor Moses so long! Young Susan should of been able to find the forms by now, surely? I will give him a call today and find out what is going on. I just don't want any more delays in your getting your membership.

I will also prey to Saint Marry to guild you and protect you as you go threw the precess to become a member. It never hurts you know. Preying is never waisted, cause the Old Gods hear them all.

Archie wants the Pastor to hurry up:

Quote:

Please call him to know what's is keeping him from sending the form. I last heard from him last Saturday.

I hope he's fine.

He sounds like he's getting frustrated with our incompetence. Very Happy

Posted: Thu Mar 16, 2017 7:16 am

Hihi, nice! clapping

Archie seems angry, but patient. Full of respect! Laughing

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Sep 2013 Posts: 2210

Quote:

Hello Pastors, it's good to hear from you again after 5days Very Happy

. I haven't received any attachments from Susan, I thought you been sending it.

It will be a great advantage to the church if the church will create a social media platforms where the teachings and believe of the old Gods will be known to the people of the world, especially the younger generations.

Like I said earlier Pastor, the website and Facebook platforms that the church will create should be secured to avoid mischief makers and hackers. As you know there is crime everywhere.

In other to have a safe and secure website and Facebook, there is a need to install Internet security. This is may be strange to you, but this is the best we can do to avoid infiltration. (I wonder if he's working a side-hustle here, trying to get the church to buy "security" for their Facebook page?)

Meanwhile, I will be waiting for the form Susan to send the form and also the decision of the elders.

Thank you

Moses is surprised to hear that he hasn't gotten an email from young Susan yet:

Quote:

Good day my son,

That is very strange that Susan did not send you the forms as I asked her to do. Perhaps I wrote your emale address down incorrectly when I gave it to her? No matter, I will have a talk with her first thing in the morning and we will get this all sorted out. We wouldn't want to delay your membership any longer. I know Roger is most exited for you to start on your Journey of Enlightenment!

I think I understand about these mischief makers and harkers you speak of. Like the ones that tricked Dan and Betty out of their money, correct? Do you think they would also try to sabotage our facebook and socal medias? How would you recommend the church protect its socal media websites from these wicked harkers? We are so lucky that you know so much about these things so that you can help us protect the Church from these wicked bad mischiefers!

Pastor Moses

Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2017 11:38 am

Roger is not pleased by the delays either:

Quote:

Like you asked, I called Pastor Moses today, and he said their is no delay, because he already directed young Susan to scan the forms, than send them to you. He said she should of sent them to you a couple days ago. Did you not received them?

If you still have not received them, I will look to see if I can send you a scanned copy of the form my self, cause I don't want to waist any more time waiting for the form, and I want to get to our business as soon as possible! You know I am not very good with technicalities, but maybe Brother Eric can help me scan it.

I'm deliberately making Roger identify with the lad here, so he thinks I am on his side, and doesn't suspect that I am really trying to slow things down.

In any case, Mr L, I think we've made him wait long enough.

Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2017 11:47 am

I think you've made us wait long enough. Much longer and I'll fill out the forms for Archie.

Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2017 2:38 pm

^ Ok Bware, we'll send the forms right over to you, just as soon as young Susan scans them. Razz

Posted: Fri Mar 17, 2017 2:47 pm

Received and completed.

www.imgur.com/a/G6rU8

Carry on!

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Sep 2013 Posts: 2210

Quote:

Dear Pastor, I'm still waiting for the membership form.

I have an interesting news for you, a read in the news today that a Pastor from west Africa region found 706 karat diamond. As you can see Pastor, Africa is richly blessed with precious gems ( gold & diamond). I don't want more delay on these processes my membership and my business dealings with Mr Roger. Time is so precious in business also in our lives, we can't get time back once it has been spent.

Please tell Susan to send the form so that I can start my spiritual exercise.

I have already making personal research on where to locate the church by the time I fully become a member and been given the necessary information and resources that is needed to start a church here in Africa.

I'm so confident that the church of old Gods will grow faster than we ever imagined.

As regards to the social media platforms, I will advise you let me discuss to an expert in the line. I'm very sure that he will help us create a secure Facebook and website that hackers and mischief makers can't infiltrate.

Thank you

Success! Moses found the forms!

Quote:

Hello my son,

First let me apologies for the slowness in getting you started in this process. As I had expected, I accidentally wrote your emale down incorrectly when I gave it to Susan, so really it was my fault for the delay. I am sorry for this. I know you are most exited to get started!

Please see the attarchment to this emale. You will find 9 questions that are part of Stage 1: Questions & Visual Interpretations from the Holy Bible & Testament of the Old Gods.

As you have explaned to me that you were previously of the Christian faith, I believe that you will find some of these questions very easy as they are found within the Holy Bible which you are already very familiar with. However, some of the questions are based from within the Testament of the Old Gods, a sacred text which you have not yet beheld.

Because you will not yet be familiar with some of these texts, the purpose of this exercise is for you to dwell on the interpretations of these events. Nearly all convorts in the past have experienced dreams that have helped them to fill out the questions. Do not feel the need to rush yourself! I know that you are exited about becoming a member, but this is one of the most exiting times of your life. Take your time and enjoy the experience.

For example, one of our most recent convorts was having a very difficult time visualizing the battle between Lathiathan and the 3-headed serpent. Then he took a short nap and woke in a cold sweat. The Old Gods had brought the visualization to him in his dreams!!

We are all so exited to see what you come up with. Please take your time. Include as much detail as you can. Your answers will be submitted to the Elders, and the Elders always like to see an eager convort!

Pastor Moses

The Visual Interpretation questions are attached. I'm excited to see what kind of visions the Old Gods bring to him in his dreams Very Happy

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 05 Jan 2017 Posts: 790

Excellent work !!! love it

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Sep 2013 Posts: 2210

Quote:

Good day Pastor, I have received the form. Wow its different from what I expected.

I will kindly answer the questions and send them to you when I'm done. I pray that the old Gods help me to answer them correctly.

Thank You

Posted: Mon Mar 20, 2017 9:56 pm

Hilts checks in with the lad to see if there is any update:

Quote:

Hey dude, just checking in. Any update on working the church? Is that idiot Roger gonna be sending money soon? I don't wanna be caught with my pants down if the dumb bastard comes in to send the cash. Let me know what's good.

Archie complains that the forms are tougher than he expected:

Quote:

Hey Hilts, this shit is getting harder than I thought.

The Pastor sent the membership form on Saturday, he called it stage 1.

The form is like examination questions, 10 solid questions that requires me writing an essay.

I'm on it though, I am answering the questions little by little.

The pastor won't allow Roger to send money until I complete the membership process.

I want you to be patience till I complete the process. (I definitely have no problem with it if the lad wants to slow the bait down even further for us)
I will surely alert you when Roger will come to you, so he won't get you unaware.

Hilts is sympathetic, but tells him to get a move on:

Quote:

That sucks dude. I didn't know their membership form was that goddam intense. But remember, you gotta get it up good with the pastor and the elders so you can drain the church accounts, so do whatever you gotta do.

Oh well, I'm sure you'll get through this shit eventually. And besides, if a giant fucking moron like Roger could fill this form and become a member, I'm sure a smart guy like you will have no problems. I'll sit tight for now, but just try to do it as soon as you can because we can't wait forever.

If you run into any trouble with the church or the old fool, let me know and I may be able to help you from my end, so keep me updated.

Hilts will continue to urge the lad to do whatever the Church asks for. His influence may come in useful later in the bait if the lad starts to balk at some of our more ridiculous requests.

Archie told Roger that he received the form from Pastor Moses. Roger is pleased:

Quote:

Oh great, that is excellent! I was worried that Pastor Moses was never going to send you the form. I am glad to hear you have it now and your working on it. Please let me know if you have any questions or anything I can help you with. I want to make sure you get fully involved in the Church.

Yes, I want him so involved in the Church that he has no time for any of his other scams.

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Sep 2013 Posts: 2210

Quote:

The form is like examination questions, 10 solid questions that requires me writing an essay.

Ummm, they also require him to draw pictures. Hopefully he screws it up so we can make him redo them. Very Happy

Posted: Tue Mar 21, 2017 7:59 am

"And besides, if a giant fucking moron like Roger could fill this form and become a member, I'm sure a smart guy like you will have no problems. I'll sit tight for now, but just try to do it as soon as you can because we can't wait forever."

A very very good phrase! I'm delighted! clapping

419Eater is my life Joined: 28 Jun 2013 Posts: 274

Sadly, it seems that Archie is losing his enthusiasm for joining this church. I'm hoping someone is prodding him.

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