Nigerian Po Po loan lad

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Not quite a Newb Joined: 11 Apr 2015 Posts: 23

Before I start, this is my first bait and it's nowhere near finished, I hope. I'm sure I got something wrong, but I'm just going to throw this up and I'm sure if I make a rookie mistake, someone will tell me. Please do.

[color=darkred]Me commentary=red
Shamelia=blue
Nigerian Police Loan Lad=black
My original emails=dark blue

In Graverobber's world, here is the sitrep:

I blatantly stole the modality from one of the posts on this site (thank you Casual Occurance). I created the below letter and sent it to some of the people in the Surplus Letters:

[/color]

Quote:

Dear , our former Brother in Christ;

I am sorry to hear of your troubles. I have prayed long about your situation, and the Spirit of God has given me an answer.

Of course we can help you. God does not forget his sheep, or even his goats.

Remember;

Luke 15:4-7 - “What man of you, having an hundred sheep, if he lose one of them, doth not leave the ninety and nine in the wilderness, and go after that which is lost, until he find it?”

How much money do you need to get out of jail?

What were you charged with, exactly? I really hope you haven’t been backsliding into the bestiality again. That was not nice, or clever.

I hope this is the right email, my assistant printed it and it isn’t clear.

I’m sure you realize you will have to come back into the fold and be a part of our flock before we can provide any assistance, so we have to get that out of the way, first. Your body “languishing in jail”, as you put it, is not as important as your soul going to Hell.

I am going to try out the functions now, I believe I got the qoute right, if not someone help?

I'm trying out "mask" but will leet the names anyway in case I got it wrong. I'm not sure on leeting, there are many posts that push for it, and some not, so just trying to defeat the google spiders.

So here is my backstory just for "motivation" as they say on Mythbusters;

was a member of Church. He stole some money ($25,000) and ran off. He then attacked the police when they tried to arrest him. He is a large and extremely violent American Black man with a predeliction for animals, children, underage hookers and cocaine. Now he has been arrested somewhere in Africa, but his last email (with the illegible address) indicated he was locked up there and he wants to re-join our church. The Worldwide Church of the Apotheated Extraterrestrial. Yessss, we worships UFO peoples, my precious...

My goal in this is to eventually, after a long time, have the scamm*r believe there is a crazy sex maniac who is more violent than Godzilla out to get him on his home ground and looking just like everyone else in Africa. Except possibly bigger.

Bishop is emailing from one address (he is ignorant of the net and his email has his secretary's name on it), his secretary from another [color=darkred]after using the Bishop's email a couple of times.

I was originally going to name the good Bishop Long Dong and spell the first name to match the last, then I decided they MIGHT twig on that. He is, however, a retired and converted porn star.[/quote]
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Edit: add red text

Not quite a Newb Joined: 11 Apr 2015 Posts: 23

He sent me the standard loan application, i sent him this back:

Quote:

Dear Sir;

My apologies for writing you the email by accident, but we did not know it went to the Police.

We do not need a loan. Our members are faithful and supply us well with funds. In fact, we are trying to find one of our former members.

However, God may have sent us this opportunity, we had one email from our member, asking us for money to get out of jail. He did not tell us which jail, what country or anything. The last we heard, he was in South Africa looking for new animals for his business.

We still do not know even what henious crime he is charged with this time.

So, do you have our beloved former member in jail in your prison?

Quote:

SUBJECT LINE: HE IS IN ONE OF OUR POLICE CUSTODY

Hello,
God finally sent you here,i know him,his name is
right?,he is in one of our police custody,we were waiting for his
family member or any relative to show up,but none came up,so we
decided to keep him in our custody,now that you are here,so what do we
do?..or do i refer you to our general D.P.O for further decision to be
taken?..and what country are you writing from?

Quote:

What is a D.P.O.?

Florida, USA

What do you have him charged with? Is it anything to do with animals?

I am so glad, it must really be a miracle. Praise God!

So, you know him personally? What country has him locked up?

I suppose he called on us because his new friends threw him away after they used him, and he knew we would rescue him. However, when you talk to him, make sure he understands he will have to renew his vows and perform the oblation ceremony before he can have member status again.

Ask him, he will understand what I mean.

Ask him if he truly wants to invoke the at this point. If his answer is "no" then we have no further business.[color]

[/quote][/quote]
[/color]

Quote:

I will talk to him tomorrow about what you said,i will explain to
him,first of all is he your relation,son,or what?.i want you to tell
me every thing you know about him,were he lives before he was
arrested,so that i can start working on the case to get him released.

Quote:

to nigeria
I am the Bishop of his former church. Sometimes I refer to him as "my son" but that is common in the ministry, and only means i am his father and he my son in Christ, not that he is actually my son.

He was one of our members in Florida in the US, but he got arrested, then he quit our church and went to South Africa for his business.

By profession, he is an Exotic Animal Inseminator, and of course this requires much travel, to zoos and other places they have such animals. I have no idea where he was or even what country he was arrested in, or what for. He was previously arrested in Florida for "Interfering with Livestock", a charge we never believed he was guilty of. And he explained the pictures of children.

I suppose when he got into this latest trouble he had no one else to call but us and so had to email us.

Of course we will take him back, he is our lost sheep. He knows we are very protective over our membership. He WILL have to re-position his entire paperwork, but he knows that.

Please ask him if he wants to invoke the "Solitude of Desolation" at this time? It's the only way back to God's Flock.

Please do find this out for me, we cannot accept him back into the fold until he is .

You still haven't told me where he is and what his charges are.

Quote:

SUBJECT LINE: HE IS IN ONE OF OUR POLICE CUSTODY
Hello Sir,
How are you doing today?..i saw your mail and i understand your
expression,he was arrested in South Africa and brought to Nigeria
police custody,he was arrested because of of the same problem that
occur in Florida (interfering with livestock) now he is in our custody
here in Nigeria,
secondly i have ask him the questions you told me to ask him,he said
yes that he is ready to invoke the ,that he is
also ready to do any thing you wish him to do once you are able to get
him out of prison.so what do you what us to do now?

Fu<k. This is the 6th damn time I tried to make the below dark blue. Screw it, just consider it dark blue, ok?

[quote]

Quote:

[color=darkblue]Dear Sir

You can tell I see what he is doing, he wants us to get him out of jail and THEN re-do the It doesn't work that way and he knows it.

First he has to undergo the , then we get him out of jail after he is back in our fold.

If it is possible, please have him email me personally.

I will hold off on the Ordination Ritual of the pending my hearing from him. If he needs to talk to me, he has to do it now, not after the ritual begins.
then we get him out of jail after he is back in our fold.

If it is possible, please have him email me personally.

. Means the Church cannot talk to the pustulant or help him for 90 days while he is digging himself out of whatever hole he is in.

Once he invokes the , all we will do is send him the membership application forms.

If they want to talk to me, I will remind them that i-Phone=iDolatry and we can have no such.

It appears our dear (former) Brother has fallen back into his evil ways, they have arrested him for "Interference with Livestock". Poor boy just can't keep it in his pants around farm animals.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 11 Apr 2015 Posts: 23

The lovely chips in on the Bishop's email (yeah, I wasn't ready):

[color=blue]Hi Sergeant Baby;

So, I'm using the Bishop's email. Actuallly, is my email, he doesn't even know how to email. My name is We only have one computer and one email, more is not allowed to us. I do everything around here for the Bishop.

My Bishop has asked me to prepare to forward membership application forms to our (former) Brother you have locked up. There are a lot of forms, is this a good email address to send them, or does our dear brother have another?

Please don't tell my Bishop, but you are a very pretty young man. I don't know any real Africans, i am African-American, but nobody i know is really from Mother Africa.

Anyway, am sending my picture so you will know with whom you are speaking with. It looks sort of stupid, but that was during my Just picture me a lot smaller and without the thing on my head.

I don't know how to post this stupid looking picture, so I'll describe it. Picture a 400 pound black woman in a white one-piece bathing suit, with a really stupid looking expression on her face and a set of the old TV rabbit ear antennae on her head. Yeah, I know, what is something like that even doing on the net?

[quote]

OOPS. I just figured out why such would be on the net. Could be a bait picture, so the baiter might know her. Might be his sister. The picture is fairly hilarious, though.

Edit:All after OOPS.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 11 Apr 2015 Posts: 23

Quote:

His reply and subsequent:

nigeria police
May 6 (5 days ago)

to me

SUBJECT LINE: HE IS SUFFERING HERE IN NIGERIA

Hello

i really don't understand while both of your are writing me with one
email address,well no problem,i heard all you have said,yes you can
send all forms to him through this email address because this is the
only email address he has access to,my doing all this just to help
save your brother from jail,but before you can send any form to
him,you have to send money to him to settle the gate guard,without
that he will not be allow to fill any form,your bishop asked what your
brother was arrested for,tell him he was arrested in south Africa for
live stock and brought to Nigeria,the same law is holding him here in
Nigeria,i don't really know how much it will cost to settle this case
and bring him back to US,i will ask my lawyer how much it will cost
him to handle the case and i promise once we released him,i will bring
him back to Us to you..i promise i will keep him save until this case
is over.

God bless you and your family for your faithfulness
Thanks.

May 6 (5 days ago)

to nigeria From
Dear Sergeant;

Bishop is a very great man. But he doesn't have a clue about email, and so when I went to work for him, we used mine.

Please don't tell him I called you Baby before, he would not like it. You are just so very pretty.

He will send some money, but he really doesn't know how without having it stolen. He has had money stolen in Africa before and is afraid of Western Union and MoneyGram.

But he is afraid for his (former) member dying in jail, too. I suppose we could send a bank-to bank or maybe a wire transfer?

I don't know, either.

has really messed himself up. The is hard enough to do if you have access to a printer and a scanner, I don't know how he will do it from jail.

That took me two weeks just to fill out all the forms.

And he knows the Bishop will not relent. The Bishop is so very serious about his religion, he whips himself at night with a whip made with pieces of barbed wire. I have seen him preach a sermon with blood staining his white shirt.

I won't say any more on this email.

nigeria police
May 6 (5 days ago)

to me SUBJECT LINE: HE IS SUFFERING HERE IN NIGERIA
Hello
i heard all what you said,first of all ask him how much will he
send,because i told him to send brutus $3000 to him to take care of
himself,like feeding,clothing and the rest,or is he sending the money
to settle the gate guard to allow him fill the form?.when are you
sending him the form to fill?.brutus will be very happy to receive
something from him,please i need every thing to be explained to me,how
things will be done.

Thanks.

May 6 (5 days ago)

to nigeria
Dear Sergeant;

He will send money. But you see that is where (former) Brother messed up, he should have somehow got himself out of jail BEFORE begging for the . nows better, he has done this before.

The Bishop is doing the right now, so it's already too late. He isn't going to send any money or even email has been desolated and that takes 90 days.

So to the unbeliever like you, a member is saying to God "Look at me, i am not worthy" and then you have to try as hard as you can to complete all the membership stuff they make you do, so that you will be worthy. During this time period it is seen as blasphemy for the church leadership to have contact or give the new members any help. Really, the Bishop is pushing it, he is not really supposed to even email anyone ABOUT the member. I'm surprised he didn't put it off on me.

Bishop would let him die before he does anything for him during the The way he looks at it, he would be helping the body but damning the soul, so he will never help the body.

Of course, has chosen a hard road, he still has to build his Arointment Church in Atonement. When the 90 days is up, the Bishop will send $10,000.00 and will have to build a real church. I don't know about Africa (tell me, please, what's it like?) but in the US that wouldn't get a good set of doors, so he has a hard thing to do.

The Bishop isn't even supposed to send forms to but he will do it because he likes even though they have never met. Weird. He has made people handwrite their own forms just to prove they mean it when they convert.
--

May 6 (5 days ago)

to nigeria
Dear Sergeant;

Could you please inform our dear (former) Brother hat his is finished. His soul is on the path to deliverance!! Rejoice with us!

Please do not tempt our brother with good food, nor offer him any. Please be sure he is fed only bread and water for the next 90 days. He should fast and pray and eat only bread and water, and only once a day. Really, he should be by himself during this time, but I suppose that is not allowed?

Should there be any cause to put him in solitary confinement, please do as you will help his immortal soul.

He knows I will be expecting a plan for his church he must build after his from what I know, materials are cheaper there in Africa, so we should get a fine church for our $10,000.00 Love offering. did not finish his church before, by God, he will this time or he will not get a Love offering.

has told me she was in contact with you, and you said she could send the application forms to your email, thank you.

And Blessings of the Lard on you for contacting us and helping our poor brother. You have indeed been like the Good Samaritan:

Jesus answered, "A certain man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and he fell among robbers, who both stripped him and beat him, and departed, leaving him half dead. By chance a certain priest was going down that way. When he saw him, he passed by on the other side. In the same way a Levite also, when he came to the place, and saw him, passed by on the other side. But a certain Samaritan, as he travelled, came where he was. When he saw him, he was moved with compassion, came to him, and bound up his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. He set him on his own animal, and brought him to an inn, and took care of him. On the next day, when he departed, he took out two denarii, and gave them to the host, and said to him, 'Take care of him. Whatever you spend beyond that, I will repay you when I return.' Now which of these three do you think seemed to be a neighbour to him who fell among the robbers?"
He said, "He who showed mercy on him."
Then Jesus said to him, "Go and do likewise."
— Luke 10:30–37, World English Bible

So, I see you have taken Jesus words and live by them.

Edit: remove an email addy[/color]

Not quite a Newb Joined: 11 Apr 2015 Posts: 23

This was probably a mistake this early. He told me he couldn't take a photo, so I just left it for now:

Quote:

Dear Sir
I have never met (former) Brother or seen a good picture of him, his parish of the Florida Diocese is more than 1000 miles from my offices. The only picture I have seen of him was during his previous arrest, was just a US African-American Black man with his face up under a raincoat.

Can you please send a booking photo or the like? I want to use his picture to raise funds from our members to get him out of jail. Normally I would ask the family, but he has no family at all, poor man. Truly, our church is his only family.

Speaking of funds, how do I contact the local magistrate who has jurisdiction over our beloved (former) member's case?

Like, how many charges does he have pending in Nigeria? In South Africa?

It will be pretty hard for him to start a new church as required from each new member if he is locked up.

[/quote]

[quote]
Pretty obviously I was giving him the chance to take advantage of the fact I had no idea what looks like. He isn't smart enough to be that stupid

Quote:

]Dear Sir;

My mind is plagued indeed that (former) Brother has fallen back into his evil ways. Livestock again!! Although I suppose his chosen profession does infer a prederiliction in that direction. I most sincerely hope and pray no children were involved this time.

What is your name? I'd rather deal with a name than just "Dear Sir". Are you the police commander of Nigeria?

Was he interfering with animals in South Africa, or Nigeria? Or both? And why was he transferred to Nigeria?

Does he have enough to eat?

Please keep him away from animals and small children.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 11 Apr 2015 Posts: 23

Big slam! Dolla chop by someone he can't screw with. I looked up the real Chief Inspector of the Nigeria Police Force. He has just taken office and is known as a reformer. On his public profile on the official Nigeria Police site, he had his phone and what looks like personal email. So, I sent the following. I understand about the ITP thing, and have thought about this. The Chief is not an ITP, unless you change that to mean Interested Third Party. Obviously, the Chief has put his personal contact info on that site to encourage people to tell him of lawbreaking in his country. So, I did. I also emailed him to warn him I had given his contact info to a who was impersonating the police. No answer, don't expect one, but if he does get back to me, I have references that will stand up to give him. None of the above is virtual.

I did NOT claim to be a member here or even mention this website. I just said i was wasting the criminal's time, and explained what happened.

Quote:

Dear Sergeant ;

I would like to take this moment to thank you for your intercession on the behalf of our (former) member

I led a prayer with 278 people, and we all prayed for your blessing for being a good person and helping to get (former) Brother ass out of the ditch. We also prayed for good fortune for the Nigerian Police Farce, because you are protecting him.

We have taken up a collection of some $4978.00 on behalf of our brother and have sent it to Inspector-General of Police for Nigeria, in appreciation of the help the Nigerian Police has given us.

was very glad to receive this slush fund. We mentioned had helped us, he seemed proud of you, but it didn't seem to me he really appreciated your usefulness to us.

Thank you again
Bless you my son

Heh Heh.

Quote:

why did you send $4978.00 to Inspector-General of Police for Nigeria,
?? for what reasons ? because he is not the right
person to receive that money, you are not even suppose to be
contacting him at all since i am in charge of this case and i was with
your brother when i took him out of cell to provide
food for him, i will advice you to go and get that money back, and i
also want you to ( send me the email address of the Inspector-General
of Police for Nigeria and his phone numbers ) because i want to know
if this is really human because i do not want anything bad to happen
to Brutus and your money because this name (Solomon Arase ) look like
a scam to me.

Thanks

Well, at least he is polite and thanks me.
[/quote]

Sergeant

What? Oh, my god no! We were scammed before.

I know is not a scam. Why are you telling me he is a scam? He is the Chief of your Police force. You know, the one you work for!

His GSM: and his email is : He doesn't answer them himself, but those are his contacts. My Church has many contacts around the world.

Are you sure you are a real Police? Since you don't know who your Chief is and you think he is a scammer? This makes no sense.

I thought you would be happy, you are doing something good for (former) Brother , so i did something good for the Nigeria Police Force.

Thank you for feeding him, by the way, but please make sure it's only once a day and only bread and water. The bread can be stale and/or moldy.

So far as getting it back, that is impossible, God taketh and God giveth away but God's Church only giveth away:

Proverbs 11:24-25

There is one who scatters, and yet increases all the more, and there is one who withholds what is justly due, and yet it results only in want. The generous man will be prosperous, and he who waters will himself be watered.

Poor , to have descended to the smokey corridors of the very lowest pits of Hell.
Is still alive? Has he asked to be beaten yet?

Please, be most careful, as you can tell, our (former) Brother is very large and aggressive. Last time he was in jail, he used the 110Volt house current and a lead writing pencil to weld some bits of metal into a knife and attacked a guard.

He attacked the Police in Ft Lauderdale Florida and they had to Taser him, and at the time, he was going through his firstand thought the correct thing to do was to make the Police mad so they would beat him.

That is not how the Church works, a pustulant has to PAY someone to beat him.

lways wanted to get beaten for free. He wants everything for free. But, Christ died for his sins, too, and we believes he has qualities worth saving. (Former) Brother DOES believe in the Lard, he is just human like we all are. It's just that his flaws are somewhat more visible. Here is what God has to say about his believers:

Matthew 18:6: But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.

Lard, we prey for our erring brother that he flagelate his body in order to save his soul.

I can't go on. I have to go and prey.
Didn't hear anything, so I sent Shamelia to talk to him on her new email

Dear Saibu;

I had a really good friend called Sabo, pronounced Say-Bo, so is not very strange to me.

I made another email address in case you want to email me. I was getting scared Bishop would find one I left by mistake.

So use this one if you want to talk to me.

nigeria police
May 8 (3 days ago)

to me

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Hello,
Well i dont really understand him,well no problem,did he really send
money to him?

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

That statement is MY payoff. Can you imagine the surprize?

Quote:

May 9 (2 days ago)

to nigeria

Well, actually I did, but he told me to. I sent the money in the snail mail to atse, Central Business District Garki-Abuja Nigeria. Maybe there was more but that's all I remember. See, because Bishop is too Godly to mail his own mail, i always has to do it.

We send out money all over the place, but the last time he tried to set up a church in Africa he got ripped off for thousands and now he is a little scared, so he just found out the guys number and called him, I guess because if he found the guy himself he would know he wasn't scammed.

I don't know about Nigeria, but in the US it is legal and acceptable to do favors for police, like giving them money for new hats (I think it was), and it's generally accepted to expect a favor back. So I think that is what the Bishop is doing, buying the Nigeria Police new hats and expecting a favor if he needs one.

Who knows how his mind works, any man who would whip hisself is pretty screwed up.

Quote:

Dear Sergeant

Now that the Sabbath Day has passed for another week, my mind turns to Brother. Is he still alive? I understand Nigerian jails are rough and hard places, I would not like for him to die before he rejoins God's Flock, but my main concern is for his soul, and not his body.

Could you please pass on to our dear (former) Brotherthat after much praying and reflection, Our Church Council at my urging has decided to forgive his trespasses and we will not be having him charged with the theft of $25,000.00 as we had told him we would. We were going to prosecute him when he quit the Church and took our Love Offering box, but as God has forgiven his sins, we must forgive also, so he is starting with a clean slate. As above, so below.

We would like to reassure so that he knows once he is out of jail there he will not be coming back to jail here.

Really, should have to pay for his crimes, but the council seems to think he may do something desperate and maybe not re-join our church if he believes the Church may lock him up for theft. That money should have been spent on doing God's work saving souls and not, for example, on cocaine and underaged prostitutes.

I have instructed Ms to assemble the Membership Joining paperwork and email it to you, if you could pass it on to (former) Brother I would much appreciate it. He has done the paperwork before, but please give him something to write with. NOT a lead pencil, please, he used one of those for a welding rod with 110VAC and welded some safety razor blades into a shiv of sorts and cut a guard's throat in the Pensacola Florida jail. So give him a marker or something not dangerous.

I'm sure you don't need me to tell you a violent, wayward man 6'8" and over 400 pounds can be dangerous, I'm sure you deal with dangerous people all the time, but God's Church does not. I will pray he does nothing violent there.

We hope re-joining the Church will make him settle down, the poor man has no family and we feel responsible for him.

Has Inspector General passed on any money to you yet? He said he would take care of disbursing the money. I'm hoping you all have fine new hats in the Nigerian Police by now, although I suppose it might take some time to actually get them in the field.

Translation: Hey dude, has your bosses bosses bosses boss sent you any of the money I took up for you? You know, that chunk of money that is more than you make in a year? That I sent him instead of you? Yeah, that money.

Edits: Multiple. Last to remove GSM number and email

Not quite a Newb Joined: 11 Apr 2015 Posts: 23

If I scare him off, then I did. I knew I was risking it when I did the dolla chop this early. I'm assuming he has by now checked to find out who actually IS the Chief of Police in Nigeria,

Posted: Tue May 12, 2015 12:31 am

Hi Grave Robber,

The chief of Nigerian Police IS an innocent third party. And certainly has more important responsibilities than dealing with your lad. Please edit his name and number from your posting. I'd suggest you find a different direction for your bait.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 11 Apr 2015 Posts: 23

@Capone
I deleted several numbers out of the phone number, and several letters out of the email, and I masked both, though as you may be able to see, I'm not sure that is working for me, that's why I deleted out of there.

I'll just delete the whole number and the email. Already done.

I didn't get on here to argue with mods, this is your site, I am just a guest and a new one at that, so I won't argue, that's not what this is. I'm just telling you why I thought it was ok to do it in the first place. Not arguing or even trying to convince you I'm right.

With respect, though, my thoughts on that matter are that I emailed the Chief and warned him. The criminal is in his country. His responsibility is to deal with criminals. I know he is too busy to mess with this, and I told him so in the email, as well as telling him I requested no action, no reply, and just wanted him to know. It was a very short email, just "Here is what I did, just so you know", and I did not try to engage him in conversation or ask him to participate. This message is much longer.

Really, I did that on the spur of the moment and wouldn't have except for the fact that I was able to put myself in his shoes, and if was me, I wouldn't mind and if someone was impersonating MY police I would want to know about it.

However, I figure you realize all that and still don't think I should have done it.

Very well, I accept your judgement, it's your site.

So far as a different direction, I had no intention of involving the IG of NP any further, other than ragging on the lad and just mentioning his name, but that was it. For example, it is straight out illegal to impersonate him, so I wouldn't do that. Is it him you are referring to, or something else?

Posted: Tue May 12, 2015 10:03 am

Hi GR,

I understand your reasoning and I appreciate you taking the time to explain but we really consider LE to be part of the ITP group. I also hope you used your baiting address to email him!

My suggestion on finding another way to mess with this lad's head is to invent your own fake INTERPOL or HLS character to bring into the mix.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 11 Apr 2015 Posts: 23

Yeah, InterPol is not a bad idea. Really, I think I scared him off, but I'll keep trying. I'm in the "complex story, lot of writing" stage it appears everyone goes through, or almost everyone, gotta get rid of that in the next one.