Eric and Franklin arrive in Maiduguri, Nigeria (pg 12)

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Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Sep 2013 Posts: 2210

This is a continuation of the 56 day safari that my orphanage lads Eric and Franklin just completed here:

https://forum.419eater.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=272042&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0

Despite their many difficulties, they still believe that there is a package of iPads waiting to be collected.

Betty has taken a turn for the worse:

Quote:

Hello Brother Eric,

I don't have long to write. Betty is in very bad condition. I think the stress has effected her very badly. She has been bedridden for many days. When she wakes, she is very confused. She mumbles about the orphans and the package and Uzumbo. I must go back and check on her.

When I have a moment, I will write to Mr. Moses.

Regards, Dan

The lads haven't heard from Moses in several days and they are starting to get nervous:

Quote:

Hello Mr Malone,

How are you doing? I hope all is well with you and your family. I
haven't heard from you since we arrived in Ghana. We have waited for
your response for so long now, please let us know what happen to you
because we think so much about you day after day.

We thank God for saving our lives and the package, we also thank you
once again for your efforts to help us safe the package in your
company. I want you to understand the major reason why we are worried
to hear from you. We think so much about you, we prayed to God to
guide and protect you and your family.

Please let us know what is going on at the moment, so that we will
channel our prayer points to everyone because it's not good to keep
silent to Brother Dan Hamilton at this point, his wife sister Betty is
seriously ill at the hospital, because of the stressed they past
through on the wrong delivering of the package GPS company
delivered to Cote d'Ivoire. We don't want anything to happen to
anyone, because our lives is very important to the Almighty God who
created heaven and earth.

We assured Brother Dan and his wife sister Betty that we will be
updating them on any development about the package they sent to the
orphans, so that they will stop thinking about the troubles Uzumbo
brought to we all in Korhogo. Since God arrested Uzumbo and his gangs(I have no idea why he keeps saying this, as Uzumbo was never arrested)
back to their houses, so that they will stop thinking to avoid causing
a high blood pressure to anyone of them.

Please if you can help us to update Brother Dan Hamilton, that the
package is saved and when GPS company will deliver the package
to us safely so that they will not troubled themselves any more.

I also want to let you know that Mr Franklin health condition is
getting better now and he traveled to their home town for the
arrangements of his late father burial.

Hope to hear from you soonest and stay blessed.

Regards.

Mr Eric

Moses finally gets back to him:

Quote:

Good day to you Mr. Eric,

I must apologize for the delayed response. When I returned to Korhogo, I took several much needed relaxation days to clear my mind and get some rest after this stressful ordeal.

I got some sad and very terrifying news when I returned to Korhogo. My employees informed me that two of our package handlers were found murdered last week just prior to my arrival back to the village. Mr. Ewing and Mr Olajuwan were found killed along their routes. They had each been with the company for over 10 years. Their vans were ransacked and packages were stolen and torn apart.

Someone had done.... things.... to their bodies. Terrible things.

Upon Mr Ewing's forehead, someone had carved the word "Kofiboyz" into the skin. Body parts were removed. So many parts. If not for his name tag they may not have been able to identify him.

The police are investigating, but to be honest I think that the officials are so scared of the Kofiboyz that i don't expect justice for them. It is a very sad day here at the GPS office.

I still have your package. I have it safely contained in lock-up. I am concerned for your safety and I think it would be a very bad idea for you to return to Korhogo.

I think the safest and securest way, considering the dangers here, would be to have your package send to our main regional office in Abuja, Nigeria. It is the opposite direction from Korhogo, and the Kofiboyz would not know the package was there. I am still scared for my safety here in Korhogo, but I do not want you to have to deal with anymore stresses relating to this package. Very Happy

If you would be able to travel to Abuja to collect the package I will get it sent out immediately and it will arrive there in two days time.

Moses

Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2016 8:46 pm

Great news, Mr L. I know that many of us will be watching this Thread with interest and anticipation.

Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2016 9:11 pm

Count me in! I've just got to nip to the corner shop for more popcorn Very Happy

Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2016 9:33 pm

Still following intently, now from my holiday let near Alcester and as many pubs as possible for the next 2 1/2 weeks.

Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2016 10:28 pm

Excellent!

I always laugh when I hear or read "relaxation day." I remember TM using that phrase for some SH staff. Is that an actual phrase, like a vacation day? It just sounds funny to me that lads are told about a "relaxation day" when the lads are all over town for hours or days looking for SH.

It's also incredible the Kofiboyz were able to take down two 7 footers!

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Sep 2013 Posts: 2210

Well Ewing had those lousy knees, and it seemed like Olajuwon was always fasting and weak at the worst possible times, so it kind of makes sense actually. Wink

Posted: Fri Mar 04, 2016 11:14 pm

Awesome job as always Mr L.

I imagine your intent is for the K-boyz to continue their reign of terror again GPS, eventually ransacking the office and forcing Moses to flee - but luckily the day before Moses put the package in the truck headed safely to Abuja! Hopefully the K-boyz don't go through all of the manifests in the filing cabinet....

EDIT: Don't say anything bad about my boy Hakeem. Smile

He made every single centre in the NBA look stupid for a lot of years.

Baiting Guru Joined: 10 Oct 2010 Posts: 3877

I'm glad that the show is going on...

just a suggestion, as poor franklin is likely to have a tapeworm infection: betty isn't doing well, and the doctors are puzzled. but then, they run a few more obscure tests and finally find out that she has a tapeworm infection from bad sushi.

if that tapeworm infection of franklin is real, she may offer medicine to treat that infection... in that parcel with all the ipads and so.

this would bring additional motivation to keep the lads moving.

the medicine should be something that instantly kills that worm... but betty got a whole box of it just to be really sure that it wiped that worm out. Twisted Evil

Posted: Sat Mar 05, 2016 2:14 am

Ewing did have those lousy knees hahaha

I actually met him once and he is an absolute monster of a man. Very nice guy though. I was at the at the Garden in 94' when they actually lost to Hakeem and the Rockets....and all that craziness with OJ was going on...

Your bait has had me so nostalgic for for early 90's NBA. I've been watching the Dream Team documentaries, Knicks/Bulls clips, etc.

Makes me feel like a kid again Very Happy

Posted: Sat Mar 05, 2016 2:35 am

Quote:

If not for his name tag they may not have been able to identify him.

Does that mean that Ewing was actually a Koffiboi and he faked his death?

Posted: Sat Mar 05, 2016 5:17 am

Every epic tour deserves its own t-shirt...

(Damn it, I can't get this to insert properly - here's a link:)

http://imgur.com/8ST64ia

Posted: Sat Mar 05, 2016 6:22 am

Is he seriously going to get these idiots to travel AGAIN? Wow.

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Mar 2015 Posts: 1916

@Robert H. der 1 - that tapeworm of Franklin's really amuses you, doesn't it? Lolololol

Baiting Guru Joined: 10 Oct 2010 Posts: 3877

^^^^

usually lads on safari just cry about fever, malaria, headache and so. now in this case, poor franklin has something creative and doesn't even mention it to us. it seems as if there is some sort of taboo. "don't speak about your worm infection, that's just poor hygiene". if Mr L gets him to talk about it, we would get some nice rants Smile

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Mar 2015 Posts: 1916

^^ I hear you. Laughing

I have only heard one person, in my life, admitting to having had a tapeworm. Lololol

Posted: Sat Mar 05, 2016 11:07 am

@DS, that is the most creative tee shirt! I suggest we get an XL for Mr. Labowski!

Baiting Guru Joined: 19 Sep 2013 Posts: 2210

^^I like it!

Eric is worried that Dan is still emailing Uzumbo:

Quote:

Hello Brother Dan;

We have not heard from Mr Moses when he will deliver the package to us.
Brother Dan.did you reply the email you sent a copy of the massage to us?

Please let me know immediately so that i will stop going to the church to worship for now;because the email you forwarded to us is from Uzumbo claimed to be Mr Moses Malone to know where we are so that they will come and kill us to take the package.

You are not checking the email addresses as i told you; the email they used to wrote you an email claimed to be Mr Moses malone GPS Regional Manager is Uzumbo fudged the email address.

Please try to be checking emails you are receiving as i told you,if not exactly Mr Moses Malone email address below: <>

If you watch and something add on it or if it came with capital letter also forward it to us to confirm before you reply.

Dan won't make that mistake again. And just for you Robert, Dan will inquire about little Franklin's stomach problems. Very Happy

Quote:

Hello Brother Eric,

Yes I have learned my lesson from that wicked Uzumbo. I will be very careful to check all emails and make sure he does not trick me again. I know that God will not allow that wicked fraudstar harker to steal from us!

Betty is still in the hospital. She slept all day yesterday. The doctors are very worried about her. The stress is killing her inside.

Please brother Eric, you MUST find a way to get the package to the orphans! I fear that Betty may not survive if you do not collect the package. Her life is in your hands. I will continue with my prayers.

How has Brother Franklin been feeling. Did the doctors ever determine exactly what was wrong with his stomach? I have never had a stomach ache that lasted for so long? Do you know what is wrong with his stomach? I hope that he feels better now that he is back in Ghana.

Regards, Dan

And Eric writes to Moses:

Quote:

Hello Mr Malone,

Thanks for your response and I'm very sorry for the sad news, what
happened to the GPS employees and we have no idea of this
incident, since we arrived in Ghana. We are so glad that nothing
happens to your own family. We pray to the Almighty God to guide and
protect you and your family as well. I updated Brother Dan Hamilton
that you are safe with the package, so that they will not troubled
themselves any more, because we don't want you or them to enter into
trouble. That is the reason why we tried our possible best to make
sure that you are safe with the package when we are in Korhogo.

Regarding what i mean by arrested. I mean that the Almighty God has
arrested Kofiboyz back to their houses(Eric really knows how to mangle the English language) where they based for you to be
free in Korhogo, because you're innocent. To honest with you, we have
never heard or seen this kind of bad group of boys before, that will
be bold doing bad things with fudge stories to steal and murder people
in Cote d'Ivoire.

I also thank God that the Republic of Ghana is a peaceful country,
since we return back home. We all most forget the stress and the money
we spent(I can fix that), because we are saved. We are still thanking God that save
our lives from this bandits that want to murder all of us in Cote
d'Ivoire because of wealth.

Please be careful this time around and you will be safe in Cote
d'Ivoire. If somebody contacts you through email or cell phone, don't
open up to the person easily, because you have every right to ignore
some people as the Regional manager GPS company.

Regarding what you've just experienced early this year in your job,
before you employee anybody in your company. Please try to get the
person full information and verify the kind of human being he is,
before you give the person attention. I remember how devil used Mr
Banabgo (his spelling) and Mr Randy to steal GPS company earlier this year, so
that you will enter into trouble. God didn't allow such stories to
happen to we all, we experienced a lot of things since devil used Mr
Banabgo to stole our package out of Korhogo to Mali.

We surprised how this gang get all the information about the packages
in your company. But we thank God that saved our heads and the
package, because we are innocent. We are sorry for the inconveniences
that have been in the past, God is in control.

We strongly believe that God will protect you and give you more wisdom
to do your job and take care of your family as well. Of course we can
go and pick up the package from your main regional office in Abuja
Nigeria. Very Happy

If you trusted their service to customers, we will accept
your suggestion. But we'll need full contact information and address
of the company in Abuja, so that it will be easy for us to locate.

Secondly, we don't have any money at hand now for the journey. If GPS will support us with cash for the transportation with the
travel expenses we are going to spend in border to Nigeria to pick up
the package. I appreciate your idea at this point to sort out this
issues on time without any further delay, because we are going to take
another risk again and i heard a lot of stories about Boko Haram
operating in Nigeria. We checked the African Map, it's not an easy
journey in transit to travel by route to Abuja Nigeria and come back
to Accra Ghana where we based.

Please contact your head office in the United States about what we
requested. If it's necessary for you to do so, let us know if the GPS
company will help sort out the issue in time because if any of
this boys know that the package is still with your company. We don't
know what they might fudge or act again to steal the package from GPS
company.

Please don't hesitate to update me immediately you concluded with your
company, so that I will inform Mr Franklin Obi to come back quickly
for the journey. Remember to keep secret intact on how your company
will delivery the package to us safely to avoid eyebrow from people to
know where we are going to pick up the package.

Hope to hear from you as soon as possible.

Mr Eric

Looks like another Eric/Franklin safari is quite possible yet again. I love these lads. Very Happy

Posted: Sun Mar 06, 2016 12:18 am

With your master skills at baiting, and these fools being so amenable to safaris, there is still so much life left in them. This is absolutely amazing. In addition to the ridiculous amount of time they have been safaried, how much of a distance have they traveled as well? When they go to Abuja it must be thousands of kilometers! If you need any info on transportation from Lagos to Abuja, my lad Moses was really specific about the company he used.

Amazing work bro.

Posted: Sun Mar 06, 2016 12:18 am

Excellent! The only downside will be we'll have to a wait a week or so through the incessant whining about how they need to get some of their cash in advance for travel expenses.

Posted: Sun Mar 06, 2016 12:25 am

^That's not necessarily a problem - Moses contacts the legal department to get an ex gratia payment for Eric and Frank, gets the thumbs down, pleads Eric and Frank's case, gets the thumbs down again, and finally admits defeat - that should whet their appetites (and show what a nice guy Moses is...)

Posted: Sun Mar 06, 2016 10:08 am

@Mr L Mr Malone could offer to book a luxury two night stay for a SH at Nigeria for them as a "thank you for all your troubles". This should provide more incitement to go to Nigeria and should be able to drag the safari out even further as they will struggle to find The Monsignor's delightful staff.

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 11 Feb 2016 Posts: 15

It seems they have forgotten about the orphanage in all of this, i wonder how those poor orphans are coping without their ipads and without itty bitty Franklin to play with.

Posted: Sun Mar 06, 2016 12:41 pm

Quote:

safely to avoid eyebrow from people to
know where we are going to pick up the package.

Eyebrow? What about eyelash?

Posted: Sun Mar 06, 2016 7:02 pm

Rumor Has it that there is a talent scout from an american production company in Abuja right now. You probably can't work that into the bait. I just wanted to mention it.

Posted: Sun Mar 06, 2016 7:16 pm

loopylou wrote:

It seems they have forgotten about the orphanage in all of this, i wonder how those poor orphans are coping without their ipads and without itty bitty Franklin to play with.

And the matter of Franklin's poor dead dad also seems to have been set aside...funny how that works.

Maybe Mr L can offer them that GPS will pay for the funeral expenses, but only directly to the funeral parlor, so we need their account info, as well as a death certificate. That will of course fall through on a technicality...

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