Turd 4, Mombassa, Kenya

By joining our community you will have the ability to post topics and access other forums reserved for members. Registration is quick, simple and absolutely free. Join our community today by clicking here.

Posted: Thu Jan 02, 2014 8:18 pm

^ that's more of Hector's problem than Bernie's. I'd put money on the boat being there, but Hector goes to the wrong location.
Bernie's plans are fool proof.

Hector just happens to be a superior grade of fool.

Posted: Thu Jan 02, 2014 9:08 pm

I have a plan for the boat thing. Spoiler alert, but the boat, its not going to be there on the 12th.

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 24 Dec 2012 Posts: 699

Let me guess. The boat sinks and the captain drowns while sending an email, not forgetting to press send.

Posted: Thu Jan 02, 2014 9:39 pm

^^^LOL!

Doomed captain wrote:

Mayday, mayday, we are HMS Hector's Salvation, taking on water off the Horn of Africa, listing heavily, mayday mayd&$#&*$#&*$#&*$#49fjfjf9fr3u92Aieeeeee!

Will Hector ever catch on?

Posted: Fri Jan 03, 2014 2:03 am

Hahahaha, it will be a bit more complicated than that, but it will be disappointing, for sure.

Baba wrote:

Dear Mr. Moishe,
Happiest of new years to you!
The plan is to have the boat arrive in port on the 29th. Once there, you will receive an email. Then from there you will meet one of my good associates. He will bring you documentations to get you past the gate. Once on the boat, you will be hidden on the boat. I will not be there, but some of your files will be there for comparisons of your biometrics.
Now, for my Temples Biometrics requirmentationing, we need to to a DNA testing of your semen. This must be witnessed by a camera. You must massage yourself to release your sexual tension onto wax paper. This must be filmed. At the moment of climax you must say the word "Peter". The paper with your genetic information that you have spray on must then be folded up, then placed into a zip lock baggy, and then mailed express mail service to an address that I will give you when I get the video. It is important that you video and photograph the event, especially the moment of release, and then the sealing of the envelope. This must be video taped and then email to me.
Once this is done, we will have a full DNA record of you, and with the other biometrics, this will be put into your file to avoid any miniscule chance of imposterization. That is for your protection.
So, please find camera video for the next security series to finish your biometrics.
I await for your last biometrics.
Blessed be,

Baba

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 28 Dec 2013 Posts: 16

That is brilliant.

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 24 Dec 2012 Posts: 699

No Way!

Posted: Fri Jan 03, 2014 2:45 am

I can see where we're going with this. Mr. Green

Posted: Fri Jan 03, 2014 2:50 am

I foresee a diminutive Nigerian gay rights activist receiving a surprise package in the near future.

I just hope no one tells him it is a trial pack of a new moisturiser.

Posted: Fri Jan 03, 2014 2:52 am

Ho...ly...... crap! Shocked

Master of Master Baiters Joined: 24 Dec 2012 Posts: 699

I predict the name of the boats captain.

A Chinese man called Captain Sum Ting Wong.

Baiting Guru Joined: 10 Oct 2010 Posts: 3877

is his thingy still operational?

great idea with the dna sample.

bohique needs to promise some money to the size reduced boi in nigeria Smile

so he awaits the postman at the door.

this would be the most evil dollarchop ever.

Posted: Fri Jan 03, 2014 11:07 am

All that for a boat that never comes.

I have no idea what the Sig icon could even be for such a video...

Posted: Fri Jan 03, 2014 11:29 am

@Robert, I think TM once sent a pair of soiled underpants to a lad. AFAIK this has been the most evil dolla-chop ever. However the lad took it pretty well, no rage explosion or such.

Posted: Fri Jan 03, 2014 2:04 pm

Ramdi wrote:

Dear Mr. Moishe,

I am most very excite! A New Year! Shiva Bless You With Golden Showers!

So, I have find out that there is about $30,000,000 in various locations and hidden domiciliary accounts in China, Thailand, Singapore and Malaysia. These are all hidden by umbrella companies. Someone has take a very hard works to put these monies in these locations. I still have no idea who set it up. I do not suspect Mr. Hardik. That is a most curious issue, whomsoever it may have been did not leave any trace of their identity.
I must mention to you that you will need one last biometrics soon. I think that you will hear from Baba about it. It involves a genetic sample and the use of a word or phrase for a voice signature. This will be used to properly identifying of you. Baba, my good friend, will not tell me anything, and you must not tell me anything, either, but he says I need to be exercizing of my patienceness. I wait.

This is going to be the year for me. I feel it. Finally I shall be freed from the tyranny of indebturedness, and I shall marry a fine and upstanding member of the Jewish Temple! You can have little idea how much this means to me.

May Shiva bless you with golden showers,

Ramdi

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Good lord! Mr. Green

Posted: Fri Jan 03, 2014 2:35 pm

I need to go wash my hands now.

Posted: Fri Jan 03, 2014 3:38 pm

^It's only Hecturd that needs to provide a sample, Firehouse. Rolling Eyes

Posted: Fri Jan 03, 2014 3:47 pm

There are no words...

Posted: Fri Jan 03, 2014 8:17 pm

I am accumulating a great deal of nasty pictures of Hector, all to help him be the poster-boi for West Africa Gay Rights Association. He is going to get his own web page and everything if he ever oozes back to Nigeria. Hopefully that will never happen.

Posted: Fri Jan 03, 2014 8:20 pm

Hopefully it will Very Happy

On the other hand your posters may be the reason why he never can.

Wannabe Baiter Joined: 20 Feb 2011 Posts: 90

DSW, did you ever think years ago, that you would one day become a gay porn director?

Laughing

Posted: Sat Jan 04, 2014 2:46 pm

^^^^^ LB, no, I thought I would be an online gynecologist. That didn't work out for me, sadly.....

Hector, being difficult, wrote:

Dear Baba,
Sir,I humbly ask,what kind of plan or arrangment is 29th,hidden on boat?stoleaway,DNA,biometric comparation on boat? e.t.c?what exactly is going on?is this offical or unofficial?
BabaI am who I am,not duplicate ,no impersonation,no one can try it.
Through ramitsh,your temple have full details of biometrics in your file.if there are further comfirmation,that can be done in my presence from my temple and my associate Mr bernie rhodes.
Demanding for any further biometric is uncalled for and a waste of time under this present condition,this poses a higher risk if intercepted,I hope you remember about ravi and the file and the fund.
You know I am not comfortable here and these delays.
Thank you
Moishe

...and to Bernie, Turd wrote:

I got your mail.and I say Thank you

Posted: Sat Jan 04, 2014 3:07 pm

Baba wrote:

Dear Mr. Moishe,
Yes, I understand with most completeness your many problems and unhappinesses. I get that. Most sadly and unfortunately this last requirementationing is of the absolute most importance. If I do not get the file from you, then Mr. Hardik will have to get it. This is not a negotionable thing. It is an absolute must.
On the 29th, the boat will arrive in port. From there a meeting will be schedulmenting, and from hence you will meet my associate at a place of your picking. They will fix papers for you, comparing biometrics. No problemings! Once on the boat, they will check DNA sequencing and voice profile. But it is most imprtance for you to have finish your file! If not, then Mr. Hardik can delay. If you have to send this to Mr. Hardik, then he will have this file. I do not so much trust him. Between his animal nature, his self indulgentness and his sexual voracity, I suspect he would use the video to self pleasure. Most very distasteful. Instead, if you send me the files, he will never see it as I have a a friend at the curators office. Once it is in the file, then it is in the file. No problemings!
If we do not have the file filled by the 29th, I am afraid you will not be able to make it on the boat. I want you to understand just how much riskiments I am undertaking on your behalf! Both myself and your future bride are risking everything to help you! We do this in memory of Ramitsh! If we were discovered, then we would loose many of our priveliedges! Our families could be made to suffering, too!
So, rest assure that in the case of your particular file by sending it through me, we get t the end zone bypassing Mr. Hardik! That is a good thing!
Please let me know what is the plan. I am afraid that if you do not do this by the 29th, the next boat will no be available until March or April.
Blessed be,

Baba

And, predictably, whiny Turd, in a note to Ramdi, wrote:

Ramdi,
Thank you for the updates.
Yes,I too feel this year is ours.
Considering all the last ordeal of last year and years before,it has been a long terrible journey you know?.
We have a lot to talk about when we meet.
Considering the delays and changes and biometric demands,I need to ask you,what is going on?is that official or unofficial?
I am who I am,not duplicate ,no impersonation,no one can try it.
Through ramitsh,your temple have full details of biometrics in your file.if there are further comfirmation,that can be done in my presence from my temple and my associate mr bernie rhodes.
Demanding for any further biometric is uncalled for and a waste of time under this present condition,this poses a higher risk if intercepted,I hope you remember about ravi and the file and the fund.
You know I am not comfortable here and with this delays.
Moishe

Baiting Guru Joined: 07 Jul 2006 Posts: 5727

Quote:

I am who I am,not duplicate ,no impersonation,no one can try it.
Moishe

This is true. There is only one Hector. Nobody else can come close. Very Happy