Adventures with Lotto Lads 4 - Barclays?Heineken? Coca Cola!

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Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2016 2:28 pm

Okay, this one isn't a lottery win to begin with (originally an unclaimed inheritance format), but I soon turned it into one because, you know, I like lotto baits so much.

I wrote:

Dear Mr Matthew Bell,

I received your email (below) and I am very puzzled about the contents.

You see, I recently won a lottery from the Coca Cola company and I had been dealing with one of that company's agents (a Mr Jim Edward) in order to claim my prize winnings. There was an export certificate I had to pay for ($500) because the money was coming out of the USA and going into England (where I live), and I paid that and received the certificate, but then Mr Jim Edward stopped replying and his phone stopped going through. I was very disappointed because the winnings could have changed my life.

However, I then received your email (below) and I was curious about why this mentions inheritance funds and the like. You see, I am still waiting for my lottery winnings from the Coca Cola company, and I have no idea about any of the details you mention in your email (below). This is all very puzzling to me and I just want to know why my Coca Cola lottery winnings have not been sent out.

Please help me sort this out.

thanks,
RJ

Lad wrote:

FROM THE DESK OF MR. MATHEW BELL,
DIRECTOR OF EXCHANGE AND REMITTANCE
DEPARTMENT, BARCLAYS BANK PLC.
Private Banking Sectors.
WWW.barclaysbank.co.uk
Tel: +447049999999
Tel: +447049999999
Ref: Remittance of (£7,500,000.00 GBPS)

Attn: Beneficiary,

YOUR INHERITANCE PAYMENT OF £7,500,000.00 GBPS POUNDS.

Thank you for your response also wants you to know that, we at this bank wish to congratulate and inform you that your fund approval By the British government, IMF, and the Barclays Bank will make your fund transfer without any delay as soon as you do with our instructions. The only thing required from you is to RE-ACTIVATE your dormant account number with this bank to enable us credit your account directly by telegraphic Transfer or through any of our Banks and send copies of the Funds transfer release documents to you and your bank for confirmation.

Please re-confirm to me the followings:

(1). Full Name:
(2). Address: .........
(3). Telephone: .......
(4). Occupation: ......
(5). Age/Sex...
(6). Copy of Identity card.
You can as well send to us with your bank details.
(1). Bank Name...
(2). Bank Address: .........
(3). Bank Telephone: .......
(4). Your Account Name: ......
(5). Account Number...
(6). Swift Code................

As soon as we receive all the requested information we will commence your fund transfer into your nominated bank account. If you follow our directives, your funds will be transferred to your Bank account within one (1) bank working day from the day you send your information. You are required to call this Bank (+447049999999 or +447049999999) immediately you receive this Confidential Letter.

Thanks as i await hearing from you soon.
Congratulations in Advance!!!

Thanks,
Mr. Matthew Bell,
Area Director, Barclays Bank
United Kingdom.
Tel: +447049999999

Ugh. Just a scripted reply. Not acceptable!

I wrote:

Dear Mr Matthew Bell,

Thank you for your email response.

I have to ask if you read my original email very carefully? I asked some questions and in your reply today you appear to have not answered those questions at all nor even made any reference to the matters I am confused about.

Please review my original email and address my concerns. I have been a Barclays Bank customer for over 20 years and I have always expected a certain level of customer care in their behaviour. I am slightly dismayed that this level of care has apparently slipped as of lately.

thanks,
RJ

Lad wrote:

Attention Beneficiary,
I want you to forward to me every details about this this details so that we can investigate and also help you to recover this coca cola payment. make sure to include Mr Jim Edward, contact info and also all the emails he sent to you.

Yours Faithfully

Mr. Matthew Bell,
Area Director, Barclay's Bank United Kingdom.

(He repeats all the header stuff in all of his replies but I'll snip it here.)

I receive this email and have no idea what it relates to (at first). It's only later that I find out it's been sent from the same lad who's playing "Matthew Bell".

Lad wrote:

FedEx Nigeria Head Office
70 International Airport Road
Mafoluku, Lagos.
Tel:+234-8089999999

Customers Service Hours--Monday to Saturday:
Office Hours Monday to Sunday:

Attention': Rxxxxxxx Jxxxxxx,
Thanks for your mail, your shipment will commence first thing tomorrow morning,and it will take our company just only 44hrs to deliver your parcel to you in your doorstep, view The Attached copy of your ATM MASTER CARD and the MANUAL COPIES Below, you are instructed to pay the sum of $465.USD for the registration of your package to your home address in your country. Without the insurance fee we can not make any attempt to deliver to you because we can not take any risk.

Be advised to proceed immediately to any western union money transfer and transfer the sum of $465.USD only, so that we can register your parcel and email you the tracking numbers, before proceeding for the safety delivery of your ATM Master Card /package to your Address: , please make sure your house or office Number is indicated and also make sure your phone line is on, because the delivery Agent will call you and deliver it to your hand.

As soon as we receive the payment information here in our office, we will register your package and we will be sending you the tracking numbers to enable you track your package during the delivery process to your doorstep, which will only take us more 44hrs to have your package delivered to your doorstep, through the fastest means of delivery.

Note that, this company is a well known company all over the world, and we have confirmed your ATM Master Card real and authentic to be cashed in any ATM Machine center in any part of the world, with daily withdrawal. And we also open your parcel again for you to believe and view The Attached copy of your ATM MASTER CARD and the MANUAL COPIES.

Finally you are also advise to confirm to us with the below information when sending the fee sum $465 for the registration INSURANCE COMPANY.

Full Name________________
Address: _____________________
Home/Cell Phone: _________________
Nearest Airport_______________________

Below is the information you are to use when sending the fee $465 via Western Union Money Transfer or money gram to Peter.

Sender’s Name-----
Receivers name----PETER OKEZE
Receivers country----Lagos Nigeria.
Text question------------When?
Text answer--------------today
Amount ---------$465.USD
MTCN....................?

We shall proceed as soon as we receive the required payment information of the registration fee of $465.USD, to enable us register your parcel and email you the tracking numbers of your parcel.

Note that, FedEx is one of the world's great success stories, the start-up that revolutionized the delivery of packages and information. In the past 30 years, we' ve
grown up and grown into a diverse family of companies as FedEx that's bigger, stronger, better than ever. Waiting to read your e-mail or you can call me on +234-8089999999.

Yours affectionately.

Mr. Eric Johnson.
Head Of Operation FedEx Courier service,
For the Ikeja branch manager
FedEx express services Lagos -Nigeria

I wrote:

Dear Mr Matthew Bell,

Thank you for raeding my email and addressing the questions I have.

I will gather what informations I still have on my computer about this Mr Jim Edward and send them to you later today. Unfortunately, I don't have a lot left because in a fit of anger I deleted many of his emails but I suspect a few remain and they are the ones I will forward to you.

thank you,
RJ

I send an email from my Mr Jim Edward mail.com account that is a copy&paste of another lotto bait and change a few details to make it match the details I've given Matthew Bell so far. I then forward that email to the lad...

I wrote:

Dear Matthew Bell,

My apologies for not getting back to you sooner as I promised. I discovered I had deleted all of Mr Jim Edward's emails in my fit of anger but I asked my daughter if it is possible to recover any emails and she said she would give it a try. She managed to recover one email so that is what I am forwarding to you for your information.

I hope something can be done.

thanks,
RJ

I'm still confused about the "Eric Johnson from FedEx" email and haven't linked it to this lad yet so I write to him and ask what it's all about. (I have about half a dozen other lotto baits going on from that email account so it could be any of them.)

I wrote:

Dear Eric Johnson,

I received your email (below) but I am very confused about why it was sent to me. I am not aware of any Mastercard being issued in my name. I am, however, in the process of having a Visa Card being issued in my name and that is coming from being a winner of the Heineken online lottery, South Africa division.

This is all very confusing to me so please forward me any informations that might allow me to link this email to anyone I have been in contact with previously.

thanks,
RJ

I mention the Heineken lottery from South Africa because out of all the other lotto baits, that is the one I'm guessing this Eric Johnson is linked to.

Lad wrote:

Attention': Rxxxxxxx Jxxxxxxx,
Thanks for your mail i want you to know that your winning is coming from the Heineken online lottery which was supposed to come to you from south Africa, but the Heineken online lottery decided to make this direct to from Nigeria and not south Africa due to the international payout permit in Nigeria , your shipment will commence first thing tomorrow morning,and it will take our company just only 44hrs to deliver your parcel to you in your doorstep, you are instructed to pay the sum of $465.USD for the registration of your package to your home address in your country. Without the insurance fee we can not make any attempt to deliver to you because we can not take any risk.

Be advised to proceed immediately to any western union money transfer and transfer the sum of $465.USD only, so that we can register your parcel and email you the tracking numbers, before proceeding for the safety delivery of your ATM Master Card /package to your Address: , please make sure your house or office Number is indicated and also make sure your phone line is on, because the delivery Agent will call you and deliver it to your hand.

Finally you are also advise to confirm to us with the below information when sending the fee sum $465 for the registration INSURANCE COMPANY.

Full Name________________
Address: _____________________
Home/Cell Phone: _________________
Nearest Airport_______________________

Below is the information you are to use when sending the fee $465 via Western Union Money Transfer or money gram to Peter.

Sender’s Name-----
Receivers name----PETER OKEZE
Receivers country----Lagos Nigeria.
Text question------------When?
Text answer--------------today
Amount ---------$465.USD
MTCN....................?

We shall proceed as soon as we receive the required payment information of the registration fee of $465.USD, to enable us register your parcel and email you the tracking numbers of your parcel.

Note that, FedEx is one of the world's great success stories, the start-up that revolutionized the delivery of packages and information. In the past 30 years, we' ve
grown up and grown into a diverse family of companies as FedEx that's bigger, stronger, better than ever. Waiting to read your e-mail or you can call me on +234-809999999.

Yours affectionately.

Mr. Eric Johnson.
Head Of Operation FedEx Courier service,
For the Ikeja branch manager
FedEx express services Lagos -Nigeria

No, still not sure. But the way he writes about the Heineken lottery reference I made, I am thinking he's not from that one.

Lad wrote:

Attn: Beneficiary,

YOUR INHERITANCE PAYMENT OF £7,500,000.00 GBPS POUNDS.

Thank you for your response also wants you to know that, on our investigation it shows that the only fund you have
is coming from Nigeria Africa, this is coming to your door step through FedEx Delivery Office by one Mr. Eric Johnson,
the delivery manager. According to our investigation you were asked to pay fee of $465 before the can deliver it to you on your doorstep. I had called the IMF and the United Nation office they confirm is true, so i will advise you to pay this fund of $465 and make sure you inform this bank as soon as you receive it so that we can approve your £7,500,000.00 GBPS

Please re-confirm to me the followings:

(1). Full Name:
(2). Address: .........
(3). Telephone: .......
(4). Occupation: ......
(5). Age/Sex...
(6). Copy of Identity card.
You can as well send to us with your bank details.
(1). Bank Name...
(2). Bank Address: .........
(3). Bank Telephone: .......
(4). Your Account Name: ......
(5). Account Number...
(6). Swift Code................

As soon as we receive all the requested information we will commence your fund transfer into your nominated bank account. If you follow our directives, your funds will be transferred to your Bank account within one (1) bank working day from the day you send your information.

You are required to call this Bank (+447045720090 or +447042057999) immediately you receive this Confidential Letter.

Thanks as i await hearing from you soon.
Congratulations in Advance!!!

Thanks,
Mr. Matthew Bell,
Area Director, Barclays Bank

Ah! Confirmation from Matthew Bell that Eric Johnson belongs to him! That's nice of him to write and tell me.

I wrote:

Dear Mr Matthew Bell,

Thank you for looking over the email I forwarded from Mr Jim Edward.
I didn't understand what you are saying, however. I was dealing with Mr Jim Edward and my Coca Cola winnings for over two months before he disappeared and his telephone stopped going through for me. I paid him several fees to release my winnings but I have still not seen even the smallest amount of money come from this prize.
What is happening now? Why has Mr Jim Edward gone silent on me and why are you now dealing with my winnings? This sounds very confusing to me now and I just want a straight answer from someone who knows what he is talking about.

By the way, I also received an email from Mr Eric Johnson (no relation to me), and he is demanding some $465 GB Pounds from me for fees I have already paid to Mr Jim Edward's agents back in August. Why am I being charged again? I thought all of those insurance payments were dealt with and finished.

Please help.

thanks,
RJ

Yes, I realized I'd messed up by mentioning the Heineken lottery winnings and the Coca Cola lottery winnings, so I write a "I am confuse!" email...

I wrote:

Dear Matthew Bell,

My apologies for writing again so soon without waiting for your reply.

I would like to point out, also, that the email I got from Mr Eric Johnson (no relation to me) mentioned winnings from a "Heineken lottery". This is very strange to me as my winnings were from a Coca Cola lottery. This is all so very confusing.

Please help me clear this up.

thanks,
RJ

Lad wrote:

Attention': Rxxxxxxxx Jxxxxxxx,
Thanks for your mail i want you to know that you have only 24 hrs to claim your atm card after today we will return it to sender, and it will take our company just only 44hrs to deliver your parcel to you in your doorstep, you are instructed to pay the sum of $465.USD for the registration of your package to your home address in your country. Without the insurance fee we can not make any attempt to deliver to you because we can not take any risk.

Be advised to proceed immediately to any western union money transfer and transfer the sum of $465.USD only, so that we can register your parcel and email you the tracking numbers, before proceeding for the safety delivery of your ATM Master Card /package to your Address: , please make sure your house or office Number is indicated and also make sure your phone line is on, because the delivery Agent will call you and deliver it to your hand.

Finally you are also advise to confirm to us with the below information when sending the fee sum $465 for the registration INSURANCE COMPANY.

Full Name________________
Address: _____________________
Home/Cell Phone: _________________
Nearest Airport_______________________

Below is the information you are to use when sending the fee $465 via Western Union Money Transfer or money gram to Peter.

Sender’s Name-----
Receivers name----PETER OKEZE
Receivers country----Lagos Nigeria.
Text question------------When?
Text answer--------------today
Amount ---------$465.USD
MTCN....................?

We shall proceed as soon as we receive the required payment information of the registration fee of $465.USD, to enable us register your parcel and email you the tracking numbers of your parcel.

Note that, FedEx is one of the world's great success stories, the start-up that revolutionized the delivery of packages and information. In the past 30 years, we' ve
grown up and grown into a diverse family of companies as FedEx that's bigger, stronger, better than ever. Waiting to read your e-mail or you can call me on +234-8089999999.

Yours affectionately.

Mr. Eric Johnson.
Head Of Operation FedEx Courier service,
For the Ikeja branch manager
FedEx express services Lagos -Nigeria

More script. At least he's not bothered about the Heineken/Coca Cola mix-up.

I wrote:

Dear Eric Johnson,

Thank you for your informative email with lots of details and specifics for me to read and absorb.

Can you tell me how much the insurance fee is in GB pounds? We don't use dollars here ever since we won our independence, so I need the price in a figure I can relate to.

thanks,
RJ

One of my usual delaying tactics.

While reading over Matthew Bell's emails again, I notice something...

I wrote:

Dear Matthew Bell,

I have been communicating with Mr Eric Johnson (no relation to me) for a little while and then, for some random reason, I decided to read your last email again. I have copied it below for your reference. I noticed that you said that I would be receving my winnings by FedEx and that is why I have been asked to contact Mr Eric Johnson (no relation to me). But in your email below you ALSO ask me for my bank account so the winnings can be transferred electronically into my bank account.

Which is the method you are using?

I am very confuse.

thanks,
RJ

Lad wrote:

Attention': Rxxxxxxxx Jxxxxxxx,

Thanks for your mail, to convert $465.USD to pounds is £359 GBP.

Be advised to proceed immediately to any western union money transfer and transfer the sum of £359 GBP only, so that we can register your parcel and email you the tracking numbers, before proceeding for the safety delivery of your ATM Master Card /package to your Address: , please make sure your house or office Number is indicated and also make sure your phone line is on, because the delivery Agent will call you and deliver it to your hand.

Finally you are also advise to confirm to us with the below information when sending the fee sum £359 GBP for the registration INSURANCE COMPANY.

Full Name________________
Address: _____________________
Home/Cell Phone: _________________
Nearest Airport_______________________

Below is the information you are to use when sending the fee £359 GBP via Western Union Money Transfer or money gram to Peter.

Sender’s Name-----
Receivers name----PETER OKEZE
Receivers country----Lagos Nigeria.
Text question------------When?
Text answer--------------today
Amount ---------£359 GBP
MTCN....................?

We shall proceed as soon as we receive the required payment information of the registration fee of £359 GBP, to enable us register your parcel and email you the tracking numbers of your parcel.

Note that, FedEx is one of the world's great success stories, the start-up that revolutionized the delivery of packages and information. In the past 30 years, we' ve
grown up and grown into a diverse family of companies as FedEx that's bigger, stronger, better than ever. Waiting to read your e-mail or you can call me on +234-8089999999.

Yours affectionately.

Mr. Eric Johnson.
Head Of Operation FedEx Courier service,
For the Ikeja branch manager
FedEx express services Lagos -Nigeria

I like that he decided to spend time going through his script and changing all the $ values to the equivalent £ values.

I wrote:

Dear Eric,

Thank you for your interesting email full of specific details for me to follow. I noted the contents well.

I do have an issue, however, and it is that Mr Matthew Bell sent me an email telling me to contact you to get my winnings mailed to me. In that same email he also asked for my bank account so that my winnings can be transferred bank-to-bank. I'm not sure which method is going to be used.
I have already sent Mr Matthew an email outlining this problem and I am awaiting his reply.

regards,
RJ

Lad wrote:

Attention': Rxxxxxxxx Jxxxxxxx,
Thanks for your mail, i just called Mr. Matthew, and he said that i should deliver your ATM MASTER CARD to you as soon as you make this payment for the insurance.

(He repeats all the payment information as has been seen a hundred times already, so I'm snipping it out now.)

I wrote:

Dear Mr Johnson,

I received your email and read its contents well.

I don't understand how Mr Matthew can simply demand that I receive my winnings through an ATM card when he has offered me the choice of that or a bank-to-bank transfer and I haven't yet chosen which one I would like.

I will wait for Mr Matthew's response to my email and I suggest you put my delivery on hold until this matter is sorted out.

thank you,
RJ

Lad wrote:

Attention': Rxxxxxxxx Jxxxxxxx,
Thanks for your mail, i just called Mr. Matthew, i told him you want your fund to be transfer into your bank account and he said that he will transfer your fund into your bank account as soon as you make payment and send him your bank details. so when are you making this payment? so that i will inform him for immediate transfer of your fund.

A payment to a FedEx manager for a bank-to-bank transfer? What madness!

I wrote:

Dear Eric Johnson,

I know it is late in Nigeria right now but are you able to read my emails correctly right now?
It appears you are confused. In your email (below), you first say that you have informed Mr Matthew that the funds will be transferred bank-to-bank now, but in the second paragraph you are asking for delivery charges to be paid and registering my package with FedEx. Why do I have to register a bank-to-bank transfer with FedEx? Is FedEx going to do this electronic transfer? That doesn't make any sense to me.

Please, have a good night's sleep and then read my emails again carefully before replying.

thanks,
RJ

Lad wrote:

Attention': Rxxxxxxxx Jxxxxxxx,
Thanks for your mail,i want you know that Mr Bell, is in the Uk, and i stays in Nigeria, i will send the ATM card to him before he will withdraw and transfer to your bank. Before i send it to UK we need to insure this card and deliver to the bank.

The money started in the UK in Matthew Bell's company's/organization's bank account, then an ATM card was issued and picked up by the FedEx people in Nigeria, and now the card has to be sent back to the UK so Matthew Bell can transfer the money to my bank account?

I'm genuinely confused.

I decide to write to Matthew Bell...

I wrote:

Dear Mr Matthew Bell,

Please read this email and note the contents very well.
I have been communicating with Mr Eric Johnson (no relation to me) and it is now very late in Nigeria where he is located and I suspect he is being overworked, spending too many hours answering emails.
You see, he is getting very confused about what is happening, and he has made me very confused with his bizarre reading of my emails. His instructions and replies are not making any more sense to me.
He is now demanding that I pay for the ATM card being sent from Nigeria to your office in the UK so you can then do a bank-to-bank transfer. This makes no sense at all! I refuse to pay for your inter-office post. What next? Will I be paying your staff wages for you?

Please review Mr Eric Johnson's (no relation to me) behaviour and get back to me. I refuse to write any more to him for fear of making him even more stressed and confused than what he already is.

thanks,
RJ

I wrote:

Dear Eric,

I apologize for behaving this way but it has become necessary owing to your mental deterioration and inability to read my emails correctly.
I have written to Mr Matthew Bell and told him that I cannot deal with you until you have had a complete rest and removed the stress that you are clearly under right now.

thanks,
RJ

Matthew Bell replies...

Lad wrote:

Attn: Beneficiary,

YOUR INHERITANCE PAYMENT OF £7,500,000.00 GBPS POUNDS.

Thank you for your response, all you need to do is send $465 to them so that they will deliver your ATM card to you
and as soon as you receive it you can equally take it to your bank or any ATM machine to make withdraw.

Thanks as i await hearing from you soon.
Congratulations in Advance!!!

Thanks,
Mr. Matthew Bell,
Area Director, Barclays Bank

This is not helping my character's stress!

I wrote:

Dear Matthew,

What is going on with you people? Are you being serious? Are you actually reading my emails properly?
I'm not interested in an ATM card. They are rubbish, they only allow you to withdraw £300 each day. Do you know how long that would take for me to withdraw all of my winnings? At just £300 every day? An ATM card is just stupid for this purpose!
I said I would like a bank-to-bank transfer. You offered such an option to me, I know this because I read the email in which you offered it.
So please cancel that bloody ATM card and let me know when you are ready to transfer the winnings in a bank-to-bank transaction.

thank you,
RJ

Will I ever receive my winnings?

No, even before that happens, will I ever get these characters to understand I just want a bank-to-bank transfer!

(It's likely I won't since this lad doesn't seem too bright. I wouldn't be surprised if he quits on me because this is just making his head spin too much.)

Posted: Sat Sep 24, 2016 6:24 pm

The lad hasn't really thought about all this, has he?

Wonderfully played by yourself!

Posted: Fri Oct 07, 2016 12:42 pm

^^^ Thank you!

Matthew and Eric had been silent for a little while so I decided to prod the nest to see what flew out...

I wrote:

Dear Matthew Bell,

What is going on with you people?
HAve you sorted out the confusion about what form I would like my prize winnings to be sent to me?
As far as I remember, your delivery people thought I was interested in an ATM card. But that's no good for a sum of money this large. It would take too long to withdraw all that money through an ATM! Instead, as you offered originally, I would like the money to be transferred direct to my bank account.
Please inform me of what informations you need for me to receive my winnings through bank-to-bank transfer.

thank you,
RJ

Lad wrote:

Attn: Beneficiary,

YOUR INHERITANCE PAYMENT OF £7,500,000.00 GBPS POUNDS.

Thank you for your response also wants you to know that, we at this bank wish to congratulate and inform you that your fund approval By the British government, IMF, and the Barclays Bank will make your fund transfer without any delay as soon as you do with our instructions.

Please re-confirm to me the followings:

(1). Full Name:
(2). Address: .........
(3). Telephone: .......
(4). Occupation: ......
(5). Age/Sex...
(6). Copy of Identity card.
You can as well send to us with your bank details.
(1). Bank Name...
(2). Bank Address: .........
(3). Bank Telephone: .......
(4). Your Account Name: ......
(5). Account Number...
(6). Swift Code................

As soon as we receive all the requested information we will commence your fund transfer into your nominated bank account. If you follow our directives, your funds will be transferred to your Bank account within one (1) bank working day from the day you send your information. You are required to call this Bank (+447049999999 or +447049999999) immediately you receive this Confidential Letter.

Thanks as i await hearing from you soon.
Congratulations in Advance!!!

Thanks,
Mr. Matthew Bell,
Area Director, Barclays Bank
United Kingdom.

What?!? That's just the standard second-reply script! And it's back to being an inheritance format, too. Not good enough, Matthew!

At least, that's how I first read it and didn't go back to look at it again until after I'd sent the following email.

I wrote:

Dear Matthew,

Why have you sent what looks like a pre-written reply to my enquiry? I have already sent all my informations, you had already told me to contact the delivery man, and I had a series of confusing email exchanges with him several weeks ago. I then looked at your original emails and noticed that you had offered me a bank-to-bank transfer for my Coca Cola lottery winnings, and this is what I would like to opt for.
Please read my emails PROPERLY and send me the correct informations.

thank you,
RJ

Lad wrote:

Attention': Rxxxxxxx Jxxxxxxx,
I received a call from Mr. Bell, that i should send the ATM card to his bank for the bank to bank transfer, but before i will send it to his bank in the UK we need to insure this card with the insurance company before we deliver to his bank.

I repeat before sending to the UK we have to register with INSURANCE COMPANY with sum of £359 GBP.

Below is the information you are to use when sending the fee £359 GBP via Western Union Money Transfer or money gram to Peter.

Sender’s Name-----
Receivers name----PETER OKEZE
Receivers country----Lagos Nigeria.
Text question------------When?
Text answer--------------today
Amount ---------£359 GBP
MTCN....................?

We shall proceed as soon as we receive the required payment information of the registration fee of £359 GBP, to enable us register your parcel and email you the tracking numbers of your parcel.

Note that, FedEx is one of the world's great success stories, the start-up that revolutionized the delivery of packages and information. In the past 30 years, we' ve
grown up and grown into a diverse family of companies as FedEx that's bigger, stronger, better than ever. Waiting to read your e-mail or you can call me on +234-809999999.

Yours affectionately.

Mr. Eric Johnson.
Head Of Operation FedEx Courier service,
For the Ikeja branch manager
FedEx express services Lagos -Nigeria

Oh dear imaginary beings, it's like I'm stuck in a perpetual loop!!!

Time to get a little more stern...

I wrote:

Dear Eric,

Thank you for getting back to me.

I just pray that I will not experience the same lack of understanding you showed last time.

Read this carefully: I DO NOT WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH AN ATM CARD.
The money is not inside the card. Do you understand this? There is no need to send the card anywhere. Mr Matthew Bell works in the bank. My prize is in the bank. It is in Mr Matthew Bell's bank. He does NOT need an ATM card to access his bank's accounts.
I refuse to pay for some stupid and unnecessary ATM card when it is not needed.
NOT.
NEEDED.
Mr Matthew Bell, as a staff member of Barclays, can authorize a transfer from his bank to my bank, and the money will be transferred.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND?

I am getting very annoyed with this delay you are causing.

I suggest you take the ATM card and BURN IT. It is not needed.

thank you,
RJ

Lad wrote:

Attn: Beneficiary,

YOUR INHERITANCE PAYMENT OF £7,500,000.00 GBPS POUNDS.

Please re-confirm to me the followings so that we can transfer your winning fund.

(1). Full Name:
(2). Address: .........
(3). Telephone: .......
(4). Occupation: ......
(5). Age/Sex...
(6). Copy of Identity card.
You can as well send to us with your bank details.
(1). Bank Name...
(2). Bank Address: .........
(3). Bank Telephone: .......
(4). Your Account Name: ......
(5). Account Number...
(6). Swift Code................

As soon as we receive all the requested information we will commence your fund transfer into your nominated bank account. If you follow our directives, your funds will be transferred to your Bank account within one (1) bank working day from the day you send your information. You are required to call this Bank (+447049999999 or +4470499999999) immediately you receive this Confidential Letter.

Thanks as i await hearing from you soon.
Congratulations in Advance!!!

Thanks,
Mr. Matthew Bell,
Area Director, Barclays Bank
United Kingdom.

It's still an inheritance payment but at least he's now dropped the ATM nonsense. I'll play along now.

I wrote:

Dear Matthew,

Thank you for your email that is now sounding quite sensible. I'm glad there is now no mention of stupid ATM cards. Those things are useless when it comes to large funds. £300 daily limit for what I can get from the machine. Do you realize that to withdraw my £7,500,000 winnings, that would take me 25,000 days to take it all out! That's 68.5 years, and not being able to have a day off!!! Do you see now why I was annoyed at being given an ATM card for this prize?

Anyway, here are the bank infos that you asked for:
(1). Bank Name... TSB
(2). Bank Address: ......... 10 Vxxxxxxxx Close, Pxxxxxxx, Cxxxxxxx, England
(3). Bank Telephone: ....... 0203 999 9999
(4). Your Account Name: ...... Rxxxxxxx B Jxxxxxx
(5). Account Number... 99999999
(6). Swift Code................ Don't know what the swift code is, but I have a routing number which is 99-99-99

The other infos you asked for I have already sent previously. They should be on your records.

Looking forward to writing the email telling you everything has gone smoothly,
RJ

I'm now wondering what form the request for money will take.

Posted: Tue Oct 11, 2016 9:20 am

Lad wrote:

Attn:Rxxxxxxx Jxxxxxx,

YOUR INHERITANCE PAYMENT OF £7,500, 000.00 GBPS POUNDS.

This Is To Recognize Receipt Of Your Email Together With Your Full Banking Details. Following the Authorization from the Bureau of Financial, World Bank and the International Monetary, Regulation Today (Copy Attached of the Transfer Slips Below) I Am Thrilled To Update You That We Have Commenced The Wire Transfer Of (£7,500,000.00 GBPS Into Your Nominated Bank Account. Attach Here Are the Transfer Slips Below, Concerning The Charge From The International Monetary Fund (IMF) I Must Express Gratitude and Assure You That Your Transfer Has Been Made To Your Nominated Bank Name: TSB

Bank Address: 10 Vxxxxxxxxx Cxxxxx, Pxxxxxx, Cxxxxxxxx, England.
Bank Telephone: 0203 999 9999
Your Account Name: Rxxxxxxx B Jxxxxxx
Account Number: 68799999

Routing number: 7799-99. Equally Note That We Shall Forward to You By UPS, FEDEX, Or DHL, All The Necessary Permit Legitimizing This Payment to Avoid Any Uncomfortable Questions From Your Bank.

We the authoritative board and management of Barclay's Bank Plc UK, hereby Congratulate you and we want to let you know that You Are Kindly Mandatory To Pay The Sum Of £850.00 Being Fee For the AFFIDAVIT OF CLAIM CERTIFICATE, before your fund could REFLECT into your account, Consequently Take Note That The £7,500,000.00 GBPS Will Not Reflect Into Your Account Yet Until You Settle This Responsibility Of Final Crediting Of Your Bank Account, Reminder that as Our Set Protocols entails the Principle of Deduction of Above Fee from Your Funds Is Objectionable We Lack Jurisdiction to Do So Only Beneficiary Can Admittance this Fund.

Dear Jxxxxxx, Fee must be remitted in the manner as instructed by this office alone, representatives would not be entertained, be informed. We will proceed to issue of your fund REFLECTION as soon as the required charge is duly received. Kindly send the fee by (MONEY GRAM OFFICE ONLY) to the Authorized Bank ATTORNEY (STEVE MASHALL-PAGE) immediately to enable (Mrs. Shelly Hills) REFLECT your fund on your behalf.

BELOW IS THE PAYMENT INFORMATION.
===================================
RECEIVER NAME: STEVE MASHALL-PAGE
ADDRESS: LONDON-UK
AMOUNT: £850 ONLY
TEXT QUESTION: ----IN GOD
ANSWER: ---- WE TRUST
====================================
Email the payment slip to our Office for Proper Action, Bear in Intelligence that you are Compulsory to Apply Urgency on That Payment as You Have Just 48 Hours Meaning Two Banking Days to Have It Done.

We Intensely Welcome Your Co-operation And Understanding.

Thanks,
Mr. Matthew Bell,
Area Director, Barclays Bank
United Kingdom.
Tel: +447049999999

And it's still an inheritance fund, Matthew? Whatever, I've given up trying to get your story straight.

He sends the email again, this time with an attachment. It's a lacklustre receipt showing something or other. Nothing funny or amusing.

They were both sent at 11.30 on Saturday night, so I use this as an easy and obvious delay...

I wrote:

Dear Matthew,

Thank you for your email with the details.

You may not be aware, but it is almost midnight on Saturday night. I am not going to find anywhere to send a payment at this time of night and this day.
Also, you may or may not be aware, but tomorrow is Sunday.
As you will know, banks are not open on a Sunday in the UK so I will also not be able to find somewhere to authorize a payment tomorrow.
This is why most sensible people don't send business letters and emails on a weekend.

regards,
RJ

Sunday morning and he sends the same email as before.

Sunday afternoon and he sends the same email as before.

Monday morning... you get the idea.

So I decide that since my character is in the UK...

I wrote:

Dear Matthew Bell,

Thank you for your recent email.

I live right next to London. Please give me the address of Mr Steven Mashall-Page and I can go hand the money directly to him. This will have zero risks and zero delays. Sending money through old-fashioned things like Money Gram might be okay when the two people are thousands of miles apart, but I'm just 30 minutes away from the centre of London so this is a much better option. Please also let him know I will be coming to his place to pay this money.

thank you,
RJ

Lad wrote:

Attn:Rxxxxxxx Jxxxxxx,

YOUR INHERITANCE PAYMENT OF £7,500, 000.00 GBPS POUNDS.

Dear Jxxxxxx, Fee must be remitted in the manner as instructed by this office alone, representatives would not be entertained, be informed. We will proceed to issue of your fund REFLECTION as soon as the required charge is duly received. Kindly send the fee by (MONEY GRAM OFFICE ONLY) to the Authorized Bank ATTORNEY (STEVE MASHALL-PAGE) immediately to enable (Mrs. Shelly Hills) REFLECT your fund on your behalf.

BELOW IS THE PAYMENT INFORMATION.
===================================
RECEIVER NAME: STEVE MASHALL-PAGE
ADDRESS: LONDON-UK
AMOUNT: £850 ONLY
TEXT QUESTION: ----IN GOD
ANSWER: ---- WE TRUST
====================================
Email the payment slip to our Office for Proper Action, Bear in Intelligence that you are Compulsory to Apply Urgency on That Payment as You Have Just 22 Hours to Have It Done.

We Intensely Welcome Your Co-operation And Understanding.

Thanks,
Mr. Matthew Bell,
Area Director, Barclays Bank
United Kingdom.
Tel: +447049999999

Okay, that's not exactly like the last 5-6 emails but it's still saying the same basic thing.

And before I can even send a reply about how I need Mr Mashall-Page's address, he sends another email...

Lad wrote:

Attn:Rxxxxxxx Jxxxxxx,

YOUR INHERITANCE PAYMENT OF £7,500, 000.00 GBPS POUNDS.

Good day to you ,i am Mr. Matthew Bell, Director and Head Of Operation Barclay's Bank United Kingdom, To acknowledge the receipt of your email, I want you to understand that the world is full of evil and most times people may assume that every one is evil, I am of the option that we still need to trust even if we got disappointed at the tail end but trust be the first because it out of trust comes confident. If I do not learn to trust, how can I have the zeal and how can we prepare to transfer this fund in your Name.

I will like you to know the kind of man you are dealing with, I am a man of honor and with regards to humanity. I do not have any criminal record all my life and I see no reason why I should be part of ISSUE that will jeopardize my reputation at this last stage of my life. I have been working here for years now without any default and we want to inform you that your fund transfer commence within 6hrs as soon as you pay the sum £85.

Dear Jxxxxxx, Fee must be remitted in the manner as instructed by this office alone, representatives would not be entertained, be informed. We will proceed to issue of your fund REFLECTION as soon as the required charge is duly received. Kindly send the fee by (MONEY GRAM OFFICE ONLY) to the Authorized Bank ATTORNEY (STEVE MASHALL-PAGE) immediately to enable (Mrs. Shelly Hills) REFLECT your fund on your behalf.

BELOW IS THE PAYMENT INFORMATION.
===================================
RECEIVER NAME: STEVE MASHALL-PAGE
ADDRESS: LONDON-UK
AMOUNT: £850 ONLY
TEXT QUESTION: ----IN GOD
ANSWER: ---- WE TRUST
====================================
Email the payment slip to our Office for Proper Action, Bear in Intelligence that you are Compulsory to Apply Urgency on That Payment as You Have Just 22 Hours to Have It Done.

We Intensely Welcome Your Co-operation And Understanding.

Thanks,
Mr. Matthew Bell,
Area Director, Barclays Bank
United Kingdom.
Tel: +447049999999

I'm not even sure what he's saying, apart from blahblahmoneygramblahblahblah.

I wrote:

Dear Matthew Bell,

Thank you for your very quick response but you haven't provided me with a proper address so I can visit Mr Steve Mashall-Page and hand this £850 to him.
You seem to be implying that meeting face-to-face is unreliable.

Seriously, how is that unreliable?

When I meet Mr Steve Mashall-Page, I will hand over the £850 I have in my bag. I know it is there, I know I am giving it to him, I know he has received it.

When I send Mr Steve Mashall-Page £850 through Money Gram, I have to hope that no one along the way (the person at the bank who gets the money when I hand it over at the bank, for example) is honest. All it takes is for one weak person in a long chain of people dealing with this money to steal it.

Which is the more reliable? Relying on lots of bank people, or me handing the money directly into Steve's hands?

Please supply me with Steve Mashall-Page's informations so I can meet him and hand this money to him. This is the most secure method known.

thank you,
RJ

Lad wrote:

Attn:Rxxxxxxx Jxxxxxx,

YOUR INHERITANCE PAYMENT OF £7,500, 000.00 GBPS POUNDS.

Dear Jxxxxxx, Attorney has gone to the obtain the two documents from the high curt, due to what i told him that you making this payment today he decided use his money and power to get this documents. So if you are ready to receive this fund Fee must be remitted in the manner as instructed by this office alone, representatives would not be entertained, be informed We will REFLECTION your fund as soon as the required charge is duly received. Kindly send the fee by (MONEY GRAM OFFICE ONLY) to the Authorized Bank ATTORNEY (STEVE MASHALL-PAGE) immediately to enable (Mrs. Shelly Hills) REFLECT your fund on your behalf.

BELOW IS THE PAYMENT INFORMATION.
===================================
RECEIVER NAME: STEVE MASHALL-PAGE
ADDRESS: LONDON-UK
AMOUNT: £850 ONLY
TEXT QUESTION: ----IN GOD
ANSWER: ---- WE TRUST
====================================
Email the payment slip to our Office for Proper Action, Bear in Intelligence that you are Compulsory to Apply Urgency on That Payment as You Have Just 22 Hours to Have It Done.

We Intensely Welcome Your Co-operation And Understanding.

Thanks,
Mr. Matthew Bell,
Area Director, Barclays Bank
United Kingdom.
Tel: +447049999999

Again? Then I remember this is the lad who couldn't get away from being hung-up on an ATM card being sent to me, despite my requesting a bank-to-bank transfer over and over.

I wrote:

Dear Matthew Bell,

PLEASE GIVE ME STEVE MASHALL-PAGE'S INFOS RIGHT NOW SO I CAN MEET THIS MAN.

I can have this £850 in his hands within 40-50 minutes from now.

Why are you wasting my time here?

Lad wrote:

Attn:Rxxxxxxx Jxxxxxx,

YOUR INHERITANCE PAYMENT OF £7,500, 000.00 GBPS POUNDS.

If you are ready to receive your fund follow the instructions, i begging to wonder if your are the real beneficiary of this winning fund.
Please i have other customers to attend to have a nice day. Remember you have just 20hrs from now to have it done.

BELOW IS THE PAYMENT INFORMATION.
===================================
RECEIVER NAME: STEVE MASHALL-PAGE
ADDRESS: LONDON-UK
AMOUNT: £850 ONLY
TEXT QUESTION: ----IN GOD
ANSWER: ---- WE TRUST
====================================
Email the payment slip to our Office for Proper Action, Bear in Intelligence that you are Compulsory to Apply Urgency on That Payment as You Have Just 22 Hours to Have It Done.

We Intensely Welcome Your Co-operation And Understanding.

Thanks,
Mr. Matthew Bell,
Area Director, Barclays Bank
United Kingdom.
Tel: +447049999999

Oh, you're threatening my winnings now?

I wrote:

Dear Matthew,

Stop with the threats.
Stop with the inability to read English.
Stop with the IDIOCY YOU ARE DISPLAYING.

All I want is Steve Mashall-Page's address so I can hand over this £850 directly into his hands. I refuse to use that old-fashioned Money Gram nonsense. That shit should have been scrapped a century ago, it's not a reliable or modern way to do business. I've heard only criminals and online scammers use it, so why is Barclays Bank using it?

GIVE ME STEVE MASHALL-PAGE'S ADDRESS AND I WILL GIVE HIM THE £850 MYSELF TODAY.

And don't you dare threaten my winnings. You are just a bank worker, not the lottery fund organizer. You have no authority or level to do that kind of thing.

Lad wrote:

Attn:Rxxxxxxx Jxxxxxx,

YOUR INHERITANCE PAYMENT OF £7,500, 000.00 GBPS POUNDS.

Use money gram to send him this payment, i do not know his address he is just an attorney.

Please i have other customers to attend to have a nice day. Remember you have just 20hrs from now to have it done.

BELOW IS THE PAYMENT INFORMATION.
===================================
RECEIVER NAME: STEVE MASHALL-PAGE
ADDRESS: LONDON-UK
AMOUNT: £850 ONLY
TEXT QUESTION: ----IN GOD
ANSWER: ---- WE TRUST
====================================
Email the payment slip to our Office for Proper Action, Bear in Intelligence that you are Compulsory to Apply Urgency on That Payment as You Have Just 22 Hours to Have It Done.

We Intensely Welcome Your Co-operation And Understanding.

Thanks,
Mr. Matthew Bell,
Area Director, Barclays Bank
United Kingdom.
Tel: +447049999999

You're using this guy to receive payments for A BANK and you don't know his address or anything? Hmmm.

I wrote:

Dear Matthew,

I see you are being serious and reasonable now. That is a good improvement.

I didn't want to write this before because I am still embarassed about it, but I am banned from using these money-transfer systems. Both Western Union and Money Gram have banned me permanently for life from using their systems because last year I got involved with some scammers from Benin Republic and the whole two months was a complete mess where I caused a fight in one of the offices, I threatened the life of a manager of another, and it's all a horrible memory I want to forget. The result was that I was banned from ever using these systems. That is why I insulted Money Gram in my last few emails. I hope you understand.

I am still willing to meet Mr Steve Mashall-Page. If he is working closely with you, receiving payments for you, then just contact him and tell him my email address. Explain the situation, tell him I will meet him today if he gives me a time and place to meet. I will even bring an extra £100 just for the inconvenience I've caused you.

Please continue in the manner of your last email where you were sensible, serious, and reasonable. I don't want a repeat of your other emails where you sounded like you were an amateur or a little boy pretending to be a grown-up man.

thanks,
RJ

Lad wrote:

Attn:Rxxxxxxx Jxxxxxxx,

YOUR INHERITANCE PAYMENT OF £7,500, 000.00 GBPS POUNDS.

Pay it to his nationwide bank .

BELOW IS THE BANK INFORMATION.
===================================
Bank Name : Nationwide Bank:
Account Name: Mr Steve Marshall-Page
IBAN: XX** NAIA 9999 4999 9993 99
BIC: NAIAXX99
Swift Intermediary Bank:XXXXX22
Account No: 22994399
Routing/ Sort Code: 99-99-99
Address Kxxxxxxx Road, Mxxxxxxx, Nxxxxxxxxx. UK NN9 9XX
====================================
Email the payment slip to our Office for Proper Action, Bear in Intelligence that you are Compulsory to Apply Urgency on That Payment as You Have Just 19 Hours to Have It Done.

We Intensely Welcome Your Co-operation And Understanding.

Thanks,
Mr. Matthew Bell,
Area Director, Barclays Bank
United Kingdom.
Tel: +447049999999

Ooh, a bank account! Thanks, Matthew. Reported.

I wrote:

Dear Matthew,

Okay, that's better than nothing. Better than Money Gram, too.

I am still disappointed not to be able to meet this man, though. So far, I have not met any of you people who are going to give me such a big sum of money. A life-changing amount of money. I wish to meet someone and thank them personally for allowing this to happen. Ideally, I would like to meet YOU, Mr Bell, since you are the man dealing with this directly. If you work or live in London, maybe I'll see if I can find where you are.

Anyway, I will go to my bank this afternoon and make the payment.

regards,
RJ

Posted: Thu Oct 13, 2016 9:47 am

Lad wrote:

Attn:Rxxxxxxx Jxxxxxx,

YOUR INHERITANCE PAYMENT OF £7,500, 000.00 GBPS POUNDS.

Good day to you, We find-out that you are playing with this office bank, and that is the reason your fund is still pending and today we will call back your fund into Barclays Bank account until you fully paid the sum of £850. And for your information do not email or call for this fund until you pay the sum £850 and send to this bank the payment slip given to you by money gram.

Dear Jxxxxxx, Fee must be remitted in the manner as instructed by this office alone, representatives would not be entertained, be informed. We will proceed to issue of your fund REFLECTION as soon as the required charge is duly received. Kindly send the fee by (MONEY GRAM OFFICE ONLY) to the Authorized Bank ATTORNEY (STEVE MASHALL-PAGE) immediately to enable (Mrs. Shelly Hills) REFLECT your fund on your behalf.

BELOW IS THE PAYMENT INFORMATION.
===================================
RECEIVER NAME: STEVE MASHALL-PAGE
ADDRESS: LONDON-UK
AMOUNT: £850 ONLY
TEXT QUESTION: ----IN GOD
ANSWER: ---- WE TRUST
====================================
Email the payment slip to our Office for Proper Action, Bear in Intelligence that you are Compulsory to Apply Urgency on That Payment as You Have Just 22 Hours to Have It Done.

We Intensely Welcome Your Co-operation And Understanding.

Thanks,
Mr. Matthew Bell,
Area Director, Barclays Bank
United Kingdom.
Tel: +447049999999

Why are you sending me the Money Gram infos again, Matthew? I've already told you I can't use that!

But never mind, he then follows up quickly with another email...

Lad wrote:

Attn:Rxxxxxxx Jxxxxxx,

YOUR INHERITANCE PAYMENT OF £7,500, 000.00 GBPS POUNDS.

Please can you view your last email?

(You may not be aware, but it is almost midnight on Saturday night. I am not going to find anywhere to send a payment at this time of night and this day.
Also, you may or may not be aware, but tomorrow is Sunday.
As you will know, banks are not open on a Sunday in the UK so I will also not be able to find somewhere to authorize a payment tomorrow.
This is why most sensible people don't send business letters and emails on a weekend.

regards,
RJ)

And that is to show that you are a lair .
We Intensely Welcome Your Co-operation And Understanding.

Thanks,
Mr. Matthew Bell,
Area Director, Barclays Bank
United Kingdom.
Tel: +447049999999

I thought this one might clear things up, but it mystifies me even more.
So I'm a liar (or lair; take your pick) for saying it was Satuday night when I sent that mail?
My character is not amused at all.

I wrote:

Dear Matthew,

How dare you, a lowly bank worker not even working for the Coca Cola lottery, insult me in this pitiful way!
It WAS Saturday night when I sent that email, no banks work on a Sunday. Where are the so-called lies in what I said?
I have done the bank-to-bank transfer to Steve Marshall-Page. If he checks that account he will see the transfer for himself.

I am questioning your suitability of your position if you only want to insult customers and clients.

RJ

Lad wrote:

Attn:Rxxxxxxx Jxxxxxx,

YOUR INHERITANCE PAYMENT OF £7,500, 000.00 GBPS POUNDS.

We are sorry for the insult, and Please can send to this bank the payment slip to me so that i will forward it to Mr. Steve, and as soon as he confirm it you will receive your within 1hr.

We Intensely Welcome Your Co-operation And Understanding.

Thanks,
Mr. Matthew Bell,
Area Director, Barclays Bank
United Kingdom.
Tel: +447049999999

Lads and their bits of paper!

Lad wrote:

Attn:Rxxxxxxx Jxxxxxx,

YOUR INHERITANCE PAYMENT OF £7,500, 000.00 GBPS POUNDS.

We are sorry for the insult, attach the payment slip to me so that i will forward it to Mr. Steve, and as soon as he confirm it you will receive your within 1hr.

We Intensely Welcome Your Co-operation And Understanding.

Thanks,
Mr. Matthew Bell,
Area Director, Barclays Bank
United Kingdom.
Tel: +447049999999

I don't know why he sent that second email, slightly amended.

But then... I've stopped trying to understand this one completely.

I wrote:

Matthew,

There is no receipt, I did the transaction online. I might not be young and trendy anymore but I try to keep up with modern methods. Steve Marshall-Page doesn't need any piece of paper, the money is already in his account as soon as I clicked "Transfer" on my computer on Monday afternoon.

regards,
RJ

Online banking, it's this new thing, see?

Lad wrote:

Attn:Rxxxxxxx Jxxxxxx,

YOUR INHERITANCE PAYMENT OF £7,500, 000.00 GBPS POUNDS.

Please what date did you make this payment?

Thanks,
Mr. Matthew Bell,
Area Director, Barclays Bank
United Kingdom.
Tel: +447049999999

I told you: Monday afternoon!

I wrote:

Matthew,

It was the 10th of October in the year of 2016. In the afternoon. I'd have to get home to use my computer to see the exact time.

regards,
RJ

Lad wrote:

Attn:Rxxxxxxx Jxxxxxx,

YOUR INHERITANCE PAYMENT OF £7,500, 000.00 GBPS POUNDS.

Mr. Steve, said that the £850 payment have not reflect into his bank account. And we are waiting for the confirmation from Steve so that your receive your fund into your account.

Thanks,
Mr. Matthew Bell,
Area Director, Barclays Bank
United Kingdom.
Tel: +447049999999

Mr Steve isn't looking hard enough!

I wrote:

Matthew,

I'm back home so I am able to check my bank account online to see when the transfer took place.
As I said, it was 10/10/2016 and the time was 14:36, so Steve's account should show the £850 any time after that. (It's usually instant, when I've paid people this way before, but there is a warning on the Payment page saying that sometimes it can take up to 5 working days but this is rare.)

thanks,
RJ

Giving myself some time for the bank account report to get through to wherever it might need to go.

Lad wrote:

Attn:Rxxxxxxx Jxxxxxx,

YOUR INHERITANCE PAYMENT OF £7,500, 000.00 GBPS POUNDS.

We the authoritative board and management of Barclays Bank Plc UK, hereby Congratulate you and announce to you that Mr. Steve, have received the payment £850 and also want you to know that your fund will reflect into your bank account by 1:25 pm today.
Congratulation Once Again.

Thanks,
Mr. Matthew Bell,
Area Director, Barclays Bank
United Kingdom.
Tel: +447049999999

What?!? Oh, wait, perhaps he's trying to cover up for the account being suspended. Maybe?
Whatever, Matthew, I certainly didn't really send £850 to Mr Steve!

I'm guessing when the transfer time comes close, he'll send another email saying that there will be a problem that can only be fixed by sending more money.
Or the time will pass and when my character asks where the money is then that problem will be discovered.

Posted: Thu Oct 13, 2016 2:18 pm

I wonder why he doesn't "Intensely Welcome Your Co-operation And Understanding" anymore. Crying or Very sad

Posted: Fri Oct 14, 2016 4:24 pm

^^^ I don't know. I've tried to comply with this instructions, I really have!

Anyway, things turn a bit sour towards the end.

But first...

I wrote:

Dear Matthew,

Thank you so much for that wonderful news! I will check my account online later this afternoon and let you know when it is successful.

thank you,
RJ

Lad wrote:

Attn:Rxxxxxxx Jxxxxxx,

YOUR INHERITANCE PAYMENT OF £7,500, 000.00 GBPS POUNDS.

I Want to inform you that Mr. Steve, just called that the £850 is not receive by him that there was a mistake. According to him, he said that the money he saw in his account was sent by his son and the amount was £1050.

Please i want you to send to us the alert you received online after the transfer of £850. Once again send to me the alert you received online after you made the transfer. Because we on our desk to reflect your fund now in your bank account.

VIEW THE ATTACHED FUND OWNERSHIP CERTIFICATE and FUND APPROVAL CERTIFICATE below.

Congratulation Once Again.

Thanks,
Mr. Matthew Bell,
Area Director, Barclays Bank
United Kingdom.
Tel: +447049999999

Really?

He attaches some insipid certificates, complete with RSoT.

I wrote:

Dear Matthew,

I am very disappointed now. Is this Mr Steve Marshall-Page joking with us? First he says he sees my transfer, then he denies that it's there and claims it was a transfer from his son WITH A DIFFERENT NAME and WITH A DIFFERENT AMOUNT?!? This is beyond silly, this is beyond believable. This is playing games with us and there is no other way to call it.

Since you refuse to give me his contact details, I must insist that YOU get on to this man, this joker, and tell him to start acting in a serious manner, no more games, no more stupidity, just serious business behaviour. Okay?

It is now 1.38pm, a few minutes after the time YOU PROMISED me my winnings would be here. As you might be able to work out, I am VERY ANGRY right now.

thanks,
RJ

Lad wrote:

Attn:Rxxxxxxx Jxxxxxx,

YOUR INHERITANCE PAYMENT OF £7,500, 000.00 GBPS POUNDS.

Maybe the payment you sent have not reflected to his account but i want you send to me the online payment payment alert now as soon as you do it i will reflect your fund now.

VIEW THE ATTACHED FUND OWNERSHIP CERTIFICATE and FUND APPROVAL CERTIFICATE below.

Congratulation Once Again.

Thanks,
Mr. Matthew Bell,
Area Director, Barclays Bank
United Kingdom.
Tel: +447049999999

Same attachments.

I wrote:

Dear Matthew,

Thank you for getting back so quickly.

Do you mean the payment verification email when you write "alert"?

Also, have you contacted Mr Steve Marshall-Page and told him that his behaviour is not acceptable? I urge you to do this.

thank you,
RJ

I don't know why I ask these extra questions (e.g., the one about Mr Steve) since he's never really addressed anything extra I add on top of matters relating directly to the payment. This trend will continue.

Lad wrote:

Attn:Rxxxxxxxx Jxxxxxx,

YOUR INHERITANCE PAYMENT OF £7,500, 000.00 GBPS POUNDS.

Yes, send to me the online payment alert now as soon as you do it i will reflect your fund now.

VIEW THE ATTACHED FUND OWNERSHIP CERTIFICATE and FUND APPROVAL CERTIFICATE below.

Congratulation Once Again.

Thanks,
Mr. Matthew Bell,
Area Director, Barclays Bank
United Kingdom.
Tel: +447049999999

I wrote:

Dear Matthew,

Thank you for your response.
I was looking for that email while waiting for your reply, and I feel I have deleted it from my email program. However, if you can wait until my daughter gets back from school I am certain she will know how to get that deleted email back. She's amazing at computer stuff!

In the meantime, please contact Mr Steve and get him to explain himself properly. Or even better, give me an email or telephone number so I can contact him myself. I insist you do this for me.

thanks,
RJ

Lad wrote:

Attn:Rxxxxxxx Jxxxxxx,

YOUR INHERITANCE PAYMENT OF £7,500, 000.00 GBPS POUNDS.

Yes, send to me the verification online payment alert now as soon as you do it i will reflect your fund now.

VIEW THE ATTACHED FUND OWNERSHIP CERTIFICATE and FUND APPROVAL CERTIFICATE below.

Congratulation Once Again.

Thanks,
Mr. Matthew Bell,
Area Director, Barclays Bank
United Kingdom.
Tel: +447049999999

He doesn't read very well what I write. I told him I'll have to wait for my daughter to get back home to get the deleted mail back!

I wrote:

Matthew,

Read my email again. I have deleted that verification email (I can see the transaction in my online statement so I had no need to keep the email) but when my daughter gets home she will know how to get the email back. I'm expecting her back at about 4pm.

Where is the contact details for Mr Steve? SEND THESE NOW, PLEASE.

thanks,
RJ

Lad wrote:

Attn:Rxxxxxxx Jxxxxxx,

YOUR INHERITANCE PAYMENT OF £7,500, 000.00 GBPS POUNDS.

Please check your deleted emails on the trash after spam box.

Congratulation Once Again.

Thanks,
Mr. Matthew Bell,
Area Director, Barclays Bank
United Kingdom.
Tel: +447049999999

Yes, it might be there!

Lad wrote:

Attn:Rxxxxxxx Jxxxxxx,

YOUR INHERITANCE PAYMENT OF £7,500, 000.00 GBPS POUNDS.

Please check your deleted emails on the trash you will find it there.

Congratulation Once Again.

Thanks,
Mr. Matthew Bell,
Area Director, Barclays Bank
United Kingdom.
Tel: +447049999999

I will?

Lad wrote:

Attn:Rxxxxxxx Jxxxxxx,

YOUR INHERITANCE PAYMENT OF £7,500, 000.00 GBPS POUNDS.

Please check your deleted emails on the trash you will find it there, the auditors and IMF officers are still here
now complaining.

Thanks,
Mr. Matthew Bell,
Area Director, Barclays Bank
United Kingdom.
Tel: +447049999999

Ah, pressure!

I wrote:

Dear Matthew,

The email is not in my Trash folder. I have it set to wipe out my Trash folder at midnight every night, this is why I need my daughter to come home and recover the email. She's done it before for me, that's how I know she can do it.

And why are those people complaining? If they want to shout at anyone, it should be Mr Steve they are mobbing with their complaints, not a client!

And talking of Mr Steve... GIVE ME HIS CONTACT INFOS.

thanks,
RJ

Lad wrote:

Attn:Rxxxxxxx Jxxxxxx

YOUR INHERITANCE PAYMENT OF £7,500, 000.00 GBPS POUNDS.

We just receive an email with DOCUMENT from the World Bank i want you to go through the document and get back to me, Please check email below

Thanks,
Mr. Matthew Bell,
Area Director, Barclays Bank United Kingdom.
Tel: +447049999999

He attaches two letters from (oh no!) The World Bank, and it's basically a demand for £7500 for some reason or other. It refers to some financial act or statute, and this allows The World Bank (du-du-duhhh!) to demand money from me because.

Lad wrote:

Attn:Rxxxxxxx Jxxxxxx,

YOUR INHERITANCE PAYMENT OF £7,500, 000.00 GBPS POUNDS.

I will advise you to go to your bank this morning tell them to give you the confirmation of the payment you made to Mr. Steve, because we are fighting over this payment and i want to prove him wrong. And i also want ask you if you read the message from the world bank.

Thanks,
Mr. Matthew Bell,
Area Director, Barclays Bank
United Kingdom.
Tel: +447049999999

I miss a way in here by skipping the "to prove him wrong" and just ignore his email for a while.

Then The World Bank (boo! hiss!) emails me!

Lad wrote:

THE WORLD BANK GENEVA OFFICE.
3 Chemin Luis-Dunant 1211 Geneva 20,
Switzerland.

Attn;Rxxxxxxx Jxxxxxx,

RE:TRANSFER INTERCEPTION NOTIFICATION

This email is to inform you about transferred the sum of £7,500,000.00 to
Account#:68999999 in TSB Bank, and we have forwarded to you document
that carried our instructions. We also give 24hours to respond to our email.

We await your urgent response to this office

My best regards,
Ms Caroline Heider
Director General World Bank.

I think the lad is seeing this "World Bank" as some kind of Banking Police organization.

He attaches the two letters as before.

Lad wrote:

Attn:Rxxxxxxx Jxxxxxx,

YOUR INHERITANCE PAYMENT OF £7,500, 000.00 GBPS POUNDS.

I will advise you to stop lair it will never help i wanted arrest Steve but you do not have any proof of payment we have cancel your payment because of this act.

Thanks,
Mr. Matthew Bell,
Area Director, Barclays Bank
United Kingdom.
Tel: +447049999999

It's this email that makes me realize that I missed an interesting direction by not giving him the "proof" that Steve had lied. He wanted to ARREST Mr Steve?

I wrote:

Dear Matthew,

I'm not fighting over this payment because I KNOW it has been sent to Mr Steve's account. I saw it take place.
Anyway, it occurred to me this morning: Why did I have to send this payment to some lawyer's account? You're working for Barclays, one of the biggest banks in the world! Why could I not send the payment to an account in your bank? Why are you using this Mr Steve person? What is going to happen to my money in his account? Does he have to withdraw it and then send it to you? How stupid is that! Stupid and slow. If I had transferred the money directly to a Barclays account, you would have the money RIGHT NOW. Instead, we're relying on this person who I have never heard of, and I have no assurance that he is to be trusted. If this week's events are any evidence then he CAN'T be trusted.

And yes, I saw that pathetic email from the so-called World Bank. Seriously? The World Bank is a company that gives loans to developing countries. The UK is not a developing country! There is no need at all for this World Bank to touch any of my money. And even if they could, they are a lending company. They hand out loans. That email read like they think they're the money police or something.
The only time I would have to pay the World Bank any money is if I took out a loan with them.
I haven't taken a loan with them (mainly because they deal with developing countries' governments).
I deleted that email because it is total nonsense.

regards,
RJ

It's true. I looked it up!

I write to Caroline, too...

I wrote:

Dear Caroline Heider,

I don't know why you are emailing me. I do not fit into the World Bank's area of business because I am not a developing country in need of a loan to help my country's services or finances. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World_Bank

Please remove my details from your system because I am not your target customer.

thank you,
RJ

I wrote:

Dear Matthew,

So it's insults again, is it?

I tell you, you have been nothing but annoying, insulting, and the worst customer services person I have ever dealt with.

You work for Barclays Bank. You have NOTHING to do with my winnings, which came from the Coca Cola company. You don't have the authority or the level to cancel anything. Please stop pretending to be more powerful than you really are. You nothing but a minor staff member, and I am sorry I ever had to deal with you.

I will return to Coca Cola representative and ask to deal with another person, and I will forward all of the insults to them that you have sent to me. I will not be surprised if you find yourself out of a job as a result of the insults.

RJ

I wrote:

Dear Matthew,

And you're still referring to this as my "inheritance payment"! I've told you many times, it is a lottery prize. From the Coca Cola company.
You really are incompetent and useless at your job. You have no positive qualities, no skills, no level, no authority, no personality (unless "dull and stupid" counts as personality). I'm going to write to Mr Jim Edward from the Coca Cola company and ask that my claim be changed to someone else, someone who at least reads my emails, doesn't insult me, and can do his job properly.

Goodbye.
It was horrible trying to work with you.

I feel this could be over.

My mistake was not noticing the "to prove him wrong" opening. I might have been able to throw some suspicion on this Mr Steve character and avoid being called a lair.
At least for now.
It would have happened eventually, of course.

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