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 Reverend Jimmy

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Linoline
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Joined: 06 Apr 2018
Posts: 4335
Location: Do not meddle in the affairs of Dragons for you are small and crunchy and taste good with ketchup


PostPosted: Sun Mar 29, 2020 6:35 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

At the beginning of March Jimmy sent Birlic his format to a compensation scam. He fell right into the loving arms of the sacred church of the holy lamb

Friday March 13
Quote:
Son, I think this is a major confusion. I do not understand your message and I do not know who you are referring to.
We, the Holy Church of the Sacred Lamb do not do business with people who are not part of our congregation.
But if we can help someone, then we do it with great joy. Glory to the Holy Lamb, glory to Jesus!

Be blessed, in the sacred name of our Holy Lamb!
Reverend Ed


Monday March 17
Quote:
Dear Rev. Ed,

My name is Mr. Jimmy, I can't write english very well but pleased. I am a native of Anambra state of Nigeria, I based in North Kano state, but I am searching for help contacting Churches, Pastors and woman of Gods for assisting I and my family due to Bokoharam in Nigeria demolishing my house and business I was leaving un-rooms house with my 4 children 2 boys and 2 girls.

Receive this message with pure heart and see what you can do to assist us in one way or the other you can pleased.

For more information call or sms *** or ***.

Thanks and God Blessed you


Quote:
Son,

The Faith is not something that is learned in school, but something you are born with. Please tell me if you are a Christian man and believe in God. Our sacred church is a Christian Church, and we believe that Jesus is that Holy Lamb who sacrificed on the Cross for the sins of humanity. We are trying to follow His Path, His Truth and His Faith! Hallelujah, amen!

If you are really a Christian man, if you want to be with us, if you feel that the Call is strong in your soul and if you think you could be our local Reverend there, then we can discuss it in detail. Please, think very well and do not rush! The Faith is something you choose to share with your brothers and sisters! You will have the opportunity to be our representative and you will have to take care of all your sheep there. There will be both responsibilities but also some spiritual and material benefits (monthly salary and spending budget for the Parish).

Be blessed!
Glory to the Holy Lamb, glory to Jesus!
Rev. Ed


Quote:
Dear Rev. Ed,

Yes, I and my Family are pure Christian, My Wife from a levite Family which she has a called from God as a prophetess going house to house Hospital and Motherless home praying for people. We are watch-ping with **** Church. Our life today is for good people God chosen to serve him. Yes, we can join, My wife is able to hold Church representing branch here.

Once again, as am writing this message it take me 1.2Omns walking to go check email because I don't have a laptop own my own. Please remember, I eat from hand to mouth hoping that God will use you and your Church member to remember my family.

I am waiting for your reply.

Regards

For more information call or sms ******.

Thanks and God Blessed you

Mr. Jimmy


Tuesday March 17
Quote:
Son, let me confess that your sincere words delight me and make me think that maybe you are the providential man we need to set up a new Parish. Please tell me a few details about you, about the city where you live and want to set up our Parish, about your future thoughts and about your projects. Do you think the people around you will support your project? Are you able to gather those lost sheep of the flock near you?
I am waiting for your answer, to see if we can go on together.

Blessings,
Rev. Ed


Quote:
Dear Rev. Ed

Am so happy to see your message this morning, I Jimmy, I was born in 18/08/1980. my originated is Anambra state but I stay in Kano state, My occupations is House builder Engineer from it I setup business because work is not everyday. I marriage my wife in the Year 2010 with 4 children. Moslem start killing and destroying Christians house and their business in Year 2016. we run to big Catholic Church stay their over good 7 months before government come rescue, we move from the state to another State Ogun where moslem are few. we engaged in church activities to the extent my wife going to house to house to pray for people and convicting so many souls to Christ. My future thoughts, is to face Christ and do God's wills as people have already known us. God is using my wife to heals and delivering people from afflictions and bondage, Yes, we assured you that many will join us because they really believed the way God is using my wife to ministering people.

Regards

For more information call or sms ********.

Thanks and God Blessed you

Mr. Jimmy


Quote:
Dear my son, dear Ubah, God bless you!
Can I tell you on your name Ubah? I hope so.

I feel an enormous joy when I read your words, especially as I recognize in them the seed of Faith and I can see with the mind's eye how from that seed can grow the Tree of Knowledge. Our Savior Jesus willingly climbed the Cross, wanting to take on his shoulders all the burden of mankind's sins; so do we with those around us. We help them, we defend them, we offer them support and protection. God help us!

Let me tell you that we are a Christian Church, we believe in God Almighty and we think Jesus is the Son of God. Our main headquarters is in Aberdeen (UK) and we have few branches in America, Canada, Europe and Africa. We do charity and support especially the orphans and the homeless. All of our religious, cultural and charity actions can be watched on our church website: ******

I am Ed and I work for The Lord as Reverend-Chancellor of this Holy Church; the leadership of our entire community is provided by His Excellency The Great Cardinal **** , God bless Him! The secret dream of His Excellency Cardinal **** is to succeed in building an African Cathedral, from which we can start evangelizing all the poor people in entire african continent. We already have a small parish in Mozambique and another in Senegal, but we want to find a man dedicated to the Faith on which we can rely and who will become our future BOA (Bishop of Africa).

Our church phone number is **** and Father Lenny is in charge of taking calls to the parish. If you need me, it's more useful to communicate by email because Lenny has many many moments in forgetting to write down all the details and I do not want to make any trouble. He is too old and suffers from Alzheimer, but he is a faithful soul who has been with us for the last 40 years.

Son, if Faith is strong in your heart and if you have some trustworthy people around you who want to follow you, then we are willing to give you the chance to become our new Reverend and to establish our new Parish. It is a huge responsibility, which comes with benefits as well as obligations. If you accept this important task, then you and your people must become members of our community and be baptized in the sacred spirit of the Holy Lamb. The Admission Process is something formal, but it must be done according to our Sacred Rules. The secretary of the church will assist you throughout the entire process and it will explain all the necessary steps, so that it will be easy for you to understand what the requirements are.

Your final Baptism Ceremony is equivalent to the official recognition of the existence of your new Parish and your appointment as Local Reverend. The development and charity budget as well as the monthly salaries for you and your assistants will be discussed immediately after graduation. Also, usually an installation bonus is offered for the Reverend (for the proper equipping of the parish with all the necessary equipment - computers, telephones, printers, etc. and for purchasing all the necessary materials for the daily activity). But all these are just minor details that will be treated separately, immediately after the final Baptism Ceremony.

Think well and talk to all those around you about this responsibility; you don't have to give me the answer right now. Look into your soul and find the answer there!
Be blessed, in the sacred name of our Holy Lamb!
Rev. Ed


Quote:
Dear Rev. Ed,

Thanks for your message received and understanding my English. Absolutely Yes I and my family faith is strong and are willing and ready to do God work with you, I want you to know that member are easy for us and I want to tell our senior pastor about this he is like father to me and my father and he is a senior pastor in **** Church receiving salary, if he can join us together for us to archive a place and get members from him and my wife member that coming prayer.

We need many work to do like print out hand bills and do rally to crate awareness to people that we want to open new Church but I will talk to our senior pastor and get back to you what he said.

I and my family no need to think much because this is opportunity we are waiting for Okay. The little problems am having is that I don't have money with me, I do walking hours plus to come to cyber cafe to check email and go back. as am telling you right now nothing in my house to eat as food this night and tomorrow, Please if you can help me small for the sake of my children please no amount is small sir?

I will come tomorrow morning to check email and hoping to read your message as well sir.

Regards

For more information call or sms *******

Thanks and God Blessed you

Mr. Jimmy


Quote:
Brother Jimmy, God bless you!
If your decision is final and you want to become our new Reverend in Nigeria, then please contact our Congregation Secretary (the Sister Dave) and begin the Admissions procedure immediately. If all goes well, in maximum 3 weeks we can register our new parish there and we can send the first financial funds necessary for the operation (salaries, development budget and installation bonus). It all depends on you and the people around you. A good Reverend has the support of his community, this is the essence of a functional parish! After you will be appointed as the local Reverend of our new Parish there, we will continue with the legal registration with the local authorities. It will be your duty to deal with the issue of all the necessary authorizations. We will discuss all these details at the right time and we will define together the annual budget that will be allocated to your parish (the salary for you and your assistants, the installation bonus, the amounts needed for the local charity, the amounts needed for the daily functioning of the parish, etc.).

Dear sister Dave, blessings!
Please guide our brother Jimmy and make sure he understands and respects all our procedures. He is a good Christian, he's a responsible and trustworthy man, so I decided to give him the opportunity to become our local Reverend and to establish a new parish there. Explain to him all the necessary steps and help him with all the information that he will ask for. He is already a Christian man and has summary knowledge about our Religion, so we will apply the summary procedure for Admission (only those last 3 steps) and then we will allow them to finish the Admittance process with the Baptism Ceremony.

I want to be kept up to date with the evolution of the admission process and the related formalities.
I will intervene as often as necessary.


Glory to the Holy Lamb, glory to Jesus!
Be blessed, all of you, in the sacred name of our Holy Lamb!
Rev. Ed


And so a new adventure begins

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Last edited by Linoline on Sun Mar 29, 2020 9:08 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Linoline
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Joined: 06 Apr 2018
Posts: 4335
Location: Do not meddle in the affairs of Dragons for you are small and crunchy and taste good with ketchup


PostPosted: Sun Mar 29, 2020 7:06 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

March 18
I was waiting for him to contact Sister Dave, as instructed, but he didn't

Rev. Ed
Quote:
Sister Dave,
Please take the case and act according to our internal Regulation.

Blessings,
Rev. Ed


Sister Dave
Quote:
Dear brother Jimmy

I am happy to hear that you want to become a new reverend for our great church and spread the word among the people around you. It is always a joy when the Lord adds to our flock and sends us strong and willing leaders who want to be the shepherds to the local sheep around them and guide them on the way to divinity.

Before we can start the procedure of becoming a reverend, as you might understand, it is vital that you first become a member of our church. For this it is required to fill a form and to make a proof of faith picture, which every of our members have done before you. It is just a formality before we can start your installment as a local reverend, so I want to ask you to please fill out the form attached to this email in red ink and send a scanned or clear photographed copy back to me at your earliest convenience.

Be blessed
Sister Dave


Jimmy
Quote:
Dear Sister Dave, Good Morning.

Thanks for your email received with form attach to file, I will do it as soon as and return it back to you .

Regards

For more information call or sms *** ***.

Thanks and God Blessed you

Mr. Jimmy


Jimmy to rev. Ed
Quote:
Dear Rev. Ed, Good Morning Sir.

Yes, I received email your email together with Sister Dave email with attach form I will file and return with my photo. I will do it soon and return it to her and inform you that I have done it. Once again, thanks and more rewards from God.

Regards

For more information call or sms *****.

Thanks and God Blessed you

Mr. Jimmy


Rev. Ed
Quote:
Son, thank you for your confirmation message. God bless you!
Please keep in touch with our secretary Dave and do all you can to get this bureaucratic formality completed as soon as possible. I would be pleased to be able to start the practical discussions regarding the charity and sponsorship program of your parish. In the first year, we will sponsor your charity actions 100% (the annual budget is $45,000 / parish) and, within 10 years, you will reach the situation where your parish can self-finance from its own funds.

But, let's not anticipate anything yet and let's focus on your Admittance process. Please also consider a number of Personal Assistants (recruited from the members of your parish who participate most in our actions) who will receive, like you, a monthly salary. The minimum number is 4 assistants per parish, and the maximum number is 12 persons (as in the case of the Apostles of Jesus).

Be blessed, in the sacred name of our Holy Lamb!
Rev. Ed


Sister Dave
Quote:
Dear brother Jimmy,

I have been waiting to hear back from you all day, but you didn't send me the form yet. It's only a simple task that shouldn't take much time at all. If you have any problems printing the form, rest assured, it will be taken care of once you are a reverend. We will then support you with a financial donation for the new parish, an installment bonus and a support package with electronical products to get the new parish operational.
For the time being, if you can not print the form, you can write out the complete form by hand and write the answers in a different color ink.
I hope to receive the filled form back from you tomorrow.

Be blessed
Sister Dave


Thursday March 19
Quote:
Dear Sister Dave, Good Morning.

Sorry for my delaying its scanning that took me long time but Glory be to Almighty God I final completed it. Pleased, read my writing carefully am not too good in English.

I will be waiting to hear from you,


Regards

For more information call or sms ****.

Thanks and God Blessed you

Mr. Jimmy


Image

He even colored the lamb. He really put some effort in it

Image

Image

Rev Ed
Quote:
Dear Jimmy, dear my Son,
I am delighted to see your dedication and enthusiasm, especially in these difficult times when humanity is going through the COVID19 virus crisis. I have already seen the materials sent by you and Sister Dave will guide you further to the next stage of your Admission process. I hope that everything will be resolved by the end of the month, so that the Holy Days of the Easter bring Light and Happiness to your new Parish. Together we will be able to do many wonderful things for poor people who need help.

Blessings,
Rev. Ed


Sister Dave
Quote:
Dear brother Jimmy,

Thank you for sending the filled form back to me. Don't worry about your English. I can understand it perfectly.
The second and final step of becoming a member of our church is the 'Proof of Faith' picture. All our new members make them and the pictures of aspiring reverends will be displayed on the wall of our church hall for some time, so all parishoners can become familiar with the new reverends. The donations of our parishioners are the funds that will pay the salaries for the reverends and parishes until they are self-sufficient.

I have attached the document that you will need to print. Hold it in front of your chest, and have someone make a picture of you in bright daylight so you will be completely visible and please send that back to me.

After this we can work on the process of you becoming our new reverend.

Be blessed
Sister Dave


Jimmy is wasting no time
Quote:
Dear Sister Dave,

I received your email and done your request as you said.

I will be waiting to hear from you,


Regards

For more information call or sms ******.

Thanks and God Blessed you

Mr. Jimmy


Image

Image

Sister Dave
Quote:
Dear brother Jimmy,

Thank you for sending these pictures to me without delay. I'm happy to see that you take this seriously. I will present the form and picture to the elders today and will get back to you with more information about the initiation process for you to become a reverend for our church after they have approved your membership.

Be blessed
Sister Dave


Jimmy
Quote:
Dear Rev. Ed, Good Day Sir.

Before your email came in this morning I was gone home, I received another email with attach from Sister V. and I follow her instruction as she said and you will receive copy of the email too.

I will be Waiting for feedback.

Regards

For more information call or sms ******

Thanks and God Blessed you

Mr. Jimmy


Rev Ed
Quote:
Very good my son, very good!
The sooner the accession formalities are completed, the better for your new Parish. You will be able to preach the Truth and the Right Way and you will be able to bring happiness to the people around you. We will make sure that these things happen!

Sister Dave, I like the enthusiasm of our young brother Ubah! I feel the Faith in him and I want him to go through the stages of Accession as soon as possible. Please, speak to the Committee of the Elders and, for the 2nd Stage assign "the theme of Moses", because our brother Ubah has the grace to gather the faithful of the parish near him, just as Moses gathered the tribe of Israel near him.

Be blessed, all of you!
Rev. Ed


Friday March 20
Jimmy
Quote:
Dear Sister Dave,

Okay, I will be waiting for out coming from the elders meeting for my initiation process to become a new member of **** Church.

I will be waiting to hear from you,


Regards

For more information call or sms ******.

Thanks and God Blessed you

Mr. Jimmy


Jimmy to rev. Ed
Quote:
Dear Rev. Ed, Good Morning Sir.

Thanks, I appreciate and I will do my best to bring lost souls back to Christ Sir.

I will be Waiting for feedback.

Regards

For more information call or sms *****.

Thanks and God Blessed you

Mr. Jimmy


Sister Dave
Quote:
Dear brother Jimmy,

The elders have decided that your application have been approved and I want to officially welcome you as a brother to our church. Praised be the Holy Lamb for adding to our flock! You already have proven yourself to be a man of the faith and one of our true brothers so the Lord couldn't have chosen better than to send you to fulfil this task and spread the word in your country.

There are a few steps that need to be taken to become a reverend. You can view these as your spiritual journey to prepare you for your task to lead a parish and be shepherd of your own flock. You don't need to worry about anything, because these steps will not be hard to do, but you will need to prepare them in prayer and guidance of the Lord.

To become a reverend, first you need to gather a few disciples to help you with the tasks in front of you. Jesus had 12 apostles, so the preferred number would be 12, but since this is a very new decision that you have made, we will not expect you to have 12 disciples already, this process might take some more time, so we suggest that you start with 4 people to help you. You will need them also to pray for you and the task that lies ahead of you. It is of utmost importance and the disciples will each earn a salary once your parish is operational, which will not be as much as the reverend, but we expect them to dedicate their time to the new parish and they will need to provide for their living as well.

Together with these disciples you will have to recreate a Biblical scene, the one where Moses parts the sea after the Lord has led them out of Egypt. You will have to dress in a robe, wearing a cloak, or something resembling these clothes and hold a rod in your hand like moses did. Your disciples will need to be dressed equally but it should be clear that you are their leader, like Moses was the leader of the Israelites when God led them away from Egypt. Pray together and read the Biblical story to feel the message that the Lord wanted to give us through this history. Then you will find a place close to water. This should preferably be the sea, a river or a stream, but if you can't find it, a lake, or even, by lack of that, a swimming pool will be accepted. Since this is about your reenactment of the scene and not the scenery itself. You will need to act out 4 different parts of the story and from each of these parts you will have to send us 5 pictures, so a total of at least 20 pictures is what we expect you to send us.

- Moses and the people kneeling down praying to the Lord
- Moses with raised hands while the people are still kneeling
- Moses with his rod raised to the sky, people looking in awe at the parted waters
- Moses and the people with raised hands praising the Lord for the miracle of salvation.

Remember that this is a spiritual process which has to be guided by prayer of you and your disciples. We don't expect you to rush this process and send us these pictures today, but we do expect you to keep communicating with us about the progress you are making in the preparations for this task that will prepare you to be the leader of your own flock.

Be blessed
Sister Dave


Saturday March 21
Jimmy to rev. Ed
Quote:
Dear Rev. Ed, Good Day Sir.

I received email from Sister Dave, in respect of the required steps to take for the establishment of the parish. I understood them and i would like you to understand the following:

1. I appreciated the instructions and ready to follow as directed, mostly in prayer but as i don't have a good android phone to take the picture as directed.

2. I need to go into serious prayer before i pick the 4 persons as required,therefore i need direction of the holy spirit. but the challenges is their wears as requested as i may not know if the would be 4 members will be able to provided for themselves in respect of transportation and other logistics issues.

3. There must be a place for the water baptism and prayer as required,but transportation to the place will be a changeling due to my financial status for now.

4. I am happy to be a member and i would like to have the operational guide line of this church and guiding rule of new parishes and employed members. this is very important to enable me guide and educate everyone god will give me as members until we get up . it is very important to work with fear of God and with respect to humanity. we all must serve God with love.

I appreciate God Almighty for what He set to do in this new parish when we start functioning.

Daddy, I will wait to hear from you concerns above listed needs before I will reply back to Sister Dave.

Regards

For more information call or sms *****.

Thanks and God Blessed you

Mr. Jimmy


Rev. Ed
Quote:
Son, first of all I would like to point out that we have no secrets! OK?
It is useless (and rude in the same time) to write me a message telling me that Secretary Dave found out later. Of course, I will inform her about everything we are discussing here, as she also makes public all the messages received. The Elders Council is informed non-stop about the evolution of our aspirants, and the decisions are made only after the current discussions and analyzes.

The Church's regulations will be sent to you as soon as you have been appointed Reverend of the Holy Church and you will receive the Baptism. Until then, all you have to do is follow the directions from Sister Dave and nothing else!

The operations of sponsoring the parish, the paying of the the installation bonus as well as monthly salaries, discussing the annual spending budget as well as all the practical discussions regarding the daily operation of the branch will be discussed only after your official installation and after the parish will be recorded in our records. Until then, please take into account the indications received from our secretary and comply, so that at the end of the month we can declare the Admission formalities successfully completed!

Be blessed,
Rev. Ed


Jimmy to Sister Dave
Quote:
Dear Sister Dave,

I received email from Sister Dave, in respect of the required steps to take for the establishment of the parish. I understood them and i would like you to understand the following:

1. I appreciated the instructions and ready to follow as directed, mostly in prayer but as i don't have a good android phone to take the picture as directed.

2. I need to go into serious prayer before i pick the 4 persons as required,therefore i need direction of the holy spirit. but the challenges is their wears as requested as i may not know if the would be 4 members will be able to provided for themselves in respect of transportation and other logistics issues.

3. There must be a place for the water baptism and prayer as required,but transportation to the place will be a changeling due to my financial status for now.

4. I am happy to be a member and i would like to have the operational guide line of this church and guiding rule of new parishes and employed members. this is very important to enable me guide and educate everyone god will give me as members until we get up . it is very important to work with fear of God and with respect to humanity. we all must serve God with love.

I appreciate God Almighty for what He set to do in this new parish when we start functioning.


Daddy, I will wait to hear from you concerns above listed needs before I will reply back to Sister Dave.

Regards

For more information call or sms *****.

Thanks and God Blessed you

Mr. Jimmy


Sister Dave
Quote:
Dear brother Jimmy,

My name is Dave, not Daddy and I don't appreciate you addressing me that way. It's respectless.

As for your concerns:
1. You made the proof of faith picture without any problem, the quality was clear, you can use the same device to make these pictures
2. At this moment you do not need to worry about the providing of your helpers. This task is not one that will cost them anything but a little time devoted to the Lords work. They will receive their monthly salary once you are officially a reverend and your parish is operational.
3. You do not need to travel for the baptism, but you will receive instructions about the ceremony when the time is there. You are worried about things you don't yet need to be thinking about. Remember it is all in the Lord's hands.
4. Right now you don't yet need operational guidelines. Spreading the word of the Lord is most important and your task right now is to spiritually prepare you for that and for you to be able to lead your future parishoners. The task you have now is to choose your helpers. A minimum of 4 and maximum of 12. You need to do this through prayer so you know that it is the Lord who has sent them to you to fulfil this task. For the time being they can continue their current day-jobs, but later on, when the parish is operational they need to quit their jobs and will receive a monthly salary to provide very well for their families, just like you will once you are officially a reverend.

I have seen in your message to father Ed that you are worried about the type of clothes you should wear for the reenactment of the scene. Please do not worry too much about this, because, as I told you, it's mostly a spiritual task. If you don't have robes and can't borrow them, you can use bed sheets or dresses. The task isn't so much about the clothes as about your spiritual preparation. If you use your regular clothing you will not be able to take on the spiritual role of Moses as leader of the tribe of Isreal.

The place you will use for this scene, as I told you, you do not need to travel far. If there's no ocean or lake within reach, you can use a stream or even a swimming pool. If you don't even have that, then please take as many buckets of water as you can get and put them together on an open place where you will reenact the scene. I'm sure with prayer and a little creativity you will be able to solve all these minor issues. Your ability to do so will show your ability to become a great leader of your future parish.

I hope I have sufficiently informed you about the task that lies ahead of you and I wish you Gods divine wisdom in picking your helpers. We will all be praying for you.

Be blessed
Sister Dave


Jimmy
Quote:
Dear Sister Dave.

Sorry for my mistakes I did taken my corrections Sister Dave.

Therefore, what am asking is android phone because am using small phone not camera phone with small money I will use to company 4 person for the prayers as directed.

I used borrowing android phone from a friend house but he can't release his phone to me to go for the prayers. am hereby pleasing and begging for assistance from the Church to assist me buy Andros phone because I cant afford the money to buy the android phone.

Please and Please, am asking for the Church to assist me get an android phone to make the coverage pictures when we are praying in the beech water.


Regards

For more information call or sms *****.

Thanks and God Blessed you

Mr. Jimmy


Sister Dave
Quote:
Dear brother Jimmy,

How dare you make such audacious requests. It is completely inappropriate. I have explained to you several times now that this initiation process is to prepare you for the task of becoming a reverend and leading your own parish. It is your responsibility to show that you can overcome problems. Among your helpers there must be someone with a phone who can make pictures or you will explain the severity of the situation to the person whom you borrowed it from the last time. You can not complain to me every time you encounter such a small problem.
We have mentioned before that once your initiation process is completed you will receive financial support, a monthly salary and support in the form of electronic devices you will need for your parish. I will put an android phone on the list of things you will need and you will receive that, and the other products you will choose when the time is there, after you have finished the complete initiation process.

Be blessed
Sister Dave


Jimmy
Quote:
Dear Sister Dave.

Okay, Sister Dave, I will try work on that and get back to you from next week. God will be my strength to overcome this task in Jesus name Amen.

Regards

For more information call or sms *****

Thanks and God Blessed you

Mr. Jimmy


He does take his slaps with grace Laughing

_________________
Golden Pig x5 Closed lad accounts x1144 Vcamera x143 Safari x30 Tattoo x4 Sand Timer x4 The Church of the Old Gods Mortar Whip Jack Boot Flying Monkey Mc Fry 🍆 Santa 🍰

My Collection of lad frustration

"I never taught you to be evil. But carry on" - Oscarpiles
"You are diabolically evil...." - Sparky905
"It really sucks to be a scamming lad around Linoline." Conny L. Gus
"You put money in the parcel now am suffering you are not helping" Sven
"You put me through this with all the bastard you called your client" Daniboy
"IF YOUR FUCKING MOTHER ISN'T FUCKING DEAD BY NOW SHE'S A MIRACLE OF SCIENCE OR FRANKENSTEINS FUCKING BABY" - Mary to Elmo
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Linoline
Dume Dutch Bag


Joined: 06 Apr 2018
Posts: 4335
Location: Do not meddle in the affairs of Dragons for you are small and crunchy and taste good with ketchup


PostPosted: Sun Mar 29, 2020 7:19 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

The moses scene would've been nice, but like our other baits, this lad also got reassigned with another task to do. We don't want them to work in groups and risking the corona virus spreading, so he also needed a task to perform solo

Sunday March 22
Sister Dave
Quote:
Dear brother Jimmy

In the light of the Corona virus outbreak, news has reached us that in several countries in Africa the government issued that it is not allowed anymore to gather in large groups anymore. I don't know about the current situation in your country, but the elders decided to take matters into their own hands and not take any risks in this exceptional situation. Of course we will not ask you to go against your government regulantions and we want everybody to remain safe, so you shouldn't gather a large group of people right now if your government prohibits that. Instead of reenacting the biblical scene the elders have decided to give you a task you can fulfil by yourself.

You need to read the book Exodus in the Bible and draw out the stories from the whole book. The stories with Moses, the burning bush, all the plagues, tha Passover, the escape from Egypt, the passing through the sea and all other stories. You need to draw a minimum of 20 drawings, but personally I believe you will need to make more in order to project the complete book of Exodus.

You can send me pictures of your work everytime you have finished some so that we can monitor your progress and guide it when needed. Father Eduard and the other elders will be unavailable for communications in the next few days. The exact time isn't known right now, but they have retreated in their chambers for a time of prayer and fasting.

Be blessed,
Sister Dave


Monday March 23
Jimmy
Quote:
Dear Sister Dave.

Thank for your email received this morning. Yes Covid-19 our Government put many stops like Schools, Churches,Public Gathering .
I like this Elder's task I can do in my house to read the book Exodus in the Bible and draw out the stories from the whole book. I have a question; After my reading should I rewrite it down in another book and take picture with it and send, e.g when am reading and rewriting ??

I went house to house Evangelist Saturday and Sunday telling people about this Church, but they do asking me questions concerns this Church, who is the founder of the Church,when did this started and profile of the Church the picture of congregation and church. I told them I will get back to them. The truth I observed last weekend is that people likes interesting in Foreign Church it's new Church coming to Nigeria.

I will wait to hear from you.


Regards

For more information call or sms *****.

Thanks and God Blessed you

Mr. Jimmy


So he doesn't only want to draw, but also rewrite exodus? Perfect!

Sister Dave
Quote:
Dear brother Jimmy,

Did father Ed not send you the link to our website a few weeks ago? If not, then please accept my apologies. The website is <snipped> And here you will find everything you need to know about our church. We do not expect your parish to be an exact copy of our congregation. We understand that the African culture is different from ours and you are free to do services as the spirit guides you, within a few guidelines from our holy church of course, but this is a matter that the elders will discus with you later and you don't need to worry about that now. I hope you already have a vision about the way you want to run your parish and services and if you want to share this with us, that will be wonderful.

Regarding to the task I want to compliment you. You have completely understood the task that lies ahead of you. It shouldn't be a difficult task at all, but you need to do it through prayer and prepare yourself with prayer. Also I want to emphasize that you will still need official helpers. The minimum number will be 4 and the maximum will be 12. You need to think about this so that, after this pandemic is over you will be prepared and know who will be willing to take on this task. We will take care of them as well, because these helpers will also receive a monthly salary from the church.

Be blessed
Sister Dave


Wednesday March 25
Jimmy
Quote:
Dear Sister Dave.


Thanks for the website you sent its clear to understand than the one Father Ed sent, I still ongoing my mission telling people about this new Church coming.

I am writing this message to know how to send my stories from THE Book of Exodus. Should I write it in down or attach my picture and copy of my stories??


Regards

For more information call or sms ****.

Thanks and God Blessed you

Mr. Jimmy


Sister Dave
Quote:
Dear brother Jimmy,

All written submissions must be handwritten and drawings should be hand drawn. The preferred method would be to scan your work and send it to us, but I understand if that's not possible, so in that case you can make pictures of your work as long as they're of good quality.

Be blessed
Sister Dave


Jimmy
Quote:
Dear Sister Dave.

Okay, Am meditating on it and I will soon show my first understanding.


Regards

For more information call or sms *****.

Thanks and God Blessed you

Mr. Jimmy


Sister Dave
Quote:
Dear brother Jimmy,

Thank you for your message, we are praying for your progress and looking forward to see the results.

Be blessed
Sister Dave


Friday March 27
Jimmy
Quote:
Dear Sister Dave. See My First Step

How is Father Ed doing have him through with fasting and praying? If not my regards to him and other Elders in the House. How this Covid19 I mean the Corora Virius going arounds, as our Government eliminates movement Closed Churches and Schools here?? both this sickness is not for Children of God.

Sister Dave, Take a look at my first step for my task and advice me more.

Thanks and am waiting to hear from you.


Regards

For more information call or sms *****

Thanks and God Blessed you

Mr. Jimmy


Image

Image

Image

Image

Saturday March 28
Sister Dave
Quote:
Dear brother Jimmy,

Thank you for sending me your first work. I am glad to see that you take these tasks seriously. Unfortunately I have to say that the picture is not of very good quality and your handwriting is unclear. Can you please make this again and make sure that other people can read what you have written?

Be blessed.
Sister Dave


Sunday March 29
Jimmy
Quote:
Dear Sister Dave.

I did rewritten it with capital Letter, Check if its Okay, I don't have good writing.

Thanks and am waiting to hear from you.


Regards

For more information call or sms *****.

Thanks and God Blessed you

Mr. Jimmy


Image

Image

I don't know what he is writing, but this looks more like an introduction to Exodus instead of Exodus itself. We'll see where this leads

_________________
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Birlic
Baiting Guru


Joined: 07 Oct 2016
Posts: 4825
Location: In the Chapel


PostPosted: Mon Mar 30, 2020 7:43 am Reply with quoteBack to top

- Yes, unfortunately, the Corona virus problem prevents us from doing beautiful group scenes with "Moses and the tribe"... so we try to improvise and convince the idiots to work "from home".
- Obviously, we have not given up the idea of the Monument of Faith (the pyramid) and the Baptism Ceremony (milk and honey). Let's hope we succeed. Laughing Laughing Laughing

_________________
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- A lot of Closed lad accounts & many Vcamera ; Whip ; Jack Boot ; Goat ; 3x The Church of the Old Gods ; 3x Sand Timer ; Golden Pith ; 35x Safari ; 🍰 ;
- My travel agency: Accra-Tamale; Akure-Kamba; Akure-Bohicon; Bamako-Siguiri; Banjul-Basse; Banjul-Dakar; Banjul-Karang; BeninCity-Lagos; BeninCity-Seme; Brikama-Basse; Brikama-Dakar; 2xBrikama-Karang; Brussels-Lausanne; Cotonou-Accra; Cotonou-Djougou; Idiroko-Aneho; 2xIdiroko-Cotonou; Idiroko-HillaCondji; Lagos-Abuja; Lagos-Bamako; Lagos-Bida; 7xLagos-Cotonou; Lagos-Lome; 2xLagos-Seme; Owerri-Abuja; Warri-Cotonou;
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bikeatl77
Master of Master Baiters


Joined: 17 Nov 2018
Posts: 671
Location: Sudden Valley


PostPosted: Mon Mar 30, 2020 9:16 am Reply with quoteBack to top

A compensation scam is the same as a victim recovery/restitution format correct? It amazes me that as soon as he got off script he morphed into a near homeless and unemployed vagabond family man who has to walk uphill both ways in the snow to write emails because he no longer has a personal device. Yet he doesn't wonder why the church hasn't picked up on the total dichotomy and impossibility of those two scenarios coexisting simultaneously. It's truly mind boggling.

If you run out of mundane things for him to do or he starts to drag his feet because he thinks he's done more than enough to be accepted as a member you could always out him for his scam attempt. If he doesn't have a job and is dirt poor then he obviously doesn't work for anyone associated with victim relief. The Holy Lamb forgives those that are worthy of course so he'll have to repent by [insert sillier than normal punishment here]. Calling his shit out right when he's about to be welcomed as a member could scare him into doing more things for you. Maybe force him to shave off his facial hair, eyebrows, and the little patch left on top of his head. Something about kneeling before God with an unobstructed and spiritually clean face or whatever.

He does seem to like to write though. Maybe you have another Humphere on your hands.
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Birlic
Baiting Guru


Joined: 07 Oct 2016
Posts: 4825
Location: In the Chapel


PostPosted: Sat Apr 04, 2020 6:59 am Reply with quoteBack to top

^^^ LOL!

March 30
- Sister Dave wrote to our lad:
Quote:
Dear brother Jimmy,

Thank you for these pictures. Your handwriting is much clearer in these. Please continue with the assignment and sent me the pages you have finished so I will be updated about your progress all the time.

Be blessed
Dave


April 02
- Dear Reverend Jimmy, to sister Dave:
Quote:
Dear Sister Dave.

How is Father Donald doing have him finish his Praying and Fasting yet??

Sorry for not hear from me for past few days, Its because of Corona Virus Covid19 Government shot down everywhere but some places open today and how about your side I hope is not much going on there too??.

I really Thank God for acknowledge my first task. I am meditating on my reading and pls, keep praying and guiding me in too.


Regards

For more information call or sms 0901020**** +234901020****.

Thanks and God Blessed you

Mr. Jimmy

- Sister Dave:
Quote:
Dear brother Jimmy,

Thank you for your message. It is good to hear that you are spiritually preparing yourself for this task. We understand the situation with the Corona virus because we are suffering a similar situation here.
Yes, father Ed has returned from his days of praying and fasting, but because of the current global situation we all spend a lot of time in prayer these days.
We will keep praying for your progress and the health of you and your family.

Be blessed
Dave


April 03
- The lad wrote to my character:
Quote:
Dear Rev. Ed, Good Day Sir.

How are you so far Daddy, I missed you.

It has been long but Sister Dave,told me in are in Praying and Fasting but yesterday she told me you are done. I been following my Task as sprite direct and I do communicating with Sister Dave regularly.

Regards

For more information call or sms 0901020**** +234901020****.

Thanks and God Blessed you
Mr. Jimmy


April 04
- My Rev. Ed writes to our moron:
Quote:
Son, be blessed!


These heavy moments, marked by the outbreak of the Corona virus, are the test stone that the Lord has set before us. To try us and see how we react! Our prayers must be sincere, intense, and frequent, for humanity to overcome these difficult moments.

I understand that you have not yet completed the steps required for your Admission, but Sister Dave has assured me that you are working well. I'm glad to hear these things and I look forward to it to see your Baptism Ceremony finished well.


Glory to the Holy Lamb!
Rev. Ed

_________________
Let the lads come to me!

- A lot of Closed lad accounts & many Vcamera ; Whip ; Jack Boot ; Goat ; 3x The Church of the Old Gods ; 3x Sand Timer ; Golden Pith ; 35x Safari ; 🍰 ;
- My travel agency: Accra-Tamale; Akure-Kamba; Akure-Bohicon; Bamako-Siguiri; Banjul-Basse; Banjul-Dakar; Banjul-Karang; BeninCity-Lagos; BeninCity-Seme; Brikama-Basse; Brikama-Dakar; 2xBrikama-Karang; Brussels-Lausanne; Cotonou-Accra; Cotonou-Djougou; Idiroko-Aneho; 2xIdiroko-Cotonou; Idiroko-HillaCondji; Lagos-Abuja; Lagos-Bamako; Lagos-Bida; 7xLagos-Cotonou; Lagos-Lome; 2xLagos-Seme; Owerri-Abuja; Warri-Cotonou;
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bikeatl77
Master of Master Baiters


Joined: 17 Nov 2018
Posts: 671
Location: Sudden Valley


PostPosted: Sat Apr 04, 2020 7:34 am Reply with quoteBack to top

What a wanker. I doubt the virus prompted the government to shut down basic cellular service. He must realize that he is God's mouthpiece. The Holy Lamb doesn't take silences lightly. Nobody can meditate their way into salvation. Suggesting otherwise endorses the carnal sin of sloth. Physical health is imperative in these trying times so maybe a video of him doing a few hundred jumping jack's could help to fast track his journey towards salvation. Blessed be the fruit loops...in His eye!

Internal Note: This is my 666'th post...fabulous Razz
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Linoline
Dume Dutch Bag


Joined: 06 Apr 2018
Posts: 4335
Location: Do not meddle in the affairs of Dragons for you are small and crunchy and taste good with ketchup


PostPosted: Tue Apr 07, 2020 12:54 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

April 3
Quote:
Dear Sister Dave.

Thanks for your email received, The World need serous Prayers this moment but this Corona virus is not for Children of God.

Check my assignment I did another one.


Regards

For more information call or sms *******.

Thanks and God Blessed you

Mr. Jimmy


Image

April 4
Quote:
Dear brother Jimmy,

Thank you for showing me your progress, however, seeing how many days have passed I expected you to made a little more progress until now. Please keep us informed about your work and let us know if you have already thought of people who will be your helpers once you start the new parish?

be blessed
Sister Dave


April 6
Quote:
Dear Sister Dave.

Thanks for your email received and meanwhile regarding to your question and followup report on my work required by your Church. I have made a lot of progress and I have had a little difficult in gathering them together due to stay at home no movement in Nigeria because of Covid19.

The Good News is that many were convinced after seen the website and they are eagerly when and waiting for full resumption of the Church in Nigeria, which I told them it will soon take place as God directed immediately after this Corona Virus stop.

Meanwhile, I am still working on my spiritual assignment in book of Exodus as instructed bu Church Elders. Hopefully I will soon send my assessment. I appreciated your Cooperation and Advice too.


Regards

For more information call or sms *****.

Thanks and God Blessed you

Mr. Jimmy


Quote:
Dear brother Jimmy,

I understand the circumstances, we are all facing the same situation and here in Europe it is even more serious but we don't let that stop us from doing what we have to do. I don't see any reason why you won't be able to make a picture with your phone and send it to me. The elders are getting impatient by now, because you have not sent much substantial yet. Please find a way to overcome your difficulties and send me your work.

Be blessed
Sister Dave


April 7
Rev. Ed wrote to sister Dave
Quote:
Be blessed, sister Dave!

Sister, please tell me what is the situation regarding the admission process of our new local Reverend Jimmy. I am worried about all the delay related to the current situation, but the Church must go ahead and he must do everything to complete the process. We will not be able to send the sponsorship nor establish the parish development budget.


Glory to the Holy Lamb!
Rev. Ed


Sister Dave to Rev Ed and Jimmy
Quote:
Dear father Ed,

Brother Jimmy is currently writing his summary of the book Exodus, but he is not making much progress. With the lockdown situation I have expected him to have sent me more materials of this assignment by now so that we can swiftly proceed with the remainder of the initiation process and start preparing the financial sponsorship for his parish. I hope to receive more materials from him soon so that you can decide the financial budget for the parish and for charity work for the people there.

Be blessed
Sister Dave


The wonderful news is that he is only writing a summary now. While he misinterpreted the assignment and we made it clear that he should write complete Exodus with drawings. He'll be busy for some time to come

_________________
Golden Pig x5 Closed lad accounts x1144 Vcamera x143 Safari x30 Tattoo x4 Sand Timer x4 The Church of the Old Gods Mortar Whip Jack Boot Flying Monkey Mc Fry 🍆 Santa 🍰

My Collection of lad frustration

"I never taught you to be evil. But carry on" - Oscarpiles
"You are diabolically evil...." - Sparky905
"It really sucks to be a scamming lad around Linoline." Conny L. Gus
"You put money in the parcel now am suffering you are not helping" Sven
"You put me through this with all the bastard you called your client" Daniboy
"IF YOUR FUCKING MOTHER ISN'T FUCKING DEAD BY NOW SHE'S A MIRACLE OF SCIENCE OR FRANKENSTEINS FUCKING BABY" - Mary to Elmo
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