Help prove to very gullible uncle that he's in dating scam?

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Hello I'm New here! Joined: 08 Apr 2016 Posts: 2

My uncle (55 years old, US) met a girl on a dating website from the Philippines a few years ago. Our whole family has been skeptical from the start. He has sent her money several times for different random medical injuries, progressively getting more and more expensive. He's been unemployed for a couple years and has almost no money, so has reached out to us, his family, for help. He has flown out to meet her and her family and so is convinced that they are 100% legitimate.

Recently, he got an email from her cousin saying she has fallen into a coma (possibly due to the heat) and needs $1261 to get admitted to the hospital as there is a down payment, or else she will die. He was frantic and reached out to us for help. We all were sure it's a scam.

After a few days, we decided that even though we were sure it was a scam, we would loan him the money by sending the money DIRECT TO THE HOSPITAL for her payment, not to her or her family directly.

Then the story changed. I obtained her email, which her "cousin" had been using to communicate as she was in the hospital- I sent a general email to get a feel for what is going on. She told me she has typhoid fever, and that a neighbor Muslim family helped to pay her down payment, but that they had her discharged because they didn't want to pay any more bills. She said they took her home and will not let the family speak to her again until they pay the $1,261 (their way of having us now pay them instead of the hospital).

I showed this email to the rest of the family, now everyone EXCEPT MY UNCLE is convinced this is 100% a scam. But he is just too gullible. He thinks since he met them in person, they are 100% authentic. He just cannot see reason at this point.

We are not giving him any money. Now he has sent us all more emails begging for money, saying that he is afraid that the "Muslim family" will sell her as a marriage slave to someone, which he says is worse than death, if they don't get their money.

I have her email, I have the name, address, and phone number of hospitals in her area. And I do have her address as well.

I'm wondering the best way to go about this - how can I prove to him that this is a scam? Simply telling him it's a scam won't work - he is too deep into this for us just to tell him and him believe us.

Our approach is now pretty much telling him he is on her own. I would really like to prove this is a con to him -- any advice???

Posted: Fri Apr 08, 2016 12:40 pm

She sounds like a Pro Dater, which is a common "scam" among Philippine women and not something that this site deals with.

But, the worst thing you can do is fuel his "addiction" by lending him the money, especially if he is unlikely to be able to pay it back. What will you do when the next request comes, and the one after that?

Posted: Fri Apr 08, 2016 3:10 pm

It sounds like he's pretty hooked, especially with the perp's whole family pitching in. You can start by checking eater's sister site scamwarners.com. You can also do a search for "Romance scams", then do a compare and contrast with him. I won't lie, this is going to be an uphill battle. Good luck.

Posted: Fri Apr 08, 2016 3:55 pm

Pro Daters are not something Scamwarners deals with.

Posted: Fri Apr 08, 2016 4:10 pm

No but they do have a section dedicated to romance scams. From what I've read, I'd wager that this woman and her family are working a bog standard romance format - perp falls in love with the vic in fairly short order, after which all sorts of "problems" arise requiring the victim's cash to "fix".

Posted: Fri Apr 08, 2016 4:24 pm

Quote:

He thinks since he met them in person, they are 100% authentic.

The woman actually exists, is using her own pictures and her family are in on the scam. That is totally different from the Yahoo boy sitting in a cafe using porn star pictures.

This is a pro dater and I repeat, it is not something that Scamwarners deals with as we do not have the experience or knowledge to advise them. The OP has been told that already on the thread that he started there

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 08 Apr 2016 Posts: 2

Yeah, thanks guys. I will look else where. As far as my situation, my family is all just going to stand their ground and not contribute

Posted: Fri Apr 08, 2016 7:38 pm

^ You're welcome. ^^I know there are differences in the two scams and your points are valid. My point is looking at the similarities can provide helpful reference material, as both employ the same pattern to separate a vic from their money.

Posted: Fri Apr 08, 2016 9:41 pm

asdf3216,

You have a PM.

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 12 Apr 2016 Posts: 10

asdf3216

You have more pm in case you still need help.

cheers

Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2016 1:28 pm

A google search for "asian pro daters" brings up tons of stuff. Sometimes knowing what the scam is called is half the battle, at least now you can get hold of some background info. Print off a heap of articles from the various police and security agencies and get your uncle to read it. In the meantime, don't give him any money and keep an eye out for any unexpected borrowing. it's not unknown for well hooked victims to commit acts of identity theft to get hold of cash. Not saying he would, but be aware of how bad it can get.

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 12 Apr 2016 Posts: 10

Another good search would be "fake dating profiles" to find out how to spot them well. So you can try and have a look with your uncle on her profile and see if it fits the description of fake profiles.

Posted: Thu Apr 14, 2016 3:47 pm

^^^That works well with typical romance scams, but pro daters use their real information with the long time goal of meeting up.

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 12 Apr 2016 Posts: 10

Ah good point. Thanks. I got much to learn.

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