I Learned Something New

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Posted: Sun Dec 28, 2014 9:40 pm

Yes—I learned something new today. And nothing that deals with baiting. It deals with my store-bought pudding always turning watery a few days after I open the container. As a note I frequently wake up at around 2:00 a.m. or so and raid the fridge for a snack. These snacks are sometimes peanut butter sandwiches, potato chips and french onion dip, coleslaw, or chocolate pudding. Not all of them at once, but those are the things I snack on at night. And a big glass of milk.

It seems it’s because I eat out of the container itself (instead of being prissy and well-mannered and putting the serving in a separate bowl). I have found out that enzymes from my saliva break down the pudding and will turn my container of pudding into a liquid mess.

So I have learned a valuable lesson—I will in the future now eat the entire goddamn container (all 22 ounces of it) at once. And hopefully I won’t puke an hour later!

I refuse to put that pudding in a bowl and eat it. Suppose I decide that the bowlful of pudding wasn’t enough? That maybe I actually wanted a bowl-and-a-half? It is much easier to just eat outof the damn container. If God didn’t want us to eat out of containers, he would not have invented containers. And it would also mean an extra bowl I have to wash!

And just for shock value—I drink out of the milk container. I doubledip (actually tripledip) my potato chips and dip.

I also leave the toilet seat up. I sit in my computer chair and fart whenver I want. I refuse to recycle, and sometimes I don’t wash my hands after taking a leak.

But—I am getting off topic. I just wanted to let you all know that if you ever get containers of pudding that turn to liquid a day or two later after opening, it’s probably because you are eating out of the container (and I do not disapprove of that).

After all—I am single and can do whatever the hell I want to.

Posted: Sun Dec 28, 2014 9:54 pm

You tell 'em Doc!

Laughing

Posted: Sun Dec 28, 2014 10:05 pm

^^Thank you.

It is time that single people stand up and be heard!

To point at the married folks and those in relationships and stick out our tongues and go "nahnahnahnah" [while wiggling our fingers and having our thumb in our ears) and rejoice in our singleness.

And to demand that the goddamn pudding makers make pudding that won't turn into liquid because I eat it out of the container.

As an aside--I got a few glaring looks at the laundrymat this morning when I let a few farts rip loose.

Posted: Sun Dec 28, 2014 10:30 pm

Momma and your Doc know best. LOL.

Posted: Sun Dec 28, 2014 10:33 pm

Quote:

I got a few glaring looks at the laundrymat this morning when I let a few farts rip loose.

And you wonder why you're single?

Posted: Sun Dec 28, 2014 10:44 pm

^^Good point!

But they were old ladies Smile

Posted: Sun Dec 28, 2014 11:20 pm

^
What exactly is this 'pudding' you refer to? - It covers a whole gamut of edible things.

Please tell me more, I am interested.

Posted: Mon Dec 29, 2014 12:27 am

^^Sorry about that. Here is a google I did (instead of hosting images):

https://www.google.com/search?q=chocolate+pudding&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8

Posted: Mon Dec 29, 2014 12:36 am

Quote:

I doubledip (actually tripledip) my potato chips and dip.

ha ha ha! I was out to dinner in a moderately expensive Mexican food restaurant with family including my young nieces, One of them stood up on the chair with half eaten chip in hand and asked, for the whole place to hear, if we all family. When we affirmed that we were, she said, "Good, that means I can double dip". Laughing

We all looked at my brother, including fellow patrons.

I think we all do the same things as you do dwatina, we just aren't brave enough to admit it. Wink

Not quite a Newb Joined: 14 Jul 2005 Posts: 41

Most likely the strangest post of December.

Posted: Mon Dec 29, 2014 1:43 am

I don't fart in the Laundromat. (But then I never go there as I have Machines in house)
Laughing

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 05 Mar 2009 Posts: 582

dwatina wrote:

And just for shock value—I drink out of the milk container. I doubledip (actually tripledip) my potato chips and dip.

I also leave the toilet seat up. I sit in my computer chair and fart whenver I want. I refuse to recycle, and sometimes I don’t wash my hands after taking a leak.

After all—I am single and can do whatever the hell I want to.

I eat ice cream, sherbert, yogurt right out of the container.

I drink out of the juice container, double dip my chips and salsa. I have to close the toilet seat (I have a dog). No comment on the others.

I live by myself and am enjoying it.

Posted: Mon Dec 29, 2014 3:13 am

^^You go MW! Stand proud!

@tsnerd: I do not agree that my thread / post is the strangest of December. This is a very serious issue. A 22-ounce container of pudding costs around four dollars. I get to eat about a a third of it, and then it turns to liquid. I lose two thirds of it as I have to throw it out.

I think this is serious enough that I think I will have to get a lad to investigate this outrage. And possibly get the United Nations involved.

@Big Al: Well--aren't you special? You have your own washers and dryers? Watch out that I don't have a lad shove you in one or the other! Smile

@SBAH: My neice did the same thing several years ago, but she looked at her mother (my sister) and yelled--YOU DOUBLE DIPPED! The whole restaurant got quiet....

As a note: I sure wish that Pastor Frank was here. I would love his input.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 14 Jul 2005 Posts: 41

Quote:

And possibly get the United Nations involved.

Entirely not like me at all, but:
Laughing

Posted: Mon Dec 29, 2014 9:21 am

dwatina wrote:

A 22-ounce container of pudding costs around four dollars. I get to eat about a a third of it, and then it turns to liquid. I lose two thirds of it as I have to throw it out.

Buy the individual pudding cups? They come in a six pack. Open what you need, and the rest remain uncontminated by all the enzyme-rich saliva.

Alternatively; you could suck it through a straw. Just sayin'... Laughing

Posted: Mon Dec 29, 2014 2:52 pm

^^The individual ones are too small Sad

Pudding through a straw does not sound tasty.

I do know the tapioca one that got watery was gross.

Baiting Guru Joined: 31 Jan 2007 Posts: 12237

dwatina wrote:

As a note: I sure wish that Pastor Frank was here. I would love his input.

You rang?

Posted: Mon Dec 29, 2014 4:11 pm

^^I am curious what you think about eating pudding out of the containers and double-dipping.

Baiting Guru Joined: 31 Jan 2007 Posts: 12237

I'll address double dipping first, it's just plain rude, unless you are by yourself (or Canadian).

Pudding is something to be enjoyed amongst friends, please specify type and flavor.

Posted: Mon Dec 29, 2014 4:21 pm

^^Double dipping is done by myself at home. No one else is sharing.

The pudding is usually chocolate pudding, but sometimes Rice or Tapioca.

It is eaten by myself. My friends can buy their own damn pudding.

I will let you comment on rudeness and lack of couth of Canadians, as that seems to be your area of expertise Smile

Baiting Guru Joined: 31 Jan 2007 Posts: 12237

dwatina wrote:

I will let you comment on rudeness and lack of couth of Canadians, as that seems to be your area of expertise

A vile people.

"Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect."

-Mark Twain

Posted: Mon Dec 29, 2014 4:29 pm

^^That is a very nice quote by Mark Twain. Thank you for sharing, Sir.

Not quite a Newb Joined: 14 Jul 2005 Posts: 41

Quote:

My friends can buy their own damn pudding.

A philosophy that should be embraced by all.

Something the mods dream up Joined: 22 Apr 2014 Posts: 906

^^^I agree, except my former friends were not really friends at all since I became a carer. They have all disappeared, so I get to eat my own puddings. Spotted dick is my fave.

Posted: Mon Dec 29, 2014 5:06 pm

^^
A spotted dick sounds painful.