He came back, again. And again. And again.

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Posted: Tue Jun 02, 2015 1:01 am

I publish this (mostly) because of the astounding time period it covers. A little lad abuse, a piggy in the corral and gaps of YEARS in the dialogue. It started with a lad mail in my RL spam folder:

From: "J. Edgar Hoover" <info.mailsender66@xxxxxxxxx>

Date: Wed, 28 Dec 2011 03:36:52 +0100

Subject: OFFICIAL LETTER FROM FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION FBI.

To:

OFFICIAL LETTER FROM FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION FBI

EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR FBI FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION

FBI.WASHINGTON DC.

ROBERT MUELLER III.

(Blah blah blah, huge script with a zillion different ways to deliver my fund with their prices. Yawn. I forwarded it to my newly minted “Lou” address.)

-----

Mr. Smith,

This is all news to me...what's the whole story here? I don't know you or anything about this.

Lou

-----

Good Morning Our Valuable Customers,

How are you doing and your Family? FedEx Courier Service is write on behalf with your ATM CARD which Federal Bureau of Investigation which they said that will should deliver your ATM CARD and I want you to make sure you choose one of the delivery that you want so that will can be able to know when to process to your doorstep as soon as you have choose the delivery that you want make sure you send us the fee so that will can confirm your payment as soon as possible.

However, What you said that can will return your International parcel back to the Central Bank of Nigeria? Before will can do so you have to make sure you choose one of the delivery below.

(The same list of delivery options.)

Thanks

God Bless You.

Chairman

-----

(I was just beginning to explore the whole concept of screwing with these guys so I took a stab at something new.)

Sir,

There's no need to ship at all...I'd be happy to pick it up in person. Where and when shall we meet?

Lou

-----

Good Day,

This is to inform you that will have receive your but i want you to have it in mind if you want to receive your ATM card in person you will have to travel down to DUBAI so that you can receive it your self.

Official note from fed ex delivery service.

Thanks

God Bless You.

Chairman

-----

Sir,

That works perfectly, actually. I will be in Abu Dhabi for the championship game of the Mubadala tennis tournament on January 2. Once my sponsorship obligations are completed, it would be easy to make a stop in Dubai.

Where exactly are you located?

Lou

-----

(Skip forward a few weeks until the holidays passed. I guess he took a mugu vacation.)

Happy New Year,

This is to inform you that will have just get back to work but you have to have it mind that before will can proceed to DUBAI you will have to come up with the sum of $85 so that you can receive your fund your self.

Below is the Payment information.

Name: David Smith

Location: 12 xxxxxxxx street, Lagod, Nigeria

Zipcode: xxxxxxxxxx

Text Question: In God

Text Answer: We Trust.

Amount: $85

(I guess “you that will have just get back to work” means he assumes I was on vacation too.)

-----

Sir,

Do you think that, if I can afford to go to Dubai, I'm concerned about $85?

Please.

What I need from you is the address in Dubai, not Nigeria.

What's the story here?

Lou

-----

(And then he popped in to google chat, where we spend the rest of the silliness.)

7:39 AM

David: Hello

7:45 AM

me: Hello?

7:46 AM

David: How are you doing today

7:47 AM

This is to inform you that will are still waiting to confirm your payment

me: Who is this exactly?

David: Mr David Smith

7:48 AM

I regard of your ATM CARD which the FBI said will should deliver to your door step

me: You must have missed the part where I got this little message: "YOU NO GET SENCE,ONE PERSON WAY ALSO COME FROM NIGERIA HERE TALK TO ME AND WE BECAME FRIENDS,WHY YOU TALL BUT SENCE NO DEY YOUR HEAD.NA SO SMALL PIKEN GO USE YOU PLAY.;.."

(I had gotten that from a lad who used the exact same format and script as my lad, including the name. Different email address.)

7:49 AM

And by the way, you spelled "courier" wrong. Hilarious.

David: what do you mean by that?

7:50 AM

me: That's my latest message from the FedEx folks about my payment from the FBI. You folks need to talk to each other more.

7:52 AM

Guess that means you're just another scamming asshole in Nigeria. Thank all your friends for the entertainment. Take a peek at scamorama.com to see some of my latest exploits.

Now please fuck off.

(This was all many moons before I found our little slice of heaven here and didn’t know the way of the baiting ninja. I’d string the lad along for a while and then burn him and move on. It’s nice to think I’ve moved to bigger and better baiting.)

-----

(Four months later, I see he’s online and decide to tickle him a little.)

4/4/12

10:43 AM

me: Wow...you haven't blown this address up yet? Amazing

10:58 AM

David: How are you doing ?

11:00 AM

What do you mean that I should blow up my email address?

I figured google would do it for you, since you use it for scamming.

Typical Nigerian 419 guy you are, nothing special

Manged to get any money from any suckers today?

11:05 AM

David: listen to me I want you to know that nobody will scam you out of your money

11:06 AM

me: You're right about that...

11:08 AM

David: If am in your shoe I will do the samething

me: Tell me, does anyone ever actually fall for this and send you money? It sure seems unlikely...

11:10 AM

David: what do you mean ?

11:11 AM

me: I mean do you ever actually convince anyone to send you money? Or have you forgotten you wanted me to go to Western Union? That IS what you do...

David: Listen to me your ATM CARD is still with us and by friday will take it to the court

11:12 AM

me: I guess you're not very bright. I know there's no ATM card and I know you're just a fraud. Don't you get that?

11:13 AM

Here, I'll send you some presents...

(I forwarded dozens of lad mails from my catcher account to him.)

David: Listen to me am a man of God and i can not do what will make someone like me sad

11:14 AM

me: Sure you are...except you're a petty criminal.

11:15 AM

David: So please mind the way you talk to someone on here

me: What's that supposed to mean?

11:16 AM

David: The way you talk to me

me: What do you mean...? Calling you a criminal? But it's the truth...just like all the others now clogging your email.

11:17 AM

David: Yes

me: Awww...does that upset you, you goat-fucking mugu? Too bad.

-----

(This time six months go by and this time HE tickles ME. He’s totally lost track of the fact that he’d been burned. Twice.)

10/2/12

9:46 AM

David: Good Day Lou Sindor

me: Hi

David: How are you doing ?

9:47 AM

me: Fine

David: Good to hear that

I just wanted to inform you that will just carry out our investigation today in our office and will find out that you have not receive your fund yet

9:48 AM

me: I thought this was all bullshit...what fund?

David: what do you mean

9:49 AM

Please mind the way you talk

me: Fuck you, you contacted me. I'll talk any way I want to. What exactly do you want?

David: The federal bureau of investigation (FBI).Through our intelligence

monitoring network has discovered that the transaction that the bank

contacted you previously was legal.

(The ENTIRE original spam from 2011 was then added.)

me: Copy and paste. You are one lazy fucking Nigerian spammer, aren't you?

(Totally ignored as he immediately replied with the entire SECOND spam from the 2011 script.)

David: You are hereby required to advice us, on your parcel delivery option

by filling in the required form stated above.

Blah blah blah

me: I bet you suck little boy cocks, too. And let them lick your ass

When you're not fucking goats, of couse

(Sorry, I guess I was in a pissy mood that day.)

9:52 AM

David: ok

me: Go get a real job, penis-face

You're not smart enough for 419 work

(Yup, definitely a pissy mood. At least I had someone to take it out on.)

9:53 AM

But thanks for the entertainment. I'll be posting this somewhere so people can laugh at you

Bye

David: what do you mean

-----

(Four MORE months go by and I see him again. Time for some more abuse, I suppose.)

2/5/13

8:24 AM

me: Hey stranger

8:25 AM

David: How are you doing

8:26 AM

me: Just wondering why you're still using this address

David: What do you mean ?

8:27 AM

me: You're still trying to con people with this gmail...I would have thought that had fallen apart by now. Are you making any money?

8:31 AM

David: I can't understand what you are saying but can we be a good friend ?

me: What do you mean by that?

8:32 AM

David: I want you to understand that your fund is still in our humble office

(Great God in heaven…he forgot all about being burned…AGAIN. Wow.)

8:33 AM

But am ready to assist you and get your fund if you believe you will have it okay

me: And why should I believe you?

8:34 AM

David: An given you 100% assurance that as soon as you comply with the fee your fund will get to you within 24 hours okay

me: Your assurance is meaningless, I don't know you. What proof do you have?

8:36 AM

First you're in Dubai, then you're in Nigeria. First it's the FBI, then it's FedEx. What the fuck?

8:37 AM

David: Am working with the FedEx okay so if you can travel to Dubai them our agent can come down there and deliver it to you in person okay

8:38 AM

me: I told you MONTHS AGO that I can travel to Dubai at any time. Why are you ignoring everything I tell you? And why should I even believe you? You offer nothing but blah blah and no proof at all.

8:39 AM

David: Okay I want you to reconfirm your full information to me them am going to tell you when to come down there okay

8:40 AM

me: What "full information"? And where is the proof of any of this? If I'm going all the way to fucking Dubai, I want solid evidence that this trip is NOT a waste of my precious fucking time

8:42 AM

David: Okay am going to send you the proof

Okay

me: Fine, I'm waiting

(A couple hours go by.)

me: Where's the proof you promised?

Or are you just wasting my fucking time?

(A couple more hours go by.)

2:16 PM

me: I'm still waiting

2:17 PM

David: Yes we are try to approve it okay

me: Sure you are. I'll believe it when I see it

2:18 PM

David: Just be patient because we need to take it to the federal high court for stamp okay

me: Sure you do. What does fedex have to do with the court?

2:20 PM

David: You know we to get every document from the federal government so that we not have any problem with your fund

But you will need to come up with the sum of $450 for the delivery of your fund

2:21 PM

me: Why? It sounds like there's plenty of money right there, just use some of that

2:22 PM

And as I said, I can just come and pick it up in person. Why would I pay for delivery?

2:25 PM

David: I want you to understand that there is no way the delivery fee can be deducted from the fund because the order given to us is you are the only person that have access to it

Okay so when we you be able to come down to Dubai so that you can meet our agent in person over there

2:26 PM

me: As I already made clear, I'll come when I have proof that this real. Not before. And I'm not sending you any fucking money. Why would I? I can come to Dubai for nothing.

2:28 PM

David: Okay I want you to tell me when you be able to come to Dubai so that you can get your fund in person

2:29 PM

me: As soon as I have proof. Are you not paying attention? I can get on a plane and be there in two days and it won't cost me a thing.

You send proof, I'll come. Not before

7 minutes

2:36 PM

me: So when can I expect the paperwork to support this ridiculous claim of a fund?

9 minutes

2:46 PM

me: Hello? Are you even paying attention?

6 minutes

2:52 PM

me: I guess that means there's no fucking proof and no fucking fund, doesn't it?

-----

6:40 PM

David: By tomorrow morning

-----

(The next day.)

11:24 AM

David: Good day lou

11:25 AM

This is to inform you that will want you to reconfirm your full information to us now

11:26 AM

me: What information?

-----

11:37 AM

David: Name:

Full address:

Age:

Country:

Telephone number:

Occupation:

11:38 AM

me: Name: Louis A Sindor

Full address: PO Box 48576, Kaunakakai, Molokai, Hawaii 96748

Age: 72

Country: USA

Telephone number: I don't have a phone, no service on this fucking side of the island.

Occupation: Retired

5 minutes

11:43 AM

David: Okay I want you to give us when you be able to travel down to Dubai ?

11:44 AM

me: Are you not actually reading what I write to you? I said I will come right AFTER I have proof of this supposed fund. Are you paying fucking attention at all?

11:48 AM

David: Okay will have carry all your document to the federal high court for stamp so we going to send it to you as soon as possible tomorrow okay

me: I'll be waiting...STILL waiting

11:49 AM

David: Okay

-----

(He popped in to say hello but I missed him.)

3/12/13

10:55 AM

David: Hello

-----

(Let’s leap forward 25 months...there he was in my friend list. Could I suck him back in AGAIN?)

6/1/15

me: Where the hell have YOU been?

Sent at 7:31 AM on Monday

David: I been here

Sent at 7:56 AM on Monday

me: I gave you all the information you asked for and you disappeared. What happened?

Sent at 8:17 AM on Monday

David: Send me your number now

Sent at 9:08 AM on Monday

me: You mean phone number? Don't have one here in hospice. Hell, at my age I probably couldn't hear the damn thing anyway.

David: Have not heard from you for long

(No shit.)

Okay and are you still ready to receive your fund

Sent at 9:22 AM on Monday

me: Sure, who wouldn't be? When you disappeared I thought you'd either stolen it or it was all some sort of scam?

Why has it been so long?

Sent at 9:24 AM on Monday

David: No your fund is still with the IMF and you are the one delaying your fund

(He’s totally guessing now, it wasn’t an IMF scam at all and he has no idea who I am. Sweet.)

Sent at 9:30 AM on Monday

me: I'm not delaying anything, you were the one who went away

So when are you sending what's owed to me?

Sent at 9:32 AM on Monday

David: The amount delaying your fund is the sum of $1526 and as soon as we send it to the IMF your fund will be release

me: What's that for?

David: The fee is for the anti-terrorist certificate and release certificate

me: Okay, so where do I mail a check?

Sent at 9:45 AM on Monday

David: You are to send it through Money Gram or Western Union

So are you ready to send the fee so that I can send you the payment information now.

me: I think I told you before, we don't have those here on Molokai. We used to, but no more. I guess the place is too small?

David: After this fee you are not sending any fee and please I don't want you to delay this time

This is the payment information

Receiver's Name: xxxxxxxxx

City: Sweet water

State: Tennessee

Zipcode: 79556

me: Quit blaming me, I was doing everything you asked and you just disappeared

How do I send it to her?

David: You are to send it through Western Union

me: I just told you we don't have western union. Are you not reading my messages?

David: Don't you have a Money Gram over there ?

me: No, Molokai only has a few thousand people so I guess it's not worth it

David: Can you make the transfer today to a bank account and am going to contact the IMF now so they can send us there bank information

me: I suppose so, one of the nurses could do it for me

David: Okay and what's the information you needed for the transfer and also your are to reconfirmed your full information now

(That’s weird, I have to tell HIM what to send me?)

me: You already have the information I sent you

I guess I need the bank account number and the bank location

Probably the name of the account holder

David: Okay hold

me: and isn't there a swift code or something?

David: Are you sending it now and you are to send me the transfer slip

me: Like I said, I'll send one of the nurses

David: Okay

Sent at 9:55 AM on Monday

David: Bank Name: Sun Trust Bank

Name: Mary xxxxxx

Routine Number: xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Account Number: xxxxxxxxxxx

Bank Address: 507 W Innes Street, xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sent at 10:03 AM on Monday

me: Okay, let me talk to the nurse, I'll get back to you

Don't disappear this time, damn it

David: Okay and are you making the payment now ?

(Here sure is in a hurry. Considering it’s been so many years, you’d think he’d learn a little patience.)

Sent at 10:04 AM on Monday

David: Hello Lou

me: I told you, I'll send the nurse when she gets here.

I can't go to the bank myself

Sent at 10:07 AM on Monday

David: Okay and you are to keep this transaction confidential

Sent at 10:10 AM on Monday

me: It's not like the nurse won't know there's money being transferred. I'll have to tell her something

David: Okay and are you sending the money today ?

You are to get back to me with the transfer slip

me: It's still early enough here, it should be sent today

Sent at 10:13 AM on Monday

me: I'll get back to you, don't go anywhere

Sent at 10:17 AM on Monday

David: Swift Code: xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sent at 10:25 AM on Monday

me: okay

Sent at 10:27 AM on Monday

David: This is the correct bank information

Bank Name: Sun Trust Bank

Name: Mary xxxxxxx

Routine Number: xxxxxxxxxxx

Account Number: (A different account. Interesting.)

Bank Address: 507 W Innes Street, xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Swift Code: xxxxxxxxxx

me: what was the other one?

David: Is the same thing but the first one routine number is not correct and this is the correct information

(No it’s not, it’s a different account.)

Sent at 10:33 AM on Monday

David: Am still waiting to hear from you

Sent at 11:14 AM on Monday

me: I have to go to therapy and then lunch, so I'll be back in 1 1/2 hours. The nurse is going to the bank now

I will contact you when I get back

Sent at 11:34 AM on Monday

David: Okay and I will be waiting to here from and do tell them to make the deposit instant

Sent at 11:42 AM on Monday

(Time for a little fun but in the ninja way, not letting him know he’s been baited. If I have time down the road, I’ll bring this nurse back and add the lad to my growing list of Evil Attorney victims. Put the picture in your mind of Kathy Bates in a nurse’s uniform and a perma-scowl.)

me: You slimy little thief. How dare you try to steal from a sick old man?

You should be ashamed of yourself

David: What do you mean

me: This is Mr. Sindor's nurse

I see what you are doing, you greedy bastard

David: Am God fearing person and I will never steal from anyone because am only here to do my duty to see that he receive is fund

me: What gives you the right to take every penny from an old man?

There is no fund, we both know that. I'm not a stupid old man and I know what 419 is

Don't you dare talk about God when you lie. He will strike you down, you criminal

David: What do you mean please don't talk to me that way because I only helping him to see that he receive is fund

me: Again you lie. There is no fund. You and thousands of others like you are in cafes in Africa sending millions of 419 mails every day. Don't you think people know?

Lou only believes you because he is old and confused and YOU want to take his money.

David: Am not

(I had a picture in my mind of a pouting 10-year-old when I read that one.)

me: Pathetic leech

How do you sleep at night knowing how evil you are?

David: I will never lie to him because he as spent a lot of money and I do want to see that he receive is fund

me: It is your job to lie, it is all you do you scamming bastard. How much have you stolen today?

David: What do you mean ?

me: What did you tell him? Inheritance? Lottery winner? I've seen all of them you animal

You know what I mean, give up the lies. I know who you are and what you are doing and I will NOT let you steal from this kind old man

David: What's the meaning of all this you are talking about that I want to steal from him

me: Why do you steal like this when you know you are going to hell? Why not get a job and be an honest man?

David: Am not getting any money from him and am only helping him to see that he receive is fund

me: And where exactly is this invisible fund from?

David: Is fund is coming from the Bank Of America

me: Like this one?

**Random 419 email from my spam folder**

Or this one?

**Another random 419 email from my spam folder**

We get thousands of these, all lies trying to scam. You don't need to lie to me, I know the truth.

David: Not lying to you sir.

me: Of course you are, why do you keep insisting?

Here's another from the bank of america

**B of A 419 email from my spam folder**

And another

**Another B of A 419 email from my spam folder**

All 419 scams. Just like you.

Sent at 12:47 PM on Monday

me: How can you do such things when there is honest work to do?

You worthless coward

Does your family know this is what you do all night? What would your children thank if they knew you were just a common criminal? You steal just like a homeless pickpocket.

And then we was gone.

For now…

3 ½ years from the start up to today and I’d bet a paycheck I’ll see him again!

Posted: Tue Jun 02, 2015 5:55 pm

David: Good morning sir, how are you doing today and hope all is well ?
Sent at 10:30 PM on Monday

David: Hello sir
Sent at 3:27 AM on Tuesday

me: Yes, good morning.
David: What's the meaning of all what your doctor say to me last night
???

me: What do you mean? You talked to my doctor?
How?
Sent at 7:29 AM on Tuesday

David: You said you are sending the fee yesterday

me: Yes, the nurse was sending it. I haven't seen her yet today
Did you get the money?
Sent at 7:36 AM on Tuesday

David: I did not receive any money

me: Well, it's still early here. I'll find out what's going on when she gets in.

David: Okay
Sent at 7:37 AM on Tuesday

me: What about my doctor? How do you know him?
Sent at 7:41 AM on Tuesday

David is offline. Messages you send will be delivered when David comes online.

(Looks like doctor question chased him off. I'll be stressing THAT one when he gets back. Might be time for another nurse to pop in with a business proposition...)

Posted: Thu Jun 04, 2015 7:41 pm

He's back, but skittish. If it amounts to anything I'll add it but it's still a little iffy.

Or he could just be really, really stupid.

He came back, again. And again. And again.	View next topic View previous topic