Red Indian Dialect (english lessons 2)

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Posted: Wed Dec 08, 2004 3:39 pm

Another surprise e mail...I send a reply that I used in another bait...

Attn: Request For Assistance

You may be surprise to receive this letter from me, since you don't know me personally, I am DEMPAT
WEMBA the first son of MOYO WEMBA who was recently murdered in a land dispute in Zimbabwe.

I am writing this letter to request your assistance and confidentiality to handle a transfer of fund into a
Foreign account and I decided to write you,my late father was among the few black Zimbabwean rich
farmers murdered in cold blood by the agents of the ruling Government of President Robert Mugabe, for
his alleged support and sympathy for the Zimbabwean opposition party controlled by the white minority.

Before my fathers death, he has taken his fund through a diplomatic means to a security and finance
company base in India, this fund amounted to the sum of Thirty six Million United State Dollars
($36million) conveyed in tw trunk boxes mow being taken care of by this Security and Finance Company
as a family valuables as if he foreseen the looming danger in Zimbabwe. This money was allocated for
the purchase of new Machinery and chemical products for Agro allied farm and for the establishment of
new farms in Lesotho and Swaziland.

These land problems arose when President Robert Mugabe introduced a new land act that wholly
affected the rich white farmers, and the blacks vehemently condemned the "modsoperandi" adopted by
the government. This resulted to rampant Killings and mob action by the war veterans and some political
thugs,precisely more than three thousands(3,000)people have so far been killed.Heads of government
from the west, especially Britain and United States have voiced their condemnation of Mugabe's plans.
Subsequently, South Africa Development Community (S.A.D.C) has continuously supported Mugabe's
new land act, it is against this background that my entire family who are currently residing in South Africa
have decided to transfer my father's money into a foreign account.

As the eldest son of my father, I am saddled with the responsibility of seeking a genuine foreign account
where this money could be transferred without the knowledge of my government who are tactically
freezing our family's wealth and South Africa government seem to be playing along with them. I am faced
with the dilemma of investing this money in South Africa for the fear of encountering the same experience
in the future,since both countries have the same political history.

More so, The South Africa Foreign Exchange policy does not allow such investment, Hence I am
seeking for political asylum in The Netherlands. As a business person, I wannts to entrust my future and
that of my family into your hands, I must let you know that this transaction is 100% risk free and the nature
of your business does not necessarily matter.

For your assistance,we are offering you 15% of the sum, 80% for me and my family, while 5% will be
mapped out for any expenses that we may incurred during this transaction.We wish to invest our money
on commercial properties based on your advice.Finally,i will demand for a total assurance and sincerity on
your part when the fund gets to the account you are going to provide in your country.If this proposal is
accepted by you, please confirm by you sending me an email with this email address
([email protected]).

Thanks and God bless you. Awaiting your urgent response.

Kind Regards ,

Dempat Wemba .

My response:

Hello!

Well, I'm wondering if English is your second language, because your
spelling, grammar, and punctuation is atrocious! However, thinking on
it, you may also have gone to school, perhaps, in New York City?
English is my second language as well. I grew up speaking an American
Indian Dialect, and I have a saying I am fond of:
"Is-thay is-ay ertainly-say a-ay am-scay" This means, "a stranger will
contact me and grant me a fortune"
Well, I believe you may be that stranger! I am certainly interested in
your business proposal! Send me details right away!
Dr Hugh G Rection
NY Gastroentereological Group

Posted: Wed Dec 08, 2004 3:40 pm

He bites:

Hello Dear,
Thanks for your response to my earlier message to you, though i have been eagerly waiting for you to reach me beck soonest with my proposal.
Regarding your question, English is my second language, we learn it in school in my local Town in Zimbabwe and also i like you to know that we had also other numerous languages we speak over there so if my English is outrocious as you said please pardon me for that, i a, just trying me best to be more polite to you.
As i have earlier written to you in my first mail, our family fund is presently in the hands of a security company base in the netherlands where i am also presently seeking for a political asylum as a result of the chatastrophy that befell me and my family, so i am taking every necessary precautions to ensure the safety of this fund because its the only last hope me and my family have left to restart our live again.
Please kindly reach me back with your personal phone number so that i can reach you and we can get to know more of each other and then i will also introduce you to the rest of my family now in South Africa as a partener whom i contacted to assist us to safe keep our fund.
Thanks once again for your kind response, hope to hear from you urgently.
Sincerely,
Dempat Wemba
(for the family).

Posted: Wed Dec 08, 2004 3:43 pm

Let's see where I can take this....lately, if you've noticed, I've been a bit fond of pig-latin. I respond:

Hello My dear Wabooba,
Thank you so much for your response! In fact, your English seems to
have gotten better with this second letter of yours! You are quite the
agile-minded fella, speaking so many languages! I speak English,
gaellic, and a remote Red Indian dialect. My tribe has a
saying:"ou-yay ill-way ot-nay et-gay y-may oney-may" which means
"always cast blessings upon the heathen stranger" which in this case I
can apply to you, since you are a stranger and seem in so desperate
need of help. I am certainly glad to help you, my lad, and all I need
for you to do is let me know what I can do to help you. This seems
like a once-in-a-lifetime chance, so don't fuck it up, ok? Let me know
what you need.
Hugh G Rection

To be continued...?

Posted: Sat Dec 11, 2004 12:48 am

Dumbass responds!

Hello Dear,
With regards to my earlier mail to you, i wish to speak to you, please reach me back with your personal phone number for proper clarifications as this issue needs my oughtmost caution, and please stop talking about good English as i am not an elite English man.
Hope to hear from you as soon as posible.

Sincerely,
Dempat Wemba.

HAHAHA an "elite Englishman"? What the hell?!

Posted: Sat Dec 11, 2004 1:02 am

I respond to the bastard-guy:

Dear Dingbat Wombat,

First of all, who cares if you're not an Elite Englishman?
I'm not either, but I'm an elite American, and my tribe of Red Indians
has a saying "ick-lay y-may alls-bay" which means "Beware the White
man, for he will steal your land." Your English isn't THAT bad,
anyway. A little sloppy, but with a little help you won't sound too
retarded. I can help you, if you'd like. Anyway, my phone number is
. Ask for me, Hugh G. Rection, or my assistant Ray
Sistass, and we can talk about this deal. KEEP THIS TOP SECRET! I
don't want anyone else getting their greedy hands on our money!! My
assistant is stupid, so he won't have any idea what's going on.
In the meantime, I'm sending you a copy of my passport for your beady
little eyes only. Can you send me your identification? Let me know
what money I must send you for the fees to release the treasure you
have.
Hurry up and don't screw up this deal.
Sincerely,
Hugh G Rection

The phone number, of course, is for the White Aryan Resistance, my favorite people to send mugus to call.

Posted: Sat Dec 11, 2004 1:05 am

Here's "my" passport, made by my pal:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v299/magua/passport.jpg

My apologies to the Vice Prez!

Posted: Mon Dec 13, 2004 7:24 pm

I'm impatient with this dipwad, so I must slap him. After all, he hasn't e mailed me in two days!

Dempa,
You stupid arse-licking bastard!
You are a goddamn fraud and a thief! I was sitting here waiting for
you to e mail me, but you didn't, so I finally figured it out. You
won't send me the picture I asked for because you are a sneaky thief
trying to trick me out of money! Well f#ck you, you stupid bastard!
I'm lucky I found out about you!
Your balls are going to rot off, because I hired a powerful witch
doctor to put a curse on you!
Hugh

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