The Eric & Franklin Saga (Hilts/UZUMBO chop page 24)

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Posted: Thu Jun 02, 2016 3:00 pm

^^^My only advice, Mr. L, is to ask as many pointed questions as possible, with the instruction that short answers will result in more questions.

Posted: Thu Jun 02, 2016 9:53 pm

Mr. Labowski wrote:

If anyone has ideas for some good questions to include feel free to submit them here or send me a PM.

Mr L, I suggest that you use only open questions, unless you want a string of 'Yes/No' responses. Start each question with one of these 6 words:

Quote:

Why...
How...
What...
Where...
When...
Who...

The first 3 are the most powerful. Also, best to avoid closing off an open question with a closed question, eg, 'How did you feel? Were you sad?'.

Master Baiter Joined: 17 Jun 2007 Posts: 142

I'd point out that should Britain vote to leave the EU, this may adversely affect the amount on offer, as such which way would they vote given the chance?

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

The Monsignor wrote:

Mr L, I suggest that you use only open questions, unless you want a string of 'Yes/No' responses. Start each question with one of these 6 words:

Quote:

Why...
How...
What...
Where...
When...
Who...

I would recommend that you ask it exactly like that.

Why?

How?

What?

etc...

Posted: Thu Jun 02, 2016 11:18 pm

It can be fun to toss in some random wacko questions here and there:

a few questions from a questionnaire I put together years ago wrote:

20. Do you believe in God?
21. Does God believe in you?
22. (THIS QUESTION INTENTIONALLY LEFT BLANK.)

39. Have you ever had pre-marital sex? If so, why?

48. Have you ever talked to God?
49. Do you find Him to be impartial?
50. Did He ask you about your family?
51. What color hair does He have?
52. Which is your favorite Apostle, Peter or Judas?

72. Have you ever been dead?
73. What is the answer to Question 9?

76. Do you sometimes take articles which, strictly speaking, do not belong to you?

81. What is your least likeable characteristic?

85. Did you tell the truth when you answered Question 73?

88. What is your favorite color?
89. What is God’s favorite color?

114. Would you consider yourself physically appealing to the opposite sex?
115. Would you consider yourself physically appealing to the same sex?

121. Why didn’t you answer Question 95?
122. What would you have answered if it had been there?

134. What is your favorite commercially-produced dentifrice?

143. Have you ever taken Viagra or Cialis?
144. Would God approve of either?
145. Would God prefer one more than the other?
146. Which one, and why?
147. Do you have erectile disfunction?
148. If so, is it due to religious beliefs or a physical defect?

165. What is your favorite alcoholic beverage?
166. Do you ever drink it to excess?
167. Do you take drugs?
168. Could someone else consider that you were really ugly?

182. How inferior are you?
183. Are you embarrassed by a hearty greeting such as a kiss, hug, or a quick blowjob, if done in public?
184. Do you have many homosexual friends?

188. Is the idea of death or even reminders of death abhorrent to you?
189. Have you ever been dead?
190. Does death seem rather vague and unreal to you?
191. Was your answer to Question 189 the same as Question 72? If not, why not?
193. Do you know the meaning of the word “Modalities”?

195. If someone stole from you, would you feel justified in smiting them?
196. What is your favorite method of smiteification?
197. Have you ever been smited yourself?
198. Did you deserve it?
199. Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near?

Posted: Thu Jun 02, 2016 11:26 pm

^^^ love the questions. Very creative.

Posted: Fri Jun 03, 2016 12:41 am

How about asking if he's taken Havidol? (fictional drug)

Posted: Fri Jun 03, 2016 3:45 am

It would also help to have the lads provide sketches of some of the places where they stood around and waited. The mosque, for example, and that Mall...what was it called?

Posted: Fri Jun 03, 2016 4:11 am

The lad explains how much he is requesting, and gives some more details of his journey:

Quote:

Thank you for your response and I'm very sorry for the late reply. I appreciate your efforts and your time in this matter. We've already accepted to receive the $40,000 dollars, the GPS promised to compensate us for the package. As you said in your previous email a few days ago, that GPS prepared to offer both of us with a compensation of $40,000.00 dollars for the package and you also said that the GPS will continue to do their best to locate the package and have it delivered to us.

We have accepted the GPS offer because we don't have any options after we passed through stressed to collect the package in our failed trips (I always love a desperate lad). To be honest with you, Mr. Dan Hamilton always update us on his beloved wife health condition at the hospital and we are scared about Betty's health condition, because Mr. Dan Hamilton always mentioned that is the stress she passed through on the wrong delivery of the package that puts his beloved wife Betty in that situation, due to too much thinking about the package.

I emailed Mr. Dan Hamilton to know about the offer, that GPS promised to compensate both of us with the sum of $40,000 dollars to sort out the issue, so that he will encourage his beloved wife Betty that everything will be sorted out soonest. Mr. Dan Hamilton responded back that he appreciate your efforts, but he suggested that $57,000.00 dollars is more fair offer than $40,000.00 dollars for what we suffered to collect the package for over five mouths now. Mr. Roger! I want you to understand me at this point, because Mr Moses Malone emailed me when i'm in Maiduguri, Nigeria that he surrendered the package to Mr. Dennis Rodman, the CEO of GPS company.

As the case maybe, we appreciate your ideas in this matter, because we really want to sort out everything once and for all without any problems in the future. I hope you will understand my point, because we really want to finalize the issue in time without delay.

Regarding your question about sex, what i mean that we don't have sex to each other in the Republic of Ghana. I have not set my eyes to man and man sexing to each other here, but man and woman can have sex when they are legally married. (He's just giving me more material here, but I'm going to let this slide for now)

Regarding the details of our hardship in our failed trips you requested us to provide more what we passed through in Cote d' Ivoire and Nigeria. I have already sent you the details what happened in our failed trip in my previous emails and my father died in a heart attack why he was thinking of the stressed we are facing in Korhrogo, because I’m the only son of my late father.

Kindly check the attached file and you will see the pictures of what happened to me in Korhrogo Cote d Ivoire. I was seriously sick in Korhrogo, because of the stressed we passed through in Cote d Ivoire. I also attached the hospital card with the receipt and the picture we snapped in Maiduguri Nigeria, when we are frustrating in Maiduguri. (I'm always amused when he says it like this)

I want you to understand that we didn't collect receipt of our lodges, where we accommodated ourselves for the past months on our failed trips, due to how stressed off we was. If the GPS will consider us with amount of $57,000.00 dollars for the package, our expense and the hardship we passed through to sort out the issue once and for all. We will appreciate it.

I look forward to receive the paper work to do the needful, before the compensation.

I hope to hear from you soon.

Roger can't tell whether they want $40,000 or $57,000:

Quote:

I'm confused by your email again. You keep telling me different things about weather you want $40,000.00 dollars or $57,000.00 dollars in compensation. You said your willing to except $40,000.00 dollars, but then you sent me some of the documentation of your hardships as if you want the $57,000.00 dollars. Can you please tell me once and for good which one you want? I just need to know what I should tell Mr Hilts, so that we can get your paper work started and finally get this compensation to you.

I am sorry to hear that your father died from the stress while you were away. I hope he did not surfer too much. Do you have a death certification to proof that he is dead and diseased? I want to make sure your file is complete, if you want to claim the higher amount of compensation. If you have that, can you please send it to me?

Roger will also ask for more details about his illness soon.

Posted: Fri Jun 03, 2016 4:55 am

Thank you, Big X, for finally demanding the death certificate. Been waiting a long time for that. Smile

Of course, we need the certificate for Eric's dad as well, if the lads are hoping to claim that whole $ 57,000...

Next: a picture of Eric and Franklin with 57 (count 'em) orphans...I hope

Posted: Fri Jun 03, 2016 1:51 pm

I do not mind if you borrow questions from my questionnaire that I created a while ago:
https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1thGHQitLB9rS93AxVnMW0ZI8urvPqVllDia3zbKLFEM/
I recommend putting in some of the weirder questions just to confuse them.

Posted: Fri Jun 03, 2016 9:38 pm

Franklin decides to ask for the higher amount, and starts spinning a sob story for Roger:

Quote:

Thank you for your email and I am very sorry for my late response. I
just received your email and i appreciate your efforts in this matter.
I went through your mail and it is well understood. Regarding the
amount you was asking to confirm, we suggest to take $57,000 dollars
as Mr Dan Hamilton proposed for the package and all our expenses on
our failed trips in Cote d Ivoire and Nigeria since you said that the
$40,000.00 is only for the package. Since the GPS promised to
compensate us for the package and reimbursed back our expenses in our
failed trips to Cote d Ivoire and Nigeria.

Meanwhile; I understood your previous email that the $40,000.00
dollars the GPS offered to compensate both of us is for the
lost package alone. Mr. Dennis Rodman, the CEO of GPS contacted
me a few days ago, that the reimbursement process Mr. Moses Malone
promised to reimbursed us in our failed trips is not approved.

He said that the official processes required through the customer
complaints department, before the GPS Board of Directors will
finally approve the reimbursement funds. Mr. Dennis Rodman also told
me that he spoke to you about the reimbursement case regarding our
payment.

Regarding my late father dead certificate that you requested. To be
honest with you, i didn't supposed to tell you the challenges i'm
facing in life, but since is the only way you can know more about my
family and i decide to open up to you. My late father has not yet
buried since January this year, because i'm the only son of my late
father and I don't have any money to bury him now, so his brother left
him in the mortuary at the hospital. (They don't have enough money to bury
him, so he's been in the morgue for 5 months? That seems highly unlikely)
So that we can raise money to
bury him anytime we are ready. I spent all the money that i have at
hand hoping that we will collect the package easily in Cote d Ivoire.
My mother died when i was at the age of five years and i cannot
recognized my Mom only in pictures. My father had been suffering from
financial problems taking care of me, before i dropped out from school
and started business, so that i can help father with my elder sister
as well.

Right now, i have been suffering from hand to mouth to make sure i
survive first and my father brother is poor managing himself in the
village at the moment. Nobody to help me out of this troubles that i'm
facing at the moment. (Ah, woe is me!) God in heaven knows. I will be gladly if the GPS
will consider us to compensate us with the $57,000 dollars to
sort out the issue once and for all.

We await to receive the paper work as you suggested, so that we can
finalize the issue in time without delay.

Roger responds with compassion for Franklin's problems:

Quote:

I am sorry to hear of your family troubles, really I am, and I defiantly want to help you get everything you deserve. I am going to do my best to help you claim the higher amount of compensation money, because I strongly believe it is the right thing to do. But without a valid death certification for your diseased father, I am afraid we cannot add that to your file for our finance department to consider you for the higher compensation. Do you have any other documents to proof that your father is diseased?

One more thing, I read threw your statement again, and I noticed that you mentioned that you were seriously sick when you were in Korhogo. Can you please give me some more details about that? What were you sick with? What medicines did they give you? Was the disease you had contiguous? Are you still contiguous now? How much did your hospital care cost?

The reason I ask is because I believe this should and will be covered by our compensation too. Please do not leave out any details, if I am to convince the finance department to raise your compensation amount, I will need to have as many details as possible.

Let's see what he says about that.

Posted: Fri Jun 03, 2016 9:56 pm

Quote:

My late father has not yet buried since January this year

Unlikely but in any event a person doesn't have to be buried for a death certificate to be issued.

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Be sure and ask him about the odor. A corpse sitting in a mortuary for six months has got to reek pretty bad.

Posted: Sat Jun 04, 2016 1:16 am

^ I'm on it. Part of my plan of attack with Roger is to continually go back and challenge his earlier statements, so that he has to read back and remember what he has told me, keeping him off balance and wasting more of his time.

So I'll let him complain to me about his sickness for a couple emails, and then I'll say I read through his earlier email again, and ask more questions about his father.

Baiting Guru Joined: 10 Oct 2010 Posts: 3877

request a picture of the decomposing corpse.

let's say, it's an additional reimbursement for inconvenience by the transportation company. 15000$ should motivate them.

and they will soon do the calculation that both fathers have a value of 30000$. Wink

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Sep 2013 Posts: 2210

I thought it would be nice of Dennis Rodman to check in on the progress so far.

Quote:

And a good day to you sir!!!

It has been some time since I have checked in with you. I hope that Mr. Bartlett is doing a satisfactory job of guiding you through the compensation process?

I look forward to hearing from you.

Dennis Rodman

And little Franklin responds with a WALL of text:

Quote:

Hello Mr. Rodman,

Thanks for your mail and i'm very sorry for the late reply.
I also thank you for your concerns in this matter. We appreciate Mr. Roger Bartlett efforts regarding our case, because he has done what you directed him to do. He wrote an email to me a few days ago, that he spoke to Mr. Hilts in their finance department, and Mr. Hilts said that his staff had been working very hard on determining our compensation. He also told me the next day that based on the current market price rate for the items in the package that GPS prepared to offer us a compensation of $40,000.00 dollars for the package, that they will continue to do their best to locate the package and deliver it to us.

We accepted the offer from Mr. Roger Bartlett, the GPS customer complaints department. I contacted Mr. Dan Hamilton the sender of the package to know that GPS promised to compensate us with the sum of $40,000.00 dollars for the package, that we have accepted the offer and i told him to accept the offer from Mr. Roger Bartlett, before Mr. Dan emailed Mr. Moses Malone that $57,000.00 is more fair than $40,000.00 dollars and he responded back to us that he suggest $57,000 is more fair than $40,000.00 dollars, that if the GPS will compensate us with the sum of $57,000.00 dollars to finalize the issue without any inconvenience ,that he will appreciate it.

To be honest, we don't know the total cost of the items in the package, while Mr. Dan Hamilton is requesting the $57,000.00 dollar and Mr. Roger Bartlett wrote to me that the $40,000.00 dollars, they promised to compensate us is for the lost package and he noticed that they did not discuss our hardships in our failed trips. I responded back to him three days ago, that you told me about the reimbursement process Mr. Moses Malone promised to reimburse us in our failed trips is not approved, that the official processes of the reimbursement required through the customer complaints department, before the Board of Directors will finally approve the reimbursement funds.

I told Mr. Roger Bartlett, if the GPS will compensate us with the sum of $57,000.00 dollars as Mr. Dan Hamilton proposed for the package, because Mr. Dan Hamilton is worried about all this happening and he always update us on his beloved wife health condition at the hospital, so that we can be helping his wife here with prayers. We are scared of Betty's health condition, because Mr. Dan Hamilton always mentioned that is the stress of the wrong delivery of the package that puts his beloved wife Betty in that situation she was at the moment.

I pleaded to Mr. Roger Bartlett to help us conclude the case in time, because we really want to sort out the issue amicably. I let him to understand the condition we all are facing now, because of this package we traveled to collect in Cote d Ivoire that put my late father in heart of thinking before he died. My father died in a heart attack in January earlier this year, where he was thinking about the problems that i'm facing because i'm the only son of my late father and him told me to returned back home when he was seriously sick and i cannot go back then, before he died and he has not yet buried. I spent all the money i have at hand in our failed trips, because i'm hoping that we will travel to bring the package back to Ghana easily.

I forwarded some documentation proofs what happened to me in our failed trip in Cote d Ivoire to Mr Roger Bartlett to understand that we passed through hardships in our failed trips to Cote d Ivoire and Nigeria. He responded back to me few minutes ago, that he noticed that i mentioned that i was seriously sick when i'm in Korhogo Cote d Ivoire.

He still requests more details about that again and he was asking me questions, that what did i sick with and what medicines did they gave me. He also request that i should tell him the disease i had contiguous. All these things he was asking me to answer is in the hospital card and the hospital receipt the doctor issued to me, because after the Nurse had thoroughly examined my health condition, she tells the doctor what she found out and the doctor wrote everything with French language.

I am writing to inform you that i have not yet collect my late father deceased death certificate, i was in Cote d Ivoire when my father died and my father brother took him to the mortuary, so that we can raise money to bury him whenever we are ready. I contacted my father brother that took my father to mortuary in the village, that i want him to obtain my late father deceased death certificate from the hospital and they he responded back to me that the doctor and the mortuary attend requested their charges before the death certificate will be issue to me legally and my father brother is poor managing himself in the village at the moment.

I am attaching you the details of what i passed through in Korhogo Cote d Ivoire for your reference, because i sent a copy of the pictures to Mr. Roger Bartlett as he requested and i understood in his previous email that if i did not provide all the details that they GPS will not add money for the $40,000.00 dollars they promised to compensate for the lost package.

I look forward for your advice soonest.

Regards,

Mr. Franklin Obi.

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Mar 2015 Posts: 1916

Apparently, in Ghana, friends and relatives make enormous contributions to funerals, which are often huge affairs. It's unlikely that Franklin's father would remain unburied. But, guys, if he were to be still in the morgue, won't he be in a refrigerated unit? Not decomposing? Though, with all the 'dumsor' powercuts in the country, don't suppose the refrigeration has been all that efficient.
Shocked

Etc

Posted: Sat Jun 04, 2016 2:17 pm

With Franklin's father's corpse at the mortuary for five months now, the demurrage fees must be enormous. Smile

Posted: Sat Jun 04, 2016 5:38 pm

Franklin sends a wall of text to Roger as well:

Quote:

Thank you for your mail and i'm very sorry for the late reply.
I am writing to inform you that we really risked our lives so much in our failed trips to Cote d Ivoire and Nigeria. I told you nothing but the truth, because Mr. Moses Malone is aware of all the troubles we passed through in our failed trips.

Regarding the questions you asked about my health condition. I hope you will understand my point, because i was healthy when i traveled to Cote d Ivoire to pick up the package and i don't know what brought the sickness that suffered me to the point of death in Korhorgo Cote d Ivoire. It's only God that saved my life up till today, because i don't know what could have happened to me.

I was seriously sick with a stomach problem getting to one month in Korhogo, where we are waiting for our package , the GPS drivers that stole our package and ran away to Bamako Mali with the company van. We waited for so long there in Korhogo, when Mr. Moses Malone was sorting the issue out in Bamako Mali, before our money got finished and we start frustrating in Korhogo, Cote d Ivoire.

God directed us to a Catholic Church in Korhogo, where they helped us to survive. We went there and the Rev father saw my health condition that is critical, he rushed me to the hospital and advice the doctor to give me a special treatment. To be honest, the church people really help and contribute money for us to survive. After i recovered back the Rev father visited me and the doctor gave him the hospital receipts to take care of the charges.

I am totally confused to answer all the questions you were asking in your previous email, because these things you asked is in the hospital card and the medical reports the doctor issued to me that i sent to you in my previous email. After the Nurse had thoroughly examined my health condition, she tells the doctor what she found out and the doctor wrote everything with French language. (Naturally, Roger doesn't speak French)

Regarding my late father deceased death certificate that you requested. I want you to understand that i have not yet collect my late father death certificate, i was in Cote d Ivoire when my father died and my father brother took him to the mortuary, so that we can raise money to bury him whenever we are ready.

I contacted my father brother that took my father to the mortuary in the village, that i want him to obtain my late father deceased death certificate from the hospital and he responded back to me that the amount the hospital will charge him, that he can't afford it now. And he said that if we are ready that he will calculate the costs of the charges with the doctor and get back to me when he confirm from the hospital, because the doctor and the mortuary attendant requested their charges before the death certificate will be issue to me legally.

As i said in my previous email that my father brother is poor in the village taking care of his own children. Nobody can help me out of this situation and i believe that if i raise money to bury my late father, i will get his death certificate and more documentation proofs in his funeral as you requested. (Just like a lad, he wants the money before he can send the proof that is required to get the money) I will appreciate if the GPS will consider us with the sum of $57,000 dollars to cover for our package and all our expenses, i really appreciate it. We really want to sort out this issue amicably, so that i can travel home to arrange on how to bury my late father soon.

Kindly check the attached file, i resend the hospital card and the medical reports the doctor issued to me, which i sent to you in my previous email. I also attached a copy of my picture in the hospital, when the Nurse was examining my health condition in Korhogo Cote d Ivoire.

We are still waiting for you to send us the paper work to sign as you requested to finalize this compensation.

Roger will reply on Monday.

Baiting Guru Joined: 10 Oct 2010 Posts: 3877

^^

pics or it didn't happen.

so, they have to deliver a pic of the dead corpes of the not yet buried father...

and it should be a plausible pic (5 months in a warm climate...)

Posted: Sat Jun 04, 2016 8:15 pm

I'm of two minds about this...I want to call them out on all the lies of course, but the primary goal should be to get them to travel again. Mr. X and Mr. L, do you think it's the right time to maybe give the lads hope of the ultimate prize? Give them an easy form to fill out, tell them that it has been approved by Mr. Hilts, so they can come to Niamey to get it?

And then of course, pull the rug out from under them once the safari has been confirmed, by saying that Mr. Hilts's superior is now asking for more documentation?

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Mar 2015 Posts: 1916

^^ But what are the odds that Eric will go with Franklin? It's possible he won't.

With regard to the (French) medical report, it looks like iddy biddy Mr F doesn't know he had a parasite infestation. Laughing

Posted: Sun Jun 05, 2016 4:40 pm

We have to make sure Eric does. $ 57K check made it to both of them on a pre-printed check...that requires both their signatures to collect, and also to "cash". No pair of lads, no check.

Posted: Sun Jun 05, 2016 5:46 pm

Of course, if they want separate checks, then they will have to provide exacting details on all their individual expenses broken down for each lad penny by penny.

Maybe it's just me, but I'd like for them to list all their colleagues, friends and family members whom they owe money to and how much each is owed.

In lieu of providing the death certificate, they probably should at least provide the current detailed list of costs and charges that have been incurred to-date at the mortuary.

And, gee... I hope Uzumbo isn't interested in any fingers or toes of Franklin's father. Oh my.

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