CURSE OF THE WHITE MONKEY, The Evil Attorney in a foul mood

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Posted: Tue Feb 24, 2015 9:50 pm

This one didn’t go quite as far as these sometimes do, but I’m publishing it just because it was just so much fun. The attorney got surly and abusive right away and the language got nasty early. The lad is also a bit math-challenged as he can’t seem to remember the amount of money he’s supposed to steal. I suspect big numbers scare him. It took about seven weeks to run its course.
The cast of characters:
Carl1ing Christie, retiree on the island of Lanai
Ken Olivia, DHL Director in Benin
Morris Harvard, Chief Clearing Officer for the Department of Homeland Security (briefly)
Gomez Adams, Attorney at Law and full-on scumbag
----
My Dear Friend

Please i want you to read this letter very carefully and i must apologize for barging this message into your mail box without any formal introduction due to the urgency and confidential of this issue and i know that this message will come to you as a surprise i finally registered your master card ATM of 2.5m usd to DHL courier service company with your code no (Code: (06634) / $2.5musd) contact them immediately with the info below send this detail to director Mr. Ken for fast delivery of your atm card.

Bellow is his contact.

Name: Mr. Ken Olivia
Email :xxxxxxxxx
Telephone noxxxxxxxxxx

Therefore you are requiring providing your information listed below to enable them complete your delivery to your doorstep.

Address..................................
Telephone..............................
Country.................................
Occupation............................
Copy of id.............................

Mr. Ken is a God fearing and with good account of which others have received their funds successfully through his services and there was no complaining so far, so I can assure you that you will receive the payment today according to the instruction I gave to him which rely on your immediate conglomerate with him.
(Conglomerate?)

NOTE: That it depends how serious you are

Yours Sincerely
----
Carl: Was this for me?
----

(Script # 2 comes in.)
DIRECTOR KEN
DHL EXPRESS COMPANY WORLD WIDE,
FROM THE OFFICE OF THE MANAGEMENT
DHL COURIER SERVICES BEININ REPUBLIC
WEBSITE:http://dhl.com/bf
TELEPHONE: xxxxx
TEL/FAX: xxxxxxxxxx
dhl Express Head Office Benin Republic.
Lot No. 23 Patte D'Oie
03 BP 2147
Cotonou
Direct Hot Line:+xxxxxxxxxx
Opening Hours
Mon-Fri 08:00-18:30, Closed 13:00-15:00
Sat 09:00-13:00
Sun Closed
Holidays Closed.
Attn.
You are welcome to DHL COURIER SERVICE COMPANY with worldwide delivery at its best. We are pleased to be at your service. DHL COURIER SERVICE COMPANY is Regulated and Stipulated by the Delivery Service Authority(DSA),the delivery institutions that REGULATES all delivery activities in the Benin Republic. This office has been Notified by your partner have register your PARCEL Containing "ATM CARD” deposited in our company With (Shipment Code: 06634) for the delivery of the atm card to your nominated.
Yes all fees has been paid but you have to send our OFFICIAL KEEPING FEE of $155 United States Dollars which your ATM CARD PARCEL accumulated since it was under the Safe keeping of the OFFICIAL DEPARTMENT of this firm before we can dispatch your Cargo for delivery.
============================== =========
OFFICIAL KEEPING CHARGE: $155 USD ONLY.
============================== =========
Be Informed that the OFFICIAL KEEPING FEE of your ATM CARD will keep increasing until you pay the OFFICIAL FEES if not paid now, for the delivery by DHL to Release the PARCEL of your atm card for delivery without any further delay.
HERE IS THE RECEIVER INFORMATION BELOW:
NAME...xxxxxxxxxxx
CITY...COTONOU
COUNTRY...REPUBLIC OF BENIN
AMOUNT...$155
TXET QUESTION...When?
ANSWER... Now
MTCN/Reference...??????????
Yours faithfully,
Director DHL Express Global Shipping Company Benin Republic.
.............................................................................................
.............................................................................................
DIRECTOR.KEN OLIVIA
TELE:xxxxxxxxxxxxx
WWW.DHL.BF
© 2011DHL International GmbH. This site is protected by copyright and trade mark laws under U.S. and International law. All Rights Reserved.
(I really like that last bit.)
----
Carl: I'm sorry, but this is the first I've heard about this. I already have an ATM card from the bank, why do I need another one?
----
Lad: You need to have this one because this is international fund Ok. or do you want bank to bank transfer?
----
Carl: I'm sorry...transfer of what?
----
Lad: Please we need your info here to confirm with our file here, if you are the owner of this email and fund, please do so Ok
----
Carl: What fund are you talking about?
----
Lad: Please call me so i can make it very clear to you xxxxxxxxxx is very urgent.
Your email was among 7 people that won coca cola lottery so they decided to deposited it here in dhl, and all you need is to get your info here to avoid wrong delivery, know that you have to send us official keeping fee of $155 once you have done so you atm will get to you by tomorrow morning, and you will start withdrawing your money to any atm machine around you, please do so for immediate delivery.
----
Carl: Really? This is the first I've heard about it. How much did I win?
----
Lad: Your total money is $2.5million usd and all has loaded into atm card which will be deliver to you tomorrow morning, once you send us the official keeping fee today.
----
Carl: I won 2.5 million dollars? You wouldn't be playing some sort of joke on an old man, would you? That's more money than I've ever seen in my life!
----
Lad: Believe me this is not a joke you will get your atm worth $2.5musd once we get our official keeping fee.
----
Carl: This is all amazing. What do I need to do?
----
Lad: You have to go to any western union around you and send the official keeping fee now, once you have done so do get back to me with the payment slip, here is the info where you can send the fee.

Receiver's name................xxxxxx
Country................................BENIN REPUBLIC
City.......................................COTONOU
Amount................................$155
Sender's name..................
Sender's address.............
Cell phone.....................
MTCN..........................

Do as i directed you then you can have your atm tomorrow morning
Thank you.
Deve
(or Ken or whatever…dumb as a rock)
----
Carl: I don't think we have that here, but I will find out.
----
Lad: please you need to reconfirm your full information here Ok.

Your full name..............
Country........................
Address.......................
Cell phone.................
ID....................

Please do that now is very important.
(Of course, he never asked for this in the first place because abandoned the script immediately. I’ll just ignore it and keep on rolling.)
----
Carl: Just as I suspected, we don't have western union here. Sorry.
----
Lad: Do you have bank if yes, then go to there and ask them to do western union for you and they will request the info i gave you.
----
Carl: There's only a teller station here, no western union transfers. Here's what they say:
http://locations.westernunion.com/search/hi/?q=lanai+HI&filters=services-_-moneyTransfer

See? Not available at all

(It really isn’t. Very handy.)

----
Lad: Please go to your back so they can do it for you.
----
Carl: I don't think you understand, western union doesn't service Lanai at all. The only thing I can do at the bank is send the money to another bank account. Would that work?
----
Lad: Please can you go to another city and send the fee if you want to finalize this.
----
Carl: There's only one city here and it's really small. I'd have to fly to another island for that and I certainly can't afford that. Plus, I don't think the nurses would let me do it because of my health.

What a pain in the ass.

----

Lad: Ok, can you check that small city around you to find out if they has western union there?
(Thick-skulled little guy, isn’t he?)
----
Carl: Did you look at the link I sent? There is NO western union on this island at all.
----
Lad: Please go to your bank and ask them Ok.
----
Carl: I had the nurse call and that's why I told you they couldn't do it. Like I said, my only option is to send it from my bank to yours.

Certainly DHL can accept a wire transfer?
----
Lad: Here we go use this info and send the fee today.

RECEIVER NAME: xxxxxxxx
COUNTRY: USA
CITY: VICKSBURG
STATE: MISSISSPPI
(Oink information received.)

Once you have done so do get back to me with the paymeny slip

Thank you.
----
Carl: The nurse is going to kick me off the computer in a few minutes. I can continue this in the morning, I hope we can work it out then.
----
Lad: If you got the info please reply back to confirm that you got it clear.
----
Carl: I got your message and will contact the bank when it opens.
----
Lad: Ok, please do so and remember that once you send it your atm will get to you asap.
----
Carl: It should be at your bank today I think
----
Lad: Please attache me the payment slip like

SENDER'S NAME....
COUNTRY............
CITY................
STATE................
ADDRESS...............
TEST QUESTION........
TEST ANSWER............
AMOUNT:................

Do so it will enable me proceed on it.
----
Carl: Test question? What does that mean?
----
Lad: please attach the slip you got from the bank.
----
Carl: I'll have to find someone with a scanner. Won't you be able to look in your account and be able to tell when it arrives?
----
Lad: look into the slip and send me the details that is inside the slip.
----
Carl: I think my attorney can help, I'll give him your email.

(Oh yeah…he can help all right. Insert maniacal laughter here.)

This is starting to get exciting!
----
Gomez to Lad: Is this the correct address for sending Car1ing's transfer receipt?

Kindest regards,
Gomez Adams, Esq.
Attorney at Law
MCCS Building
8th St.
Lanai City, Lanai Hawaii 96763
----
Carl (who was copied on the Gomez message) That's my attorney, he's taking care of everything for me
----
Lad: Ok.
----
Carl (just stirring the pot because I was bored): I just got a message from the bank and they said that the address you gave me for Mr. xxxxx doesn't match their records. Can you check it? Did he move?
----
Lad: Please tell bank to deposit $155 into this account, they is nothing wrong with my address i don't what the bank are saying,

RECEIVER NAME: xxxx
COUNTRY: USA
CITY: VICKSBURG
STATE: MISSISSIPPI
XXXXXX

Thank you.
----
Carl: Well, that's what the bank said. The bank in Vicksburg says that address belongs to someone named Andrew xxxxxxx. Do you know what's going on?
----
Lad: Please Mr. Carl.
I need the number of your attorney.
(I doubt you’ll get it.)
----
Carl (a couple days later): What's happening? Did you talk to Gomez?
----
(Out of the blue, he fires a script from a different guy upping the fee because the whole thing is taking so long.)

Attention: Mr CAR1ING P. CHRISTIE.

Dear Sir.
THIS IS STOP ORDER NOTICE OF YOUR PACKAGE TRANSFERRED BY ZENITH BANK OF AFRICA. YOUR PACKAGE HAS BEEN STOP AND PLACE ON-HOLD DUE TO A CERTIFICATES YOU NEED TO OBTAIN FROM OUR OFFICE TO SHOW THAT THIS PACKAGE YOU ARE ABOUT TO RECEIVE IS REAL PACKAGE. THAT IS WHY YOUR PACKAGE HAS NOT REACHED TO YOUR HOME ADDRESS.

Through our Network System, we have notice a telephone ATM Card package delivery from ZENITH BANK OF AFRICA, Sir in-compliance with financial policy of united state of American after 9/11 terrorist attack on USA, every package of any bank within USA Or Outside USA and above must be attached with TRANSFER PERMIT issued by United States Department of Homeland Security (USDHS) before they delivery could be allowed to finally destination.

The Issuance fee of they Transfer permit that covers your package has been calculated to be $3,500 (Three Thousand Five Hundred United States Dollars) only
Upon our receipt of the issuance fee, the international Transfer Permit will be issued to you out rightly and your package will be released immediately

THANKS
Mr. MORRIS HARVARD
CHIEF CLEARING OFFICER,
WIRE DEPARTMENT.(USDHS)
cc:BENEFICIARY
cc:OFFICE OF THE PRESIDENCY

---
Gomez (sent from Carl’s email account to the lad): Quit fucking around, you keep sending bullshit that makes no sense. Remember that I control Carl's email.
Do as you have been instructed.

Gomez

(Say what? Something fishy here.)
----

(And then he abandons the $3500 and tries something else.)

Lad: Good day to you, Mr Car1ing

i am very sorry due to the delaying of your atm card but there was a release fee that needs to be paid before the card can be sent to your personal collection, And which amount is $1450. And i have spoken to your attorney about it so do contact him to confirm it. Once this fee is paid then it will be release and deliver to you immediately without any further delaying again,

You have to know that every necessary arrangement of this card has been made for the delivery, only for this releasing fee which is very needed here before we can proceed on your delivery, so please do contact your attorney for him to confirm it please do as i said because time is not ours here.

Thank you

----

Carl: I'm so glad you contacted me, I was getting worried. Another fee? I guess I shouldn't be surprised, goddamn government leeches.

I'll contact Gomez in the morning and get this all worked out. Again, thank you for getting back to me, no need to stress this old man’s heart

----

Carl (after yet another day): I cleared this all with Gomez, have you heard from him?
----
Carl (the next day; I wondered if I’d lost him): What's going on? Gomez has paid the fee and I have not heard from you.
----
(Nope, he’s still in it up to his scamming little ass.)

Lad: Hello, Mr Car1ing.

Sorry for the delaying now we found out that moving money into the country will required screening by the department of homeland security, To ensure that there is no connection to terrorism or fraud. It is based on the amount of the funds and is equal to 1% of the total which you are going to pay $25,000. once again, have you confirm this with Mr Gomez. I assure you that we are working together to help you get your money.
----
Carl: That's outrageous! There's got to be some way to get around THAT ridiculous fee. You bet I'll talk to Gomez.

What a crock. It's like the government has its hand inside my wallet.

----
(Let’s roll it back a bit to when our attorney got involved and see what’s really going on here. )

Gomez: Is this the correct address for sending Car1ing's bank transfer receipt?
Kindest regards,
Gomez Adams, Esq.
Attorney at Law
MCCS Building
8th St.
Lanai City, Lanai Hawaii 96763

(As with my old attorney, this has a disclaimer that’s long and massive. Just ‘cause I can.)
----
Lad: please Mr Gomez use this address to send the money into this account details here, that is the correct address of the owner of this account please do as i said.

(Same piece of pork.)

Thank you.
----
Lad: Mr Gomez, i want to know if you people are doing western union in your bank or any where else?
----
(And off we go…)
Gomez: Thank you for replying my little African friend. I suggest that you read this ENTIRE message before proceeding any further. I have a very profitable proposition for you, however it is imperative that you understand. If your English is not good enough for this to make sense to you, find someone else who can help you. I promise that you will both be very rich.
I am Carl's attorney and he's asked me to help him. It is important that you realize that he trusts me and will most certainly follow any instructions that I give him.

First, let us get past the obvious. There is no money for you to send to Carl. You are one of many thousands of criminals sitting in cafes attempting to steal from unsuspecting fools. I know your 419 game, so please don't insult me by insisting that this is all "real". It's a scam and it's bullshit and we both know it.

Now that we both know who and what you are, there are two things that are going to be very important for your future and your potential riches.

1. Carl is a VERY rich old man. He sits at his computer in hospice on Lanai and his bank account has MILLIONS in it that he is not sharing with anyone. He donates it to churches and homeless programs and all sorts of other crap and it looks like he will leave NOTHING behind when he dies.

2. Because of his age, he's easily confused. He fucked up the bank transfer and asked me to help. He gave me access to his email and I've been monitoring your progress and now he doesn't know what to do. I'll be happy to pretend to help him while you and I suck as much money out of him as we can. It will be a LOT of money as he believes that I have contacted you and have everything worked out to get him the millions from you. Remember, Carl's email is now controlled by ME and he will only receive messages from you when I allow it.

Here is my proposal, read it well and work with me and you will see more money than you ever imagined in your entire scamming life:
Forget about the stupid $155. Carl never managed to send it and the bank manager called me to try to figure out what the hell was going on. That's how I got involved and now we can work together. You will ask Carl for more and more money and tell him to confirm all of this with ME. I will pretend to investigate the fees and will tell Carl that he should give me the money for me to send to you. Once we have gotten as much out of him as we possibly can...or the old fart dies...I will send you half of what we have stolen.
If we work together and do this correctly, I am certain that we can get several hundred thousand US dollars from this operation. Maybe more.

So there it is. You can work with me and biggest the richest man in your little town or you can get nothing, which would be fucking stupid. I control this situation and you have no real choice, of course. We can do this together as partners or you can just crawl into the desert and die. Carl trusts you and believes you, so don't make the mistake of missing out on riches. Follow my instructions exactly and your scamming days can be behind you.

Are you man enough for this or are you just a child?
----
Gomez (I hadn’t heard from him yet.): I'll be leaving my office shortly. I expect to see a response from you when I return in the morning. Don't let this opportunity pass you by, my friend.
----
Gomez (Cementing the fact that he has access to the Carl’s email account): Why ask Carl for my number? I'll give it to you when we've developed some trust between us and not before. As I said before, he will receive messages from you only when I allow it.

Are you ready to get to work?
----
Gomez (Following the $3500 demand script): You keep sending messages to Carl when you know I won't let them through until you follow my instructions. Are you not capable of working this job with me? If you aren't pass it on to someone who can, we can't wait too much longer. I have a solid plan, but we need to work together.

You can't really whine and beg for $155 when there are thousands waiting if we work together. Nobody could be that stupid.

Get back to me immediately before this passes us by.
----
Lad: Now what do you want me to do ? Because this atm need to deliver to him immediately.
(They always try it once, even though they KNOW they’re busted. Lads sure are predictable.)
----
Gomez: We both know there's no atm card, so quit the bullshit.

Tell him that there is a Release Fee that needs to be paid before the card can be sent. It's $1450. Tell him that you've spoken to me about it and to contact me to confirm it.

Once that's paid, we will increase the fees, you will have him talk to me to assure him that it needs to be paid.

We can do this many many times to the old fool.

Get to work and let's get started
----
Lad: How can he see my email when you are control of his email address, Now do tell him like you said when the money is paid please please do send me my own chair of it that 50 50

(Yeah, “chair”. Get used to it.)

----
Gomez: He'll see your emails when I allow it. Now get on with it before we lose him. Do as I told you and he will receive your message

And yes, I will send you half when we're done. If you don't get started, there won't be anything to split, so get off your ass and do as I instructed.
----
(Got him. Let the games begin.)
Lad: He will contact you in the morning for sending the fee so please do
send mine through western union or money gram. and please do
call me +xxxxxxxxx
----
Gomez: Excellent, that is exactly what was needed.

Today we take the next step. Tell him that moving money into the country will require a screening by the Department of Homeland Security to ensure that there is no connection to terrorism or fraud. Tell him that it is based on the amount of the funds and is equal to 1% of the total which means the payment will be $25,000. Once again, have him confirm this with me to reassure him that we are working together to help him get his money.

We're making good progress and I have him totally convinced that he is going to get paid, so don't delay on this.
----
Lad: first of all send me my own part of the fee which he paid today, before we can go to next step because I don't want us to start shirting each other for the begging.
----
Gomez: You'll get it when we're done. I'm not going to make a whole bunch of bank transfers and to move the amount you'll be getting I'll have to fly to Oahu. We're not stopping at $25,000, there is much more to be done.

Now quit fucking around and get moving on the next step.
----
Lad: Hahahahaha, How will i be sure that you will not take all the money run away when we are done, I will not do as you said because you and i knew this is a job and this job is a criminal job, when ever money comes out we chair it and take another step so please my very good friend, kindly go to western union or money gram and send my own part of the money, then we can go to another step or you take it all and stop this work.
(As always, the lad is willing to lose the big bucks if I don’t send the small ones. Happens every time.)

If you want us to continue this job please do send mine first through western union or money gram, or you eat them all let us forget the job let me tell you two of us don't trust each other here, if you trust me send me my own chair of this very one when the $25,000 will be send allow him to send it to my account. Please send my chair for me let's continue this sweet job and i hope you are enjoying it?
(Best put a helmet on, little boi. The hammer is coming out.)
----
Gomez: Listen you stupid African, there are two things you need to get through your thick skull. First, you already know we don't have any western union or moneygram here on Lanai.

Second, you are in no position to demand a goddamn thing. Did you forget who is in control of this situation? You'll get your share when you and I are through and not before. I don't think you have a grasp on what's going on here. $25000 is not the end of this and if you QUIT FUCKING AROUND there are many thousands more to be had.

Let me spell it out for you.

I am in control here and you will do what I say, when I say, and get paid when we are finished. You have nothing to lose and a fucking fortune to gain. I have no reason to steal from you, I suspect we could work together again. Do you think Carl is the only stupid old man whose estates I manage? I can make us both rich.

NOW DO WHAT I HAVE INSTRUCTED.
----
Lad: Listen to me too you whitemonkey, you are in control does not mean you will decide when my own chair will get to me, you can even go for this very one now its does not mean anything for me but what am saying is that every job we do here have be deliver my own chair, for a job well done.

You are in charge here, you are the boss but once we got what we are working for my money have to be get to me immediately, I can’t trust you without sending my own money of this very job well done and let me advice you if only you can do as I decided to get my money, I will give you an account where to send my money for me.

You can’t be a boss that is not paying for his workers and I will do your instruction when you say once you are paying me my job well done, you know this is not our last job and it will not end here and now then why do you want to start shirting?

Let me remind you that you don’t have any FUCKING right to pay me when you decided to, and I has every GODDANM right to tell you when I will like to have my own chair I think you can got that into your small brain.

NOW DO ME A FAVOR, CAN I
GIVE THE ACCOUNT DETAILS TO SEND MY
MONEY TO ME?

If that will not be possible then let leave this job pass by, and I knew you gain more than me now but I don’t care and let me remind you that two of us are a guy man and a guy man can not guy a guy man. 419 is not when you decide to because anything can happen when you don’t expect it.
(This one was pretty informative. Sounds like there’s a code of conduct among thieves. The boss has to pay his workers and he has a right to the money, a guy man can’t “guy” a guy man. Interesting stuff.)
----
(Incoming…)
Gomez: White monkey? You really are an idiot.

Are you seriously going to pass up hundreds of thousands of dollars that costs you nothing to get? How can anyone be that stupid?

You dictate nothing to me and will do as I say or you will have lost more money than you've seen in your pathetic little scamming life. I know your game, little boi. You need to play it as I say or starve. I told you I would send you your share when we are done. Why would you pass on this chance? Just because you're a stubborn asshole?

You have plenty of time to rant nonsense, fool. Use some of that time to do what I tell you.

You must be the dumbest scammer in Africa.
----
Lad to Carl: Hello, Mr Car1ing.
Sorry for the delaying now we found out that moving money into the country will required screening by the department of homeland security, To ensure that there is no connection to terrorism or fraud. It is based on the amount of the funds and is equal to 1% of the total which you are going to pay $25,000. once again, have you confirm this with Mr Gomez. I assure you that we are working together to help you get your money.
----
Carl to Lad: That's outrageous! There's got to be some way to get around THAT ridiculous fee. You bet I'll talk to Gomez.

What a crock. It's like the government has its hand inside my wallet.

----

Lad to Gomez: White monkey, i have do as you said so go and do your own work.
(He’s squirming and whining, but he’s following orders. Sweet.)
----
Gomez: Very good, I expect I'll hear from Carl today.

Maybe you're not as big an idiot as you seemed to be
----
(I need to jack the game up a bit, the numbers weren’t going to be big enough to make it really exciting. Time for a math lesson.)
Gomez: I've planted an idea in Carl's head there may have been a "clerical error" and that the $2.5 million may be incorrect. Here's how I want you to proceed.

Tell Carl that a decimal point had been moved in the paperwork and it was discovered during the scanning done at customs, the ATM card is actually worth $25 million dollars. Tell him you're very embarrassed by the error your office made, congratulate him on his good fortune and tell him that you will not ask for the additional fee that would have been due above the $25000 to apologize for the mistake.

The reason we're doing this is that the $2.5 million is just too small. All the fees and taxes and bullshit will be based on percentages and a small percentage is worth a huge fucking pile of money when you apply to $25 million. For example, General Excise Tax here in Hawaii is 4.65%. That's over $116000 USD when you figure it against the $25 million and we're going to go after that tomorrow.

And he hasn't heard about Capital Gains Tax. That will be the final one.

If you don't understand, it doesn't matter. Just do what I tell you and I will make it work. As always, have him confirm this with me.

Don't fuck this up, we're almost there.
----
Lad to Carl: Good day Mr Carl,

there are a decimal point had been moved in the paperwork and it was discovered during the scanning done at customs, am very embarrassed by the error made i congratulate your good fortune, and before the atm will start coming you to pay $30,000 to apologize for the mistake. So please do contact Mr Gomez to confirm it from him.
($30K? Where did THAT come from? He’s testing Gomez’s patience…bad idea.)
----
Lad to Gomez: Message delivered.
----
Gomez: It's a good thing I keep an eye on what you do, you made almost no sense in the message to Carl. You need to do EXACTLY as I tell you. Is that not sinking into your thick fucking skull? If you're not smart enough to play for the big money, find someone who is. We're very close and I don't want you to fuck this up.

Fortunately you got ONE thing right, the decimal. I'm sure I'll hear from Carl this morning and will be able to spell it out for him.

Next time, FOLLOW MY FUCKING INSTRUCTIONS
----
Gomez (apparently calmed down for the moment): Carl is one seriously excited old man, he actually believes me. We're going to get together this weekend so that we can discuss some of the taxes that may come up and how you and I can help him to make sure it's all good and he gets his millions.

I'll contact you on Monday to get started on the excise tax. As we've been doing, you'll tell him what needs to be paid and I'll assure him that it's legitimate. This looks very, very promising.
-----
Gomez (Monday morning): The meeting with Carl went perfectly. Time for the next step. As I mentioned to you, Hawaii has a general excise tax that must be paid on all transactions. Inform him that his card is in the United States but cannot enter Hawaii until this is paid. The amount is $116,250 and he was warned that this might happen. Have him again contact me for confirmation.
----
Gomez (now it’s Tuesday): Well? What the fuck?

Get off your ass before we lose this chance, you idiot.
----
(And then our lad decides he’s going to go rogue, totally ignoring the fact the Carl isn’t getting his messages. Brain surgeon he’s not.)
Lad to Carl (sent five times in a minute): Dear Sir,
I want to let you know that this very fee that you supposed to send will be send down here in Benin republic, but if that will not be possible you have to go to your bank and order them to send it for you, and make sure they send it and give you the details which they used to send the money into our agent account in usa,

TAKE NOTE: you will send it by yourself so that there will not be any fee again I knew you trust your attorney that why your atm have not been sent to you since, you have to stop telling people about this delivery here even your attorney because there is a criminal act here,

You go to the bank direct them to send the sum of $20,000usd maybe your attorney have has told you that it will be $100,000 but not, that why I told you there is a criminal activates trying to steal money from you, so please do as I told you and stop telling your attorney what is going on because he don’t want to see you receive this atm,

Also stop him from opening your email address because there is some thing we received that is not from you, your atm is about to get to you once you do as I said and don’t tell anyone again even your attorney please Sir, if you really want to receive your atm starting from now,

Know this since you contacted your attorney about this delivery things are not going well as you and I plain, stop giving him money to go and send because is not getting to the real person here, now go to your bank by your self and send us this fee now to clear everything by tomorrowmorning you will have your atm, once you do as I directed you.

Here is the details you will use to send us the fee of $20,000usd now

(Same old WU info.)

Waiting to hear from you soon with the details you used to send us the fee and please ask your attorney to give you the slips he used to send all those fee for you.
----
Gomez: Are you really this fucking stupid? Do you really think I'm going to let Carl get your emails? What the hell are you doing?

Why are you trying to get a lousy 20000 when there are HUNDREDS of thousands for the taking? Look, it's really simple. Do as I say or I'll find some other stupid African to work with me before we lost this chance.

QUIT FUCKING AROUND YOU MORON

(The lad’s answer was Emogis of two eyes, a punching fist and a thumbs-down. Beats me what the heck he meant.)
----
Gomez: Cute.

So that's it? You're giving up, even though it costs you NOTHING and you have a fucking fortune to gain?

Please feel free to explain that, you idiot
----
(And a parting shot on the way out.)
Gomez: Fine, you really ARE the stupidest 419 loser in all of Africa. You could have been rich, you moron. Now you get nothing.

Don't tell your boss what you did, he'll shoot you in the head to rid the world of an idiot.

If this is the best you can do you better go get a real job or you'll starve to death
----
Good fun the whole way and the lad never knew he was being baited, my favorite way to finish. Thanks for reading. Who knows, maybe he’ll come back.

Posted: Wed Feb 25, 2015 1:31 am

Absolutely classic, Lou!

I love your evil attorney baits. Once I get a little further down the road, I might be stealing some of your ideas for one of my own baits.

Posted: Wed Feb 25, 2015 8:05 pm

As always, baiting modalities are in the public domain!

Bringing in a foul-mouthed prick really is fun. Therapeutic on some days!

419Eater is my life Joined: 18 Jan 2010 Posts: 357

A treat to read as always. Looking forward to more in the future (hint, hint). Wink

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