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Posted: Mon Feb 09, 2015 9:47 am

A lawyer is refusing to give an account for payment and insisting on Moneygram, and Mal is refusing to do that. An "Army Captain" begs Mal to do that. Mal's response was...

Quote:

That little turd is treating me like some lackey and I am not going to reward him for that! If you're OK with it, I guess it must be Army policy to let yourself be butt-fucked by jerkwads! I can tell you that it ain't the Marine way!

Posted: Thu Feb 12, 2015 9:57 pm

A dollar chop happened, arguments ensued, and the Lad got shirty, opening an email with

Quote:

Mr. Man
Am not here for joke's, okay.....

So my reply began

Quote:

Dr Thing
I am trying to do the right thing by you and this is what I get back?

Posted: Mon Feb 16, 2015 7:20 pm

BARR BRUNO RICHARD is with the IMF HEAD OFFICE COTONOU BENIN REPUBLIC (the people at the Washington HQ would be puzzled by that) and insists on his complete honesty and integrity.

Quote:

MY DEAR THIS IS MY (10) GOOD YEARS WORKING UNDER (I.M.F) OFFICE AND I HAVE NO CRIMINAL RECORD SO FAR AND IT WILL NOT START IN YOUR OWN TIME

I couldn't resist this:

Quote:

Mr Hauptmann
No criminal record? You kidnapped a baby for ransom and you say you don't have a criminal record?

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Richard_Hauptmann

Posted: Mon Feb 16, 2015 7:42 pm

lad wrote:

What is realy happening? uptill now the fund is not in the account.

I wrote:

Patience, katydid.

Posted: Thu Feb 19, 2015 11:31 pm

To a product lad who's trying to buy what he has no idea is an optical device:

Quote:

Please describe your setup, including the kind of light you're using and the indecent and reflected angles.

Posted: Fri Feb 20, 2015 1:25 am

If I'm insulting the scammer to give them a good slap or using my scammet character I always say to them

Quote:

You are a liar and a whore

They really hate it Smile

Posted: Tue Mar 03, 2015 5:21 pm

One lad has offered me some megabucks. Another lad is investigating them for scamming.

Quote:

I WANT THIS TO GET TO YOUR NOTICES THAT WE HAVE START OUR INVESTIGATION IN GETTING DOES WHO ARE INVOLVE IN SCAMMING YOU HERE IN NIGERIA...

Quote:

When you get the does, will you get the bucks also?

Posted: Sun Mar 08, 2015 6:21 pm

A Mystery Shopper company had vacancies in MY AREA.
So I filled in the Application Form

Full Name: CHARLES BEELZEBUB
> Home Address: 666 EPHRAIM CIRCLE
> City: HOGINGSCHESTER
> Country: ARATAH
> Zip code:875432
> Home Phone:NONE
> Cell Phone:NONE
> Alternative email address: NONE
> Preferred Time to Call: REGISTERED DEAF, DUMB AND BLIND

Guess what... I got the job.They said they'll be sending my first assignment this week !

Trophy Videos · Posted: Mon Mar 09, 2015 5:24 am

Gee i hope when you send the Western Union scan to him, you don't make too many mistakes and confuse it with your articles from theonion.com. Laughing

Posted: Mon Mar 09, 2015 6:11 am

The Lad who wrote

Quote:

the safe delivery of your entitlement to your doorstep or where-house

prompted these furious responses from Cammy.

Quote:

Hold on, you asshole - you think I'm a prostitute? Forget about this - I am going to make you suffer bigtime!

Quote:

That piece of shit Okoh called me a prostitute. Get someone else to do the shipping.

Hello I'm New here! Joined: 09 Mar 2015 Posts: 16

From a lad in his early stages:

Quote:

I could not open the ID you sent to me may be it was not properly attached please you can try it again just like I have attached this agreement.

Carrie, being a slightly lonely lass lets her inner workings shine through:

Quote:

I have asked my very good friend Ann to message me if the scanner at the office gets repaired while i'm away on business so that i can resend to you a copy of my ID.
Lets hope the repairman comes fast, i like it better when they come fast!

Posted: Sun Mar 29, 2015 12:01 pm

Baiting an au pair lad who has this line in one of his scripts:

Quote:

We expect someone down-to-earth, with good judgement and common sense as the kids' safety comes first.

My reply:

Quote:

Yes, i will be down to earth, judgemental and i cannot wait to put some common sense into your children.

Posted: Sun Mar 29, 2015 3:46 pm

Lad in Nigeria signs off with

Quote:

LOOKING FORWARD TO HERE FROM YOU.

So I answered:

Quote:

As you're looking forward to there from me, that means the best option is for me to go there, right?

Posted: Thu Apr 02, 2015 9:28 am

A Lad assured Mal that the money would be transferred as an inheritance, which means no questions asked. Mal was sceptical.

Quote:

you can bet your ass that any transfer of any size to Australia is going to be scrutinized with an intense scrute.

(Which looks nothing like this)

Posted: Sat Apr 04, 2015 11:08 am

I've clashed with several "Jenet Dibor" Lads, so when the latest one showed up...

Quote:

I can't believe you could have written that and kept a straight face. Everything that went wrong last year was your fault. It doesn't matter if you're "decent and God fearing" if you're also too stupid to understand simple, basic English.

Posted: Sat Apr 04, 2015 11:28 am

Someone else had sent a request off as Anakin Skywalker I think it was and so I thought why not see if this loan lad has any sense. Stupidly I spelled Amaydallah wrong just in case he googled.. daft thought really !

Quote:

* Name Of Applicant: Queen Amaydallah
* Address Of Applicant: High Estate, Naboo
* City: Naboo
* State: Alderaan
* Country: Felucia
* Gender: female
* Marital Status: widow
* Age: 39
* Monthly Income Rate: $ 56000
* Occupation: Monarch
* Tel:/ Mobile:
* Mobile:
* Amount Requested: $28 million
* Loan Duration: 20 years
* Purpose for the loan: Millenium Falcon Rebuild. Major Yacht Repairs
* Do you speak English: Perfectly

I got the loan and even a Bank Account to pay them the fee !

Baiting Guru Joined: 03 May 2007 Posts: 18313

Lad wrote:

i believe that i can trust you, as you can see that I'm dying in the hospital which I don't know what tomorrow will be.

Always willing to help a dying widow, my reply included:

Quote:

Tomorrow will be Tuesday

Not quite a Newb Joined: 14 Jul 2005 Posts: 41

^^

I actually did laugh out loud at your reply - earned me curious looks from my fellow library patrons.

Posted: Tue Apr 14, 2015 11:42 pm

A Lad sent Cammy his ID card.

Quote:

Attached is my Kenyan National ID Card..I want you to know my identification hence we have not mate before

Cammy was scornful.

Quote:

There'll be no mating because you're too ugly for that. Freyja wills that Her faithful cling to beauty and stay away from the ugly; fact of life, dewd!

Posted: Wed Apr 15, 2015 3:33 pm

Lad, now calling me "brother" repeatedly fails to understand that I need a second account from him, as sending the requested sum puts me over some kind of local limit.

I grow impatient:

Quote:

...Can you learn to read, or are you fool?
I believe am not you brother, I have only human in family tree.
N.B. This mean you are child of animal.

Answer from the lad:

Quote:

Make your payment to
Closed lad accounts

my characters usually grovel to lads but this time it worked to call him names.

Posted: Tue Apr 21, 2015 5:11 pm

Explaining to a sheeper why the money I sent yesterday from my American account has not arrived today in his British one:

Quote:

SWIFT ain't so SWIFT, you know.

Posted: Wed Apr 29, 2015 10:19 pm

My character traveled to Nigeria to meet a lad character called Tunde Lemo, but because of laddish incompetence, the lad dropped him and they never met. He just got home and found a message from the lad saying "Get back to me now". He answered:

Quote:

I left two weeks ago to visit you, and you told me WHILE I WAS WAITING AT THE AIRPORT to change my plans. When I arrived, you said "GOOD BYE". You could have summoned me any day while I was off the coast of Nigeria and I would have come. (Except Saturdays of course.) Instead you reply while I'm APPROACHING AMERICA IN FLIGHT.

The bone you have!

I and my wife and son had an enjoyable time studying marine life in the Bight of Benin with <character played by another baiter>. We are now home in Maryland.

Go tune your own lemon.

Posted: Fri May 01, 2015 12:56 pm

Quote:

You said it was a black leather trunk. I'm afraid that I cannot accept said trunk because black leather is considered an abomination. It'll bring a lifetime bad luck to even gaze upon it. Could you possibly put the money in a purple leather trunk? Purple is a very blessed color that brings all who gaze upon it good luck. It even overrides the evilness of leather from the cud-chewing cow.

Posted: Fri May 01, 2015 6:52 pm

^

I like that.

Posted: Sat May 02, 2015 2:47 am

^^I never saw a Purple Cow
Or pink one, once I took the vow.
-Punctured Poems, if I remember it right

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