Kevin the Idiot - wooed, screwed and tattooed - Year 3

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Posted: Thu Mar 24, 2016 1:18 am

Ginger has been having all sorts of fun with the Lad recently. Let's see what Kevin has to say aboot it:

Quote:

Dear beneficiary: Mr. James,

Have you heard from Judy the one you said you trusted? I understand that you are no longer interested in these funds, and delay is very dangerous, I believe that your money is still in that of Judy's account and she is not yet back.

I told you what to do in order to receive your funds but you refused by now you are suppose to be making use of your funds but you choose to ignore my instruction.

I am still waiting for both you and Judy if you can wising up and follow my instruction your funds will be transfer into your bank account without any further delay.

The choice is yours and if you are no longer interested in this transaction please kindly let me know.

Thanks

Yeah that tactic has worked with Mr .James before or not...

Quote:

Ric*nt,

I see you are still a little boy bitch. Why did you send my email to Judy when you clearly do not trust Judy?

What the hell is happening?

Not happy Richard, not happy.

My bank is unable to withdraw the last $20,000.00 from Judy's account.
Do I need to smack that bitch around? Where is she?

Stop being a little boy bitch, man up and fucking tell me what the fuck is happening before I get real mad. You don't want to see me real mad Richard.

Kevin er I mean Richard is still playing tough though:

Code:

Dear beneficiary: Mr. James,

You are the one acting like a boy here I told you that you will come back to me, first I never send any message to Judy in regards to the things you are doing with Darla.

You told me that you trusted Judy not me why not find her yourself? I have not hear from Judy for a while the last time she emailed me she stated that she is hospitalized I thought you have her number why not call her.

I told you what to do in order to receive your $39.6M but you refused and choose to follow the instruction of a woman who has been away for a month and, you are the biggest fool I ever seen in my hole life.

I told you at the initial time forget about woman let's bring this transaction to an end you refused to follow my instruction, you still have one more chance if you really want to receive your fund you are to send the money to the account I will provide to you so we can bring this transaction to an end.

The choice is yours follow my directive and receive your fund or you forget this and stop sending mail to me, if you still want to receive your payment you are to send the money to the account I will provide to you for the documents while we wait for Judy to return which I don't know when she will be back.

Upon the receipt of this mail I shall forward to you the account which you will use to send the money today and before 48 banking hours your fund will reflect into your bank account for you to start making use of it.

If you are not ready to send the money do not email me again and wait for your Judy to return and by then I will not look into your matter again.

Looking forward to hear from you soon.

Jeeze you'd think Kevin would learn eh? Oh well get him Mr. James:

Quote:

Ric*nt,

I fucking paid. I'm not sending anymore.

I paid twice and no documents Richard.

Judy told me you sent her my email in her email to me.

I have never dealt with such unprofessional back woods idiots as the two of you.

I hope Judy is in the hospital as it will be easy now to hunt her down.

Thanks for the tip, next time use the whole shaft.

Your the fool Richard. My money is frozen at the account in Georgia. You were the one who told me to send it. I fucking followed YOUR instructions.

Now you can't get to the funds and you blame Judy? And you call me a fool?

Did you beat her? Is that why she's in the hospital? Never beat them that hard Richard. It will get you in trouble. You can beat them but never break bones or do organ damage. Never let a beaten woman out of your sight until they are in complete submission. If they are not completely submissive, tie them down until you get control.

It is obvious you have no control over women.

You are a weak putz Richard. Weak.

AND of course a retort which will be answered but not for a day or two:

Quote:

Well hunt her and let me know, she is the one you trusted not me have you forgotten the time you said that word? Even when I sent you an account to make a payment you refused and went and send it to her account.

I am doing my job she is the one that is not acting professional, hunt her do you think that I am happy that she is not yet back do you know a lot of people she is holding their money? And nothing has been done.

If you can hunt her and bring her back to me I will be happy so that I will finish the transactions I have at hand.

The best option is for you to send the money I asked you to send let's proceed and bring this transaction to an end while we will wait for her return and she will send the money back to you as soon as she is back.

Don't be a fool follow my instruction and receive your $39.6M. I have made my point you still have one more chance.

Why do I have the funny feeling that Mr. James and Darla will be hunting this Weekend? Oh well...

Quote:

Darla: I have another Victim. Please do not Fuck this up and DO NOT go behind my backside
BAITER ADDY
Kevin: U are sending me list
What about the money we have gotten where is my own share and when am I receiving it?
Mr. Name is really mad and want to do some stupid
Darla: Huh?
Kevin:I don't want him to hurt u
How are u doing
Darla: ok but who is Mr. Name?
Kevin:Sorry Mr. James
I mean
Darla:What do you mean about him being mad?
Kevin:According to the mail he sent to me
Darla: ok
Kevin:There is this person from Iceland that paid into the account
But this is not the good news I was talking about
Darla: Well that is pretty good news. How much did this person pay?
Kevin:$3,500
Baby u need to come back
Darla: Are you going to tell me the other good news?
Kevin:No baby
U need to come back first
Darla: Nevermind. I know you don't have any
Kevin:Baby I have
And u will be surprise when I tell u the news
But u have to come back
Darla: Either tell me or quit going on aboot it
Kevin: Ok
We have $37600 in the account
U know how much is ur share
U have $19600 while I get $18000 and more money is coming if only u will return back
LATER
Hello my love
Darla:Hiya
Kevin:How are u doing
Darla: ok
Kevin:U did not say anything on my last message to u
Darla: Oh. Was I supposed to?
Kevin: Yes
Darla: Like what?
Wish there was more?
Kevin: More of what?
Darla: Money silly Man
Kevin:Stop calling me silly man
I told u there will be much money and I am the one to make them pay as a lot of them promised to pay more
But I need to have the once they have paid before they start paying again
Darla: Well then you should do something instead of complaining ok?
Kevin:I am not complaining only asking u to return back let's make too much money
Darla: When I am able to I will return; we've been through this
Kevin:and u don't know when u are able to
Darla: Yess

Posted: Thu Mar 24, 2016 10:40 am

He's still a tool.

Posted: Fri Mar 25, 2016 12:19 am

^Yup

Quote:

Kevin: Hey
Darla: Hiya
Kevin: Hi
Hiya
Darla: Yess
Kevin: Is that all u could say yess
Darla: Huh?
Kevin: I am always the one who ask how u are doing
U never border to ask the same to me
Darla:Oh
Kevin: Baby I want little help from u this Easter period
Darla: ?
Kevin: I will be needing $500 from u so I can buy things for my family
U can deduct the money from my own share of the money in ur account
Darla: Why don’t you use the money you collected and then pay me back?
Kevin: I have told u time without number that I did not collect any money
If I collect money why would I ask u for money
I think we have talked this over why are u so mean to me?
What do u take me for
Darla: Hmmm
Kevin: Why hmmm?
Are u sending the money to me or not?
Darla: I thought we’d been through this?
Kevin: Through what my love?
Darla: How I can’t access that money
Kevin: Baby don't u have any money with u over there in Aruba?
Darla: Some I guess but everything is either on expense account or Mr James buys it for me
Kevin: U can't get even if is $300 for me
?
Darla: Hey I have a great idea. Want to hear it?
Kevin: Yes
Let me hear it
Darla: First tell me your good news
Kevin: Hahahaha
U are funny
If u don't want to tell me then u can forget it I won't tell u the good news
I promised myself that until u return to the state
And this person will make us more richer and richer
If u want to send me the money let me know if u don't want to then u can forget it God is my strength
Darla: ok nevermind
Kevin: Are u sending me the money or not?
Darla: I told you I had a cunning plan but you don’t want to hear it
Kevin: I want to hear it tell me the plan
Darla: Um then tell me and I will do the same
Kevin: There is the man who want to pay about $65,000.00 but I asked him to hold on first
Darla: Why would you tell him to hold on?????
Kevin: The once that paid I have not seen the money yet
So I don't want the money to be hanging again until u are back
I am not going to give him any account he will send it with ur account but that will be when u return
Darla: First off telling him to delay was stupid and thirdly who is this man?
Kevin: Tell me the plan u have if u want to hear from me again
About the man
And what I did was not stupid
We have money in ur account u can't do anything to send my own share and I asked u for a little help u can't and u still want me to ask someone to send money so he will start bugging me things are not done that way
Darla: Actually stupid isn’t strong enough of a word how aboot Fucktarded?
Kevin: Whatever
I told u we are going to make too much money especially by the time I handle those clients
U are the only one delaying this whole thing
Darla: At every turnstile you go behind my backside and act unprofessional
Kevin: I am acting professional
U are the one acting on professional
Remember I was the one who teach u how this work and always tell u what to tell the client
And I am the one to further the jobs for them to pay more
Darla: Just exactly how much money have you collected? Without me you’d only have what you have gotten from behind my backside so don’t go there Mr. Man!
Kevin: U swear I have not collected any money
If I do I let u know I vow not yo betray u but u are to difficult
and can't follow my simple instructions
I should not get where?
Darla: Grrr
Kevin: What is meaning of Grrr?
Darla: It means am angry with you and your silly actions
Kevin: U always have an excuse each I want money from u
Baby what will solve this problem is for u to return home
And we won't be fighting
Darla: Am not fighting am just trying to work things oot.
Kevin: Then work things out
Darla: Will you act civil and not so childish?
Kevin: I am acting civil and have not acted childish
Darla: ok
Now tell me who this contact is
Kevin: If this is why u are saying all this forget it
Get back and things will work fine for both of us
I am not telling u about any person
Darla: Too bad as I had a way that you could have ‘borrowed’ $5,000 easily but nevermind
Kevin: Keep it then I don't care
U never wanted to be of any help to me u just want to get the information from me about this man and I won't tell u until u are able to come back or find away to send my own money
I am not stupid I bring out the idea wrote the format and tell u what to say now they paid u can't even try to send me my own share so I paid my debts
Darla:Whatever
Either way I need to go see a new Mix Master at Hamilton Beach in a while
Kevin: Ok

Posted: Fri Mar 25, 2016 4:34 pm

Kevin emailed Juan as well. Laughing

Kevin the Idiot wrote:

Dear beneficiary: Mr. Juan

What is meaning of all this and what do you think you are doing and which account did you send the money? And you think you are doing the right thing

OK let's watch and see

MR. RICHARD FISHER
GENERAL MANAGER
FEDERAL RESERVE BANK

Juan Tanamera wrote:

What are you talking about, cabron? Didn't I tell you that I wouldn't do business with you if you kept behaving like an arrogante churro? And what did you do? You kept up behaving like a pendejo asshole. So now I am doing business with Judy only, and you can go suck on the cojones of a coyote. Judy treats me nice, unlike you, who don't know how to treat a costumer. I like Judy, and I think you are a joke who should be lucky not to consider himself an old beggar.

Juan

Kevin the Idiot wrote:

Dear beneficiary: Mr. Juan

Well I am a man of few words you really do not know what you are doing, by the time you will realize yourself it will be too late.

Go ahead and deal with Judy and let me see if you will ever receive your funds from her, I am not stopping you but do not come back to me in regards to this transaction since you choose to deal with Judy.

Final I bet you if you ever receive your funds from Judy let me die.

Thanks

MR. RICHARD FISHER

Ok, so I will see if I can make him die from an exploded head next week. Laughing

Meanwhile, Dickard had picked up a new costumer...

Ugandalf Gray wrote:

I am very interested, my little hobbit. Look to my coming on the first light of the fifth day, at dawn look to the east.

Just tea, please.

Ugandalf"

Posted: Sat Mar 26, 2016 12:43 am

^Nerd

Kevin has been sooo very nice helping others to get their funds whilst attempting to Chop Darla:

Quote:

Dear beneficiary: Candace

I am in good receipt of your email and the content was well noted, I am sorry to let you that our Telex manager whom you paid the money into her account is on her vacation and she is going to spend a lot of time over there. I really do not know when she will come back.

For us to proceed and bring this transaction to an end you have to resend the money winch is $3,500.00 so that our attorney will obtain the necessary documents on your behalf to enable us wire your fund into your bank account.

As soon as our telex manager comes back she will return your money back to you, without any further delay I will advice you proceed to your bank and resend the money with the bank account of our attorney listed below.

Here is the bank account of our attorney for you to send the money again.

NEWISH ACCOUNT
In anticipation of your immediate response.

Immediately you send the money send me the receipt for record purpose, please do bear with us I am sorry for any inconvenience this must have caused you and be rest assured that your funds will be transfer into your nominated bank account without any further delay.

I am looking forward to hear from you soon.

Thanks

Tis a lucky thing he sent that or Candace might have done he wrong thing:

Quote:

Hi hi Mr. General Manager Richard sir,

It is I again Candace ok? Please sirs and thanks you as I not understands bankerings properly yes but now nicest manager at Landesbankin has explained me more better making another transferring to account of 440212.50 ISK or another $3,500 to Georgia as I Candace was misunderstood.

Thanks you for greatest patients and have wonderful Holiday Eastern time yes?

Yours Friend,

Candace

Sadly Kevin is a bit depressed but Darla always has the ability to cheer him up:

Quote:

Darla: Hiya
Kevin: Hi
Darla: Happy Eastern!
Kevin: I am not happy baby
Well I wish u the best
But am not happy
Darla: Huh?
Kevin: I don't have any money with me
Even to buy something for my mum no money
Darla: Aww turn that frown upside down Hunny
Kevin: How do u mean?
Darla: I mean smile and remember that soon you will be rich
Kevin: How soon
Have I not waited for so long
Even my dad was asking me when u are coming back
Darla: How sweat of him to ask aboot me.
Kevin: He do ask even my mum
Darla: Wow that so sooo nice
Kevin: Yes
And u come to Nigeria right?
Darla: Yess I’d like that bunches
Kevin: Ok
Do u have anything for them this Easter period
Darla: What do you mean Hunny?
Kevin: I mean do u have any thing to give ur father and mother in law this Easter period as I don't have any money to buy things for them
Darla: I didn’t know I was supposed to get them anything my love
Kevin: Is never late
They always talk about u
U cab still send me little money to buy things for them
Darla: I guess I could send flowers. What is their address?
Kevin: Baby u are funny
These are village people they don't value flowers
Darla: I thought the Village People would love that sort of thing
Kevin: No Baby
Hun why not tell Mr. Jizzler that u want to come back u have something important to do then after one week u can go back to Aruba
Darla: I am learning to paint so maybe I can quickly make one of that rainbow I saw yesterday
Kevin: So u can get me my own share of the money I really need it I am totally broke my love pls have mercy
Darla: Let me get my Water Colors and I'll whip something up ok?
Kevin: Ok
Darla: Ok am making one now
Kevin: Baby this thing u are making does it have anything to do with out conversation
U are not making any effort to return back
How long would I continue to wait ?
Darla: Of course it does Hunny. I think your parents will love it
The instructor Carlos is a nice nice man
Kevin: Baby ur love need money to get on my visa
And other things
Darla: Am busy making a picture for your parents ok?
Kevin: Ok
Darla: Hang on Carlos is giving me the reach around
Kevin: Ok
Darla: Carlos wants to give me private lessons because he thinks I might be the next El Salvidor Dali
Kevin: Hope he has nothing in bad in mind
Darla: What do you mean Hunny?
Kevin: I mean Calors
He want to give u private lesson
and I am not comfortable with that
I am jealous
Darla: Aww don’t be that way he gave me crabs yesterday but he was a perfect Gentleman
Kevin: Ok
What about James
Darla: He is the nicest man but sometimes gets mad and wants to look for Judy
Kevin: Ok
Not knowing that u are Judy
Lol
Darla: I know I am laughing my Ass out over that
Kevin: Now u believe I am creative
Darla: Yess but if you tell me more aboot that man who wants to pay $65,000 then I will tell you aboot my cunning plan for Mr. James
Kevin: Baby if u want to tell me that no u can
I just want to surprise u with that man and it will be when u return back
Don't be too hard ok
Darla: Hmmm
Kevin: Yea
If u love me u won't allow me to suffer here while we have a lot of money over there
Darla: just tell me the name and then I’ll tell you how you can get $5,000 easily
Kevin: What do u want to do with the name?
To tell him to go and pay the money?
At the same account?
Darla: If you don't want to tell me then nevermind
Kevin: Ok
We are now doing trade by barter
U don't want me to get some money right?
Is ok
Darla: If you weren’t such a Mr. Grumpy pants I’d tell you how I have Money ready for you
Kevin: How tell me
Darla: Only if you Promise to tell me aboot the other man ok?
Kevin: Tell me I promised I will tell u the mans name
Darla: ok
Give me a minute
Kevin: Ok
Darla: A couple of days ago when Mr. James was putting sun tan lotion all over my body he noticed I was charting with you and he asked a few questions.
Kevin: What was the questions he asked?
Darla: Well he wanted to know who you were and I told him that you and I were going to start up a Swan Farm but we didn’t have all of the start-up cash.
Kevin: Did u tell him where am from?
Darla: Yess but that you were in Atlanta now and waiting for my return
So Mr. James has agreed to lend you $5,000 which I think is funny because we can split it
Kevin: Is it why is funny
U are the one that brought the idea if u want us to split it I have no problem with that
So where is him going to send the money on which account?
Darla: Have him send it to you and we can square up later
Kevin: U know I don't have any account in Atlanta
U have already told him I am in Atlanta
Unless the account I gave to u
U can tell him that I can make withdraw from any part of the world
Darla: He is so stupid he will believe anything and he is rich
Hunny I need to go for a few minutes
Kevin: Ok
Talk to u then
AFTER DINNER ETC
Darla: Hiya
Kevin: Hi
Darla: Are you more better now?
Kevin: Not really
The money has not been send baby
Darla: Um you need to send Mr. James an email requesting it
Kevin: Whom would I tell him I am?
And what name did u tell him?
Darla: Tell him your real name because he saw it when he was rubbing that ointment all over my body.

Posted: Sat Mar 26, 2016 3:54 am

Quote:

These are village people they don't value flowers

The Village People hate flowers?! Say it ain't so! Am crushed.

Posted: Sat Mar 26, 2016 1:41 pm

oscarpiles wrote:

Kevin: So u can get me my own share of the money I really need it I am totally broke my love pls have mercy

Gotta love a begging lad. Laughing

He's like a chained dog craving those delicious bones, that are piled just out of his reach. He can smell them so bad, but he can't have them. Twisted Evil

Posted: Sun Mar 27, 2016 3:08 am

The Fishman and Brad have had a great month or so ...just chatting it up between chums until Brad remembers:

Quote:

ATTN: Ms. Dick Fishman

It has come to my attention that I have recently sold a small piece of property that was willed to me by a stranger. Naturally, I checked my three accounts and seem to have accrued the necessary funding to take that vacation I always wanted.

There is an upcoming exotic dancing competition in Tibet that I will attend. Should I have funds leftover from the intense tipping, I feel that I should be able to COVER ALL FEES for our transaction.

Please submit a total of the fees that I should send you via Western Union or Moneygram.

Tiddles!

Brad (the man) Johnson

PS: My ex wives think they are going to get in on this action! Can you imagine?? They only have 3 and 2 children from me respectively and they were NEVER in the hospital longer than 3 days. I would not have ever hurt them seriously. They could not work with bad injuries.

Dick writes back:

Quote:

Attn: Mr. Brad Johnson,

I am in good receipt of your email and content is well noted, please kindly let me know when you are sending the needed fees and I prefer you send it to our Shyster's account I don't like western union or money gram bank account is more better.

Get back to me so that I will send you the bank information which you will use to send the needed fee of $13,500.00 to enable our Shyster obtain the necessary documents for us to wire your fund into your nominated bank account.

I am looking forward to hear from you soon

Thanks

MR

Quote:

Is your Shyster trusted well by you? I have my own Shyster that I've used successfully several times. You may send the bank account information as soon as you can.

Many blessings,

Brad

Quote:

Attn: Mr. Brad Johnson,

Your email has been received and well acknowledge, my Shyster is well trusted he has worked with us over 10years and he is a man of integrity.

Meanwhile below is his account which you will use to send the $13,500.00 for him to get the necessary documents to enable us wire your fund into your bank account without any further delay.

Here is the account information,

~snipped~

Immediately you send the money to the above listed send me the receipt. I am looking forward to hear from you soon.

Thanks

MR.

Quote:

ATTN: Dick Fisher

Hey Dick! How they hanging?

I'm writing early to question whether you wrote down the right name for the account? I was going to surprise you today with the payment receipt, but I had my Shyster take care of the account transfer.

Unfortunately, the bank informed my Shyster that the name on the account was wrong. Could you verify that for me please?

On a different note .....Once I get my money from you, do you want to go party? We can arrange for a private part. Nothing but big, juicy asses and giant tits from one wall to the other my friend!

I'm sorry for assuming you like women my friend. Maybe you like to get rode and hammered? None of my business good friend. If you like, I know a couple of real mincy types.

One goes by Baeder and the other is Dane. They both know plenty about the 'Tower of Power'. ~wink~ I've heard that they love to give good head, but are happy to get a rim job in return.

ANYWAY. Let me know posthaste concerning the correct name on the band account. I leave tomorrow to the Tibetan 'Strip and Beg' festival. Afterward, we will have the annual walrus tug and toss. I'll be back Sunday late.

Jay-Yong Motherfucker!! I've got to go!

Brad

Quote:

Attn: Mr. Brad Johnson,

Please Mr. Brad you have to bear with me, after sending you the last mail, I got an urgent call from our Shyster Mr. snip he stated that he will be leaving to London in few hours time for especial assignment and will be back by next month ending so you have to inform your Shyster to transfer the payment to our second Shyster which is Mr. snip assistant he is also a trusted and reliable Shyster he has worked with us over 8 years.

We can't wait for Mr. snip to return back because delay is very dangerous and any further delay may jeopardize all our effort, I know you have not contacted your Shyster in regards to my last mail please contact him now and let him transfer the money to the account listed below which the the account of our second Shyster he will obtain the necessary documents on your behalf to enable us wire your fund into your nominated bank account as soon as possible.

Here is the account information of our second Shyster to transfer the fees.

Snip snippty snip.

The above listed information is what he need to transfer the money and I believe there will be no story this time around.

Mr. snip will obtain the necessary documents to enable us proceed and transfer your fund into your account he is also an American citizen.

Immediately you send the money to the above listed send me the receipt. I am looking forward to hear from you soon.

Thanks

MR.

Posted: Sun Mar 27, 2016 11:12 am

Always nice when they urgently have to change bank accounts!

Loving the strip club angle.

Posted: Tue Mar 29, 2016 2:34 am

Anita finally heard from her intented... Rolling Eyes

Kevin: Hello
How are u doing today?
Anita: Praying.
Kevin: Are u done with the prayer?
Anita: Sure. But going home soon.
Kevin: Ok
It took u time to respond to me why?
Anita: Cuz u only massage me when u want sumthing.
Kevin: That's not true
I have been sending u message all this while but u refused to respond
Anita: Last massage March 6th.
Kevin: No
March 18
Anita: Not according 2 my Face
That's still a week.
Kevin: Is not too far then
Anita: Whatevs
Not how a husband treats his wife.
Kevin: I am sprry
I am kind of busy trying to make a living
Anita: U finally got a job?
YAY!
Kevin: There is a little job I got but I am done with it
And got paid with little money
It is hard to get good job Here in Nigeria
Anita: Well, then u should get over here 4 ur real job.
Kevin: I have not hear from Shyster even Mr. Jizzler
What is going on
Anita: Have u emailed them?
I have been in the hospital since Saturday and just got out.
Kevin: Oh I am sorry about that
Yes I have emailed them but no response
Anita: I was in an accident.
That is odd.
Kevin: Ho my God
What happened
How did it happened
Anita: Long story and female stuff ok?
Kevin: Let me know
Am I not ur husband to be?
Anita: I guess not.
Kevin: Why?
Anita: Creepy Kenny said ur dating Darla.
Kevin: Who is Creepy Kenny?
Anita: From IT.
Kevin: Where is IT?
Anita: On the seventh floor.
Kevin: And u believe him?
Anita: He has no reason 2 lie.
Kevin: But he don't know me and I have not talk to him before
Anita: Then how does he know?
Kevin: I don't really know
Anita: But he's right, huh?
Kevin: Not really
Anita: That means yes
Kevin: No
NOT REALLY.
Anita: R u rough ear sexing her again?
Kevin: I am not doing anything with Darla
Anita: Then why say NOT REALLY instead of NO?
Kevin: Its almost the same
Anita: Not really and no is the same thing
Anita: Not even close.
And I'm waiting 4 ur request.
Kevin: It is
What request?
Anita: Nevermind
Kevin: Why
What is my request u are waiting for?
Anita: I don't know. Eventually u will ask.
Kevin: Is about the money?
I asked u to use the money and buy laptop and send it to me

Posted: Wed Mar 30, 2016 12:48 am

Sooo Darla had a Cunning Plan to have Mr. James (Ginger) lend Kevin some money:

Quote:

Dear Mr. James,

My name is Kevin from Nigeria but currently in Atlanta Georgia, I was told by Darla to contact you in regards to the Swan Farm we want to start up but we didn't have all the start up cash, she told me that you promised to lend me $5,000.00 to start it.

I am very grateful Mr. James I really appreciate your effort to help us in this matter, please I am sending you an account which you will use to send the money so I can start the Swan Farm.

Following is the account information

ACCOUNT

Please let me know when you send the money

Thanks and remain bless.
Kevin the Idiot

After a few days James replied:

Quote:

Hello and welcome to America,

I found this email from you in my spam so my apologies for the delay.

Darla mentioned this swan farm idea but I really thought she was just drunk. I had no idea this was a real plan. Are you serious about swan farming? How long is your visit to this country? I have some ideas about how to utilize government funds for your project so that you could get your start up off the ground with quadruple the requested amount.

I will need to know when you will be 21 years old because government grants do not allocate wildlife funding project fees to minors.

There is a movie you should watch to familiarize yourself with American culture and language. It is "coming to America". Eddy Murphy is in it. Do you know of Eddy Murphy? He is a comic genius.

I will speak to Darla about this swan farm idea some more.

I am not sure how a proper Nigerian sign off is but I like to try my hand at it with

Chillax bro,

James

Meanwhile Mr. James and Kevin are still rolling on another side of the Bait:

Quote:

Ricola

Since I paid the fees twice and the money is still frozen in the account in Georgia, it is your problem to sort. I have paid in full and I will pay no more.

I am unable to find Judy and I think you know why.

She must be an investigator of some sort and I believe that is why she eludes me. And ricola, I believe she must be investigating you.

From your emails I have concluded that you are probably at risk from being fired from your job. It is Judy that worries you and you should worry.

I can take care of your problem. Give me her exact location and you don't need to worried anymore. I know how to make women do what they are told. She is not as high and mighty as she thinks.

Don't worry Ricola, I won't break any of her bones. Just give me her exact location.

Kevin still tries to work things out and Chop Darla at the same time:

Quote:

Dear beneficiary: Mr. James Perry,

Well hunt her and let me know, she is the one you trusted not me have you forgotten the time you said that word? Even when I sent you an account to make a payment you refused and went and send it to her account.

I am doing my job she is the one that is not acting professional, hunt her do you think that I am happy that she is not yet back do you know a lot of people she is holding their money? And nothing has been done.

If you can hunt her and bring her back to me I will be happy so that I will finish the transactions I have at hand.

The best option is for you to send the money I asked you to send let's proceed and bring this transaction to an end while we will wait for her return and she will send the money back to you as soon as she is back.

Don't be a fool follow my instruction and receive your $39.6M. I have made my point you still have one more chance.

Thanks

There is more but am confuse so let's see a chat eh?

Quote:

Kevin: hello baby
how are u doing today
i have not hear from Mr. James what is going on?
Darla: Wait we haven't come up with our plan yet. You didn't email him did you?
Kevin: Hello
I emailed him two times no respond
I even gave him an account to send the money
I just got a respond from James now
Darla: ok
Kevin: What plan are u talking about
Darla: A bit late for that don’t you think?
Kevin: How is it late?
I will send u the mail James sent to me
Darla: It’s late because you already sent him emails without us discussing it
Kevin: U told me to send him an email
And tell him my real name
HE SENT GINGER’S MESSAGE
The mail he sent to me
Darla: ok
LATER
Kevin: So what am I to tell him
Darla: Maybe thank him and ask for some advice?
Kevin: Baby u know why we are doing this
And I don't want to get into stress over this
Is just because I needed money to further the jobs we have at hand
Darla: ok
Kevin: So I don't suppose to be going through all this
Darla: Well you are so deal with it
Kevin: How do u mean?
This is not what we agreed on
Darla: We also didn't agree for you to go behind my backside did we?
Kevin: Backside again?
How do u mean by ur back side?
U asked me to email him and tell him what we discussed and also tell him my real name which I did where did I go wrong
U have started again
Darla: Huh?
Kevin: We suppose to be good and to each other but u seem to be mean to me
Darla: Am not mean Mr. Grumpy Pants!
Kevin: U are not mean but u called me Grumpy pants again
Darla: Hmmm
I make you money and you complain all the time
Kevin: Where is the money?
Darla: It is safe
Kevin: And when am I getting my share that's the most important thing
Not the safety
Darla: I found you a sure fire way to get some money and you are still complaining????
Kevin: How my love
Baby what I need is just the one we have worked out
Simple
Darla: Mr. James? Does that name ring a bell???
Kevin: Baby I really do not buy that idea
Swan farm is what I don't know
I am going to thank him for his mail what about the questions he asked
Darla: Answer him truthful and I’m sure he will send you the money
Kevin: When are u coming back
Darla: I don’t know Hunny
Kevin: Baby I have missed u a lot I need to come to u and make u feel like a real woman
Darla: Awww
Kevin: I want to start my paper immediately but I need money to do that
U need to come back pls my love
Darla: Hunny deal with Mr. James and that will get us through this for now
Kevin: Ok

Posted: Wed Mar 30, 2016 7:49 am

The Idiot was silent during Easter - OP thinks he went home to his village to beg money from his kin. Got tired of waiting and sent him a little prod...

Ugandalf wrote:

My dear Richard Baggins,

I am still waiting to hear back from you.

Ugandalf

Kevin the Idiot wrote:

Dear beneficiary:

Urgent Notice

Thanks for your email, but first my name is not Richard Baggins but Richard Fisher i would advice you address me by my name,

Since you are interested in the funds please kindly tick your preferable payment choice below and get back to us with the details;

OPTION 1 (ATM CARD):

1) Your Full______________
2) Your Full Contact Address____________________
3) Your direct Cell phone No# ________________
4) Attache Copy of Your Driver's License_____________

OPTION 2: Fund through Electronic Wire Transfer, Re-confirm the below listed info:

1) Your bank name:
2) Bank address:
3) Account no:
4) Routing no
5) Swift code:
6) Account name:
7) Personal Phone/Mobile no:
8 ) Residential Address:

In anticipation of your immediate response.

R. RICHARD FISHER

I'll address him by his name, awrite... Laughing

Ugandalf wrote:

Dear Bilbo Fisher,

I do not see how to tick my preferred choice, as the email you sent me is not interactive.
I am on my way to Dol Goldur to do some research, but hopefully, I still have network when I get there, so kindly keep me updated.

Ugandalf

Kevin the Idiot wrote:

Dear beneficiary:

Urgent Notice

I am in good receipt of your email and the content was well noted, I think I make a mistake you don't suppose to tick just choose your preferable payment option and fill the information.

please kindly choose your preferable payment choice below and get back to us with the details;

OPTION 1 (ATM CARD):

1) Your Full______________
2) Your Full Contact Address____________________
3) Your direct Cell phone No# ________________
4) Attache Copy of Your Driver's License_____________

OPTION 2: Fund through Electronic Wire Transfer, Re-confirm the below listed info:

1) Your bank name:
2) Bank address:
3) Account no:
4) Routing no
5) Swift code:
6) Account name:
7) Personal Phone/Mobile no:
8 ) Residential Address:

In anticipation of your immediate response.

MR. RICHARD FISHER

Ugandalf wrote:

Dear Bilbo Fisher,

I am not sure I understand the difference between the two options, they seem like hobbit affairs to me - small and insignificant, yet of great importance. Can you explain the difference to me?

Ugandalf

Kevin the Idiot wrote:

Dear beneficiary:

Urgent Notice

I am in good receipt of your email and the content was well noted, the option one which is ATM CARD delivery it means that the total amount of your funds will be credited into an ATM CARD which will be deliver to your doorstep for you to start making use of it and you can make withdraw in any ATM machine in the hole world.

Secondly the option (2) which is bank to bank wire transfer, means you are going to provide your bank details to enable us transfer your funds into your bank account and it is going to take 48 banking hours for the funds to reflect into your account for you yo start making withdrawal.

Hope you now understood the difference? In that case you are to make your choice and fill the information.

OPTION 1 (ATM CARD):

1) Your Full______________
2) Your Full Contact Address____________________
3) Your direct Cell phone No# ________________
4) Attache Copy of Your Driver's License_____________

OPTION 2: Fund through Electronic Wire Transfer, Re-confirm the below listed info:

1) Your bank name:
2) Bank address:
3) Account no:
4) Routing no
5) Swift code:
6) Account name:
7) Personal Phone/Mobile no:
8 ) Residential Address:

In anticipation of your immediate response.

MR. RICHARD FISHER

Ugandalf wrote:

My dear Bilbo Fisher,

Thank you very much for clearing that up. In that case, I think it would be most practical to opt for the bank transfer, please. I am an elderly man, and call me old fashioned, but I prefer money and gold rings to plastic cards.

Ugandalf

As you can see, nothing much to report from Middle-Earth so far.

However, back on Normal-Earth, Juan is getting ready to make a bank transfer. I'm sure it will save Kevins day when he gets the news. Twisted Evil

Stay tuned.

Elite Baiter Joined: 28 Mar 2015 Posts: 1916

^^ Just love the Hobbity hoo-ha. Very Happy

Posted: Wed Mar 30, 2016 2:47 pm

And then, Juan finally proved that Judy is the one to be trusted, not Dichard...

Quote:

This email is just to prove you are wrong about Judy, cabron:

I have spoken to Judy, and she has agreed to deduct the money I already paid from the latest fee, som that I only had to pay 8,000 dollars to her account this morning, instead of 16,900, and that she will cover the rest of the dineros herself. So I got my money back from her, you see, gringo? Now, who can be trusted now? I think that the fact that you have talked bad about Judy behind her back and pretended to be her patrona proves that you are a liar and a donkey pendejo. Chinga tu madre. Estás pero si bien verga.

Juan

ETA: And his reply was swiftly in my inbox...

Kevin the Idiot wrote:

Dear beneficiary: Mr. Juan

You don't know what you are doing, and time shall come when you will regret all this things, who even asked to pay $16,900.00? After the payment what happened next that's when we will know if I am in charge or not, let's see how you are going to receive your funds after all.

Thanks

MR. RICHARD FISHER

Over to you, OP. Laughing

Posted: Wed Mar 30, 2016 6:13 pm

Dickfisher wrote:

Attn: Mr. Brad Johnson,

I received your mail in good condition but did not understand it clearly, have you transfer the fees to the new account I sent to you which is listed below?

If yes let me have the receipt but if no also let me know when you are sending the fees.

I am sending you below the account to send the money again so you don't make a mistake.

snip

Send me the receipt as soon as you make the payment.

Thanks

MR.

Brad wrote:

I will be returning late Saturday. Then I can authorize my Shyster to give up the goods!

The new account is NOTED by me. Please be very sensitive to my condition here Rickard:

My business must be ALWAYS be secret between you and I only. !!! ok?

Are my funds accruing interest as you hold them?*? At what % are we @?

I look forward to my $$ & moving on ^ to the east side ~to a deluxe apartment in the sky!!#%!

The $$$$ will be sent to your new bank account. Please do have a pleasant day sir.

Tapadh leibh Fishman

Brad

fishman wrote:

Attn: Mr. Brad Johnson,

I am in good receipt of your email and the content is noted, I promised to keep this business secret it will be between you and I no third party.

Your funds accruing interest and I will inform the % after the transfer of your funds, immediately your funds get transferred into your bank account I will calculate the interest and send it to you without any further delay. And you can get any type of house you want in the hole world if you want to live in the sky is your choice.

I will be looking forward to hear from you by Saturday please do have a safe trip

Thanks

MR.

ETA Fisherman's reply

Posted: Thu Mar 31, 2016 12:04 am

Kevin is getting a bit er Krusty these days:

Quote:

Dear beneficiary: Mr. James,

You are very stupid Mr. James or what ever they called you, do you think I am working under Judy for your information she is working under me and I am in charge here so I decide what happened it is a pity you follow the instruction of a woman go find her yourself.

Your transaction is at risk and if time is not taken you are going to lose your funds. Be wise and don't act like a fool you trusted her get her yourself.

Thanks

MR. RICHARD

Dang he is even Pitying the Fool...

Quote:

Rash Ass or what ever they called you,

Take your head out of your ass for a moment and understand it is NOT ME that Judy is investigating.
IT IS YOU WHO SHE IS INVESTIGATING.

Remember how you told me there was missing funds that Judy had to investigate...I am aware that it is probably you who made those funds go missing.
I get it, I know how to move money too and if you cover your ass correctly, you can invest with an agreement from your customer. However Rash Ass, you failed to follow the proper procedure and now your job is on the line.

Stop being a hot headed idiot and think. Who is the smart one here? Probably you. Who has the power here? Probably Judy. This shit happens when companies give a little bit of power to a woman. They fuck shit up Rash. Then they take our jobs. Don't let this happen to you Rash.

Get her back where she belongs so that my payment can be released from the Bank and we can conclude this shit.

I'm tired of this bullshit Rash. Very tired.

Obviously Rash or Dick or Bilbo (anything but Sue eh?) isn't Happy:

Quote:

Dear beneficiary: Mr. James,

After reading your mail I laughed at you, you are not yet tired you will soon get tired look for Judy yourself.

You refused to follow simple instruction I thought you have her number why not call her stop sending me message when ever Judy returns back we can proceed unless you want to follow my instruction and receive your funds.

Since you trusted her get her yourself and mind you my job is not at risk I am the boss here so go fuck yourself.

Thanks

TheDane Wrote:

Quote:

Over to you, OP.

Yeah Yeah. Whenever Juan gives Kevin a poke then I'm immediately called into Chart:

Quote:

Kevin: Hello
U went behind my backside and collected money from Juan
Darla: Huh?
Kevin: So u decided to do things on ur own without my knowledge and u think I won't know
Darla: You are upsettling our clients so they want me to deal with them
I'm making money aren't I?
Kevin: U think u are doing the right thing?
Without letting me know
What if the victims come after u
It is easy for them to pay for not easy for them to forget their money if nothing is done
Darla: I’m making money unlike you
Kevin: It is not the issue here
I make a lot of money than u
Darla: I Fucken knew it! You have been going behind my backside!
Kevin: I didn't mean I go ur backside
Do not misunderstood me the money that was in ur account I was the one that made it that's what I was saying
Not the other way round I never collected any money without ur knowledge
Darla: All you have done is upsettle our victims
Kevin: How?
U are the one upsetting them
By holding their money and nothing doing anything to prove that this is real
No documentation nothing nothing
Listen a friend of mine was short in Mexico by American client he tress the guy and short him because he could not do things accordingly I know danger that's is involve in this transaction that's why I want things to go accordingly but u think is to collect money
Darla: I don’t plan on going to Mexico
Kevin: Baby it is not all about going to mexico this people are dangerous and can locate you any where u are
I know the danger in this matter that's why I want to do it in away they won't hunt u
But u think u know it all
Please and please again I don't want to lose u
A lot of people have died because of their ignorant
Darla: You are sweat but please send them some documents.
Kevin: Baby where do I get money to send then the documents?
That's why I asked u to come back or ask any of them to send some money to my account then the job continue
Darla: Mr. James will give you the money I’m sure of it
Kevin: How of the client do u ask to pay ?
Darla: I need to use the restroom
Kevin: Ok
Are u back?
Darla: Hiya
Kevin: Baby how people did u ask to pay?
Darla: Huh?
Kevin: Juan said he is going to pay $8,000
I asked u a question
U don't want to talk to me
Darla: You are confusing me
Kevin: How am confusing u baby?
Darla: I don’t know what you are asking me
Kevin: How much did u tell Juan to pay and how many of them did u ask to pay money?
Darla: I can’t remember
Kevin: Did u call anyone on phone
Give me details so I will know how to follow them
Cos some of them sent me a message so I want know so I don't do mistake
Darla: I called Mr John and Mr Juan and had emails with Mr Khan
Kevin: Mr. Khan is the one who sent someone to go and hunt Auntie Mary
He is very dangerous do not email him
What did Mr. John said?
Baby I will talk to u later
Darla: ok
Kevin: I love u
Darla: Awww love you more
Kevin: U are the best
I will love u forever
LATER
Hello Baby
Darla: Hiya
Kevin: How are u doing mg love
Darla: Am good just finishing off a Pina Colada and getting another
Kevin: Ok
I sent message to James
Did him talk to u about
Darla: He did the other day because he didn’t think I was serious about the Swan farm
Kevin: Yes
That was what he said on the mail he sent to me
And said he will talk more about it with u
Darla: I will be meeting him after Happy Hour this afternoon so I can bring it up again ok?
Kevin: Ok
Pls do
Let me further the jobs
So they don't start disturbing u
Darla: ok
Kevin: Did u tell him that I am not above 21years?
Darla: Huh?
Kevin:How old did u tell James I am
Darla: I don't think I told him your age
Kevin: Ok

Posted: Thu Mar 31, 2016 9:34 am

This.

oscarpiles wrote:

U went behind my backside and collected money from Juan
Darla: Huh?

...

Kevin: It is not the issue here
I make a lot of money than u
Darla: I Fucken knew it! You have been going behind my backside!

Posted: Fri Apr 01, 2016 12:13 am

^What is that Sorcery?

So Mr. James is having some fun with Richard it seems:

Quote:

Rat,

Are you a fucking idiot?

Let me clear this one point for you:

I followed your fucking instructions
I fucking paid 3 fucking times

You are a complete simple idiot who must be so addicted to drugs that you can't understand simple emails

I'll make this real easy for you

Kiss my ass and fuck off

I'll stick with Judy as she isn't a complete idiot

You really need mental help Rat.

Kiss my ass, kiss it hard.

Kevin is finally out of words...almost:

Quote:

Dear beneficiary: Mr. James,

Suit yourself

Thanks

Meanwhile Mr. James tells Kevin about how things really work:

Quote:

Hey there my main man,

Whassup?

I felt you would enjoy some bro talk. People here who use language to communicate in a friendly way will use "main man" and "whassup". I think it originated in Africa.

So you want to be a swan farmer? I gotta say my main man, if you here only 3 months the feds won't let a foreigner do it.

There are several ways you can make this happen. You have to show the government that someone who is an American citizen is willing to take complete control of the farm if and when you return to Nigeria. Do you think that Darla will do that for you?

I didn't really get to talk to her about that since she's really only good for one thing. I hit that ass, hard. Bitches are only good for fucking. I don't listen to her half the time. Most times it's just noise to me. It's called "Charlie browning". Write that phrase down, it is a culturally relevant phrase that you can use to show Americans that you fit in to our society. So when that bitch is Charlie browning I'm thinking to myself, if I shove my dick in her mouth she'll shut up, amirite? Write down amirite, it's short for am I right. Well I usually don't shove my dick in her mouth until she's so drunk she can't possibly clamp down and bite me. I really hate when that happens. Bitches get stitches when that happens. Amirite?

Sorry my main man for thinking you were a teenager, when Darla spoke of you it sounded as if you were a child with big dreams of animal husbandry.

Stay on the down low my main man,
James

Oh hey, Eddy Murphy is the bomb! He is the funniest fucker! Live your dreams bro, live your dreams.

And perhaps we need to hear from Darla:

Quote:

Darla: Hiya
Kevin: Hello
Darla: How are you?
Kevin: I am fine and u?
Darla: I’ve got a sore throat but other than that I feel fine
Kevin: Baby what happened?
Darla: I’m not really sure Hunny
Kevin: But u are OK now
Darla: Yeah just a sore throat and a bruise on my butt.
Kevin: OK pls be fine for me
Darla: ok
Kevin: I love u so much
Darla: Awww
Kevin: Did u talk to James?
Darla: I did but sometimes it seems like he isn’t listening to me.
Kevin: So what next
Are u happy the way I am here in Nigeria
Are u happy with my condition?
Darla: Huh?
Kevin: Baby I wish u are here with me and see things to urself
Even people that went to university has not job Nigeria is too hard this is our way of survive
My dad need to go for operation pls do something
Darla: I told you that you need to work like a man would but you never listen to me.
Kevin: So I am not working like a man right
I work out money which is in ur account and u don't want to do anything to send my own share
And u tell me I need to work like a man
Is well I won't border u again and won't ask u after that money just suit urself but a day will come when u will need me so much
Darla: Hmmm
Kevin: This is just what I need to tell u
I see u have no conscience
Darla: Oh quit being a Mr. Grumpy Pants and act reasonable.
Kevin: I am but u are not helping matters
Darla: Nevermind
Kevin: Today will be the last day I will talk to u
I am running out of patient
I am no long comfortable with what u are doing baby
Darla: ok. Bye Bye
Kevin: U will need me one day
By then I won't listen to u
In fact I am going to contact all the clients and tell them the real things
U are mean to me
Darla: Great Kevin the Idiot is threatening me again.
Kevin: Is not a threat but a promise
Darla: Whatever
Kevin: Ok
Darla: I’ll enjoy spending my money
Kevin: And u will suffer cos a lot will come after u
Darla: No they won’t and you know that
Kevin: I swear they will
Do u know how many of them who want ur contact but I refused to give it to them
Ur problem is that u don't know how this work and u can't do without me
A lot of people are in jail life imprisonment but I know how to do the job till then end
I worked with one guy in US he think he will eat my money but I made him suffer he is suffering in jail over there people do not play with my intelligent and go free
I am a nice person but no one cheat me and go free
Darla: Am cheating no one and I’m doing just fine at this. How much money is in my account now?
Kevin: U don't know how much is in the account
Darla: I’ve not checked it since I’ve been in Aruba.
BRB
AFTER COFFEE
Am more better now
Kevin: What happened?
Darla: I just gargled with some salt water because my throat is still sore. Mr. James told me he also had a cure for that though.
Kevin: Ok
U have to take Carr of urself
I love u so much
Darla: First you threaten me and now you love me??? What the Fucken Hell is this shits?
Kevin: I love u but u make me say things out of anger
Things I never wanted to say
Baby pls get some money for me the peace rain let the jobs continue we have make a lot of money and will still make more
Darla: I think you need to apologize more better than that if I’m to continue charting with you.
Kevin: Ok
I am so sorry
I love u so much
Accept my apology
U still remain the beat
Best
Darla: I’ll talk to you later if I have time. There is a nice Pastor that I met who wants to go for drinks.
Kevin: Pastor?
Darla: Yess
Kevin: Ok
How did u meet him?
Darla: He was at the Omelet station behind me this morning and we spoke for a while
Kevin: Spoke about what?
Darla: Mostly Chit Chat. Why?
Kevin: Nothing just want to know
And why did him want to have drink with u baby?
Darla: He seems lonely and wants some company.
Kevin: Ok

Posted: Fri Apr 01, 2016 12:38 am

Juan kept on mocking Kevin.

Juan wrote:

You gotta be kidding me, cabron. Even now, when you are caught with your pantalones down, you keep on lying like some kind of diablo. I am sorry for you on behalf of your familia, they must have a hard time dealing with a gringo goat like you.
Judy is trustworthy. When have you ever done anything worth of anyones trust? Boca de pedo. Cabeza de mierda. I will leave you in the desert for the ants to feast upon.

Juan

Kevin the Idiot wrote:

Dear beneficiary: Mr. Juan

Suit yourself time shall come when you will need my help

Thanks

MR. RICHARD FISHER

Juan wrote:

Mr. Dickhead Fisher,

You re a lying cabron! Que te den por el culo!

Juan!!!

Meanwhile, in Middle-Earth:

Kevin the Idiot wrote:

Dear beneficiary:

Urgent Notice

Thanks for your mail which has been noted, in that case you have to fill the information listed below so that we can proceed and bring this transaction to an end

Since bank transfer is okay by you then fill the information below.

1) Your bank name:
2) Bank address:
3) Account no:
4) Routing no
5) Swift code:
6) Account name:
7) Personal Phone/Mobile no:
8 ) Residential Address:

In anticipation of your immediate response.

MR. RICHARD FISHER

Ugandalf wrote:

My dear Bilbo Fisher,

Here is the information you are asking for:

Kindly confirm the receipt of this information, my dear hobbit. It is not for mortal men to see.

Ugandalf

Kevin the Idiot wrote:

Dear beneficiary: Mr. Ugandalf Gray,

This is to acknowledge the receipt of your mail and the content is well noted, your banking details has been received and cross checked,and your bank account is okay and will contain the total sum of US$39.6M. Congratulation once again.

we obliged to let you know that your funds has been approved today after series of Board meetings and International Monitory Fund we had with the board of directors of the FEDERAL RESERVE BANK HOUSTON TEXAS USA.

Following the UNITED STATE OF AMERICA constitution and the accounting principals governing the financial institutions, we wish to let you know that all charges has been deducted from your funds, both the transfer charges etc.

It is very patient to tell you that you have to pay a non-deductible fee of International Funds Clearance Certificate of US$4,500 This is one of the principles guiding local and international transfers. On receipt of the said fees, our telex manager in Califotnia USA shall wire the sum of US$39.6M immediately to your bank account with no further delay and your transfer/payment slip will be send to you which you will take to your bank for confirmation of your funds within 48 banking hours. And also your bank is going to call you and inform you that some amount of money was transferred into your account,

You are advised to send the needed fee of US$4,500 to our telex manager in California USA with the bank information listed below.

Below is the listed bank information of our telex manager which you will use to send the needed fee of US$4,500

[Account info already reported by Lakeside, snipped -TD]

Keep me posted as soon as you send the payment so that i will take the record, and to make sure that your funds get transferred into your account immediately.

Immediately you send the needed fee send me the receipt for record purpose.

In anticipation of your immediate response.

MR. RICHARD FISHER

Ugandalf wrote:

My dear Bilbo Fisher,

This sounds very good indeed. I have just met with the council, and they are anxious for some progress, so we will take care of this as soon as possible. I have no netbank access, so I have to go to Bree in order to make the transfer, but I shall aspire to do so tomorrow.

Ugandalf

Kevin the Idiot wrote:

Dear beneficiary: Mr. Ugandalf Gray,

I am in good receipt of your email and the content is well noted, I shall wait for the transfer of the fee tomorrow to enable us bring this transaction to an end.

Below still remains the bank account of our telex manager which you will use to make the payment of $4,500.00 and do not fail to send me the receipt after making the payment

[Account info already reported by Lakeside, snipped -TD]

Immediately you send the needed fee send me the receipt for record purpose.

In anticipation of your immediate response.

MR. RICHARD FISHER

And so I shall - and add to his disappointment. OP, I hope you got time for his rants tomorrow. Stay tuned. Twisted Evil

Posted: Fri Apr 01, 2016 2:36 pm

Quick update:

Ugandalf is a man of his word, so he made the payment and emailed Dichard afterwards:

Ugandalf wrote:

My dear Bilbo Fisher,

The amount has been transferred this morning as the light rose, and it should reflect in your bank account within 24 hours. I have attached the receipt for you.

Kindly confirm the reception of the receipt, and bring me the good news of this transaction. Even the smallest person can change the course of the future.

Sincerely,
Ugandalf

Receipt attached. Twisted Evil

Now, nothing can possibly go awry!

Posted: Fri Apr 01, 2016 10:06 pm

... or so it seemed... Sad

Quote:

Dear beneficiary: Mr. Ugandalf Gray,

I received the receipt of the money transferred, but if I may ask was I the one that gave you the account to send the money to Georgia? I am very sure I am not the one so how come you send the money with another account and who was the person that gave you the account to send the money?

I need an answer to the questions

In anticipation of your immediate response.

MR. RICHARD FISHER

Luckily, Ugandalf could explain it all.

Ugandalf wrote:

My dear Bilbo Fisher,

Why, it was your superior, Lady Judy. She called me early this morning and told me that there had been some mistake, and I asked if she was your superior and she confirmed this. Then she asked me what account you had given me, and I told her, and she said that it was a mistake and that you gave me the wrong account. It was good luck, too, because if I hadn't heard the phone ringing, I might just have gone to the bank and made the transfer to the wrong account. So I was lucky that she called me, and you are lucky to have such a nice superior. I wish my superior was just as nice, but Saruman is really up to no good these days. He has become more interested in they ways of machines and technology. But in any case, the problem was straightened out, and now I have made the payment, so we should be ready to proceed.

Thank you again for all your assistance. Little folk never ceases to surprise me.

Ugandalf

Posted: Sat Apr 02, 2016 12:14 am

Damn Swedes are always stirring things up eh?

Quote:

Kevin: Hello
Darla: Hiya
Kevin: How are u doing today?
Darla: My throat feels more better
Kevin: Ok
Did u give anyone account to send money?
Darla: Just to that strange confused man.
Why?
Kevin: What is his name?
I just want to know
And u don't need to give someone account without my knowledge
Darla: Uganda or something? Sounds Swedish to me
Kevin: Did u call him on phone?
Darla: No it was email
Kevin: How come u email him
And now he said he has sent the money and want his funds to be transfer to his account
Baby why are u doing all this
Darla: He was confuse and I helped to straighten him out.
Kevin: How is him confused did him call u on phone ?
Darla: Wait, well I was talking to someone after I had drinks with that nice Pastor.
Kevin: U know what is on grand how we are planning to raise money so I can get documents to them and u still went and asked someone to pay into that account now that he has paid what are u going to tell him knowing that u don't have access to the account now
What are u thinking this is not how to do this job I know what I am saying
Darla: He was talking aboot some account from California so he was obviously confuse.
Kevin: Hello
He called u on phone or u called him?
Darla: I don’t recall. Hmm those Bombinis are strong.
Kevin: So now that he has sent the money what next
Cos he sent me email and I am not going to reply him
Darla: Huh?
Kevin: Yes I will not
Cos u did not act well
U knew very well that I needed some money to further the jobs u should have write to me so I will give him an account to send the money for me to proceed and issue the documents
This is just simple then they will pay more instead of disturbing u
Darla: I saved our money from going to someone elses account didn’t I?
Kevin: U did but in other hands I have an account to give him also to save u stress baby
U don't want me to continue these jobs?
Darla: Aha! I Fucken knew it!!!! You went behind my backside again!!!!
I LOGGED OUT
Kevin: I did not I was surprise the man sent me a message that he make a payment
Hello
Talk to me so I will know what to tell him
Darla: It doesn’t take a rocket appliance to figure what you are trying to do Mr. Man!
Kevin: How do u mean
Darla: You know exactly what I mean
Kevin: Baby I don't know what u are talking about
Sometimes u make things so hard I am here telling u how things suppose to be and u are talking about what I knew nothing about
Darla: Hmmm. Am soooo angry with you
Kevin: How do u mean u are so angry With me?
I will send the man message to retract the money since u don't want to listen to me
Darla: Quit being a Fucken Idiot
Kevin: Ok
LATER
I have replied the man
Hello are u there?
Darla: What did you say?
Kevin: I said I have replied him
Darla: AND I SAID’ What did you say?’
Kevin: He stated that u called him and gave him an account
So I am going to give him another bill to pay but I will give him an account to send the money so I can issue them the documents and continue the jobs OK?
Talk to me I want to sleep pls
Darla: I told him that California account was no good so you had better come up with something else
Kevin: U don't have to worry I am going to handle that all u need to do is to just tell him to pay to the account I will provide to him
He is so desperate and I need to further the job so I will give him an account to send the money
Hello talk to me
Darla: Just don’t do anything stupid.
Kevin: How do u mean I am not doing anything stupid OK
I hope u understand what I mean I am going to give him an account to send this second payment I will give to him tomorrow
Cos he can't send it to your own since u are still in Aruba and ur being there is not helping matter so we need to make too much money and the way we can do that is for me to issue them documents at least for them to believe that this is real
Do u now understand me?
Darla:I have to go. Carleeto is here to rub oil on my body
Kevin: Ok
Do not mess these jobs up pls
I will send him the account tomorrow and tell him what to do
Darla: Am not the one being a big baby am I?
Kevin: U are not but u have to follow what I just said now
They will pay a lot of money as soon as I am done with the documents
Darla: Oooh that feels so good. Later Gator
Kevin: Ok
Hope u understand everything I just said?

Posted: Sun Apr 03, 2016 6:51 pm

Quote:

Attn: Mr. Brad Johnson,

Thanks for your mail which has been noted, i did not party this weekend because i was very busy trying to get things done, you are welcome and i will be looking forward to receive the payment of $13,500.00 by tomorrow.

Below still remains the account of our Shyster which you will use to send the money.

~snip, snip, snap!

The above listed information is what he need to transfer the money and I believe there will be no story this time around.

Mr. Muhammad will obtain the necessary documents to enable us proceed and transfer your fund into your account he is also an American citizen.

Immediately you send the money to the above listed send me the receipt. I am looking forward to hear from you tomorrow.

Thanks

Let's see how he reacts an interloper. Very Happy

Posted: Sun Apr 03, 2016 11:55 pm

Our Lad was not having a Happy Sunday it seems:

Quote:

Darla: Hiya
Kevin: Hiya
Darla: What you doing?
Kevin: How do u mean?
What am doing?
Darla: Um I asked what you were doing.
Kevin: I am hanging out with friends
Darla: Nice. Tell me more
Kevin: Nothing much a friend of mine is doing his birthday
Darla: ok
Kevin: Yep
Darla: you don’t seem happy to me
Kevin: And u know why I am not happy
Darla: huh?
Kevin: U know why
Darla: No Mr. Grumpy pants I don’t.
Kevin: U do
Darla: Hmmm
Kevin: My friend called me a fool
That u are using me
Darla: Some friend
Kevin: I said my friend
I really do not understand what we are doing any more
Darla: That is why it is best that am in charge
Kevin: U are in charge u said right
Ok
No problem let's see how it goes
Darla: Yess
Kevin: Ok
I just pity u
Darla: huh?
Kevin: U don't want my happiness
Darla: Are you drunk? you are acting kinda strange even for you
Kevin: I am not drunk baby
Darla: Then why are you acting like a little baby?
Kevin: I am not really happy
When are u coming back?
Darla: I don’t know but maybe you could come here? It’s a paradise and Mr. Jizzler pays for everything.
Kevin: How can I come there without money
What about the money that is in the account?
How do I get my own share
Darla: what aboot the money from Mr. James or the money you collected from behind my backside?
Kevin: I did not collect any money from ur backside side
and James did not send me any money
I was told that u are making use of my money and playing with me
Darla: Am not touching the money Hunny. Hee hee that rhymes
Kevin: Then why would u accused me of collecting money at ur backside
?
Why not ask James if he send me any money why are u like this?
CRYING NOT SO SMILING EMOTICONS
Darla: Um i gave you a cunning plan and maybe you should go with it instead of wanting others to do everything for you??????
Kevin: Why others
Which others
That plan won't work
All I want is the money we have already made
I gave u from now till weekend to get my own money for me if I did not get it ur life will be in danger I will tell James and all the people that paid money into that account whom u are and where u are
If u know what James said about u I don't think u will play with me
He is mad about the money he paid not only him
So get my money and let peace rain
Darla: And all I want is for you to get off your lazy ass and do some work.
Oooh that nice Pastor is coming by to take me on a dinner cruise.
Kevin: I don't have much to tell u
Just wait and see how ur life will end
Darla: That is because you are stupid and resort to threats when you get confuse
There there little girl all will be more better soon AS LONG AS YOU DO NOT FUCK THIS UP
Kevin: I am going to send James all the contacts of the people that paid and I will also send them James contact to know whom u are is a promise
Darla: No you won’t Stupidity Head.
Back after dinner
Kevin: I swear I will do that
U think u can play with me after all the money we have made
Darla: Am not playing you moron
Kevin: If u are not playing with me u would have tried ur best to get me my own money
and u won't even tell me to get a job and stop expecting people to do everything for me
Why did we start this at the first place is it not to make money so I can come over there and live with u now u see me as someone who do not have job
Darla: Wait you have a job?
Kevin: I don't have a job
If I have I won't be doing this
This is only way of my survival
So no one mess me up
In fact I am upset now if u did not do something by tomorrow James and other clients will know the truth
And I will send others James contact and send James their contacts for them to call and confirm I don't mind losing the money as u don't want to get my own share
Darla: No you won’t little girl
Kevin: I am done with u
Tomorrow is the last day
I have already prepared the message to send the them
If I send James message from ChrisLad he will believe everything u don't know what he says about u
Ur life is in danger don't send me message again
Darla: Fuck out you Moron. I’ve got the Lord on my side now with this nice Pastor
Kevin: That will not help u
U have got Lord but u cheat
James told me everything he does with u how he fuck u
Darla: What????
Mr. James is a Gentleman

Posted: Mon Apr 04, 2016 1:47 am

Quote:

Kevin: I did not collect any money from ur backside side

As much as I hate this lad, I love the way he shreds the English langiage. Laughing

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