Do they have windmills in India ?

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Master of Master Baiters Joined: 09 Oct 2004 Posts: 623

Okay, this is another of Claire Grube's adventures. The mugu's name is Jim Ovia. I'll skip the first few emails, they're just the usual stuff. I told him I wanted a picture first, he sent me a scripted email.

So Claire sent this:

Quote:

Dear Jim,

you do not seem to read my emails. Please read my previous email once again and get back to me.

Claire

Jim understands:

Quote:

Dear Claire,

Thanks for your mail as I read and understood your previous email telling me that the email address belongs to your late Father.

What I want is some body that we can work together to get this fund I am talking about. What you have to do is to apply to the bank here where the late depositor has the account as a distance relative and his entitlements will be transferred to you then you and can share the funds.

I shall send to you a TEXT IF APPLICATION you will fill and send to the bank and they will approve you as the next of kin and they will require some documents inwhich I have sent to you copies of some of the documents that they will requist for. With that documents, you have the right to stand as the next of kin and the fund will be transferred to you.

Please get back to me as a matter of urgency, so I can tell you what to do.

Regards,

Jim Ovia.

This guy is really dumb. Another try:

Quote:

Dear Jim,

allow me to quote a line from my previous email: "Before I give any personal details out to you, I shall like to see a picture of you. I like to know how the people I'm dealing with look like."

I sent you my picture so it's now your turn. Or else, no business. I need proof that you are real.

Regards,
Claire

He plays dumb:

Quote:

Claire Grube,

What is going on?

I waited for your response but to no avial. Please if you are not longer intrested in this transaction, let me know in time and stop delaying my plans toward this venture (Transaction)

Jim Ovia.

*sigh*:

Quote:

Dear Jim,

I sent you an email a few days ago. Haven't you got it ? I told you once more: "Before I give any personal details out to you, I shall like to see a picture of you. I like to know how the people I'm dealing with look like."

I sent you my picture so it's now your turn. Or else, no business. I need proof that you are real.

Regards,
Claire

Jim:

Quote:

Claire Grube

Thanks for your mail.

I undrestand how you fill, however, I will send you a scan copy of my Identity card if you want. But I did not recieve the Picure of yourself you claim you sent. Please could you re-send it and upon the receipt of it I shall send you mine.

Regards,

Jim Ovia.

Quote:

Dear Jim,

here is my pic again. Don't send me an ID card, please. You know that ID cards can be faked easily. I want a REAL picture for proof or else, no business.

Yours,
Claire

Quote:

Dear Claire Grube,

How are you today?

Sorry for my late response to your mail as my computer had problem.

Find attached copy of my Picture, so we can commence and conclude with the transaction.

Regards,

Jim Ovia.

Here is the pic:

I saw I couldn't have any fun with him this way so I changed my script to totally nuts:

Quote:

Hi Jim,

what kind of problem was your computer had with done for problem ? I maybe mine uncle can help you. He is a RAM and CPU expert and HD expert as well. Just tell me.

In the meantime, let me express my deepest condolences for your picture. It is really lovely. For, are you a singer ? It looks like you are singing on the photo. I can almost hear it, can I. From where are the whereabouts of the surroundings along the circumstances under which and along whose has the photo been taken ?

Yours,
Claire

Jim:

Quote:

Dear Claire Grube,

Thanks for your mail as the content was well noted. However my computer is now in order. And as for the picture, I was speaking in a conference at the state house in my country.

So we have to get started and conclude the transaction. What you have to do now is to fill the Text Of Application form, I sent to you then forward it to the bank so they can approve you as the next of kin.

Well your picture is also very lovely. Are you single or married?

Regards,

Jim Ovia

Claire gets even crazier:

Quote:

Jimmy, you little rascal,

why do you ask if I'm single ? Are you trying to get off with me ?

But anyway and nevertheless nonwithstanding, as regards the facts and circumstances of the situation, when I come to think about it, bumblesquat and butterfickle yes, I'm single and you look very handsome.

What type of kind of species of conference was that you told me you said to have spoken at ? Why didn'tya sing too ?

Hee-I-ho,
Claire

Quote:

Dear Claire,

Thanks for your mail as the content was well noted.
Though it was a little insultive nevertheless I am single too.
Yes I am trying to get off with you as you are a very attractive woman that would make a good wife. Why are you not married?

I want to know if you have sent the TEXT OF APPLICATION
to the bank for the processing of the transfer in favour of your
name as the next of kin to the deaseased.

Claire, if you have not, please do and also send a copy you
sent to the bank for me to have a vivid copy of it.

Regards,

Jim.

English is not my first laguage but I assume "Yes, I'm trying to get off with you." isn't the way it's normally done. You may correct me if I'm wrong.

Quote:

Hey Jimmy,

top of the day to you, sir. This mail might come to you as a surprise but the content of your message was digested and understood and well noted.

I seriously see no kind of type of a way of seeing that I could understand why you should in any kind of way get the slightest impression of me insulting you. Is demanding the responsive answer to the investigative question if you're single an insult ? I don't think so. Jabberwocky !

I'm very attractive. You told me that and I knew it before and you knew it, that's why you told it to me and I'm gonna repeat it because I want you to understand the possibility of receiving more photos of my attractive self if you send me photos of your... er.. self. I would even remove the clothing. I mean on both of our attractive resp. non-attractive selfs.

I tell you I'm not married. You told me that and I told you before that's why you were able to tell it to me and this is a fact. I understand you try to investigate why this fact is a fact and not a non-fact, which would be a fact that could be called a fact in another universe and you'd still be telling the truth but that's not the truth here, you have to understand that, Jim. I'm not trying to make it harder for you than it is but you know what happens when the fertiliser hits the windmill. Do you have windmills in India, Jim ? Do you have fertiliser too ? The point I'm trying to make clear is, I'm not married because no one married me.

Thanks for trying to get off with me, your chances are good, please go on.

Dingely-dangely-dong,
Claire

Hey, writing like that is fun. You should try it.

He tries to get back on script:

Quote:

Dear Claire,

Thanks for mail as the content was well noted. However,
What we have to now is to get the funds transferred into
your account and then we could talk about ourselves. When
we get the money we could invest it in a profitable business
that even after we might get together we will not lack any
thing in life, and (may be our Children).

And as you know the XMAS is fast approaching and I will like
to spend the XMAS right in your arms.

Please not let is opportunity slip away our hands as God has
used it to bring us together and to give us a very happy life ever
after.

What we have to do now is to get you send an application to the
Bank so they can approve you as the next of kin and the funds
will be transferred to your account.

I promise I will not do any thing that is going to hurt you as I have
feelings too for you, what I want is for the both of us to have a better life.
The transaction is 100% risk free as every modernity related to this
transfer will official and legal in as much as we are going to seek the consent of
a lawyer who will help us acquire every legal document, as by law I am
not supposed to handle such kind of transaction. The lawyer will also be
representing you at the bank.

Please Claire, fill the form today and send it to the Bank, as you know,
they major requiremnts (DEATH CERTIFICATE AND INVESTMENT
DEPOSIT CERTIFICATE), are within our disposal.

Call me on my telephone number today as soon as you get this mail:
+234-803-347-2733.

Take very good care of yourself for me as I can't wait to meet you in person.

I await your urgent call/response.

Jim Ovia.

Quote:

Hiya Jimmy,

Thanks for mail as the content was well noted. However, what you have to now is to send a picture to Claire and then she will send the Application Form to the stupid bank. For me as well as the random word disorder starting a sentence with for like Wilson and this is my last word. With approaching XMAS absolutely no sense but get your Chanukah avatar on as well. This sentence no verb.

Kindly digest this mail and flush down the output of this digestion.

Oops,
Claire

Will update here.

Posted: Wed Dec 08, 2004 3:28 pm

nice!

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