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 Rachel and Tony (was: Banned From Mastercard!)

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Otterfan
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Joined: 14 Mar 2007
Posts: 2481
Location: UK -- land of otters and non-otters


PostPosted: Mon May 16, 2016 11:38 am Reply with quoteBack to top

I sent off a reply to a "your ATM card is ready for dispatch" opening format with this:

I wrote:
Dear Mr Larry,

Your email is quite funny to me! I laughed a lot when I read it!
You see, I am banned from owning a Mastercard because of some naughty things I tried to do with one when I was younger. You are offering me one now but I can't have one, this is very funny to me!

But seriously, please let me know if it is possible to have such a card as a Visa or something similar BUT NOT MASTERCARD because I am banned by the Mastercard company.

thank you,
[Baiter Name]


The reply today:

Lad wrote:
ATTENTION; [Baiter Name].

Good day. i received your mail i am sorry for that i didn't knew that you were banned for own YOUR ATM Mastercard for that. before its was broth to us to delivery to your address. and he have been a very quite long your parcel was registered here. however your have to send your receiving address.

Your. Full Name....
Your. home address......
Your. city...........
Your. contact cell phone...
Your. next of King...

this for they require for the change of the Mastercard to visa Card and please do tell them you have an issure with your card that you want it to be change into visa do tell that you were banned for that just tell you need it to be into visa as well

Contact information

Email.. ( [email protected] )
Name.. Mr. Anthony MARK.

ONCE THAT OF SUCCESSFULLY WE WILL CARRY ON THE DELIVERY WE COULD HAVE CARRY IT OUT DUE WHAT YOU SAID WE CAN DELIVERY AN INVALID PARCEL TO YOU DO AS I SAID AND KEEP ME UPDATE TODAY.

Thank You To Using Our Service DHL We Service you batter In God We Trust.

We await your urgent response Or call us is needed for oral discussion as you can likewise reach us through our hotline below +234-99-9999-9999 . Once again reconfirm your address where you will like to receive the package to avoid wrong delivery..

FAITHFULLY YOURS IN SERVICE
THANKS
MR.Frank A Larry
(MANAGER INTERNATIONAL DELIVERY DEPARTMENT)


(I love how bad his English becomes since he's had to dump his pre-written script and make up his own reply to what I wrote.)

So... next time you read that lads NEVER read the first reply, you have my permission to look skeptical and make a little "Really?" noise.

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Last edited by Otterfan on Sat Jul 09, 2016 9:37 am; edited 3 times in total
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PostPosted: Mon May 16, 2016 11:53 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Nice way to get him off script Very Happy

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Mattaz
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PostPosted: Mon May 16, 2016 11:55 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
...before its was broth to us...

Is he making soup? Smile

Nice to have you back, Otterfan.

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Padme
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PostPosted: Mon May 16, 2016 12:13 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Nicely done. I like it.

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Otterfan
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PostPosted: Mon May 16, 2016 7:19 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I wrote:
Dear Mr Frank,

Thank you for understanding.
I will send a message to Mr Anthony MARK and tell him to change Mastercard to Visa.
I hope he can do that for me.

thank you,
[Baiter Name]


Lad wrote:
ATTENTION; [Baiter Name].

Good day. your mail have been received and it was very clearly to me and understood do get in touch to him like i said do not tell them you were banned from it like i said so that it will not look superiors do that and let me know SO THAT I WILL SUBMIT IT TO THEM TO STAR THE PROCESS TODAY DO GIVE HIM OUR EMAIL FOR CONTACT SO THAT I CAN GO AND MEET THEM IN THEY DEPARTMENT AS WELL it will help without any cost. do that and let me know so by next tomorrow we will carry oN the delivery

ONCE THE THEY ARE SUCCESSFULLY DON AND CONFIRM TO US WE WILL CARRY ON THE DELIVERY WE COULD HAVE CARRY IT OUT DUE WHAT YOU SAID WE CAN DELIVERY AN INVALID PARCEL TO YOU DO AS I SAID AND KEEP ME UPDATE TODAY.

Thank You To Using Our Service DHL We Service you batter In God We Trust.

We await your urgent response Or call us is needed for oral discussion as you can likewise reach us through our hotline below +234-99-9999-9999 . Once again reconfirm your address where you will like to receive the package to avoid wrong delivery..

FAITHFULLY YOURS IN SERVICE
THANKS
MR.Frank A Larry
(MANAGER INTERNATIONAL DELIVERY DEPARTMENT)


Okay, I think I managed to extract from this broken English that I should write to Anthony MARK to request a change to Visa from Mastercard but I must not mention the reason (i.e., that I was banned by Mastercard from owning on of their cards).

I wrote:
Dear Mr Frank Larry,

I received your email and noted its contents.
I understand what you said except I have a problem now. You said I can't tell Mr Anthony MARK why I want to change from Mastercard to Visa. But what will I tell him the reason for this? He is sure to wonder why I am making this strange and weird requesti, so how do I reply to his questions when he asks me?

Please advise.

thank you,
[Baiter Name]


Lad wrote:
ATTENTION; [Baiter Name].

Thank you for your email tell him that you are not longer using Mastercard in your business because he wasn't too feast and you are a business talcum and traveler and they changes is much and some of the country machine were you are dealing business the machine were not accept Mastercard for withdrawing.

they should help you because the Mastercard is affecting your business he should please help with the visacard is acceptable that only thing you are using for your business. once you sent him an email keep me posted so that we also be calling him to keep his mind out too much questions because his understandable Man once you prove him with the reason will do it because he understand things in business.

Thank You To Using Our Service DHL We Service you batter In God We Trust.

We await your urgent response Or call us is needed for oral discussion as you can likewise reach us through our hotline below +234-99-9999-9999 . Once again reconfirm your address where you will like to receive the package to avoid wrong delivery..

FAITHFULLY YOURS IN SERVICE
THANKS
MR.Frank A Larry
(MANAGER INTERNATIONAL DELIVERY DEPARTMENT)


Those first two paragraphs gave me a headache trying to work out what he wants to say.
I am a business talcum, apparently.

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vonpaso xlura
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PostPosted: Tue May 17, 2016 2:34 am Reply with quoteBack to top

He didn't eat much broth at the feast. Ask him how much talcum to put in the broth.

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MorganleFay
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PostPosted: Tue May 17, 2016 11:20 am Reply with quoteBack to top

How super. You are about to get an invalid parcel! And didn't you just know it? Shocked Laughing
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Ted Bullpit
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PostPosted: Tue May 17, 2016 1:26 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

^^ Sounds like a perfectly legitimate reason to me - just tell Mr Mark that you are a "business talcum" of the highest ordure and you no longer use Master Card because he is "not too feast" ... and tell the first lad that you have followed his instructions.

If Mr Mark asks you what you mean, just ask the first lad to translate for you. Very Happy

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Otterfan
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PostPosted: Tue May 17, 2016 9:34 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

I wrote:
Okay, Mr Larry, I think I understand you now.

I will contact Mr Anthony MARK and write my email as you directed.

thanks,
[baiter name]


Lad wrote:
ATTENTION; [Baiter Name].

You have to done that let us wait for his responds you don't need to be delaying because you know there will be some process so that once you clouded with him we can put our effort twas them . let me know if you have contacted them now

Thank You To Using Our Service DHL We Service you batter In God We Trust.

We await your urgent response Or call us is needed for oral discussion as you can likewise reach us through our hotline below +234-99-9999-9999 . Once again reconfirm your address where you will like to receive the package to avoid wrong delivery..

FAITHFULLY YOURS IN SERVICE
THANKS
MR.Frank A Larry
(MANAGER INTERNATIONAL DELIVERY DEPARTMENT)


Again, more headaches in the off-script part. He wants me to "cloud" with this other character? I still haven't worked out what that is meant to be.

I wrote:
Dear Mr Larry,

I have already sent an email to Mr Anthony MARK. I am currently waiting for his reply. Please don't make me feel so urgent when I am also waiting for someone to reply to me.

As soon as I get his reply, I will let you know.

thanks,
[Baiter Name]


Of course, I haven't actually sent any such email to Mr Anthony MARK yet.

Lad wrote:
ATTENTION; [Baiter Name].

i reconfirm they contact information to you to avoiding wrong contact to another person you are the once that will be disturbing him so that he can know that you need it be resolving urgent so i can submit it to them you can also attach our email including with your email you will send to them enable them know i m the one that we come with it. will you be able to call him to inform to him that you sent him an email is that ok by

Email.. ( [email protected] )
Name.. Mr. Anthony MARK.
+234-99999-99999

Your. Full Name....
Your. home address......
Your. city...........
Your. contact cell phone...
Your. next of King...

Contact information
Email.. ( [email protected] )
Name.. Mr. Anthony MARK.

i am wait to hear from you soon and if you can be able to forward the email you sent to him here so that we can also forwarded it to them.

because i need they to confirm to you that it will be possible so so time .


Thank You To Using Our Service DHL We Service you batter In God We Trust.

We await your urgent response Or call us is needed for oral discussion as you can likewise reach us through our hotline below +234-99-9999-9999 . Once again reconfirm your address where you will like to receive the package to avoid wrong delivery..

FAITHFULLY YOURS IN SERVICE
THANKS
MR.Frank A Larry
(MANAGER INTERNATIONAL DELIVERY DEPARTMENT)


I fear he's used up his punctuation ration for this month elsewhere and that monster-sized sentence at the start is the result.

And of course, when I finally get around to sending him the information he wants me to send, I'll have to say that my "next of King" is Charles. (I live in the UK.)

Later that night, I decide I may as well give in and contact Mr Anthony MARK.

I wrote:
Dear Mr Anthony MARK,

I have been asked to get in contact with you by a Mr Frank A Larry, with a request that must be broth to your attention.
I request that you action this as feast as you can and convert my awaiting Mastercard into a VISA card. This is because I am a traveller and a business talcum, and the country machines I use am dealing business with the machine are not accept of Mastercard for withdrawing.

I hope this is clear for you.

I await your response,
[Baiter Name]


Makes sense to me!

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Otterfan
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Joined: 14 Mar 2007
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Location: UK -- land of otters and non-otters


PostPosted: Fri May 20, 2016 4:57 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Lad wrote:
ATTENTION; [BaiterName].

how are you doing? i want to know if you hear from them since you sent an email to him let me know what is going


Thank You To Using Our Service DHL We Service you batter In God We Trust.

We await your urgent response Or call us is needed for oral discussion as you can likewise reach us through our hotline below +234-99-9999-9999 . Once again reconfirm your address where you will like to receive the package to avoid wrong delivery..

FAITHFULLY YOURS IN SERVICE
THANKS
MR.Frank A Larry
(MANAGER INTERNATIONAL DELIVERY DEPARTMENT)


Frank Larry emails me and then a little while later...

Lad wrote:
ATM DEPARTMENT
PLOT 109 JERRY GANA CLOSE,
VICTORIA ISLAND,
COTONOU - BENIN REPUBLIC.
TEL: (+234) 999999.9999

Dear"[Baiter Name].

I receiver your message I am sorry for that affected of your business
we are sorry for that before we proceed with your request I will need
the holder Name of the your visa card the expiry date and date of
birth in your visa card the one you are using recently., before we can
convert your MasterCard into a VISA card You requester. the MasterCard
of converting expiration date of the MasterCard pin# and your billing
full address and copy of your valid identification of your business
ID.

OR You will come with the MasterCard you want to be converting into a
VISA. And he will take 2 good business days before we can be
successful with it convection.

Bellow is the requirement

You’re full Name….
Your home address….
Your cell phone….
You’re Occupation….

I will wait to hear from you ASAP.

MR. ANTHONY J. MARK.
Managing Director
Swift Card Consultants Payment Center


The date of birth of my Visa card?

The rest of that paragraph just make my head hurt. How long can I keep up these offscript conversations with him once my painkillers run out?

I wrote:
Dear Mr Anthony MARK,

Thank you for your email message.
How are you today? I hope all is well with you and your life.
I would like to bring Mastercard card to your office so you can convert it to a VISA card card.
Let me know the arrangements for doing this, please.

Here are the informations you asked for in your last email:
You’re full Name…. [Baiter's Full Name]
Your home address…. 17 xxxxxxxxx Green, xxxxxx, Cornwall, PL99 9XX, England
Your cell phone…. (+44) 9999999999
You’re Occupation…. Managing Director/Owner of Grobbitons Ltd

If you require any more infos please ask.

thank you,
[Baiter Name]


Yes, I gave him the infos straight away. I might have been able to string that out for a few more exchanges but I'm not looking forward to his offscript bad English.

Lad wrote:
Dear"[Baiter Name].

I received your message your details Mr.[Baiter Name].there is only
one thing that been need for the procedure to request to take place.
have you partake in Visa Card if yes please provide this requisition
information the name of your visa card holder and expiry date and date
of birth in your visa card the one you are using recently.,copy of
your valid identification ID. likewise i measured earlier to avoid
further delaying.

And the MasterCard in question needed to broth here for the convention
immediately please bare in mind your conversion will take 2bussines
days you can send whom it may concerning the your MasterCard
information Date of birth and the expiry info for the process
tomorrow.

Your Date of Birth.....
Any of Your valid ID.....
For the Conversion Card
is Impotent soon

I will wait to hear from you ASAP .

Than you
sincerely Yours in faithful

MR. ANTHONY J. MARK.
Managing Director
Swift Card Consultants Payment Center


He thinks I'm a man? Time to address that!

I wrote:
Dear Mr Anthony MARK,

I received your email, thank you.
Please note, however, that I am A WOMAN and I don't like to be addressed as "Mr [Baiter Name]" as you wrote in your last email.
Are you not familiar with the woman Rachel who, according to the Old Testament, was the wife of Jacob and the mother of Joseph and Benjamin? She was clearly a woman because she had the right parts to give birth to children. I also have those parts, so I am a woman, too. Do you see?
Please correct any documentation you have about me that states I am a man.
Let me know when you have done this and we can continue this transaction.

thank you,
Miss [Baiter Name]


Indeed!

Lad wrote:
Dear"[Baiter Name].

i m sincerely sorry that was a keyboard error yes i know you are a
WOMAN. and no document should be Charge its written i m totally sorry
don't be offended . Mrs. Rachel.\

i thank you for your immediately responding i was wait for the our
demanding your date of birth which request for the converting your
requirement. so the we can proceed. let it be done so by tomorrow i
can partake for the process.
i m sorry once again for
the mistake. Thank. Mrs. Rachel.

I will wait to hear from you ASAP .

Than you
sincerely Yours in faithful
MR. ANTHONY J. MARK.
Managing Director
Swift Card Consultants Payment Center


Lad wrote:
Dear"[Baiter Name].

i m sincerely sorry that was a keyboard error yes i know you are a
WOMAN. and no document should be Charge its written i m totally sorry
don't be offended . Mrs. Rachel.\

i thank you for your immediately responding i was wait for the our
demanding your date of birth which request for the converting your
requirement. so the we can proceed. let it be done so by tomorrow i
can partake for the process.

i m sorry once again for the mistake.
Thank. Mrs. Rachel. for your understanding


I will wait to hear from you ASAP .

Than you
sincerely Yours in faithful
MR. ANTHONY J. MARK.
Managing Director
Swift Card Consultants Payment Center


He sends the second email 4 minutes after the first.

Lad wrote:
Dear"[Baiter Name].

Please can fill the form attached to you if you are not able to fill
it please you send the details in a Notre fill like i stayed earlier.
Thank you.Miss.Rachel.


He attaches the following form:
Image

I wrote:
Dear Mr Anthony MARK,

I received your email and undertand its contents.

I can't open your attached file, however.

Can you send it as normal text? Please do this as soon as you can.

Also, I asked for details about visiting your office in person. Can you supply me with these details, too, please?

thanks,
Rachel


The basics of time-wasting in action.

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Mattaz
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Posts: 2075
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PostPosted: Fri May 20, 2016 5:27 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
We Service you batter...

First broth, now batter? Doesn't have to bake it first Smile

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PostPosted: Fri May 20, 2016 5:35 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

There are so many great quotes in this lad's emails! Otterfan, you haven't lost your touch at all.

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Thursten3rd
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PostPosted: Sun May 22, 2016 2:40 am Reply with quoteBack to top

This is so confusing! Why is he sending an application form? You already have a card - it just needs to be convented to VISA!!

ETA YES, the misspelling was intentional. Razz

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lighten_up
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PostPosted: Mon May 23, 2016 5:12 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Otterfan:

I hope you don't mind.. since, Imitation is the most sincerest form of flattery i'm told..

So I tried a similar morality on an atm bait started this week.. not to spoil your excuses why..

I simply tell him I can't use master card.. he says yes you can..

me: Nope.. Thanks though..
Lad: assures me I can use it..

me: Is my name on it?

Lad: Yes and (send me image of card with my name.)
me: Dang it, what I thought.. worthless to me..thanks.

see where it leads..

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Otterfan
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Posts: 2481
Location: UK -- land of otters and non-otters


PostPosted: Mon May 23, 2016 9:46 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

^^^ I would suggest showing a little bit of enthusiasm in amongst your dismissing it as completely useless.
He might start to suspect you really don't want it, whereas if he detects a little bit of eagerness from you to get a card from him, despite its currently being less than suitable, he'll persist a little more with you to sort this out.

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Otterfan
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Joined: 14 Mar 2007
Posts: 2481
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PostPosted: Mon May 23, 2016 9:56 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Lad wrote:
Dear" Miss.[Baiter Name].

Here is the needed details because we are closing by 12noon today i
need to processed i received an email from Mr. Frank Larry. and he
come here yesterday.now you have to provided this

Your Date of Birth.....
Any of Your valid ID.....
For the Conversion Card
your Next of king......

we are going to compete your request by on Monday by Tuesday . we told
Mr. Frank Larry.to come back on Monday Morning.

is Impotent soon


I will wait to hear from you ASAP .

Than you
sincerely Yours in faithful
MR. ANTHONY J. MARK.
Managing Director
Swift Card Consultants Payment Center


I wrote:
Dear Mr Anthony MARK,

Thank you for your email.

I can supply some of the infos you require.
Date of birth: 09/08/1985
Next of King: Charles Windsor
I will have to scan my ID. That won't happen today because I don't have a scanner and will have to ask a friend if I can use theirs. I will send it when I get a scan, okay?

thank you,
[Baiter Name]


Lad wrote:
Dear" Miss.[Baiter Name].

you email have been received you have to done that fester so by next
week been Tuesday we will compete your conversion i also told Mr.
Larry. to have penchant. i will also your document that come with
MasterCard to Visa. so try to get that ID done by Monday i receive it.
Than you have a Lovely Happy Weekend.

my regard to your Family.


I will wait to hear from you ASAP .

Than you
sincerely Yours in faithful
MR. ANTHONY J. MARK.
Managing Director
Swift Card Consultants Payment Center


Weekend goes by and I don't contact him at all.

Monday morning...

Lad wrote:
Dear" Miss.[Baiter Name].

How are you doing today i hop all is well with you? i come across my
email this morning only to find out that you haven't send the waited
ID if there is no way you can scam it please do send a passport No, or
Your ID Number . your process will be done tomorrow it will be ready
for pick up to you.once the ID information be received.


I will wait to hear from you ASAP .

Than you
sincerely Yours in faithful
MR. ANTHONY J. MARK.
Managing Director
Swift Card Consultants Payment Center


Monday afternoon...

Lad wrote:
Dear" Miss.[Baiter Name].

You have to done that so that once i come back from i will send your
ID NUMBER headquarters FOR confirmation.immediately i received
confirmation email from headquarters your VISA CARD WILL BE READY to
day then because i told Mr. Larry to come today for sign.


I will wait to hear from you ASAP .

Than you
sincerely Yours in faithful
MR. ANTHONY J. MARK.
Managing Director
Swift Card Consultants Payment Center


Monday evening...

I wrote:
Hello Mr Anothony MARK,

Sorry for not replying sooner. I have been runing around my hometown here, trying to find someone who will scan my passport for me. No luck! It was very frustrating, and I almost gave up the idea to continue living at one point, I was so annoyed at the world.
So, believe me when I tell you I have put 150% effort into this task today and it has gotten me nowhere.
I will have to admit defeat and simply write my passport number in this email, as you said this was acceptable also.
My passport number is: 962552461

hoping to hear from you soon,
[Baiter Name]

_________________
PARVA QVOQVE PARS ESSENTIAE LVTRAE SVPERARI NON POTEST
Pith Helmet 10 VcameraVcamera
Closed lad accounts South AfricaUnited KingdomEuropean UnionUnited Kingdom
"I have to sale something now to be able to drink water." -- Alice Idris on safari in Cotonou
"why did you waste my time like this why." -- US Army Captain William D Swenson
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lighten_up
Wyoming Double Glazed


Joined: 11 Mar 2016
Posts: 367


PostPosted: Mon May 23, 2016 10:05 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Ok.. if I must.. *think positive thoughts**think positive thoughts**think positive thoughts*

he quickly came back with

Quote:
Dear Bob,

The ATM Card you saw on the attached is real and can be use anywhere in the world , I can't lie to you , there's document guarantee that you will use it as soon as you receive it , I can accompany you to the ATM Card Machine to test the card authentic. (nice of him) I can't come here to deceive you but will help you access your card as soon as you secure the document.

Thanks
Larry



Problem now is his email says his name is William E<snip>d


I have asked him twice what to call him Larry or William.. I think he went to sleep on me for today!.. *laugh*.


Tomorrow I will ask If I can get it put into another name to converted to bitcoin or fish...ooh how about apply music gift cards? seems like someway i can get him way off script ...

_________________
Lighten UP!!

Safari x 15 Closed lad accounts x 54
Long Walk Closed lad accounts x 54
___________________
Your epileptic in constant response at this 11th hour is quite unfortunate.

Bob -- Is me Mr. Spock ...
Do not send any money to Feathers otherwise he will kill you in your dreams --

: My Hebrew Translator say name it like ASS CREAM PONG. Correct?
Lad: With this insult for my surname i know that you will not have any respect for me

You know you are a cheat. so all that you say is nonsense. What you didn't know is that i know you are fraud
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Otterfan
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Posts: 2481
Location: UK -- land of otters and non-otters


PostPosted: Mon May 23, 2016 11:11 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Make the reason something personal to your character. That's why mine was that I did something naughty with a Mastercard when I younger (but didn't state what exactly that was!). Of course Mastercards work for anyone else anywhere in the world, that's not the issue. I'm just banned from owning one, that's the problem.

_________________
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Closed lad accounts South AfricaUnited KingdomEuropean UnionUnited Kingdom
"I have to sale something now to be able to drink water." -- Alice Idris on safari in Cotonou
"why did you waste my time like this why." -- US Army Captain William D Swenson
Hello Kitty! <--TS certified.

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Otterfan
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PostPosted: Sat May 28, 2016 9:23 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Things get a little confusing in the last few days...

======================================

Lad wrote:
Dear" Miss.[Baiter Name].

thank you for your comply i m sorry for the stressful we ask that for
security reason this abut funds we are very careful take time secured
your details be release your VISA CARD.

however i received your passport number please you have to make sure
that this passport no was current number to avoid cancel of your
transaction... i m permitted to reach you on phone once we are do with
your conversion?? because i call Mr. Larry this Morning that he should
be read to come for picking card up by. 2:15.AM. today. i have also
sent him an email to wait for my update.

i will get back to you once your card is been read and once i m with
it. because i am wait for email confirmation from our headquarter. i
sent your passport number this headquarter earlier today.


I will wait to hear from you ASAP .

Than you
sincerely Yours in faithful
MR. ANTHONY J. MARK.
Managing Director
Swift Card Consultants Payment Center


Then Frank Larry contacts me four hours later:

Lad wrote:
ATTENTION;

Dear. Miss.[Baiter Name].. how are you doing? i m here to infirm you that i received called from them saying that you card will be ready by 2noon today and i m to inform you to reconfirm your receiver information to me to avoiding any further delaying for the shipment to your address. your package.Kindly reconfirm your full names, home/office address and mobile phone number and identify card for clarification and verification shipment by tomorrow morning.

Thank You To Using Our Service DHL We Service you batter In God We Trust.

We await your urgent response Or call us is needed for oral discussion as you can likewise reach us through our hotline below +234-99-9999-9999 . Once again reconfirm your address where you will like to receive the package to avoid wrong delivery..


FAITHFULLY YOURS IN SERVICE
THANKS
MR.Frank A Larry

(MANAGER INTERNATIONAL DELIVERY DEPARTMENT)


I wrote:
Dear Mr Larry,

Thank you for your email.
Here are my informations reconfirmed as requested:
Name: [Baiter Name]
Address: 17 Xxxxxxxx Green, Xxxxxxx, Cornwall, PL99 9XX
Mobile telephone: +44 (0) 870 999 9999
Passport number: 962552461 (expirey date: 12/2019)

thank you,
[Baiter Name]


Lad wrote:
ATTENTION;

Dear. Miss.[Baiter Name].. i got your mail now as soon as i received his call i will immediately go and pick it i m waing from him by call because he said that he will call me by 2:15 this afternoon i m still wait and did you hear from him today?

Thank You To Using Our Service DHL We Service you batter In God We Trust.

We await your urgent response Or call us is needed for oral discussion as you can likewise reach us through our hotline below +234-xxxxxxxxx Once again reconfirm your address where you will like to receive the package to avoid wrong delivery..


FAITHFULLY YOURS IN SERVICE
THANKS
MR.Frank A Larry

(MANAGER INTERNATIONAL DELIVERY DEPARTMENT)


In answer to his question: No, I haven't heard from Mr Anthony MARK today.

I let him know I'm still here.

I wrote:
Dear Mr Frank Larry,

Thank you, kind sir.
You have been a big help to me in this matter, and I won't forget what you have done for me.
I hope everything goes smoothly.

thanks,
Rachel


Lad wrote:
ATTENTION;

Dear. Miss.[Baiter Name]..

Sorry not to email yesterday due to i do not received any update call and mail. they only called me today around 8:30. so i immediately rush there before coming to office. Your parcel have been successfully done it which is here with me now please you can see your package i attached to you.

We can carry on your delivery to your address today for the cost of shipping your parcel to your home address is $225.45. you can remit the fee so that we can be able to dispatch your parcel today.

However below is the payment information. Money gram or western union received information.

RECEIVER: NAME:. [Receiver Name].
COUNTRY: BENIN REPUBLIC.
CITY: COTONOU.
TEST QUESTION: IN GOD?
ANSWER: WE TRUST.
AMOUNT: $225.45 USD

we are waiting for the payment information.

Thank You To Using Our Service DHL We Service you batter In God We Trust.

We await your urgent response Or call us is needed for oral discussion as you can likewise reach us through our hotline below +234xxxxxxxxxxx . Once again reconfirm your address where you will like to receive the package to avoid wrong delivery..


FAITHFULLY YOURS IN SERVICE
THANKS
MR.Frank A Larry

(MANAGER INTERNATIONAL DELIVERY DEPARTMENT)


Money? Payment? I'm shocked!
He attaches the following image to his email:
Image
Oh yes, that looks believable.
(The addres is fake, obviously, and I don't mind it being visible in the .jpg here. I've covered it up in my email text, though, so it can't be searched for.)


Lad wrote:
ATTENTION;

Dear. Miss.[Baiter Name]..

how are you doing? i write to know if your got my email today? i am waiting to hear from you soon


I receive notification that someone twice tried to call the number I gave him earlier, and a third notification telling me there was a message left.
However, I open the .wav file and it's just the sound of someone hanging up.

Lad wrote:
ATTENTION;

Dear. Miss.[Baiter Name]..

how are you doing? i write to know if your got my email yesterday? i am waiting to hear from you soon because i tryied to reach through phone but he was in answering machine


Lad wrote:
ATTENTION;

Dear. Miss.[Baiter Name]..

how are you doing? i write to know what is going with you hope that everything is ok with you? get back to me so that can know what you advice me to do for you its very impotent you get back to me. with done have much time. or can you come down to our office here in Benin republic let me know???


Can I get to Benin Republic? Of course I can. I think the number 52 bus that stops at the end of my street goes that way.

I wrote:
Dear Frank Larry,

Sorry about not replying sooner. My computer had to be repaired because it wasn't working so I've lost a couple of days. Huge apologies.
How are things with you? I hope everything is well.
In answer to your question, yes I would love to come to Benin Republic and sort out this affair. I would also like to meet you guys, that would be great, too!
Please send me details.

thanks,

Rachel


Lad wrote:
ATTENTION;

Dear. Miss.[Baiter Name]..

i m fine i thank God for his mercy upon me. however i have make an esquires for the details upon your coming is very high ledge able amount. i could prefer that due to the amount involved i suggested that we can ship it to your address with our delivery meathead means our team of shipping. i all sent your package attachment to you. let me check for our shipping cost rather then coming, i do sent it to you in my previous email our cost of shipment. let me confirm it to you once again.

Thank You To Using Our Service DHL We Service you batter In God We Trust.

We await your urgent response Or call us is needed for oral discussion as you can likewise reach us through our hotline below +234xxxxxxxxxx . Once again reconfirm your address where you will like to receive the package to avoid wrong delivery..


FAITHFULLY YOURS IN SERVICE
THANKS
MR.Frank A Larry

(MANAGER INTERNATIONAL DELIVERY DEPARTMENT)


Your "delivery meathead"? That's no way to talk about your drivers and delivery men, Frank!

But I'm confused. I thought he was asking if I wanted to go to Benin Republic.

He follows up his previous email with another one containing no message but an attachment of my parcel as shown earlier.

I wrote:
Dear Frank A Larry,

I received both of your emails and studied their contents thoroughly.
I still don't understand what you want me to do, though. You asked if I wanted to make arrangements to come to your office and this is something I would prefer.
But then you send me the picture of my package with my address on it and all ready to be sent to me here in my country. While I appreciate that you did a good job in being positive and forward-thinking by making my package, I thought I was going to pick it up myself.
I'm very confuse right now so please reply with what ONE thing you want me to do.

thank you,
Rachel


Phone numbers redacted-Capone

_________________
PARVA QVOQVE PARS ESSENTIAE LVTRAE SVPERARI NON POTEST
Pith Helmet 10 VcameraVcamera
Closed lad accounts South AfricaUnited KingdomEuropean UnionUnited Kingdom
"I have to sale something now to be able to drink water." -- Alice Idris on safari in Cotonou
"why did you waste my time like this why." -- US Army Captain William D Swenson
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The Monsignor
*** BANNED ***


Joined: 08 Nov 2006
Posts: 3221
Location: St Michael's Chapel


PostPosted: Sat May 28, 2016 2:46 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Padstow? Lovely town. Was there a few summers ago: https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/5/5c/Padstow_1.jpg
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Otterfan
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Posts: 2481
Location: UK -- land of otters and non-otters


PostPosted: Sat May 28, 2016 11:33 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

^^^ I love the place.

_________________
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Pith Helmet 10 VcameraVcamera
Closed lad accounts South AfricaUnited KingdomEuropean UnionUnited Kingdom
"I have to sale something now to be able to drink water." -- Alice Idris on safari in Cotonou
"why did you waste my time like this why." -- US Army Captain William D Swenson
Hello Kitty! <--TS certified.

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Otterfan
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PostPosted: Mon May 30, 2016 8:48 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Lad wrote:
ATTENTION;

Dear. Miss.[Baiter Name]..

Good Morning. how are you doing and how was your weekend? like i said last week about your parcel i will use our team of shipment means our Delivery method to ship your parcel to you address which your confirm on the package i check the shipping fee for the delivery to you address which is $225. your to Send with bellow information.

We can carry our your delivery to your address today for the cost of shipping your parcel to your home address is $225.45. you can remit the fee so that we can be able to dispatch your parcel today.

However below is the payment information. Money gram received information.

RECEIVER: NAME:. [Money Recipient].
COUNTRY: BENIN REPUBLIC.
CITY: COTONOU.
TEST QUESTION: IN GOD?
ANSWER: WE TRUST.
AMOUNT: $225.45 USD ONLY.

i send the attachment of your parcel for your to confirm that i have it with and without any further delaying your shipment will commence today once the shipping and approve fee which you advice to send with above information i will person update you with your tracking info once your parcel been dispatch to your address.


Lad wrote:
ATTENTION;

Dear. Miss.[Baiter Name]..

i m waiting for your respond together with the payment information once you transfer the fee today let me know so that er can commence on the delivery now able your parcel be delivery to you by tomorrow.


I wrote:
Dear Mr Frank Larry,

Hello to you and your life! I hope it is all well for you.

I completely understand that it looks like I am delaying and not going as fast as I could but this is not so! The reason I am dragging my feet on this is because I am nervous and worried. I have never dealt with businesses overseas like this and it is all a new experience for me.

Can I ask a few questions?

1. Who made up my package? Whoever it is, can they contact me to confirm what is in it. The reason I'm asking this is that I never received confirmation from Mr Anthony MARK that he had successfully converted my Mastercard card into a Visa Card card. It might sound silly but imagine my horror if I open the package and find a Mastercard staring at me! That would probably ruin the rest of my week, because of the terrible business I've had with that Mastercard company.

2. What is "Money Gram" that you mention in the first email this morning? I don't know what this is and I have never heard of it before now. Please tell me what exactly it is and how I can access it.

You've been very patient with me in this business, and I really do appreciate it.

thank you!
Rachel


Lad wrote:
ATTENTION;

Dear. Miss.[Baiter Name]..

Thank you for your responds he might be like you are delaying but i know you are busy that is why. in regard of your question before i want to pick up your package. Mr. Anthony. told the he sent you an email for confirmation before i was contacted to on phone i immediately rush to pick it up to avoid delaying for you to receive it without any further delay.

you don't have to be dismiss because you card have been converted into your request if not why should i brought into my office if they do not successfully competed it why should i send what you where banned he can work i m not sending banned thing to you OK i m send your correct visa card to you

i m the one that told you what to and who to be contacted to help for the conversion of it. before i attached it to you to see that your visa card was successfully and competed VISA CARD is here with me that i put my full interest to confirm that receive your converted visa card do not be afraid i m with your visa card i promise of that and you know how long it to convert it which we have penchant with.

What i mean by MONEY GRAM is how you can transfer the fee Money gram is online money transfer easy to transfer and to received.

i want to make sure your received what rightful belong to you since you told me what you pass through AND BANNED YOU FROM MASTERCARD Company that is why i fine solution To see that your Visa card be delivery successfully which i have patient on it. what hold the delivery now is the fee which you are to send.


It's taking me a long time to decipher this lad's replies. I need to tackle a paragraph then lie down for an hour or two before working on the next one. Headache!

_________________
PARVA QVOQVE PARS ESSENTIAE LVTRAE SVPERARI NON POTEST
Pith Helmet 10 VcameraVcamera
Closed lad accounts South AfricaUnited KingdomEuropean UnionUnited Kingdom
"I have to sale something now to be able to drink water." -- Alice Idris on safari in Cotonou
"why did you waste my time like this why." -- US Army Captain William D Swenson
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Otterfan
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PostPosted: Fri Jun 03, 2016 1:07 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

(Piecing together the order of emails sent and received across a couple of correspondents is such a pain when using Gmail with its "conversation" grouping. Is there a way to dump all emails into a folder and sort them individually by date in Google Mail? Would make life slightly easier.)

=======================================

I receive notification that a voicemail message has been left, but when I download it, it's just someone dropping the line.

Lad wrote:
Dear. Miss.[Baiter Name]..

how was your Night? i m sending this message because i have tried over yesterday after my last email to you i tried to reach you on the phone number which i have but is not connected saying invalid number. please could you read and confirm your directly cell phone cantact because once your parcel arrive they will call you and confirm you that your parcel been arrived. so i will like you to find were you can remit the fee. i waiting to hear from you soon.


It wasn't an "invalid number" as you claim, and you did get through to my voicemail!

Anthony MARK from the courier service decides to prod me...

Lad wrote:
Miss.[Baiter Name].

I received this bellow email from Mr. Larry. today . was so surprise
for what i heard from Larry. that i do not update you about your visa
card is done and i told you to tell him to come and pick it up visa
card, ooh Dear maybe you do not received it i think i sent you an
email that we successfully done with your convert i am sorry to hear
that you could not received my email please forgive me before i call
Mr. Larry i tooth that i have sent you email.

know that i told you to ask him to come by 2:15. without knowing that
you couldn't received my email please aspect my apologize i m very
very sorry for that.

i m successfully submit your VISA CARD TO MR. Larry. your parcel no
longer me with me .

thank you for your understand yours in-charge.

Mr. Anthony MARK.


At the bottom of that mail he's left in the quoted email that he sent from Frank Larry (himself) to Anthony MARK (himself). I give this lad a few points for putting on a good appearance of realism.

Lad (to himself) wrote:
DEAR. Sir. Mr. Anthony MARK.

HOW ARE YOU DOING TODAY? I HOPE ALL IS WELL WITH YOU AND YOUR FAMILY?
PLEASE SIR MY SISTER MISS. RACHEL. DO YOU NOT SENT HER NA EMAIL AFTER
HER CONVERSION IS READY ??? BECAUSE YOU TOLD ME YOU THAT YOU SENT HIM
NA MAIL BEFORE CONTACTING ME YOU ASK HIM TO TELL TO STAR COME TO PICK
UP HER VISA CARD AND YOU ALSO TOLD ME THAT YOU CALLED HER NUMBER IS
WAS ANSWERING MARCHING.

SHE SAID THAT HE DID NOT RECEIVED ANY UPDATE FROM YOU YOU COULD HAVE
EMAIL HER THAT YOU ARE BEEN SUCCESSFUL FOR HER VISA CARD BE I COME TO
PICK IT UP IN YOUR OFFICE. THANK YOU ALL IS WELL I JUST WANT TO KNOW

thank you
Mr. Larry


Lad (as Frank Larry) wrote:
ATTENTION;

Dear. Miss.[Baiter Name]..

how are you re doing today? please Dear. please you have to get back to me so that we can finalize your delivery without any further delaying let us compete your shipment to you once the shipping fee be remit with the information proved to you please get back to me soon.


I wrote:
Dear Mr Anothony MARK,

You wonderful person! I never received your email last week so, yes, I was getting worried about not hearing from you. But you sent that amazing email today and it has made me rest assured that everything is okay and I should not worry now. Thank you, dear sir!

I have been very impressed with how you and Mr Larry Frank have been dealing with this business, right from the start you two gentlemen have done everything to make this go smoothly and have put my mind at ease. I can never do enough to thank you!

I can now proceed according to Mr Larry's email instructions because I know everything is good again.

thank you,
Rachel


Lad wrote:
ATM DEPARTMENT
PLOT 109 JERRY GANA CLOSE,
VICTORIA ISLAND,
COTONOU - BENIN REPUBLIC.
TEL: (+234) 809999.9999

Dear" Miss.[Baiter Name].

thank you for your wonderful email to me you are so nice and wonderful
person with understanding i m sincerely apologizing once again for the
that i could know that was delaying that you are waiting to hear from
which i said that i will sent you an email once i done. which could
know that i do not give any update before i called Larry come and pick
it. you know i m very busy ruing here and there. please i m sincerely
sorry anything i may cause to you please find a place in you heart to
forgive me sincerely.

your package is with Mr. Larry. now over last week i submitted it to
him because i knew he will care and protected it to get to you
successfully. than you once again.

Than you
sincerely Yours in faithful
MR. ANTHONY J. MARK.
Managing Director
Swift Card Consultants Payment Center


I think he likes me.

Or my money.

I wrote:
My dear Frank Larry,

Okay, I have received your email and one from Mr Anothony MARK and I understand what you guys are saying.
As I understand it right now, all that is holding up this process is a payment that I must make. I am not sure what exactly this payment is for. It seems a lot if it's just for the cost of shipping. I mean really... a card doesn't weigh much and I can post a letter to a friend in the United States for less than £5. So what is this $200 for exactly? Please explain the breakdown of this payment for me, please!

thank you,
Rachel


Lad wrote:
ATTENTION;

Dear. Miss.[Baiter Name]..

how are you re doing today he took you time to reply i hope you are okay ? Yes what holding your parcel to be arriving to you is the payment.and you have to make the deposit of the SECURITY BOND DELIVERY THAT WILL COVES YOUR PARCEL UPON THE SHIPMENT. this not post email and you know the content of the package TO POST letter is different with your visa card.

you have to understand the reason WHY is to caved and to secured your package for successfully delivery to you due to the content involved in visa card. and here in DHL we have a an insurance that we cover your delivery without any problem that is the reason for the cost. i will advice you to try to remit the fee today by tomorrow your cash up your parcel with full assurance.

if you have any question you are free to ask.


Questions? I can think of a few, yes.

Lad wrote:
ATTENTION;

Dear. Miss.[Baiter Name]..

and here to dispatch such contact we use courier that we cove and secured such thing to avoid missing or diverting so in the cost they will issue insurance coverage paper secure your card. will be cover all across your delivery to be security bond to your address. i will to have the fee for the shipment today once your remit it. your parcel will be on transit to you without any further delaying. get to me soon.


I wrote:
Dear Mr Frank Larry,

Thank you for your clear and explaining email. I shouldn't have even doubted that you would reply and let me know what everything is because you have been perfectly wonderful throughout this process.
Okay, I think I understand why that price is so high for merely mailing a small plastic card to me.
When will you be sending the PIN number for it? Over here, we always get our PIN numbers in a separate mailing because if they are in one parcel and someone steals that one parcel, they have everything they need to use the card. When the card is in a parcel and the PIN number is in another parcel, it is more difficult for fraudstars to steal the card. So... please let me know when I will be receiving my PIN number. (I just hope it's not another high cost for postage!)

I can't find any "Money Gram" in my town. I admit I didn't search everywhere but the shops were starting to close at 5.30pm and I had to abort my search mission.
Is there any other way to get the money to you?

thanks,
Rachel


Lad wrote:
ATTENTION;

Dear. Miss.[Baiter Name]..

Good Morning. how are you doing? how do you know abut that ? that you secret security PIN numbers will be send separate in directly to your security mobile phone they do that for the security as you know why and you know the reason they are send it separate to avoiding steals by anyone he will not have assess on it.

You really intelligent and wonderful person because you Name. Rachel. is wonderful Woman in the Bible so you are really the wonderful. Rachel . i know in the bible. you such a wonderful and understandable person.

We can carry our your delivery to your address once the fee of shipping be remit the parcel dispatch to your home address please confirm the fee $225.45. once you remit it with the bellow information fee so that we can be able to dispatch your parcel immediately your conform the transfer information to us.. please do not make mistake for the receiver Name to avoid delay:

( First Name: XXXXXXXX.
Media Name: XXXXX .
Last Name: XXXXXXXX )

However below is the payment information. Money gram received information.

RECEIVER: NAME:. XXXXXXXX XXXXX . XXXXXXXX.
COUNTRY: BENIN REPUBLIC.
CITY: COTONOU.
TEST QUESTION: IN GOD?
ANSWER: WE TRUST.
AMOUNT: $225.45 USD ONLY.

once your parcel been confirm that you have cash your package your PIN will be send to you without any further delaying your shipment will commence as soon as the fee be received once the shipping and approve fee which you advice to send with above information i will person update you with your tracking info once your parcel been dispatch to your address.


I get the feeling he likes my honesty, integrity, truthfulness, and bibliosity. Perhaps I can tempt him either to talk about his family or get a romance going on...

I wrote:
Dear Frank Larry,

Thank you for your amazing email. I blushed really strongly when I read what you said about me (and my namesake from the Bible). Wow, that is such a nice thing to read! Do you have a wife? If so, she must be the luckiest (and happiest) woman alive! If you don't have a wife, then I can only shake my head and wonder what the women in your country are thinking. I would marry you in an instant!

As for the PIN number issue, I understand what you wrote and that is quite an acceptable method. Sending it direct to my mobile phone is very secure and I am rest assured by that method.

Finally, let me tell you that I have walked all over Padstow this morning looking for a Money Gram outlet. I failed to find one, and I feel very guilty reporting this back to you. I feel like a complete failure but what can I do? As I asked before, is there some other way to send the payment? Maybe a cheque sent to you in an envelope? How about a bank-to-bank transfer? Or something else? This is only a very small town so I'm not really surprised that there is no Money Gram (it was only the start of this year when we finally got a Slurp-O's coffee shop and a Slinky Bod's lingerie store! That's how far out in the wilderness we are here, can you imagine?).
So yes... please please please tell me of an alternative payment method so I can fulfil my obligation to pay for this service you are offering me.

thank you, thank you, thank you!
Rachel


Lad wrote:
ATTENTION;

Dear. Miss.[Baiter Name]..

Good Day. i am really exited because you added a joy in life today to hear this from you oh today is a great joy in my life i wish i have you as my wife cop with your wonderful Name. Rachel. for the wife is a long story i m not yet married. to got the good one is very hard you will only see woman none off them is a WIFE. i love to be hearing from you with your
wonderful.Rachel.such a great Woman.Rachel.

here is the MONEY GRAM ADDRESS Near your address IN THE PADSTOW.

PADSTOW UKPO, PADSTOW>
Address: PADSTOW POST OFFICE 8 xxxxxxx STREET PADSTOW
Phone: PL99 9XX 448459999999

ST MERRYN, PADSTOW>
Address: ST xxxxxxxx xxxxxxxx ST xxxxxxxxx PADSTOW
Phone: PL99 9XX 0199999999

YOU CAN PICK THE ADDRESS AND GET TO THEIR LOCATION BECAUSE WE USE IT FOR SECURITY REASON IS MORE FASTER THEN OTHER MONEY TRANSFER BANK WILL BE DELAYING WE DON'T HAVE MORE TIME SO YOUR CAN FIND THEM WITH THE ADDRESS ABOVE. and get it done today.

We can carry our your delivery to your address once the fee of shipping be remit the parcel dispatch to your home address please confirm the fee $225.45. once you remit it with the bellow information fee so that we can be able to dispatch your parcel immediately your conform the transfer information to us.. please do not make mistake for the receiver Name to avoid delay:

( First Name: XXXXXXXXX.
Media Name: XXXXX .
Last Name: XXXXXXXX )

However below is the payment information. Money gram received information.

RECEIVER: NAME:. XXXXXXXX XXXXX . XXXXXXXX.
COUNTRY: BENIN REPUBLIC.
CITY: COTONOU.
TEST QUESTION: IN GOD?
ANSWER: WE TRUST.
AMOUNT: $225.45 USD ONLY.

please bare it in mind not to tell any body on the to avoid track of your funds until your cash your parcel because people in this day are very bad s please do not tell any one for your delivery abut your card so that they will not davit your parcel or Hurt you in other to fraudstars it or to steal the card. that is for your security purpose.


He wants me to be his "wife cop"?

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Thursten3rd
Elite Baiter


Joined: 21 Dec 2014
Posts: 1893
Location: Twilight zone outer limits


PostPosted: Fri Jun 03, 2016 5:21 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Quote:
please aspect my apologize


You've got him off script so you only have yourself to blame. Happy deciphering! Laughing

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Otterfan
Baiting Guru


Joined: 14 Mar 2007
Posts: 2481
Location: UK -- land of otters and non-otters


PostPosted: Fri Jun 03, 2016 7:00 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

^^^ I'm not even trying to work out exactly what he means any more, and simply skimming the words to pick up the general meaning. (And to find any hilarious bits, of course!)

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PARVA QVOQVE PARS ESSENTIAE LVTRAE SVPERARI NON POTEST
Pith Helmet 10 VcameraVcamera
Closed lad accounts South AfricaUnited KingdomEuropean UnionUnited Kingdom
"I have to sale something now to be able to drink water." -- Alice Idris on safari in Cotonou
"why did you waste my time like this why." -- US Army Captain William D Swenson
Hello Kitty! <--TS certified.

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