Another New "Goofy Crap your Pets Wrote" Thread

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Posted: Thu May 09, 2019 1:25 pm

When I told one of my lads it's illegal to copy passports, this is what I got

Quote:

okay Goodbye dear, its also illegal to be talking and wasting time with you

And another nice one

Quote:

Hello, we need the PAYMENT slip now. If you have send it, the bank will not release the money here without the PAYMENT slip. Waiting the PAYMENT slip

I have no clue what it is that he wants

Posted: Fri May 10, 2019 3:41 pm

This is probably the worst piece of Lad geographical confusion I've ever seen.

Quote:

FIRST BANK OF WEST AFRICAN
IMMEDIATE RELEASE OF YOUR FUND TO YOU NOW FROM FBN
Abuja North View FBN.ROOM,7367J.EDGAR HOVER 935
PENNSYLVANIA AVENUE,West Africa

Posted: Fri May 10, 2019 6:43 pm

I have a lad that coughed up 1 african account and coughed up 2 or 3 american accounts and has no clue they are american. I just keep insisting that I'm confused by his information and that I really only want to transfer it to an american account. Nice lad-confusion as well.

Posted: Sat May 11, 2019 3:49 pm

I just picked up this NOK lad:

Quote:

I stand as the Lawyer to late Eng Moris Ronald Jeoffery, a national of Northern American,

I'm waiting for his answer after asking if he has checked with the Northern Americanian counsel general. Rolling Eyes

Posted: Tue May 28, 2019 5:26 pm

Quote:

Please am sorry for the delay is was due to a trip i made and was not having internet asses.

Apparently lack of porn results in delays.

Posted: Wed May 29, 2019 4:26 am

I'm sure this poor orphan didn't want to appear arrogant, but hey:

Quote:

Perfect me to call you daddy ,

Posted: Sat Jun 01, 2019 1:15 am

We have a new Superhero! MR. LEAH ADJIN ABAN, of the FOREIGN REMITTANCE RUPUBLIC BANK LTD GHANA, wrote

Quote:

But remember my mandate is to serve mankind

Look there, on the ground!
Is it a cockroach?
Is it a dog turd?
No, it's BANKER-MAN!

Posted: Mon Jun 03, 2019 8:36 pm

Not sure if this is "Goofy crap", but it made me chuckle (am I a bad person?)

Lad
Amy

Am not filling fine
That's not good. What's up
I'm injured
Ow no! What happened?
Did you have an accident?
Yes
owno.. how?
Am cultivating
cultivating?
like weed?
Cassava
but what happened
did you cut a finger off or something?
I wound on my leg
hope it's nothing bad
It much
did you cut it with a machete?
Hole
sounds nasty
With a hoe

And then he sends me a picture of his leg with a gaping hole

Posted: Mon Jun 03, 2019 10:32 pm

Diplomat Ahmed Farhang is unhappy with Mal:

Quote:

Go to hell , you are not wise
I pretty You by allowing African to defraud
You have little Brain

Posted: Fri Jun 07, 2019 5:39 pm

John Faust isn't worried about the usual raised eyebrows, he's got bigger concerns

Quote:

PLEASE TO AVOID AN EYE BOWL CAUSE AM STILL WORKING IN THE BANK AS OF THESE
MOMENT.TOP SECRET MUST BE KEPT ONLY.

Or perhaps his eye bowl is where he keeps his eyebrows to avoid them getting raised.

Posted: Wed Jun 12, 2019 2:56 pm

I sent fee by postal mail instead of Money Gram. He has been having flare ups in temper for a week or more.

Quote:

Are you crazy by given me such wicked advise? You don`t have right to
tell me what I will do to offend my country law. stop that nonsense.
Unless you are evil that try to put people in trouble. Did I told you
several times that in my country,we did not receive money by post or
envelope,it is act of money laundry.

What am expecting from you is the money-gram payment details, not
envelope payment. Never ever tell me to go get what is against my
country law as money laundry. Did you want me to go to jail because of
you and 150 dollars? Stop telling me that nonsense, do what I told you
and forward the money payment receipt to me, I have nothing to do with
envelop money which is sin in my country financial. understand this or
do not write me anymore if you cannot send money via moneygram.

Posted: Mon Jun 17, 2019 12:50 pm

Quote:

T'Debit Alert,
This is to inform you that the Beneficiary, T'Debit Alert: NGN/USD $6.5M,000.00 (Six Million Five Hundred Thousand Dollars) DEBIT 001365432665 on 0087685544569 (ATM-Transfer-Point) Withdrawal by (Federal Ministry of Health For Humanitarian Activities) Abuja Nigeria Cash Tr-Dep At 8:50 Am 17.06.2019 Your Balance is Total NGN/USD100,000.
Sign.
Management.

"T'Debit Alert"?

Maybe I should reply beginning with "Ee bah gum."

Posted: Thu Jun 20, 2019 9:31 am

Quote:

Thanks for your email, i am very happy to hear from you. I want to know the full meaning of Salvation Through Dance (STD). STD is also sexually transmitted disease. Please i want to be very sure the kind of STD you spread in name of Brotherhood

Posted: Mon Jun 24, 2019 9:01 am

Quote:

When the united nations compensate anyone and he fails to claim it then the government can make use of that funds on government projects

So now you know.

Posted: Tue Jun 25, 2019 9:08 pm

Quote:

Please, I want to be your mutual friend

Posted: Tue Jun 25, 2019 10:30 pm

^ What the Dickens is that Lad talking about?

Meanwhile, here's a Lad's explanation for why he needs a bank transfer slip:

Quote:

I received your message, but in every bank after transferring money into someone account there must be evidence to prove that such amount has been transfer. This will enable the bank to confirm the amount transfer is in your account, There is no any bank will transfer money into account without any proved from the bank .
In every transfer from any bank there is prove which you can show that you have made such transfer into this account , but i dont know the bank you are operating on but this is the fact of all bank even with the western union or money gram or in every banking setup....
I will advise you to ask your bank with others banks there in Australia in every transfer you made into someone account the transfer slip must be given to you we all are operating with banks. if i should ask you to transfer money after transferring the money there is something you must show from the bank that will proved the money has been transfer which is the transfer slip. The bank will also have the proved with them that you have made such transfer on so date into such an account, it will be on the bank file.
Ok, like the UBA bank after getting the origin certificate of fund the bank will transfer the money into your account they will request you to prove and the transfer slip will also be attach to you to confirm there is money transfer from UBA bank into your account.

Baiting Guru Joined: 25 Jul 2017 Posts: 2107

A scammer with an orphanage theme, answering my questions on the origins of the orphanage.

Quote:

The orphanage was founded in the 2006 after a prehistoric event that took place in our country.

Prehistoric event? Asteroid hitting the earth? An Ice Age? Mass extinctions?

Posted: Wed Jun 26, 2019 3:29 am

International law can be harsh!

Quote:

We expect your reply to us via e-mail which your inability to reply to this e mail is a committed violation of international law.

Posted: Fri Jun 28, 2019 3:10 pm

Quote:

the managements told the lady in common that she will scam
her International Passport copy

I'm sure she will

Posted: Sun Jul 07, 2019 3:15 pm

What follows is a typical message from a Holocaust scammer:

Quote:

We are simply not satisfied with the existence of a specific technical term of your delay, such as “stand-by letters to ascertain whether the technical term or its role in the transaction is used properly in the context.
We Check into the existence and operation of any law under which taxes,which When performing our office due diligence, our office suspicion is that you are promoting fees and other sums are allegedly owed and we found out that the amount you are claiming is higher than the tax to pay.
presence of inconsistencies is unusual; you unresolved presence of inconsistencies is highly unusual; and both may signal fraud.If a transaction or activity occurs that does not pass one’s own “common sense” test, then that alone is a good enough basis to consider the matter suspicious and to pursue due diligence.
We need your reply if you are ready to send the fee as assure your delay to our processor of the documents that brought the Frustration of due diligence and Irrational or illogical aspects or explanations; with Frauds involving goods and services in Performing due diligence.
Your explanation with names as particularly of those who are reputable or influential in the field, is needed as are misused in several ways in commercial frauds to CRT as excuse of a failure in promised performance Illustration to government regulations, such as tax laws, or electronic funds transfer systems rules are referred to in explaining why the “remittance” or payment is delayed, or why additional funds should not be added as required by the fraudster attitude.

And that's why he can't have nice things.

Posted: Wed Jul 10, 2019 3:59 am

An oldie but a goodie:

Quote:

I have been diagnosed with Esophageal Cancer which has defiled all forms of medical treatment

Posted: Wed Jul 10, 2019 4:03 am

^^^ I hear essential oils can cure that. See if he wants to join your urgent burning downstream!

Posted: Thu Jul 11, 2019 4:20 am

Another oldie but a goodie, but with a twist:

Quote:

In case if anyone called you or you receive any email from west africayou have to contact me first as your paternal Anthony

The twist is, he'd already written this two paragraphs earlier:

Quote:

I will like us to have an agreement and power of attorney so that it will be legal that am your Attorney

Posted: Mon Jul 15, 2019 2:49 pm

What do you think about this delivery fees or do you want them to call cell that? I'm tried of perishing you but some one will claim that, what is you power today?

Not quite a Newb Joined: 17 Jun 2017 Posts: 55

Quote:

what is you power today?

Over 9000

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