Lad so stubborn he never asks for cash!

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Posted: Mon Dec 05, 2016 8:16 pm

This got weird...the lad was so fixated in getting his percentage of my non-existent fund that he talked himself out of scamming me.

Confused

Nothing special but at least I'm an oil baron:

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ARE YOU ALIVE?

I write to inform you of suspicious moves to divert your funds in our
Bank to unknown destination by some people claiming to represent your
interest. They even claimed that you are dead hence the transfer to
the account. I have come to this conclusion as all documents
presented by them so far has no DEED OF ASSIGNMENT endorsed by you.

Therefore, I am suggesting to you to give me the mandate to move this
funds to a reputable Bank where it will be easy and convenient for you
to claim.

You should treat this email in confidence and urgency and get back to me.

Thanks,

Philip Ixxxxx (masked for google)

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I don't know what this is about

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Your email refers.

Happy to know that you are alive .

However,I wish to let you know that I am not among those wishing to divert your funds hence my timely notification to you. In this circumstance, you need to hasten up to claim this funds so as to frustrate their evil plans. All you need to do now is to cooperate with me by adhering to my advice and actions.

To further action on this, quickly send to me the following.
1) Your full name and current address,
2) Your current direct phone number.
3) Your Banking details and Bank address.
4) Occupation.
5) Date Of Birth
6) Your proof of identification so as to enable me commences a counter affidavit at the High Court and documentation/paper works on the funds transfer in your name and favor.

Your swift response is awaited. Feel free to call me anytime.
Regards,
Philip

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What fund? I don't know what you're talking about.

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Dear Christie,

The Fund is usd$20M and it was tagged in your name. Some criminals planned to divert the funds to unknown destination hence my timely notification to you. I have blocked the access code so that they will not have access to the funds anymore. In this circumstance, you need to hasten up to claim this funds so as to frustrate their evil plans. All you need to do now is to cooperate with me by adhering to my advice and actions. What I need from you is ONLY 30% of the total sum after confirming the funds in your account.

To further action on this, quickly send to me the following.
1) Your full name and current address,
2) Your current direct phone number.
3) Your Banking details and Bank address.
4) Occupation.
5) Date Of Birth
6) Your proof of identification so as to enable me commences a counter affidavit at the High Court and documentation/paper works on the funds transfer in your name and favor.

Your swift response is awaited. Feel free to call me anytime.
Regards,
Philip

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Are you sure? I don't anything about this

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(Bye bye script, enter lazy lad's minimal answers. We'll be fixing that.)

Very Very sure.
Lets proceed without delay.

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Where did the money come from? This is the first I've heard about it.

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The fund is in the Central Bank Of Nigeria-CBN.

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Nigeria? I've never been there.

That wasn't my question, where did it come from? Money doesn't just fall out of the sky

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It was an inheritance of a contract executed here.

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A contract for what? Sorry for all the questions but this is all a complete surprise and I want to be sure about this.

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Contract executed in the Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation -NNPC.

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Please furnish me with the requested information so that we can proceed without delay.

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My apologies but oil? Who executed it? All of my stock is in software.

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An American

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Why are you being so mysterious? That doesn't tell me anything.

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(Finally his frustration gets him to start paying attention, time to run him around a little.)

What do you meant by mysterious? What else do you want to hear fromn me. I will send you all documents as soon as we proceed and perfect the process.Note also that I must have to protect my job,youself and myself until we perfect everything.There is no time for too much question.What I am working towards is for a successful transaction.
Rergards,

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You never answered my question. I asked who executed the contract and you only told me what country he was from.

Why are you not telling me the whole truth?

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I am sorry if I did not answer you rightly.
Be inform that I do not have anything to hide but to tell you the truth. Why must I lie if I may ask?There is nothing to hide.
The name of the person is Engr. Ben S .Carling.
Regards,
Philip.

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Never heard of him, how did this all happen and how did we end up with all the money?

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(This reply took a while to craft, I bet. Good stuff.)

Please find additional information.The Late Engr. Ben S .Carling came to the United States Of America from United Kingdom for studies many years ago and eventually settle down to active work life with difference companies in Europe and finally ended up to work with the notable oil giant - Shell Petroleum Company as Chief Engineer (Exploration and Drilling) before resigning to start his own private business in the Oil and Gas sector where he operated as the Chairman/Chief Executive and as one of the foreign Contractor to Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation-NNPC till death after a protracted illness in the United Kingdom.He was aged 63, married but divorce without a child.

I hope I have made myself clear in this issue.

I advised you call me .

Regards,
Philip

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Never heard of him, too bad about dying that young.

So how exactly does this involve me exactly?

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Now that I have found you, let us work hand in hand to actualize this deal.I urge you to come forward since I can provide you with the details you will need to claim the funds and also work with you till the final remittance of the funds to the account you will nominate for us, at the end of this transaction the Twenty Million United States Dollars($20M) will now be shared between us as follows.40% for me and 60% for you.My colleague who is in the Legal department will do all the crucial part in the Bank to ensure that all legal procedures are followed as regards the claim and making sure the claim is released to you promptly with no time wasted.

To affirm your willingness and cooperation to this once in a life time opportunity please reply only to me urgently with your full names,current address and working phone number.

I do expect your prompt response.

Regards,
Philip

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(Time to release my inner curmudgeon. I must have hit a nerve because he completely loses track of the fees he hasn't asked me for to argue about the percentage he's going to get of the money that doesn't exist. Bizarre.)

Don't try to fuck around with an old man. I may be 93 but I still know how to read. When you first contacted me you wanted 30%, now you want 40? Trying to cheat me at the very start is not a good way to do business.

It seems to me that without me you get nothing, so you can have 10%. Don't try to steal from me again.

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Tell me sincerely how much you want to give me.

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I told you, 10%. That's for trying to steal from me.

That's still a lot of money for you so don't complain

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NO

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Then you get nothing since you can't do it without me. Is that what you really want?

That wouldn't make sense.

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Can Only accept 30%

(Of fake money? Say what?)

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Then why did you try to steal 40?

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Please if you wish we continue do let me know by sending the requested information.

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Does that mean that we have an agreement at 10%?

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10% not acceptable

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So you're willing to lose everything to be stubborn? Why?

I'm ready to get this moving so make up your mind.

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30%

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So you choose to get nothing.

Why would you do that?

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If you're not willing to be smart about this then pass this project on to someone who is. We should stop delaying, I'm not getting any younger.

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How about we split the difference

20%

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30%

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What the fuck?

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Please use your mouth well when addressing me. I can not more than 30%.If you agree send your details.

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What the hell does that mean?

20% or forget the whole thing

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No qualms. I will be fine.

(Which turns out to be his last message. Good thing he'll be fine and doesn't need the money that he hasn't asked me for yet.)

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I tried to pull him back in but nope...gone.)

Fine, have it your way, I still want the big money. What next?

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